Headcanon:
Muppet universe: Wug is just Wug and not a muppet. like the token big bird.
Burt is played by bob in a Muppet mask
Gunther's sunglasses are his eyes
There's a universe where Mark is the only one that's human.
(There's a Ego universe where all the egos except actor mark are muppets)
I need help. /j
Text says:
Statler and Waldrof: This is the worst fanfic I've ever read, and I read my Immortal Oh ho ho ho !
Burt says yup
Gunther says Idiot
Captain: Mark! Stop messing around! What do you think this is? a comedy!?
Maybe I'll finish this one day
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hc that celci is buff as hell is now living rent free and spinning in my brain - if mark's being a little shit she'd just grab him by the back of suit and toss his ass out. gunther nearly got decked and managed to dodge (barely), the dent is still there. once upon a time she just dragged burt around with like zero problems
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Hi! Would it be ok to request that we ignore that in canon a hug from Wug would kill us and we get to actually hug him? And it inspires the captain to hug more of their crewmates for morale boosts? (I just really love platonic cuddles tbh xD )
making this a headcanon thing if thats ok!! thank u for the req 🤍
>>>
Wug is all edges, all metal. If the Captain didn't teach Wug properly how to hug beforehand then Wug very well could have crushed the Captain's spine and internal organs. Wug wouldn't have meant to, of course, but Wug doesn't exactly realize until then just how fragile the human body is. Wug enjoys all contact with the Captain, even if it's just a smile and a pat on the arm and some words of approval. Getting told that Wug is doing a good job makes the alien much more productive, because Wug greatly enjoys being told that Wug is doing something good. "Captain! Wug did good job! Wug get hug now?" Wug is cold, due to Wug's metal suit, and it is impossible to fall asleep on Wug. Unless you can sleep anywhere, I guess.
Engineer Mark is always happy to give a hug. He won't admit that most of the time it's to put off work that he should be doing, nor that the hugs make him more productive afterward - he just genuinely does what he can to make their Captain happy, even if it is sharing a chair and snuggling for some extended period of time. "Oh, you want more hugs, Captain? That's what I'm here for! Or, well, technically I'm an engineer, but - you know what I mean!" They're very warm and easy to sleep on. He'll also fall asleep without meaning to, which will more likely than not end up with Celci scolding both Mark and the Captain both.
Celcionna F. Kelvina is also always happy for any attention to/from her Captain. She isn't as liberal as Mark is with cuddling, since she takes pride in her work and is almost constantly making sure everything is alright, but she loves any minute that she can spend with her Captain. Her productivity shoots through the roof, and every now and then she'll completely ignore Mark's efforts at antagonizing her. "Oh, Captain! Sorry, just give me a few minutes to make sure this is still safe. We can't cuddle for too long, I don't want to fall asleep!" She's very cold-natured, so it's recommended to either be very cold-tolerable or to wear a coat. You'll never catch her sleeping on the job, and if you're the Captain then you best not be caught sleeping on the job either.
Gunther B. Gunnerson is not much of a hugger, let alone a cuddler. Not that he doesn't like them, no - too much of a good thing and all that. Also because he doesn't like feeling confined for too long. Despite that, though, he does like knowing that his Captain doesn't mind that he doesn't like being held too long or too often, and that does make him a bit happier whenever it does happen. Sometimes he'll drop down from the ceiling to steal a hug and immediately disappear, because it makes him laugh. "S'up, Captain? What do you mean it's hug time? Uhh, well, it has been a while, I guess... Okay, but only for a minute. Gotta get back to the defense systems." He's not as warm as Mark, but not as cold and Celci - he does lean on the colder side, though. You'll also never catch him sleeping on the job, but that's mostly because if he naps then he naps in the ceiling.
Burt is for hugs when the time is appropriate. Not that any time is never not appropriate, but it's generally hard to tell when he never gives a straight answer. The rare occasions he does give a straight answer are the ones that his Captain will end up stretched against his side cuddling or where the two sit and Burt just goes on about his thoughts (as complicated as they are). His productivity usually stays around the same, though he will admit that his talks with his Captain always leave his mind a bit clearer. "Captain, it's always nice seeing you here. Like a warm summer breeze, where the sun has just set and the world is falling asleep for the day. Come here, let me hold you a moment, just as the earth cradles the last light for as long as it can." He's almost as hot as his reactor - an absolute bonafide space heater. Every now and then he might doze off, but he never really falls asleep - the slightest movement or noise can wake him. If his Captain falls asleep then Burt will generally try to not move for at least a bit, or until he gets uncomfortable.
Bonus:
Other crewmates have mixed feelings about getting hugs from their Captain. Most have positive feelings (like the Sexy Crew and the First Mate) but others just don't really care.
Bandit is uncomfortable with constant physical affection, though she will absolutely be down to cuddle until either she or the Captain fall asleep. If Wug is with them as a lookout then the pair will likely both go to sleep until it's time for Wug to rest. Bandit is a very light sleeper, which is unfortunate with Wug around, but it's very useful for if Wug is not around. She gets better rest whenever the Captain rests beside her, which helps her keep her mind clear when she needs it to be.
Lady is a little awkward when is comes to any type of affection. They're usually fine with quick hugs, but tend to shy away from any extended contact. It's likely due to her culture, though she never does say for sure. The best way to up their production is to either leave her be or to help her get through something difficult.
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