#coming out of my cage and ive been soing just fine.txt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

s0fter-sin · 4 months

Text

soap and ghost, after months of flirting, of having each other’s backs and saving each other’s lives, of knowing the other better than they know themselves, finally getting together

ghost letting himself free fall onto the bed, soap following, always following his lead. they barely pull apart enough to get their shirts over their heads, hands running over muscles and scars and holding close

soap kisses every new scar that’s revealed to him, from the thick keloid divot over his ribs from some kind of puncture to the innumerable slashes and stitch wounds holding his torso together until he’s mouthing over his collarbones; the tips of his fingers lightly caressing the edges of his mask

ghost who’s been so quiet, so overwhelmed by soap’s touch that all he can do is sink into him, panting gasping breaths, finally pushes out, “don’t ask me. please…”

soap freezes, mouth hovering over his skin. “ghost…?”

ghost’s face is tilted away, eyes held so tightly shut they tremor while the rest of his body stays lax beneath his. desperate. resigned. “please don’t ask me, johnny.”

soap lets his hand fall from the mask, coming to run soothing circles over his clothed hip. “why?”

“because i’ll say yes,” he confesses and it’s great and terrible; a warning and a relinquishment laid at soap’s feet. “i’ll always say yes to you.”

for a long moment, there’s nothing but their shared breaths, nothing but their hearts beating for the other. until soap finally leans down to press a kiss to the corner of his hidden mouth; his lips meeting faint raised scar tissue he might never see

“i’ll never ask.”

ghost’s eyes drift open and they catch on soap’s; on a sea of promise and fierce protection

“i swear… i’ll never ask, ghost.”

#ghost who would take off his mask for johnny in a heartbeat and soap who would never let him take it off for anything but himself my belove #they proceed to have the softest most tender sex youve ever seen #im talking missionary chest to chest arms and legs wrapped so tightly all they can is rock #just god the love and the trust and the understanding #ghost knows hes not ready knows he would be violently uncomfortable the entire time #but would still put himself through it if thats what johnny wanted #and soap who would never ask him to sacrifice his comfort for something as insignificant as his own wants #like he would ever see that as a worthy reason #like he could ever find happiness in it knowing ghost was uncomfortable #he’ll spend the rest of his life showing ghost he doesnt need to compromise his comfort or his coping mechanisms for him #coming out of my cage and ive been soing just fine.txt #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #ghost x soap #we’re a team. ghost team #save post

637 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 8 months

Text

everyone makes fun of soap when they find out how many hair and skin products he keeps on hand. the cabinet in his bathroom is filled to bursting and he always keeps travel sized bottles on him on missions

when soldiers outside the 141 find out, they call him precious and self-obsessed, a vain pretty boy too preoccupied with his reflection to focus on the enemy. no wonder how he got his callsign. price has given up telling him to leave them on base and just teaches him to individually wrap them so they don’t rattle against each other and give himself away

what they don’t know is that each product contains an ingredient that when mixed with any number of the others, creates potent chemical bombs. he was caught unarmed once, he won’t let it happen again

#ghost picks it up when he watches him meticulously read the ingredients lists on the bottles when he goes shopping with him once #he knows enough about products to know that when you find one that works you keep using it #so hes confused when he sees soap put back a moisturiser hes certain hes seen in his little bag #he waits for him to leave the aisle and checks the bottle #which is when he sees the new and improved formula sticker on the back #he memorises the ingredients and when he checks the bottle in soaps room sure enough theres an ingredient missing #thats when he puts it together #it seems his little intro into guerrilla warfare had sparked some ideas in his sergeant #and hes so damn proud it takes him off guard for a second #he hadnt expected him to keep up with it not when hed rarely need the knowledge #but he is and hes doing it all on his own using his own expertise and forethought #the pride has to make room for a difference kind of warmth at the sheer competency on display in front of him #the next day he drops a new product with the missing ingredient on soaps head #the soldiers around them are shocked that hed indulge in soaps prissiness #hes the only that that sees the feral glint in soaps eye as he thanks him and starts going on about the benefits of looking after your skin #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #ghost x soap #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost mw2 #cod ghost #cod soap #soap mw2 #soap mactavish #cod mwii #call of duty #we’re a team. ghost team

5K notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 3 months

Text

“simon riley’s dead,” ghost chokes out; bitter resentment coating his tongue. “i’m just wearin’ ‘is corpse.”

mactavish doesn’t shy from his venom; sees through his hiss and doesn’t fear his rotten-fanged bite. he reaches out, pressing the flat of his hand to his breast and ghost damns himself for the way his breath catches; for the way his shoulders curl in around it in a silent plea for it to stay.

“that’s no drum in your chest,” he whispers defiantly.

his hand slowly drags over his chest, coming to rest over his sternum and he feels its possession like a brand against his skin.

“it ain’t bellows inflating your lungs,” he dares and he involuntarily inhales; his body longing to rise to his challenge.

mactavish pushes and he rocks back on his heels just to sway in closer; just to beg for the pressure to chase the phantom weight of six feet of dirt from his bones.

“you’re far from rigor mortis, riley,” he promises and there’s air at ghost’s back instead of decaying wood and infested flesh. “i won’t let the earth take you from me yet.”

1K notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 17 days

Text

i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing

and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him

he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)

meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh

just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap

soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”

imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”

#he a little confused but he got the spirit #its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right #or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it #i love just completely oblivious ghost #in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room #he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone #but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost #ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like #bc hes never seen a pussy before #it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to #hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say #then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis #but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes #and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

510 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 1 month

Text

something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line

“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”

“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"

but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.

he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.

his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.

ghost doesn't let him.

"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."

soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.

he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."

the ice in soap's eyes fractures.

ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.

“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”

#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him #but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister #but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him #hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that #so he has to balance it #and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory #if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all #reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders #and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead #only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface #he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity #instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order #and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back #and help him through the after #the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order #it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost #and its his touch that brings him back to the man #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #cod #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

943 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 7 days

Text

soapghost circus au

ghost’s an extreme motorcycle stunt performer - globe of death, riding on his back wheel along tightropes, that sort of thing

soap’s a fire breather/dancer. he’s a roaming performer; he just finds empty spaces or bored people and starts twirling

he pretends not to notice the way he always wanders towards a certain tent every night to watch a certain masked daredevil defy gravity. he thinks he's slick and that ghost won't notice him in the crowd, completely forgetting that he's carrying something that happens to be on fire

ghost couldn't miss him if he tried

one day off, soap's trialing fire whips; he loves the loud crack and the way the flame licks through the air and maybe he's a little too impatient to practice with non flaming whips first, even though he's never used one before

he's covered in soot and fine welts where the tip of the whip keeps flicking back up at him, cutting through his shirt and stinging his skin but he doesn't let that stop him. it starts to stick to him, damp with sweat and blood and he's quick to strip it off; throwing it to the side to keep practicing

when soap finally gets a few good cracks in a row and breaks to celebrate, he almost jumps out of his skin when he sees the masked rider leaning against a trailer watching him

of all the times he's wanted ghost to talk to him, this is not one of them

he wanted to impress him, dance for him with his flaming batons and be mesmerised by his fluidity and skill

not catch him filthy and struggling with something as basic as a whip

he's ready for ghost to ream him out for not having control over the whip - he's known throughout the circuit for expecting utter perfection in his routines - but when ghost finally does speak, it's only to ask if he's done for the day

soap falters for a moment. he wanted to get some consistency with the whip before he stopped, but he's starting to feel the hours of practice; muscles aching and skin blistered with minor burns

he says he is and ghost pushes off the trailer, nodding his head to make soap follow. he brings him back to his trailer and tells him to clean up then takes out his personal med kit to treat the grazes on soap's skin

soap's shocked; for all that he loves to watch ghost perform, they've never really talked before

part of why he joined the circus was so he wouldn't be a burden on anyone, the oldest in a family with too many mouths to feed and not even time to nurture, and here he is taking up ghost's valuable practice time be he wasn't good enough to handle his own discipline. he tries to brush him off, downplaying the burns and tries to leave before half them can be treated but ghost just glares and orders him to sit back down

ghost does expect perfection from himself but it isn’t out of any malice or ego; it's bc he knows if he isn't perfect, he could very easily die. he’s picked a dangerous profession and he gives it the respect it deserves. there isn't any shame in being a novice or failing at something; he thinks there's a lot of beauty in having the courage to get back up again and again

so every day he watches soap practice and bullies him into his trailer to put him back together bc he knows he won't do it by himself

and every night soap wanders over to ghost's section of the fair grounds, in awe of his skill and wishing he could be worthy of the care he gives him

#have i posted this before? yes but it has an actual idea behind it now #anyway back on my ‘soap pushes himself too hard to meet expectations only he is holding him to’ bullshit #price is obviously the ring master and id say gaz is probably trapeze #ghost used to work for robas circus who kept pushing him to do more and more dangerous stunts with less and less safety measures in place #and for a long time he thought thats how it was supposed to be #he was supposed to court death every night. supposed to limp back to his trailer and take care of his own injuries #and its only when price comes to one of his shows to scope out roba as competition and confronts him afterwards abt the conditions #that he realises something might be wrong #so seeing his past staring back at him in the form of soap hurts something deep within him and he has to make it right #he doesnt want soap to have to live with the same deep pains that he does #injuries that couldve been avoided if hed just gone easier on himself #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod

267 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 1 month

Text

you ever think about how it’s been over a year since we last saw aizawa, mic and their dead high school boyfriend

#bnha manga spoilers #like we finally got an aizawa panel but it was a flashback so it doesnt really count #but horikoshi really threw them into a teleporting abyss then went lol bye #we still dont know where they are or how much of shirakumo is present through kurogiri #also!! the gun!! that just never got mentioned again #mic probably still has it!! which means he could still be the one that has to kill kurogiri to free shirakumo #bc you know aizawa wont be able to do it #and he wont be able to use erasure to get through to him #am i putting off re watching the sports fest arc to figure out how to write mics commentary? maybe so #go beyond plus ultra #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #aizawa #eraserhead #present mic #kurogiri #oboro shirakumo #erasermic #erasercloudmic #mha #bnha

175 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 5 days

Text

vampire bats share mouthfuls of blood to other bats they’re close to if they weren’t able to feed and now i need old vampire!ghost sharing a bloody kiss with fledgling!soap, giving him mouthfuls of blood bc his fresh fangs are too sensitive to bite with

it’s been so long since he was turned that ghost’s forgotten the deep ache that comes with growing fangs and he almost worries when johnny goes to bite into the meal he’s brought him only to whimper and pull back; only the slightest pinpricks of a bite left in the man’s neck, barely enough to bring blood to the surface

it’s only when johnny whines and massages at his gums that ghost realises his oversight; crooning at his sweet mate in reassurance. he’s not upset that he couldn’t feed, at the unintentional rejection of his offering. he’ll make the pain stop

ghost pulls the man to his mouth and sinks in his fangs, sucking in a heavy mouthful and drops the now paralysed prey back to his feet; his throat steadily gushing with blood and spilling over his body

he cups johnny’s face, looking into his eyes, teary with pain and hunger, and purses his lips to carefully drip the blood into his mouth. the pain immediately vanishes from his eyes, replaced with pure bliss as he opens his mouth wide; curling his tongue to catch every drop. ghost presses his mouth to his in a hungry, blood-filled kiss; tongues twining together as they share the taste

johnny sucks the last of it from his lips and ghost guides him down to lap at the prey’s neck; licking up the blood he was too weak to draw himself. he’s ravenous with it, his whole face covered in red as he licks up the spill and suckles at ghost’s bite

ghost’s filled with an overwhelming pride at having provided for his mate in an even deeper way than just hunting for him. he spilled the blood johnny’s drinking; fed him in the most intimate way their kind knows and he’ll do it a hundred times over for his love

#pet peeve time i hate the vampire ‘licks a bite to stop it bleeding’ trope bc it biologically doesn’t make sense #if anything a vampire’s saliva would have an anticoagulant effect to /stop/ a bit from clotting so they can drink more #anyway back to bloody kisses lmao #thinking about the actual biological difference between humans and vampires and how much it would /hurt/ to grow a pair of fangs #like the human mouth isnt meant to have teeth that big or muscles strong enough to to support them #or the increased bite force they need #so not only are they growing new teeth theyre also growing bigger muscles and their mouths are having to adapt to them #that would cause so much pain #you ever grown in a wisdom tooth? it sucks and that nowhere near this level #on top of all that youre also starving and have an unquenchable need to feed #the intimacy of a sire feeding their fledgling from their own mouths #weaning them off their blood but still so dependent on them #and even after johnny can bite and feed on his own he still craves the closeness of being fed from ghosts mouth #and ghost never denies him #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team- ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

134 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 6 months

Text

it takes far too long for soap to realise ghost won’t touch him anymore

he doesn’t avoid him, which he considers no small a miracle given how he usually treats his emotions, and he’s too busy being thankful to notice. thankful he didn’t run from him, thankful his simon has returned to him, no matter how changed he is from the man he knew. ghost doesn’t shy away from his touch so long as he knows it’s coming and he spends long nights just tracing the scars on his newly bared face; following half-remembered tracks and memorising new ones

but ghost never reaches back. he’ll press into his hands like a starved man, melt beneath the smallest of touches but he never initiates. and now, his regular touches have disappeared; no longer does he clap him on the back after a job well done, doesn’t cheekily nudge him after making a recruit shit themself just by giving them a look and soap hadn’t realised how much he’s come to rely on them until they stopped. how much he’s grown to care for ghost the way he used to care for simon

he can’t confront him about it; ghost’s fight or flight always firmly tuned to flight when it came to matters about himself. soap would’ve if it meant fight; if ghost would just put his hands on him again, he’d take his violence with the passion of a lover, wear the marks he left behind with grateful pride. but he remembers the look on ghost’s face when he’d ripped his balaclava off, when he’d stripped his barrier and his protection and spat, “i ruined you the moment i touched you!”

so soap waits. he waits for ghost to crawl into his bunk, to take off his mask and surrender himself to his touch; a touch that seems to burn as much as it freed. and instead of taking his face in his hands and worshiping it the way he has every other night ghost’s come to him, soap takes his gloved hand in his own

ghost flinches, the preemptive bliss fading from his eyes as reluctant fear takes its place. soap brings it up so it hovers between them and already feels him edge backwards. he doesn’t let it stop him and gently tugs his fingers free of the glove one at a time until his hand is bare to him; visibly shaking in the dark. soap brings it towards his face, holding firm when ghost tries to yank it back and presses into it; his breath hitching as he finally gets the touch he’s missed for years

“stop, john,” ghost whispers and it hurts to hear the pain in his voice; closer to begging for the soft touch to end than he’s ever been under torture

“no,” he refuses, pressing a kiss to the centre of his palm

his eyes shine in the dark, arm twitching as he fights himself; pulling back against his grip and leaning into him in turn. (how can he stand to put his mouth on him; can’t he taste it? the dirt and decay that lives under his skin? the maggots that swim in the slow beat of his blood; the rot he’s been trying so hard not to spread to him but he’s weak.) “you don’t know how broken i am. i’ll ruin you, john.”

soap kisses him again; thick, phantom blood coating his lips. “i’m not letting you slip through my fingers again,” he promises, swallowing it down. “i’ve missed you too much to be afraid of getting cut, simon.”

207 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 9 days

Text

last thing i’ll say; people aren’t owed free content but creatives aren’t owed financial compensation either

#i say all this as a cretive btw lets head that off #their bottom line was ‘we want more money to make bigger things and we cant afford to so we want more money in order to do them’#and that is a valid desire #but you cant just expect everyone to go along with that just bc you want it #watcher got where they are due to a loyal viewer base #to reject money from corporations in favour of money from that viewer base? thats skeevy #to default to a complete and absolute paywall removing all your content then pretend that you weren't going to? thats skeevy #to make a countdown to an announcement then make the announcement a somber trip down memory lane #and an ‘if only we can make more stuff like this wink wink’? thats skeevy #and its skeevy bc theyre a company and no matter how personable they are companies are not your friend #are they the rich we should be eating? no #but when your ceo drives a tesla and eats expensive food that is written off as a buisness expense #AND you have a patreon that you dont capitalise on but still brings you on average 100k a month #you cant act like youre a hard done by creative #endevouring to make more elaborate creations is a good idea #monetisation is a good idea #absolute monetisation with no thought to an alternative isnt #name one indie artist that relies entirely on paid content ill wait #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #hey there demons it’s me ya boy #ghost files

66 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 4 months

Text

soapghost

#i love repressed ghost as much as anyone but i also love ‘thinks hes straight’ soap unknowingly getting a crush on out and proud ghost #and metalhead ghost??#punk soap and metalhead ghost???#fuck yeah gimme #ghost whos been in pits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out #he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out #kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or being creepy #and hes been keeping an eye on soap since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death #thinks hes either going to start something or end up hurting himself #and if he does he needs to know if he did it on purpose #he uses these places as an escape and he knows all to well how easily an escape can be self destructive #so when he sees him sweat his mohawk off he has no issues with pulling him out of the pit and telling him to open his mouth #at first the glaze the falls over his eyes concerns ghost #along with the colour of his tongue and gums he half thinks the guys about to drop #but when he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw soap shivers and he smirks #soaps dropping alright just in a completely different way #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod #we’re a team. ghost team #save post

122 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 6 months

Text

09 soapghost au, ghost was a member of soap’s unit before roba and they were together until he was taken. when he comes back and takes up the ghost mantle, simon riley is declared KIA and the hope that soap had let kindle in his heart that he’d come back to him dies. he throws himself into training, into becoming captain so he won’t let down another soldier the way he let simon down

then he recruits ghost to the 141 and ghost sees how much he’s changed, how much harder he is; slow to smile, never relaxing and he realises how much he fucked up by never reaching out. he’d thought he’d be better off without him, without the shell of the man he used to love but he’d done nothing but hurt him

after the close call with shepherd, soap wants to get right back into it, wants to hunt makarov down for almost getting his sergeant and lieutenant killed and ghost is yelling at him to just take it easy and heal first when soap snaps back, “i can’t lose anyone else! not again!” and ghost just rips his balaclava off, showing his face for the first time in years…

and soap says nothing. he just looks at him, completely unreadable. ghost clenches the balaclava in his hand, waiting for anything; even injured, soap can still pack a mean punch and he’s waiting for it, almost hoping for it… but he still does nothing. just stares

“well? c’mon!” he growls, stalking in closer. “let me have it! tell me how pissed you are! that i left you alone! that i ruined you the moment i touched you! that you regret ever fucking looking at me! scream, shout, say something!” until he’s leaning over soap’s chair, chest heaving

soap’s hand lifts and ghost can’t help his flinch before planting himself, ready to be struck, longing for it, to be punished the way he punishes himself-

soap’s hand gently cups his cheek and he freezes, breath catching as his thumb caresses the snake bite scars on his lip; feather-light and reverent. just like he used to

“you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you”

#i am not immune to the romantic scene of all time ft mr stoic how to train your dragon 2 #og soap is Young for a captain #like even if we arent given a canon age hes still like 30s maybe 40s if were pushing it #i dont know a lot about military shit but that seems young to me #so just soap who let himself become cold and focused everything on forcing himself to be better faster strong to protect everyone #until he finds himself as a captain of his own elite unit #handpicking men #and if he loses a single one it will be unequivocally his fault bc he chose them to be here #even ghost #this man that has no history beyond a few years of military service #no name no family even getting his blood type out of him was like pulling teeth #but sometimes #sometimes his complaints ring just a little too familiar #the way he holds himself tugging at his memory #even the way he idly flips a knife when waiting to be called in to interrogate someone #he doesnt dare to hope not when hope has never gotten him anywhere before #but then ghost takes the balaclava off and his walled off heart beats anew #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #talk to me ghost #soapghost #ghostsoap #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #soap cod #ghoap #09 soapghost #09 ghostsoap #save post

122 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 18 days

Text

it’s the sound that tips him off.

it’s late, half-past hell by his last count, and mactavish knows there shouldn’t be a single soul in the showers this time of night. though he’s sure if he asked, he’d be told a soul isn’t in there.

just a ghost.

he almost chokes on the thick steam filling the locker room; humid and hazy and the perfect cover. or it would be, if the man collapsed in the far stall cared about hiding.

mactavish hates himself a little for the low sigh that falls from his lips. he wishes he wasn't so disappointed; that the promises he's heard over and over and watched be broken as many times hadn't wedged their way into his heart and convinced him that maybe, maybe this could be the time it sticks.

he doesn't know what's worse; the disappointment or the lack of surprise.

he holds his breath through the steam and leans over the limp body; stinging hot water hitting his back, instantly soaking through his clothes and already starting to burn. he flicks the tap enough to take the bulk of the heat out and straightens; a groan startling out of the man beneath him at the sudden lash of tepid water.

mactavish crouches, knees clicking and hooks a hand under his bicep to pull him up straight against the wall. if there was any vomit on his skin, it's been washed away by the pelting stream and he supposes he can count himself lucky for that. he tilts his limp head back and slips his fingers into his mouth; holding down his tongue and ignores the way it lazily jolts under his fingers to check his airway.

clear.

another small victory.

mactavish pulls his fingers out and cups his chin, keeping him tilted up and moves in the way of the water again so he can pull at his eyelid.

the eye he's met with is cloudy, so dilated there's hardly a ring of blue left.

he sighs again; hand falling away and letting his eye fall shut. "god damnit, riley."

riley moans, all his weight resting on the hand holding his jaw.

"aye, 'm talking ‘bout you," he grunts tiredly.

he lets riley's head fall forward to grab his arm, pulling him away from the wall to sit behind him; propping his body up against his chest. he leans his head back over his shoulder, keeping his face out of the water and his airway open just in case he hasn't actually finished throwing up.

he takes the rag riley'd half-managed to soap up and mechanically runs it over him; cataloguing new bruises and cuts and checking if the old ones are healing. sickly yellow fingerprints ring his hips, red splotches paint his ribs; too new to have settled into the deep purple he knows they’ll become.

riley slowly makes more noise as he rubs life into his body; still lying limp against his front but his head's starting to roll restlessly on his shoulder. he swipes between his legs and carefully doesn't think a single thing about what he finds.

"sean?" he rasps and mactavish's hand stills; eyes falling shut. he bites his check, hand clenching around the rag tight enough to shake and breathes hard out his nose.

he doesn't say a word, just forces himself to go back to cleaning.

he's not sure what would come out of his mouth if he did.

riley isn't conscious enough to hear him anyway.

he runs his fingers over his inner elbows for tracks and manages to muster some relief when he doesn't find any. seems to be a pill and booze night; far from the worst condition he's found him in.

he rinses him off, running a curtesy hand over his shaved head only for it to fall back to his jaw; his thumb stroking over the thick scar carved into his cheek.

"you gotta stop doin' this," he whispers.

he isn’t sure if he’s talking to riley or himself.

mactavish gathers up riley's too-light body into his arms and turns off the shower. his head lolls into his throat and he throws a towel over his dripping body and another over his shoulder. it doesn't stop him from tracking water all the way to his quarters but he'd like to see someone try to put in a complaint about it.

he lays out the other towel on the bed and sets riley down; moving his body into the recovery position in an all-too familiar routine. he dries him enough that he won't soak the covers as he pulls them up to his chest and kicks the waste bin within grabbing distance of the bed.

he goes to pull off his sodden clothes when a different noise makes him freeze.

a low sniffle.

mactavish slowly turns back to the bed to find riley's eyes squinting open; glazed with tears as he kneads at the covers.

he stares at him for a moment as he looks around the room and those hazy eyes lock on him for the first time. "cap'n?"

he swallows. "aye; s'just me, riley."

his hand pokes out from under the covers and for all the promises he's made himself - all the “never again”s and “this is the last time”s - at the end of the day, he's weak.

he sits on the side of the bed and takes riley's hand in his; already so cold after nearly boiling himself alive.

"y' mad a' me?" he sniffs.

mactavish runs his tongue over his lip and slowly shakes his head. "no, i'm not mad at you."

"prom'se?" he pushes.

he reaches out and caresses his temple with his thumb. his hand almost covers his head and it cuts like a knife to remember just how small riley is. "aye," he says, hushed. "i promise."

riley's eyes fall shut, voicelessly murmuring 'promise’ to himself over and over.

"I’ll ge’ bett'r," he slurs and between one breath and the next, he's out.

mactavish sighs, running his hand in a final pass over his head and stares at a face that looks so much younger in sleep; bruised and sallow skin hidden in the shadows. "i know you will."

he presses a slow kiss to his forehead, shutting his eyes against the grief that wells in his heart and gets up to pull a chair over to the bed; settling in for another long night's vigil of watching his broken lieutenant sleep, ready to tilt him over if he throws up, eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of his chest fearing tonight may finally be the time it stops.

#drug use #tw drugs #guess whos back on her 09 shit #its me bb!!!#anyway 09 ghost who’s just completely messy #if he’s not on an op then he’s at clubs drinking & taking anything he can get his hands on #mactavish knows what he gets up to and hates it #hates watching him destroy himself stumbling back to base with no memory of what - or who - he’s done #hates seeing him prod at bruises knowing he has no idea where they came from #mactavish is more pissed that whoever riley was with just left him like that and that riley is totally fine with it happening #more than once he's found him almost od'ing half passed out in his room or the showers #and every time riley will slur out apologies and promises mactavish knows better to believe #riley knows how much it hurts mactavish to see him like this but its just so painful to live in his head #he can’t help but try and get out of it the only way he knows how #this is pre relationship btw just to make it all hurt a little more #ghost never remembers how he ends up back in his own bed after a bender #the whole point of them is to forget #he’ll end up missing days at a time and never question what happened to him in the meantime #if he thinks hard enough sometimes he can pick up flashes of a familiar voice rasping in his ear and big hands moving his body #but it’s hard for him to believe they’re anymore than drug induced hallucinations of what he really wants #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #talk to me ghost #we’re a team. ghost team #09 soapghost #09 ghoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod

57 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 4 months

Text

sometimes i think about how wild a mw2 movie would be if they just dropped soapghost right in the middle with no warning or marketing. like imagine it being beat for beat the exact same, it’s your typical military action movie, promoted as just another military action movie then after they get to the safe house, ghost has to patch up soap and he’s still out of it, overwhelmed by the betrayal and everything he’s seen and ghost needs to ground him and keep him in the present, to remind him that he’s alive and safe so he kisses him and they have sex. the tantrums and the rants and the “ReAl sOLdiErS aRen’t liKe ThAt”, god i can taste it and it’s delicious

#theres never any talk of a relationship or sexuality crisis its just this moment of humanity and comfort to bring soap back to himself #real any time you need me by thirteenbullets vibes #theyre not the type of men to have something as normal as a relationship #theyre just everything to each other they know that and its enough #ghost can be such a complex character if you let him #this guy whos rejected his humanity has buried himself and become a ghost #willingly digging himself out of the grave to stop soap from digging his own #like how are there not more explicitly homoerotic military movies that actually pull the trigger (heh) on the homo part of the eroticism #you know how if movies have even a hint of queerness they wring it out for every drop of respresentation they can get #theres a hundred articles and its mentioned in every interview and it all journalists ask those actors #imagine it being a complete secret and everyone expects just a typical action movie #then boom battle buddy gay sex #like if it were a male and fenale character you would see that scene coming a mile away so why cant it happen with two guys #just doing it is the only way of normalising it #i still see men saying they act like brothers which is denial so strong even egypt is impressed #but imagine the general public expecting this manly man military movie then getting hit with the alone mission flirting and denying it #then getting smacked in the face with tender wound care and grounding love making initiated by the edgelord they were using as a self inser #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #cod mw2 #we’re a team. ghost team

100 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 8 months

Text

ghost praised soap for every bottle he grabbed but when he tried to return the favour at the prison it was all, “keep it tactical, sergeant,” man really can’t handle praise

#it kinda hurts #ghost made sure to praise soap for every move he made along with his tips #he never shut him down or made him seem like a burden #but when their situation was reversed he told him to shut up and keep it tactical #when he was doing his job #what was expected of him #he rejected it #like he wasnt worthy of it #only when he actively showed off did he accept soaps praise #when he went beyond just following orders #how long has it been since he was genuinely praised that he rejects it so harshly but hands it out so easily #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #cod mw2 #call of duty #cod soap #cod ghost #we’re a team. ghost team

82 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 5 months

Text

reverse verse where soap takes on the mask instead of ghost. he wears his red skull mask so you can see the lower half of his face and his chin scar extends along his whole jaw to look like exposed teeth

#his chin scar is so gnarly and i think we gloss over it just a little too much #i like reverse verses but i think they can change just a little too much #like i wouldnt have soap act like ghost #if anything id have him act the same just more unhinged #hes still extroverted and will talk to people but people find him very unnerving #theres just this edge to everything he says and does that lets you know just bc hes being civil doesnt mean he wont rip your throat out #with his teeth #and hes just brutal in the field #preferring hand to hand wanting to get up close and bloody #very berkeresque where other soldiers learn not to go near him or interrupt him bc he cant always differentiate friend from foe #except for one deadpan brit who had a soldier’s eyes long before he ever joined the military #dour and depressing until he cracks a messed up joke and everyones shovked when they hear a scottish voice laugh #just soap who goes through roba and simon whos still ghost after living through his fathers abuse #just slightly less self isolating since he still has his family #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #we’re a team. ghost team

48 notes · View notes