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afoolforatook · 3 years

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Love is Being Scared and Loving Anyway Ch. 1 Expanded Trigger Warning (revised)

While working on the trigger warning list for chapter 2 I looked back and the one for chapter 1 and hated how it was formatted and felt basically unreadable even for me. So, here’s an updated version that hopefully reads a bit easier.

(Hopefully chapter 2 should be ready soon, the Omni is just being a bit of a slog)

Here is an explanation of how this fic is formatted and what the versions are.

Or you can just go straight to the fic.

Clover’s pov is chapter 1

Omniscient (Eye to Eye) is chapter 2

Qrow’s pov is chapter

If you are worried about triggers, I suggest reading in the order they are posted, and stop at whatever version you feel comfortable with. If you aren’t worried about triggers I suggest reading Omni first and then Clover, and then Qrow.

This is a pretty emotionally heavy fic, and one of the reasons I did the multiple versions was so that there could be options for anyone worried about triggers. Each version on AO3 has a short description of the trigger warnings relevant to that version, but I wanted to go into a bit more detail for anyone who wanted it, and didn’t want to put a wall of text in the chapter notes each time. So this is all the trigger notes for each version, as well as a more complete list of general tags for the chapter.

As always, if you feel I’ve missed something, or that there is a better tag for something I have covered, please let me know. :)

Ch 1 - Generals tags

Characters - Qrow Branwen, Clover Ebi, Marrow Amin, Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long, Summer Rose

Relationships - Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi, Past Qrow Branwen/Summer Rose

Content - Hurt/comfort, Vent/therapy fic, Fair Game, Hummingbird

Broad warnings - Panic attacks, PTSD, Flashbacks, Past character death, Ch 12 mention, Ch 12 description, Clover death mention, Ch 12 fix it, Ch 12 was Qrow’s nightmare, Depression, Anxiety, Panic disorder, Insecurity, Grief, Loss of partner, Past alcoholism mention, Alcoholism recovery, Dissociating, Trauma, Nightmares

Individual versions

I’m only going to expand on the ones that are a bit loose or less straightforward, so things like ‘Racing thoughts’, are pretty straight forward so explaining would just be spoilers. These, and warnings already explained in earlier versions are listed at the bottom (marked with the version that explains them).

Clover

Altered perception of reality/Flashbacks/Hallucinations/PTSD

- All of these really are for the same thing but I wanted to be overly cautious. None of them fit the instance perfectly, but it is generally Qrow misinterpreting things in his panicked state. Seeing, hearing things not as in actual hallucinations but brain still putting everything in the context of his panic/not being fully aware.

Blood mention - Pretty minimal in this version.

Claustrophobia - Not necessarily technically claustrophobia, but some descriptions that I thought could be triggering.

Difficulty breathing - Due to anxiety, or perceived trouble breathing.

Dissociation - Two reasons, could apply to Qrow for the same reason as above. And for Clover, for using intentional dissociation as a coping mechanism.

Hyper-awareness/Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)

- Just general over sensitivity, awareness, inability to process during panicked state.

Hypercritical - Overly high expectations of self, perfectionism.

Nausea - More just a description of feeling off.

Paranoia - Really more anxiety related over worrying, apprehension, but again, thought could fall under this umbrella.

Trichotillomania - Again, not technically, but actions that could be reminiscent.

Unconscious self-harm - Felt like this was the best way to put this, but knew some people might not know exactly what I meant. This is regarding Qrow. He isn’t unconscious but rather, during a panic attack he unknowingly hurts himself, and it’s not at all serious.

(I say it this way because this is how I have described similar instances I have had - basically this is “Qrow hurt itself in its confusion” the tag)

————–

Omniscient aka Eye-to-eye

Body horror - I think this is a bit of a stretch, but again, being overly careful. Mostly for descriptions of feelings/bodily awareness that could be disturbing. One or two places that lean a little more toward bloody/gory (but not much).

Ch 12 That scene mention/Clover death description/Clover death mention - Vague/minor short mention, minimal visual/emotional description, not graphic.

Dermatillomania - Same as claustrophobia/trichotillomania.

Difficulty speaking/nonverbal episode - Similar to phobias, not quite there but Qrow has a very hard time making himself speak.

Feeling like dying - Description of what Qrow is feeling as he thinks he’s dying (panic).

————-

Qrow

CH 12 That scene description/Ch 12 mention /Clover death description/Clover death mention - Slightly more than in omniscient, longer mention, more visual/emotional description but still nothing outright graphic.

Suicidal thoughts - This one’s a little border, or at least what most people would think of as border, even though it still is a form of suicidal thought. It’s nothing in any way actionable or planning, but wishing/expecting to die during a trauma.

#fair game #my writing #my fic writing #Love is Being Scared and Loving Anyway

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clovertbh · 4 years

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if you're still taking character asks, marrow amin?

character asks | accepting !

MARROW AMIN

First impression

ngl, thought he was a wolf faunus at first. but i found him charming and i love the slight tsundere character that’s just, ‘no i don’t like you, what gave you that idea, hmph’, it’s cute and i felt it was charming

Impression now

hhhhhh ok so like, i really love marrow and i just really like that anyone can be in the atlas military, regardless of species and whatnot. granted, his teammates didn’t always take him seriously at times since he’s the baby of the group (both with being new and being fresh out of the academy likely), but you can still feel that his team cherishes him and each other. marrow also gives off a strong sense of loyalty (and not just bc he’s a dog faunus) and he’s just a really interesting character and i hope we get to see him more in vol 8

Favorite moment

his confidence during ch 3 in the dust mines when it came to fighting. you can tell marrow takes pride in his combative skills.

Idea for a story

becoming the leader of the ace ops now that clover is gone. i just like the idea that regardless of how things went, the leadership was gonna be passed down to marrow because of the potential he carries

Unpopular opinion

i wish it wasn’t too on the nose that he’s a dog faunus: his name, his trait, his weapon name, his semblance, etc. most of the faunus thus far were subtle and charming, but marrow’s just felt like an entire dog stereotype. it kinda felt lazy...

Favorite relationship

Marrow and Harriet, I feel they’d be a quirky and bantery type of duo. I also like the idea of them sparring and Marrow messing with her by using his semblance. It usually ends with her winning anyway.

Favorite headcanon

Marrow’s semblance having more than just the ‘stay’ ability, but he’s either still working on evolving his semblance, he doesn’t know it yet, or he doesn’t use the other abilities

#aminstime #answered ask #yang speaks #rwby #marrow amin

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shytiff · 2 years

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Feb 2022

1 - ive slept so much and i slept again in the morning to afternoon lmao. wingstop and kangkung for lunch. afternoon shift that got hectic at 6-7 pm

2 - i rly riy dont feel like doing anything today huftt. muesli for bfast. slept. cooked the fillet tilapia for late lunch and ate it with kangkung. night shift here we go

3 - chaotic night shift without sleep. STEMI on fibrinolytic in IGD, altered consciousness due to suspected COVID myocarditis. hurriedly packed my stuff and off to AR. 7.15 from cilegon with arimbi and arrived at about 10.30 ish? ~3 hrs. ate truffle belly for lunch. napped. bought chicken master. i ate banana toast and chicken. fianti didnt want to go outside so she canceled going to pop up, but thankfull racheel could accompany me. watched venom carnage

4 - om amin came to ask for ailments for his medical complaints. off to racheel’s house. bts pop up at sency!! was so excited when i saw the actual thing. bought a brown hoodie at a 40% discounted price, totaling about 1.3 mio. imaging buying it at the full price lmaoo. its a good thing i came ‘late’. the actual price on weverse shop is just 95000 won (about 1.1 mio) and the delivery fee was ~30000 won. so racheel said its like im buying the hoodie without the tax. we tried to search for the mirror stuff in plaza senayan (and did not find it). lunch at mangkokku senayan park and saw the bridge above (even though the other part was off limits since youre supposed to bring receipt now) but its okay. we sat and watched two girls took some photos. walked to senayan jcc to go back. mistakenly gojeked solaria AND daily box for some reason. the portion of daily box was too little but the tteokpokki tasted good.

5 - juan’s flight got delayed so i left the house before him (originally planned to go after he went). ate my smoked chicken solaria. off to the rest area. took arimbi bogor-merak (40k cost). left the house at 09.30 and arrived at mess 12.30. ate arirang bone marrow. afternoon shift was quite hectic even though the patients i handled totaled to 4 that shift. i rly need to manage time more. i guess im not used to heckin busy ER so its a learning experience. chatted in mess and suddenly its 12 pm

6 - woke up at 8. saw zihan frantically contacting me to ask about a patient. its my fault that i turned off my wifi. i shouldve turned it on... wonder why when im not on the radar stuff happen and when i turn on wifi nothing happens haha. afternoon shift and its quite hectic. sleep sleep!! u rly need to stop waking up so late

7 - i woke up late lol. cant bring myself to do anything. late bfast is cereal and late lunch is chicken breast. started cherry blossom after winter. its rly pure, wholesome, the characters are communicative, its sweet, realistic but entertaining without being too heavy. night shift today. got 4 handover patients.

8 - did not get the chance to sleep. there’s some down time but its too short and my mind is too buzzing for me to take a nap. walked a bit to palm hills after shift. theres almost no one around, so much silence and nice nature sounds that i took off my headphones for a bit. ate nasi uduk at my usual favorite place. slept. woke up at around 11:30. my head kind of hurts for a bit so i ate muesli. read cherry blossom until the latest chapter (lolll its 100+ ch). activated my gopaylater and ordered some gofood but the gofood server was down so i ate 3 sausages and some chocolate waters for dinner. discovered yeogaeul and her vlogs are rly nice!! it portrays jkt in a whole different light

9 - woke up late (i rly need to stop doing this). bought some stuff from eat banoffee since it rarely gets promo. tried mini blueberry cheesecake, korean garlic bread and their kopsus. did some borang. its all delicious and the coffee doent separate from the coffee. ran a bit in the evening and bought fried chicken for lunch.

10 - jjajangmyeon for sahur. morning shift. bought some chicken and fish from best mart. fried and seared the chicken. felt rly sleepy after iftar.

11 - its rly2 hard to get off bed today. left the bed at about 12-ish. drank some leftover kopsus for motivation. ate chicken and rice with mayo and yeogaeul’s vlog. had patient with severe head injury that ended up with code blue. he didnot make it. i may or may not have heard some sounds of bones cracking... also had confirmed covid-19 patient with asthma. had to go back and forth to see the patient since there was no family with him. got free rice from igd. wa call with atikah

12 - i keep waking up late huhu. woke up with a bit of headache. ordered sushiboox cilegon. it tasted quite horrible that i forgot how sushis are supposed to taste like lmao. the denial was rly real to go to shift. cooked fish fillet and egg rice for lunch.

13 - suuper in denial about shift. bought kanayam for lunch. laundry. evening shift

14 - liqo. ran a bit. bought some egg and groceries. night shift. couple of impatient patients. tried to sleep immediately

15 - woke up again to go to morning shift. ate left over sushiboox for breakfast. glad i ate that bcs i didnt get the chance to even pray zuhur bcs its that hectic hhh. ate macaroni and mom’s sauce and cheese. felt sooo full and sleepy. fell asleep. woke up. whatsapp call with ara for 1.5+ hrs.

16 - woke up late. first day of period. all of renata’s group mates are positive, so i suggested that she also became “positive” lol. tri stayed away from us that day lol. ate renata’s cooking for lunch. shrimp and long beans. i rly miss veggies. tried oatside with protein powder and its delicious. the milk does not make me feel “eneg” on its own. ran a bit. went to superindo and it actually have some nice items with good price. it also has arirang. i also just figured it out this day that superindo has funcity. it has been a while since i last went out with my motor bike and it felt refreshing. filled the air on the tires. had sliced bread + egg and sliced bread + ceres for dinner. Read illegal You Do You book and tried DISC personality test. read natsumexmikan fanfic until late at night lmaooo

17 - woke up late. pretended to have swabbed lol. bought veggies. banana chocolate toast for late late breakfast. cooked veggies and ate it with sausage and kerupuk seblak. night shift today

18 - did not get the chance to nap. i could lay down but i felt anxious laying there while kaka2 DU did not sleep. mendel was scheduled for the morning shift but he cant come and the DU rly need someone on triage so i extended a bit while waiting for confirmation from bang esa and zihan. went back to get some food to eat for bfast. finished shift at about 8. kak uwi was very against me extending lol. off to jkt at 8.40 and arrived at rest area 11-ish but i waited for mom in indomaret. ahhh home sweet home. i basically just slept that day and woke up for dinner. and then i think i read some fanfic and slept

19 - mom and the rest went to living world, so i spent the morning relaxing and eating bfast alone. lazed. replied to Prof’s WA about new ppt that needs to be done. i rly need to get that done but yall know what happens hahaha. off to racheel;s place to meet up with silv dev. we ate yamin 33 and went to batavia pik. its a nice weather and we rented bikes and lazed on the grass. i got headache when i got back lol i think its bcs of the winds on the way and i onnly wore tshirt and not jacketed up. ate dinner at 9 pm and slept like a baby

20 - woke up and hurriedly went to racheel to surprise atikah. we bought fruits and kue tete. met up and talked a bit while eating moon chicken. and then i have to go back again. left the house 11.15 and emir drove all the way, supervised by mom. arrived at 12.40ish. lunch was mom’s sukiyaki and veggies in the fridge. afternoon shift with kak uwi kak yustin. hectic as always hhhh. trying to get used to this. talked about stuff with ness after shift and took a shower close to the day change lol

21 - woke up latee and opened my laptop to fill this tumblr and reply to chats. ate mom’s teriyaki meat and veggie. packed veggie, rice and teri for dinner. thankfully the shift with kak uwi kak yustin was... quite peaceful. i can breathe again. a quick google call with some peeps and pak jul peeped in lol. tried to quickly unwind so i can immediately sleep but i still end up sleeping at 12

22 - woke up, prayed, slept again. ate muesli (new muesli this time, still prefer sports muesli though). did laundry. did 1 youtube workout for beginner. watched some youtube. most of the laundry dried in the sun yey. ate rice (mom’s sukiyaki lmaooo i tried to eat it sparingly so it can last longer hohoho). opened up my laptop to type this while eating japota honey butter. night shift (w kak yasser kak ardi) at the triage. quite a “safe” shift. there was a bleeding pregnant patient and there was no midwife so Asoka told me to VT the patient first. i had no idea what i just did lmaoo thank god the midwife came. the moment i laid down at kamjag 3 patients came

23 - laid down a bit from 5 am. walked a bit to alfamidi after shift to take money but muamalat is acting up again. bought veggies. ate muesli. slept. ate mom’s sukiyaki uyey. never get tired of it. lazed. tried to open my laptop but end up downloading and trying tandem. there goes my chance to do borang

24 - woke up late. muesli for late breakfast. i rly need to do some work so i went to DW (its been a while!) and tried to do ppt. there’s just a little progress but i got the gist of things to do for 1 ppt. labbaik chicken for dindin.

25 - morning shift. put my muesli and milk in the mcd tumbler and ate it at kamjag. a “safe” shift. still had some energy so i ran a bit after the shift and ate sate ayam. felt suuper sleepy so i laid down and end up falling asleep until like 8.30 pm. so much for saved energy thats supposed to be used for ppt making aaaaa

26 - woke up late. i always woke up late astagfirullah. and then suddenly its almost 1 pm and i had to shower and eat. packed muesli and cimory banana milk. safe shift alhamdulillah. got to eat the muesli and pray before the shift ended. no handover. i find it difficult to sleep immediately and lately ive been sleeping at 12 am.

27 - wtfff i heard tri waking me up but i slept again and woke up at 10-11. lazed. ate the last of mom’s sukiyaki and tauge. i dont know why suddenly its evening.

28 - ate muesli and roti sisir. slept. woke up before 12. put my blanket to laundry. ate at RM bu mamak (34k lol but the meatball taste like meat and the chicken was delicious) and went to jannor. i misss this place. the barista is different than who i usually see. the kopsus taste a bit different from usual. finished and sent 1 ppt for Prof. prayed at some random empty mosque. shopped a bit at hypermart. tidied up to sleep and put on sheet mask. slept quite early but i woke up at 10-ish due to headache. took PCT. eventually slept again at 12. im beginning to think that my circadian rhythm is fucked now. wide awake at night and rousing at 11-12 am huhu

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astrometriia · 4 years

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We said goodbye to all the things we loved Gave up our lives just to find that it was not enough

#tv: rwby #rwbyedit #spoilers //#ch: james ironwood #ch: clover ebi #ch: elm ederne #ch: vine zeki #ch: marrow amin #ch: harriet bree #ch: qrow branwen #jamesironwoodedit

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afoolforatook · 4 years

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Extended tag/trigger warning description for Love Is Being Scared and Loving Anyway Chapter 1, all versions

The first chapter of my big fic Love Is Being Scared and Loving Anyway (Or Loving Anyway) is finally up on AO3. It includes three versions of the same story, one an omniscient point of view, and one from both Clover and Qrow’s own povs.

Here is an explanation of how this fic is formatted and what the versions are.

Or you can just go straight to the fic.

Clover’s pov is chapter 1

Omniscient (Eye to Eye) is chapter 2

Qrow’s pov is chapter 3

As always, if you feel I’ve missed something, or that there is a better tag for something I have covered, please let me know. :)

Ch 1 - Generals tags

Characters - Qrow Branwen, Clover Ebi, Marrow Amin, Elm Erdene , Vine Zeki, Harriet Bree, Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long, Summer Rose, Tai Xiao Long (mention), Raven Branwen (mention), Ozpin (mention), James Ironwood (mention), Blake Belladonna (mention), Adam Taurus (mention), Tyrian Callows (mention)

Relationships - Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi, Past Qrow Branwen/Summer Rose, Poly STR- STQ possible but not outright (honestly Idk in this universe if I want it or not…)

(Hey! So I had no idea that the distinction between character/character and character & character was / = Romantic/sexual relationship, & = platonic/familial relationship! So utilizing that now!)

Qrow Branwen & Ruby Rose, Qrow Branwen & Yang Xiao Long, Ruby Rose & Yang Xiao Long, Qrow Branwen & Tai Xiao Long, Qrow Branwen is a father of 8 (9, with Penny), Yang Xiao Long & Tai Xiao Long, STRQ co-parenting, The Rose-Xiao Long-Branwen family

Content - Hurt/comfort, Vent/therapy fic, Fair Game, Hummingbird

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Individual versions (I’m only going to expand on the ones that are a bit loose or less straight forward, so things like Racing thoughts, is pretty self contained so explaining would just be spoilers.)

Clover-

Blood mention - Pretty minimal in this version.

Claustrophobia - Not necessarily technically claustrophobia, but some descriptions that I thought could be triggering.

Difficulty breathing - Due to anxiety, or perceived trouble breathing.

Dissociation - Two reasons, could apply to Qrow for the same reason as above. And for Clover, for using intentional dissociation as a coping mechanism.

Hallucinations/Altered perception of reality/Flashbacks/ PTSD - All of these really are for the same thing but I wanted to be overly cautious. None of them fit the instance perfectly, but it is generally Qrow misinterpreting things in his panicked state. Seeing, hearing things not as in actual hallucinations but brain still putting everything in the context of his panic/not being fully aware.

Hypercritical - Overly high expectations of self, perfectionism.

Nausea - More just a description of feeling off.

Paranoia - Really more anxiety related over worrying, apprehension, but again, thought could fall under this umbrella.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)/Hyper-awareness - Just general over sensitivity, awareness, inability to process during panicked state.

Trichotillomania - Again, not technically, but actions that could be reminiscent.

(I say it this way because this is how I have described similar instances I have had - basically this is “Qrow hurt itself in its confusion” the tag)

Anxiety, Coping mechanisms, False confidence, Grief, Hyper-awareness, Insecurity, Intrusive thoughts, Loss of partner, Minor injury (Qrow’s), Panic attack, Panic, Racing thoughts, Self-loathing, Summer death mention, Touch sensitivity.

--------------

Omniscient

Body horror - I think this is a bit of a stretch, but again, overly careful. Mostly for descriptions of feelings/bodily awareness that could be disturbing. One or two places that lean a little more toward bloody/gory (but not much)

Dermatillomania - Same as claustrophobia/trichotillomania.

Difficulty speaking/nonverbal episode - Similar to phobias, not quite there but Qrow having a very hard time making himself speak.

Feeling like dying - Description of what Qrow is feeling as he thinks he’s dying (panic).

Alcoholism mention (very minor), Altered perception of reality (see above), Anxiety, Blood mention, Ch 12 That scene mention, Claustrophobia (see above), Clover death description (minor), Clover death mention, Difficulty breathing (see above), Flashbacks (see above), Grief, Hallucinations (see above), Hyper-awareness (see above), Intrusive thoughts, Loss of partner, Minor injury (Qrow’s), Nightmare/Night terror, PTSD (see above), Pain description, Panic attack, Panic, Racing thoughts, SPD (see above), Summer death mention, Touch sensitivity. Trichotillomania (see above), Unconscious self-harm (see above), Vomit mention.

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Qrow-

Altered perception of reality (see above), Blood mention, Body horror (see above, though this version gets the closest to actually fitting the term), CH 12 That scene description, Ch 12 mention, Claustrophobia (see above), Clover death description, Clover death mention, Dermatillomania (see above), Difficulty breathing (see above), Difficulty speaking (see above), Dissociation (see above), Feeling like dying (see above), Flashbacks (see above), Grief, Hallucinations (see above), Hyper-awareness (see above), Intrusive thoughts, Loss of partner, Minor injury (Qrow’s), Nightmare/Night terror, Nonverbal episode (see above), PTSD (see above), Pain description, Panic attack, Paranoia (see above), Racing thoughts, SPD (see above), Self-loathing, Summer death description, Summer death mention, Trichotillomania (see above), Unconscious self-harm (see above), Vomit mention.

#fair game #my writing #Love is being scared and loving anyway

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