#certain people assuming that obviously she's in love with Rhys it's not like it could be anyone else in the night court | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redintooth · 2 months

Note

11, 16, 28, 42 for all of themmmm :3

Strap in, because this is going to be incredibly long!

For #11 - If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

Nix - The question to ask would be the name of the first man he ever kissed. (Not the first person. The distinction is important.) The follow up question would be who he blamed for his death. It's also worth noting that Osorin'd be able to identify Nix by the twin scars on his collarbone, both of which are in the exact shape of his teeth. No one outside of Osorin's court is aware of them.

Caelan - It could go either way. Most loved ones - specifically his cousins and mother - would likely have him correctly identify the components of a medicinal salve/potion using only his roots/make him identify impurities in a water source - also with his roots - or request that he shapeshift into his Kirin aspect. (Obviously, without disclosing what his second form is.) With Rhys, it'd be significantly easier. He'd only have to ask for him to communicate something nonverbally, as Caelan's telepathy is not public knowledge.

Lysias - The person in question would need to ask about the significance of his last name, as well as the person who gave it to him. It'd be even easier for Felwydd; they're the only two (outside of the party,) to have ever seen his tattoo.

Aenan - This is slightly more complex. If members of the Order of the Unicorn were attempting to verify his identity, they'd start with his palm. Because he's a recruiter for the order (a fact that no one outside of the order is aware of, unless they're earmarked for recruitment,) he has access to the order's base within the Helm and Cloak. To access it, he has to twist the horn of the unicorn statue in the main foyer, which in turn temporarily brands his skin. The brand is invisible, unless revealed via a specific phrase; at which point, a tiny spiral horn, etched in gold, will appear. For both Tamlin and Emerys, the absence of the moonstone earring in the lobe of his left ear would likely give it away, as well.

Alternatively, asking him about what he did within seconds of meeting Tamlin would work, as well.

Emerys - This one is a short answer, but the nuance and personal significance of this one makes up for it. Either asking the person impersonating him why he isn't wearing the locket, or asking them to explain the significance of Tamlin's habit of brushing his fingers across his ribs whenever he's about to do something reckless/foolish.

Nyra - It would be relatively easy to determine visually. She has a scar on the bridge of her nose that is very faint, and silver in color. Beyond that, asking her which of them is the oldest - Emerys or herself - would be a good starting point.

Sahar - Quizzing him about how many strings a specific instrument has, or asking what profession he wanted before he became a luthier.

For #16: What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

Nix - It's predominantly one specific person: his father. This is less frequent than it used to be, now that he's openly defied his father's directive where Osorin is considered. Beyond that, callous people, those who undermine his intelligence simply because he chose to serve in the military, and anyone obsessed with vengeance over mercy, the majority of the time. He frequently argues with the dead, as their voices are always louder than anyone else's inside his head.

Caelan - Caelan is more down to earth and pragmatic than argumentative. However, he certainly continues certain conversations in his head, at times. He usually argues with people who poach, people who involve themselves in the exotic animal trade (dragons, kelpies, etc.,) people who are selfish. Anyone who assumes that being fem makes him less capable/weaker, and those who treat him differently once they discover that he's more forest than elf.

Lysias - People who speak without thinking, people who act before they think. Corrupt people in power, those who refuse to see the worth/value in the people they rule. Anyone who feels that rules are a suggestion, rather than a mandate for conduct.

Emerys - He doesn't usually waste his time arguing. If a person can't be persuaded or reasoned with, he considers it a waste of time. However, he'd likely argue - and passionately - with anyone who spoke against the Summer Court, and certainly anyone who required that he sacrifice his personal freedom.

Aenan - Anyone who is intolerant, or who wholeheartedly supports oppression/subjugation or injustice. Anyone who judges people on their appearance, or assumes that lacking magical or combat prowess means a person has no value. He'd also argue with anyone who was needlessly cruel.

Nyra - Nyra is likely to hold extensive arguments with anyone who tries to undercut her and the prices she charges for her mercenary work, by virtue of being a woman. She doesn't tolerate inequality, bigotry, or sexism, and has no patience for self-sacrificing behavior or general idiocy.

Sahar - Also predominantly his father, who is domineering and controlling. He resents being told how to live his life/what's best for him. He'd also argue with anyone prone to dismissing his idealistic hopes/views as unrealistic or naive.

For #28 - What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

Nix - He often tells Osorin that he has no other desire or ambition beyond continuing to serve as a captain in Avellyn's militia. He does not actually want this. His entire worth has been measured by the fact that he is a status symbol and a living weapon for his father - his only worth, in other words, is his potential to serve and eventually die for his kingdom. He'd much rather become a tailor or a poet, and would like to be a spy/outreach ambassador to assist local communities and kingdoms.

Caelan - For Rhys to retire, and live a quiet, normal life. He does want this, sincerely; he's eager to show Rhys that there's an entire world to explore, and life beyond their village/forest in general. He wants him to find his spark for exploration/adventure for the sake of it again.

Lysias - To serve the crown, and uphold Felwydd's goals, visions, and laws. To serve as an extension of his will and voice, while being a pillar of support and protection as needed. This is his long term goal, and also something he deeply desires/genuinely wants.

Aenan - He often says that he doesn't want anything, other than for the people he cares about to be happy. While this is true, he'd also like to travel/adventure with his partners, but doesn't bring it up, as he knows he'd be a liability/doesn't have much he can contribute.

Emerys - Personal freedom, and to continue to serve the Summer Court. In reality, he only desires his personal freedom, and to accompany Tamlin on his various adventures.

Nyra - Either renown or infamy. She'd settle for the occasional rush and someone waiting for her at home when she returned from hunting quarry.

Sahar - To help people. While true, he specifically wants to join an order of knights/become a paladin, in order to dedicate his life to the cause of helping who he can.

For #42 - If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

Nix - What to do in the aftermath of birthing a deity from a sucking chest wound. The title would be 'Confronting The Omnipotent.'

Caelan - Best practices for repopulating a forest and encouraging the removal of invasive species and diseases after a devasting magical calamity/ disease razes everything you've ever known. The title would be: 'Your Greed is Killing The Fucking Earth.'

Lysias - Surviving other planes, and embodying your grief. The title would easily be 'How to Fake Your Own Death and Grieve.'

Aenan - How to launch your career as a master mixologist by creating an entirely new magical wine. The title would be 'Turning Wine into Gold.'

Emerys - Fey courts and politics. The title would likely be 'How to pull a Faerie King.'

Nyra - How to track, identify, and ultimately kill legendary magical creatures for fun and profit. The title would be 'For Guts and Glory.'

Sahar - Various techniques for carving the perfect stringed instrument. 'Finding Your Perfect Note' would be the title.

Thanks for the ask! Always happy to talk about these guys.

#ask game #oc asks #OC questions #Nix tag.#Lysias tag.#Caelan tag.#Emerys tag.#Aenan tag.#Nyra tag.#Sahar tag.#my ocs #original fantasy #original character #d&d 5e #d&d oc

2 notes · View notes

mermaidsirennikita · 1 year

Text

ARC Review: A Wicked Game by Kate Bateman

4/5. Releases 12/27/2022.

Morgan Davies and Harriet Montgomery have grown up in families that at odds--but while they don't get along, they aren't quite enemies. Before Morgan goes off to sea, Harriet promises him that if he comes back alive, he'll get to give her three kisses--wherever he wants. Years later, he returns after being imprisoned with a whole new perspective. He wants Harriet for his own, not as a friend or an enemy, and he'll use those three kisses as a good little jumping off point for his plans to win her.

So to be super real, this one doesn't have like, a huge PLOTTY PLOT PLOT thing. It's mostly a sexy romantic comedy that focuses on two people who are fun and likable and hot and don't have deep internal issues aside from not quite knowing how to go from friendly rivals to lovers. (I mean, he totally knows how, she's just a bit less experienced.) And normally, I think that would bug me, a supreme lover of angst and fucked upedness and drama. But here? It really didn't. It was pretty delightful. Why?

What Worked:

--Morgan and Harriet have great chemistry and read like two people who've known each other since childhood. And even if they've never been like, confidants, they know one another deeply due to that proximity, and know how to push each other's buttons.

--Tonally speaking, their relationship absolutely had the vibe of the "This Is My Idea" from The Swan Princess, which I know is deeply ingrained in the minds of many romance readers of a certain age. If you liked that, you'll like this. Morgan and Harriet are that without the arranged marriage, and with a good deal more emotional maturity (but not so much that the story is boring) and no insta-love. It's pretty clear that these two have had a thing for each other since they were kids, and it just took some good old-fashioned imprisonment for Morgan to go "ARRANGE THE MARRIAGE!!!"

--The supporting cast is hilarious (I assume we'll get a Rhys book... I mean his name is fucking Rhys and he doesn't wanna get married...?) and anyone who enjoys "everyone can see it" will have a good time with them.

--This is actually a pretty hot trad historical romance, I've gotta say, especially for one that's a bit lower angst. There's really good flirting, you get some light blindfold action, a lot of foreplay--I mean, the three kisses are essentially a sex bet. And it never feels like Harriet is in over her head, though Morgan is obviously much more experienced than she is and knows exactly what he's doing with this three kisses shit; Bateman does some maneuvering to make sure it feels super consensual. Which, honestly, isn't always a must for me as a reader, but it's a must for the tone of this book. And then you get some last minute shenanigans that I didn't expect but was super into.

--Great grand gesture, much appreciate.

--Going back to that sex stuff though... How refreshing to have a good bit of sex in the book, acknowledge Harriet's worries about ruination... and then go "well, shit happens". I'm so over historical romance reviewers (some of which I'm sure will dog this book out) acting as if nobody had sex before marriage in Days of Yore. And everyone who did was found out and ruined.

First off, as with today, money and the right connections can get you a fuckton of leeway. The Duchess of Devonshire literally had a child out of wedlock with a future prime minister, and with the right maneuvering, got back to her top spot in society in no time. And she was not the only one. People could be scandalous, and still received, because you had no choice but to receive them. And considering how much historical romance focuses on the upper crust...

Aside from that, it's just like--cool, so we'll accept all the dukes and the hot people with all their teeth and the lack of STIs but we won't accept people fucking out of wedlock just for fun? Okay!!!

But that's a huge digression, and I use it to say that I loved how this book treated sex. Harriet lets Morgan do stuff to her because she's curious and it's fun and let's be real, she's highkey in love with him even if she doesn't realize it at the moment. Harriet does some reckless shit because it feels good and she knows how to get away with it. One of my favorite parts of this book was someone realizing that Shit Went Down and going "listen, lots of people do that and we just don't talk about it, you're hardly the first one to go for it". Like... what a nice change of pace. Someone fucked out of wedlock in 18whatever it wasn't the end of the world.

What Didn't Work (For Me):

--There was a last minute plot device danger at the very end that lasted for like 30 seconds, and it felt pretty forced. This is an emotional book, not a plotty book. And that's cool! It wasn't a big detractor, it just didn't super work for me.

If you kinda wanna have fun and read about people who've known each other for years sniping at one another and then raw dogging in a fun environment, this is a great book for you. And a great series--I have yet to read the first, but I totally am, and A Daring Pursuit was really fun as well.

But for reals, don't dare a Davies if you want to keep your tender virginity intact.

Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

#romance novel blogging #arcs #arc reviews #netgalley #book reviews #book recs

5 notes · View notes

nikethestatue · 3 years

Note

Greetings, Nike.

I am starting to genuinely feel worried about the credibility of Elriel. On all social media platforms (other than Tumblr for my algorithm), I really only see Gwynriel content and theories.

I understand and believe Elriel has canon book content with tons of foreshadow. I truly want them to be endgame. But what if Gwyn is really there for Az? Ngl it kinda terrifies me lol

What if the scene at the end of Azriels bonus chapter was Gwynriel ??? A point a Gwynriel shipper brought up was, Elain doesn’t have the habit of returning gifts. Greysen, Lucien— so why Azriel? I felt a little stumped but I do know it was because she felt rejected.

I just want Elain and Azriel to be together. I need some reassurance lol

Hello!

Firstly, don't worry. Just because they are loud, doesn't mean that they are right. They don't like Elain. That's all. Guess what, many people HATED Nesta (still do), hated Chaol, hated Rowan, hated Rhys (still do)--at the end of the day, it didn't matter. SJM wrote what she wanted to write, told the story she needed to tell, and that was that.

Now, SJM could've written Gwynriel very differently, given something more concrete, given actual interest on part of Azriel towards her, but let's just stick to the beloved POV. If she wanted to set up Gwynriel and since the POV is the the biggest salami out there, hanging for the Gwynriels as 'proof', why, i am curious, would she write the entire part with Elain/Rhys/almost kiss/necklace? She could've just written the Gwyn part. The set up could've been exactly the same--Azriel is returning from Solstice, he is angry, moody, jealous of his brothers, wants a girlfriend. Enter Gwyn! Just write the Gwyn-only portion. Change something with the necklace--let's say he gives her a little gift, even impromptu gift through Clotho. All of that would be much more indicative of interest, of potential.

Instead, you have the Elriel and Rhys portion--where literally, a ton of stuff was suggested, sort of set up, and revealed. Mutual interest, prohibition, Blood Duel, necklace. What exactly was set up in the Gwyn part of the POV? Nothing. She has no bearing on the story as a whole. She is not related to anything that's happening.

Now, onto the necklace. There are different opinions on the significance of the necklace, where some Elriels think he won't play much of a role going forward, like the little book that Cassian tossed into the Sidra. I am of different opinion and I think the necklace will play a role, because I think that the necklace is Made in some way. There is too much back and forth with this necklace, and while I don't think it will play any romantic role/love triangle thing, I think it may possess certain power. That's why Elain (had to) return it. We don't know what Elain knows, what she Sees. We don't know what and how she feels about things. So it's very premature to make any far-reaching opinions about her.

On the surface, and let's stick with that for now, she returned it because it actually shows HOW hurt she was by his rejection. Obviously with Graysen, she couldnt go back to the Human Lands and give the ring back, but she took it off eventually. With Lucien, she keeps showing how indifferent she is towards him through her non-usage of his gifts. With Azriel, it's actually the opposite--it's an action, not passivity. Basically, she is salty. And she lets him know she is salty. She feels rejected and she does the only thing she can in this situation--gives the gift back.

(If somebody thinks that all of this will not be discussed and handled in the next book, well, they are mistaken).

Finally, there is literally no drama, no conflict, no nothing with Gwyn and Az. "I like you, you like me, let's get together'--is that the book? We know SJM will NOT WRITE A LOVE TRIANGLE with two women fighting over a guy. Let's assume Elain steps aside. Gwynriel happens. Then what? That could be done in the first 10 pages. Then what? There never seem to be any answers beyond the vague 'Illyrian plot' which of course is BS. They think she is going to write another book about training? In ACOSF, there was still Nesta (though it seems like people forgot about her), who was Making objects, finding Trove Objects, going to Prison, killing Death Gods, etc. She was the Cauldron Made character with power.

Anyway, I can write and write and write about this...And give like 182718937 examples. :)

Bottom line is, there is no Gwynriel book, as it stands right now. Also, I am pretty sure she'll be given a LI in the next book (not Az), so all of this will be forgotten.

Don't worry. Even ignoring all 4 books of foreshadowing, and going ONLY by the POV, there are like 9 things going on with Elriel that could potentially happen (forbidden romance, Blood Duel, bond rejection? bond acceptance? Rhys vs Az, Lucien, Elain's powers, etc). With Gwyn....no so much.

#pro elriel #elriel #pro elain #elain #acosf #anon ask #anon response

71 notes · View notes

darklove9314-blog · 3 years

Text

So a common thing I see in the fandom is how a lot of people tend to avoid holding the bat boys accountable for nearly anything. Part of the reason I think this is is mostly because of SJM herself. Instead of presenting the bat boys as these flawed character, she tries to convey them as the epitome of perfection where nowhere in the actual narrative is that the case. She also never tends to hold them accountable for the actions in her own story (Although she seems to have no problems doing that with her female characters.) Let me explain.

With Rhysand, his character has done so many terrible things and the fandom still feels the need to justify his actions. I feel if Rhys was held accountable for his actions he would be a better character overall, because in no way, shape, or form should the UTM stuff or the Nyx situation would ever fly in real life. It’s also quite concerning how it seems like SJM would just like us to forget what Rhys did all together. She never even has Feyre bring it up except in ACOMAF. Just because Feyre forgave him for what happened doesn’t mean he still didn’t do a shitty thing. And it doesn’t help when he’s done horrible things and judges other people who have objectively done lesser offenses than himself. And he also never apologized to Feyre for keeping the news about their child from her, or at least that was never addressed in the narrative, but SJM had no trouble placing Nesta under the line of fire for telling Feyre. Yes Nesta did a shitty thing but that doesn’t meant the rest of the IC didn’t also do a shifty thing, She shouldn’t have been the only one who had to apologize.

Next up Cassian, yes I know a lot of the fandom including myself love him, but he’s always been a flawed character. One reason why I always favored Nessian over Feysand was because they at least tried to hold each other accountable for things. And then ACOFAS/ACOSF happened. I was in the minority of people who sided with Nesta when it came to the argument between her and Cassian. Or rather I recognized both of them said hurtful things during this conversation. but the only one who apologized for the things said was Nesta herself. She held herself accountable and instead of Cassian owning up to the fact that he also said some pretty hurtful things and had put his own feelings above the fact that and at a was dealing with her own issues. All he says is that he already forgave her. Which would be fine in retrospect, but I also read ACOFAS, I understood how Cassian’s words were harmful because he was speaking out of anger (Which him and Nesta both have a habit of doing, but Nesta seems to be the one held most accountable. If Nesta‘s lashing out because she’s hurting, the fandom sees her as a bitch, but if Cassian is lashing out because he’s hurting then that makes it okay??? that’s a double standard of I ever heard one) And we can sit here and talk for hours about his behavior in ACOSF, but I digress, Cassian is not the perfect man. That was the reason why he was my favorite, but SJM trying to make it seem like he had no fault in the last two books really rubbed me the wrong way. (Hold your male characters just as accountable Sarah!!!)

and Lastly Azriel. I know Azriel is a fan favorite, and there are times where I genuinely like Azriel, but I see a lot of people hate Mor because she’s not being honest with Azriel. First off Mor should never have to feel like she has to come out to anyone. She has given Azriel clear signs that she’s not interested in him short of telling him to stay the hell away from her there’s not much else Mor could realistically do (and yes I also hold Mor accountable for her part in this whole Cassian/ Azriel situation. I hate how she uses Cassian as a buffer for centuries) but Azriel should have also taken the hint sooner. Despite his feelings of not wanting to be alone, he should have moved on centuries ago. The obsession with Mor is honestly not healthy in the slightest, And Rhys just letting them work it out themselves is obviously not helping either. Dude you know he’s making your cousin uncomfortable. You‘re allowed to do something about it if you’re the feminist you claim you are. Also I also see the fandom hate on Gwyn for having an interest in Azriel. If Elain and Azriel don’t end up together it won’t be Gwyn‘s fault. The necklace situation was entirely on him and him alone. I hate how people assume it will put Elain and Gwyn against each other when reasonably they should both be pissed at Azriel when they find out. because neither of them did anything wrong in that situatio. Also to circle back to the Mor thing he let her feelings for her known in the most inappropriate time. Like dude she’s just not into you and telling her when she’s just been assaulted is not the way to go.

So in conclusion of the fandom has no trouble holding the Archeron sisters or the other females of the series accountable then it should be no problem holding the bat boys accountable too. people are flawed and both parties in a certain argument can be in the wrong when it comes to certain characters. So hold your favs accountable too!!!

#anti sjm #sjm critical

34 notes · View notes

gwyns · 3 years

Note

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone draw parallels between Feyre leaving Tamlin for her Mate to Elain leaving Azriel for her Mate. (Ignoring the fact I hate Rhysand, the books obviously want me to think he's the best person ever so I'll just pretend). Because that's what I see happening.

Elain and Azriel are so clearly rebounds for one another. Elain's still grieving her human love and life, and Azriel is still hung up on Mor. They're both quiet and available, so they jump to each other. That's it. The Azriel POV was purely about what he wants. How he wants to fuck her and taste her. He's just sex to her.

Even if E/riels had a more convincing case, it's not like SJM hasn't pulled a SIKE on us before. If she goes anywhere with E/riel, she'll undoubtedly pull it back. SJM doesn't take Mating bonds lightly, and she's stated that she loves Lucien. And if anyone deserves the happiness of a bond, it's him.

Feyre and Rhys, and Cassian and Nesta, all had relationships/lovers before Mating. Elain "liking" Az now, (which we're not even clear on), doesn't really mean much.

I'd like to hear your thoughts! You're so good at this, and you always explain my thoughts so perfectly. Love and light 💕💕💕

honestly there are quite a few feysand/elucien parallels that people either don't see or choose to ignore.

rhysand was first presented as a villain to feyre, the same could be applied to lucien just bc of his envolvement with tamlin (that he wrongfully gets blamed for btw idk why e/riels love blaming tamlin's mistakes on lucien). feyre was engaged before she went to rhys, elain was engaged before she met lucien. both were/are? still hung up on their former fiances. feysand as a couple represents the night, elucien would represent (at least in part) day. it's literally night and day with them. they're similar but also wholly their own pairing, it's fascinating to me.

anyway i think i will use this ask to spill some of my e/riel opinions sorry about that! alright let's start off with this controversial statement: i don't think e/riel was ever meant to be endgame.

i've seen it said a few times over the years that sarah changed her mind about elucien and while that's possible bc she also previously changed her mind on lucien and nesta one has to ask themselves..... if she wanted to write a mate bond rejection why didn't she stick with her original plan of lucien and nesta being mates? she's said herself that they wouldn't work but she chose to change lucien's mate to someone who compliments him better, and it's to feyre's other sister no less. that tells me lucien is important and powerful, he's mated to one of the sisters, one of the key players of the entire series.

another point is we can assume (and we could be wrong, let me put this here before someone yells at me or vague blogs about it) that sjm had an elucien endgame in mind when writing acowar, right? and when she was touring for that book hadn't she already started work on acofas? and we know that she's never on social media, so if she had an elucien endgame in mind when she wrote all of the supposed e/riel "evidence" where does that leave us?

drama. tension. conflict. angst.

i think that's what it all comes down to. people will say that elucien was a front while e/riel is the true endgame but... it all seems a bit easy, doesn't it? e/riel is right in your face while elucien is silently brewing in the background. what if the bait and switch isn't elucien, but e/riel?

sarah has shown us before that she likes to use her characters as ways for her other characters to end up with their endgame matches. for example, without tamlin, feyre wouldn't have met rhys. and moving over to throne of glass for a second, if not for chaol, aelin wouldn't have met rowan. and in turn, if aelin hadn't given yrene the money she needed in tab, chaol wouldn't have met her.

are the e/riel scenes romantically coded? yes, probably. i'm not saying they aren't, some people picked up on it but i personally didn't get that vibe myself, especially in acowar, but acofas kinda blurred the lines a bit. but even then, i didn't think they'd work out and i still don't understand the arguments that are supposed to be in their favor from that book. elain says she doesn't want a male so that excludes lucien but not azriel somehow? that line means she doesn't want any fae, she wants a human man, she wants graysen. then we have lucien saying he can't even stand to be in the same room as elain which i never read as a "oh i hate this person" kinda way. no, it's bc the whole situation between them is awkward and it obviously makes both of them uncomfortable. it doesn't help when literally all of the inner circle is constantly around them, and being in the night court in general doesn't give them the privacy to get to know each other.

some people like to ask why build e/riel up at all if they're not going to be together? one thing i've always loved about sjm's books is how she can write relationships. now, let's say you meet someone irl and you like them, eventually maybe fall in love with them, and fail to notice how they're not good for you. maybe everyone around you can see it, but you don't. you want a relationship and you're in a decent one, it should work out. like they're not a bad person, this relationship just isn't right for you in the long run. why waste your time? it's life. sometimes things are good for you at a certain point in time but not later on. sometimes you just end up in a relationship that was never good for you. sometimes you fall out of love with someone. you're constantly learning and adapting to things and that's my stance on e/riel. i think they're both looking for companionship and they're the "safest" and most available option.

taking it back to acofas, azriel was relived to not have to get elain a gift and was still gazing longingly at mor. now in acosf he's avoiding talking about her while wanting to fuck elain and getting defensive when helion mentions mor. he's not over her. he's not going to just completely forget 500 years of pining bc elain showed up, especially when they haven't even helped one another to move on. if they had, we would have seen the proof of that. not just "oh she's hot we both want sex", that doesn't make a healthy relationship.

as for elain, she's been taught she has to act a certain way her entire life. she has to downplay her trauma and emotions to appease others so they don't worry about her. maybe she's even had visions involving lucien that upset/scare her somehow and she's reaching out for something else. i think they're both lonely and desperate (at least on az's end) for someone that they ultimately are drawn to the wrong people.

as for the lack of elucien development... this is how i see it. if they're endgame, why would sarah have all of their big moments happen off screen or as a throwaway line in acosf? elain is getting a book, we know this, and with how much of the story is tied to lucien and how much is left unresolved with him, we can also assume he'd get a pov at some point. so imo it makes sense for the fact we got little to no development for them in acosf. no, she wants a huge wedge between them so we can watch them come together. the payoff will be that much sweeter. kinda similar to how she put a wedge between nessian before acosf, sure they had more development in acowar than elucien but i think that's bc sarah knew they'd get the first spinoff. she had to give them that development whereas elucien can wait, a bit longer. it's frustrating yes but i do think we'll get something in acotar 5.

maybe i'm an optimistic fool, maybe sarah did at one point have an endgame in mind for them, but i find it hard to believe she wouldn't see how wrong they are for each other in the long run. she's very good at showing us how well characters fit together with just a few lines.

#sorry this envolved into my rambling lol #i swear i was going to talk more about the feysand/elucien parallels bc i made a list awhile ago #but i forgot some of it so here we are 😬#BUT YOU'RE SO SWEET!! im glad someone enjoys my random thoughts lol #thank you i truly appreciate it 🥺💕#acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames spoilers #asks #aquafaith

66 notes · View notes

hacawijo · 3 years

Text

Azriel never said he was entitled to/deserved to be with Elain, those were Rhys’s words. Azriel said it didn’t make sense for two of the brothers to be with two of the sisters and not the third. Obviously it’s not the healthiest reasoning, but I think he’s reasoning in order to explain his strong feelings for Elain and to make sense of the powerlessness and envy he feels. Imagine pining after someone mostly unavailable and ultimately uninterested in you for 500 years, then finally finding someone else who makes you feel a lot of things and gets you better than maybe anyone else AND who is into you just as much as you are into them (he smells her arousal folks, Elain is super into Azriel and has been forever - literally fight me, I will give you receipts) and then to be forced to watch that person be essentially claimed, against their own preference, by someone else. Also, since when is it not absolutely certain that a fantasy romance ship is happening when someone expressly forbids it for political reasons??? That is such a classic trope!!

Azriel can’t catch a fucking break. How could you not have all of those feelings and then feel like fate screwed you when that person’s two sisters are destined for your two brothers? It’s a rationalization ADDED ON to the feelings he already has for Elain, he doesn’t have feelings for Elain because he thinks he’s entitled to her, he hopes that fate is showing him that his feelings are not in vain (AGAIN).

SJM herself said that she’s sprinkled breadcrumbs about Azriel’s story for a long time, which also makes me think Gwyn isn’t endgame because she’s such a new character. The moment between them in the bonus chapter actually reminds me a lot of Cassian’s moment with Emerie in ACOFAS. A lot of people predicted that he might be torn between her and nesta, but really it was just a way to flesh out that character outside of Nesta’s narrative. It seems more like SJM is trying to incorporate Gwyn into larger parts of the story and as more than just nesta’s friend. Perhaps what we need to glean from his interactions with Gwyn are the things Azriel values, and the personal growth he might go through, in a vocational sense, in the next book.

It makes him happy to make Gwyn happy because he ultimately cares very strongly for people who have suffered and survived and thrived. Cassian cares about what happens to the illyrians, Azriel doesn’t - the Valkyrie (to an extent) and the illyrians are Cassian’s mission, Azriel doesn’t have anything like that, yet. Azriel doesn’t like the violent things he does for the court, and that is probably part of why he feels so unfulfilled and lost. The most valuable things he has done have been the type of thing he did in saving Gwyn at Sangravah and training the priestesses with Cassian. This is all rooted, of course, in the suffering he witnessed his mother go through. All three of the illyrians are defined by the violence and wrongs done to their mothers, and two of them have found ways to make relative peace with those wrongs. Azriel has begun to and has done much to help wronged women and children and people, but I don’t think he’s had his Aha! Moment yet in the way that Rhys and Cassian have. His interaction with Clotho feels like an indication of his greater purpose, an alternative concern to his romantic woes re: Elain.

I’m not saying this means that Gwyn ISNT involved in a romantic way in the next book, but I think it’s hasty to assume it’s romantic just because Azriel has a meaningful, connected moment with her. Think about Manon and Elide or Feyre and Lucien, two friendships that bridged a lot of characters together and that could have gone in a romantic direction but didn’t. She tends to do that more with friendships than romantic relationships I think. I also think there was a clearer indication of Emerie’s interest in Mor than Gwyn’s in Azriel (I know there’s more interaction between Azriel and Gwyn, but Emerie is clearly into Mor when she says she doesn’t come around Windhaven anymore), and it seems almost as tidy to have Azriel and Mor end up with the other two Valkyries as for Azriel to end up with the third sister. Azriel, Mor, and Cassian are very nearly as much a sacred trio as the Illyrians. Also, I think it’s more likely that Mor will end up with Emerie because she hasn’t had a real romantic interest be yet revealed (the only thing I can think of is Viviane’s younger sister, but that was also superrrrrrrrrr subtle and I might have read too far into the text) and SJM pretty much never decides to start those in the course of one book (of which this extra Azriel POV chapter would be a part).

I also just want to say that Elain has been consistently uncomfortable with Lucien. He gets her the gloves for solstice, and it’s because he has a fundamental misunderstanding of her as a person. He sees her as something delicate to be sheltered and protected from thorns and elements, but that’s actually one of the things Elain loves most about gardening, and is probably how she wishes she could live her life if given the freedom and confidence. In the Feysand chapter, Feyre specifically mentions the gloves that Lucien got Elain and the consequences of Elain not wearing them. On the surface it seems silly because she hurt herself, using the gloves makes total sense, but Rhys and Feyre are actually talking about Elain as someone who is growing and who actually likes to get dirty and FEEL things. It would make COMPLETE sense for Elain to be with Lucien, he’s her mate and he’s courtly and traditional (for a high fey, anyway) and it would be very politically tidy. But maybe this new, changed Elain just doesn’t want that anymore. Maybe she thinks Azriel’s scarred hands are beautiful because they’re nothing other than what they are, and she’s not afraid of having her own scars (I.e. the thorns).

I don’t know for sure that it’s a great sign that Azriel got Elain jewelry. That could be an indication that he sees her beauty and delicacy similarly to the way Lucien does, and certainly he is protective of Elain. BUT think it could mean something different because it was juxtaposed with the pearl earrings that Lucien gave Elain. They were plain, we’ve never had any indication that Elain is interested in pearls or even regular jewelry. SJM OBVIOUSLY put much more thought into the description of the necklace and AZRIEL OBVIOUSLY put much more thought into his gift for Elain than Lucien did. He thought about Elain and what she means to him and gave her something that appears gently beautiful and informal but is even more lovely when someone PAYS CLOSER ATTENTION TO IT, as Azriel always does with everything, and especially Elain.

just can’t imagine SJM having anything that is awkward and at best uncomfortable and uncommunicative turn into an endgame relationship. Elain and lucien have no passion, neither sexual nor antagonistic nor romantic. All of her relationships tend to involve a pretty instant attraction and ongoing tension with tiny little moments sprinkled in from the get. Elain is only ever uncomfortable around Lucien. On the other hand, she is innately comfortable with Azriel pretty immediately (again ask for receipts and I will give them).

They also meet each other pre-cauldron, Lucien is literally like, “she’s my mate!” During one of the most traumatic and dissonant moments of Elain’s life. Remember how much Rhys DIDNT MAKE FEYRE’S LIFE OR TRAUMA ABOUT HIM???? He waited FOREVER to tell her about the bond, was pretty certain he could never be with her, would have been happy to never tell her and just have her be happy. Cassian was pretty sure of the bond with nesta and did not come close to mentioning it until they declared themselves together forever. Rowan and Aelin were also terrified to admit to each other that they were mates, again because they worried what it might do to negatively affect the other. But there’s Elain, fresh outta the cauldron, they all heard her screams and saw her terror and despair, and the first thing he says is “she’s MY mate.”

Also want to be clear I’m not trying to hate on Lucien. I mentioned above that Lucien is used to being pretty courtly and traditional, I think he was raised in the autumn court and has a very traditional understanding of what the mating bond means. I don’t think he is ever trying to claim Elain because he’s inherently trying to ignore her wishes or control her, but because he feels that bond and believes in the fact that it is sacred. Elain was born human, doesn’t really understand the significance of mates the way Lucien does. Of course she wouldn’t have a matching reverence. Elain is used to love and building trust and a relationship with someone over time and with patience. Which is exactly how her relationship with Az progresses.

Really think about Elain and Lucien, what about them seems compatible? He plays the game, he’s clever, his specialty is in people and he likes to have repartee with those he’s close to. Elain is pretty much always herself, she doesn’t change to suit her company, and she frankly doesn’t seem to love figuring people out. She loves being with the people she loves, but the politics of people don’t interest her - nature interests her. She’s kind in a way that Lucien would probably probably find boring in someone who isn’t his mate. In ACOSF, nesta is constantly thinking about the difference in her relationship with her mother from the relationships her mother had with her sisters. She makes it really clear that Elain never knew how to handle people in the same way as nesta or any courtier, and that she wasn’t really all that interested in intrigue or politic (which is why their mother was never interested in Elain). Elain and Lucien do not understand each other and do not understand the other’s passions or motivations. I like Lucien, I don’t love him the way that some folks do, probably because I never really got over his failure to feyre in ACOMAF, but I do want him to be happy. I think he can’t give Elain what she wants or needs and vice versa.

Lastly I want to talk about symmetry and fresh narrative. At this point, mating bonds are pretty played out. SJM has set a lot of groundwork re: the fact that mating bonds are NOT always perfect, and are NOT always happy. Rhys talks a lot about his mother and father. They were very unhappy together; they did not understand each other. It sounds like Rhys’s father was a politician and Rhys’s mother was wild and raw and genuine. This is part of the reason he waits so long to tell Feyre about the bond (and obviously he doesn’t even get to tell her, she finds out on her own). I am definitely not trying to say that Lucien is like Rhys’s father, he’s not, he’s a much better person, but I do think that the differences in Rhys’s parents’ values and passions mirror the dissonance that can be felt between Lucien and Elain as well. I think all of the wind was taken out of the relationship before it started because Lucien named Elain as his mate so quickly- it was really unearned. It is so EARNED in Feyre and Rhys’s story and Aelin and Rowan’s.

I think the idea of choosing love over nature is actually extraordinary. Elain, who has never really had a choice in her whole life, will make the most subversive and difficult choice of the series by rejecting her mating bond. And Azriel, who has never believed himself worthy of good things, will be chosen over a mating bond because he is so extraordinarily deserving of happiness and love and to be truly chosen as someone else’s paramour even beyond the influence of a mating bond. Is there any greater narrative validation of Azriel than that???? SJM writes grand, dramatic cosmic payback for her characters, and this would be a crowning achievement in that vein.

As for Lucien, what he has needed is a way out of the lines he’s always been expected to live in. He was never at home in the autumn court, he was never truly at home in the spring court, and despite Elain, he is definitely never at home in the night court. Lucien’s love, the thing that made him more happy than anything else in his life, was inherently unconventional, and then the convention he lived in destroyed it. Letting go of Elain and the mating bond will be the best way for him to reject the rules that have confined him for his entire, mostly miserable life. Elain will choose Azriel, and Lucien will choose to let her go, not just for Elain but also for himself. I’m willing to bet he might even give up his immortal life to be with Vassa and Jurian. Obviously that whole trio’s dynamic is still pretty murky, but I THINK he seems to be into Vassa (hell who knows - maybe he’s into jurian). Certainly he is happier with them than he has ever been anywhere else (tamlin was Lucien’s dear friend, but Lucien was also fucking terrified of him), and maybe it’s not and will never be about romantic fulfillment for him. That being said, that seems unlikely given SJM’s tendency to pair off her characters.

As for people being mad about the sex stuff...... have we not been reading the same books? Cassian and Rhys have both made it clear to Feyre that Az can get it, he hasn’t been chastely pining for Mor his whole life. Nesta also specifically confirms in this newest installment that Elain is not a virgin, hello bread crumb set up. Elain and Azriel are both sexually active adults who are sexually attracted to each other. Why should they not be able to have agency over their own sexuality in the same way as all of the other characters? Because they’re shy? Because they seem nicer and gentler?

I think it’s actually really infantilizing to make Elain a victim/inactive participant in her solstice interaction with Azriel. Sure, narrators aren’t always reliable, but SJM always uses the fey scent as a story device to confirm sexual interest and initial/general consent for the reader without suspicion or misinterpretation. I. E. Nesta and cassian both had really warped understandings of how the other felt about them for a lot of ACOSF, but they always came back to knowing for certain that they were sexually attracted to each other. That is something that SJM makes pretty freakin clear in most situations. I don’t think that Azriel thought anything that was darker or dirtier than anything Rhys or cassian has thought about feyre and nesta. In fact it was definitely less kinky than how cassian and nesta often thought of each other sexually before they really got together.

Also, a lot of elain’s reactions to Lucien in ACOWAR remind me of mor’s reactions to Azriel throughout the series. You could tell she was feeling some type of way, but in reality it was guilt and sorrow that she couldn’t return his feelings, not that she was tortured by her love for him. I feel like when Lucien goes to the continent and Elain displays emotion about it it’s more about the fact that she feels bad she doesn’t feel more for him even though she does feel the bond. I’m sure it was really confusing for her. Elain’s reactions to Azriel, though, remind me more of the little snippets of interaction between Aedion and Lysandra before they had more POV in the ToG series and also those between cassian and nesta in ACOMAF and ACOWAR before THEY had POV chapters.

Wow so yeah here’s my dissertation. I hope someone out there reads this and is like YES THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO SAY, because I love when I find posts like that.

96 notes · View notes

welllpthisishappening · 3 years

Note

Okay can we talk about ACOSF???? Bc on booktok all I’m seeing is so much negativity about how people don’t like feysand or don’t like nesta but?? I read this book, loved it, thought nesta grew SO much and we got to see feysand from a different POV which gave them depth! Plus a baby!!! I can talk about it forever

We can absolutely talk about ACOSF. I have thoughts, feelings, opinions and this is going to get long. And, uh, any of those super negative critiques:

Alright, alright, alright, so initial feelings? I enjoyed it a lot. Like, way more than I thought I would honestly because going in I was like eh, Nessian, but I loved Nesta’s character development and the flirt-to-roast ratio with her and Cassian and every single time Cassian called her Nes or God help me ARCHERON, my soul reached another plane of existence. Don’t even get me started on that one time she called him General. The noise I made was not audible to human ears.

That said, there were some parts that I was like: oh ok, that’s happening. So, because I cannot function without organization, let’s break down some of the major things that happened into a LIST WITH OPINIONS ATTACHED

Sexual Tension Fucking fuck, these two idiots. Pining after each other while both desperately wanting someone, anyone, to be like — please stay in bed and cuddle me all night?!?! Idiots. Both of them flush with power and the ability to make people legit terror before them and they’re so goddamn soft with each other. Which is kind of hysterical because they are also able to rip each other to shreds? Oh my God, some of those fight scenes, I just—my heart was in my throat. And I do not want to hear a single word of how CASSIAN IS MEAN TO NESTA? Were we reading the same book, internet? Bro is In Love. From the G E T.

Which leads us to—

S O L S T I C E God, rip my romantic-loving heart out of my body. Learning what was in the box from the solstice before made me screech and then the music. THE MUSIC. Can we talk about Cassian, feared general, dude who has canonically lost track of how many people he has killed, cornering an ENTIRE ORCHESTRA to recreate music for Nesta? I just—f u c k. It was a lot. A lot. And then we circle back around to how soft they were and there’ll never be another and I am going to have to pace around a bit. I loved it. I love them. I nearly screamed when it took Nesta a few more chapters to realize it was a mating bond, and then Cassian just bolted because he also couldn’t quite deal with it, and I am still not super sold on the mating bond, like, as a thing, but I kind of went into this book pretty certain this was going to happen, so...good. Also them arguing by the Sidra, oof.

There was a lot of sex in this book. I knew there was going to be a lot of sex in this book. I must have told my husband four different times, “God, there is a lot of sex in this book.” Some of it was good. Some of it was kind of cloying in its descriptions. I genuinely lol’ed at Nesta fantasizing about being straight up railed by both Cassian and Azriel. (Why was that in there? Still don’t really know, felt a lot like very obvious fan service, but it was also kind of hysterical.)

JEALOUSY DIDN’T MAKE ME WANT TO RIP MY EYES OUT I hate jealousy plots. HATE THEM. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in relationship writing, but I was super into it here??? Cassian cutting in on the dance and TAKING DANCING LESSONS. It was good. I enjoyed it.

Nesta’s Power Yo. YO. This was really cool. She was terrifying and out of control, while also learning how to be in control and intimidating and I was like YES, GET IT. When Rhys flew into the House and Nesta was just wrapped in silver flames, that was super cool. Also Rhys being freaked out by her? Kind of bad ass, honestly. But. But! I wish it was explored even more. I wish we got to learn what she could really do and the extent to which she could do it, because I thought it was a fascinating possibility to parallel Nesta to Feyre and I don’t really think we got that. Like, Feyre Cursebreaker — with power given from all the High Lords, this bringer of new life and a fresh start for all the courts. Then her sister — with power stolen from the Cauldron itself and death at her fingertips. With all the comparisons of Feyre and Nesta, I really figured we’d be gunning towards that eventually ESPECIALLY with Feyre being pregnant, and the idea of life in that capacity. Also, what was the point of Lucien saying “Gods help you all” or whatever he said when he was watching Nesta train if...nothing ever really came from that? We’ll circle back around to that in a second, during what will be my ending-based soliloquy, but first let’s talk about—

Feyre Being Pregnant, Why That Kind of Felt Like Twilight and Why I Get Why Rhys Was Being an Idiot Listen, part of the reason I wanted to read this book was for what I assumed would be the Feysand crumbs we’d get. Most of me was convinced that this book would not take place in Velaris and I was mentally prepared for that. Color me pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t and we got an IC feast. But. But! Part two! I’ve mentioned how I’m never really here for...pregnancy being like this ultimate endgame, and I understand why Feysand wanted a kid and I get it, I do. Just the whole thing with she’s going to DIE felt very Bella Swan, was kind of dramatic in mela-sort of way and I TOTALLY GET WHY RHYS KEPT THE WINGS A SECRET. Was it idiotic? Yeah, of course. But I don’t think we talk about his trauma enough, really. Those fifty years under the Mountain are not just gong to disappear, and I cannot really blame him for totally losing his mind at even the idea of Feyre dying. This is not a dude who is trying to control Feyre. I’ve never felt that way about Rhys. At all. This is a dude who has already lost ALL of HIS control and is desperately trying to hang on. He’s already had his entire world shattered six ways to Sunday, this was obviously going to destroy him. Aside from, y’know, straight up killing him too. (That was dumb, guys.) And I think telling Feyre would have made it REAL for Rhys, which he obviously could not cope with. Was I surprised that Feyre’s pregnancy was such a big plot point in a book that was supposed to be super Nessian focused? Yeah, for sure. But also—I like established relationships and Feyre and Rhys could not stop making eyes at each other. Not totally here for the deadly pregnancy trope, not totally here for using family as a trauma recovery, but sort of understand it.

Training, Valkyries and Friendship Bracelets Like I said, I thought this book was gong to take place in the Illyrian camps way more than it did, but I L O V E D the training sessions. Adored Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn’s friendship and how often they teamed up to snark Cassian and Azriel. I was painfully here for all three of them together and the sleepover in the House warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart. Especially when the bracelets proved so important during the Blood Rite. Which—let’s talk about the Blood Rite. Didn’t expect that!! Was pleasantly surprised by that!! Nesta drawing the literal line in the dirt made me fist pump the air. (And is another parallel to Feyre and her taking inspiration from old Fae legends, but that’s neither here nor there, whatever I’m not here to harp on missed opportunity.) I thought it was really important that all three of them got to showcase their own power too, and how they worked SO WELL together and I was just really glad that there was such focus on this sisterhood outside of literal sisterhood. I thought those relationships were so well done and it was just such a joy to read about their growth and strength and I loved them. Am I here for Gwyn and Azriel? Maybe. Possibly more here for Emerie and Mor? Maybe maybe.

The House I thought it was Amren, for a very long time. Like secretly helping Nesta still and I was really into that idea and really into Amren not being able to totally let Nesta go and I wasn’t really into Nesta bowing to Amren.

THE ENDING Oh my God, so much happened. So quickly. With some occasionally jarring scene cuts. The Blood Rite surprised me, but I was not surprised by Cassian getting ensnared by the crown. Fully expected something like that to happen, was still making ridiculous noises when he tried to turn the dagger on himself instead of killing Nesta. LOST MY MIND WHEN NESTA UNMADE THE QUEEN. I’m still sort of...confused about the Trove, though. I know there are a fair number of hanging plot threads that are gong to lead into other stories, but I just—I don’t know, when they were talking about the High King and everything I sort of thought they were leading towards Nessian being that. I know the whole IC was very into Rhys and thematically it made sense, but also let’s consider—I don’t want that? Rhys needs to get his shit in order and his own Court to calm the fuck down and again I think the potential for LORD OF THE BASTARDS and LADY DEATH to ascend to this position of power and lead the world into this new era was there and I just, I don’t know, I liked the idea of it. Particularly when so many people have referred to Nesta as a Queen. That whole thing in the prison happened, y’know? I’m not sure (read: I’m fairly positive) that won’t happen now, especially because Nesta gave up so much of her power to save Feyre. And I know that’s a TALKING POINT™ but also...I was pretty cool with that? Once it came out that Feyre was going to die, it made sense that Nesta would be the one to save her—to twist death again, and kind of seize control of it. Granted, I’m still a little confused by the Trove and what everyone’s going to do with all that power, but Nesta saving Feyre was this perfect sort of wrap up. For me, at least. I think they balance each other out in a lot of respects, and that was really the last step of Nesta’s growth. Also, uh, back on my Feysand ‘ish and Rhys screaming and crying and trying to get to Feyre? o o o f. Also, also, RHYS BOWING TO NESTA. I CANNOT TELL YOU THE LAST TIME I CRIED AT A BOOK, BUT I CRIED AT THIS BOOK. RHYS, BABY, I ADORE YOU.

Nesta Finding Herself I just really—liked it. I think sometimes in these sorts of stories we get people who are so focused on characters being “the bitch” and having an edge and we have a tendency to think that’s what makes them STRONG. Nah, that ain’t it, son. I don’t want to read about someone being a dick just for sake of being a dick. Nesta was NOT IN A GOOD PLACE. She was self-imploding and destroying herself and getting her POV made it blatantly clear that she thought she deserved that. That she truly believed she didn’t deserve anyone else. And as much as the romance was good and the friendships were fantastic, the key to this story was Nesta (as cheesy as it sounds) learning to love herself. To find worth in her own self. Reading about Nesta simply learning to want to live again, for no one except herself, was really, really good and I think, for the most part, well done. Which is why it makes sense that Nesta gives up some of her power. This isn’t about being A BAD BITCH, PATENT PENDING. This is about love, and joy and embracing your own faults. I get the disappointment over Nesta losing her power. I do. But I’m not sure she totally did? Maybe that’s too positive, or too naive, or something, but...whatever.

Other things that I really enjoyed, include but are not limited to: Cassian having allergies Nesta absolutely decimating Tamlin. And Tamlin’s just like...a lion all the time now, huh? And, uh, also is Tamlin Gwyn’s dad??? Like, is that a thing? Am I crazy? Nesta telling Elain to fuck off (Also, Elain—darling, I wish you got more character development. Elain is to SJM what Belle is to me in CS fic. Sometimes I think she just forgets about her.) Azriel calling out Cassian for getting BLOWN at the dining room table Azriel getting Nesta a Solstice gift and then THEY HUGGED Nesta wanting an over the top mating ceremony. Get it, girl. Feyre going full on Court of Nightmares in the Hewn City Nesta making it down the steps

Other things I thought we’d get more of and just...didn’t Whatever the fuck Lucien has been up to, and more on the continent with Vassa and Juran More stuff in Illyria Reaction to the trio in the Blood Rite Amren and Nesta reconciling. I know Nesta apologized, but Amren kind of got on my nerves. Nesta understandably criticizing the IC and their tendency to get a little sanctimonious. THREE SISTER PEAKS. THREE BAT BOYS. THREE VALKYRIE. WHAT IS IT SARAH? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

#acosf #acosf spoilers #nessian #a court of silver flames #a court of silver flames spoilers #oh my god this is so long #i'm really not here for the negativity #so i will not engage with that #stealing-vengence #laura rambles #laura reads books

9 notes · View notes

at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 4 years

Note

][Valentine's Day Alphabet for Mahogany][ A || B || E || F || G || H || I || J || K || L || P || Q || R || T || U || X || Y

@blind-mutant

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

Maggi Moo is rather physical with their affection for the most part, by slumping against Rhys and gentle headbutts. To them, relaxing your body around someone and trusting them with yourself is the highest form of affection.

But they probably pick up some stuff when they figure out what Rhys likes and Mahogany will pay more attention to getting gifts though and the most common ones are either things they have killed for their mate or little trinkets and flowers that they find.

B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Nah, flowers mean nothing to them. Sure, they look nice sometimes but Mahogany just either munches a flower because they spotted a bug on one or they just ignore flowers. Rhys makes them notice flowers a lot more though. If they had to choose, Mahogany would simply say sky flowers or bright flowers (aka blue and yellow flowers).

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Mahogany really enjoys hugs once it becomes clear that Rhys likes them too and it's something they can do nicely! They're very constricting in hugs, in the sense that Mahogany will wrap themselves full bodily around Rhys and tangle their limbs up with him. They're long and lanky - a human noodle - so there's a lot of them all around him. They have the type of crushing hugs where Rhys is left gasping a little if they're over excited and the soft gentle hugs are saved for when Rhys is upset or after sex.

F : FLIRT. is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Mahogany is...not that good at flirting. Mostly because why play about with words when they can just tell Rhys they want his whole fist inside of them? It's so much more easier to male Rhys blush and squirm when they're brutally honest and it's even funnier to smell him getting horny when they're so close yet so far from wherever they're staying at.

But they adore it when Rhys flirts with them, it makes Mahogany feel special and happy to hear Rhys talk so sweetly to just them.

H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

It's an honest fifty fifty. Mahogany wouldn't exactly trust anyone, what with their experiences of humans, but once you do win their trust? Then you're pack! Mahogany is part of you and you're part of them. They're heart is entirely devoted and Rhys is extra since he's all they have.

But admittedly they were rather quick in giving their heart to him since they assumed he was one of them when they first met anyway. Admittedly when I think about it, they probably become a bit more sensitive to Rhys's lies since they sting so badly.

I : I LOVE YOU. does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Mahogany is someone who feels rather intensely (very different from their pack) but never quite has the words for how they feel? Its maddening. And once they meet Rhys, who seems to have all the words for everything in their heart? Mahogany is smitten and tries to find all the ways they can scream their love back. It's easy for them to tell Rhys that they love him. But it's also hard too in all the worst ways.

J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Yes. Unless Mahogany is certain that someone is theirs' as well? Definitely you can expect them to scowl and most likely do worst things if they think someone is coming near their mate. Mahogany wouldn't ever worry about Rhys cheating, it goes without saying that they would wear him as clothes, but its other people who never get the damn message, so obviously Mahogany must throughly snarl at people and fuck Rhys every night and day to make sure people can smell them on him, no matter how many showers he has.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Ehhhhh I don't think so? They're messy and honestly, if I want to go a bit deeper into the lore of Mahogany's body and get weird, I'd say that Mahogany doesn't have the mouth for kissing? Like, you know how animal bones are structured different from humans? That. I mean, holy shit, that would add a new level to their body horror honestly, not being able to properly smile or chew like a person? Tbh it'd be a big difference to show that Rhys is a first generation wendigo and Mahogany is a third since his bones would stay relatively unchanged.

Anyway I'm getting off topic and thinking about biology sorry. Aside from all of that, Mahogany is probably far too sloppy and rough to be a good kisser in most people's eyes but Rhys is not only blind, but a weirdo who seems like the kind of guy who would enjoy being thoat fucked by their tongue so..I guess to him they're a good kisser???

L : LOVE. who does your muse love?

They know that they loved their pack, Mahogany knows that they loved their others, little bodies squirming with them under roots of big trees, waiting for a bigger to leave food behind. They know that they loved Older Alpha, who looked at them so sweetly and so sadly and took care of them, even when their jaw was torn out. Knowing that they loved all of those people just makes it all the more harder to know that they lost those people though.

But Mahogany loves Rhys because he's with them and he's the sweetest person they've ever known, how could they not adore him? He's all they need really.

Mahogany wonders sometimes about whether or not they love their mother though. They don't think she would have loved them back.

P : PARTNER. what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Mahogany wants someone who's inhuman for sure, mostly because any normal human or human looking person has a quicker chance of being devoured by them. It's more or less the chemistry they have with someone that catches Mahogany's eye than an actual personality trait really.

But still, Mahogany does like someone who isn't afraid to snarl and smile at them.

Q : QUESTION. would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

I mean...Mahogany basically already considers themself married to Rhys. They're pack and they're going to stay together! They're mates! It's probably gonna be a small sucker punch for Rhys when he realises that oh shit Mahogany's basically considered themself married to him since they met. Its fully up to him really if he wants to make a show about asking them or have extra special sex really. They just love their man, you know?

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

Definitely a little romantic! If Mahogany was human, they'd definitely be the type to always put on really cheesy chick flicks during sleepovers not to mention the one who binges shape of water and writes Frankenstein fanfics. They swoon over Rhys at least once a day otherwise they'll explode.

T : TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?

They do but they don't realise it. Mahogany knows that they're meant to be with Rhys and absolutely nothing can tear them apart because Mahogany will tear people apart first. No one makes them feel like Rhys does, so obviously it has to be special, right?

U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken?

No, Mahogany hasn't ever been close enough to anyone for that. Well, unless you count Rhys telling them he isn't a wendigo heartbreak, then yeah, they're pretty upset and heartbroken about that since it's basically ripping the last piece they thought they had of themselves away.

X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names?

Mahogany loves being called sweet things form Rhys! It makes their stomach all flippy and makes their face hot and blushy! They eventually get the hang of nicknames and that's where "Bunny" comes from since he's soft like one and bunnies are very fun to catch and eat when its wintertime. They get huffy if Rhys doesn't call them a sweet name at least once a day.

Y : YOURS. does your muse get protective easily?

Yes, I'd say so judging by the amount of times Mahogany has probably tried to attack people over Rhys, whether they've warranted it or not. Rhys is the only good thing they have left, of course they need to protect him!

#ask #headcanon #the monster of forgotten midnights (mahogany)#blind-mutant

3 notes · View notes

walkerismychoice · 6 years

Text

What’s Meant to Be - Part 2 (Liam X MC)

Book: The Royal Romance

Summary: Riley has realized a little too late she shouldn’t marry Maxwell. She seeks advice from a trusted friend before having the hardest conversation of her life.

Authors Note: This was going to be part 2 of 2, but it is now part 2 of 3. It started to get long, and I felt the need to break here and focus on the good stuff in the last part.

Rating: PG-13

Tag List: Tagging people who requested a part 2/asked to be tagged

@boneandfur, @debramcg1106, @pbchoicesobsessed, @writtenbycandy, @bobasheebaby, @katurrade, @blackcatkita, @confessionsofabrokegirl, @laniquelove, @christopher-powell, @leelee10898, @ninamckenzie22, @speedyoperarascalparty, @choicesbyjade, @theroyalweisme, @stopforamoment, @descendants-mylife, @liamskinkyqueen, @tmarie82, @hhiggs, @liam-rhys

Word Count: 1810

What's Meant to Be - Part 1 (NSFW)

Riley was a mess. She knew had to talk to him. He was the only person who could help her see this objectively. She practically ran down the palace hallways, barefoot and clad only in her silk robe, to get there before she broke down. She knocked on his door praying he would answer and let her in before one of the palace guards came by to check out the commotion. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and tears starting to well in her eyes.

“Come on, please open the door,” she muttered under hear breath. She was just about to give up and run who knows where when the door opened.

“Brooks, what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting your beauty sleep? And why aren’t you dressed?” Drake was wearing pajama shorts, his eyes heavy with sleep. He looked her up and down and stopped on her face, probably noticing the look of despair. “Never mind, just come in and we can talk about it.” He stepped aside and motioned for her to enter. Riley sat on the bed and Drake sat down with a respectable distance between them. “So, do you feel like telling me what’s going on? I assume you need something if you are here at this hour, the night before your wedding, talking to me instead of your fiance. Did Maxwell do something to you?”

Riley shook her head no and burst into tears, letting it all pour out. “It’s not him,” she let out between sobs. “It’s me. I’m a terrible person.”

Drake tentatively wrapped his arms around her. “No matter what happened, I know that’s not true.” Riley inched closer and buried her head in his chest and the tears poured out even faster. Drake tightened his embrace, his touch absorbing at least a bit of her pain.” Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

Riley remained motionless until she could speak coherently again. She sat up and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. “I thought I could do it Drake. I thought I wanted to. I told myself I was over Liam and that Maxwell would make me happier, but I don’t know if that’s true anymore.”

“Oh...the timing is pretty shitty, isn’t it?...I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant-”

“No, you’re right,” Riley interjected. “You’d think I could have realized this before now, but then I slept with Liam...” It slipped out before she had a chance to think about it.

“Yeah, he, uh told me about that.” Drake ran a hand through his hair. “Turns out he’s not over you either. Not even a little.”

“Shit.” Riley sighed deeply. She should have been happy that Liam returned her feelings, but it only made her feel guiltier. “I thought I needed to be with him one last time just to get it out of my system. To prove that any lingering feelings were purely physical, but it’s so much deeper than that. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have known better.”

“You can’t beat yourself up over it, Brooks. Liam told me Maxwell gave you permission. There was obviously a reason both of you allowed it to happen.”

“We never discussed specifically who I would be sleeping with, but yeah, he knew it would be Liam. Maxwell has been so insecure about it since, and I thought it was all on him, but now I realize it was me. He knew my heart wasn’t one hundred percent in it, I think even before I did...But Maxwell is a wonderful man. He deserves the world. If Liam wasn’t in the picture, I’d happily marry Maxwell...” Riley trailed off thinking about all the what-ifs.

“But Liam is in the picture.” Drake finished the sentence for her. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I don’t think you should marry Maxwell tomorrow. You, him, Liam...you’ll all end up miserable.”

“But how can I break it off with Maxwell? The whole country is expecting us to get married tomorrow. I just want to run away back to New York and hide. I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this.”

“Brooks, you’re the strongest woman I know. You came here on your own and won over just about everyone you’ve met. You faced assassins coming for your head, and helped save my life when I got shot. You are a duchess now, you can’t just leave. People are counting on you...But I know this has all happened so fast. You have to do what you need to do.”

“Ugh, Drake, why do you always have to be so logical about things?”

“Heh,” Drake chuckled. “I’m guessing that’s why you came to me with this before anyone else, isn’t it?”

“I needed someone who wouldn’t just tell me what I want to hear.”

“I’ve heard brutal honesty is one of my charms.” Drake laughed and Riley followed. “It’s good to see you smile, even just a little.”

“You’ve been such a good friend to me Drake.”

“Just returning the favor, Brooks. Maxwell and I have become closer, in part due to you. But Liam is like my brother, and knowing the two of you like I do, you belong together.”

“We truly are meant to be together, aren’t we?” Riley asked rhetorically.

“No use fighting fate. Not trying to get rid of you so soon, but I suppose you probably need to talk to Maxwell sooner rather than later. You want me to walk you back?”

“Thanks Drake, but I think I need to do this on my own. I promise I won’t run directly to the airport.” Riley squeezed her arms around Drake before getting up to leave.

“Good luck Brooks. I’ll be here if you need me.”

Riley walked back to Maxwell’s room much slower than when she left, her anxiety increasing with each step. She fought the urge to make the turn to her room and deal with everything in the morning. She opened the door with hesitation, not sure what to expect from Maxwell when he saw her. He nerves were temporarily calmed when she saw him sleeping. Maybe she could write him a note and leave it on his pillow. No, that would be too cold and cowardly. She felt like she wanted to vomit as she crept closer to wake him. Her hand hovered over his shoulder, trying to prolong the pain as long as possible, but there wasn’t time to waste. She shook his shoulder and called his name. “Maxwell, Maxwell!”

“Wha- oh, Riley. You’re back.” He wore his ever present smile, but it quickly faded as he focused on her. “You look worse than when you left. Have you been crying?”

“Maxwell, we need to talk."

Maxwell sat up in the bed and Riley climbed in next to him. "Okay...I'm not psychic, but I'm guessing this isn't a good talk."

Riley clasped her hands around his. "Maxwell, you know I've appreciated how you've always been there for me. When Liam chose Madeleine at the coronation, you were there to pick up the pieces. I think...um...god, I don't know how to say this. I think, maybe I was confused. I needed someone, and you were there. I thought it was love but..."

"You never actually loved me." Maxwell finished her thought, his voice flat and his expression stoic. "Not in the way I loved you."

Riley felt her eyes welling up once again, but she tried to hold back. She didn't want Maxwell to think she was looking for sympathy when she didn’t deserve it. "I'm so, so, sorry Maxwell, but I can't go through with the wedding. It just wouldn't be right. I do love you, but what you said is true. It's not the way you deserve to be loved."

"I see...Well then, I think you should go and we can deal with the mess in the morning." His demeanor was unchanged.

Riley wasn't certain what she expected. Crying? Pleading? Yelling? Instead she got nothing. No emotion whatsoever. Maxwell who was always charismatic and wore his heart on his sleeve, had shut down completely. She didn't want to push him, but she couldn't leave him utterly broken. "Maxwell, is that really all you have to say? Please, say something. Tell me what an awful person I am-"

"You want me to get upset and let it all out just so you feel better?" Maxwell snapped at her. “I’m sorry, but can you blame me if I don’t want to talk to you about it with you right now?”

Maxwell showed more anger just now than she had ever seen from him, which was oddly comforting. Maxwell had a point. She did want to know that he would be okay, but she couldn’t help that it was partially for selfish reasons because this was her fault. She wanted to absolve herself of some of the guilt, but it wasn’t on Maxwell to do it for her. "Okay, I'll go. We should both get some sleep so we can handle this tomorrow. Riley turned and the tears immediately fell once more. She tried remain silent but the movements of her heaving sobs gave her away.

"Riley, wait..." Maxwell called after her. "I want to hate you right now, but I don't...I can't. I pushed you towards Liam because I was worried your heart was still with him. I can't let you take all the blame for this. Maybe if Liam weren't a factor it would be different...but I can't fault you for following your heart, especially when I helped lead you in that direction." Maxwell motioned for Riley sit down next to him and he enveloped her in his arms. She heard Maxwell sniffle and she looked up to see his eyes glistening. Upon seeing her, he finally let the dam break. They held each other close as the minute after minute passed.

"I don't deserve you Maxwell."

"But you do. You are an amazing woman, and before your were my fiance, you were my best friend. I can't say we will get back to that as soon as tomorrow, but I still want you in my life - if you'll have me."

"Of course Maxwell. At the heart of this, you were always my best friend. I'll give you all the time and space you need, but when you are ready, I'll be here."

"I really should go this time." Riley pulled out of his hold. "See you in the morning and we can sort all this out."

"Yeah, see you," Maxwell said with a weak smile. "Goodnight, Riley."

She was drained both physically and mentally. She should have just gone to back to her room to sleep, but her night wasn't over yet. There was one more person she needed to see.

#the royal romance #playchoices fanfiction #liam x mc #maxwell x mc #my fic

159 notes · View notes

feyreofthewildfire · 7 years

Text

We’ll Go Together - Chapter 11

Hello lovelies!

1) Before we even start I’m going to share a little spoiler: these next few chapters are going to very, very heavily be inspired by ‘It Hurts to Become’ by valamerys. It’s one of my favorite fics in this fandom and I’m going to be pulling a lot from it.

2) Warning: Mild Body Horror

3) I posted something that’s NOT this! It’s a oneshot called Wasteland that I vomited out in one evening. It’s Nessian centric featuring one of my most favorite OCs I’ve ever created. I’d love if you headed over and checked that out once you finish this.

4) Please enjoy!!

Chapter 1

Your voice follows like an echo

Won’t someone wake me from this dream?

The bluest skies turn to black clouds

And the wind is drowning out my screams

Mor just wants answers.

The bouts of visions have become more consistent, more harrowing since she met with Feyre and the other version of her cousin. She’ll see something—like a red dress or deep blue gems—and be assaulted by what Feyre’s told her to be memories of another life. The jilted, inconsistent explanations her best friend texts her almost make sense, but so many pieces are missing and she doesn’t know how to go on without at the very least looking for them.

It’s the reason she’s in the baggage claim of an airport in a city she’s never been to, attempting to use the high-tech vending machine to get herself one goddamn drink. She just wants a lemonade. It shouldn’t be so hard. Eventually, the bottle falls into the slot after the machine’s sucked away four and a half of her dollars—an utterly ridiculous amount for a single bottle of lemonade.

The taste is just as unsatisfactory as the flight had been, she decides as she texts Feyre. They’re trying to figure out a place to meet, but neither of them knows the Twin Cities well. They eventually agree to meet at a Thai place in St. Paul that the Cassian she had yet to meet had apparently mentioned once. From the distance, she knows that the cab fare will be astronomical, but dammit, she wants a bowl of pho.

It’s just over a twenty-minute drive when the cab pulls up to the restaurant. It’s a small, obviously local establishment that excites her. She strolls into the place, the chimes twinkling above the door as she does, and immediately spots Feyre and Rhys sitting in a booth on the same side, hands intertwined and speaking lowly to each other.

Thank the lord. The eye-fucking they’d been doing a week ago had been too much for her—especially between her best friend and the guy that was some sort of reincarnation of her dead cousin.

She gives a small wave to the hostess and sits on the opposite side of the booth, not missing the way the both of them back away but don’t detach. In fact, the grip only tightens. “I missed you,” She smiles, directing it at Feyre. Her eyes fall to the table, lighting with delight. “You got me an iced coffee!” She grins, mixing in the condensed milk with the straw.

Feyre’s smile is tight-lipped, “We haven’t gotten Thai in a while.” She absentmindedly stirs her own drink, the different colored jellies swirling in the coconut milk. Mor resists the urge to cringe—she’s never liked tricolor or boba. She’s always preferred her drinks to be just drinks.

They discuss their new findings, Rhys chiming in every once in awhile when they can’t get a certain memory together. They fill in the timeline Feyre’s been composing in her phone and discuss her sisters.

By the time the food comes—Mor’s steaming bowl of pho, Feyre’s bowl of Kao-poon and Rhys’ plate of papaya salad—a radiant smile the blonde’s never associated with Feyre has bloomed across her face. Rhys almost dies eating the papaya, having specified a few too many peppers, and goes through four glasses of water before his face is anywhere near a normal color again.

They’re rowdier than a group of teenage boys with no supervision, and Mor is positive that they’re gonna get themselves kicked out—especially when Feyre accidentally elbows Rhys’ boba off the table.

Then Feyre’s phone rings.

Mor and Rhys are still making jokes and going back and forth, causing the blonde to miss Feyre’s growing look of concern. When the brunette sets her phone down on the table and they both look at her, it’s as if the entire room tenses.

“We have to get to Elain’s hotel room.”

Azriel’s used to pain, but this is new.

It lashes across his back in waves, a strangled, near silent groan escaping him as he’s yanked from his previously peaceful sleep. Somewhere in the background, he can hear the sound of the shower in the hotel room going, and given the fact that the queen bed adjacent to his is empty, he can only assume it’s Elain.

He resists the urge to claw at his bare back and turns onto his stomach, the only sign he’s in any pain being that his fists are white-knuckled around the pillows. He doesn’t even realize he’d using the same breathing method he had used as a child until the bathroom door creaks open and he stops, attempting to center his breaths in an attempt to seem asleep once again.

It fails, of course, when Elain timidly calls his name, concern etched in the word. He can only see the pair of jeans she’s wearing—light wash with rips in the knees, the same ones from the day they’d flown out—when she approaches, laying the back of her hand across his forehead. “What’s wrong?” She frowns, pulling her hand away when she finds no fever, only a thin sheen of sweat.

Her eyes fall onto his back and widen, shock and something akin to horror in them. “Oh my goodness,” She gasps, stumbling back. Her hands fumble for her phone, which had been charging on the nightstand. He shuts his eyes with the pain, no longer trying to hide it now that she’s noticed. He makes out snippets of the conversation, though not enough to realize who she’s talking to.

He hears her set the phone down and feels the bed bend when she sits on it. He cracks his eyes open to stare at her, noting that her hair is still wet and without any flowers in it. His eyes shut once again when she starts to comb her fingers through his short hair, the soothing gesture a nice distraction from the pain.

She starts to speak to him and he forces himself to focus long enough to process what she’s saying. “Rhys and Feyre are coming. They’ll be here in fifteen minutes.”

He nods once, another wave of pain washing over him.

“You get them in and out again, shadowsinger. I don’t care how many of them you have to kill to do it. They both come out.”

“I swear it, High Lord.”

He recognizes his own voice in the answer, though it’s colder—a hard determination laced in the words that he doesn’t recognize. He doesn’t recognize the formal words nor the title he’s addressed with. At least, not at first.

Shadowsinger.

A bell rings within him, a big blinking sign going off that proclaims ‘LOOK HERE’. He can’t tell where it points, only that it’s to the scattered pieces of what he now knows to be memories he’s been carefully gathering and sorting through with Elain the past day or so.

“Grab onto him!”

It’s Elain’s voice, commanding and filled with desperation.

“If you want to live, do it now!”

He manages to tear himself away long enough to hear Elain talking to Rhys, desperately asking his brother what was happening. He feels Rhys’ hands on his back, a warmth radiating from them as he runs them over his skin in a clinical fashion. He sees Feyre’s silhouette and another person with tumbling blonde hair. If he had still believed in them, he would’ve thought her an angel.

He has wings. Something’s clawed through them. He’s carrying two people—Elain and a young girl—and flying. The only thing keeping him from falling is pure will and some sort of magic. It hurts. It doesn’t hurt as much as the thought of what he knows will happen if he fails.

Someone places a hand on his forehead, a warmth different from the one on his back emanating off of it.

He tumbles off into sleep, plagued by perverted nightmares.

Or memories. He can’t tell the difference anymore.

Cassian can’t breathe.

The threadbare apartment he technically presides in hasn’t been occupied in months. He’d been spending all his time at the mansion, protecting Nesta.

The remembrance of her name makes the pain worse.

He claws the soft t-shirt he’d thrown on earlier off of him, launching it somewhere across the room before reaching around his back, trying to find the source of the pain. It emanates from just underneath his shoulder blades, the skin pulsing as if it’s about to pulse open.

His searching hands find something that most definitely shouldn’t be there.

Two bumps, roughly half the length of his spine, protrude from just beside it. He can almost feel whatever’s in them moving and forming, utterly unnatural and not of this world. His first instinct is to call Nesta, only for him to quickly throw that option out the window. His second thought is to call Rhiannon, but his foster sister doesn’t need to know that his life has turned into a poorly plotted TV show with sudden, unexplained magic and a weird chick who holds all the knowledge.

Amren.

He’s only met her twice, maybe another time, but she’s the only one besides Feyre who seems to be willing to tell anyone what’s happening. He supposes that he could also call Rhysand, but he’s not sure if he wants to confront his brother with this.

When had he started referring to the stranger as his brother?

The thought quickly washes away with the rest of him as another wave of pain carries over him. His training from the military is the only thing that gives him the ability to even get out of bed and grab his phone, dialing the new contact that the silver-eyed woman had forcefully put in a few days before.

She answers with a curt, annoyed What? before he starts spitting out obscenities and attempts at describing the pain he’s in. She asks a few questions and he attempts to answer them before she swears—the filthiest thing he’s ever heard, which is quite a feat—and hangs up.

Not even a moment later he can hear his front door snap open, alarming him enough that the burst of adrenaline overrides the pain and allows him to move into the hall. It’s only Amren, having somehow appeared out of nowhere, though he’s in no position to ask how when he doubles over again.

She mumbles something under her breath that he doesn’t comprehend before lifting one of his arms over her shoulder and, in an alarming show of strength, drags him out onto the untouched, still new couch and unceremoniously drops him on it, stomach down.

When she places her hands on his back Cassian nearly turns over and restrains her wrists out of pure instinct, only for her to bat him away like a child and return her hands to where she had originally placed them—directly over the bumps. She pushes and prods at them with clinical efficiency and complete disregard for his comfort.

“You’re growing wings.” She announces, backing away and perching herself on the coffee table. “You’ll truly be the same bastard from before again soon enough.”

“What?” He spits out, turning to face her. “Wings?”

“Yes, wings.” She deadpans, obviously not amused. “You weren’t born with them this time, so you get to grow them. I’ll have the Emissary come over to watch you once she’s been discharged.”

He’s not sure what she means by Emissary, but he can tell she’s talking about Nesta. “No. Don’t.” He can only get out a few words at a time with the pain. “Just… grab me some pain—” He has to grit his teeth with a new wave, “—painkillers.”

“Suit yourself.” She states as a bottle of said painkillers stutters slowly into existence beside her. He pretends not to notice the bead of sweat that drips down her temple. “Call if you need anything.”

With that she breezes out of the room, leaving as if she had never been there. He can almost hear his teeth grinding together as he reaches over to grab the bottle, cracking it open and chucking two of the pills in his mouth.

He shuts the bottle and drops it onto the carpet, resting his brow on his forearm. His eyes flutter shut with the pain. A groan does escape his lips this time.

“I have no regrets in this life, but this. That I did not have that time with you, Nesta.”

“I will find you again in the next world—the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.”

His eyes snap open, the memory barreling over him.

He had still loved her; even in another life, another time.

The thought is enough to make him close his eyes, willing sleep to take him once again.

It doesn’t, of course.

He’s not sure how long he lies there, the box of memories that he’s had since the supposed spell had been cast now thrown open. A life lived five hundred years floods through him—from sleeping in the dirt of the Illyrian training camp to fighting in the First War, from leading the armies to brawling with his brother in the mud after he’d returned from his romantic cabin getaway, from bickering with Nesta to what he thought would be his last moments with her.

He manages to grab his phone, opening his messages and typing up two. The first is to Feyre, asking to meet with her and Rhys. The second one is to Nesta.

I did promise I’d find you in the next life, sweetheart. We can have that time.

His finger hovers over the send button, hesitant.

In the end, he supposes it doesn’t matter.

Next Chapter

#we'll go together #acotar fanfiction

8 notes · View notes

aelin-and-feyre · 7 years

Text

Jealous?

Requested by Anonymous 7: “I’m not jealous.” 8: “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” Requested by Anonymous 25: “You make me nervous and happy and horny all at the same time and it’s confusing as fuck sometimes.” And requested by @the-lost-queen-of-terrasen Mor with 96: “This would not happen if I had a penis!”

Feysand - canon au (before they find out they’re mates)

If Feyre is being honest, she is actually incredibly excited for tonight. With her first ball in the night court, and Mor's promise to help her get ready and have a good time, for the this first time since she got to the Night Court, Feyre is excited. Sure, spending time with the Inner Circle is fun, though most of the time extremely odd, and she has developed this annoying stutter in her chest whenever a certain High Lord is around, but not until now has she felt truly eager.

So far, she has been unable to see very much of Velaris, apart from the tour Rhys gave her when she first arrived, and fancies that tonight she will be able to meet a lot of new people at this ball. Mor and her spend hours getting ready and Feyre has a hard time remembering when she last held such an easy conversation, when she last felt such easy friendship between her and another female. And never in her life has she gotten ready for a celebration with a true friend like Mor has proved herself to be.

Just a few days earlier, Mor had confessed to Feyre of her preference for females, something she has told scarcely anyone, and ever since then, Feyre has felt her connection with the girl deepen exponentially. One night, she even found herself telling Mor of the strange feelings that arise deep within her whenever Rhysand glances at her a certain way. Mor had taken the confession in stride, and had promised Feyre to never tell Rhys what they had talked of.

Now, they are just about to enter the ball, the Inner Circle making a grand entrance as a group. Getting into formation, with Rhys in the front, Mor and Amren flanking him, and Cassian, Azriel and Feyre behind them, they make a pyramid, their fearless leader at the peak. Feyre can hear the conversing of hundreds of people inside the hall, different dialects clearly detectable with her fae ears. Mor turns slightly to wink at Feyre just as the doors open, and Rhysand begins to enter.

Everyone applauds as they make their way through the crowds, a path forming for them. Slowly, the Inner Circle branches off to meld with the other party-goers, Mor grabbing Feyre's arm and dragging her deep into the throng. Rhysand continues to the front of the room, smiling at his Court and making a quick speech before officially declaring the ball to start.

Music begins to play and people's conversations pick up again. Mor pulls Feyre towards some tables, plopping down in the chairs and scanning the room. "What are you looking for?" Feyre asks.

Mor's eyes squint and Feyre tries to follow their line of sight. "Always be on the lookout for potential partners for the night, Feyre, it's the only way you'll get any action." Her friend replies crudely, making Feyre blush. Mor jerks her chin towards a group of giggling females swaying at the edge of the crowd. "See the one in the blue? Long legs, brunette?" Feyre tries not to be obvious as she slyly examines the group and nods. "Definitely my type." She grins, practically wolfishly at Feyre, causing the girls to laugh together.

"Well you should go for it! Go up to them!" Feyre urges, gesturing in their general direction.

Mor seems to consider it for a few moments, then grabs Feyre's wrist. "Only if you come with me."

"Feyre, darling," A deep voice sound from behind them, sending those irritatingly mysterious tingles down Feyre's spine. "Where is my dear cousin dragging you off to now?" She looks over her shoulder at him innocently, but catches the hard glint in his eye. She prays to the Cauldron that he didn't hear their conversation. "I must warn you that Mor has an awful taste in males, if she's trying to set you up."

His tone is off, Feyre notices, passing a glance at Mor who seems to hear it too. He almost sounds... resentful, whether to her, Mor, or the imaginary males he just made up, she's not sure. And, if Feyre didn't know any better, she'd almost assume that the High Lord is jealous. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees one side of Mor's mouth perk up.

"Actually, Rhys, we were examining those fine specimen over there that just entered. Feyre was daring me to go talk to them but I need a wing-woman of course." She easily lied, and Feyre smiles as well. "Besides, there's two of them, and Feyre has had very little male interaction these past few weeks, other than you, Cass, and Az of course, and you can't very well expect her to try something with any of you." Feyre scoffs at the thought but her heart involuntarily stops when Rhys' eyes snap to meet hers and he raises an eyebrow challengingly, as if daring her to say anything more in agreement to his cousin's claims.

Feyre however, recovers quickly and obviously doesn't know when to stop. "Oh, yes, of course. I rather liked the blonde one, although Mor called dibs on him first, what a pity that is indeed."

"Indeed." Rhys' voice is as cold as ice, his stare piercing her very bones, as if he can see right through her lies. His hands are clenched and he's breathing harshly through his nose. Feyre lets out a nervous laugh.

"Well, if you excuse us, I don't want to completely lose them in the crowd, or we'd both lose our chance for some fun tonight, if you know what I mean." Somehow, she manages to wink at the High Lord before dragging Mor up and out of her chair, off into the crowd and out of sight. She makes sure they are far enough away before both of them start cracking up, laughing until their sides hurt.

Mor wipes away at the tears before they fall, making sure not to mess up the kohl lining her eyes. "Oh, Cauldron! Did you see his face? I thought steam was coming out of his ears!" They double over laughing again and finally, Feyre takes in a few deep breaths, attempting to calm herself.

"Oh, that was hilarious, I didn't think he would get so frustrated! What's so bad about us scoping out guys? I'm sure you do it all the time." She says once they have eventually stopped laughing.

Mor lets a sly smile slip onto her face. "I highly doubt it was my flirting he was getting jealous of." She assures.

Feyre can't help the little flutter of her heart when Mor confirms that she thought the same thing, but her outward appearance thankfully remains relaxed. "Rhysand? Jealous? Now that's a stretch, even for you Mor."

Her friend shrugs. "Whatever you say," She grabs her hand again. "Now let's go dance, maybe we'll catch up with those girls again."

A couple hours later, Feyre's feet ache, her thighs burn, and she's just a bit dizzy, still not entirely used to the fae drinks. Mor has miraculously struck out almost half a dozen times, miscalculating on which females she thinks might share her love of, well, females. Feyre is by the food table, stuffing her face with finger food, when Mor comes stumbling back to her, groaning about the failure of her latest attempt.

"This would not happen if I had a penis!" She exclaims rather loudly, making Feyre rush to put a hand over her mouth before she says anything else that could be incriminating. They giggle at the statement however, but Feyre abruptly stops when she notices something over Mor's shoulder.

About ten yards away, at the drink table, the High Lord of the Night Court is chatting up a group of increasingly hands-on girls. To her ultimate surprise, a practically animalistic growl erupts past Feyre's lips, catching herself off guard and breaking her staring contest with the manicured hand resting on Rhysand's bicep.

Mor is startled as well, eyes widening as she turns to see what got Feyre so upset. Her friend is smirking when she turns back to Feyre. "Well look who's jealous now."

"I'm not jealous." Feyre insists, crossing her arms and, with some difficulty, turning away from the stomach twisting scene before her.

Mor tsks. "Sure you're not, sweetie, and I'm hopelessly in love with Cassian." Feyre scowls, not appreciating the sarcasm. "You could just tell him how you feel, I would bet he would react like you want him to."

"And how do I want him to react Mor, hm? How am I supposed to tell him about this fluttering inside and expect a good answer when I don't even know what I want that answer to be?" She shakes her head fiercely. "It's just a bad idea."

Mor huffs. "Well then don't look now, but it seems that one of those tramps has finally won him over. Looks like the High Lord is leaving his own ball a little early tonight."

Feyre can't help herself. She is turned around and halfway across the room before she knows what she's doing. It's doesn't even make her pause to see the Mor was exaggerating, that there are still three girls standing around Rhys, all equally in the running for making their way to his bed tonight. Her eyes are once again focused on the hands that are constantly finding some way to make contact with his body. Feyre has to work hard to restrain her newfound claws from breaking through the skin of her fingertips.

When she reaches them, she not so delicately pulls Rhys' arm out of one of their holds, yanking him back a couple steps and baring her teeth at the females. Rhysand recovers quickly as the girls scamper away, making Feyre smirk until she is faced with a very confused and disgruntled looking High Lord.

"What the- Feyre, why would you do that?" He questions, grasping the sides of her arms and searching her eyes that still harbor a bit of the burning contempt she'd been filled with a few seconds ago. He stops his examination abruptly and a gorgeous smirk appears. "Oh my, you're jealous, aren't you?"

Feyre snaps her teeth at him angrily. "Shut up, that is not what this is about." Her voice come out confident, if not a bit menacing, and her anger increases when she sees humor dance through Rhys' eyes.

"Then what is this about, Feyre, darling?" He wonders, finally letting go of her shoulders and crossing his arms instead, still smirking down at her.

Feyre is hyper-aware of the fact that there are a lot of people around them, and groans, grabbing his arm and dragging him to a more secluded part of the dance hall. She's prepared to explain calmly, collected, without giving too much away. However, all plans are smashed to pieces in this more intimate setting, with Rhysand standing a lot closer than he was before. He's almost daring her to do something she'll regret by standing so close like that. She is deeply regretting every single drink she took tonight.

Feyre lets out another inhumane growl and it all comes tumbling out. "This is about the fact that you make me nervous and happy and horny all at the same time and it's confusing as fuck sometimes and I don't like you flirting with other females for some goddamn crazy reason because it drives me insane.” She blurts out all at once, then takes a deep, shuddering breath in an attempt to calm herself, avoiding looking into Rhy’s shocked eyes. “So, I'm asking, please, just stop flirting."

Rhysand's eyes flash, and he licks his lips absently. He smiles down at Feyre with a look she is not familiar with seeing coming from him. "What do I get in return?"

She thinks about the different ways she can answer than question, the various outcomes they will cause, and considers what she really wants out of tonight’s ball. Perhaps it wasn’t the further exploration of Velaris’ society she was eager for, but the company she knew she would be keeping tonight that made her excited. Feyre knows Mor is right, and she’s going to have to take some action if she wants any action in return.

Whether it be a sudden burst of courage, confidence, liquor, or all three, Feyre suddenly finds herself moving closer to the High Lord. "Me. At least for the night."

His grin widens, slipping a hand around her waist and pulling her against him. Feyre can feel her heart practically skip every other beat. He leans down, lips grazing the tip of her pointed ear as he whispers, "It's a deal."

Masterlist

437 notes · View notes

celestialallstars · 5 years

Text

Episode #16: “Well, this is the end folks.” - Stephen

I WANT TO QUIT

I AM GOING TO QUIT

MICHAEL DESERVED BETTER HE WAS MY FUCKING F2 AND BEST FRIEND IN THIS GAME AND IM SO FUCKINF MAD I LOVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART HE DESERVES WAY BETTER THAN THIS FUCK THIS CASST SO MUCH I CANT STOP FUCKING CRYING

#FuckChris

FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST

EITHER IM QUITTING OR IM WINNING OUT OF SPITE WATCH THIS SPACE

Feel like pure shit just want Michael back

Bryce messaging me like “hey bowling ball” SHUT UR FUCKING FACE BRYCE DO NOT START TRYING TO TALK TO ME RN I AM MAD AT YOU

I MADE FINAL FIVE AND I HAVE AN IDOL I LEARNED MY MISTAKES IM MAKING FINAL FOUR I BEAT MY PLACEMENT WOOO I makin sure history dont be repeating doe

Alrighty, I am hoping that one of Chloe or Zach leaves this round. I dont know how the idol is going to go but I think Chloe's the safest bet for us as I still feel Zach could have it. Still, I can't risk a Loris situation so I would prefer it if Stephen won immunity. I do feel bad for him and I just hope he still trusts me even if I lost a little last night. Right now I think if Crystal Clear is the F4 then it could do a lot of good if anyone but Bryce wins it but I hope Stephen is wanting to go to the end still now

So, THAT happened. Chris lied and sided with Bryce and Zach instead of splitting like we planned! Greeaaaaaat.

He says it happened shortly before tribal, but when he told me his reason, he said it was because of Michael attempting to make an F3 deal, which is something that happened the day before.

I did have an interesting chat with Zach where he said me and him are essentially seen as Chris and Bryce's +1's and our chances of winning sitting next to them might be pretty low based on that perception. Obviously I want Bryce out before Chris, but I need to start realistically thinking of cutting Chris at some point. He did go behind my back here and staying blindly loyal despite that just seems foolish. He said he'd use the idol on me this round which is great and all, but if Bryce wins immunity... well... what are my options? Honestly the best case scenario is me or Chris winning immunity just so we can be sure about playing the idol on the one who loses and voting Bryce out.

I hope that bad scenario doesn't have to play out, but let's just say at this point I think Zach and Chloe are my best possible F3. Which is interesting considering I just tried to get Zach out!

It does kinda suck to hear Michael say what he said. I get he was upset but like I dunno. It didnt help but at the same time I don't feel too bad knowing that he made an f3 without me in it. My hope was that it makes the others think more on NOT bringing me to the end so I want to use it to my advantage as much as I can to still win it all if its possible

This vote has been so messy it's ridiculous. I know Chris has the idol and is likely playing it on himself, so I'm trying to get Zach and Chloe to throw their vote on him so me and Chris can decide who goes. I was considering actually voting him out for a bit but I don't think that's feasible without their being an imminent reason for him to use the idol on someone else.

So I told Chloe and Zach the plan, and I told Bryce the plan was Chloe and used idol-fear as my fake reason. Hopefully it's a strong enough justification for him to buy it and just vote for her, but he's immune so he personally has nothing to fear tonight. It's been a hard day and I hope everything pans out as I expect and I'm not on the bad end of all the plans LOL.

im in f4 wooh but no chance at winning i think im gonna be blindsided by zach tonight so thats fun if chris goes im legit over but idk how to fix that i ened to make sure chris votes stephen with me but idt he will

________________________________________________________________

Chloe: How does michael leaving impact the game?

Michael leaving the game probably means it’s a bit more open for people to make moves and shake things up even more which is TERRIFYING. In my eyes Michael had a lot of control over people that was going unnoticed.

go to an optometrist queen

im trying to do stuff but who knows oh well LOL SDGMLKDSGKDSGKDMSKGDSK i want chris out but he probs has idol all i know is unless theres an idol nullifier i be makin f4 tho

________________________________________________________________

Chloe is voted out 2-2-1. She becomes the eighth member of our jury.

Watch Chloe’s exit interview take place below:

________________________________________________________________

Welp! I've survived probably my closest call all game. I wish I could make it to the end while being targeted a bit less but I can settle for this. Anyway, selecting Chloe to be my target ended up being the correct decision, since she was the only person other than me who could be targeted. I'm so close to the end again, and the people still in don't see me as much of a winner threat. I hope they're wrong sksksksksksks

I think winning this immunity challenge and being the reason Bryce goes home could boost my odds quite a bit, but I need to be ready for the possibility of not winning the immunity challenge as well. Still, I have F2 deals with Chris and Zach, so that's another reason to avoid wanting to choose between them here. No reason to make anyone madder than they need to be.

I guess a lot is riding on the last comp and I enjoy it because it does show how it isn't clear cut as far as what will happen next.

ok so results in 2.5 hours and i know im not winning its so sad but its just sth that i have to face. i tried my hardest at endurance but fell alseep. before and after.. i have no brain. counting? literally my least fave thing on orgs the actual anxiety it gives me is unreal. winterbells???? anyways. the puzzle prob the only thign i can do alright at and i just know zach beat me at it too. and like just like my og season i feel like if i dont win i go home.at least there i dont think maynor would have voted me but here i dont have a maynor and i will get 3-1'd even tho i dont think its the right move like ugh this is so sad i rly just wanted to show i deserved my win and my spot on all stars and i cant even win final immunity its so embarrassing why do i even play orgs this will be my last mark my WORDS going out on one of my fave orgs ever will be cute anyway yay wooh haha im so random...

________________________________________________________________

im so sad like im depressed this sucks im gonna get 3-1'd for WHAT why wont zach take me what could i have done differently except be better at immunity like ive had no agency since f9 rhys blindside and its like that has been annoying but it was always with the end goal being yes i may not have gotten to play how i wanted to but at least ill make ftc how cute. but i dont even get to do that and its like ppl just say i was a shield well i have feelings and i dont like being used as a shield why am i so melodramatic its literally an online game but im just tired of being used and thrown away and so what if ive listened to liability 10 times since i woke up this morning that has nothing to do with me feeling like im a toy that ppl grow bored of.

Its been one heck of a rollercoaster but I have a little faith for this last tribal. I was sad to have lost the final challenge but I feel it can perhaps help my overall game if Im able to make it to the final three. With that in mind, its time to enact my final plan. While I have openly acknowledged Bryce's threat level to people I sorta was in need of certain things falling into place- Zach winning was the first part even if it would have been nice for Stephen/myself. Now is the part I pretty much spell it out for him that taking Bryce not only equals less jury votes but also could take votes that Zach would have since Bryce is viewed as the stronger of the duo. I basically have to make Zach be fully on board to get out his biggest threat to winning.

________________________________________________________________

As for Bryce, it was nice to play with him but I do hope he is serious about voting Stephen because it then guarantees that not only am I safe but that I can get him out. Alas Justice4Mitch has never died but if I can pull it off after basically convincing Bryce I was not against him while also just painting Zach as a necessary meat shield then I have a chance! I dunno how it would go down with the jury but thats moot until I see "18th person voted out and the final member of the jury...@Bryce"

So I made a bit of a mistake last night. Zach won immunity and I assumed it was pretty clear Bryce was gonna go 3-1 no strings attached, and I told him my reasons for voting him. Bryce isn't giving up though. He came up with a plan with Chris to get Zach to put his vote on Chris, and then the 2 of them vote me out. It's not the craziest idea I've ever heard which is why I think I made a mistake telling Bryce the truth.

Knowing this, I went to Zach and told him everything about this plan. Hopefully it makes Zach too gun-shy to consider voting for Chris and, since I don't think he wants me out that only leaves Bryce as an option. I wish I was immune and had nothing to worry about but here we are! If Bryce can dig himself out of this he'll have a really good shot to win though. And Chris/Zach have to be aware of that.

youtube

im livid im depressed and my hair is such a mess.

this is likely my penultimate confessional [that is lengthy] so here we go.

i won immunity. im so happy. I MADE FINAL TRIBAL!! even if i lose, i still made it here, in an allstar season - which is just phenomenal. top 3 out of 21... WOO! and i beat my placement and improved my game (in my subjective opinion) and so i feel like i got what i wanted out of this game. i didn't even need the immunity tbh but.. it's just a relief to have it because it secures my game and allows me a bit more control than the average person at F4.

when it comes to the vote, i think the frontrunners are chris + bryce. i think neither are a cut-and-dry win, but i think they are the two people that the jury is currently praising to a degree. it's also known that those two are on the chopping block for this round, and i believe i'm in a swing vote position (stephen/chris voting bryce, bryce voting chris - i can tie it or send bryce home).

this is where it becomes tricky. i love all these people, especially bryce. he's my best friend and we've been through this game hand in hand. i would love to see him win, and i would prefer him as a victor over stephen/chris (no offence to them, just as personal taste obviously). but, i think he's an obstacle for me come FTC. the jury has perceived me to be his goat (or just a follower of his), and while that's not true (both bryce and i have played briefly separate games and have taken some control at varying points), perception matters a lot. like, it's not reality - but it is critical to who wins this game. so i think i need to do my utmost best to reverse that perception.

my main strategy throughout merge (and i mentioned this in early confessionals) was to highlight bryce as a bigger threat [giving him another challenge win, hyping him up to people, etc.] so that in our inevitably perceived duo, he would be the bigger fish to fry. while at times this failed (ie f8 when I was the target of the split vote), i fixed it by ensuring jared's elimination because he was the person keeping bryce alive and that was awareness!! woo!! but overall, with the whole "shield strategy", it becomes redundant imo if you take that shield to FTC. bryce, as someone who's been consistently targeted (him and i both tbh), if he gets to the end, that becomes so impressive. even if he hasn't made many moves or whatever, it's that underdog-like story that likely ensures him the gold in my eyes. i would love to see him win!! he's the best candidate (on a personal level) to be sandra diaz-twine (though he's being so fat to me right now, as i am to him though). but i feel like my prominent strategy only ever comes into fruition if i eliminate him, and that's where i'm leaning (and he knows that).

while chris could win (or even stephen, i won't exclude him), it's all a risk. if they do, then good game!! but i think ive played to a great standard and have proven myself, and i've shown divergence from bryce and others and while some moves failed, i attempted to be flexible and that in and of itself speaks a lot! woo!! this is a deserving final four imo (higher than average for most final ours). this allstar season has been hectic, every vote being so diverse, so regardless of the final outcome, it's an achievement that us four made it here.

i could be majorly misinterpreting this game as a whole, but who cares. chris and stephen are both great speakers, so it'll be a tossup in that regard, but i just have to do what's best. maybe i vote out chris though. i'm torn, and it's not because of what anyone has said, it's just an internalized conflict that's like... do i vote out my best friend but i think it's smarter or do i vote out another threat and just hope the jury can recognize that i had a stronger game than perceived.

i think i know the answer though. and i hope that when he (BRYCE LKSDGLKSD i love him im on call with him ill link a pic below) goes to jury he can be my cheerleader... bc i lav him. if not i understand. but I HOPE he doesn't hate me remotely seriously because i value our friendship immensely... but i didn't come here to play for second. will i get second (or third)? sure. it's possible. but at least i didn't *play* for it, if that makes sense.

link to bryce on cam suffocating himself with a pillow in response to me potentially voting him out: https://imgur.com/BgFRtsK

that's all. MAYBE I DONT WRITE ANOTHER CONFESSIONAL THIS IS TOO STRESSFUL AND LONG AND MY FINGERS ARE CRAMPING. but that's it. love yawls. mwah.

IM SO DEPRESSED IM GETTING 3-1 HOW DO I HAVE SUCH BAD SOCIAL GAME WHY AM I THE WORST PERSON TO EVER PLAY THE GAME WHATS THE POINT OF PLAY 77 DAYS IF I CANT BE A TWO TIME WINNER I RUIN MY SLEEP SCHEDULE I PUSH THROUGH MY EPISODES OF SADNESS TO TRY TO WIN AND ITS ALL FOR NOTHING BC IM AN UNLIKABLE AND NO ONE WANTS TO SIT NEXT TO ME IN THE END LIKE THATS SO CRAZY ITS INSANE I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LIKE ME https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/613389489154293780/634539770583973888/unknown.png

________________________________________________________________

i thought most betrayed was jared to me but turns out its zach to me

________________________________________________________________

Bryce is voted out 3-1. He becomes the ninth and final member of our jury.

Watch Bryce’s exit interview take place below:

youtube

________________________________________________________________

Ahhh I cant believe I made it to FTC. Its pretty surreal to have actually made it after everything's that happened! I am so nervous about FTC because I know a lot of people may not be thrilled to see me and I have to do a lot lf convincing...but this is where I have to try to give everything my all and hope it will work out!

Well, this is the end folks.

My final confessional of All-Stars. Will it be my final Celestial confessional? Who knows. All I know at this point is that my speech is ready and I'm speculating as to what questions I will be asked and what my answers will be. Finally being at the end of an ORG is so surreal but winning this thing after all the nonsense would be so sweet.

Making it to the end with Chris is great too, even if I kinda wish he was just on the jury supporting me. This is our second time playing an ORG together but the first time we played we both went pre-merge, so this really is a big deal for us.

I'm proud of the game I've played though, and I want to make sure that comes across tonight. Even if I ultimately end up losing I won't let myself be called a goat or "just playing for FTC". I came here to win from the very beginning and by the end of the night everyone is going to know that.

I am so nervous for this FTC that I don't think I'll do that good, BUT I'm gonna put on my acting abilities and pretend I am confident and own everything I can! It's do or die and I'm not ready to be six feet under yet!

________________________________________________________________

So I'm very happy with myself when its all said and done! This was such a journey for me in that whether I win or lose I feel satisfied with myself because I had highs and lows and learned things- wishing my fellow finalists the best of luck and huge thank you to the hosts for allowing this to even exist here :)

________________________________________________________________

Zach wins in an 8-1-0 vote!

#episode #shinebright

0 notes