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princesscolumbia · 8 months

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Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

#captain r'el #dal r'el #captain janeway #captain picard #captain sisko #captain kirk #captain pike #captain archer #captain georgiou #captain burnham #captain freeman #Star Trek Captains - Review and Category

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c0ck4ndb411t0rtur3 · 3 months

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Captain Philippa Georgiou

#star trek #star trek discovery #captain georgiou #empress georgiou #michelle yeoh

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isagrimorie · 4 months

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Is it weird to mourn for a character we’ve only seen, at most less than an episode?

I’ve come to love Emperor Georgiou but it feels so tragic and cruel that we got to know Captain Georgiou and we lost her soon after.

She embodied so much of startfleet and then she was gone too soon.

#michelle yeoh #star trek #philippa georgiou #captain georgiou

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my-gaydar-is-on-point · 8 months

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(fake) marriage for @startrekfemslashweek

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best-star-trek-character · 1 year

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Round Two

#best disc character competition #joann owosekun #owosekun #lieutenant commander Joann owosekun #philippa georgiou #Captain Philippa georgiou #captain georgiou #st #disc #disco #best star trek character competition

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mlmcaptainpike · 2 years

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while “weird guy who is actually from the mirror universe and snuck here for some diabolical hijinks” is a viable Star Trek character concept it also was a terrible explanation for lorca’s actions. lorca shouldn’t be an inherently evil guy. lorca should be a cautionary tale. this is how rampant violence breeds rampant violence. this is how the most well meaning people can do the most vile things. this how compromising your morals once makes it that much harder to stand by them ever again. this is how being so dedicated to a singular ideal can become an excuse for hurting anyone. choosing to make lorca some random twist villain robs discovery of its thematic integrity and robs michael of the resolution to her conflict with georgiou in the second episode (she would realize that unfettered consequentialism is a plague and in some cases you shouldn’t do something because it’s the wrong thing to do). oh my god it’s been three seasons and I’m still furious about this.

#star trek #dsc #gabriel lorca #captain lorca #michael burnham #captain burnham #philippa georgiou #captain georgiou #BITES THE DISCOVERY WRITERS REALLY HARD #Lorca must inherently give a shit about the war because why do we care if he’s just fucking around and finding out #broke: lorca was just fucking around and finding out #woke: lorca really did used to be a good guy but found that the war gave him an excuse to be vile so he became vile #and it just ties into my gripes about how badly s2 handled its ‘intelligence agencies bad’ plot #for a STAR TREK SHOW about WAR it certainly could have interrogated the ethics of war (and foreign policy in s2)#what I wanted: show that loudly condemns war and violence while speaking to the evils of militarism nationalism and imperialism #what I got: haha discovery go pew pew #and I still hate it :( we really could have had it all #bran thinks n stuff #emersen thinks n stuff

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s-trip-tease · 1 year

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New Poll!! Since there was confusion due to my lack of Englishing...

#alright round two babes #star trek captains #which star trek captain do you think you could beat in hand-to-hand combat #captain picard #captain kirk #captain janeway #captain lorca #captain georgiou #captain sisko #captain archer #captain burnham

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raurquiz · 7 months

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#otd #startrekdiscovery #thevulcanhello #battleofthebinarystars #burham #captaingeorgiou #tkuvma #CaptainLorca #startrek57 @startrek @startrekonpplus

#otd #star trek discovery #thevulcanhello #battleofthebinarystars #burham #captain georgiou #tkuvma #captain lorca #startrek57

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startrekwintergiftexchange · 1 year

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The 2023 Star Trek Winter Gift Exchange is here!

Q: What is the Star Trek Winter Gift Exchange?

A: This is an anonymous fanworks exchange for any fandom within the Star Trek universe, from The Original Series to Strange New Worlds!

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Q: How does it work?

A: When you sign up, you’ll make three requests. Once sign ups close, the mod will send you the url of the person you’ll make a fanwork for and their requests. You’ll have the month of January to fill one of the requests. Make sure your ask box is open so I or your Secret Santa can contact you!

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Q: Do I have to make fanart/fanfic for the exchange?

A: Nope! All types of fanworks are welcome :) Fics, art, edits, moodboards, podfics, among other things! As long as you’re creating it, it’s welcome.

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Q: What are the important dates I should know?

A: December 29, 11:59 pm EST: signups close

January 1-3: I’ll let you know who your recipient is

January 21-31: Post your gifts! Details here.

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Q: Sounds awesome! How do I sign up?

A: Fill out this form!

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Q: What if I only want to be a pinch hitter?

A: If you ONLY want to be a pinch hitter, fill out this form!

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If you have other questions, check the about or send an ask. And don’t forget to spread the word! LLAP <3

#philippa georgiou #michael x philippa #captain georgiou #keyla detmer #culmets #jola #joyla #milippa #milly #mylvia #nhangiou #katgabe #ashburn #lorcham

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thevagabondtrek · 2 years

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Alright, I know I’m late to the party, but hear me out - what about an au where, first and foremost, Prime!Georgiou didn’t die because she was awesome and deserved better, and actually got to continue to mentor Michael and continued to build a rich and beautiful friendship. Michael made a mistake, which is understandable, and was busted down in rank but not called a traitor and was able to continue under Georgiou as Captain.

Then, second of all, have it that Prime!Lorca was BFFs with Georgiou and Pike bc they all went to the academy together, and as soon as Mirror!Lorca showed up, both Georgiou and Pike went “Uh no, this isn’t Gabriel Lorca” and instead locked Mirror!Lorca up and mounted a rescue mission to the mirror verse with the Discovery and the Enterprise to save their best friend?

Like why can’t we have this healthy model of loyalty and positive human emotions to let Michael start her journey to greatness? She sees how vastly different Pike, Georgiou and Lorca are with their personalities, but how they’ve all achieved greatness in their own way and all value each other - and then she realizes that Tilly’s enthusiasm has its own illogical value and that she should broaden her horizon and risk things as well?

Don’t get me wrong, the edgy antiheroes from the mirrorverse are fun sometimes, but I’d like some positive role models and painful but gradual growth. I want Prime!Georgiou. I want her to be three dimensional and bad ass with her own motley group that she went through fire with that the rest of the Discovery gets to meet and learn from and from that find their path to greatness.

Or heck, maybe its the prequel, the Shenzhou is Georgiou’s ship, she and Pike with the Enterprise go over and rescue Prime!Lorca and after that experience, Michael learns what she needs to to trust herself and jump out of the nest. And just right out of the gate is made captain of the Discovery when it’s commissioned and put in charge of the crew and slowly becomes best friends with Tilly even though she’s a cadet because she’s learned friendship doesn’t care about rank or even dimensions. I don’t know I have a lot of thoughts about the possibilities of this that I’m sure no one cares about, but still.

Where’s this au? Can someone write this? Pretty please?

#star trek #star trek discovery #philippa georgiou #captain georgiou #chris pike #captain pike #michael burnham #gabriel lorca #prime lorca #mirror lorca #prime georgiou #i want this story #star trek strange new worlds #ensign tilly #cadet tilly #silvia tilly #prime gabriel lorca #prime philippa georgiou #my thoughts

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saritaurez · 1 year

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I JUST REALIZED.

IS MICHELLE YEOH THE FIRST STAR TREK CAPTAIN TO EARN AN OSCAR

#academy awards #Michelle yeoh #eeaao #Star Trek discovery #captain georgiou

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lonely-night · 10 months

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“I failed... to save Kath- Captain Janeway. Let me save you. Please.”

A future!Seven tried to time travel back when Voyager was lost in the Delta Quadrant but ended up on USS Shenzhou and met Captain Philippa Georgiou.

#ok idk how to tag sjkdfgksdfhk #voyagereditmine #voyageredit #myeohedit #trekfemslashedit #seven of nine #captain philippa georgiou #georgiou x seven #basically this is seven saying fuck the prime directive lol #her first attempt to time travel end up on shenzhou #she saved georgiou at the end but the outcome of janeway's dead didn't change #so she made a second attempt to go back in time #and she succeed (aka alternate Endgame where it was commander seven did the time travel instead of admiral janeway)#or OR I could always combine this seven/georgiou hc with the both future seven & janeway time travel back on voyager in Endgame

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viharistenno · 3 months

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Sassy authoritative women compel me.

#feel free to add more #Regina Mills #Captain Kathryn Janeway #Xena #Helena G Wells #Emperor Philippa Georgiou #Lena Luthor #THANKING THE GODS FOR ALL THE GAY GIFMAKERS

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lilolilyr · 8 months

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Motel Rooms and Misunderstandings

For the day one prompt of the @startrekfemslashweek: only one bed! 1.4k words, G, no warnings

Summary: Modern AU. Michael is feeling down about her not-relationship with her boss, Philippa Georgiou, and her own lack of plans for her vacation days. To get away from it all, she throws some clothes into her backpack and starts driving without a destination in mind: anywhere that isn't home sounds just about right. When she stops at a motel for the night, she's surprised to see a familiar face...