Heather's Casino Royale 27th Birthday Gala... S E T L I S T
click here for setlist
Skyfall — Adele || Bloody Mary — Lady Gaga || Fashion! — Lady Gaga || Mr. Brightside — The Killers || Just Dance — Lady Gaga || Paparazzi — Lady Gaga || Applause — Lady Gaga || Rumour Has It — Adele || Radio — Lana Del Ray || Human — The Killers || Judas — Lady Gaga || Donatella — Lada Gaga || LoveGame — Lady Gaga || Oh My God — Adele || Young and Beautiful — Lana Del Ray || Doin' Time — Lana Del Ray || When We Were Young — Adele || Believe Me, Natalie — The Killers || Somebody Told Me — The Killers || When You Were Young — The Killers || Beautiful, Dirty, Rich — Lady Gaga
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ETHAN WOOD || city moodboard → london ←
No surprises here, but Ethan embodies his home city of good ol' London town. To me, London is bustling and lively even a touch gritty in some parts just like Ethan. It's a place where old meets new, and Ethan comes from football royalty and tradition, but he's rough around the edges now forging a new path for himself. that said, I'd say Ethan's more the pub culture, nightlife, and football side of the city. He's all overflowing pints on tap, too strong gin & tonics, football chants, teamwork, and that damn Londoner pride of his.
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Life's Greatest Gamble
25 Mars 2021
Det är positivt…
Agnes looked down at the two blue lines, clear as day. There was no misreading this test. Or the one with the two blue lines she'd taken earlier that day. Or the other one with the two blue lines she'd taken before that. Three positive home tests... She knew the likelihood of getting three false positive results was minuscule. She knew that meant only one thing:
She was pregnant.
Sat with her back against the shower/bath combo and knees drawn up to her chest, the brunette was left utterly speechless by what had just been confirmed. She'd had some suspicions for several days now, which is what ultimately led her to purchase the box of tests from the local apothecary. After all, breast tenderness and recurrent bouts of nausea were typically indicative of only one thing: pregnancy. And since it had only been several weeks since she attended a party with some of her friends from Lund University and got drunk enough for her ace spectrum self to actually desire having sex...
Japp. She was pregnant.
There wasn't a doubt in her mind what she was going to do about this pregnancy, about this little life just beginning to grow inside her womb. This child was hers; and she already loved them more than she thought it was possible to love anything. Straightening out her legs, she placed a hand on the small of her stomach, knowing it would only be several more weeks before it began to swell with signs of life. And she made a promise. She made a promise to herself and to her unborn child that she would be the best mamma—even if she had no clue how to be even a mediocre mamma. After all, her own mother hadn't wanted children. The woman had abandoned her and her brother when they were small. She had no woman in her life to look up to in terms of entering motherhood. Yes, she had her pappa and the undying love and support he'd shown his children over the years; but it wasn't the same.
There were so many unknowns to accepting and following through with this unplanned pregnancy, with carrying to term and planning to keep and raise the baby as her own. But despite each and every unknown, her certainty that it was all worth the risk was stronger.
~
The rest of that day was a blur to Agnes. She was still trying to fully wrap her mind around what she'd just learned despite having already made a decision regarding how she was going to proceed. It wasn't until almost a full 24 hours later that she picked up her phone and FaceTimed her pappa.
"Hej pappa..."
"Hej älskling. Är allt okej?"
It was as if Göran could tell just by looking at his eldest's face through the phone screen that this wasn't just a normal call; and because of this the brunette decided to dive right in to the reason behind her call. She asked her pappa if he could take the train from Falun down to Lund for the weekend. It was a 7hr train ride; but she had something she wanted to discuss with him in person. This news she had to share was not something to be shared over the phone. He agreed and said he'd clear his schedule. He then asked what was so important that she couldn't share over the phone and made a joke asking if she was pregnant or something. He honestly hadn't expected that to be the case. The change in his daughter's expression told him everything he needed to know; and after taking a moment to step away to somewhere where they could chat in privacy, he began to tell her he'd catch the first train down to Lund and they would discuss things further. But before they ended their video chat, he did have one important thing to tell her:
"Oavsett vad du bestämmer dig för att du vill göra åt graviditeten kommer jag att stödja dig fullt ut."
From there, Göran let his daughter know he wouldn't hesitate to take her to the clinic for an abortion if that's what she so desired. But before he could finish his thought, Agnes cut him off. She shared how she'd already made her decision the instant she saw the two blue lines. She was keeping the baby. This child was hers; and she loved them with her whole heart, with every fiber of her being. An abortion was not an option for her. It wasn't an idea she entertained for even a fleeting thought. And just like he'd promised, Göran supported this decision. He fully accepted the fact he was about to become a morfar.
Like he'd promised, Göran took the train from Falun down to Lund that weekend. He brought his daughter to the clinic for the sole reason of having the pregnancy confirmed by the doctor. And when it was confirmed that Agnes was, in fact, pregnant, he cried tears of joy and uncertainty with his daughter.
"Du kommer att bli en fantastisk mamma."
"Hur vet du?"
More than joy in that moment, there was a spiraling of uncertainty. How could her pappa know she was going to be a fantastic mamma? How could she be a fantastic mamma when she had no mamma of her own to look up to? Agnes began to question whether or not she could actually do this. She already knew she was going through with the pregnancy; there was not a doubt in her mind about that. But that uncertainty began creeping its way to the forefront of her mind regardless. Was she making the right decision? Would the child be better off being adopted by someone else, by someone who knew how to care for a baby and was ready to do so?
A child had not been in the plans for Agnes. She hadn't given much thought, if any, to becoming a mamma someday. Her plans were to graduate from Lund University with her B.S. in both forensic science and forensic psychology and then begin attending the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm the following year where she planned to get her Masters in forensic toxicology. And from there, she planned to get a job hopefully back in her beloved Dalarna. And if not Dalarna, elsewhere in Sweden. Nowhere in her plans was there room for a child.
Yet here she was, less than nine months away from meeting the little life now growing inside her...
~
"Vad heter han?"
"Gunnar... Han heter Gunnar Emil."
The instant her son was first placed on her chest for skin to skin and she watched the marvel that was the newborn's instinctive breast crawl as he found his way to latch for the very first time, Agnes knew beyond any and all doubt that she'd made the right decision. This child, this baby boy, was her everything.
~
The greatest gamble Agnes ever took in life was the commitment to bring her son into this world; and it was, by far, also her greatest win.
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