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little-pondhead · 10 months

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DPxDC Prompt:

[this is a long one please forgive me]

Bruce lied to the others about his trip through time. Not all of it! Just…one specific thing.

During the early parts of his timeline hijinks, before Tim realized Bruce was still alive, he had a bit of a respite in between his endless time jumps. (Maybe a certain ghost was helping him out.) With a fuzzy memory at best and a strange itch to investigate the unknown, Bruce had been taken in by an old couple who had no kids but wanted to pass on the family name. And who better than a thirty-something amnesiac stranger who could actually be related by blood?

Bruce, with nowhere to go, accepted his new name, grew out his hair, and quickly got accepted into college for engineering. There, he met two of his closest friends; a redheaded woman who could kick his ass and a wet chicken of a man who could also kick his ass. They both made him nostalgic for something he didn’t remember, and that made him sad sometimes, but the two were always there to cheer him up.

Years passed, and Bruce’s life moved on. He settled well into his new name, mourned his parents when the eventually passed, celebrated his wedding with the redhead, and grieved when the last of their trio fell out of touch. He had a daughter, and then a son! They were both so smart, even if they didn’t share the same passion he had for exploring the science behind the afterlife. (Something about the dead just itched his brain in an infuriating way, and Bruce wasn’t one to let sleeping dogs lie. He just had to find out why he was so obsessed with this stuff!)

Eventually, his and his wife’s research yielded results, and that’s when bits of Bruce’s former life started coming back to him. After the portal opened, he spent his days with his head in a fog, oblivious to the world around him as he struggled to continue his work.

Why did he remember a boy named Dick? Who would name their child that? And Jason…who was Jason? That name always made him sad. There were more names, more faces, but none of them were his. He could never remember what his name was supposed to be. All he had was the one his adoptive parents gave him.

His wife was worried. His daughter was struggling. And his son…his son sometimes hurt to look at. Bruce didn’t know why. He knew he was being a terrible father, but something in him wanted to cry whenever he gazed at those clear blue eyes, just like his own. His son was too smart for his own good, and realized his dad had started avoiding him.

The day his son purposely left the room so Bruce could relax was one that hurt him even now.

Time kept passing, and Bruce was becoming anxious. His brain fog was as bad as its ever been. He had constant headaches, and his hands kept twitching for nonexistent tools on his belt. Something was going to happen. Something had happened. A voice in his head told him it was all his fault.

So in an attempt to clear his head and spend more time with his family, Bruce insisted they all go to dinner at the local diner. His son invited his friends. Even better! More people meant more distractions from his messed-up thoughts. He wouldn’t spiral with the kids around.

And then something exploded.

The last thing Bruce remembered was his son’s (green??) eyes widening in fear and horror as something yanked him violently backwards. He fell farther than expected, through a portal and a green sky full of black stars. A hand tightened on the back of his jumpsuit, hauling his giant body through another portal with a roar of a motorcycle.

And then…and then…and then what?

All of a sudden, Bruce was sprawled in some mud in the middle of a forest, dizzy and coughing from the explosion’s fumes. He’s singed all over, and his ears still rang from the force of the…what happened again?

Bruce sits up, and all of a sudden, he’s in the era of the pilgrims. His memory has been wiped clean, his new name and family forgotten thanks to the hands of time. His adventures through the time stream continue, with him assuming many different identities throughout many different decades.

The memories of being Jack Fenton don’t return to him until he’s back in 2004, once again in his own time and living as Bruce Wayne. A glowing green sticky note informs him that “The Nasty Burger Incident” had just occurred. His “other self” just had his ass dragged to another era, so the time loop would continue.

It also informed him that he had an orphaned son crying for him at Bruce’s own grave.

Well, his forgotten son (that sounded bad, even to him) was supposed to be about fourteen now, right? Bruce hopes he doesn’t have to fight anyone for custody.

#pondhead blurbs #danny phantom #dpxdc #writing prompt #‘Alfred get the Guy’#‘you haven’t even left the house today’#‘my dad senses are tingling and I may need to fistfight another billionaire so have the Other Guy on standby as well’#Bruce becomes Jack Fenton #he went to college and literally built a life for himself at the same time ‘Bruce Wayne’ existed #‘Jack’ just never watched the news #clockwork had to make sure Danny existed so guess what! you’re the son of the bat happy birthday #the nasty burger incident happens but in the two seconds it took to kill everyone #Johnny 13 dragged his ass to another era #he was ordered to by clockwork #I have zero clue how old Bruce was during his timeline shenanigans and idk when it took place either #just work with me on this #please I am begging you #he only got his memories back when the time matches up with Jack Fenton’s ‘death’#Danny loses his dad and then gets him back in the span of 24 hours but now his dad is a billionaire??#well he gets to watch Bruce fistfight Vlad for custody and then stop him from killing clockwork #cause how DARE Clockwork just make him FORGET an entire family he had???#morally grey clockwork #Danny is trying really hard not to become Dan and Bruce is trying really hard to explain this to his other kids #‘no this one is ACTUALLY mine’#‘yes I know I was a teen in Europe when the wedding would have happened’#again don’t know the dc timeline just work with me here #please don’t ask me to continue this I will cry #if someone else does I’d be happy to read it though :))

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goldenchan-fx2thepeacock · 3 years

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Don’t Go Running Off Into Danger, Even If I Do pt 4

Aight bitches, this’ll be the first chapter when the title starts to make sense. Dipper and Mabel are complete idiots and manage to get lost in the Ghost Zone trying to find Danny, who knows the place. Also, Tucker and Sam. I’m contemplating making one of them nonbinary, prolly Tucker. Yup. And Sam may or may not have she/they pronouns. I think that’s all. Enjoy my chaos.

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Chapter 4

Danny did not sleep. Skulker, Ember, Johnny and Kitty decided it would be a great idea to wreck havoc. Ghosts do need order. They said that they only did it because they have no leader. Danny suspected Clockwork was behind it, but he was too tired to string together much of a coherent thought. So, goodbye sleep schedule! He’d sleep in Lancer’s class. What was one more detention?

He greeted Sam and Tucker at the doors. The Pines Twins also showed up. “Danny, did you get a new girlfriend while we were away?” Sam joked. “Shutup. I’m not in the mood,” Danny grumbled. “Oh, it’s cranky pants!” Tucker laughed. They seemed to think his fucked up sleep schedule was a joke. “Don’t blame me, blame Skulker and Johnny,” “Those two usually have Kitty and Ember with them,” Sam said. She had a point. “Yeah, yeah. You know the gyst. Anyways, this is Mason and Mabel,” He gestured to the twins. “They accidentally caught me transforming. Also, we have to make a trip to the Ghost Zone,” “Call me Dipper!” “Once again, I’m not using your stupid nickname,” “Come on Danny, don’t be a dick,” Sam laughed. “Bold of you to assume I can be one,” Danny snorted. Tucker slung his arms over the other two. “Only you get to make trans jokes. And maybe not in earshot of Dash,” They pointed at the quarterback. “Eh. I’m the heir to the Ghost Throne. What can he do?” “You’re the what now?” Sam and Tucker yelled in unison. “Clockwork told me yesterday. Also, they’re immune to Time Outs,” “How is that possible?” Sam was confused. Danny didn’t blame them. “We had a run in with Bill Cipher,” Mabel said confidently. “Sounds boring. Why would the guy with powers be called Bill?” “You’re just salty because you got called InvisoBill,” Tucker comforted him. “I have half a mind to reveal myself to the entire school,” “Bill was extremely dangerous,” “Danger dorito!” Mabel chimed in. “You are not helping me take this seriously. Tucker, get off,” Danny shoved Tucker off. They were elbowing him in the ribs. “Oh come on, you know you like it. Mwah!” Tucker kissed Danny’s cheek. Danny became a tomato. “Hey! Not in front of the entire school!” He was completely gone. He’d been dating Tucker for about a month now. “You guys are dating?” Mabel looked heartbroken. What the fuck? “Uhh, yeah. Tucker’s into guys and I’m bi. But we’d prefer not to announce it to the entire school,” “You know what you should announce to the entire school? That you’re Danny Phantom. Only if you take the crown though,” Sam said. “I’m doing it. Jazz said it would be a good idea,” “We’ll need cover then. Dipper, Mabel, you get to guard the portal!” Sam said way too enthusiastically. “They’re new! They know nothing about it!” Danny protested. “Well, if it’s anything like Great Uncle Ford’s portal, we can handle it,” Mabel said. “That shut down the moment he walked out Mabel,” “My parents’ Ghost Portal has been going strong for two years!” Danny said. “And caused all of the madness in Amity. Never mind half killing you,” Sam said. “That was entirely your fault,” Danny replied. “I concede to that point,” Sam accepted her fate. “Good. Now, are you guys sure you can handle this?” Danny was skeptical. “Yup!” Mason and Mabel said.

Sleeping in Lancer’s class was a one way ticket to detention. But what did that matter? At lunch, he ran up to the stage in the caf and transformed in front of the entire school. “FENTON IS PHANTOM?” “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?” “I’VE BEEN CRUSHING ON NERD BOY?” Ah, Paulina. “Anywho, now that you’re all done panicking, yeah, it’s true. Tell whoever the fuck you want. I’m tired of lies and secrets. Also, I’m trans!” He flew off. He had to deal with a ghost. Val caught up with him before long. “Are you a complete idiot?!” “Yup. But hey, who gives a fuck. Wes might get a kick out of it,” “You’re going to get yourself killed!” “Been there done that Val,” “Why?!” “Turns out I’m the heir to the Ghost Throne. Who the fuck is gonna mess with the all powerful Ghost King?” “You aren’t yet!” “I will be by the time school is over. Clockwork told me he’d help me out if I needed it,” The GAV came up under him. “DANIEL FENTON! GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!” His mom yelled. “Nah, I’m good. You know, I’m surprised you didn’t notice your own son DIED,” “Danny, don’t be like that,” “Don’t be like what Dad? Don’t be dead? Don’t protect Amity from ghosts? Oh! I’ll do you one better, don’t panic when you scream that you’ll rip me apart molecule by molecule? Now if you don’t mind, I didn’t sleep last night and the Box Ghost is back,” He rushed into the fight before they could see the tears. “Danny!” He heard his mother howl in anguish. “Hey bub. Fought you yesterday. I’m seriously not in the mood for a fight, so get in the fucking thermos!” He held out the thermos. “BEWARE!” “SHUT UP!” He yelled and became invisible. “Danny, we know you’re there,” Mom said. “SO?! You know, I kinda hoped you would notice, but only Wes was smart enough to notice. I spent two years hiding. Now, I’ve got a Crown of Fire I need to take,” He sped off. There wasn’t gonna be more hiding. “Wait, like Pariah Dark? Danny, that will corrupt your mind!” “Like being a half ghost has done? Oh, and just FYI, Vlad is half ghost too. Remember Plasmius? Vlad. Have fun!” He sped off for real this time. “Vladdie’s a ghost?” Dad looked baffled. Danny sped past the school and grabbed the group. “Was that really the best way to go about that?” Sam said. “You’re going to be all over the news!” Tucker screamed. “Meh. I was already. At least I’m not public enemy one anymore!” He dropped the Twins and sped into the portal. Sam and Tucker had put on the Fenton Phones already. “Wes is having a field day,” Sam panted. “Figured he would. Let’s go in,” They walked into Pariah’s Keep.“CLOCKWORK!” “Ah, I see you made the desicion to come,” “Yup. Does there need to be a ceremony or something? Cause I just announced my identity to the entire school,” “Like a fucking dumbass,” Tucker muttered. “Bold of you to assume I could be anything but,” “Sorry Tuck, Danny’s right,” “Yay! I can be right for once! Take that Jazz!” “About your dumbassery,” Tucker groaned. “Semantics. Let’s do this,” “You just need to place the crown atop your head, then place the ring on your hand. Right hand, ring finger,” “Does it have to be just like that?” “Bad things happen if you do it any other way,” “Okay,” He sighed and did as told. He shivered as the crown became ice and a black billowing cape came off his shoulders. “Weird,” “Dude, you’re the Ghost King!” Tucker screamed. “Ahh! Advanced hearing! Where’d that come from?” Danny covered his ears. “When you become king, all of your existing abilities become amplified and you gain new ones,” “Oh yay. More powers to master,” “Okay, this is great and all, but what does he do now?” Sam said. “My ears,” Danny cried. “Sorry,” She whispered. “Your eyesight will also be advanced. You won’t notice it much here, but in the human world, it will become obvious,” “And painful to adjust to,” Danny muttered. “Brrr. Danny, it’s freezing,” Tucker shivered. “If I was bad at controlling that before, you think I can now?” “Sorry dude. Let’s head back,” “I need to tell the people my first rule real quick,” “What’s that?” “Don’t wreak havoc in the human world. They can still go, but don’t do anything that endangers the humans,” “Huh. Good plan,” Sam shivered. “You sure you can’t control that?” “I’m doing what I normally do to fix it times 10!” “So it could be colder?” Tucker shivered. “Go home and get jackets,” Danny sighed. He pointed and a portal opened. “The fuck?!” “Congrats dude, you can make portals!” Tucker clapped. “At least we won’t have to use the Fenton one anymore,” Sam shivered into her shirt. Danny concentrated and made portals directly into their houses. He grinned.

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Dipper and Mabel heard footsteps coming into the basement and had no place to hide, so they jumped into the portal. The place was terrifying. “Mabel, this is freaky,” Dipper shivered. It was oddly cold. “You think Grunkle Ford felt this way when he travelled through dimensions?” “Not that he told me,” They both shivered. A strange vehicle came rushing past. “Was it always this cold in here Mads?” Jack Fenton said. “Not that I remember,” She shivered. The temperature fluctuated randomly. “He’s in here somewhere!” Jack exclaimed and sped off. “That’s Danny’s parents! We gotta find him!” They followed the strange machine.

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Sam and Tucker took five minutes to get jackets. He’d managed to grab Jazz in the mean time. “Hoodie. I’m not wearing the stupid jumpsuit with this cape,” “Since when do you have a fashion sense?” Sam laughed. “Since never. I just like the hoodie more,” He pulled the hood up. The temperature went up. “Hey! That’s neat,” It went down again. “Heh,” “Don’t get excited until you figure this out better,” Tucker groaned. “Deal,” He laughed nervously. “Okay, how do I get them all to come here? I’m not the greatest at this,” “Just yell announcement. That usually makes them teleport directly here,” Clockwork said. Danny obliged. His voice was really loud. “I guess that’s another one to add to the list,” He chuckled. All the ghosts in the Zone teleported to his feet. They grumbled. “Uh, hi guys. I’m not very good at this royalty thing, so I’m only gonna really give you one new rule. I’ll get rid of all the stupid rules later. Just, uh, don’t wreak havoc in the human world. Don’t endanger humans. Like, you can still go, but avoid being dangerous,” “King Phantom, are you sure that’s the best plan? You are going to enforce rules that protect us from the humans too, aren’t you?” Dora’s voice rang through. “Oh shit. The whole guys in white incident a while back. Yeah, I’ll come up with something,” He rubbed his temples. “Also, can I get some help learning how to make it less freezing all the time?” “Of course Great One. The people of the Far Frozen would love to help,” Frostbite said. “Thanks Frostbite?” He grinned. At least until he saw the Spectre Speeder pull up. Fuck. “Look at all these ghosts! I’ve gotta catch a few!” His dad yelled. The ghosts looked terrified. “Hey! You aren’t going to do that! HOW DARE YOU?!” Danny sped down to the Speeder. “Danny, I can’t believe you aren’t trying to capture these ghosts for science!” Jack said. The world became very, very cold. “These are sentient people that you just decided to barge in on! You’re always like this! And it’s my job to protect them just as much as I protected you! GET OUT OF THE ZONE NOW!” He screamed. “Danny, calm down. We just want to help you,” “No you don’t. I won’t let you endanger ghosts for ‘science’. It’s cruel and wrong. Would you do that to a human?” “Of course not. But ghosts aren’t sentient. Their emotions aren’t real. Just displays put on to convince you that they have them,” “HOW. DARE. YOU! You have no right to barge in here and threaten these people. Some of them may have harmed you, but the way you act like they’re nothing, like they aren’t standing here right now, is horrible. This is Frostbite,” He grabbed Frostbite. “ He leads a stable society in the Far Frozen. He’s never left the Ghost Zone and never once harmed me. You know what the first thing he did when he met me? He gave me a hug. And you would torture him just for being a ghost. You think you know everything, but you know NOTHING! LEAVE NOW!” “Danny, is this really how you feel?” Maddie looked sad. “Get. Out. I’m destroying the portal on your way out. If I EVER find you back here, I will not hesitate to cause harm,” “The crown’s already begun to corrupt you!” Jack protested. “No, my views haven’t changed. You hurt ghosts. You hurt me! I’m trying my hardest all the time all you care about is your beliefs,” “They’re true!” “No, most of them aren’t. You don’t even bother talking to a ghost. Ghost have feelings, feel pain, have a society. Maybe it’s different than what you’re used to, but that doesn’t invalidate it,” Danny sighed again. “Just leave,” He turned around and flew back up to the chunk of land. “Danny...” “DIDN’T HEAR ME?! LEAVE!” He whipped around and yelled.

Sam, Tucker and Jazz followed him into the castle. He stared at Pariah’s sarcophagus. “Danny, I know that was difficult, but you were right to do it,” Jazz put her hands on his shoulders. He must’ve been freezing. “They really don’t listen. I have no clue what I’m doing, but I do know that the ghosts have a right to my protection,” He heard screaming. “You know what’s weird? If I close my eyes tight enough, I can see all over the Zone. And I think the Twins got lost in here,” “Let’s go get them,”

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The Fentons came rushing past again. They didn’t seem to have Danny though. “I can’t believe he’s protecting ghosts!” Maddie sobbed. “He’s gonna destroy our life’s work!” “I know,” All of a sudden, Danny appeared before them. “Hey guys. Get lost?” He smiled. The crown floating above his head serving as a daunting reminder. “Yeah, we were trying to find you to warn you about your parents,” “I dealt with them,” The temperature fluctuated again. “Sorry, my hands are cold. But you need to get home,” He opened a portal and they flew threw it. He teleported away.

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He went down to the basement and destroyed the portal. His parents looked mortified. “Finally. I won’t be constantly reminded how I died,” He sighed. Maddie and Jack said nothing. “Humph,” He teleported away and made a portal back to the Zone.

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Aight. That do be a chapter bitches. I’ll make a tag for it now. Just the acrynom, but meh.

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phantomphangphucker · 4 years

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The Whole Ass Fic A.K.A ClockWork Is Paying At Least One Person Hush Money

Vlad’s dumbest plot yet leads to a grade A gravy bowl of a dumb reveal. Danny’s class feels left out, Wes is literally left out, and ClockWork is forcing me to not leave them out at gunpoint.

Now that y’all have voted, I present to you, the Whole Ass Fic

Danny was having a nice day, he honest to the Core was. But then a blue portal half fucking blinded him, a startled Mr. Lancer accidentally threw a whiteboard marker into his eye, and Dash finally succeeded in hitting him -in the eye of all places, ugh- with a spitball. All of this followed by a -probably not quiet- mutter of, “ClockWork end me”. In short, he had already filled his quota for ocular trauma today.

But looking to the front as a -very not cheesetastic- certain someone stops monologuing, he’s experiencing a-whole-ass-nother kind of ocular trauma.

Danny gets up from his desk and slowly walks up to the front, eyes filled with disappointment and the residual energy of his three breakfast Red Bulls, “okay, so you’re telling me-”, Danny gestures erratically to Vlad, who's tied up on the floor and in ghost form, “-that you overshadowed ClockWork-”, gesturing even more erratically at ClockWork -who’s just sitting on a desk and inspecting their nails- but Danny maintains wide-eyed eye-contact with Vlad instead of attempting down the rabbit hole of why ClockWork is still here. Glaring at floor Vlad harder, somehow, “-so you could travel to the future, to team up with your future self and bring him back here-”, Danny points both hands at the floor a bit aggressively, “-so you could tag-team pulverise a teenager-”.

While Vlad rolls his eyes, not even slightly apologetic or willing to admit that throwing fists with teens being his number one past time was arguably pathetic. Danny gestures at the future Vlad, who’s glaring bloody murder at normal timeline floor Vlad, “-but said future you instead assaulted ClockWork”, facepalming and muttering into his hand, “least I know this future you really is you, being enough up his own ass to even consider attempting to do that”, looking back to floor Vlad, “so you used ClockWork’s powers at random and just came back to this timeline?”.

Kwan adds in, “through the ceiling”.

ClockWork smirks, “he got quite lucky in that regard. Not quite luck though”, Danny sighs exasperatedly at ClockWork when they wink with a smirk. Anything involving ClockWork required a lack of luck, not a wealth of it; that, or making a collection of the stupidest decisions you’ve ever made. Considering floor Vlad’s state of looking like an extra for a truly terrible Vampire BDSM film, Danny’s going with the latter.

Floor Vlad manages to spit out his gag, “well they somehow tossed me out of their body immediately after! I mean the audacity! And this Cheesehead-”, jerkily attempting to nod or point at the scruffy-looking future Vlad, “-gets more pissed and assaults me, ME! Instead of you”.

Future Vlad kicks him and snarls, “it’s been two years in this timeline! TWO! I stopped with the stupid fiddlediddling after six months!”, turning his head to the side and mumbling, “sure everyone close to him had to die first, but that’s a moot point”.

Dash snorts, “why would a ghost even want to assault Fentit. And wait, what? People died?”.

Danny meanwhile, throws his hands out to the side, “of course that happened!”, then gesturing towards ClockWork, “you can’t overshadow ClockWork, that’s not even possible! They literally had to have allowed you to”, actually turning to glare slightly at ClockWork, “why, I haven’t a shot-glass of pennies close to a clue”. Danny then blinks and slowly looks at the future Vlad, his words finally registering; while Danny also simultaneously massacres his last brain cell, “wait....you’re that Vlad? As in the one that technically murdered me? The one that sort of caused the near extinction of humanity and ghosts? The one that basically saw the big red ‘DO NOT PUSH, THIS IS A STUPID IDEA’ button, slammed your fist on it, and activated the apocalypse? The one that stabbed past me when I tried to fix the future? Sure I requested it, but ya still did it”.

Mr. Lancer, who had been progressively going more wide-eyed, “Crime and Punishment?!?!?! I mean, go off I guess”.

While Danny scratches his head nonchalantly, muttering more to himself, “also the one that gave me any faith in past you ever being capable of being good”.

Floor Vlad sputters, wiggling in his bindings like a worm, “how is murdering you what it takes to make you have even an ounce of faith in me?!?”, floor Vlad looks to future Vlad, “you can’t judge me, you fudge-bucket of a hypocrite”.

Danny rolls his eyes and snorts, “that’s not even pot calling kettle black, that’s a wad of chewed gum calling a fork an unchewed stick of gum, and actually expecting that insult to stick”. Danny then squints and turns to ClockWork, “wait”, pointing emphatically at future Vlad, “how does he even exist?!?!? That future was literally destroyed?!?”.

Future Vlad squints at him, looking affronted, “you mean you destroyed my existence too?!?”.

Danny turns to him and waves his hands around wildly, “THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU UNRAVEL TEN YEARS OF TIME! THOSE THINGS AND PEOPLE GO POOF!”.

ClockWork sticks up a finger, “that’s not how time works”.

Danny and both Vlads’ turn to them, both Danny and future Vlad pointing aggressively, “YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU!”.

Nathan mutters, “or the rest of the class apparently”.

ClockWork smirks, “pretty sure the author disagrees on that one”. Everyone squints at them but goes back to bickering. Future Vlad points a little aggressively at Danny, “you were just supposed to fix the past! Not obliterate me!”.

Danny throws his hands up, “sacrifices had to be made! That’s what good guys do!”, gesturing at floor Vlad, “plus! You’re still here! And still A CRAZED UP FRUITLOOPY DICK!”.

Floor Vlad, looking a bit insulted, “language my boy”. Danny just looks down at him and knocks one of the desks on him; some kids water bottle -who the heck uses glass water bottles? Seriously?- smashing apart all over his face.

Future Vlad pinches his nose and gestures at floor Vlad, looking at Danny, “that’s because he hasn’t been horribly traumatised....yet”.

Floor Vlad sputters, “yet?”, before scrunching up his face and licking his cheek, “is this vodka?”.

Future Vlad glares down at him, “you don’t know suffering”, getting into floor Vlad’s face a little and shaking his finger violently, “you don’t know the meaning of the word”, while Danny mutters, “neither do you, by the way”, future Vlad keeps talking, “and you really think you can collect all these stupid cheese curd plots and not turn yourself into curdled milk?”.

Floor Vlad rolls his eyes, “says the murderer”.

Danny rolls his eyes almost in sync with floor Vlad’s eye-roll, “oh like you haven’t killed anyone”.

Mr. Lancer coughs, “um? There are other people here you know. And some of us don’t appreciate casually talking about murder at-”, glancing at his watch, “-nine a.m. in the morning”.

Floor Vlad glances at him, “no one but us and dear Maddie qualify as people”.

Danny sputters incredulously while ClockWork points at floor Vlad, “and that is not how classifications of species and words work”. No one so much as acknowledges the arguably most power-being ever this time.

Floor Vlad looks back to future Vlad, “and Daniel’s the one that messes everything up. Not me!”, glaring at Danny and muttering, “I would have had a perfectly viable clone otherwise”.

Future Vlad shakes his head and gestures aggressively, “you cloned him?!?!?!”, throwing his hands up and walking around, “this me’s insane! Wonderful!”.

Valerie snickers into her hand, “I want to get involved but...”, before gaping and sputtering incoherently to herself about Dani.

Danny snorts, “you hadn’t already figured that out when he decided to abduct and control the body of the dude who controls time itself and oversees everyone’s futures. A literal living legend and basically a god?”, shrugging and sounding nonchalant, “and yeah, technically we have a kid now. My genetics, but Vlad made her. So technically, we’re both her parents”, kicking floor Vlad, “I should sue you for child support”.

ClockWork nods, “and you would win actually”.

Danny looks tickled green, while floor Vlad shouts dramatically, “WHAT!?!?!?”. Future Vlad is just walking in a circle throwing his hands out randomly and making faces.

Dash mutters, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but, the damn twinks life would make a great soap opera”. ClockWork smirks ever so slightly at this.

Floor Vlad screws up his face and wiggles in the bindings some before squinting at Danny, “wait a biscuit buttering second, how do you even know about the ghost from the clocktower?”, sputtering and squirming, “how do you know their name?!? Even I didn’t! And you know their powers! Daniel what in the name of Gouda?!?”.

Danny deadpans, “oh don’t you use that tone with me, mister. You’re not my father”. While ClockWork smirks, “my name was actually the first thing he said, you just conveniently ignored that for plot purposes”.

Danny just speaks right over them and gestures at ClockWork, “and of course I do! They’re my Time Daddy!”.

Everyone goes silent immediately and you could hear a pin drop. Instead, a different voice breaks the silence, “wow! Didn’t know you had another dad, son!”.

Both halfas and the ex-halfa turn slowly and look at the doorway, where one Jack Fenton is standing and munching on fudge like he’s engrossed in an intense tv show.

Danny blinks and sputters, “how long have you been there?”.

ClockWork smirks, “since almost the beginning of this fic”. Danny glances at them, “that doesn’t make sense”. ClockWork shrugs, “well the audience might appreciate knowing, and I aim to please”.

Danny speaks thick with enough sarcasm to kill a lesser being twice over, and as if to prove this point floor Vlad starts hacking like someone force-fed him nails, “oH yEaH tHiS hAs BeEn A rEeEeEaAaAaLlLlL pLeAsUrE”, before squinting, “...what audience?”.

Star slams her face into her desk, “oh my Zone, seriously?”.

While Jack pipes up, “since Danno repeated vampire Vlad’s story back to everyone with so much disbelief I really couldn’t bring myself to interrupt”, standing and practically throwing the plate of fudge -having forgotten he even had it- when he throws his hands out to the side.

Mr. Lancer sighs and speaks as the fudge slowly smears down the classroom wall, “this was not in my job description, but thanks for the reminder why I don’t moonlight as a babysitter anymore”.

Jack, sounding way too happy for this situation and oddly not looking angry or even bothered, “and I��ve never heard my boy so passionate before!”, tapping his chin and looking at the two Vlads’, “though I do have to say. What the fuck is wrong with you V-man”.

Danny grumbles, “welcome to the life of having a half-ghost, who’s three nuts short of a fruitcake, that wants to aggressively be your uncle and/or father”, before sputtering incoherently over his dad swearing.

Jack tilts his head, looking like a confused puppy, “but, I’m your dad?”, quirking an eyebrow at ClockWork, “one of your dads?”. ClockWork looks like they just got blessed by a god... a god other than themselves anyway.

While Danny stares down at the floor unsure if he should feel deep horror or boyish wonder. Muttering, “did I just result in ClockWork getting adopted into my family through arguably convoluted and highly illogical means?”.

ClockWork makes a face that is the closest thing to insulted Danny’s actually seen on their face, “it was my belief we were already kin”.

Danny sputters and waves his hands around erratically, trying desperately to back-pedal, “what, I, er, no, I mean yes! Yes! Totally fam!”.

Valerie can’t help but let out her inner gossip rich girl mode, “ooooooooooo, someone’s in trooooouuuubbbbllllleeee”.

Floor Vlad sputters in utter disbelief, it was he that was supposed to be gaining new family members here! Not that oversized puff pastry! “This, that, THIS IS NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO!”.

Future Vlad blinks at Jack, “why are you not freaking out over the ghosts?”.

Star sighs, “are they really just ignoring that none of us have been freaking out?”.

Jack shrugs, “one’s tied up and the other gave me fudge”. Floor Vlad just shrieks in frustration and disbelief. While Danny gives a dramatic thumbs up to ClockWork, even going so far as to use a little ecto-energy to make his thumb sparkle like some anime bullshit.

Future Vlad kicks floor Vlad but speaks to Jack, “well if it’s anything, I’m not a ghost or half of one”.

Multiple people mutter, “half ghosts are a thing?”, while Valerie grins like a loon.

Floor Vlad shrieking, “WHAT?!?!?!”.

Future Vlad looks down at him but points at Danny, “he ripped out and ate Plasmius”.

Mr. Lancer grimaces and has to physically restrain himself from assaulting Kwan when he actually sticks his hand up and asks, “what’d that taste like? You know, for reasons”. No one’s honestly surprised at this point, when the bickering guys’ just act like the entire class are just extras added in after the main plot was established and without the main casts knowledge.

Danny blinks and gestures wildly at his dad, “are we just ignoring the uniformed third partly?!?”.

Mr. Lancer glares, “the class has been here the entire time”.

ClockWork smirks, “Vlad’s the authors' bitch right now so...yes”.

While floor Vlad gapes at Danny, “YOU DID WHAT NOW?!?!?”.

Danny throws his hands up exaggeratedly, “NOT IN THIS TIMELINE!”. While Vlad just quietly sputters about how Daniel could and even would, apparently, eat him. Danny has to severely resist spewing out a list of vore jokes at this. While ClockWork mutters with a smirk, about how the only reasons Danny’s not doing that is because the author’s tired of their phone crashing every time they try to write them.

Future Vlad points aggressively at floor Vlad, “we were the ones who thought ripping out his humanity would be a good idea!”.

Jack adds in some side commentary, “yeah, please don’t do that to my son”.

Floor Vlad mutters at the floor, “I need some bloody scotch”, before looking up at future Vlad and shouting, “WHY WOULD I DO THAT!”.

ClockWork points at floor Vlad, “the vodka hasn’t totally evaporated off your face yet, so you’ve got options. I have no pity for you”.

Floor Vlad glares at them, “I have standards”.

Half the class saying, “you sure about that?”.

Danny and future Vlad respond to floor Vlad in unison, with matching deadpan tones and judgmental facial expressions, “because, for all accounts and purposes, you are a sociopath”.

ClockWork sticks a finger up, “this is not how psychological diagnosis works”, gesturing at the class, “for one, patient confidentiality is a basic prerequisite, not an option”.

Nathan makes a mocked delighted gasp, “did we just get acknowledged?”. While Danny and future Vlad share a look tm.

Floor Vlad sneers, “rather that over an overgrown oaf, a self-sacrificial fool, a weak old man, or whatever is up with the time ghost”.

Danny glares while future Vlad socks floor Vlad in the face for that. Danny off-handed commenting, “‘Observant puppet’ is really the only insult that applies”, looking at ClockWork, “why aren’t the eyeballs up in a tissy about this anyway?”.

ClockWork smirks, “the author has decided they no longer exist”.

Danny blinks, “what kind of power does this ‘author’ have????”.

ClockWork mutters ominously, “the ability to outrun writers' block...for now”.

Danny ignores ClockWork out of slight horror and feeling like someone’s threatening him with another? dissection fic if he doesn’t stop encouraging ClockWork to derail the plot. Turning his attention to the two Vlads’ just in time to catch Valerie getting up and smacking both Vlads’ over the head, which just turns into an all-out fistfight. Well okay, floor Vlad is just squirming in his bindings and kicking like a feral rabbit, but still.

Valerie steps back and nudges Danny with a wily smirk, “who you wanna bet on to win?”.

Danny snorts, “future Vlad, based on sheer tenacity”.

ClockWork smirks and points a finger at the ceiling, “that’s my bet”, another portal opening up and yet another Vlad falling through and landing on the two others in a heap; knocking all three out, floor Vlad finally transforming back human. Danny looks to them, “the fuck is wrong with you?”.

While Maddie’s voice mutters from the doorway, “oh my Zone, Vlad?!?!”. Standing next to her is yet another interviewer from Genius Magazine: For Women Geniuses, By Women Geniuses; who slowly lifts up her phone and snaps a photo, while patting the pocket where her recorder is.

The next day Danny inexplicably gets pelted in the face -which, coming full circle, predictably stabs him in the eye in the process- by a magazine as soon as he steps through Mr. Lancer’s classroom doorway. Danny just lets it flop onto the floor unceremoniously, due to his veins being clean out of the consciousness juice that was Red Bull and thus incapable of caring about those pesky things called reflexes.

Danny sighs down at the abused magazine while slowly and dramatically covering his right eye. Sighing even louder at the cover somehow making everyone but the Vlads’ look kinda hot and ClockWork just being a black hole with a wicked grin -how they still seemed visually attractive is beyond Danny’s comprehension. The title reading ‘[REDACTED] Ghosts, Time Travel, And Illegal Cloning. Oh My!’, with the wonderful subtitle of ‘What Happens When Science Grows Fangs!’, and the sub-subtitle of ‘See Some Scientific Sin!’.

Danny’s sure the ‘[REDACTED]’ has something to do with ClockWork and them messing with an entire companies autocorrect function, but he decidedly doesn’t want to know.

Wes kicking in the classroom door seconds later only to pelt Danny with yet another copy of the magazine and shriek, “WHY!?!?!?! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?!?!”.

Danny looks down at the magazine, which magically opened up to the page with the article when it landed, and snorts. It looked like someone had applied ‘[REDACTED]’ on the paper very liberally and with a pepper grinder. Danny then slowly turns and points at Wes with a massive shit-eating grin, “that’s what you get for being weak enough to fall victim to flu season. Sleepy sniffling sleuths earn no secrets”.

At this, the whole class laughs like they’re just a laugh track and an edited in fake audience.

END.

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