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ultimatetrashyfanfic · 3 years

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Non-despair AU! And ever since I watched that thirty minute anime clip with Nagito’s perspective on things, I’ve really liked the idea of him being buds with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko. And Nagito openly talks about his past trauma on a plane so… what better way to bond than bonding over trauma? Anyway, I love these three so much. Also Komahina because I love them - Circle

(Also forgot to add this, sorry, but it’s on AO3 too) https://archiveofourown.org/works/33483538

Warning: descriptions of panic attacks, nausea, motion sickness, very mild vomiting (like barely any).

Fuyuhiko always thought Nagito was spouting a whole load of bullshit when he lamented about his talent being useless; he would’ve loved having Ultimate Luck right now.

“Haha! You got the short straw, Fuyuhiko!” Akane crowed. “Tough luck!”

“Wait, no! Can’t we do a best of three?”

“Somebody has to sit with them, man,” Nekomaru said. “You guys are already friends, it’ll be a great bonding experience.”

“I don’t want to bond with them in that situation. Because you all know it’ll be a shit show. That’s why we’re fucking doing this,” Fuyuhiko growled, glaring at each of his classmates in turn. Only two were missing, the pair who’d triggered this whole unfortunate drawing of straws in the first place.

“Why can’t you sit with them, Hajime? Nagito is always hanging off you anyway. And Kazuichi is your friend too,” Fuyuhiko said.

“I’m afraid I can’t, Fuyuhiko.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because I didn’t draw the short straw.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Fuyuhiko stomped away, his classmates’ laughter echoing behind him. This class trip was already more trouble than it was worth and it hadn’t even started. He was almost tempted to skip the plane journey with the rest of them and hop on a different flight to Novoselic, just to show them. It wasn’t like he needed Sonia to pay his way. But she’d been so enthusiastic about taking her friends to see her home country, and Fuyuhiko couldn’t think of any way to tell her without causing offence. He couldn’t really say he just didn’t want to be stuck babysitting Kazuichi and Nagito on a flight.

It wasn’t that Fuyuhiko didn’t like Kazuichi and Nagito. Sure, Kazuichi could be a real pain in the ass sometimes, and Nagito would go all weird and self-deprecating if you didn’t watch out, but Fuyuhiko still considered them close friends. But the flight to Novoselic was long. Kazuichi could get motion sickness on a fucking bicycle, and Nagito hadn’t set foot on a plane since his parents died on one right in front of his eyes. There was no way it could possibly go well. Fuyuhiko pictured hour after hour of Kazuichi puking and complaining and Nagito… well, he wasn’t sure what the hell Nagito would do. He’d never seen Nagito get flustered before. Hell, that was much more terrifying. He had to get out of this.

In the days before the trip, Fuyuhiko kept trying to convince his kinder classmates to take responsibility for at least one of the other men. “It’s gonna be impossible to help them both,” Fuyuhiko said. “It’ll be better for them if you help me.”

“You could sit between them,” Mahiru said. “And I’ve already promised Hiyoko I’ll sit with her. Sorry.”

Asking Twogami was a no-go too. “It’ll be more considerate to the other passengers if they’re both in one area,” he said. “To limit the disturbance if they become distressed.”

“I’m the one who’ll be feeling fucking distressed,” Fuyuhiko snapped.

Peko overheard, and came over at once. “I’ll take your burden, young master.”

“No, not you!” Fuyuhiko hated the whine in his tone - and he hated the smirk on Twogami’s face too. “You don’t have to do it. You sit with Gundham and pet his hamsters or something. I… I want you to be happy,” he mumbled, blushing fiercely.

Damn it. He could be as bad as Kazuichi sometimes.

There was no way to wriggle out of it. The morning of the trip dawned bright and sunny, and Fuyuhiko’s ticket set him directly between Kazuichi and Nagito. Fantastic.

At least check-in and security went by reasonably peacefully, the walk to their gate quiet. Only Akane and Nekomaru seemed to be properly awake this early in the day, and they stuck with each other. Fuyuhiko glanced at his two friends. Kazuichi still seemed half-asleep, curled on one of the uncomfortable chairs by the gate, watching the planes take off and land in the distance through the huge windows. Nagito was much more concerning. He was smiling brightly… but he didn’t look happy at all.

“Hey, Fuyuhiko, want to know how a plane engine works?” Kazuichi asked.

“No,” he said, but he sat down with a sigh as Kazuichi started talking anyway. He tuned out after a second, though Nagito looked like he was listening.

“Seeing you talk about your ultimate talent is so inspiring, Kazuichi,” Nagito said - and smiled. That weird smile again, desperate and strained.

“It’s nothing. I just think planes are interesting. From an engineering point of view. I really wish I didn’t have to fucking ride one,” Kazuichi groaned.

“Aha, I can’t help feeling apprehensive too. The last time I was on a flight, both my parents died.” Nagito spoke emotionlessly, as if reciting a shopping list, but that smile was still fixed on his face. “But it’s okay. That bad luck brought me a lot of good luck later on. You just have to have hope that things will work out.”

Kazuichi stared at him, mouth open. “Um. Okay. Sorry.” He caught Fuyuhiko’s eye and mouthed what the fuck? Fuyuhiko wasn’t sure if Kazuichi was just now hearing the story or if he was confused by Nagito’s weird behaviour. He shrugged helplessly.

There wasn’t much conversation after that. You couldn’t really carry on your casual chit-chat right after somebody brought up their dead parents. Fuyuhiko kept an eye on Nagito. He was bolt upright in his seat, his eyes staring straight ahead, hands clasped so tight in his lap his knuckles bleached white. With his pale hair and ashen face, he looked like all the blood had drained out of him completely.

Their flight number was called far too soon, and Fuyuhiko dragged his motley crew to the right aisle, pondering where to put everyone. Kazuichi should probably be on the end if he’d be passing vomit bags to some poor stewardess. Fuyuhiko needed to be in the middle, so that left Nagito by the window. He’d have to keep the shutter pulled down.

Hajime passed them on the way to his own seat, and stopped short when he saw Nagito’s face. He leaned right over Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko, ignoring their complaints and curses, and took Nagito’s hand. “Are you alright? You look… off.”

“Don’t worry about me, Hajime.”

“Your hands are clammy.”

“Ah, I’m sorry. How disgusting for you,” Nagito said, smiling. Always smiling.

“That’s not what I meant… Look, do you want to sit with me?”

“Can we move it along please?” somebody called irritably down the aisle.

“You’re holding up the line, Hajime. Don’t worry about me,” Nagito repeated. Hajime looked like he was worrying dreadfully, but he was forced to move along. Nagito clasped his hands again and fixed his gaze on the seat in front, smiling smiling smiling. It was freaking Fuyuhiko out. He looked like he was wearing a mask and his eyes were the only real part of him, swirling with turmoil.

“Hey.” Kazuichi nudged Fuyuhiko’s shoulder and whispered in his ear. “Are Hajime and Nagito… you know. A thing?”

“Mate, you told me you’ve seen them leave Hajime’s cabin together in the mornings.”

“They could just be having a sleepover. As bros.”

“I don’t think it’s that, Kazuichi.”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause I don’t want Hajime to get a new best friend,” Kazuichi said.

Fuyuhiko sighed. “I think you’re safe.”

There was a pause. Then another shoulder nudge a second later. “So Hajime and Nagito? Seriously? Am I the only person on my own in this class?” Kazuichi muttered.

Fuyuhiko was spared from responding by the flight attendants starting the safety briefing, demonstrating how to use the oxygen masks and the life jackets in case of emergency. He had to admit, it was pretty eerie to think that you could, however unlikely it may be, crash into the ocean or need extra oxygen to live long enough to get to land. He glanced over at Nagito nervously. His arms were now curled across his chest, hands gripping his elbows. His head was bent, a cloud of puffy hair hiding his face. Maybe that was for the best.

“Can you try not to puke as long as possible?” Fuyuhiko whispered to Kazuichi. “I feel like I might have a situation to deal with.”

“I’m never trying to puke,” Kazuichi said, but he seemed worried too, glancing past Fuyuhiko. “Hey, Nagito, you doing alright?”

“Don’t worry about me, Kazuichi,” Nagito said, eerily calmly.

“That’s not the same thing as saying you’re fine, is it?” Kazuichi whispered to Fuyuhiko.

“He’s clearly not fucking fine,” Fuyuhiko snapped.

“Should I ask Hajime to swap?” Kazuichi asked.

Fuyuhiko nodded, but before Kazuichi could even undo his seatbelt, the plane jerked and started reversing out of the gate. Fuyuhiko heard Nagito draw in his breath sharply - then he was the one fumbling for his seatbelt, standing unsteadily.

“What the fuck are you doing, man?” Fuyuhiko yelled, catching onto the back of Nagito’s coat as he tried to clamber over the seats. “Sit down!”

“I’m afraid I need to get off,” Nagito said, voice still calm despite his frantic movements.

“It’s already moving, for God’s sake! Sit down before a flight attendant sees you!” It wasn’t hard to force Nagito back into his seat - he seemed light enough for a strong gust of wind to knock him over - and Souda hastily got the belt fastened again just as the plane rolled onto the runway.

“Okay. It’s fine. You’re fine,” Fuyuhiko gabbled, trying hard not to shout or swear or scream at all his classmates for making him deal with this. “Just sit still and… I dunno, plug your ears. The takeoff part is the worst.”

There was a cacophony of whirring as the engines roared to life and Fuyuhiko would be very grateful for all that noise in a second, because Nagito started to laugh. Dry, hysterical laughter, his eyes over-bright and manic, lips bared in that grisly parody of a smile.

“Has he lost his fucking mind?” Kazuichi asked, sounding genuinely frightened.

“You must really hate me, Fuyuhiko,” Nagito gasped. “To restrain me here… You must despise me.”

“I’m not restraining you!”

“Then let me off.” He locked eyes with Fuyuhiko and for a second the manic grin faded. “Please…”

The engines roared to a crescendo and the plane shot forward so quickly everyone was pinned to their seats with the force, zooming on and on until they could feel the entire structure lurch into the air. Kazuichi groaned softly, shutting his eyes, but Fuyuhiko was far more focused on Nagito. He had his eyes squeezed shut too, but his hand clamped hard onto Fuyuhiko’s arm. Really fucking hard. Shit, maybe Nagito wasn’t as weak as he looked. Fuyuhiko cursed as his terrified companion started digging his nails into his skin, actually drawing blood. The pain prompted Fuyuhiko to try prying the hand loose a little, but Nagito clamped on harder, carving several new scratches. Fuyuhiko didn’t dare attempt again; he’d get his arm cut to ribbons.

When the plane was flying high and the swirling, disoriented feeling had eased, Fuyuhiko checked on both men. Kazuichi had his head in his hands, but he gave a shaky thumbs up when Fuyuhiko prodded him.

“‘M okay,” he mumbled. “Got through takeoff. Gets better when it’s levelling out.”

“Right, good. Try to stay that way, yeah? I’ve got a lot to handle right now,” Fuyuhiko sighed. Nagito was still shredding his arm up, but he could feel one finger tapping for attention.

“What? What do you need? Please, no bullshit, Nagito. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do,” Fuyuhiko said. He was practically yelling in his panic, and the people across the aisle turned to glare.

It was several seconds before Nagito could gather enough breath to speak. Fuyuhiko saw that awful smile stretch across his face again, like somebody had twisted his frown the wrong way round. “Aha, I’m sorry to trouble you, Fuyuhiko, but I think I might be having a panic attack.”

“What?” Fuyuhiko felt like he was going to have a panic attack too. “Why? What’s going on?”

“I can’t seem to catch my breath. And the cabin has been spinning for several minutes.”

“Jesus Christ! Why didn’t you say anything?” Fuyuhiko hurriedly pushed Nagito’s head down as far as it would go before it bumped the seat in front. “Fucking… think of things you can see or something? Shit, I don’t remember.”

“Five things you can see,” Kazuichi chimed in. “Is he really gonna pass out? Hajime is gonna kill us.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him for leaving this shit to us! How stupid can you get?”

“Ahh, I’m such a nuisance. If I’d known I’d react in such a shameful way, I’d have been sure to take a seat away from all the Ultimates. Why are you taking care of someone like me?”

“Nagito, shut up, this isn’t your fault,” Fuyuhiko said shortly. “Stop babbling on about ultimates and do the panic attack thing. Listen to Kazuichi, he knows how to do it.”

Nagito did as he was told, working through the grounding techniques with Kazuichi while Fuyuhiko held onto his shoulders feeling helpless. Nagito was shaking so hard it was difficult not to drop him altogether. He didn’t pass out, but even after the grounding Nagito looked far from what you’d consider calm. He was grey-white when Fuyuhiko carefully hauled him back upright.

“Are you okay..?”

The smile came back, though it seemed a lot more tired than manic this time. “Ah… I don’t think so, Fuyuhiko.”

“Well. At least you’re honest. Can you tell me how you’re feeling? Physically, I mean. Clearly I see you’re fucked mentally. And please stop smiling like that, you’re creeping me out,” Fuyuhiko said.

Nagito finally released his grip on Fuyuhiko’s arm, his nails coated with blood. He bent forward slowly, carefully, like he was terrified any sudden movements would send him spiralling again, and let his elbows rest on his knees. “I still feel slightly lightheaded. And nauseous. I’d still like to get off.”

Fuyuhiko examined the long scratches on his arm, sighing and mopping the blood with his sleeve. “Well, you’d have a long drop if you tried to get off now. You should cut your damn fingernails too. I’m going to get Hajime.” He turned to Kazuichi. “Watch him for a minute, okay? I don’t fucking care about drawing the short straw anymore, I can’t handle this.” Fuyuhiko scrambled over Kazuichi’s lap into the aisle, ignoring the flight attendant yelling for him to remain in his seat until the seatbelt signs went off.

“Hey! What did you mean drawing the short straw?” Kazuichi called behind him. Fuyuhiko didn’t look back.

“Hajime!” Fuyuhiko yelled when he was still more than six aisles away from the startled man. “You’re swapping with me!” He lowered his voice when he reached Hajime’s seat, but only marginally. “I can’t handle this. I don’t know how you expected Komeada to react to this shit, but whatever you thought, it’s worse. Way fucking worse. And I can’t help him. So go fucking do it yourself.”

“Well, I was going to swap as soon as the seatbelt signs were off,” Hajime said pointedly.

“I don’t give a shit. Look at my arm! Your fucking boyfriend nearly ripped it off at the elbow.” Fuyuhiko brandished his scratched, bloodied arm, and Hajime looked genuinely shocked.

“Oh my God…” He stood up hastily, clinging to the seats in front as the plane was still slightly off-balance. “I’m sorry, Fuyuhiko. I didn’t expect him to panic so much. He never said anything much about it when I asked.”

“Yeah, well, no offence, Hajime, but you can be as thick as three short planks sometimes. So if he implied anything, I don’t doubt you missed it,” Fuyuhiko snapped, taking Hajime’s empty seat - next to Chiaki, thank goodness. She hadn’t even looked up from her Switch this whole time. Perfect.

“I have taken some offence…” Hajime mumbled, then turned to go back down the aisle, trying hard not to catch the eyes of the other passengers staring like they were all part of a circus act. He was pretty sure the whole class was going to get banned from this airline. Gundham had been in trouble already for taking his hamsters out of their little travelling cage - several times. He was insulted by the insistence of the staff that all pets had to be contained, both by their labelling of his hamsters as mere pets and from their implication that his dark devas could ever be contained.

Hajime followed the sounds of more disgruntled passengers to Nagito’s seat. He was in the middle now, hunched over one of those white sick bags, while Kazuichi awkwardly patted his back. He looked relieved to see Hajime, beckoning frantically. “Come help me! I think he’s gonna spew. Weird that it’s not me for once.”

Hajime sighed, struggling to shuffle past his friends to get to Nagito’s other side, squashed by the window. Nagito didn’t acknowledge him. Hajime could see he had his eyes closed, his face strangely calm and smooth, though his breathing was erratic.

“Hey, Nagito? You hearing me?” Hajime called, tapping the other man’s pale cheek.

“Did I drive Fuyuhiko away?” Nagito said, voice strained. “I’m not surprised. To bother the Ultimates with the problems of an insignificant nobody like me.”

“Dude, shut up,” Kazuichi groaned. “Nobody thinks that. Stop being so weird. Fuyuhiko just doesn’t know how to look after people.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit up? I doubt you’ll throw up, you wouldn’t eat anything this morning,” Hajime said.

At that exact moment, almost as if to pointedly prove him wrong, Nagito made a choked retching sound and ducked his head down further, cringing.

“Oookay. Or not. Um. You’re okay,” Hajime muttered, placing a wary hand on Nagito’s hair to keep it out of the way. It was strange hair; soft yet thick at the same time, and it poofed up determinedly no matter how many times Ibuki tried him out with different hairstyles.

The seatbelt signs were now off, so Kazuichi stood up hastily, trying to shield Nagito from the people hurrying up the aisle to the bathrooms. Hajime was grateful, but part of him wished he could switch places with Souda. He didn’t think he’d be having to coach Nagito through something so strangely intimate so soon into their… relationship? They’d never come out and actually said they were boyfriends, not even to each other, but their classmates seemed to think they were a couple.

As Nagito really hadn’t eaten much of anything all day, the actual vomiting didn’t last too long, but the dry heaving continued for several agonising minutes, and the nausea remained indefinitely. But Nagito felt safe to lift him head, his pale cheeks dusted with pink. He smiled shakily at Hajime. “How embarrassing. I caused a scene in front of all these people. You must be lamenting the day you set eyes on me.”

“Stop,” Hajime sighed, taking the soiled bag and handing it to Kazuichi.

“Hajime!” Souda squealed, hastily handing it off to a flight attendant, who offered a bottle of water for Nagito in response. Her smile didn’t slip once. Hajime was impressed by her poker face.

“Drink,” Hajime prompted, forcing the bottle into Nagito’s hands. “I want you to try eating something later too. You’re going to pass out.”

Kazuichi sat down again, glancing at Nagito. “You feeling… okay now? Like as okay as you can?”

Nagito took a long drink of water, eyes blank. Then he smiled again, that strange, forced smile. “I really am pathetic, aren’t I? Causing such a dramatic spectacle over something that happened years ago. I don’t deserve such attention from the Ultim-“

“Stop!” Hajime took Nagito’s face in his hands, forcing him to meet his eyes. Hajime thought he saw something flicker in them, some semblance of an honest emotion. “Nagito, can you please stop trying to act like you don’t have feelings. I know you’re scared. And you know what? It’s okay. It’s completely fucking normal to feel like this right now. I shouldn’t have left you. That was me being dense, and I’m sorry. But you can stop pretending. It’s just me here - and Kazuichi, but he’ll understand too. He’s scared of everything.”

“I am not!” Kazuichi cried, outraged.

Hajime didn’t break eye contact with Nagito, both breathing heavily. Nagito glared back at first, his face twisting into a scowl, but Hajime didn’t falter.

“Let me in,” Hajime muttered. “I know you, for God’s sake. You’re not gonna scare me off. It’s okay to need help. Please.”

Another silence for several long, tense seconds. Then - finally, amazingly - Nagito made a soft frustrated noise, lunged forwards and wound his arms around Hajime’s neck so tightly that for a second Hajime thought he’d messed up so badly Nagito was trying to throttle him.

“Hey, careful,” Hajime said, but his voice was gentle and he didn’t try to pry Nagito off. Nagito let his forehead rest on Hajime’s shoulder, his hair falling to shield his face completely. Hajime snaked his own arms awkwardly around Nagito’s slender waist. He could feel Nagito shaking, feel the warm puff of his breathing against his shoulder. The shaking never eased, but as time passed the breathing seemed to calm slightly.

Nagito didn’t speak as he clung to Hajime for dear life. Not a single word. But Hajime hadn’t really expected him to. This was already a degree of vulnerability that Nagito was completely unaccustomed to showing anyone, let alone his almost-boyfriend, his classmates and an entire plane full of strangers. It was a good place to start.

Kazuichi watched them slightly bitterly. “It’s alright for some. I wouldn’t mind someone to cuddle up to,” he muttered.

“That’s your other talent. Ultimate Third Wheel,” Hajime quipped.

Their row of seats was reasonably peaceful after that, though Hajime could hear the laughter and yelling from their classmates further back. He hoped the sensible members of the group could stop them causing too much trouble. Hajime couldn’t go tell them to knock it off himself; whenever he moved at all Nagito would tighten his grip.

He sat there, hour after hour, until he had to pry Nagito off him for a bathroom break. It wasn’t easy. Nagito fought him and clung on as much as he could, though Hajime explained he’d be back in five minutes.

“Look, cling onto Kazuichi while I go pee,” Hajime suggested. Kazuichi didn’t look overly enthusiastic about that idea, but he didn’t protest.

Nagito sighed. He slowly drew back his arms, and whispered three breathy little words into Hajime’s shirt before he went, perhaps the most raw, vulnerable words Hajime had ever heard Nagito say: “Please come back.”

“I will. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured.

Nagito shifted shakily in his seat, turned to Kazuichi and lunged at him too, wrapping his arms around his neck. Kazuichi squealed and whined that he was being strangled, but he didn’t shove Nagito away. Hajime almost felt like they were new parents, passing their newborn between them: “I’ll hold him for a bit, you go to the loo.”

There was a queue for the tiny airplane bathrooms. Hajime stood impatiently, wriggling his cramped shoulders and rocking back on his heels; he was glad Nagito seemed to be trusting him more, but he was pretty stiff after sitting in the same position for hours.

Two women ahead of Hajime in the queue seemed to be having an animated discussion about something, and when Hajime caught the word “school” he started to listen properly.

“I don’t know what sort of school they come from, but they’re a strange bunch,” one lady hissed. “There’s an odd boy in the row ahead of me, one of that lot, who has a collections of rodents, all free from their cage! Running all over the seat trays! Well, that’s not very hygienic, is it? But when I told him as much, he gave me the most incredibly rude answer.”

“Young people have such foul mouths these days,” the other lady agreed.

“No, he wasn’t swearing. It was ever so strange, almost as if he was… well, you’ll think I sound silly. But it was like he was cursing me.”

It was a good job for Hajime that the toilet became available and the lady rushed inside, because he was biting his cheeks to contain his laughter. When he’d used the loo himself and gone back to release Kazuichi from Nagito’s vice grip, he recited the story for both of them.

Kazuichi laughed, poking Nagito gently. “There you are, Nagito. No need to worry. No matter how weird we are, we can always count on Gundham to be weirder.”

Nagito didn’t respond, but Hajime saw a hint of a smile - a real smile - on his lips before he buried his face in Hajime’s neck again.

#super danganronpa two #danganronpa 2 #emeto tw #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #kazuichi souda #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #panic attacks #past trauma #komahina #fear of flying #non despair au #mod circle #our writing

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turtletimewriting · 4 years

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TickleTober Day 5: Drawn On

Summary: Soulmate au where writing on your skin shows up on your soulmate’s as well.

Note: Tickle fic warning! Also, I’m well aware that this idea has been done many times before but I’ve wasted hours struggling to think of something for this prompt honestly haha! Really not that happy with this but here ya go! Soulmate LAMP, but not explicitly romantic or platonic! Lee Patton and Virgil. Ler Roman.

_._._

Patton had yet to meet his soulmates despite being able to have outright communication with them. It was pretty common that when people could write on their skin to talk to their soulmates, they immediately exchanged names and addresses. Most people met their soulmates when the writing ability manifested at 18 years old. Patton had exchanged names and addresses with most of them only to find out that they were fairly spread out among the country. Virgil refused to give his address saying that he was just too anxious (well his actual excuse was in case of them tried to kidnap him but even he recognised that that sounded very paranoid).

But that didn’t stop him from feeling connected to them. He knew that Roman typically woke up first while Logan and Virgil were both night owls and so may respond first as they had yet to sleep. He knew that Roman was very upset and jealous when Virgil said he was the tallest by far. Patton knew that they were all fascinated by the fact that he described himself as covered in freckles.

He looked forward to that small tingle of a ballpoint pen every day, always on edge waiting for someone to scribble down a note or someone wanting to talk.

But it was at midday, when he was baking some cookies and trying to time them so they would be cool to have with his lunch, that he learned another fact.

Roman was ticklish.

His eyes bulged as he felt that familiar tingle curling around his belly button. He hurriedly placed the bowl of dough on the counter before wrapping his arms around his middle. He had instantly burst into frantic giggles. Pulling up his jumper, he saw the same red glittery gel pen instead drawing wobbly flower petals with his belly button as the middle.

“Ohohohohehe hehehehe oh Romahahaheeh eheehe” Patton tried to uncap his own pen but Logan had beat him to it. A blue ball point pen quickly scribbled out along his arm: Please stop! I’m in the library!

Patton’s own wobbly writing joined his: Roman please I’m too ticklish!

Virgil merely ticked next to Logan’s statement. The tickles didn’t stop though. Now there was a bumble bee next to the flower with it’s own dashed trail going across the tummy and along their sides. After drawing a quick smiley sun, a scratchy writing formed along their ribs:

Not Roman, thank you very much! Better brother here, nice to know that I can tickle all of you at once. But I’ll let you go... right about nooooooooooow!

Patton spent a few seconds to catch his breath before smiling. Roman didn't talk much about his brother but there had been many times when that same scratchy writing would interrupt a conversation. A quickly drawn dick here and green scribbles over what they had written. But Roman assured them that he did the exact same to him.

Sorry for that! I keep suggesting we just free him into the wild already. Nice to know I’m not the only ticklish one though!

Yeah it tickled loads! Patton wrote back but turned to continue his baking.

Aww, you’re all so pathetic, Virgil scrawled himself but Patton intentionally waited a few moments. Just like he thought Virgil quickly wrote that sounds really harsh, the tone does not come across. I mean it’ s funny that you’re all ticklish.

Yeah right! I bet you are ticklish! Roman scribbled and Patton didn't even twig what that meant. Next thing he knew, he was squealing while clutching his sides. Red glittery swirls were twirling around his sides.

They tried not to tickle each other much, just sticking to writing on their arms. Obviously, they now all occasionally teased each other by tickling once a snarky mark was made. The next big time was when Patton was working in his coffee shop. The uniform was long sleeved so to give privacy to soulmate writing and no one really writes on their hands as it’s just too obvious. Meaning Patton completely missed Logan and Roman’s bickering. Which actually means that Patton immediately burst into frantic giggles when he felt that same pen tip drawing lazily over his stomach.

But there was people waiting! His co-workers were busy with their own tasks and he was stuck on the till. One person gave him a knowing smile but there was a hunched hoodie clad guy who was outright grimacing at him.

Or so he thought...

“H-hello. How can I hihihe how can I hehelp?” Patton didn't bother to hide his smile. It was probably pretty obvious his soulmates decided right now to tickle him.

“Um.... I... heh, whihite coffee!” The guy almost yelled out with his face shining bright red and his arms firmly clasped around his stomach.

“Aha, are you okay?” Patton gritted out. His gut dropping at the thought of something serious happening while he was stuck giggling away to himself.

“Sorry! I’m fihine fine! Uh, my soulmahates ahaha are being asses!” He ended up almost squealing. He had yet to even look up at him properly. But Patton was now trying to commit him to memory.

“Wait! Ahare you my soulmate? They hehe they’re drawing on eeeehe your tummy? Like zig zaggy?”

“Wha…” The man looked up now. They both lifted up their shirts just enough to see the exact same glittery pen now drawing frantic zig zags. Patton could also see on the man’s arm that Logan had wrote on their arm that Patton was at work so pack it in Roman!

Thankfully the tickling stopped soon after Logan’s writing. After taking a few deep breaths, he convinced his manager to have his break now so he could sit with his newly found soulmate.

#turtle writing #Tickling #ts virgil #ts roman #ts logan #ts patton #lee virgil #lee Patton #ler roman #fanfic #soulmate au #tickletober2020

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mia-cooper · 4 years

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2019 fanfiction in review

I usually put more effort into pimping my favourite fics of the year, boosting a few new writers in my fandoms, etc. This year, however, I have not, for reasons both within and beyond my control. Which is pretty much my excuse for not Doing Better with writing for the past month or so, but hey. At least there’s this.

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1. Best fic(s) you read all year, and why?

How can I even begin to list all the beautiful, shocking, feel-good, feel-terrible-but-in-a-good-way, envy-inducing, page-turning, soul-destroying, fluffy, hilarious, infuriating and horny fics I’ve read this year? I can’t. So I will instead list three that come immediately to mind.

@curator-on-ao3 – The Dismissed Protocol (rated T, VOY, TNG, Janeway & Crusher)

This fic made me angry. So angry that I left a ranty and incoherent comment, slammed down the lid on my laptop and stormed around the house for a bit. Why was I so pissed, you ask? Because this fic hit a good few of my personal triggers around bodily autonomy and the right to make informed choices, and because although the fic ends triumphantly, it’s somewhat of a pyrrhic victory and it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Which, considering this is fiction, is the mark of some really good writing. When it comes to tackling difficult topics with a fresh and thought-provoking perspective, and without opting for the easy answers, Curator never disappoints. This story is just one of many examples of that in her work.

@love-in-the-time-of-kolinahr – it will take place without witnesses (rated E, DSC, Pike/Number One)

Okay so let me start by saying it was the author’s fucking EXCELLENT pun of a pseudonym that made me read this in the first place. Then it was the poem they quoted (Discovery by Wislawa Szymborska, which is like a portentous rocket in the guts). Then it was Una’s scales-off-the-eyes, we-are-true-equals, don’t-bullshit-me-lover candidness in the way she sees, talks to, knows Chris Pike. I adore Pike in his laconic-space-cowboy-with-a-heart Disco incarnation, I like him a lot as the CoolDad in AOS, but this fic? This fic gives me smart, forthright, deeply tender Number One, and Pike as the fractured and very human hero I hope like hell we’ll see more of because they are definitely making a Pike series RIGHT? It is written. Anyway… this fic is beautiful and harsh and deft and real and sexy and poetic and at its core it’s about love, and who doesn’t love love?

@captacorn – Stars in a Ruined Sky (rated M, VOY, Paris/Torres)

It took me a while to read this one because CaptAcorn was posting it at the same time I was writing my epic, and I had no brain space to maintain a hold on someone else’s dark and compelling plot. But when I picked this one up, I couldn’t put it down. It is AMAZING. A Timeless AU, set in a universe where Voyager crashed and most of the crew survived, this goes where no other 100k+ epic I’ve read before has dared to tread, and it does so without flinching. The details are what make this unforgettable – there’s no magic reset button, so when something bad happens to the crew, there are actual lasting consequences – but it’s the humanity of the characters (if I can use that word to describe a crew that includes aliens) that makes it unputdownable (fuck off, my nana said that’s a word). This is not an AU I want to think happened, but CaptAcorn makes it one that rings true. And I’ll definitely read this again when I have the emotional fortitude for it.

Wow, there’s no Janeway/Chakotay in my top three. What? So here’s a bonus:

Northernexposure’s trilogy – Soft Light, Aftershocks and Resolution (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay) – three for the price of one! I mean, when northernexposure posts a new fic I race to read it no matter what, but smut! Beautifully written, true to character, sexy sexy smut from one of my all time favourite authors! How could I turn that down?

2. Best fic(s) you published all year, and why?

Mmmyeah to be honest I kinda feel as though my writing peaked in 2017, but here we go.

Desperate Measures (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay and other pairings) – because there’s angst and smut and the plot is twisty as fuck and I feel like there’s a pretty satisfying payoff. And it’s really long and relies on the reader engaging with my OCs which people seem to have done, which makes me think that if I ever do want to go write another original novel, maybe I won’t want to burn it as soon as I’m done.

This Is The Moment (rated M, DSC, Pike/Tyler) – because these two have exhausting chemistry and I couldn’t not write this but it was hard to make it come out of my brain the way I wanted it. But I’m really happy with it.

And I have a soft spot for First Officer’s Log (rated T, VOY, Chakotay & Tuvok, implied Janeway/Paris), because I just really love Threshold, okay? And while the episode is wack on so many levels there are really dark and heavy themes to explore there which I feel have gone very unexplored and I hope my fic struck that same balance between moral philosophy and holywhatthefuckery.

3. Favourite opening line(s) in a fic you published in 2019:

From Bad Maquis (rated M, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay):

The only thing more restrictive – and bosomy – than this outfit, Kathryn mused as she stared at her reflection, was her holodeck governess costume.  

Still, at least she didn’t have to leave her quarters wearing this getup, and thank goodness for small mercies. Because she was on the verge of backing down from this challenge as it was, and Kathryn Janeway did not chicken out. Ever.

I mean, it sets the scene, doesn’t it? Who doesn’t love Janeway in leather.

4. Favourite closing line(s):

This is maybe cheating a little bit because this fic isn’t finished, but this first chapter can stand alone and I won’t be continuing it for some time (first, I have to finish the two prequels, haha). Anyway, these are the closing lines from Inertia (rated T so far, VOY, Janeway/Paris and others):

When the daze clears and Tom looks up to discover that his hovercar is parked in front of an address he’s never visited but has nonetheless memorised, maybe he should feel a little bit surprised.  

He doesn’t. No matter how far he tries to go or how long he stays away from her, turning up at Kathryn Janeway’s door is inevitable.

Why do I like it? Well, I have an everlasting appreciation for Janeway/Paris, for one thing. For another, if you read the rest of the story and understand what Tom has just learned, you’ll want to know what happens next. I hope. I sure want to know.

5. The fic that was best received, and your favourite comment(s) on it:

That would be Desperate Measures again. It’s my longest fic by far and I was absolutely bowled over by the response to it, but one of my favourite comments on it is this one:

It actually looks like Janeway is saying gimme and it cracks me up.

Honestly though… the depth and kindness of comments on that fic in particular, the time and thought and effort that people have put into their reviews … it made up for every moment I wanted to chuck it in and never look at that fic again, or any other.

6. The fic you wish had gotten more love:

Honestly, I was surprised there was so little response to my @voyagermirrormarch fic trilogy, Heaven in the Shape of Hell. I really thought they’d be crowd pleasers, but it shows what I know, lol. I haven’t even finished the third one because the lack of interest made me wonder if they were just really shite, but I’m not so butthurt about it anymore and I will come back to it someday.

7. How many fandoms you wrote for in 2019, and which inspired you most:

Does Star Trek in all its incarnations count as one fandom? If so, I wrote for two (Trek and Marvel). If all the different versions of Trek count separately, I wrote for seven (MCU, AOS (that’s Trek Alternate Original Series, not Agents of SHIELD), Disco, Mirror, Enterprise, DS9 and Voyager).

Anyway, I guess I’ll never stop being inspired by Voyager, so even if Disco season 3 and the Picard show do nothing for me, I’ll always have that.

8. Your favourite pairing(s) to write for:

I mean, Janeway x Chakotay, for sure. But I’m deeply, deeply invested in Janeway x Paris at the moment.

9. What you’re writing now/next:

I’m struggling through the second part of what was supposed to be my contribution to @25daysofvoyager. I’m actually going to post the first part once I’m done with this quiz in the hope it’ll kick my ass into gear. I’m also on semi-hiatus from Kinetic Friction, but I’ll be going back to it as soon as I’m done with my 25 Days fic. At some point after Kinetic there’ll be the sequel, and then the rest of Inertia. I’m also contemplating something for Threshold Day, possibly throwing something into @voytalentchallenge (don’t count on that one), and I have an idea for a pre-Enterprise D, pre-Voyager meeting between Picard and Janeway (with smut, obvs), plus all the other fics I’m definitely going to write …

And of course there’s my meat raffle. Time to pimp that one again. Donate to AO3 and if I draw your name out of the hat of randomness I’ll write you a fic to your specifications (roughly).

10. Writing goals for 2020 (word count? new fandoms/pairings? anything?):

Look, I’d just really like to actually write to some of the prompts I’ve had sitting in my ridiculously complex filing system without getting sidetracked by the newest shiny thing to catch my eye. In terms of fandoms, I hope I’ll write more for Discovery, I’m looking forward to Picard, and I would like to branch out from Trek a bit. More MCU, definitely, and maybe others if I get inspired. The main thing I want out of writing fanfiction at the moment is for it to continue making me happy, though, so I just hope I keep having fun with it.

#miamemes #miawrites #2019 fanfiction in review

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lightneverfades · 5 years

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Emerge (Frostiron AU ficlet) / Post-Avengers End Game

Warning: Major Spoilers for Avengers: End Game! Do NOT read further if you haven’t watched the movie yet!

Summary: What if...

Summary: ... when Tony dies in his timeline, he wakes up in an alternate reality of himself where he had just defeated Loki and his Chitauri army in 2012? In the process, he realizes that he has another chance with the god he thought he lost five years ago? What will he do, knowing his choices may alter a fixed timeline that will ultimately save or bring about Loki’s untimely demise?

Note: This fic was inspired by The OA (if you haven’t watched it, I won’t spoil the premise here! Just watch, it’s a brilliant show!)! Not too sure if I’ll continue this, considering I have a limited amount of time these days, but I had to write down this muse after it occurred to me yesterday. You can tell I’m still a little in denial, haha! Anyways, hope you like it!

P.S. - Since Tony was in a long relationship with Loki, he isn’t with Pepper and therefore Morgan, unfortunately, doesn’t exist in this fic. Was very tempted to put them in here, but I just want Tony to be with Loki in this one, lol.

Music: Genesis and The Other Side by Ruelle

“ They say the end is the beginning. Well, that’s exactly what happened.

I was given another lifetime, a different timeline. Another chance… to save him.

To save Loki. From himself. From death.

From Thanos.”

Tony gasped as he felt the breath he had lost only moment ago rush back into him again, like a jolt of lightning bursting through his body, within his lungs, forcing him awake and bringing him back from the depths of darkness. He opened his eyes, the world a white blur of light.

Was he… dead?

But then Tony can feel the wind on his face, taste ash on his tongue. His vision started to focus and he was staring up at… blue skies? His body wasn’t numb… broken… unlike his last moments with his team, watching over him with tears in their eyes. The power he had felt when he held those stones and snapped his fingers. It had torn him apart…

Where am I…? Tony thought with confusion. He blinked a little more, his eyes starting to focus on familiar faces that looked down at him. Steve. Thor. Banner…? But they looked different… younger. Less wrought by time.

He tried to speak, but his throat burned with the effort, feeling as if he had inhaled fire. And now his body can actually feel pain, an indication that he was very much alive. Actually, it ached like hell, as if he had just fallen from a great height.

Wait.

“Year…?” Tony managed to rasp out, and Steve’s face, so young and full of relief now, furrowed a little in confusion.

“It’s 2012. Tony, we gotta get you to the medic. You just barely got out alive.”

2012! Tony’s eyes widened in shock. What happened? Why was he alive? He was dead, or he thought he was. How could he possibly be alive?

And then it occurred to him.

That final wish that crossed his mind before the final task.

Tony had wanted to destroy Thanos and his army… That had been his main goal for stealing those stones from Thanos, before history was close to repeating itself. Doctor Strange’s single glance indicating that this was the only possible solution for everyone’s survival made it clear.

But more than anything, Tony had hoped he would be with Loki after he was dead. His Loki...

The god he lost in the war to the mad Titan.

Tony could still remember the day vividly when Thor told him how his brother had died, knowing full well that Tony had been Loki’s lover. Well, the whole team knew. They’ve known for years since Loki actually saved the Avengers numerous times (from Ultron, or from himself, really) and tolerated his presence after they found out the truth about why Loki had come to wreak havoc on Earth. Of course, Loki hadn’t really informed the team that he was in Midgard to atone for his crimes (although Tony was the only one he knew).

“My brother… Loki… He is dead.”

He hadn’t been able to sleep well since that day. Those five years since Thanos had won had been absolute torture. No matter how many years passed, he couldn’t move on. The what if’s and missed moments came to haunt him, reminding him of a life that he could have had with Loki. It isolated him.

In a way, Tony understood how Clint felt when his whole family had been turned to dust.

When Tony had held that gauntlet, that final chance at making Thanos pay for what he had done, he did it with fury coursing through him. His sorrow of Loki’s death, the lost moments he could never get back with the god, brewed as a maelstrom of emotion within him. He knew that if he did the deed, he would die. But knowing that had almost given him a sense of peace in a way.

What was the point of living if he didn’t have anyone left to care for? He had no family except the team, which he cared for deeply. They were the ones he had to keep alive, and if that meant his impending death was going to end all suffering and undo all the hurt that Thanos had caused, then he would gladly do it. The satisfaction of seeing Thanos die by his hand had been enough for him to finally pass on in peace. That, and the hope that he’d be able to see Loki again.

And now here he was… alive and back in 2012, where it all began.

Loki, also alive and well, oblivious of the impending future.

But why 2012?

“Stark, I love you… No one else.”

“You and me both, Lokes.”

“Tony… Tony! Are you okay?”

Tony felt himself being shaken awake again, and he realized he was falling asleep a little. His body felt so exhausted suddenly as if this new state he was in and the knowledge of the future he had was sapping him of energy.

He nodded groggily. Tony felt Steve wrapping an arm around his chest so that he was standing supported by the Captain. He wasn’t really focused as much as he blindly followed out of the rubble of New York City. He heard the blaring sound of the ambulance and the smoke that rose from the destruction that the Chitauri, and inevitably the Avengers, had caused.

“We’re getting you some help, alright? The medics will be here, and we’ll take care of Loki. You get some rest—“

As soon as Tony heard the god’s name, he struggled, “No! I have to come with you. I’m fine, really. See!”

Tony tore away from Steve, to prove he could stand on his own. He managed, barely, willing himself not to fall. Steve looked at him with concern, a small frown emerging and Thor raised his eyebrow a little as well. But then the thunder god wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulder, stabilizing the man’s wavering footing with an encouraging laugh.

“The Man of Iron wants to see this through to the end! Let us go then, I will take you!” Thor boomed, eager to help. Tony couldn’t help but smile; it’s been a while since he’s seen Thor so stable and happy, unlike the one he knew in his future. The thought of seeing Thor lose everything, of knowing what was going to pass, pained him.

“Thor, wait- Tony, I get it, you want to be the one to see Loki get put away in chains. But I don’t think now’s the right time-,” Steven started but Tony shook his head, determined to get his way.

“I need-“ Tony paused, catching his breath, “-this.”

Steve looked at Tony for a while, studying him, before finally nodding. “Alright. But then you’re getting checked out by a doctor.”

Tony let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Cap.”

He got a nod as Tony felt Thor wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him upward. Then they were rushing through the air. It was exhilarating, the same way he always felt when he was defying gravity in his Iron Man suit. It always made him invincible, even when he knew he wasn’t. Tony saw his old Stark tower closing in. Loki is in that building now... The thought of seeing Loki alive made his heart beat faster in his chest.

Thor landed them abruptly on top of the Stark tower balcony. Tony wavered, and the thunder god caught him quickly.

“Come. Our angry, green friend has caught my brother.”

Tony nodded, and he hoped the god didn’t catch onto any of his nervousness now. I can’t mess with the time. Who knows what will happen if I do? I might be altering my past as well. Or… am I actually here now, hiding in the background? Is Scott here too, with Cap?

The thought of seeing his team members, the ones that actually know his past, warmed his heart a little, but at the same time, he wasn’t too sure if he could bear seeing not just Steve and Scott but himself. He had an inkling he was here now, which was ironic considering he was now from the future.

Mess with time, and it messes back at you, Tony thought warily as he stepped into his old living room. He saw a large, green shape - Banner, no Hulk… that was fast, he’d been downstairs only a minute or two ago - hovering over an unconscious body on the ground.

Loki… Tony saw the shape of the mischief god and he felt his body shiver and his heart skip a beat, his throat feeling drier than it already was. He wanted to tear away from Thor’s supportive arm, pound his fists into Loki and shake him awake. More than ever, he wanted - like he had wanted when he first went through the time heist to get the infinity stone - to embrace Loki. Of course, he would kick the god’s ass for leaving him, of course, but the pain of those five years would mend quickly, knowing he had Loki back. But he couldn’t… not yet anyway. Not when he knew he would draw too much attention here.

“Puny god,” Hulk grumbled, glaring at the unconscious god and continued to grunt with a growl on the tip of his tongue. There was a sound from the elevator area, and Tony saw how quickly Steve and the rest of his team came up to capture Loki and stabilize the situation.

Nat… Tony thought softly to himself as he saw Natasha come towards him with Loki’s scepter. She looked just as young and beautiful as he had seen her before their last moments at the time machine. He caught her sharp gaze and hoped he wasn’t giving anything away that made him look suspicious. But then again… they probably wouldn’t suspect he was a future self trapped in his former body, reliving the past. If anything, Nat would probably laugh.

“You’re looking a little pale. Maybe you should sit this one out,” Natasha remarks, narrowing her eyes as she glanced over Tony’s appearance.

“No, no, I’m fine.”

Natasha didn’t say a word after, although her stare lingered longer than Tony would have liked. Of course, she senses something amiss… Tony thought, feeling a small sense of pride for Natasha. She turned her back on him now, her attention focusing primarily on the unconscious Loki.

Probably distracted by the fact that she was holding a weapon that could cause chaos in the wrong hands, Tony thought as he watched the weapon glow ominously, still exuding power. It was a powerful tool of deadly persuasion, which Tony knew only too well from Loki.

Tony walked closer, and he saw the god of mischief. He was cut and bruised, knocked out cold by a rather strong blow brought on by the Hulk. In spite of all this, Tony couldn’t help but notice how peaceful Loki looked.

It reminded him of the face he used to watch after they had made love and the god had fallen asleep beside him. They used to embrace underneath the sheets, willing themselves to forget the pain and darkness that kept coming their way. Of course, we took them on like every other day…

No matter what happened in their lives, those stolen moments had been one of the best memories of his life.

That was until Thanos took Loki away from him.

Tony saw Loki stir, shards of glass and pieces of rubble falling off of his armor. Then he saw the god’s eyes open slowly. He had to suppress a hitched breath at the sight of them. What once had been overtaken by an icy cold blue were gone, the lush emerald hue of Loki’s original eye color taking over again. They looked upwards at them, at him, and Tony felt his insides twist in a knot as he saw Loki’s face contort in confusion, anger and then amusement - a defence Tony knew Loki used to his advantage every time something went wrong.

“If it’s all the same to you… I’ll have that drink now,” Loki drawled and this time, the god looked at Tony with a small smile, as if he were sharing an inner joke. Which he was, although Tony was the only one who knew.

“Not gonna happen,” Clint snaps viciously as he took out a suitcase, which Tony knew carried the chains given by Thor to prevent Loki from escaping. Of course, that was theoretical, since Loki had later confided in Tony a few years later that if he had wanted to escape, he could have easily done so, but instead, the god had gone along with the charade of playing the captive…

“Huh… Why? You just said you could’ve taken them off. Why did you let us take you away like that?” Tony asked, genuinely curious now as he handed Loki a glass of whiskey. They were sitting a good length away from each other, but close enough to hear each other speaking. The room was lit by a single light on the other end of the living room slash bar (cause really, it was the best of both worlds).

The god raised his eyebrows, looked at the brown liquid for a moment and Tony could see the god was contemplating whether or not he should he drink it.

Maybe he thinks I poisoned it, Tony thought with an inner chuckle.

“I do owe you that drink, don’t I?”

Loki shrugged, and then he brought the glass to his lips and sipped cautiously.

Tony laughed then, even though they weren’t still exactly friends.

He was only letting Loki stay a little to recuperate that day, esp. after the god had come to save the Avengers from his own creation, Ultron. Vision had been the hero that day, sure, but without Loki’s help, millions more of Sokovia’s citizens would have died. It had been so unexpected, considering Thor had told the Avengers that Loki had died in battle in their own world. No one still knew how he ‘survived’, or if he was dead at all.

“Boredom, perhaps?” Loki answered with a question mark added on the end, a mischievous grin spreading on his lips. Tony raised his eyebrows in response.

“I thought you had a reputation for being the God of Lies, Reindeer Games,” Tony responded back, clearly seeing through Loki’s facade.

“Mmm, it seems you see right through me, Stark.”

Tony felt Loki set the glass down on the nearby table, walking a little closer towards him. As soon as he took those first steps, Tony was already up and calling on his suit. But in reality, he didn’t really need to. Loki wasn’t smiling or looking anything like his devilish self; if anything, he just looked genuinely sombre.

“Then perhaps… it is guilt.”

The repulsor hand Tony had raised in Loki’s direction as a warning quickly lowered then. Maybe he had judged Loki way too quickly? Looking at Loki’s expression now, something clicked.

“You never wanted to attack New York, did you? It was the scepter that made you do it, wasn’t it?”

Loki didn’t reply, but his eyes told a story and Tony could tell he was right.

“Why didn’t you tell your brother? Thor told me you didn’t protest when they locked you up.”

Tony almost expected the god to snap at him or attack him then and avert his attention away from that question. Maybe in Loki’s shoes, he might’ve if he didn’t want to explain himself. Tony couldn’t quite tell if Loki was going to continue this conversation, but for the first time he saw something in the god that he recognized, and it was weariness. He could see the god’s eyes filled with a sense of sorrow that even he probably hadn’t felt in his lifetime.

“I deserved to be shut away. My time with the mad Titan has shown me many horrors, and he wrought that misery and pain using me as his vessel.”

Loki took the glass of whiskey again, and this time he drank it all up.

“But you couldn’t have controlled it. Barton couldn’t. Anyone that gets near that thing… it distorts everyone’s mentality for the worst,” Tony heard himself saying, and he wondered - not for the first time- why he was feeling sorry for the god or felt the urge to protect him. Maybe he knew a little something about betrayal in the acutest form. Maybe… reading that file about Loki, hearing Thor’s further conversation about the Odinson family history made him a little soft for the god that stood before him now.

Loki chuckled, and it was bitter now, “There are no excuses, no consolations, for what I have done in the Titan’s name. After my fall, I killed thousands. I wanted, more than ever, to quench my thirst for power and blood was what I needed, regardless whose it may be. The death of your people meant nothing if I could eliminate Thanos’s enemies and execute his plans for genocide. That is how much I had fallen!”

“That wasn’t you, he was controlling you, right? With that scepter of yours-“

“No, it was me!” Loki snarled now, and Tony could see anger burn in those green eyes, hatred fuming at the edges. “The scepter does make you do its bidding, yes. But all of the devastation I caused was from me. Nothing else!”

Tony watched as Loki tried to calm himself, and he could see the god’s hands were trembling from the effort. “Why are you back then?”

“I…” Loki faltered, hesitation clear in his voice, “I wish to atone. I wish… to join your team.”

Tony’s eyes widened a little. “Join the Avengers?”

“Yes, that is what I said, did I not?” Loki spoke and there was an inkling of amusement in the god’s eyes. Tony can see himself reflected in them.

He probably looked stunned. He really hadn’t expected that.

But then again he was Loki’s brother.

“Huh.”

“I have surprised you.”

“I’m thinking you were aiming for that effect,” Tony responded back.

Loki smiled and the mischief in his expression was evident. “Oh yes, I was…”

For the first time, a genuine laugh escaped Tony. In that moment, he felt a certain companionship for the god, the jaded history of their meeting diluted and become replaced with a better memory. That and, oh, the fact that he could tease Loki with ideas of a silly heroes’ costume.

We’ll have that moment soon, Tony thinks, but he knows it’s not as quick as he would have liked. After all, it was in 2015 that he finally got a chance to understand Loki and really connect with him. History needed to repeat itself in order for him to be with the Loki he fell in love with… but time was a cruel mistress.

“Get up!” Thor orders and he forces Loki to his feet, taking the overly sized bronze shackles and clamping them over Loki’s wrists. The god winces a little as the mechanism of the Asgardian chains wrap around his wrists tightly, the gears moving of its own accord. Tony couldn’t help but turn away at that; not being able to do anything and seeing Loki in pain hurt like hell.

Natasha had the scepter trained on Loki as a warning, and Tony shied away from the glow. He had been fortunate enough to be absolutely unaffected by the stone before, but Tony didn’t want to take any chances, now that he was here.

Which made Tony wonder… if he was here, then where was his 2012 self? Was he… gone? Had he erased that other self from existence forever? Did this mean he was going to have to live through his own past again?

Is that so bad? A small part of him spoke softly. Tony really didn’t know what was better.

“Let’s get him out of here,” Tony heard Steve speaking in the background.

He turned as he heard the elevator doors open again and he saw S.H.I.E.L.D agents - no, HYDRA - come up. The soldiers followed the agent in the front line, who held a long suitcase, without question. Tony felt the same distaste as when he’d learned about HYDRA’s existence. He really wanted, more than anything, to tell his team here and now that these men were enemies, that those weren’t really allies of S.H.I.E.L.D. But of course, he couldn’t. Not if he wanted to keep everything balanced.

I’d mess up everything, Tony thought with frustration as he watched Natasha give the scepter to the agent with the suitcase. Cap… he needs those stones to defeat Thanos. It has to be this way…

He watched, a bystander of time, as the HYDRA team left with the large suitcase holding Loki’s scepter. Tony’s hands had balled into fists.

“Tony, you hold the Tesseract,” Steve spoke as he handed Tony a suitcase. Tony nodded, although he wondered why the Captain was asking him to hold onto the Tesseract, knowing how Tony wasn’t in the best shape. But then he didn’t really question it. His future self had everything planned out to take it away from him - it’d be better if he was holding it, then Steve, since his next plan involved a little electrocution.

Not a fun thought… Tony mused at the thought as he remembered that moment when he saw himself writhing in pain on the floor near the reception desk. Nope, not fun at all.

“I’ll go ahead to secure the premises and make sure there isn’t any other threats we’ve missed,” Steve announced.

Oh boy, need to stall him…

“Wait, Captain, you gotta come with us. Loki’s still uh, dangerous fugitive and we need all eyes that we can get,” Tony started, trying to stir Steve away from the door that led to the stairs.

“No can do, Stark. I’ll see you soon.”

Tony followed the rest of the team as Thor dragged Loki away and into the elevator, where he too stepped inside. He purposefully stayed a few inches away from the god, forcing himself not to look in Loki’s direction. Tony was a little amused when Hulk had a bit of a tantrum for not being allowed into the elevator, but other than that, his heart couldn’t stop beating so hard. It was ridiculous just how lovesick he felt as if he were some character from a romcom. But then maybe that was what love did to you.

The ride down was filled with silence, especially after the muzzle was put on Loki. And yet, in spite f the silence, Tony could feel a tension in the air. The team was clearly still on alert. There was another thing where he could feel that particular someone watching him from the other side of the elevator. Tony ignored the intense stare as much as possible.

What was he going to do now though? Was he going to have to let the sequence of events take hold? Tony knew he messed up the first time when he and Scott went after the stone. That plan hadn’t really worked, and he had ended up going back in time to his father’s timeline… Should he let all of that unfold? Or did he have a choice? Could he make it easier for his former self?

Or more importantly…

Could he change time so Loki lived?

Tony could still feel a presence staring at him, and he couldn’t bear to ignore it anymore. He turned to look.

Loki was watching him, silently observing him from the corner of his eye. But it was enough to see that the god was intrigued by something, which Tony tried desperately to hide. He tried to keep his composure as much as possible, yet this time he couldn’t stop looking into Loki’s eyes.

And then he heard it.

Why is your heart beating so fast, Anthony Stark?

Loki’s voice slid through his mind like a serpent, nestling comfortably. Tony felt his body shiver at the magical contact. He wanted to embrace it, but another part of him was panicking. Shit, shit, shit.

Blasphemy does not suit you. But I commend you for winning this time, mortal. I do believe you and I are not so different when it comes to our morals, Loki’s silky voice spoke. So tell me… what are you hiding?

I’m not hiding anything!

I could easily break you apart, here and now, right in front of your comrades. You avoid my glance, your heart rate speeds up when you see me. You are afraid. If I were to take a guess, I daresay you may very well be in love, but that is close to impossible, all things considered.

Of course not, Tony thought quickly, maybe a bit too fast. He heard the elevator chime and saw the floor was close to stopping. He eyed the numbers, descending excruciatingly slow. Meanwhile, he could hear Loki’s amused chuckle.

Mmm, you are not a very good liar.

Tony felt Loki’s presence subside, and he let out a breath of relief. He broke his eye contact with Loki when Thor pushed his brother out of the elevator, and into the large hallway.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Clint stated as they stepped out of the elevator. Tony was in front, with Clint, Thor and Natasha training all their weapons on Loki. Even from the corner of his eye, Tony can feel the god watching him, can almost imagine the trademark grin spreading on the god’s lips.

He turned a fraction and saw a man wearing the suit of special forces near the reception desk, lingering a little too long for a normal soldier. Yup, that was him.

Tony saw the HYDRA team again now, and this time it was Alexander Pierce himself and his merry gang.

Great, just what I needed… Tony thought distastefully but he smiled brightly on the outside, showing off his pearly whites. He hoped the son of a bitch wouldn’t notice the disgust in his eyes.

“May I ask you where you’re going?” Pierce spoke.

“A bit of lunch and then Asgard. I’m sorry, you are?” Thor questioned.

Tony went through his script, or at least he improvised, pretty stealthily. He was probably a pretty good actor, all things considered. Maybe he should have gone into the Hollywood business. Oh, that would have made Loki laugh… Tony thought for a split second before he focused on reenacting his past. After all, Scott was probably going to zap him any minute now. In nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two… one.

The shock was to be expected, but Tony felt the jolt of pain all the same. It knocked him off his feet, shook him apart. It wasn’t as bad as his last moments when his whole body was scorched from the effects of the stone, sure, but it still hurt. A lot.

“Stark?” Pierce’s voice echoed ever so faintly as Tony let go of the grip on his suitcase. He forced himself to look before he fell, saw the suitcase slide over to the his other self, that waited for the case to come into his hands. Ingenious as it was, Tony almost wanted to hate that other guy who let his past self go through this pain. And yet, a part of him was also a little relieved.

Everything is going as it should be…

Like I said, Stark. You are a very terrible liar, a familiar voice pierced through his haze of pain and before Tony could even think to reply, he knew he had made his first mistake: letting Loki in.

Through the surprised cries, most likely created from the commotion the Hulk had made after bursting through the long stairwell, Tony felt a hand on his shoulder. The pain immediately dissipated. He gasped and blinked, expecting to see Thor’s face. Instead, he was staring into the face of the mischief god, who smiled broadly, the muzzle now gone.

“Loki! No!” Tony heard Thor’s angry roar and he flinched, feeling his exhausted body being hoisted up. He thought he could hear a crackle of thunder, but he knew he was probably acting as Loki’s human shield now. From the corner of his eye, he could see a blue glow and realized that Loki was now free of the Asgardian chains as well, the other hand gripping the Tesseract tightly.

“Goodbye, brother,” Loki nonchalantly.

Wait, I can’t! Tony thought, but it was too late. The whole room disappeared before his eyes, and he was now standing in a dark room of some sort. Loki let him go as soon as they were away from the past he knew.

“Oh no,” Tony heard himself whisper. He tried to get up, but the effects of the shock he’d gotten still rendered him a little weak on the knees. And second, he couldn’t see a thing except for the glow of the Tesseract in Loki’s hand.

He heard a snap and the lights came on, revealing a luxury suite of some kind. The designs were the same as Earth though, thankfully enough.

“I do need to thank you, Man of Iron. Without your help, I really wouldn’t have seen quite the error of my ways. You didn’t think a mere muzzle and some chains could hold my magic, now, did you?” Loki drawled and smiled, the glimmer of mischief evident in his eyes.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen. Loki, we have to go back! You’re not supposed to-“ Tony started, trying to get up. It was a painstaking process - he should have anticipated this.

“No doubt it wasn’t quite what you planned… Yet it is what it is, no?” Loki spoke, and Tony watched as the god squeezed the Tesseract cube in his grip. It splintered and broke until finally, the sound of glass breaking sounded. Tony had to close his eyes for a moment before he saw Loki with the stone, the blue Space stone floating in Loki’s palm.

“What are you doing?”

Fear crept up in Tony now, and he knew it wasn’t for him now. It was for Loki. Of course, the fear of messing with the timeline was there, but more than anything, he wanted to keep the god safe from himself.

“Loki, whatever you’re planning, don’t do it. You’re better than this.”

“And how do you know this, Stark?” Loki snaps back at Tony, and this time he realizes that he’d once again judged Loki wrong. He thought he had seen glee in those eyes, but it was an illusion. Behind the grand facade, the god’s smile was a desperate attempt to hide his despair.

I know you’re hurting. That pain isn’t going to go away. You won’t be able to get over it anytime soon. But don’t run away from it. That stone isn’t going to save you.

“Why are you acting so wise, all of a sudden?” The god snarled. “A moment ago, you were happy to see me fall, like the rest of your silly group. I am the villain in this story, am I not? I will be called the monster that devastated your short. Pathetic. Lives!”

Loki struck out and Tony, without his suit, was hit full with the power of Loki’s magic. He felt his body bang into the wall, making a good dent of it. The glass around them broke a little, and he saw that he was still in New York. Loki hadn’t travelled far, and of all places, the god had decided to get a room with a good view. Figures.

He got up as fast as he could, but it still wasn’t fast enough. One minute, he was dragging himself up, leaning heavily on the wall behind him, and the next he was pressed right into it, Loki’s free hand (the one not holding the stone) pushing his aching back to the wall.

“You’re not a monster.”

“Such conviction. And yet you know nothing!” Loki hissed, eyes filled with anger. Tony flinched as he felt the energy of the stone permeating from it. Somehow though, seeing it so close again, Tony wasn’t afraid. This time, the threat of death seemed almost pointless, considering he had died once before.

“I’ll prove it,” Tony said, staring up at Loki with determination.

“You canno- NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON’T!”

Tony had reached out his free hand quickly to grasp the floating Space Stone, knowing full well that touching it will most likely kill him. Again. But his life wasn’t as important now. He’d lived all the lives he was meant to. Getting this second chance… he needed to use it not just for himself, but for the god he loved.

Tony was pushed aside so quickly, he hadn’t even noticed until he was on the ground, his hand still intact. Loki, on the other hand, looked as flustered as ever.

He smiled up at Loki with a knowing grin, “See?”

“You fool! The stone would have destroyed you!”

“Mmm, I was counting on it.”

Loki looked at Tony in disbelief. “Why would you be so reckless? How could you stake your life on a petty gamble such as this?”

Think of the timeline… Tony thought then, and he felt all the agony of loneliness, self-loathing and sadness he had felt the past five years come back to haunt him now. Seeing Loki now, alive and breathing, was a gift. But the future was a curse, something he wished he could change from the bottom of his heart. Was there no other way? Could he not trick time into letting Loki live?

A gamble, eh? Maybe I’ll have to take that chance.

“For you, I’d do anything,” Tony spoke, his voice coming off softly. He could see the anger and disbelief dissipate, replaced with confusion.

“Why!? What are you hiding, Stark?” Loki demanded.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” Tony said with a small smirk. “I’m from the future.”

#frostiron #my fic #i couldnt resist the temptation of that scene #i can almost say that different alternate timeline kind of gives me life right now #my frostiron #im still a learning writer lol so i might be repeating some words #excuse any errors

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officialthiamlibrary · 6 years

Text

Happy Friday!! We’re back at it again, with an exclusive profile of the one, the only @fandomtrashwhore, aka Marie! You’ve seen her instagram aesthetics, from Hunger Games to Parent Thiam AU to New Years’ AU. And now, we had the opportunity to learn more about her creative process and her life well…behind the screens. Let’s get it started!

Marie! Why not start us off with a simple introduction. Who is fandomtrashwhore? Or the artist behind her? The twist: the word count should be equal or less than the # of letters of the characters in your favorite TW rarepair ship.

Theo Raeken + Mieczyslaw Stilinski = 29

My name is Marie, I’m 19 years old and from Germany. My life is dedicated to my fandoms but besides that I’m an apprentice as an technical product designer.

Ha, I see whatcha did there with ‘Mieczyslaw.’ Smart, very smart! A Technical Product Designer! What does that entail? Do you like it so far?

I don’t know if there’s a perfect translation for it and I’m bad at explaining (that’s why I’m not a writer and my answers in this interview are gonna be shit :’D). I like the 3D drawing part most and till now I’m quite good at it and even ‘job school’ is pretty good. I feel like Hermione cause I always know the answer and my grades are on point af (which definitely wasn’t like that in my previous schools. I never said anything in class).

Pst, who said you have to be a good writer to have a good time? Just do you haha. That’s what we’re all here for any. That’s super interesting though. What’s another thing our fandom would be surprised to know about you?

I have to confess that I didn’t really mind Theo or Liam before season 6? Like I knew they were there and I liked them but I was too focussed on other characters + I didn’t know they wanted to end Teen Wolf then and felt like they wanted to shove the main pack away to replace it with Liam and his gang. (Now I’m all over the puppy pack ).

AND I watched the whole show till 5B or season 6 (not so sure) in one go and that’s why it felt like Theo and Liam both joined around the same time. (Even if there was one whole season between them…wtf.) I remember that I sometimes couldn’t even tell who was Liam and who was Theo cause I thought that they ‘looked alike’…BITCH WHERE? This is more than embarrassing, but every time I watch a show in one go I have trouble learning the names (when the name is said in the show I usually know who they mean but if I talk about it to someone I sometimes can’t remember the names cause I watched 3 seasons within a week…. :’D ). I definitely need to rewatch and appreciate them more this time cause they’re such amazing characters.

*Actually Cackling* Were there any other characters you were hazy on? Like, would Garrett be the “angry, tiny blonde one” to you?

No it’s embarrassing af. :’D And I know who Garrett is and what he did and he was indeed an angry tiny blonde kid, but I don’t remember details. Sadly (I mean I think he only was there for a few episodes so I don’t think there was much detail so I’m good as long as I know his storyline). :’D

Truth. When I started watching Supernatural, until (at least) midseason 2, I called both Sam and Dean, DeanSam cause they were always together when someone addressed them. So, you’re not alone, eek. Now, THAT’S embarrassing.

So, how did you go from ‘kid, what’s your name?!’ to Thiam instagram aesthetics and our fandom? What drew you in?

I think I jumped on the train quite late (cause as I said I didn’t really mind them), but I think I shipped them before but just realized it last season. So, I think I first felt something for them during their fight in the hospital because I was ‘fun-shipping’ them (not really fun but I wasn’t deep into it cause I didn’t bother checking their ship name or anything but I was like ‘lol. They’re gay for each other) during 6B and then I completely lost it in episode 6 of that season and realized that it is a real thing and it’s love.

From that moment I was a mess and died the last few episodes cause I thought they either make it canon or kill Theo off (and maybe make it canon) but neither happened so….ok. :’D I’m sad that I only had like two weeks left with them but since then it’s been a wild ride and they brought me new internet friends ( a whole pack) and made me tumblr fame … it’s crazy how inspiring they are for edits. I just can’t stop. :’D

BUT how I found my way into the Teen Wolf fandom is a bit funnier I think…(at least for me) :’D

This has now become the moment where I ask, “Marie, can you tell us how you got into the Teen Wolf fandom? Lol”

Idk if it’s funny if you don’t know my friends and me personally. But I always had this little group to talk about series with. Mostly The Walking Dead and Game Of Thrones but sometimes other series. A friend of mine, Lucas, once mentioned that there’s a series called ‘teen wolf or something like that’ and that he knows that one character looks like one of our classmates (his name is Tobi). He was talking about Derek and even showed me a pic AND HE REALLY FUCKING LOOKS LIKE HIM (I mean in close up you know it’s not him but you know…).

He already had a beard really really soon (he looked like 20 when he was 15 or something because of it) BUT NOW he looks even more like Derek cause I met him again, like a year ago, in a club and he lost weight and is working out now and….he’s really a Derek look alike (I wish I could show you but privacy…).

After laughing about that I never heard about that series again till I watched the trailer on youtube, and I have no idea why, but it was around new years eve 2015 to 2016 cause I thought about starting it and told a friend of mine on new years eve and showed her the trailer and she also thought it was cool and we started it about a week after that and binge watched the shit out of it.

BUT I ALWAYS HAD THAT PICTURE OF MY CLASSMATE IN MIND WHEN I SAW DEREK. And I still call Derek Tobi when I talk to my best friend who doesn’t watch teen wolf about teen wolf and want to explain something to her.

Lol are you kidding me?! That’s hilarious! And, I’ll raise you. I have a friend Michael who is a spitting image of Scott–skin tone, jaw, hair and all. I wonder if your Tobi/Derek and my Michael/Scott met, would they have a Scott-Derek-esque relationship haha! Since we’ve veered towards Friends, let’s say you, 4 characters from TW, and 1 of you personal friend were living in a Friends-type sitcom. Who’d you bring into your inner circle and which antics would yall get up to?

Ok! This is exciting! So it would be Stiles, Theo, Mason, Liam and my best friend Michelle (she doesn’t watch teen wolf but the hell do I care). We would just be such a funny sassy pack. Do you know that ‘meme’: ‘My friendship comes in 3 levels: Sass, insults, inappropriate sexual humor’? That would be so us. Michelle and me are basically Stiles and that meme describes our friendship so well; we’re really soulmates so I want the whole pack to become that close too.. Theo is a sassy ass anyways and Mason is also on fire.

Liam would suffer under our jokes and always be the one who makes bad jokes only he laughs about and the rest just laughs about him, but we still love him. Michelle and me would ship the hell out of Theo and Liam (and Mason and Corey are goals af). Mason would be sceptical at first but together with Corey–I can’t have Mason without Corey…sorry?–we get him to join us.

Sometimes, Liam and Theo even go with it and flirt for fun just to piss Stiles off who somehow ended up stuck with us after Scott left for college and Stiles decided to quit the FBI and now works as a police officer at the station. Of course, Thiam gets real and no one really notice it at first cause we think it’s just another prank on Stiles until we catch them making out in my kitchen during a pack meeting. There are also a few other pranks since we’re the sassy pack. Stiles mostly uses his position as a police officer, like towing our cars or getting us a ticket. Theo’s pranks are a bit shocking at the beginning since he needs to learn how to be a decent human being. Liam and my pranks fail most of the time. Michelle and Mason are the prank master team; they always come up with the craziest ideas.

Yassss of course, Corey would be there. There’s always a significant other who’s there so often, they become part of the group lol. That sounds like my kind of party, all the chaos and sassy destruction. All the creativity, it’s the perfect segway to our next topic of the day: fandomtrashwhore, aka your creativity.

If your creativity was a person, what type would they be? What would they do? Wear? Listen to? Handle conflict?

I think it would just be a furious working single mother? Cause during the week I’m working and even if I have nothing to do after work I only seem to be able to edit at weekends and then I sacrifice my whole weekend to it like it’s my child. And furious cause once I have an idea in my head, I drown myself in pic finding which can be so exhausting and I bet I look like a stressed single mom during that cause I’m having so many tabs open and so many search phrases to throw at google in my head at the same time.

I also have specific pics in my head and I could cry if I don’t find a perfect pic to fit that image in my head. I mostly listen to the Airplanes playlist I made while editing but I also love artists like Ed Sheeran and Halsey so that would also fit quite well to keep that person calm and grounded. I also think my creative process is quite vulnerable and moody cause sometimes I can’t wait to edit and other times I feel like I never want to edit again and I need to force myself to (during editing I love it again tho). And vulnerable cause like I said I hate when I can’t find a decent pic and could cry. Same goes for if the app crashes during a long edit or if something won’t go how I want it and my patience dies.

Does that single mother furiously create outside of the Thiam fandom too?

Yes, I do social media au’s for all my fandoms (at least I want to, till now I only have a few.) I’m not a writer but I have a started Sherlock fanfic with a trailer (I like the trailer tho and some one shots to several fandoms on wattpad. I’m ashamed of them cause I’m a bad writer but I can’t stop trying :’D So here’s my Wattpad. Don’t expect too much!!

I mentioned the trailer for my Sherlock before and right now I’m also working on a trailer ( more like ‘short movie’) for and OC (who ended up to be Marie Avgeropoulos) x Negan from The Walking Dead.Till now it’s 13 minutes long and I love the shit out of it. I never drew for a fandom before (german youtube back in the days, I had instagram fanpages. I still have them but I don’t edit for them anymore cause series took over my life. If you know german youtube and are interested contact me but they’re not that important for most of the people reading this, I think. ANYWAYS, what I wanted to say is that I want to draw something Thiam or rather Airplanes themed soon.

Oh AND I and my best friend (Michelle from before) used to write our fanfics (mostly about german youtubers) over whatsapp back in the days. It was legendary but also very unrealistic and hilarious. Sadly, we lost most of them when we got new phones which breaks my heart.

Dang, that’s tragic. Thankfully, you still have the memories. From trailers to Whatsapp/Wattpad fics, they’ve all led you to this moment: Instagram aesthetics. How’re you inspired when choosing a theme?

Most of the time I find a pic that inspires me to an edit theme. E.g., I saw the 3rd pic of The Buck’s party pic on Liam’s profile for the engagement & wedding edit coincidentally on tumblr or something and was like: “Yes, that could be Liam carried by Stiles and the boy on the right is Scott and the girl is Lydia and the pic was taken by Mason….why would something like this situation happen….A BUCK’S PARTY! I NEED TO DO A ENGAGEMENT AND WEDDING AU. Then, the other pictures and ideas just find their way.

I also accept requests (like the new year eve one) or I’m inspired by a post (like for example when I did the Thiam Mykonos one.

And when you search for photos, what’s your process for choosing the best ones?

Most of the time, the story of my au’s is formed by the pics I find. Like I have an idea and look for pics and then I see which pics make a logic story. Most of the time, I don’t know myself how I find so good pics and I bet I could never find them again (I tried once after I lost some), cause I found them so deep in the internet. Mostly, I google pretty weird sentences and I wonder what the NSA is thinking of me. :’D For example, I googled “Throwing Tampons” for an Airplanes related edit once. I bet whoever observes me thinks I’m a killer when I look for aesthetics (especially when I did the The Walking Dead aesthetics) and googled for bloody pics. I nearly threw up a few times tho while doing so.

Finding pics is a harder job than you might think; I would say it takes more time than the editing itself, but I can’t say for sure cause once I start editing I’m lost in some sort of tunnel and suddenly it’s dark outside. When I want to google for ‘natural’ pics, I mostly add ‘snapchat’ or ‘instagram’ behind it (e.g. ‘couple eating take out food snapchat’). Also, you can find good pics on pinterest (my Pinterest name is ‘Marie Rosa’ btw), especially aesthetical and gay couple pics!

Deciding is even harder cause I often have 50 pics in my folder and can only use 12. Then, I check which one I definitely want to have in the edit and which I liked best and are the most decent ones to the images I had in mind.

When there are people on it, it’s also important that they look like the characters they should portrait. After that, I still have 20 pics left and cry because I love them all. Then I make two new folders to decide which ones are for Liam’s and which ones are for Theo’s profile and then I delete some more pics with a hurting heart (or I save them for other edits some day) and look which pics fit best together (when I edit aesthetics, similar color is a big topic). The biggest mess is when I get more ideas during editing or realize that one pic I thought I liked doesn’t fit at all and stop to look for more pics and the whole order I had is thrown away again and I need to start again. :’D

My goodness, I remember seeing you and Sammy (@glitter-cake20) talk about finding pics before on Discord, but that is…really involved. Are there times when you create your own images instead? If so, which edits/manips have been your favorite?

I would say the Hunger Games one was my best manip, but I also like the one in the Thiam parent AU where I replaced Cody’s cat with a baby two times. And, nearly all manips I did for my Airplanes series, especially Disney Kiss (I just edited Dylan on Cody’s ex-girlfriend…lol…no regrets), the bowling pic, all the pack video calls in which I added some more heads and the ones of Derek and Stiles in NYC. I also love the one of Mason and Liam carrying watermelons in the Dirty Dancing AU and the whole Daredevil Thiam (+Morey) AU is also one of my favorites cause it’s so aesthetical. I mean in the end I nearly love them all cause I wouldn’t have posted them if not.

You’ve mentioned CaptainMintyFresh’s Airplanes a few times. What inspired the idea to make instagram posts for the guys’ journey? So far, which has been your favorite chapter to conceptualize? And why?

I don’t really know how it started but I was editing my other ones and Tagan kept mentioning certain pic scenarios. (I think it was around the waterpark chapter.) I was just like: ”She’s giving so many good patterns why don’t you try to make Insta profiles to the chapters.” It was one of my best decisions cause I loved it, even if it was a pain in the ass! I finally managed to catch up and since then I feel so empty…sounds strange but my past few months were spend with Thiam and Airplanes and suddenly, I’m free. I was looking forward to editing other things again and I did but on the other side, I feel lost and don’t even know what to edit or I’m not in the mood. I have an Airplanes hangover or something. :’D

My favorite to conceptualize were probably the Disney chapters (it used to be the lake chapter but since editing Disney, I like that more) but every chapter was fun in it’s own way. (I’m planning on doing a commenting on the airplanes edits after Airplanes is finished).

I also think you can see how my skills improved while editing when you look at the first chapter edits and the last ones. That’s maybe the thing I’m most grateful about; it gave me the chance to experiment and grow along with the Fic and the characters.

Aww, that’s quite poetic. And, now we have Chapter 39 out, so you must feel the inkliest bit complete!

And, now I can feel the inkiest bit better about the next question to come.

CHALLENGE TIME! If you seen how BTS works, you know we love giving you the Time to Shine! For your first challenge, you can bring any of your insta posts to life in the TW Universe. Which would you choose? Set the scene for how that pic was taken.

I mean I would say the airplane series but it’s not my story so I’m gonna go with one of my single edits.

Then I would say the Parent AU cause I’m a bitch for parent Thiam. I’m gonna go with the pic of the crying baby with the title ‘Great. My son has my husband’s attitude’.

Liam sends Theo to the store with Leo after a discussion so he has some peace and can clean the house without interruptions. Leo won’t stop crying on top of his lungs in the middle of the store and Theo sighs while resting his forehead on the shopping cart (I hope that’s what it’s called).Then, he looks up again and gets his phone out to snap a picture and post it to show everyone that not only Liam is a whining little shit torturing him but now also his son. He laughs at himself for the joke which makes Leo stop crying and laugh with him instead. Theo takes that as an encouragement for his joke and carries him on his arm for the rest of the shopping trip, When they return home, he’s greeted by Liam who’s trying to look pissed but fails and just smirks at him and giving him a slight slap on the arm.

Hahahaha, yes! Dig it. And yes, it’s totally called a shopping cart (at least in my state). One final challenge before we wrap up? Since your images are always so unique to the theme, which pictures/ types of pictures would you use for these one word/phrase prompts:

Celebrity

Stuck at the Airport

Blind Date Gone Wild

Do you just want one pic or a collage of some good pics I would use? BUT I would love to do the whole edit. :’D

Heck yeah, we’d love a whole edit!!

FINALLY, done! Amen.

Wow!! I’m stunned. Over 80 pictures. 6 Days. 3 WHOLE POSTS!?! Plus Comment Posts! Honestly, how do you do it? Everyone, definitely go check these out; their linked with their respective challenges below!

[ Celebrity | Stuck at the Airport | Blind Date Gone Wild ]

While we all marvel at that, can we expect any other Thiam instagram themes from you in the future?

Of course. I have an Thiam folder with 357 a folder for the upcoming Mockingjay AU with 37 and my airplanes folder with still 194 pics. Somehow and someday I’m gonna use them all. Planned is to finish the Hunger Games series, cause I still need to do Mockingjay and I also have so many good parenting pics left so there’s definitely going to be another parent Thiam AU and some random ones.

It depends on my mood and requests I get or if I’m suddenly inspired by a pic to edit a specific theme. I also want to make more of Thiam x other fandoms, like Maze Runner, Divergent and so on but I also want to edit for so many other fandoms and ships. Why is there so less time in my mortal life?

Who knows? If only time stopped during the Fandom spurts of our lives, then we could enjoy it as long as we wanted to. Aww, I’m sad to see us come to an end. Marie, what’s next for you?

Finish my apprenticeship in 2020 and have a job after that + moving out. The next thing I’m saving money on right now is my own car till august (I also want my first own TV and playstation and need a new laptop any maybe smartphone :’D). Other fix dates this year are german comic con in december or turning 20 on 27th June.

Of course, I’m gonna drown myself in more fandoms and editing (I mean I’ve already watched 7 new series in 2018).

Oooh, which new shows? (I know I said we were ending lol, but shows are my drug!)

I finally got myself netflix since streaming became officially illegal (it wasn’t actually legal or illegal before but they couldn’t do anything to you and it was safe) here last year and I used it to watch all the marvel netflix productions like Jessica Jones, Iron Fist, Daredevil, The Defenders, Luke Cage (which I haven’t finished cause Netflix won’t let me, every 30 seconds it crashes) and The Punisher. Jessica Jones and Daredevil are my favorites out of them. Then, I also watched How To Get Away With Murder….IT’S MY FUCKING NEW RELIGION! Coliver is giving me more than life. They’re goals.

(In case anyone is interested in what I’m watching and stuff here’s my TV TIME name: MarieRo)

OMG, Ok, Ok, let me end this before I start a rampage about all things Marvel. Thanks so much for hanging with us at the Thiam Lib and letting us get to know you! Is there anything else you’d like to add, including any life/creating wisdom? Write until your heart’s content.

There are SO MANY intelligent things to say, but I’ll go with: Don’t give a shit about what other people think but always be open for other people’s opinions and teachings BUT don’t believe anything blindly. Just survive somehow tbh.

I have some other blogs on tumblr: @marierosaurus (random shit I like, sexual or funny af, just everything) @music-is-all-i-need-in-life (my music fandoms) @edsheeranfanblog (as you can maybe tell….a blog for Ed Sheeran?) @youtube-fan-live (blog for mostly german youtube)

(Instagram (about my traveling and just random private instagram shit): marierosarius)

I also want to thank you Minna for doing all this (bts is such a cool idea and keeping us inspired with the movie fest and stuff has to be so much work!) and especially for inviting me in the Thiam Discord pack chat 4 or 5 month ago. It’s been a wild ride and I maybe would’ve never known about that chat without you.

I love that chat and how we spend the christmas holidays together and thiam got so much more intense and it’s not even only about thiam anymore we also exchange about many other fandoms and we cried so many smut tears together (I mean that nsfw chat is on fire and I remember voice chat talks between in that christmas holidays we will burn in hell for and I love it :’D) and also fluff and angst tears but mostly smut tbh.

Just thanks for everything the Thiam community gave me, I said earlier that thiam gave me ‘tumblr fame’ and that sound stupid but it did, cause I edited before and nobody gave a single shit and reblogged or liked anything. Thiam was the best thing that could happen to me, even if I mostly edit for myself cause I like it and it’s fun, I can’t deny that it motivates you and makes you happy when other appreciate your work. Even not Teen Wolf or Thiam related posts / reblogs are noticed and it makes me so happy. Ok, sorry for bothering you with all my stupid talking. All I have left to say is: Meow

Awww, thanks so much for the love! Hahaha, our first Discord chat feels like so long ago now lol. And I also wouldn’t be here without my other Thiam Library Mods, esp Tiffany, Esme, Lizzie, Euthoxia, and Vis. They keep me inspired and grounded when life gets crazy. Just as you all, the Thiam Fandom, keep us inspired with your interactions and massive talent. We love you all!

With that, Behind the Screens presents Marie to you! If you want even more, you can read her questions that didn’t make it into the official interview here! Of course, the conversation doesn’t stop here. Not only can you chat with her on her 4 other blogs AND TV TIME, you can find her at these places too:

Main Tumblr: fandomtrashwhore

Inbox/Ask: fandomtrashwhore ask

Wattpad: Marierosarius

Instagram: marierosarius

Snapchat: marierosarius

Twitter: MarieRosarius

She’s also accepting prompts and the like, so hit her up!

We’d like to thank Marie for entertaining our many questions and challenges!! We have tons more BTS coming in the next few weeks, so stay on the look out for those <3

Have a Thiam Creator you fan over? Send us their names. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.

#thiam #teen wolf #officialthiamlibrary #fandomtrashwhore #mod: minna

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ephemeralem0tions · 7 years

Note

How about Levi and Hanji getting each other's names for secret santa???? and i can see either Erwin or Mike (or both) rigging it so haha ;)

sorry it took long! I worked on Fearless and Stow Away before I started working on prompts again. I hope you like what I did for your request despite it looking a bit too cliche and having to much jokes about crap lol :P

send in a request here if any body want more short fics!

His Happiness (LeviHan - Christmas AU)

Theme: Exchange Gift

Rating: PG

Warnings: curse words, loads of shit jokes, and a reminiscent of the iconic LeviHan scene; pulling hair and dragging momma closer while on a horse

Four presses and eight ‘dings’ later, he was still standing in front of a huge porch, is left foot tapping impatiently with a steady beat. It them who persuaded him to come to the party, and yet, no one seemed to attend to him when he actually went.

Everyone knew he would rather get stuck in his house, drinking tea a day before Christmas and his Birthday, but he actually made effort this year and came to one of Erwin’s big celebrations. He was starting to rethink why he even bothered to go when he was going to be locked out for the rest of the night. It was also damn freezing outside, the wind becoming stronger by nightfall, although the snow had not fallen yet. He hugged his coat tighter to himself and pressed the button thrice, praying someone will actually answer him in two minutes, or else he’s be damn out of the driveway soon.

“Oh hey Levi! Why are you outside?” She greeted him as soon as she stepped unto the wooden floor.

“Looking for Maple leaves” he 'tsked’

“Ah, but you won’t find some in London” she received a scowl from him.

“I know that”

“Then why are you locked out- oh! you can’t reach the door knob?” she laughed while he glared at her.

“I can read the damn door fine shitty glasses. No one is opening the door, its locked, maybe they are all trying to take a shit and it just won’t come out so they can’t come out” he groaned.

“Well if you were using the door bell, I doubt any one would answer. The music is always blaring loud at times like these. Let me take care of it” she cleared her throat and stepped forward. “Its Hanji and Levi open the door!” she banged on the door, making him wince at the loudness of both her voice, and the pounding.

Not even a second later, Mike had opened the door and sniffed the air before smirking.

“I see Levi had actually joined us today” he spoke.

“Nice to see you too Mike” Hanji smiled and went past him.

“Move, I’m freezing” he growled at the tall man, slightly pushing him to the side.

Holiday music had greeted his ears once he came in. The place warm with heater, and everyone around him sporting a smile on their faces, along with horribly designed sweaters. He seemed out of place, looking the most decent in his opinion, the only one that did not wear and ugly sweater.

“Levi” Erwin greeted him, laughing at the sight of his cringing face. If there was an award for the shittiest, most ridiculous sweater in the crowd, he’d give to Erwin. It was a picture of a sloth wearing a Christmas hat, only that it seemed the clothing was actually made as per instructions to have thick ass eyebrows like his friend.

“Your sweater is horrible” he bluntly said.

“Thank you” Erwin replied, still laughing. “Yours look, kind of normal”

“I’d rather not wear a shitty sweater thank you” he hissed.

“I see you actually bought a gift” Erwin commended, eyeing at the yellow box in his hand.

“I wouldn’t have if you did not ask me to”

“Its a part of the fun Levi! Everyone has someone to give to, and something to receive” he scowled at the man beside him.

“I doubt mine was actually fair” he rolled his eyes.

“My, what would make you say that?” Erwin laughed once more. “I’d have to refill the eggnog, enjoy the party for now Levi”. He definitely knew the man had something up his sleeves, he had the feeling ever since they did draw lots, and it seemed like the sniffing man had also been involved.

“Levi! Come here for a second” He whipped his head to the Director’s office and groaned, standing up from his roller chair.

As much as he hated paper work, he needed to at least have capital before he could start his own cafe. Being able to only study up to high school, he was already lucky to be an editor at the news paper company he had been working on for almost a year. He would not have the opportunity of working here if Erwin wasn’t the current director, but he was thankful that he had actually been friends with the 'eyebrows’ back then.

“What?” He huffed, closing the glass door behind him, Mike and Hanji following close behind a few second later.

“You two pick for the boxes” Erwin handed him a pink box while Mike gave Hanji a blue one. Both men had sinister smiles upon their faces, he clearly knew something was wrong.

“What is this?” Hanji asked first.

“Just some draw lots” Mike responded.

“For what?” He asked.

“Pick first before I tell you” Erwin commanded, voice faked to be stern. He groaned and put his hand in the box, feeling the tiny strips of paper before grabbing one. “Buy a gift for the person you picked and come to the Christmas Party this weekend, no questions”

He unrolled the paper and stared at it wide eyed. Hanji’s name flashed before him in bold and print letters.

“Oi! Erwin!” he growled at his superior.

“No other words Levi! You can now resume with what you are doing” the man laughed as Mike escorted him out the office with a smirk. He frowned at the behavior of the two, they set him up, that’s for sure.

The party had been boring like he thought it would be. He recognized some familiar faces from work, but they never bothered him nor did he want to bother them. He silently drank his spiked eggnog (care of Hanji) from a corner of the living room.

“So, you like the hint of rum I poured in there?” she skipped towards him, a glass of her own at hand.

“Not bad at all shitty glasses” he replied, taking another sip.

“I know Erwin and Mike rigged the exchange gift” he turned to her and looked at her straight in the eyes. “You don’t have to give me a gift if you don’t want to. Don’t force yourself” she smiled. “I was really going to give you a gift anyway, but you don’t have to give me one”

“Shut up” he hissed. “I wanted to give you a damn gift four eyes” he didn’t even know where he got his words from. He was worried for her, the moment he saw sadness in her doe eyes which was much more expressive than her whole face. He always noticed her stress, fear and worry on her eyes despite her bright smiles and laughter. He hated seeing her putting up a brave mask when her eyes told the opposite.

“Well thank you then” the light returned to her irises, making him sigh in relief. “Erwin said we could give each other our presents any time we want to. Of course they would want something to gossip about in the office, but he would rather much think about your comfort first”

“why don’t we go to the terrace, the damn boring atmosphere is making me lose my shit” he groaned.

“You better go up the bathroom then” she laughed.

“I won’t drop my shit in someone else’s house, where they crap without following my damn standards” he cringed, imagining a dirty yellowish toilet.

“I don’t think Erwin shits that much. His ass is way tighter than his budget and we all know that” her 'unique’ laughter echoed through the halls as they made their way up the stairs. For others, she sounded like a witch, for him, she sounded like damn angels ringing some bells on Christmas evening.

He opened, the door, wind blowing through his face. He should have gotten his damn coat and hers before going up, it started snowing before he even knew it. “I think we should go-” he was cut off before he could even suggest to go back in and not freeze to death.

“This is wonderful!” she ran past him, holding out her bare hands to catch some snow.

“Oi shitty glasses! You’ll get sick” he snorted.

“Just get the boxes and open them will you” she pointed from behind him.

He furrowed his eyebrows at the sight of the presents. There were two that sat by the glass doors, one having plain blue wrapping paper, and one having bright green and red stripes. He crouched down and read the tags. Despite her messy handwriting, it was clear to him that both gifts were his.

“Why two?” he asked, lifting the blue one.

“Open the other one first!” she stopped him. “That one’s for your birthday” she pointed at the box he currently held.

He picked up the other box and slowly peeled the tape of the wrapper. He heard a small groan from her as her hand reached out to hold his.

“Stop being such a small clean freak right now and tear the gift, I’m excited to see your reaction” she scolded him, patience diminishing at his manner of opening presents.

“I do my damn thing four eyes” he retorted, proceeding to carefully remove the wrapping paper while she just stared at him groaning.

He lifted the top of the box once all paper were folded beside him. Small jar lids greeted him and he started taking them out one by one, eyes seeming a bit wider in surprise.

“They are different kinds of tea leaves, the ones that have the best effects for relaxation and aroma. I didn’t know which one was your favorite so I bought eight ounces of each” she explained. His mouth still hung agape, not able to know what he would say to her. “Don’t speak yet!” she stopped him holding her hands out. “Open the other one first”.

Just like the first one, he opened the blue gift with care, avoiding to tear the paper, and folding it exactly four times before setting it aside. He slowly opened the lid, deeming that the next present was heavier than the other. A clear Pyrex glass tea brewer, the latest one, and cost more than a hundred bucks, laid at the middle, surrounded by comical pink styrofoam peanuts.

He held the pot with care, looking at every inch of it as if he was judging it.

“You don’t like it?” she asked, sadness returning to her eyes.

“You damn four eyes” was all he can say after hitting her softly at the nape in a joking manner.

“I noticed how you hated instant tea and had to go through the pain of brewing and straining, partly complaining when the tea gets cold easily, so I bought you this. Now you don’t have to scald yourself transferring from pot to pot” she rubbed the spot where his palm hit a few moments ago.

“I’m not good with words, but this isn’t bad at all” he whispered, still caressing his new items in his arms.

“The best compliment I can get from you” she chuckled lightly. “Can I open my gift next?” she pouted.

He stood up and grabbed her present that he set down on the balcony. She eagerly snatched it from his arms even if he was still a good distance away from her. He smiled at the way her eyes lit up like a child, overly excited with the gift he gave her. He was nearly embarrassed of how small and meaningless his gift was to her. It was almost like an insult even, but he was never good with things like these. He just hoped that she would understand, and smile, be truly happy and not just fake it.

“I love it!” he snapped out of his thoughts and searched for any hint of lying from her eyes. He found none, he knew she was genuinely happy, and it was enough to make it the best Christmas and Birthday ever. “How did you know I love the smell of vanilla?” she asked.

“You rarely took a bath by yourself, but I noticed it every time you did” he huffed. He bought her a scented candle set, because she stinks, but he didn’t know that’s she’d be very grateful with his choice of fragrance.

“I really love it! Thank you Levi!” she stood up and pulled him in for a hug.

He stiffened out of her sudden touch, yet the warmth created by their contact inviting him to give him. His mind told him to resist, but his heart felt right for the moment. Before he even knew it, his hands were behind her back, and he was returning the gesture. Their difference in height made him look up to her where he saw the genuine happiness he always wanted to see from her. Snow fell down from above them, creating a powdery effect on her hair, shoulders, and ridiculous bird nose.

He took notice of the green spec above them accompanied by three smaller red dots. It was without a doubt a mistletoe. He didn’t see that before and thought hard to remember but instead, he thought of a crazy idea.

“Oi four eyes, it is unfair that I only gave you one gift”

“But I told you, it was my choice to give you the presents” she replied.

“And its my choice to give you more too” his gaze upon her becoming more serious.

“Really?! Where?!” her head turned frantically, searching for a second box.

“Right here” he growled, pulling her hair so she could face him.

He was dangerously close to her, his heart pounding faster. Tier one, she noticed his stare and looked into his eyes, he pulled her closer. Tier two, he stared at his lips, he closed the gap between them. Tier three, she closed her eyes, he finally made the decision, closing his eyes slowly and directing his hand towards her nape, where he knew he could pull her much gentle.

The cold snow felt nothing as his body erupted into a million fireworks. Despite the difficulty of having to tip toe in order to reach her, he savored the moments and went with the gentle caress of her soft lips. She leaned forward, making him more comfortable with his stance, as she snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer as well.

It wasn’t anything rough, just a soft gentle kiss, a reminder of how much he cared for her, and how much she cared for him. He didn’t want it to end, but they had to breathe in some point. Her eyes still remained locked with his even as they pulled away. They stared it him, with a new emotion he didn’t quite get. The sparkle indicated much more than happiness, but what was it?

A flash ruined their moment. He closed his eyes and winced as she groaned in the sudden eruption of light. He scowled, Erwin must be shitting him again.

“Damn you Mike! You forgot to turn off the flash!” Nanaba hissed from behind a plant inside the house.

“Oi! We know you are there” he growled, inching closer to where they hid.

“Don’t take it all on them Levi” Erwin appeared from the side, an amused look plastered across his face. “Remember how I told you before that if you start to doubt yourself, you will end up regretting your decision?” he asked Levi, but he only returned a frown to him. “I definitely won’t regret asking for Mike’s help to rig the exchange gift” he laughed.

#Levihan #LevixHanji #Levi #Ackerman #Hanji #Zoe #Hange #Christmas #Exchange Gift #AU #Fanfiction #prompt #REQUEST #snk #aot #I SERIOUSLY NEED TO BE FASTER IN WRITING #SORRY FOR THE WAIT I LOVE YOU YOU AMAZING BEING ;)

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