一念关山 | A Journey to Love ° (๑•́ ⌓ •́)૭ ◟(•̀ ᴖ •́◟ )

he's been onscreen for one (1) minute but i'm obsessed with yu shisan

The best thing they gave each other was a life time of adventures 🌸❤.

Hi [Character],

I notice that you haven't responded to my email about the [Terrible and Useless Committee] that I'm putting together. Don't worry, I know you just forgot so I've put you down as a member anyway. See you at the meeting this evening.

[Person Who Has Just Ruined Your Day]

I'm sure that we've all had similar emails to this (just me...?). Usually the two choices are to join the committee (and suffer) or refuse (and worry that everyone hates you) (just me again...?). However, in cdrama there is a very logical, very necessary third path!

Faking your own death.

Now, is there a convenient cliff anywhere around here...

Propaganda, examples, and write-ins are absolutely encouraged!

After watching 29 episodes but having accidentally spoiled myself about what comes next, it makes me emotional thinking about Ruyi's names.

She started as 壬辛, two characters used as part of an ancient numbering system, characters used for the counting of days and hours. 壬 has no meaning other than to signify the ordinal ninth. 辛 is the ordinal eighth, with the additional meaning of hard labor, suffering, bitterness. 壬辛 - no surname, not a name for a person, but for an instrument of death.

Then, when Ruyi earned the right to rename herself after becoming Left Emissary, she chose to add the radical 人 (meaning human) to 壬, to become 任 (an actual surname and also a character meaning to shoulder, to take responsibility for, a duty).

Left Emissary 任辛 - One who shoulders the responsibility of bitterness

Then, 任辛 burns and rises anew as 如意 Ruyi, two characters meaning to be gratified as one wishes. It was the blessing spoken by both the Empress and Ning Yuanzhou, the two people she most loves. And in her dream state in episode 26 as she meditates on the crossroads of her vengeance, she hears her Empress call her 如意 Ruyi for the first time.

任如意 - One who has the duty to be happy, as she wishes.

it's easy to read the situation between li tongguang, ruyi, and yuanzhou as a love triangle on a superficial level, but looking even one step further, it's clear that there's no triangle about it. li tongguang is obsessed with ren xin; ning yuanzhou is devoted to ren ruyi. ltg's obsession is fervent and all consuming, but it's not devotion. like ruyi herself notes, his feelings to her are on the basis of her as a mother figure in his life, as a replacement for what he never received from his mother. is there an element of romantic/sexual love/desire to it? maybe. more likely he's deluded himself into thinking that, because the truth is, it's doubtful that ltg even understands what love is (platonic, filial, familial, romantic, all of the above, etc), because he has no basis for understanding. ruyi's teachings and actions towards him are the closest thing he has to hold up as an example. what he wants is ren xin, is a replica of the master he had. he doesn't want ruyi, because he doesn't actually care about ruyi. therefore, he doesn't care if she's sad, angry, mad; he just can't bear her 'abandoning' him. we saw this way back when she first meet and left him, both at thirteen and seventeen. although he distrusts her first, she saves his life and cares for him in the way no one else has, hence her first being raised on a platform in his mind. when she leaves for good, ending their master-disciple relationship/training, even though it's for official business and she's not abandoning him, in his mind that's exactly what it is. so now that she's in his life again, he won't let her leave again. he was powerless before, a child with no proper name, but now he's a recognized member of the imperial family, a man who can meet her as 'equals' (even when that's far from the truth). as a child, he could only cling to her legs and beg her, but now he has the power to keep her by his side. it's telling that when he finally gets confirmation of her identity, it's not ning yuanzhou he seeks to harm (even though he detests him and their relationship), but yang ying. yang ying is ruyi's new disciple, and as ltg doesn't know she's a woman, he only sees her as his direct replacement.

ning yuanzhou, on the other hand, is devoted to ruyi. he wants to build a new life and future with her, instead of slotting her into a spot in the life he already has. he's someone who accompanies her on walks and makes her midnight snacks, who holds her when she needs to be held and lets her go when she needs to do things on her own. when she speaks her mind, he listens, even when it makes him discontent/it's not what he wanted/wants to hear. he sees her unabashedly as his equal, and though he acknowledges her skills and abilities, or points out her naivety, he never does it to belittle her; to him, she is his peer, deserving of the highest honor and respect. he trusts her to have his back, and she has come to trust him to have her. he did what she might have thought no man would ever do: he proved himself reliable, so she came to rely on him. yuanzhou gives her freedom and autonomy as both ren ruyi and ren xin. of course they run into problems, but they both learn and grow from them, as individuals and as a couple. yuanzhou's belief in her is unwavering, but adaptable, whereas ltg's is unwavering, but frozen in time, disallowing for any new information to be presented. yuanzhou works with ruyi to accept the changes thrown her way; he seeks the core behind her actions in order to better understand her. li tongguang cannot accept the changes in ruyi's character, because they run contrary to the master he has on a pedestal in his mind.

what li tongguang wants is to return to the past, but yuanzhou offers ruyi the promise of a future, even one that might never come to fruition. there's no triangle about it.

another post-script on A Journey to Love and why I am ok with the Sad Ending™

what's truly messed up but also the reason the series even WORKS is that ultimately all of these characters could have lived if they stuck to their original agenda and outlook.

The delegation squad originally are like fuck everything & everyone, we are here and probably gonna die for ONE THING - clear the names of (Qian: avenge 🔪) the fallen Liudao Hall comrades. They don't care much about the emperor except for a means to an end, aren't expecting to fix anything for the Wu state by going thru this bullshit, and they hate everything about An, who they have been playing spy games with for years, which cost them family members, and they just lost 80K soliders from the war.

But in the last string of episodes they found the bodies & their brothers, gave the death rites, and THEY HAVE THE EDICT. The original goals, they're all done! They could pretend "I do not see it" and be just like the border city officials who aren't taking action with the excuse that they didn't see proof of any invasion threat, blah blah it was implausible. The guys and the cowardly Wu emperor could just go home.

Ning Yuanzhou always planned to do this 1 final act and nope-out. He could have left with Ruyi and let the geo politics play out as they may.

Ruyi had already achieved her empress revenge arc. She'd even gone a step further to free the White Sparrows.

But each character makes their final choice to fight & die because they are not the people from the start of the journey. Every episode we watched lead them to be the people who would make this choice. Opening the princess YY & Ruyi's eyes to the world opened the Hall squad's eyes as well. Being introduced to people from An as fellow humans who can hurt and laugh and want. Finding allies and commonalities. Questioning why. Mentoring a young royal who wants to understand what leadership means and what do we owe to each other. Modeling for Ruyi what partnership and teamwork means. Getting that damn edict because the Scarlet Guard leader returned an honorable act with his own, stepping back from guarding the Wu emperor. Sorta adopting a volitile An duke with violent attachment issues.

Following their original objectives would have lead to a bittersweet but happy ending as the core ensemble ride off into the sunset with their victory and let An & Wu burn, who had taken so, so much from them. But it wouldn't have been true to the characters we got to know & saw change from the experiences we shared with them. The intentional, ultimate sacrifices underline the lessons learned and lend greater meaning to its themes.

10 Characters That Make Me Feel Things

tagged by @imlivingformyselfdontmindme

Since I am tagged by a cdrama buddy, I am gonna limit it to cdramas.

Wolfie/Chu Youwen, The Wolf (2020). I enjoy drama characters often, but I never lust over them. Meet close to the sole exception. Anyone who was following me when this drama aired, remembers the insanity. I finally understood what groupies are on about.

Xiao Qi, The Rebel Princess (2021) - the ur drama general, as far as I am concerned.

Awu, The Rebel Princess (2021) - I would fight through insurmountable odds to get to her also.

Jiang Xiao Yuan, Derailment (2023) - I am with @imlivingformyselfdontmindme she is everything and I am totally a JXY defender!

Xiao Yao, Lost You Forever Part 1 (2023) - my FL of the year. She would be terrible as a partner and insurmountable amount of work but I can totally get why all these people chase her, I would too.

Tushan Jing, LYF 1 (2023) - I want to make him sandwiches, give him a number of a great therapist and a genetics counselor and also some paper so he can scheme to help his girl's cousin take over the world as some sort of valentine's day present.

Ji Ye, Novoland Eagle Flag (2019) - murder more people in the streets, I love you pls!

Fan Xian, Joy of Life (2019) - mmmm

Yi Xiao Chuan, The Myth (2019) - let me weep in peace. The power of overwhelming will and brain and decency. Being not enough to save a damn thing.

Eighth Prince, Gong (2011) - the terrifying start of my finding queues sexy!

Xiao Yi Qing, Listening Snow Tower (2019) and Su Mengzhen, Heroes (2022) - nobody's ever coughed this beautifully while slaughtering as these two.

Yu Sifeng, Love and Redemption (2020) - duh

Ren Ruyi and Ning Yuanzhou, A Journey to Love (2023) - of course.

Shen Minglan and Gu Tingye, The Story of Minglan (2018) - my n1 drama and my n1 couple.

Ning Que, Ever Night 1 (2019) - young killer with infinite softness for one tiny world-destroying servant. I loved this character.

Ning Yi, The Rise of Phoenixes (2018) and Ye Hua, Three Lives (2017) - long hair obsessions.

Tantai Jin, Till the End of the Moon (2023) - I've already talked war and peace amounts about this man.

Yuan Hong in any drama.

This is way more than 10 so gonna stop.

So I dragged myself kicking and screaming and, yes, mostly in denial, through the last episodes of A Journey to Love.

My thoughts can be summarized as follows:

Obviously this is mainly due to me being horrifically traumatized by Yuan Lu’s death. After all, they told us from the get go he wouldn’t live to 20. They made it clear he had a deadly heart disease. And then. They had the nerve. They had the audacity. They had the actual fucking bahoonga BALLS to follow through!?

But then I found myself sobbing at literally every good guy death scene, plus all of the mourning scenes. The latter was in large part thanks to Alen Fang's acting - deepest apologies to him for just referring to his character as 'the slutty one' for the majority of the show. Not that I was wrong. Also thanks to strong performances from He Lan Dou for Yuan Lu's death.

Anyway so I need to add this gif x4 for the Liudao Hall babies:

Qian Zhao, da ge, who made mistakes but always did right in the end

Sun Lang, who just wanted to hold something fluffy at the end, dying a hero

Yuan Lu, who died in his princess's arms after running to deliver a letter rendered useless by the Emperor of An's greed.

Yu Shisan, who lived as he lived and had such a happy moment with Chu Yue right before it all became irrevocable.

When they added Yu Shisan to the snowball fight, I just about lost it. Liu Yuning's acting there - having the realization about Shisan's death as he watched them play in real time was so well done. Really hurt.

Plus I'll make a couple of versions with edits.

For the Wu Emperor. I knew it was gonna happen from the spoilers but damn, him genuinely learning the value of friendship and brotherly love made me root for him. Dude did not deserve to go out like that. Thank goodness for the magic of CDramas where he lived just long enough to pass on his will to Ning Yuanzhou, and do one last act of good.

It also ensured Duke of Chu was able to pass on his command to his daughter, Chu Yue, before dying of the same (was not clear if her bro died or not, or if dad was always going to choose her).

And for Deng Hui. Started out thinking he was just a sexist bastard. Turns out he was one of the most principled characters in the show.

Their deaths didn't make me cry, but I respect them.

Also loved Chen Du Ling's (Empress of Wu) small part in this. I may not like all of her characters but she can deliver a scene and hold a room. It was a bit cathartic to see her put every man in their place, and basically decide the fate of two countries, even though her lament that she'd only ever have power through another held true.

Ah Ying, my baby girl. This is a character that could have turned people off from the beginning. Thanks to strong writing and stronger acting, it did not. I was super impressed with He Lan Dou. She can dial it up and dial it down in a single take, and can play big dramatic scenes with a subtlety that some older actors cannot grasp. This was the first thing I've seen her in, though for her and Chen You Wei (Yuan Lu) I might watch Tiger and Crane if someone tells me it's good.

I still think Li Tongguang is a perverted and creepy child, who never managed to learn (except in literally the last ep), but at least I trust that he will treat Ah Ying well. I don't hold it against him for screwing up the battle - he was trying to be benevolent but made a bad choice.

The main couple win it for me this year. What an inspired pairing. They beat out heavy hitters including Bai Lu x Everyone which was near impossible. Something to do with letting Liu Shi Shi use Liu Yuning's height against him at every possible moment. Also the 'if you die, I'll finish the job and then follow you' is my favorite dynamic. I swear when Ruyi threw those bombs, NOT NEEDING TO HAVING ALREADY SUCCEEDED AT KILLING THE KING AND PRINCE, just to join him, y'all I died. Good for whoever posthumously gave her the Marquis title on her own (not just furen) - couldn't tell if it was Li Tongguang acting as regent or Dayang (great shot of those two at the end).

The final episode was one of the best final cdrama episodes I've seen. I might have to make another post about that. In sum, despite losing a large portion of the well-loved cast, the remainder gave a world-class finale. The visuals were incredible (explosions are my favorite). The final scene was beautiful (though I'm a bit surprised they gave it to Chu Yue instead of Ah Ying who knew all 6 of them closely).

a journey to love eps 33 & 34

today's eps were so good. i know we're heading to a sad ending, but i feel like it's one that's going to be executed really well (and i fucking love a good sad ending):

qian zhao's reveal puts like. every single moment of his into a new light and i love it -- 100% what a reveal should do and explains so much more about him

yang ying!!!! maneuvering, shaking, showstopping. i fucking love her. her white lie to the marquis at the end also just demonstrates how quick-thinking she is and im excited for her "throw me to the wolves and i'll return leading the pack" narrative GO GO GO

ning yuanzhou!!!!!!! when he gets to the branch and the guard tells him he's sorry for his loss and all he can do is say "okay okay okay" over and over again!!!! such good consistency and UGH they had to make his playdate outfit so tragic!!! DONT DIE IN IT LATER, DUDE

sun lang: "I can't take care of your death wish because i'll be too busy hanging out with dogs and cats" RELATABLE PRINCE

i loved how genuinely upset shisan was at yuanzhou going off for a suicide mission. i love how much depth the secondary characters get. love love love

edit to add: baby marquis was going to seal up ruyi's tomb and he says a main reason is so yuanzhou cant visit?! dude. im not as big a believer in his growth journey as everyone else so im ready for him to snap and go truly off the rails. we'll see

IM NOT FUCKING READY FOR EP 36 WHY WOULD THEY MAKE THAT THE PREVIEW

nyz: that's my wife!!

Liu Yuning (Ning Yuanzhou) being pinned by Liu Shishi (Ren Xin) in A Journey to Love because she wants him to have her baby with no strings attached is Doing Things To Me, and making me imagine Scenarios.

I have neither the time nor much inclination to write fanfiction, but can I just say how much I appreciate:

large man being topped/pinned/dominated by small, fierce woman (hence my years-long obsession with Reylo, specifically Rey wrecking Kylo Ren's shit)

him being all scandalized and embarrassed by how frank and brazen she is

he's also kind intrigued/turned on that she bit him and left teeth marks

she continues to aggressively pursue him for several episodes, and he's thrown for a loop every time

literally every other character is like, "but why are you not hitting that", and he's like, "but I care about her feelings even though she's been trained to totally disregard them"

Anyway, I totally want to smoosh their faces together, and I'm only on episode 9.

(and oh, how I cackled at the shirtless guards lifting stuff at her!)

Best Character surnamed : Ning

Come and vote for the best characters with the same surname!*

What does best mean? It's up to you! Whether you love them, are intrigued by their characters, love to hate them, or they're your '2 second blorbos whose personality you made up wholesale', these are all reasons for you to vote for your favs!

*note, the surnames are not exactly the same in all the cases, as often there will be a different character. I am, however, grouping them all together otherwise things got more complicated.

Propaganda is very welcome! If I’ve forgot anyone, let me know in the notes.

This is part of a larger series of ‘best character with X surname’ polls’. The overview with ongoing polls, winners, and future polls can be found here

In anxious anticipation of the upcoming final episodes of A Journey to Love, I went searching for dirt to bury my stress with! And came across this treasure of a snippet from Liu Yuning's livestream. I don't know why but the Dongbei accent makes this at least 150% funnier.

A rough translation, for non-Mandarin speakers:

"Recently I’ve been using my voice a lot- doing a bit of dubbing for the resolution of A Journey to Love. So in the final episodes, you know, I’m getting kidnapped so I gotta keep shouting for someone to save me. Ning Yuanzhou screams his head off for help a lot at the end there. And there’s no one to save him 🙁

”Heeeelp!!! Hel-" Just gotta keep screaming for help.

Dubbing that section- I had to scream “help me” twelve times. “Haaalp!! Save me!”

So now I’m hoarse. Really overworked my vocal cords. Everyone, please understand 😏

You’re asking where did I get kidnapped to? Didn’t I say that in the finale of A Journey of Love the male lead gets kidnapped by aliens?! In episode 40, a UFO shows up on the battlefield and just immediately lassoes me with a hoop of light and I start floating up and in the middle of that I gotta scream for help. So yeah, screamed a lot- “HALPPP! HELLLLP!” And then ~sound effects~ off we go.

That was my final scene- got hauled off by aliens. In the sequel**, I’ll fly back. That way I can film two dramas. The director and I discussed the ending and he thought it was brilliant. So got kidnapped. Shouted help me twenty times and it was a wrap."

~sound effects again~ goes on a long tangent about how additional sequels will be like iPhones, titled The Third Idea…, Fourth, etc. up to #1285 and will feature the male lead getting kidnapped at the end of each one and returning for the next so he can guarantee himself a lifetime’s worth of work.

**The first two characters of the Chinese title of the drama roughly translates to “An Idea” or “A Thought”, so he’s jokingly titled the sequel “A Second Idea/Thought”.

wip wednesday!

it's been a while since i've done one of these, but i have been churning out ideas for A Journey to Love fic nonstop since before the show ended (as @myhamartiaishubris can attest)

this snippet was written around like, eps 25-28-ish. (basically before everyone started dying). it was going to be the start to a Yu Shisan-centric time-travel fixit, but then the show finished and it made this whole thing irrelevant.

Basically, AU where the second prince isn't a dipshit, An Di isn't as terrible, and there's no real issues with getting our of the Wu capital.

CW for major character death under the cut

Yu Shisan does not die in a dramatic blaze of glory, nor does he die to protect a beautiful and virtuous young lady. He dies halfway home from the An kingdom when a stray arrow from a bandit hits him in the lung. Ning Yuanzhou makes a truly animalistic sound, and Ren Ruyi and Sun Lang both viciously fight off any bandits who come near him and Lao Qian. Lao Qian looks stoic as ever, hands perfectly steady as he tries to bandage the wound. Shisan already knows it's no use, but Lao Qian's eyes flash beautifully when he tries to say that. "Ah, Lao Qian," he tries, "You shouldn't worry; you'll get wrinkles, and then where would your good looks go." "I'm not one of your ladies, brought to my knees with pretty words and fluttered eyelashes," Lao Qian snaps, stripping Shisan of his armor to better reach his wound. Oh, Shisan thinks. "I know that," he says aloud. He intends to keep talking, but instead he coughs, sending blood splattering over Qian Zhao’s robes. Qian Zhao’s lips purse, but he doesn’t pause in his ministrations. Yuan Lu has come to kneel by his side, hands shaking as he reaches for Shisan’s hand. “You can’t die,” Yuan Lu says, voice choked with tears. “Yang Ying will be so upset if you die.” “I didn’t mean to,” Shisan says, and coughs again.  “Stop talking,” Lao Qian snaps. “You’re aggravating it.” Shisan chokes on a laugh. “Ah, Lao Qian,” he says, ignoring the way his whole body lights up in a flare of pain. “I must maintain my image.” “You can’t do that if you’re dead,” Ning Yuanzhou says. Shisan didn’t realize he’d knelt down next to him. That must mean the bandits are gone. He says as much, or at least he tries to, breaking off into another blood-soaked cough. He thinks everyone else has gathered around him, like they did that time Ning Yuanzhou was dying after the fight to protect Beauty’s dumb disciple. Someone moves his head, and then he’s looking up into Beauty’s worried eyes. He can die happily if he’s looking at a beautiful woman, Shisan decides, but then she lets go of his face, letting it loll back to look at Qian Zhao. There are more hands on his chest, and then a tear slips down Qian Zhao’s face. “That’s not right,” Shisan tries to say, attempting to reach up to wipe away Lao Qian’s tears, but he can’t do either. It’s getting harder to keep his eyes open. He hears a desperate conversation happening above him, multiple voices overlapping, but he can’t focus on it. Instead he keeps his eyes on Lao Qian’s face and the tears tracing down his cheeks until he can’t force them open any longer. Yu Shisan dies surrounded by his brothers, barely half a li from his own country.

so i wrote this before everyone died and had to scrap it, but rest assured that the au is still being written (alongside @myhamartiaishubris who is writing all the parts i can't, namely the flirting)

Journey to Love: Thinking about how Yuan Lu finds out that his Ruyi is the feared Ren Xin and cheerfully proclaims, "this is great!!"

I love his relationship with her SO MUCH.

Like, I do super ship the main couple and they're sexy and fun and strangely soft together. But though sweet teen characters normally leave me feeling bland to neutral, I am feeling some kinda way about this golden retriever boy just adopting an enemy country's assassin and being the only (living) character in the show who is always delighted to see her and who she never has to prove herself to. She never has to earn his regard, he just gives it to her freely. When she turns back in Ep3 and exposes her skills for the rescue, it's because she hears HIM in peril. That's who she drops in to rescue. I truly think she didn't return that 1st time for Ning Yuanzhou.

She doesn't owe Yuan Lu anything and he doesn't owe her, no deals or obligations. He's just always good to her because he wants to be. Every time he shouts her name I'm 😍 That's her emotional support human.