tbh its almost not worth going on queer nsft tumblr bc of how stressful it is ??? so many posts have DNIs like wlw only or fems only, and so on. and like... I'm a queer person. my gender and sexuality are so fluid i barely worry about them. but every post i have to think "am i allowed to like this post? i come off kinda masc sometimes" or "will this person accept me as wlw?" and it's exhausting. i feel like at every turn im being told to either assign myself labels that don't fit quite right or get off queer nsft tumblr.

i notice misandry and transandrophobia a lot more now the more masculine i seem because of T. people considering me predatory instead of safe, which was actually my greatest fear when i started hrt. people saying "women and non-binary people" and wondering what they mean. maybe they're polysexual. maybe they're bio essentialist t erfs [turfs]. do they think enben, (non-binary people), are just "women-lite"? do they hate men? how do they feel about enben AMAB? what about enben who aren't androgynous? would they even accept me as non-binary because i've been on T for 4 years?

i know people have boundaries, and thats super important! but i wonder what motivates those boundaries, what logic underlies them. are they saying what they really mean?

Just learnt the phrase cisexism... How it different to normal sexism?

Cisbinary Flag

Cisbinary: a conformant term describing someone who is cis* (cisgender/cissex/cisvestic/cismodal) experiencing a binary gender (aptobinary/xorgender).

Inclusive of cisqueer (neocis, cis femache), neobinary (bonusbinary, ambinary/mesobinary, yesbinary), and AGAB nonconforming (ANC) people (plus more).

Counterpart: transbinary.

there is a general transmisogynist tendency to explain transmisogyny or trans womanhood as a product of essentialist (often biological but also social) difference. this is a reiteration of the cisexism dominant in patriarchy.

the production of 'biological truths' by birth assignment is biopolitical and does not necessarily say anything specific about a body beyond the fact that it has been coercively assigned a sex. in the case of those designated male, it says that this body is now expected to become a boy, then a man. this threat is backed by both social and medical institutions with the duty to intervene if this body (/mind) derives from the ideal (racialized) male form.

by treating the socially constructed ideal male as natural, passively becoming a purebred american heterosexual, deviation from the norm becomes the intervention, the artificial. like a defective component - always in relation to what it ought to be, as if this was something it always already was, but failed to properly maintain, affirm, or celebrate in its deviance - but still fundamentally that component regardless. a worn out gear is still a broken gear, even if its a coaster now.

so the difference in assignment between cis and trans women becomes not fundamentally a difference in duty, expectation, or treatment, but a difference in essence which produces variation in duty, expectation, and treatment. many feminists can recognize that this essence cant be prediscursive, apolitical and natural, but must be (re)produced. 'male socialization' thus becomes a term of abuse not to discuss the construction of manhood but as a way to maintain this particular gender essentialism about the necessary success of socialization while serving as a reification of 'male biology' and a cover for the correctness of assignment. male-socialized as indicative a state of being rather than a history, similarly to how cisexists employ asab terminology to express their cisexism.

at the end of the day, cisexism demands essential manhood somewhere in every victim of its assignment to justify itself. whether we situate it in biology or socialization doesnt significantly change the transmisogyny at play because both are used to mischaracterize us as necessarily men

Altersex cisex woman pride flag

[Flag ID: a 7 stripes flag going from a lilac stripe, a mint green stripe, a baby blue stripe, a white stripe, a light pink stripe, a slightly red dark grey stripe and a black stripe. End ID.]

Altersex cissex woman/Altersexual cissexual woman/Alteradic cissex woman. a term for those who identify as both altersex and cissex and a woman.

whats funny about afab becoming more common than cafab in my personal vocab is that the coercion aspect of continual reassignment via everyday cisexism is like the most consistent thing between the tma experience and transphobia sans transmisogyny, especially when it comes to the feminist angle paternalistic misgendering from terfs.

like yeah most of the time its me whos made to embody Big Tranny in the situation but like idk i feel like terfs are evolving and want to make their cisexism more even? like idk if its me but ive generally been seeing more distance being put between Big Tranny and the tma targets of their harassment (mostly). sorry if im being rambly the general cisexism and its evenness isnt new to me its that i feel like some of them are seeing holes in their transmisogynistic worldview and attempting to patch them up by being transmisogynistic in the way some trans guys like when theyre feministly misgendered or whatever.

Hey we're out of the loop, whats a TEHM ?

trans exclusionary homosexual male, a term for suptilic cmlcm (cisgender man loving cisgender men), cissexist vincian/todamoric/toramoric.

it’s TE (transgender exclusionary) just as TERF/TEF

i’m forcing myself to do some researches for my paper and i was already kinda meh about the article i’m currently reading for acting like there’s three genders (male, female and transgender) which is uh....not great and then they went and described Flickr/Photobucket as yet another social media used by The Youth tm so hmm...Don’t think I’m gonna end up using this shit for my paper...

when an ‘intermediate-advanced’ rp site has typos in the info pages

and ur not really planning to join anyway bc lmao who has time or energy for that shit anymore but it’s panfandom! ur curious abt what kind of chars are hanging around!

and u look at the member directory and they’ve made a fucking joke of preferred pronouns

i'm transphobic and dont want to be, can you please give me some pointers or something on avoiding a transphobic mindset?

Devon says:

Here are our ally resources. Definitely check that page out!

Here are some other things:

Don’t expect trans people in your life to educate you. – They might be happy to help in certain situations, but it’s not their job to guide you through everything at all times.

That being said, I am happy to educate people about being trans when they ask respectfully and they don’t have malicious intentions (or maybe they do and I’m just bad at reading people…), so there might be trans people in your life who are happy to answer questions.

It is okay to have transphobic thoughts. Almost everyone does (including trans people); it’s the way we’re raised. What is not okay is acting on those thoughts, whether by making a transphobic comment on a facebook post or acting violently towards trans people.

When you have a transphobic thought, try to challenge it. For example, you might think, “That person is lying about their gender, non-binary genders are just made-up.” You could then challenge this thought by writing in a note on your phone, or in a journal, or just thinking to yourself, like, “I don’t understand that person’s gender, but that doesn’t mean that I should disrespect non-binary genders.”

You could look into resources/books/articles (through google or your public library) about challenging internalized privilege. It will probably be easier to find resources that talk about oppression more broadly (like “X is an oppressive attitude…” rather than “X is a transphobic attitude…”) but you can apply the more broad information to your situation.

Following trans people on social media could help you to humanize us more, learn about our experiences, or learn about the oppression that we experience. Laverne Cox, Jazz Jennings, Janet Mock, and Sophie Labelle are some cool famous trans women. You could also just follow not-famous trans people who have similar interests to you.

Spend some time learning about our history! I have a really hard time paying attention to history myself, but it is definitely important.

Hope this helps!

my pregnant sister emailing about her biologically male baby: he is starting to kick

my dad: well as a boy he probably already likes ball games

me: ...*threw up in their mouth*...

This really, really, really spoke to me. <3⠀ .⠀ R/P from @gswellmural : "Radically changing the world.. one #mural at a time. Meet us next Thursday for our 500th Mural dedication at 185 Ellery Street. We will reveal our new Justice & Equity mural, titled 'Flight of Freedom' which depicts #immigrationrights and the #diversity of our communities.⠀ ●●●●⠀ 500th Mural Dedication⠀ In partnership with @gnyc_interns⠀ 185 Ellery Street⠀ Thursday, 8.31 @ 230pm"⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ #feministart #angeladavis #intersectionalfeminism #feministquotes #patriarchy #cisexism #whitesupremacyisterrorism #artivism #activism #muraldedication #ImmigrantRights #brooklynart #muralart #immigrationreform #humanrights

Isogenital/Isosex Flag

Isossex/isogenital, abssex/absex/absgenital or metagenital/metasex: not being cissex/cisgenital nor transsex/transgenital; conceptualizing your sex as neither trans or cis. 

Also named isosexed, isossexed, isosexual(ity) [specious], isosexus, isosexuous/isosexous, isossexo, isosexe, isogonadal, metagonadal, absgonadal, isogenic, isogenetic [hyponyms].

Iso- comes from isomers, suggested/coined/signified/created by anon via @bigendering​ describing those who are uncomfortable with calling themselves trans but aren’t cis either. 

It’s interpreted as “neither” as opposed to utrinque “both”. However, iso etymologically means “equal”.

i wish my version of a character was someone's definitive version of that character. like. esp my trans characters cause i put a lot of thought and feeling into developing those characters and it just kinds sucks to know that a cis version of that character is always going to be more appreciated and get more attention.

@wasted-electricity where do i start? how do i know what else you believe people are born with or is inevitable? do you believe variation in race and culture comes from deterministic biology? variation in sexuality? do you believe cis men and women were born boys and girls? that sickness and health allude to some innate quality in an individual rather than describing social phenomena? in my experience people would much rather describe their relation to these things as passive.

so say you live in a society that actively punishes deviance from cisexist and transphobic norms, from the notion that boys will naturally and passively become men and girls will naturally and passively become women, from bioessentialism. you just cant go around reminding people that theyre actively punishing deviance and performing gender. that none of this is passive. instead youre somewhat cornered into conceding to biological determinism and making it more trans-friendly. "cis men and women are born boys and girls, and trans men and women were not born boys and girls, nor girls and boys (respectively), therefore some other thing". its expanding the political horizon of bioessentialism and allowing it to formulate and identify new forms of determinism.

i think that ultimately trans identity is a feature of a cisexist and transphobic society much like how being born this way is a narrative that emerged from a history of engaging with biological determinism as a dominant ideology. its a product of negotiations. i wouldnt need to call myself trans if no one cared. for example some women display their natural hair color while others get theirs dyed. we dont impose the use of nouns to classify people into "naturals" and "artificials" because we dont care like that. we still use "natural blonde" as an adjective but no one is going around pigeonholing the rest of society to uphold deterministic notions about "blondes"... (or do they? and to what degree? and how common are these people?)

i know part of what youre asking is also "what motivates people to transition?", and you might feel like im tricking my way out of addressing this. but again, the reason were forced to address this in the first place is because were such a curiosity in the realm of cisexism, as proof that maybe something is wrong with cisexist biological determinism - that not all boys become men and not all girls become women. we have to explain ourselves not as exceptions to the rules but as proof of more rules. and even that is never sufficient to quench the thirst for a "why".

what makes us different is fundamentally their insistence on our difference. the burden of responsibility is on us to maintain the biological determinism theyve internalized after our mere existence took it for a spin. were the ones who have to explain ourselves

Altersex cisex man pride flag

[Flag ID: a 7 stripes flag going from a lilac stripe, a mint green stripe, a baby blue stripe, a white stripe, a light blue stripe, a slightly red dark grey stripe and a black stripe. End ID.]

Altersex cissex man/Altersexual cissexual man/Alteradic cissex man. a term for those who identify as both altersex and cissex and a man.

tagging : @varsex-pride