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thatguy-thisguy-yourguy · 2 years

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A Clerks Sleepover And How I Think That Would Go

Elias is the first one to fall asleep, the poor sap. He may never be able to wash the Sharpie dicks off his face for as long as he lives. Thank Randal for that. I think that if he ever got the single testicle to do something back, it'd be like putting that Lord of The Rings necklace he wears on him and being like "hehehe guess you do like The Rings."

Jay would absolutely get in on the dick drawing, drawing them on anything that moves. Sleep? Go to the bathroom? Invested in the movie? Calling your mother to see if she's okay in the hospital? Rookie move. You just got a dick on your face. Or anywhere. ANYWHERE. Cars, walls, the ceiling.

However, if Silent Bob were to fall asleep, Jay would manage to wake him up repeatedly by yelling at anyone that's too close, that he will "Fuck their shit up if they even think about dicking Silent Bob."

This all takes place in Dante's home. He wasn't invited.

#clerks1994 #clerks #clerks animated #clerks2 #clerks2006 #jay and silent bob #randal graves #view askewniverse #kevin smith #clerks 3 #headcanons #view askew headcanons #va headcanons #headcanon #dante hicks

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thatguy-thisguy-yourguy · 2 years

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Musicians/Bands I Think View Askew Characters Would be Into

Dante Hicks-Andrew Bird, Nirvana, Beastie Boys, Joyner Lucas, unironically listens to 1-800 by logic, Cage the Elephant, Talking Heads

Randal Graves-Butthole Surfers, Pink Floyd, Limp Bizkit, King Diamond(canon), Slayer, Dead Kennedys, My Big Ten Inch by Bullmoose Jackson, Ghostbusters Theme by Ray Parker Jr., Rob Zombie , Misfits, Korn

Jay-Tyler The Creator, Slayer(canon), Primus, Limp Bizkit, Beastie Boys, Death Grips, Steppenwolf, My Chemical Romance, The Time(canon), Fleetwood Mac, Michael Jackson, Insane Clown Posse, Love Potion #9 by The Coasters, Suicidal Tendencies, Elvira, Exodus

Silent Bob-Candlebox, Shinedown, Gorillaz, Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, Metallica, Jefferson Airplane, System Of A Down, Powerman 5000

Brodie Bruce-Green Day, Weezer, Carseat Headrest, DEVO, blink-182, The Offspring, The Presidents of The United States, Destructo Disk

#mallrats #clerks #clerks2 #clerks1994 #clerks2006 #clerks animated #jay and silent bob #randal graves #kevin smith #view askewniverse #dante hicks #brodie bruce #VA headcanons #view askew headcanons #projecting #randal graves headcanon #dante hicks headcanon

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thatguy-thisguy-yourguy · 2 years

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I MEANT LIKE DANTE AND RANDAL DATING EACH OTHER I’M SORRYJDHSJD BUT YES THOSE ARE SO GOOD

OOOOOOOOOO

Nothing changes

I mean mostly nothing, I think Randal would step up and do things just a little because that's His Boyfriend

If they lived together, or even just visited(which i assume they've been in each other's houses?? why did i say that) there is no romantic cuddling. They go home and practically death drop unto each other

Dante is the snoooree mimimimimi-er, Randal is the HOOOOONK SHOOOO-er

I don't think they're into wearing each other's clothes or anything like that, but Randal probably takes Dante's glasses just to piss him off.

No PDA or anything, you'd never guess they were together

HOWEVER, they probably say some crazy shit to fluster one another, it's like a game. Nothing out right obvious, but subtle things only the other would know. Like chicken!

Their relationship I feel is like that one Reddit post of the two guys that got together because they played gay chicken

Sorry it's short man, I don't have a lot for them!

#clerks1994 #clerks2006 #clerks #clerks2 #clerks animated #kevin smith #view askew #view askew headcanons #view askewniverse #randal graves headcanon #randal graves #randal graves x dante hicks #dante hicks #dante hicks headcanon #heacanons

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thatguy-thisguy-yourguy · 1 year

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Yes hi hello, I just recently got into the Clerks franchise and was so happy to find this blog fr. I was wondering if you could write a post about meeting and dating Dante, similar to the one you did about Randal. Dante is my boi and he deserves everything. Thank you in advance~

Something was the name and playing hockey was your game

You were in no way new to the team, but you hadn’t bothered to get close to the people in it, because in your mind, it wasn’t about friendship, it was about sportsmanship, which I’m sure is totally different.

If you’re a dude or nonbinary reader, your reason may have been because the team was made up of cishet men, to your knowledge, and this was te 90s

If you’re a chic, your reason may have been because these are all men

Not that you were discriminated against, because goddamn, you could play hockey, but for all the time you spent with these people, you expected to be a little closer. I mean hell, the only one whose full name you could remember was Randal Graves, and that’s only because he was the video store clerk

On this particular day, you were down a team member, which was no big thing. You’d have to make up for the extra person, as would everyone, which resulted in your unsatiable thirst…for a gatorade

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater…than a red gatorade

However, there was not one on standby, which meant you needed to mosey your way down to the quickstop

You did this, buying your drink, and one look at the cashier resulted in something like that spiderman meme, or maybe uncle sam since you were the only one pointing

Mentally, however, you couldnt remember his name…

“How’s the game?” He asked, with a longing in his eyes that you had only ever seen in Randal’s eastern eurpean gay porn

You told him it was going okay, and that it’d be even more okay if they weren’t down a teammate. You asked why he was working today when he always skipped for hockey. Apparently he was close to getting fired for it.

“Yeah, well don’t be a stranger” he said once you had bought the holy grail of drinks, and you wished him good luck on his misery.

You were not, in fact, a stranger after that. You greeted him when he returned for the next game and visting him during your breaks in the game(when he wasn’t there) became a normal occurrence.

After a few months of being more than just hockey buddies, you two begin dating.

This means asking him, ‘You come here often?’ while he’s at his job.

And then…because I already wrote the other half…

https://www.tumblr.com/thatguy-thisguy-yourguy/698503744023904256/dating-headcanons-for-dante-and-randal?source=share

(those are my dante dating headcanons)

Obligatory "this one's for you babe!" and missing the net completely. Maybe even falling.

#clerks #kevin smith #view askewniverse #clerks animated #view askew #headcanons #x reader #dante hicks x reader #dante hicks headcanon #dante hicks #clerks2 #clerks1994 #clerks2006

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