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#can you tell i love stede with my whole fucking heart?

whatafuckerybro · 6 months

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One my favorite things about this episode was Stede Fucking Bonnet.

He went back, technically, in his character arc. He went from being The Gentleman Pirate, Ned's killer, the toast of the town, to... Stede. Our Stede. The one who is already adequate. The one that is enough. A bit cringe, seeking words of affirmation. He is not the best fighter, but he will put himself in danger to help the woman who just humiliated him. He is going to be in charge of the outfits and come up with cool names. He is the glue, the captain that doesn't treat you like an employee and tells you you have a lovely name.

That's Stede Bonnet. He is silly and bad at many things, but he brings the pirates together, he is brave, he is kind, even while being a bit of a cunt. He went back to being himself but better, he learned. Now, he is not afraid to kill but would rather talk. He knows Ed loves him, that "the house" is messed up but has good bones, a good foundation.

He is not over everything, but he's much more stable in his own identity. I'm so glad we got to see him again.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #stede bonnet #can you tell i love stede with my whole fucking heart?#also the relationship is definitely not stable at the moment they need to work a lot #but i think that's what they tried to tell us with the whole fixing the house thing #it needs time and work and love #but it's important that they both know they love each other now #im rambling #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers

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saltpepperbeard · 6 months

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Poison into Positivity: A List of What I Liked in OFMD S2

Hello hello everyone! Things have been a little rough around here. Even away from the more heated takes, I've still seen a few "down in the dumps" murmurs. To which, I'm giving y'all big hugs, but also offering up some little bits of warmth! I wanted to share quite a few bullets of the things I enjoyed about this season. Maybe it'll serve as a reminder, or maybe it'll just serve as a chaotic, silly little read as per usual PFFF.

But I invite you to read along, and even add some of your own points should you feel inclined! Also, this might not even be my full list; these are just the ones that came to me quickly/off the top of my head. Still, let's dive on down like a fantastical, dazzling goldfish, shall we?

All the callbacks/parallels. My goodness. When I tell you I'm a SLUT for metaphors/parallels/callbacks/etc etc. Seeing so many things and being able to just *Leonardo Dicaprio pointing meme.* I know people might not share that same opinion because some might view it to be excessive, but I personally LOVED being able to point at my screen and be like "oH EYYYYYYY!!!" Maybe because it makes for such immaculate gifset/meta material <3 SJKJDLHSK

The costuming and makeup. WHEN THEY TALKED AT ECCC ABOUT EVERYONE GETTING HOTTER, THEY WERE NOT KIDDING LMAO. EVERYONE LOOKED SO, SO GOOD. and listen, i am on my knees begging for them to give ed with his hair up back to us. i need Her back,,,ALSO, SOMETHING SOMETHING COMPLICATED EMOTIONS TOWARDS STEDE'S LATTER HALF LOOK, BUT ALSO...GOD DAMN, MR. DARBY,,,,,,

Speaking of Mr. Darby, the acting in this season. The ACTTTINNNGG. Everyone acted their ASSES off. Everyone put their entire piratussies into this season. Though, I'm PARTICULARLY impressed with Taika and Rhys, because again with their "oh we're comedians lol so idk drama can be Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult." MMMM I THINK THE FUCK NOT, MY GUYS LMAO??? They both did SO well with all the drama and painful moments. The acting in episodes 2, 3, 6, and 7 in particular like...God. GOD!!!

I loved so many characters in this season, and I'll of course have to give two individual shoutouts to my two favorite new ladies, but man. LET'S GO FRENCHIE!!! ALWAYS A DELIGHT!!! FANG/KEVIN MY ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART. JIM SERVING ABSOLUTE FUCKING GENDER THIS SEASON. OLU OLU DARLING OLU. PETE NEVER MISSING WITH HIS ONELINERS. LUCIUS BEING SO THEATRICAL AHDJKSDK LIKE NATHAN PLEASE YOU KILL ME. ROACH MAKING ME LAUGH OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES AS HE DOES. WEE JOHN AND HIS KNITTING AND DRAG!!! AND THEN OF COURSE MY DEARLY BELOVEDS, ED AND STEDE. I JUST LOVE THEMMMMM!!! But okay okay okay-

Zheng my beloved. I just love this badass pirate queen with her sweet little pigtails and her IMMACULATE LINE DELIVERIES SDHJKSKL. A lot of my favorite deliveries from the entire season came from her quite honestly. Please see: "Girl, how ARE you?" and "Hiiiiiii. I KNOWWW it's been a day" and "I've killed mediocre men. I've killed exceptional men. But you're the worst kind: a mediocre man who thinks he's exceptional."

AND ARCHIE MY BELOVED. She kills me because I remember seeing like, those ~*~audition tape whispers~*~ WAY back in the day, and subsequently thinking she was going to be quite a different character. Only for this silly goofy bubbly energetic darling to pop up and snag my heart. HER deliveries kill me also, like when she goes "Like...STEDE Stede?" and the whole "I was IN the fuckin' snake!" also hhngngngngnershkfhslkds tattooed ladies Hot :(

Speaking of which, the comedy. THE DELIVERIES. THE WAY I LAUGHED OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES THROUGHOUT, EVEN WITH THE DEEP UNDERCURRENT OF DRAMA/ANGST. The whole bit where Stede is in hysterics over his cursed coat is just hsjkdhsklds; it will NEVER not make me wheeze. And then, like I said, almost EVERYTHING Pete says this season kills me; another thing that will never not make me laugh is "a doggie...?" weird little pirate show with weird little humor my beloved

The ROMANCE??? I genuinely was going into the season with the expectation of getting maybe like, one or two Gentlebeard kisses. Imagine my shock and utter delight when we ended up with FOUR, AS WELL AS AN INTIMATE SCENE, THE LETTER SCENES, AND THE LOVE PROFESSIONS. Like, one of them dropping a legitimate "I love you" felt like an unrealistic expectation--the HIGHEST dream tier really. And then wouldn't you know it. And that doesn't even account for all the rest of the couples either! The murder wives having their chaotic little moments of fucked up affection??? LUCIUS AND PETE GETTING ENGAGED AND THEN MARRIED??? HELLO??????

The sets! I know people have pointed out that the world felt a bit simplified this time around, due to budget restraints and what have you. But I still loved what they did with the world even with the various constraints. The market in episode 6 is a PARTICULAR favorite of mine; it's just so lush and colorful. I also love what they did with The Revenge during episode 6 too!

Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I really actually liked that they filmed on location. First of all, love that the Kiwis got to be right at home in Aotearoa. Love that they have an even more special connection to the show now. But second of all, I just like when scenery is...actually THERE? It feels way more TANGIBLE. Don't get me wrong; that hugeass wraparound screen that they use to film a lot of sets is a technological marvel. But I'm a sucker for practical.

The deeper and more complex dives into character motivations/trauma. Like, homie lol...When I tell you episodes 6 and 7 utterly set my brain alight in the best way possible. I was CHUGGING through thoughts. You know those gifs where someone is walking around and ranting/passionately talking,,, yeah. Yeah. Maybe because a lot of it "struck a chord" with me indeed, but I love love LOVE getting brain food like that.

Speaking of brain food, in PARTICULAR, the deeper dives into Ed's self-loathing and into Stede's troubles with confidence and masculinity. A lot of Stede's choices were fueled by those two things, and it was SO friggin fun to catch all of them, put them in a jar, and shake them around. I've seen a lot of people fearing his actions in the latter half were out of character, but to me, I don't see it that way. I just see a man who has been so spurned, so left behind, and SO deprived, a man who is stuck thinking he has to be someone else to mean something. And I think that plays a lot into even the EARLIEST developments we saw in season 1, so it was just so intriguing to watch everything messily play out.

THE INNKEEPER. THE INNKEEPER MY BELOVED. SO much about that episode absolutely has my heart. All the different developments, the stakes, the pacing, and the payoff at the end. Not to mention that I had a FEELING that mysterious figure in the trailers was Hornigold, so it was so SO validating to see him pop up PFFF. And also, all those dream/gravy basket sequences were so so good too. I don't know if it's the chemistry between Taika and Mark, or the deeper symbolism, or the lines that have become vocal stims for me SJKDLS (please see: ooOOoooO eddie eddie eddie...you're laying some heavy shit on me, bro), but man. MAN.

And this one gets its own bullet because of course it does: the fucking mermaid scene. Like, are we kidding. ARE WE KIDDING. THE ROMANCE OF IT ALL? THE FANTASTICAL-NESS INDEED?? THE WAY IT WAS ALL FUCKING PRACTICAL AND RHYS SWAM DOWN TO TAIKA AS A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GOLDFISH AND THEY HAD TO THROW HEART EYES AT EACH OTHER UNDERWATER??? WHAT THE FUCK!!! And don't even get me started on Kate Bush lol. This Woman's Work might easily be one of my favorite songs, if not my FAVORITE song from the season. And man. Man. The whole meaning behind Ed seeing Stede as this beautiful, sparkly being, and not some hypermasculine/extraordinary thing. He fell in love with Stede for who Stede really is. And so I ADORE that acknowledgement.

Speaking of songs, the MUSIC!!! Absolute bangers all throughout. And I loved how there seemed to be even more intermixed within the episodes. Like God... "These are the kids..." 🗣️ HELLO MY LOVE I HEARD A KISS FROM YOU 🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟 . And all the beautiful classic piano pieces and NINA SIMONE AND JUST HSJKDHSFJKLHSKD????

Okay, I've always had and STILL have complicated thoughts and opinions on Izzy, but man, seeing him interact with the Revenge Crew was really something. Seeing Stede's influence come over the lot of them like a warm blanket, extending its welcoming and familial hands...It was just lovely. I love seeing our little sea family care for each other so much. They've probably all hurt so so much in different ways, so to see them all being a collective heart is just so nice.

Speaking of which, the queerness of it all, the queer celebration of it all. The way the whole crew is just...a representation of queer people finding each other, and subsequently finding love and family in each other. Like, when the whole world wants to cast you out, you pull each other in. When no one else wants you, you take refuge in each other. And just...the joy, beauty, and wonder that can be found in that.

And speaking of which x2, the overall care that was put into the entire thing, the effort that was put into the entire thing. I know Max fucked us over with the budget, which subsequently fucked things like the intricacy, the amount of characters, and especially the pacing. But, I don't know; I personally could still tell everyone involved was trying so so hard to deliver for us. Based on the little details, the little callbacks, and the little moments that felt so catered to us, it just seemed so...gifted to us. Not to mention of course, the way they so deliberately chose to end on a hopeful note in case we never get a third season. They care about us. They've always cherished our excitement and passion, so it just...idk; it feels so special to have a bit more of an intimate connection like that. I've never been involved with a piece of media that so avidly SEES its audience, and celebrates along with us. So, despite everything, despite any sort of troubles, despite any sort of lows, that's a big part of what has me clutching all of this so closely to my chest. And I really hope they can still see that love, because I want nothing more than for them to see this beautiful story through.

Also, getting to enjoy this with everyone. Getting to ride the wave from the beginning of filming, all the way through the finale. Getting to see all the excitement, all the theories, all the art, all the fanfiction, all the gif sets, all the meta, and everything in between. It has carried me through some nastiness in my personal life, and has subsequently served as a very welcomed distraction. It's been such a pleasure getting to delight in this new content with you all, and I hope we get to do so into the future. <3

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melvisik · 7 months

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OFMD S2 SPOILERS

This is complete self indulgence (but then, this is Tumblr, and there is an analysis towards the bottom). Just reiterating how notable the merman scene is, both from the practical way it was done and the metaphorical significance. But first to preface with a confession: I seek out spoilers, so with the prior expectation of seeing a merman!Stede, it was fairly obvious he was going to show up at this particular moment. Honestly not sure how this could be handled without disclosure. That knowledge or lack thereof is absolutely a contributing factor on the 'cringe' element. It can seem a little cringe, mostly from the fact we got something so outlandishly unexpected at a beautifully critical moment. But Stede is a cringe person:

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And besides, as far as unusual things happening at emotional scenes, last season we had this:

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Here is poor Edward Teach spilling his heart out, and Stede is presenting a much different air than the situation might call for. It didn't feel inauthentic per se (that is legit moment of confusion), but the atmosphere for a scene in an emotionally charged, key-point moment of a character's story arc just felt a little off (in my opinion anyway).

But you know what? This is a comedy. And as far as the performance goes, from what we've seen so far, Rhys Darby charges into any situation with stalwart commitment and full steam ahead, no matter how cringeworthy the risk.

And that includes donning a shimmering fish tail, grabbing a trident, and swimming in a large water tank to smile at the camera.

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Major props to him for that, it takes guts.

(Also, it's just frickin cool to try out a gorgeously decked out merperson tail. Lucky sunuvabitch...)

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Plus, as so many others have pointed out, the metaphor is just breathtaking. It's not just about the show being a comedy and playing off the strangeness of a merman showing up, but it's about what the scene represents. Hold on now, this is gonna be a long one... During that kiss on the beach, Stede Bonnet was so much of what Edward Teach has been yearning for in his life. Yes Stede is a representation of the 'finer' things (which Ed's own mother told him he could never have), but he's also kindness, understanding, support, love... things that Edward has more than likely been denied over and over again. For instance- in this tiny moment in his dream sequence, when Ed tries out being Jeff the Innkeeper, the figure of his old captain Hornigold is all for taking it way too seriously, bringing Ed down to face the cruelties of reality.

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But in these kinds of scenes, Stede plays with Ed. He is all for Blackbeard's Bar and Grill, and if someone is being a dick and not wanting to go visit the gift shop, he'll be there to give Ed encouragement.

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And then there's this:

And this:

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Ed vaguely reminds me of Aldonza from Man of la Mancha, which is a whole other analysis, but it's basically a character so beaten down by life that the very concepts of feeling worthy and being treated with kindness are devastating: Blows and abuse, I can take and give back again. Tenderness, I cannot bear. -"Aldonza" from Man of la Mancha. But Ed's vision of Stede seems to represent all the gentleness and sweetness Ed so desperately craves, and when Stede shows up here, he is so happy to see him. First mate 'we've-known-each-other-a-long-time' Izzy Hands flat out tells Ed that he loves him, and this is Ed's reaction:

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Because, lest we forget, Izzy told him that he wanted Blackbeard, not Edward, and that Edward better watch his fucking step.

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From Ed's point of view, who the hell is the harsh pirate Izzy to tell Edward that he loves him, when all he really seems to love is the persona of Blackbeard? But this is his reaction to the warm, gentle Stede Bonnet, who is supportive of the man Edward Teach and all his vulnerabilities:

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Also, within the scene itself, it is so important that Stede doesn't untie the rope from around Ed's waist. Here, this lays it out beautifully:

Edited based on a post I cannot find: This is also a rebirth for Ed - surrounded by wet and darkness, going towards the light, and taking his first new breath (while This Woman's Work plays in the background, a song literally about a problematic birth as the partner feels practically helpless to do anything)...

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So it's something Stede can't physically assist with. He can only give Ed support and a little guidance. In summation, as Edward plunges into the depths of despair, literally weighted down by his trauma, here comes this sweet, loving sea creature that is so different from anything he has ever known but has always wanted. Now, this could be problematic, as this season is probably going to delve more into how Ed and Stede see their roles fairly differently, with one ready to move on from the pirate life and the other ready to jump right in. Stede certainly doesn't seem to view himself as a sweet, goldfish merman, as currently he is all about being a swashbuckler.

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But for now, Ed's vision met with Stede's heart-wrenching desperation...

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...brilliantly highlights how much Ed and Stede mean to each other. And for this sequence, Rhys Darby learned a new skill and was fully present with Taika Waititi (MAJOR props to him also for shooting this underwater moment so frickin beautifully) in one of the most memorable scenes thus far.

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Maybe his motivation for doing it was just because merpersoning is a neat thing to do, but the result really meant a lot. To see him there with Taika's Edward in an actual tail, and not just Taika reacting to a body double with a masked over face or a CGI tail that will always be fake no matter how real it looks... Mad respect, man. And thank you. P.S. Also this:

Absolutely. Personally could not be more thrilled that they used practical effects rather than CGI. It shows, OFMD team. It really shows ❤️

#merman stede #mermaid stede #steard #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death season 2 spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #edward x stede #edward teach #stede bonnet #izzy hands

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jamrockshuffle · 7 months

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tes·ta·ment noun a: a tangible proof or tribute b: an expression of conviction

spotify link / image credit

izzy hands playlist; annotations, tracklist, and details under the cut

Updated 10/16/2023: literally so much manchester orchestra towards the end. but it's MY playlist I'll do what I want

A lot of kind of emotional, dark, passionate ed/izzy in this. So just keep that in mind :) This playlist was started last year. I think all of the songs fit still, but if you're looking for the more season 2 oriented content, I will mark the songs added since it aired. Hope you enjoy! It's nearly six hours I think I have a disease.

As per the uzsh the genres run the gambit. don't say I didn't warn you - All This Time / The Beta Machine

When you rose up this morning Did you take it for granted That I'd be there when you woke? That I'd still be there when you woke? [...] If you want me to adore you Better get up off the floor now I've said all I've had to say But maybe there's some better way

- Lost at Sea / Kellermensch

The war is over and I lost I learned the hard way not to trust It's getting easier every day To watch you slip further away

- You Should Have Known I'd Leave / Vast

Love is cold Love is blind Love is a sea And I don't know what you want But I know it's not me

- Blown Minded / Young Galaxy

In my heart I have lived without aught It's been the war of attrition Between a small-minded fool And sublime intuition

- Breathe / Puscifer

honestly lads I don't know what to say it just goes ok sorry

- Holy My Hand / UNKLE

- Touched / Vast

The razors and the dying roses Plead I don't leave you alone The demi-gods and hungry ghosts Oh god, god knows I'm not at home I'll never find someone quite like you, again I'll never find someone quite like you, again

- The Rat / Dead Confederate

This fucking song. I added it over a year ago but holy shit, has season 2 made it that much crazier. Honestly the entire song is just so... i don't even know what to tell ya tbh I would paste the whole song here if I could Shoot from the back And take good aim Make sure I'm dead Bang Bang 'Cause I'm a rat There's no mistake Under the bed Where you sleep Crush the skull And make me tame Sweep it up Hide it away No morals shown In no way explained Stupid human Shit for brains I am going feral over this song and how it slides in so neatly for season 2 so far (as of posting this, episode 3) I'll follow you Into the grave And at the gates I see the passing say "The judge be judged And all the wretched be saved" I throw my curse All across your days <3 ty for coming to my ted talk

- Lovesong / Snake River Conspiracy

might be a little controversial since it's a cover of the original by the cure, but this is more the kind of music I tend to listen to so that's what's in the playlist lol.

- Structure of Love II (Renholdër Remix) / VOWWS

Take a look at me now Have I disappeared? Is this the structure of love? Are you in here? I can't get you out of my mind Your love is so hard to define

- Tusk / Fleetwood Mac

I've said it before, I'll say it again. PERFECT edizzy song. If you think this is a stede/ed song you're wrong get the fuck outta here

- Bleak / Death Machine

Hold my breath Known I am one of the walking dead you say In my chest, there is a bombing It's made of flesh it's made of flesh

- The End Is Begun / 3

Watch what you say Words can be heard from your grave Pluck from a fist full of straws You cannot resist your tragic flaws And you said what you said That I'd be better off dead Than be fed into the furnace Of the monster Shall I cry, shall I die Shall I be shot through the sky As I fly into the furnace Of the monster

- Breadwinner / BEA1991

- Martyr / Roniit, Saint Mesa

Drop all your hunger, kill your dues So give me shelter, give me proof I'll be the martyr and the muse All of your sorrow, I'll consume

- Man Overboard / Puscifer

- Ennoea / Keluar

- Complicated End Times / O'Brother

You can try and measure what I do By the sweat in my brow But you don’t know a thing about me You want to snuff the fire out

- Goliath / Woodkid

A sustained heart pain and a dark fever How did I get fooled by such a savage curse? The more I forgive you, the more it backfires Now you're dancing through the smoke like nothing else matters

- Beat And The Pulse / Austra

- Spellwork / Austra

I work alone saving my soul If yesterday hurts, tomorrow is worse Send me a sign, for my body's aligned I'm ready to waste all my limbs and my face My pores are wide open And bleed for your potion Spellwork and lies

- Feral Love / Chelsea Wolfe

Your eyes black like an animal Black like an animal Crossing the water Lead them to die

- Drift / So Below

Even if you change your mind It doesn't have to mean that it's over Even when the moment's gone I feel the same Even when you bite your tongue It doesn't have to mean that it's over Even if it all goes wrong I feel the same way, hey

- Dancer in the Dark / Scratch Massive

Where did you go? My mind is gone I'm dancing in the dark Just silent and grey It's just silent and grey

- The More I Sleep, The Less I Dream / We Were Promised Jetpacks

I lost all hope I left it with someone, some time, somewhere ago And I picture it now The house on the hill, with nobody wandering around And I cry like hell I'm hugging the floor and pretending there's somebody else The more I sleep The less I dream The closer I feel Oh my word I'm nothing but a curse Oh my word I'm nothing but a-

- Ship in a Bottle / fin

Oh, captain, let's make a deal Where we both say the things that we both really feel I feel scared and I'm starting to sink And I only sink deeper the deeper I think

- Toma / Puscifer

Stole my patience, stole my pride Snatched the rhythm from my stride Kicked my certainty up the middle Knocked the wind out of my romantic side Hopes and wishes set aflame What's your purpose here, whatcha hope to gain? Took my dignity, you took my dignity Burned a lover so earned an enemy

- The Shore / Woodkid

I walked all day along the shore I was made for loving you I drown my pain in alcohol How could you feel the same way too? My feet will not walk anymore So I guess you ought to know the truth I wonder what I am made for If I'm not meant to be with you

- Restless (16BL Remix) / UNKLE, Josh Homme

Well, I'm all restless but I don't care You don't like me much, well, me neither You go read my mind like some kind of God You live, let's have you trippin' on the same one you lost

- Ship To Wreck / Florence + The Machine

And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I said? I can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I did? Did I drink too much? Am I losing touch? Did I build a ship to wreck?

- Lies / CHVRCHES

Always, we can sing, we can make time Old songs, flood and flame, you could be mine But you got to show me both knees, skin and bone Clothe me, throw me, move me 'til I can sell you lies You can't get enough Make a true believer of Anyone, anyone, anyone I can call you up If I feel alone I can feed your dirty mind Like I know, like I know what you want

- The End / The Beta Machine

A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me If all that's left of you is in my head This is more than a bad dream The end of all I know

- Jealous Sea / MEG MYERS

This whole song... like bruh lmfao Everything's right, everything's wrong When you call my name I can't handle the thought of always being gone When I'm wearing this ring And I want to go out, I want to get drunk Being in love and I don't want to fight But nothing makes sense anymore And I don't think I can stop the jealousy When it comes, it comes like waves and I can't breathe And I don't think I can stop the jealousy When it runs, it runs like lightening through my teeth I want you to tell me what to do I want you to tell me what you need When you look at me like you do Don't leave, I just can't get enough I just can't get enough

- Holy Water / Zippermouth

I don't want you to save me from the demons only you seem to see But don't you dare take my pride away and strip me of my sanity I'm calling all of you out I'm calling out of you in To the party of unnatural sin And my imperfections scare you, I can see it in your eyes Water That burns my bastard mind 'Cause I can love as good as one can love someone In a perfect world is one I will love myself before I will love you

- Die For You / VALORANT, Grabbitz

Now there's only one thing I can do Fight until the end like I promised to Wishing there was something left to lose This could be the day I die for you

- Choke / Hybrid

I'm not explaining myself to you

- Give It Up / Black City Lights

The fever's own Filling in my bones and my blood It's enough But I still can't take it off It's sickening Hands around my neck And my chest is burning with my breathing

- Elijah / Blood Red Shoes

- Love You Wrong / Husky Loops

I've thought about it all along I am sure I love you wrong

- Autumn / Bear In Heaven

Silent romance guided by chance, just like everything Altogether would it ever suffocate the pain?

- Hands On The Bible / Local H

Hands on the Bible Scared like a child God holds you liable For what you've done Homicidal Stared down your idols A pretty baby Never born You can't believe it You didn't mean it But they saw you do it And they know your name

- Touch / July Talk

I want to make some space underneath my skin Cut me open, I can let you in Should I let myself be torn in two? And will you give into that side of you?

- Avalanche / Kosheen

He's nothing like me So wrong and wretched Your safe reality Is living in sketches And live out happiness With no explanation And peer out at the world

- A Long Time Away / Shearwater

A break in the clouds like a crack in a cylinder But now there's blood on the beach and a wreck in the water As the shadow arrives on the face of your innocence You feel the shock in your eyes and the shaking in your own hands

- It's No Good / Depeche Mode

Don't say you want me Don't say you need me Don't say you love me It's understood Don't say you're happy Out there without me I know you can't be 'Cause it's no good

- Always Right / Ramona Falls

God is in the things you love So don't you punch me with kid gloves

- No Tomorrow / The Birthday Massacre

Dedication to the ruin of the light within you Darkness all around It's so easy to let go of all the things that make you true Watch it all fall down You bait me, I follow And if this night feels hollow Then drown me in sorrow There will be no tomorrow

- Flood / Saltillo

I wanna watch you wreck all the paintings in my house As you run down my wall (Holes of my life) Wash away these things I never needed These papers and these clothes

- The Remedy / Puscifer

izzy @ stede bonnet tbh. well, in season 1 at least ;)

- Little One / Beck

Drown, drown, sailors run aground In a sea change, nothing is safe And strange waves push us every way In a stolen boat, we'll float away

- Becker / Autolux

That's delirium's way You know it seems so right All the entertainment they spray Atrocities contrite It brings you back again It finds you every time The blackest quote they spit into the tin can of your mind

- Eyelids / Saro

In my eyelids, I’ve tattooed your words To remember what I don’t deserve Could you be why I feel so empty?

- Found You / Django Django

I've heard my name spoken in vain so many times You called, well here I am, what is yours is mine There's nothing you won't sell But I don't want the wealth you made That's not what I returned for

- Darkness At The Heart Of My Love / Ghost

There's a darkness at the heart of my love That runs cold, runs deep

- Dangerous / Son Lux

I watch you fall Hollow and depleted A city razed Oh, to bury you beneath it

- Numb / MARINA

- Fear and Loathing / MARINA

- O My Heart / Mother Mother

And I throw my heart back to the ocean But it don't go far, it come back floating And I watch it wash it up with the dead fish But it ain't quite dead, it just is like this

- Bones / The Qemists, Kellermensch

Fearless: my heart Open my arms Laying on the dark isle Every way is down

- El Monstro / SkraeckOedlan

(There beyond the dawn we see you, but our longing is an agony) Där bortom gryningen vi ser dig, men våran längtan är ett kval (They have robbed you of your future, we belong together you and I) De har berövat dig din framtid, vi hör tillsammans du och jag

- Relocate / Kauf

Do you feel any better now? I'm trying to follow what you told me I'm just a dog, mystical empathy and carefree I can't forget the skin pulled tight, every letter read Is it your justice we never see? Do you feel any better now? Your father is lying where the bones are A little lost colony from the start I can't forget the skin pulled tight, every letter read Is it your justice we never see? We never see what only you can say We are ready for it

-> SONGS ADDED AFTER SEASON 2 STARTS HERE

- Before We Drift Away / Nothing But Thieves

- A Place To Call Home / Big Wreck

So how do you beg for what's your own Pick the pieces, lick the wounds Stoke the fire, fan the flame Squeeze the clouds until it rains Would you champion the cause? 'Til you find out what you've lost Who do you dare to call your own And where's the place that you call home?

- My Name Is Ruin / Gary Numan

My name is Ruin, my name is vengeance My name is no one, and no one is calling My name is Ruin, my name is heartbreak My name is lonely, my sorrow's a darkness

- Run From Me / Timber Timbre

- Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Allegretto / Beethoven

- Because the Night / Patti Smith

- Dear Brother / Puscifer

Reminiscing on our indestructible days The party never seemed to end We donkey punched the night away Some risky business, my friend Fortune seemed to favor us 'Round every dark and twisted bend

- The Moth / Manchester Orchestra

This song makes me so insane tbh Forced myself to take a different name Buried with metonymy Decide for me Throw the man you used to be away Bury him with rivalry entirely My entire life you've been obsessing with the light The closer that you get, the further up you've got to climb You wanna hear it hurt, you wanna feel it when he dies If you walk that path alone, you've got to look him in the eye

- Brevony / Ramona Falls

- Graveyard Shift / Battle Tapes

I fell asleep at the helm of a runaway train And laid myself at the feet of what I couldn't slay

- Black Cloud / POSTDATA

There's nothing outside, there’s nobody left There's nowhere to hide, nowhere to run or to forget No one to find you if you ever tried to And nobody tries to Sand in the sky, drowning in the wind Look in my eyes, mama, I've been contaminated Little by little by little, just a little bit Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me?

- Keel Timing / Manchester Orchestra

Yet another song that makes me insane. I put too much Manchester Orchestra in here but I'm living my best life Don’t let 'em in your bed, we're lying Don't let 'em in your bed, he is lying Little more, a little more, he is biting I was folding slowly frozen Changed for you And it wasn't right, but it wasn't wrong It was holy

- Pale Black Eye / Manchester Orchestra

This entire Song is so fucking wild I don't have yours or mine I don't hurt you like I used to Amy, you must be tired cause when you sleep, you sleep alone And understand the throne Cause if he didn't pay what he had paid I'd undeniably become erased So whatever you want Take whatever you need And bite your veins Bleed your pain Into me Goddamn I'm tired of lying I wish I loved you like I used to So hold on, you pale black eye Cause when I sleep, I sleep alone

- Strawberry Letter 23 / Shuggie Otis

- Pygmy Love Song / Francis Bebey

- In The Dark / Cathedrals

I can see you fall apart You turn away and fade out of sight But I hear you call in the night Let it go, let me hold you this time (don’t say a word)

- The Sailor Song / Autoheart

ty @soundless-storm for the suggestion :) I was your sailor, your demon, your lover Your overbearing best friend Hoping for some attention

- Megalomaniac / Aeseaes

Eye to thigh as he sharpens his blade Thick sweat, sick salt, lead bellyaches I don’t know what I’ve been drinking Dripping dread as all the lights start scrеaming Seven-inch steel bolt fed to thе head Now is then and I am now bound to forget The devil wears a cotton dress over his gun Jagged mumbles wispy warbles blushing in the sun

- Rule #9 - Child of the Stars / Fish in a Birdcage

You were a wanderer Back when you were young I remember your eyes were clear Brighter than the sun With hands so soft Delicate and sweet You learned to fall And balance on your own two feet I could only lead you so far I believe in who you are

- Vessel / Dan Mangan + Blacksmith

There are other lyrics in this song that are good too but this just reminds me of 2x01 when Izzy tells Fang to unhand him when he starts to cry Stop Wait Un Hand Me

- Cover Me / Black Math

One hand above the skin My head below the water As I float in the deep As I float in the deep

- Let It Storm / Manchester Orchestra

This is very post 2x04. For the new unicorn :) I don't wanna hold back my faith anymore I don't wanna fall into that man again I just wanna keep both my feet on the floor So let it touch me And let it storm

- Disciple / IAMX

Sorry this song is kind of a lot lol Disciple, I absolve you So forgive yourself enough to obey the naked truth That you need to be owned And you beg to be controlled

- Bed Head / Manchester Orchestra

This song is SO season 2 ed/izzy it makes me so insane it's the entire fucking song tbh I'm posting most of the song lyrics sorry. "Bed Head" is two old friends existing in two separate realities. It's a conversation about the lives they lived, the consequences of life's decisions, and finding purpose in trying to be better. Arguing with the dead I'm not alone but it sure feels like someone left Deaf notes and talking heads Carrying on your debt Blood on the bed head and volumes you left unsaid Let 'em talk and let it habit, now I'm afraid you're alone Oh, my God Let me relinquish and start to distinguish my past, and my time You and I are oil and fire, so Oh, my God Let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind Now I believe in the ghost Ghost Clawing against your skin Clutching my neck said, "It's all supposed to end like this" You and I are panoramic Now I'm afraid of the ghost [...] Right by the entrance, you broke Finally, reality's taking its hold You're not who you were, but you can't let it go You're not where you're from, but you're always alone So I stick a flag in the ground I think I know who I'm living for now I am what I am, same above as the ground It's not what I want, but I'm figuring it out

I'll keep updating the annotations as I have free time :) the playlist is almost 80 songs long and growing lol. Enjoy!

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #fanmix #thanks for coming to my ted talk once again #i'm feral #blackhands #edizzy #listen I know they're going thru it rn but don't @ me I'm fine

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finethingswellworn · 6 months

Text

Stede's arc is hitting me so hard.

Because of course. Of fucking course this would happen. It was almost inevitable and the inevitability is crushing me.

Stede has spent his whole life being mocked for being soft or being written off completely. Never, not once, before he found his crew and Ed, did he receive love, care, or validation from anyone.

We see in Stede's perfect fantasy dream at the beginning of the season what he thinks he needs to do to win Ed's heart, to be a "man." That being your typical macho dudebro shit. Vanquishing Izzy, fighting, impressing Ed with his newfound pirate skills.

Then, he actually manages to get Ed back and he thinks the way to keep him is to be someone he isn't, really, because he still, after all this time, doesn't realize that Ed wants him as he is. Soft, kind, gentle.

As Ed says, Stede appeared to Ed as a sparkly fucking merperson and it was that Stede who saved Ed's life. Not as some great champion but as a weird, ethereal creature of the fucking deep. If Ed wanted someone to fight for him, he could have had his choice years and years and years ago.

But father Bonnet's words are still ringing in Stede's ears, even now. "Soft-handed, lily-livered little rich boy." So when Ed and his crew are threatened, Stede finally has the chance to do something about it. He kills Ned.

Just like when he got rid of Nigel, he's rewarded for it. Except, this time, it's not only by his crew. It's by the whole pirate community. A community that had once laughed at him, thrown drinks on him, humiliated him in every possible way. A community that he'd wanted so desperately to impress for so long.

It might be simple to say that Stede did all this just to impress Ed, and that's certainly a factor in it, but it goes a waaaaay deeper than that. There's a huge part of Stede that wants this, wants to be feared and respected, admired and valued in the way that Blackbeard used to be. He's said it from the first: "If I could only be... like Blackbeard... I'd give all of this away." It's a not-so-secret craving of his, the craving of a man who has been systematically disrespected and ignored his entire life.

"NOTICE ME!"

"SEE ME!"

"Can't YOU TELL I'M DIFFERENT NOW, (even if I've turned my back on everything I am, wrecked all my previous relationships to chase after this new, shiny thing,) SO FINALLY YOU'LL WANT ME, YOU'LL LET ME INTO YOUR CIRCLE."

And they do, for a time. The other pirates actually fucking do.

Oh, the thrill. Oh, the exhilaration. The wave of euphoria of that... it's like a drug. It sweeps everything else aside, everyone else who might love you enough to tell you this isn't who you are or what you should be doing. It whispers sweet, sweet nothings in your ear. Makes you act like a total jackass and everybody's loving it, loving you.

You start thinking: "I can do this. I can really do this. This is the new me. I don't have to be my lame old self who people have always looked down on in disgust or pity or both anymore. What a relief! I can be this cool guy who everyone likes."

Stede doesn't understand that he's doing the exact same thing Ed did with Calico Jack. No, the thrill is too overwhelming for that. He doesn't understand that, if Ed had bothered to stick around longer to talk, he probably would have said: "I don't like who you are around these guys."

It's not that Ed doesn't want Stede to be successful, it's that he doesn't want it like this. He doesn't want to be a pirate at all. He wants to do something simple like run an inn. But Stede's still too high on that recently acquired infamy and validation to notice Ed's discomfort with the situation. Or his own.

Until, all at once, he's in way over his head. He realizes, "Oh shit, I can't do this." He's beaten and battered, rendered pathetic yet again, and the only people who still care for him are the people he started out with. His crew, begging him to plead mercy. Because everyone else has died or left him as soon as he wasn't the toughest one in the room.

And here we leave him, having made a laundry list of mistakes, with everything up in flames and Ed gone. A new low. A hard lesson. But a necessary one.

This fucking show!

#stede bonnet #i’ve only watched the episodes once so forgive me if this is choppy and incoherent #OFMD S2 ep6 spoilers #OFMD S2 ep7 spoilers #OFMD S2 spoilers #our flag means death season two spoilers #our flag means death #our flag means death spoilers #Edward teach

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brigdh · 6 months

Note

for the WIP ask meme: would love a sneak peek of "Ed incompently comforting Stede"

The WIP meme!

Thank you!

I was having a discussion about how, too often, in fic Ed and Stede are both excellent at knowing the exactly correct therapy-speak thing to say to each other, whereas in canon they're more likely to fumble and misunderstand and get things wrong at first. And I really want more of the second version!

So I wrote a little thing where comfort is difficult but they get there in the end. The set-up is that Stede experienced some sort of sexual harassment from bullies as a child (I didn't bother to figure out the details, so it's all left vague), and has told Ed about it, but Ed didn't grasp how much it affected Stede at first, since Stede was doing his usual self-deprecating thing. I'll post the whole thing below, because this is one of my abandoned drawerfics; I didn't want to write out any of that setup or the climax afterwards, so the only part of the story that exists is the comfort itself. Also this is set in a vague post-S1 reconciliation period.

(Extremely minor noncon mentions)

Ed opens his eyes to darkness, at first not quite sure why he’s awake. After a moment, he hears it again – a soft, muffled sound, like a gasp or a sob.

Ed sits up and peers over the back of the settee. It’s dark in the captain’s (captains’, now) cabin, but the bed is up against a pane of windows and he can make out the silhouette of Stede’s form, curled up into a small ball, shoulders shaking.

Ed’s by the side of the bed in an instant. “Stede, mate,” he says in a whisper, “what’s the matter? Bad dream?”

“Oh, Ed! Nothing’s the matter, you don’t need to bother–"

“Yeah, I think I fucking do. You’re crying.”

“Nope, no. Me, crying? Nah. Probably an owl.”

Ed pauses, the covers held up to slide beneath and one leg already on the bed. “An owl.”

“Mm-hm!”

“Stede, we’re a hundred miles from land and you’re telling me I heard an owl.”

“Could be an albatross, then!”

Ed remains frozen in place long enough to hear what is definitely a sniffle, then stands up and slaps the covers back into place. “Sure, whatever. Just fucking lie right to my face, then, s’not like I fucking care." Technically Stede hasn’t, since he’s still curled up facing the windows, but Ed isn’t about to give him a pass for that reason.

“Ed!” Stede sits up and twists around, but Ed is already stomping back to the settee. “It is nothing, really, I was just being foolish–"

Ed throws himself onto the settee, where at least the back is high enough that he doesn’t have to look at Stede, or watch Stede not looking at him. “Bet if I fetched the boy Stede would tell him,” he says entirely to himself in what is not a pointedly loud tone. “Bet he knows all the right fancy words to say because he’s not a stupid pirate.”

“Ed, please, don’t wake anyone else up. I’m fine. I’m sorry you had to hear me.”

“I bet you’d tell your fucking wife!”

There’s a silence in the cabin then, one that seems to ring with Ed’s shout. It’s broken only by a very quiet sniffle.

Shit. Shit. Ed’s heart sinks. Shit. That was definitely too far. He’s so bad at this. Very slowly, feeling like absolute trash, he raises his head and peeks over the top of the settee. Stede’s sitting on the edge of the bed, bare feet brushing the floor. He’s got a sheet drawn around him like an improvised robe, and he’s staring down at his lap.

“‘M sorry,” Ed whispers.

Stede simultaneously shrugs and nods, which seems like they cancel each other out, leaving Ed with no idea what it means. Stede scrubs at his face with one fist, draws a deep breath, then puts his shoulders back. “Yes, well, if it makes you feel better, I didn’t tell Mary, actually.”

Ed swallows. That should be enough, should satisfy him, but he really wants to know. He’s greedy, when it comes to Stede. “Didn’t tell her what?”

Stede pulls the sheet tighter around his shoulders. “The, the thing. That happened. I did tell you. I haven’t been trying to keep secrets, Ed. Even though I know it shouldn’t matter so much, I know I’m being childish and foolish and weak-willed, but-"

“Stede. What thing? What are you talking about?” Ed pulls himself fully upright to lean over the back of the settee, but he doesn’t go back over to the bed, as much as his skin itches with wanting to touch Stede. He’s afraid closing the space between them will break the spell.

Stede cringes, his shoulders going up and his face lowering even further down. “The sex thing,” he says, quietly enough that Ed can barely make out the words. “You know. When – when it was bad.”

“That’s why you’re crying?”

Stede looks sharply to the side, chin up and held tight. “You don’t need to say anything about it. I’m already aware that I shouldn’t let it bother me.”

“Who says it shouldn’t bother you?” Ed lets his fingers dig into the upholstery of the settee and his voice go cool, ready to destroy whoever’s been upsetting Stede.

Stede whips around to stare at him. “You did!”

“What?” Ed rears back in surprise. “No, I didn’t!”

“You said it happened all the time! You said it was common!”

“I meant you weren’t alone!” Ed draws in a shaky breath, trying to claim back control over himself. “Fuck, Stede, lots of fucked-up things happen all the time. Lots of common things are just – fucking terrible, mate.”

Stede is silent for a long moment. Ed wants him to say something, but at least he can make out enough of Stede’ silhouette to see it’s gone a bit softer, no longer looking like he’s so stiff that he might snap into two. Finally, Stede says quietly, “Well, I’m sure none of the others are still crying about a thing that happened over thirty years ago.”

Ed thinks about Jack, who used to have nightmares whenever he went to sleep sober. He never said what they were about, but he’d whimper behind clenched teeth and thrash hard enough to dump Ed out of their shared hammock, and one time when Ed sneaked up behind him, Jack had nearly gutted him before he realized who it was. He thinks about a whore he’d been fond of for a while, visiting her every time they stopped in Port Royal. Sometimes when Ed arrived, she’d have bruises. Not on her hips or thighs, which might just have been evidence of too good of a time – Ed’d had those sorts of bruises himself – but a black eye, or a split lip, or once a dark ring around her upper arm. He’d asked about that one, and she’d just shown him her teeth, more of a snarl than a smile. The nights she had bruises, he paid her just to let him sleep in her bed – which he did sometimes anyway – and left her extra coin in the morning and they didn’t talk about it. And then one time he went back and she was gone and no one would say where.

Ed thinks about how small the house he’d grown up in was, and the noises he’d hear at night sometimes from his parents’ bed. He hadn’t know what it meant, at the time, but looking back his mom’s smile on the mornings after now made him sick to his stomach.

“Maybe it’d have been better if they did cry,” Ed says.

Stede just shakes his head.

“Look, man, aren’t we supposed to be doing this shit together, now?” Ed tries.

“Important things,” Stede says. “Not my silly little problems.”

Ed gets up and moves partway to the bed. He’s wearing a nightshirt Stede gave him, which he’s got to admit is more comfortable for sleeping than his leathers, but there’s no pockets and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He wants to put them on Stede, but he thinks it’s not the right time for that, not yet, maybe not ever if he can’t figure out where Stede’s head is at. “You hold me, when I cry,” Ed says. “’S nice.”

It’s more than nice; the last time Ed was sobbing and howling into Stede’s shoulder, it had felt like Stede’s grasp was the only thing keeping him breathing through it, like if Stede had let go Ed might have just been done for. It’s part of the reason Ed forgave him so quickly, far quicker than he’d meant to. But he was pretty sure if he’d had to cry alone one more time it might have literally killed him, and he wanted Stede to hold him so badly that he’d have done anything for it, and so in the end it was goodbye, Ed’s pride, hello, Stede’s arms.

But he doesn’t need to say that. He’s already being enough of a clingy bastard tonight. “Okay, so, you don’t want me to hold you. Or talk about it. Great, got that. But don’t you – don’t you want anything from me, man?” Ed bites back a groan at himself; yeah, real well done with the not sounding needy.

Stede looks up at him, and they’re at just enough of an angle to one another that his eyes catch a flash of moonlight and Ed can see them, wet and bright and dark, and it sends another jolt of longing through his chest. “Ed, I just – I want to be enough for you. I want to be strong, to be a real partner for you.” His voice goes thin, unshed tears tightening his throat. “I’m so afraid that I can’t be what you want me to be.”

“Fuck, Stede.” Ed can’t hold back; he clambers onto the bed and grabs Stede’s face in both hands and kisses him all over it, peppering his forehead and cheeks and the damp corners of his eyes with short little pecks. “I love you so fucking much, you don’t even fucking know how much, it’s just ridiculous. I want all of you, okay? I want every fucking thing. I want the bad shit and the embarrassing shit and the shit that makes you burn up with shame. I want it.”

Stede huffs a shaky laugh and tucks his face into Ed’s neck. “I’m going to get snot on your nightshirt,” he warns.

“Love that. Fucking great, snot. Gimme all the snot you got, man, I want that too.” Ed digs his fingers into Stede’s hair and holds him tightly in place, feeling Stede’s hot wet breaths against his skin.

It takes a while for Stede to cry, though he'd seemed close to tears a moment ago. Ed pulls him in and Stede lets him, even curls up a bit to lean against Ed's chest, but his body’s still tense, nowhere near pliant. They sit like that in silence for several minutes.

The first sob is loud and harsh, sounds like it's ripped from Stede's throat, but right after he goes quiet again. It takes Ed a second to realize that he's working so hard to contain the tears that he's stopped breathing, every muscle on him gone rigid with the effort of keeping control. His lungs can't hold on for long, of course, and soon another rough sound escapes - more of a gasp than a sob, really - before Stede clamps down again. It goes on like that, individual sobs that fight their way out between taut silences. Ed presses his hand down on Stede's scalp and puts his other arm around his back, holding on as tightly as he can. He gets a leg up on the bed behind Stede, presses that into him too, folding as much of his body as he can manage around Stede's, wishing he could entirely envelop him, keep him safe and secret from the rest of the world.

Stede's staccato crying gradually gets the better of him, the gasps coming closer and closer together until they blend into steady weeping. Ed holds him through it, muttering shit that doesn’t mean much but that he hopes sounds good anyway – “I got you” and “let it out” and “you’re okay”. He clings hard to Stede like Ed’s the one on the verge of being swept away, though Stede doesn’t cling back; Stede keeps his hands to himself, one half-covering his own mouth in a futile attempt to muffle his sounds. Ed tries not to let that bother him. It helps that it’s his shirt collar that’s soaking up Stede’s tears, sticking against his skin as the cloth grows damp and then wet.

***

#meme #our flag means death

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rocketrouquine · 7 months

Text

Random thoughts on my second viewing of episode 2 :

The « you wear fine things well » replay : Taika hasn’t the same expression, when I tell you this is a different take, I’ll bet my script supervisor ass on it. If they did that, it’s for underlining the fact that they weren’t seeing the same thing in the relationship…

Stede, my sweet angel… maybe don’t tell everyone you meet (even your lovely towel collegues Maggie, Jane and Tiff) about your heart trouble with fucking Blackbeard.

The way he’s saying « they draw him to look like a ghoul » is so sooooo gay. Like disgusted sassy sista level.

Fuck you that’s how I am may or may not become a motto of mine.

Actually this whole scene, Lucius is in a fucking telenovela. The stop in the doorframe, talking across your shoulder without turning and the little disappointed head nod at the end. « oh, yeah. Now you care ? » (it just missed an hairflip) He came to ham and I’m here for it.

Sea witch again. I mean we actually saw him talking with birds last season so why the surprise.

Ed behind Frenchie in every room like a fucking dead child jumpscare in leather.

He’s actually terrifying all calm and smiling. You can sense that he can turn at every second. Like a MF snake (you know the ones, fuck yuuuuu)

Sir when you approach me like that, all analytical and stuff, I don’t think there’s anything I won’t let you do to me (imagine Ed turning this on Stede in the bedroom pffffiouuu)

*Wheeze « A panto ? » (give this man an Oscar)

I really have trouble with « he’s our dick ».. you are aware that this is the man who had absolutely no problem stranding your love on an island ? Who pushed for it, even ? That in the memory you evoke, he’s the only one not sitting with you all, all alone in the background sulking ? I guess if you consider him like the nasty old dog who bites everyone and barks all the time, I can see it…

You have hope, it’s cute . Archie is actually really interesting because she represents the classic pirate (like Ed’s crew before being Stedefied), being put amongst the crew of what she thinks is probably the rockstar of captains but they do things all weird and emotional (between bloodbaths). You can see that she’s tempted but also don’t hesitate to throw the first punch in the battle to the death because that’s how stuff goes.

Take the fucking leg (« …bitch » very much implied)

The little ships were all over the place. They kinda treat Olu like a himbo this season which if my memories serve me right was the opposite of what he was last season. (He’s still emotionally intelligent but the logical sense seems to have gone. In this scene anyway)

Every time a new character says China, I cannot take out of my mind that they are mocking Trump. (Roach’s one in particular was spot on)

Awwww Olu’s all bashful and shit, I’m sure he’s moving his shoe on the ground, like a little shy child.

Stede, All happy about the soup : So wild it’s insane ! Lucius, eyes rolling to the back of his head : Jesus Christ, Stede, keep your pants on. * gets up and go drag on his cigaret like an old nihilist prostitute. * Ahahaha! Lucius is so done with Stede, I can’t ! He reminds me of me with my mom when I was a teenager. (I was horrible)

shitty pathetic incompetent captain Holy shit, this burn must have dried up the ocean and that’s why they have to drag the boat on land.

The Oookay of Black Pete must be studied.

I had a dream about you last night and with that phrase, all Blackhands shippers burst into flames. To then die a horrible death for the next minutes and being turned to dust at … best I could. (Also, If I had told you about « good for you » « it was good for me » I don’t think this is how you would have envision it)

But seriously the acting in this scene was INSANE. (I mean more than good, I mean stellar)his laugh is haunting me.

Wait… wait.. is he doing the romcom trope of being horrible to him so that he would leave, to protect him ? but instead he tortures him until he has no choice but to kill him ? Ed, darling, you basic trope girl.

Yeah I guess we could call it closure. Hum.

Yeah, I am ! And I’m alone ! Don’t be like me. Stede has evolved SO MUCH. I’m actually very much hopeful about the discussion he’s going to have with Ed. It won’t be miscommunication bullshit.

The puppet game… Something tells me Lucius won’t like to listen to Pinocchio anymore. Don’t even ask him to make any voice. Stede! The hand went where you think!

Well, Hello back little black scarf which goes with everything ! Especially with the ultimate descent into the pitts of madness and despair.

Stede is choosing « alive » on Blackbeard old poster : thank you, magic of belief, for saving Ed’s life !

There’s a drawing, I repeat, he doodled Ed’s face amongst little bouts of emo poetry… oh stede.

Beheading, arsoning, just a little bit of a dick love of his life.

HE’S NOT BROKEN. SHUT UP !

calm down, you two, with the head against head : you kissed once. In the words of spicy rat boy « Jesus Christ keep your pants on »

Romance novel cover one legged indestructible little fucker Izzy under the rain.

IZZY’S HEAD ON FANG’S SHOULDER AS THEY ARE KILLING ED, WHAT !

After the pyramid scheme, Olu being the get away text.

Okay, on to the next. It will be a fucking novel.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death season 2 #thoughts #second viewing #ofmd meta #i had notes

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run-me-through-but-not-like-that · 2 years

Note

heyy i love the way you write, can i have a request for izzy? him and the reader were childhood friends and the reader was the only person izzy opened up but then izzy chose ed instead of the reader and after years they reunited, thanks to stede

(idk if i was able to explain what's on my mind but basically friends to strangers to friends to lovers trope)

oh and i hope you are okay!!

Reuniting with your Childhood Best Friend, Izzy Hands:

Ever since you were kids, you and Izzy had been best friends. It was always the two of you against the world, or that's how it felt at least. You grew up together, learnt how to survive together. Vowed to do everything together. And that's just how it was, until Edward Teach showed up.

A boy with fire in his eyes and unmatched charisma. The three of you became friends during his short stay in your hometown, you taught him all the best spots in town and he taught you both how to cause as much trouble as possible.

Edward told you all his stories from his short time as a pirate, told stories about how he was going to be the greatest pirate in history, how he would rule the seas. You could admit that you admired the boy and his ambitions and you could tell that Izzy was in awe of it. Of him.

Then it was time for Edward to sail off with the ship he arrived on. He invited you both to join him, to help him become the most fearsome pirate captain the world had ever seen.

You knew Izzy would go, you saw it on his face, you did know him better than anyone after all. You wanted to go with them, didn't want to spend the rest of your life in this town, but you couldn't leave. You had a responsibility to your sick mother.

It broke your heart to see Izzy go, broke his too. He had given you a tight embrace before boarding the ship with the taller boy.

And you didn't see either of them again...

Of course, you had heard about the infamous Blackbeard. You hadn't thought too much of it at first, just that a new force had risen on the seas. It wasn't until you heard the mysterious captain being referred to as 'Edward Teach' that you paused to consider it.

You knew that name, that man. Boy, really, when you knew him.

As Blackbeard's infamy grew, so did the rest of his crew. Including his infamous first mate, Israel Hands. You had grinned like an idiot when you heard that name.

They did it. The two of them fucking did it. Two stupid kids, now Blackbeard and his first mate. Two of the most feared pirates to ever sail the seven seas.

You had resigned yourself to never seeing them again, never seeing him again, even after you learnt that they were alive and making a name for themselves. There was no chance you were going to risk a run in with Blackbeard's crew claiming to be an old friend.

Time passed, you joined various crews. None were permanent, as was typical for the lifestyle. Then you met possibly the strangest man you had ever met, Stede Bonnet, and when you saw the fuckery of a crew he had assembled, you jumped right on board. The whole thing was just too enticing, too different, to pass up.

You stayed with that crew longer than any other crew you had sailed with before, finding friendships there. Family. A home. Something you hadn't experienced in a long time.

The last thing you expected was for Blackbeard to come across the Revenge, to take an interest in it, to fucking board it and save all of your lives.

You had gawked at the man when he strode across the deck, probably a reaction he was used too and didn't think twice about.

But your reaction wasn't because he was the legendary Blackbeard, it was because he was...so much different. The last time you saw him he barely had a stubble, just peach fuzz really, with hair just past his ears. But it was the same look in his eyes, something half-mad (you still weren't sure if it was a good thing or not).

You had looked around for the first mate but hadn't seen him, it made a familiar, heavy feeling settle in your chest.

You didn't see the man until later that day. Once Stede had been declared stable, experiencing a bad fever but likely to survive it. The crew had been kept at bay by two men, Ivan and Fang you think you heard.

That's when the man made himself known on the deck. You hadn't even recognised him at first as he strode about, barking orders and threats. It wasn't until Blackbeard came back out from the captain's cabin, laughing and saying, "calm down, Iz. We've got this."

Your eyes had widened. Iz. Izzy.

Israel fucking Hands.

The first mate had tensed, shouldering squaring as he spun around to face you. Oh, you must have said that out loud. Yeah, everyone was looking at you, confused.

He squinted at you, trying to figure out what to make of you. How you knew him.

"Really? Y'don't remember me, Iz? That stings," it was half joking because it definitely would hurt if he didn't remember you.

But he did. He breathed out your name, recognition taking over his face.

When you stepped forward to approach your old friend, Ivan had grabbed you. Only following orders, you were sure, nothing personal.

"Leave them," Izzy demanded and Ivan released you in an instant, though confused by the order.

You finally approached the man, a smile on your face. Hell, Izzy couldn't remember the last time somebody recognised him and smiled.

"Holy fuck, I remember you," Edward, Blackbeard, whoever, pointed at you. His eyes widening slightly.

"Yeah, I remember you too. Before the beard," you nodded, unsure of how to interact with him. He wasn't that lanky kid anymore, he was intimidating now.

"Yeah...kinda stole Iz away, didn't I?" Edward chuckled, clasping his hand over Izzy's shoulder.

"No hard feelings. I couldn't go, would have if it weren't for...well, you know," you never really blamed Izzy for leaving, even if you sometimes wanted to hate him for leaving you all alone. If circumstances were different, you would have left with them without a second thought.

Edward seemed confused by that, obviously not remembering your reason for staying behind when he invited you both into a life of piracy. Izzy, on the other hand, nodding in understanding, his expression almost, almost, apologetic

"How-I mean, what happened?" Izzy asked lowly, almost guiltily.

"The inevitable," you sighed solemnly, "we both knew she wasn't going to get better but I couldn't just leave her...had to be there until...until the end, y'know?"

"I'm sorry," the first mate nodded respectfully. You still remembered a time when he would have pulled you into his arms, letting you cry against his shoulder. Even if it felt like a lifetime ago.

You just shrugged, shaking off the old memories.

You took a moment to take in his new appearance. He was older now, obviously, had grown a few inches, wasn't quite as small as he once was. Had grown a beard, not as impressive or wild as Blackbeard, more neat and trimmed, greying. It suited him.

He had tattoos now as well, not as many on display as his captain but two noticeable ones. A cross, perhaps a star, on his cheek and a swallow on his neck. The latter only served to remind you of the fierce pirate he had become.

He looked like a different man, his eyes harder than they once were but the same colour. Still familiar.

The new look suited him.

Then you noticed the ring secured around his necktie and your heart nearly leapt out of your chest. A part of you always worried that Izzy went on to bigger and better things, that he would forget about you. But he hadn't.

"You kept the ring?" you asked, staring at the shiny piece of jewellery. He had taken good care of it by the looks of it.

"Uh...yeah, I guess" Izzy attempted to shrug it off, trying not to look flustered. Like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't. Honestly, he was a little surprised that you remembered it as well.

You just grinned as you fished a chain out from under the collar of your shirt, presenting the ring that hung from it like a pendant.

"Fuck" Izzy breathed out, he had felt silly for keeping hold of it...until now.

"Very eloquent. As always," you chuckled a little to yourself. His language hadn't changed in the slightest. "Just glad I wasn't the only one," you confessed.

"Hold on a fucking second," Izzy shook his head, seemingly coming to his senses as his surprise wore off. "You work for fucking Bonnet?" he asked, looking at you like you had lost your mind.

"Uh yeah. Been pirating for years now, since...y'know. Ran into Stede and his crew a while back. They do things a lot differently here, it's insane, and I had to be apart of it," you explained.

"I shouldn't even be surprised. I mean...it's you," Izzy rolled his eyes. Strange things had always endeared you.

"Ah, so you do remember me well," you grinned.

Before Izzy could respond, Blackbeard patted his shoulder. "Iz, uh, can we kinda move this along? I need you for something," it wasn't really a question, he was his captain after all.

Izzy just nodded, sparing you a final glance, before following him towards the captain's cabin.

"You know Blackbeard!" Black Pete shouted once the two men were out of sight.

"Uh...kinda? Not really. I grew up with Izzy, actually. We met Edward, uh Blackbeard, when we were teenagers," you explained, returning to your crew. Remembering that you were technically captives at the moment.

"At least this might mean he won't kill us," Frenchie looked at you hopefully.

"...we'll see," you hummed, unconvinced. You were never able to predict Edward, you didn't think that would have changed over the years.

As the two captains struck up an unlikely friendship, the crew quickly learnt that Izzy was an absolute nightmare. Running them hard to keep the ship up to his standards, each demand punctuated with a threat, and yet, not once had he threatened you.

In fact, whenever you approached him, he seem to mellow out, listening to whatever you had to say. Fuck, he might have even smiled at some memory you recalled to him. When the crew learnt that you had once been friends with the first mate, they thought might be let off easy. Apparently, Izzy's soft spot only extended to you.

-

Despite having reunited with your childhood friend and spending most of your time with him most days, it could be difficult to get him alone. Even harder to have his full attention.

So, when you found out that Izzy was on watch one night, you headed up from the bunks to finally get some time to properly talk to him.

"So...you and Edward really did it? Blackbeard and his first mate, two of the most feared pirates to ever sail to seas," you asked as you stepped up onto the quarterdeck.

"You didn't think we would?" Izzy cocked an eyebrow as he turned to face you. Not seeming all that surprised by your visit.

"If anyone could, it was you two. But piracy doesn't normally let you live long. For years, before I started hearing your names whispered in pubs, I worried you might have died during your first month," you confessed with a small sigh, leaning your forearms against the ship's railing.

"Well, we did it," he hummed, joining you by the railing.

"Just glad you're alive," you gave him a small smile. Even now, you almost couldn't believe that this was Israel standing in front of you. That he was still alive, that you were united again, that he had became the fearsome pirate that he promised you he would become.

"Glad you're alive too," you almost laughed at his quiet admittance. Like being glad your old friend was alive might be a secretive thing. "Figured you would hate me for leaving the way I did," he confessed, looking at you sincerely.

"Izzy...we were kids and Edward was giving you a way out of that place, promises of adventure. Like I said, I would have gone too, didn't blame you for it. Just missed you," you assured him, reaching out to place your hand on top of his, where it lightly gripped the railing.

Izzy sighed as he looked down at your hands before turning his hand over to gently clasp yours. It felt good to have you back by his side. For so many years you where the only person he could trust, the only person he felt was truly on his side. He felt the same way about Edward but not to the same extent. He could trust Edward and Edward could trust him, but that had nothing on the bond you two had had.

Standing there that night, it felt like nothing had changed. Like you were both still young, ready to take on the world together.

"What is Blackbeard planning to do with the crew?" you asked, a little hesitant. Unsure if you wanted to know the fate of your friends.

"Not sure," he confessed, seeming uncomfortable with the prospect of not knowing his captain's plan. "The original plan was the usual raid, at least I thought it was, but he's taken a liking to Bonnet of all fucking people. Your crew should be safe for now," he assured you.

"Will you be heading back to the Queen Anne?" you wondered if he could hear the plea in your question for him to stay, at least a little while longer.

"If Blackbeard does," Izzy nodded curtly. You just nodded in return, hoping your disappointment wasn't too obvious. Clearing his throat, Izzy continued, "there are some openings, we lost a few men against the Spanish."

"Are you inviting me to go with you?" you asked, a smile that Izzy remembered forming on your face. Playful. Cheeky.

"The invitation has always been open," he promised, making your smile soften, turn into something sweet.

"Just don't go anywhere without coming to see me, yeah?" you couldn't make the promise that you would leave with him, the crew had become your family after all, but you weren't ruling it out completely.

Izzy just nodded, giving your hand a small squeeze.

"Right, you have to tell me everything that's happened since you left," you insisted, knocking your shoulder against his.

"That's a lot to tell," Izzy chuckled a little to himself.

"Well, we have all night. Want me to brew some coffee?" you insisted, giving Izzy the best puppy dog eyes you could muster. That always worked when you were younger.

"...yeah, alright," Izzy agreed, making you smile brightly before hurrying off to grab some coffee so you could catch up on everything the two of you had missed.

-

Since Blackbeard and his crew had boarded the Revenge, things had started to settle down. The crew was becoming more comfortable with the changes, and Edward and Stede were officially co-captaining.

Now, the crew, including the captains (and Izzy by captain's orders), found themselves sitting around drinking talking.

"So, what's the story behind the rings?" Lucius turned his attention to you, and Izzy who sat by your side, once there was a lull in the conversation. The question got everyone's attention. Lucius had been watching to ask about the rings since the first day when you had seemed so excited to see Izzy wearing it, apparently the crew were curious too.

Knowing Izzy wouldn't give an answer and that the question was mostly directed at you for that reason, you spoke. "Some fancy ship stopped at our docks and some couple decided to come and slum it with us all for a while. Of course, we robbed them. Izzy actually stole the sapphire one and I stole the emerald. Later that day we swapped them. Silly really, swapping gifts like we hadn't stolen them together, but it was for the best. Green suits Iz."

Izzy grumbled something at the small compliment, hiding the slight colour of his cheeks behind his tankard as he drank.

"You never told me that Izzy," Edward frowned slightly. "assumed it was from your family or something."

"You never asked," Izzy shrugged. He never really hid the story, Edward just never asked about the ring. If he had, he would have told him.

"Well, what else don't I know?" Edward asked, keeping an air of light-heartedness.

"Plenty, I guess," Izzy shrugged again, clearly frustrating his friend with his short answers.

"Like what?" his captain continued to poke and Izzy knew he would have to give him something to chew on.

"I don't know...you don't know my middle name," Izzy hummed thoughtfully.

"You have a middle name?" Edward questioned, Izzy only nodded. Clearly, he didn't wish to share more information. "Well, what is it?"

Izzy just scowled into his drink, letting you know that it was time for you to step in.

"Don't even ask, he hates it. He won't tell you. It took me months to pry it from him," you advised. "I actually quite like it but the first time I called him it he put a knife to my throat," despite the threat, you laughed fondly at the member.

"Better not tell anyone," Izzy grumbled. He did not need Bonnet's crew bugging him with it just because they know he doesn't like it.

"Hey, I vowed on my life to never tell anyone," you reminded him sincerely.

"Hold on," Lucius waved his hands, getting everyone's attention back on him. "Is Izzy the person you raided the merchant ship for rum with?" he suddenly recalled all your little stories about all the trouble you and your friend used to get up too. He couldn't believe it only just clicked that you had been talking about Izzy fucking Hands.

"Yeah."

"And who you robbed people at the docks with?" Black Pete asked,

"Yep."

"And stole apples with?" Frenchie continued.

"Fucking hell, you told them about that?" Izzy groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Sure I did, didn't tell them it was the infamous Israel Hands that I accidently gave a concussion by throwing an apple at his head though," you shrugged.

"I wasn't even looking at you, you caught me off guard," he complained, defending himself.

"Yeah, exactly, I was trying to get your attention," you rolled your eyes, you had thought that was obvious.

"What happened to that old fuck's farm anyway?" Izzy asked, his full attention turned on to you.

"Just before I left, his nephew took it over. Just as strict about starving kids stealing the apples though. Right bastards," you told him with a small huff, never having liked the two men.

"The nephew that had a thing for you?" Izzy asked, his nose scrunching up in distaste.

"Yeah, that one. As if I'd ever be interested in that selfish bastard," you scoffed, shaking your head.

"Was such a twat," Izzy muttered and you laughed in agreement.

Lucius raised an eyebrow as he looked between you both, the way your knees touched as you sat together. Smirking to himself, he took a sip of his drink.

-

It was a quiet day on the ship, the crew effectively avoiding their given chores. You had slipped away, standing at the head of the ship, enjoying the breeze.

Izzy doesn't greet you but you heard him approach, leaning against the ship's railing. Izzy never needed much conversation to enjoy company, in fact he probably preferred it that way.

"Looks like Blackbeard is going to be sailing with us for a while longer," you commented, eventually breaking the comfortable silence.

"Yeah, Stede Fucking Bonnet," Izzy muttered, his nose turning up in distaste.

"You really don't like him, do you?" you asked, slightly amused despite being more fond of your captain.

"Gonna get everyone killed," he insisted. You couldn't completely disagree with that, Stede very obviously lacked experience or expertise just like the rest of the crew, but now Blackbeard and his crew were here. Maybe they could train the captain and crew up, get everyone in fighting shape. Make a real pirate crew out of the Revenge.

"So...does that mean you'll be going back to the Queen Anne?" if Izzy really felt like staying with the Revenge was a suicide mission, why would he stick around?

His hesitation before answering seemed like a good sign, maybe he wasn't already planning his leave. "...would you come with me?" he asked quietly.

It wasn't the first time he had asked you that and you had time to think about your answer. "Probably."

"Probably?" Izzy squinted at you, not understanding what that answer meant.

"I really like it here. Sure, Stede isn't the best pirate captain but he's better than the alternative. I like the crew, they're my friends. But...doesn't feel right to be separated from you again," you admitted before asking, "would you consider staying?"

"It's what I've been leaning towards," he confessed, making your eyes widen slightly. Sure, he hadn't appeared to be taking any action at leaving but he also never hid his distaste for the crew.

Though, maybe you shouldn't be too surprised. Izzy had been following Edward for years now, since they were kids, that probably hadn't changed completely just because Stede and the Revenge came into the picture.

"Come here," Izzy beckoned you, breaking you from your thoughts.

It wasn't like you were particularly far away but you still stepped closer, frowning slightly as you watched him remove the familiar ring from his necktie. You wanted to question him but found the words getting caught in your throat when he lifted the chain from around your neck and removed your ring as well.

"What are you doing?" you finally managed to ask, the small chance of Izzy planning to get rid of the rings making your throat close up.

Izzy didn't answer you, though he did soothe your concerns with his next actions. Without a word, he slipped his ring onto your chain and returned it to its place around your neck. You reached up, clutching the ring curiously, reverently, as he tucked your ring securely on his necktie.

"You said green suits me, guess you'll just have to stay close by then," Izzy explained, reaching out to fiddle with the emerald ring dangling from your neck, brushing your hand out of the way.

"Romantic bastard," you breathed out shakily.

He scoffed but still smiled at you. Maybe he was a little sentimental. Just a little. Maybe a lot when it came to you.

You couldn't help but return his smile, searching his face for...well, you weren't completely sure. But whatever it was, you were pretty sure you found it.

Still smiling, you hooked two fingers under Izzy's necktie, your thumb pressed against the sapphire ring, as you pulled him towards you. He moved without fight or hesitation, letting you press your lips to his, hands instantly lifting and cupping your face as he returned your kiss.

The two of you would very likely be staying on the Revenge for a long time to come, but even if he led you back to the Queen Anne or some other unseen future, you would go willingly. Maybe this time you would leave with him. Maybe this time he would choose to stay for you.

#izzy hands x reader #israel hands x reader #izzy hands #ofmd izzy #ofmd #our flag means death

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knowlesian · 2 years

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emotional freewrite about why i really, really want ed to get his handkerchief back.

i sort of went back and forth on this: there is a read where the handkerchief represents ed aspiring to a very specific kind of manhood and thus emulating stede’s way of being both a gentleman and a pirate at once instead of desiring/charting his own course.

but at the end of the day, i can’t help but feel that read ends up falling into the trap and assuming silk handkerchiefs really do only belong to certain people.

because silk handkerchiefs can exist without the horrors of empire. and i think the silk is not so much ultimately a symbol of ed’s need to look past assimilation into his own sense of authenticity, but ed’s mother’s defiance.

on the surface, and in practical effect, that flashback is certainly not a defiant one. ed’s mother is enforcing the dominant order on herself and her child, for the dominant order so they don’t need to waste the extra time doing it in person.

but if we go beyond, from what she says to the meat of the scene, the view changes. because she could have showed him the silk and said all the same things about who it was meant for; she could have had him feel their own clothing and said ‘this is what we are meant for’ to compare.

there’s another fun beat there, about how to move in the white world but not be white is to always need in some ways to define yourself first by what you are not, but even past there: ed’s mother puts the silk in his hand. she wants him to know the feel of softness, of luxury that doesn’t mean ��for the rich’.

if she believed her words, in the pit of her stomach where the kind of convictions they can’t snuff out live: that would be so, so fucking cruel.

as far as we know: ed’s mother isn’t cruel. not at all.

her words say, we don’t deserve these things. you don’t deserve this one specific thing. her actions say: get to know the feel of fine things. tattoo the sense memory onto your fingertips, let it work down into your bones and course through your bloodstream. feel it, know it. it’s meant for you.

which is part of why i love “you wear fine things well”; though he doesn’t know it, stede is speaking the words in ed’s mother’s heart, years and years after the fact, and i think would she would be happy he did. because he’s not lying, or being condescending, or telling ed what he thinks ed needs to hear. he’s just expressing the truth as he sees it: ed wears fine things well, because ed does. stede has absolutely no idea why ed needs to hear someone say that red silk should have been his all along.

and more than that: that it should have belonged to his mother, too. it should have been her gift to give freely, with words spoken with tongues and a language that never belonged to a white man who wrote his name over their own.

(the fact that knowing only ed’s father’s name erases hers, narratively, is a gut punch so hard i get a little weepy. this show is so fucking smart, sometimes: because yeah. she was there: she was real. she mattered.

and we only have the name of the man who hurt her most. that’s some heavy fucking shit. it’s why i only call her ed’s mother: i think she would have been proud of that name, even if it barely covers a sliver of her humanity and experience on earth. the other option makes me feel a little sick to my stomach.)

so yeah. i would like stede (or hell, maybe somehow lucius???) to bring the silk back: not because he needs stede’s approval or that stede’s opinion makes the difference. but because ed’s mother should have been able to give that gift to her son freely, and she’d want him to have it back and know that it should have belonged to him, free and clear, this whole time.

#our flag means death #truly ed's mom makes me want to gnaw drywall #i want more mary and the widows but also: ed's mom or bust before we wrap this puppy up #i will SETTLE for flashbacks #(they'd make me love settling too these jerks)#but please o please ofmd writers give us ed's mother in the present tense #i need to see them love each other in a world not encumbered by anybody else's definition of that love #i will do anyyyyythiiiiiiing #ofmd spoilers

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chuplayswithfire · 2 years

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okay here it is my true toxic ofmd opinion:

i just think calico jack is neat. i don't love him (have you seen him????) but he is narratively just so fucking neat, and also as a character so fucking neat, because every time you look at him after watching episode eight you have to wonder: how much of this is an act? how much of this is calico jack, performer, in much the same way that edward teach is a natural performer?

because in episode eight we see ed performing the role of 'blackie', wild young pirate extraordinaire, and i've talked about his social chameleoning and how ed plays the roles that he needs to play at any given time, this is a man who is almost never being his most genuine self at any one time but the thing is: we meet calico jack when he is *also* performing a role. he is performing the role of calico jack, wild young pirate extraordinaire. he is very explicitly not being his most genuine self, because he is being the version of himself that can most aggravate stede AND most reassure ed that absolutely nothing about him has changed since the last time they saw each other.

so in much the same way that we don't really ever get to meet edward teach, whole person (though we see a very honest version of him for like a minute in episode 10 before everything goes horribly wrong), we never actually meet calico jack being just calico jack.

and this fascinates me, because the man that we see in calico jack is the wildest version of a pirate frat boy, hazing and laughing and all testosterone and rum fueled wild antics, all the while cleverly manipulating his old shipmate/good friend buddy pal person who he would risk his life for but who he absolutely doesn't have an emotional attachment to because those are gross and weak and weird (aka a fucking friend jack) as well as stede and the entire crew, all the for the explicit sake of saving ed's life.

the entire reason calico jack is out there on that ship causing havoc and being a big dick is because izzy hands got in touch with him to say that ed teach is out there in the direct path of the british fucking navy and he's going to go down if calico jack can't lure him away. and calico jack, a famous pirate in his own right, wanted by the british navy in his own right, goes. we don't ever hear that izzy offered up payment, so for all we know calico jack went out in a dinghy to pull ed from the line of danger for nothing more than the reward of his old shipmate not getting killed by the english.

and he calls izzy sentimental. izzy is at least going to get something out of this - izzy is going to get the revenge, and izzy is going to get stede dead. calico jack, as far as we can tell, is getting absolutely nothing out of this aside from ed's safety...

it's just fucking fascinating. he's such a dick. he's such a fucking dick, passive aggressive, callous with people's feelings and safety, manipulative, and literally dying because he's mad about his friend risking his life for some guy he thinks is a hack.

like, i genuinely think there's a chance he'll come back, just because there's so much potential for him to shed light on ed's past (and he has connections to other pirates that they might want to bring in, like anne bonny and mary read) but even if he doesn't, what we see in him shows is a man who's very much like ed - calculating, working the angles, performative, but the heart in him is hidden by the fact that he's a dick to characters we care about, particularly stede and killing karl - and yet, he's being a dick because he wants to make sure they get the hell out of there, him and blackbeard both, before the english come down on stede and his crew like the fist of god.

and its so interesting. it's fascinating. i don't like jack, but i see in him so much potential, and i'm not like. saying i think fandom needs to obsess over yet another white man, but i do think he's so interestingly twisted, in a way that's at once super toxic and yet utterly distinct from the other toxic mess of piracy in this show, whatever is going on with izzy hands.

#ofmd #our flag means death #calico jack ofmd #ofmd meta #i am SO fascinated by this fucked up funky white man like izzy is one level but izzy is so fucking brutal about it #while calico jack is is such a dick and yet he's obfuscating so hard #the entire time #a complete mystery of a man

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one-strugling-bean · 7 months

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OFMD Random Commentary (Final Thoughts)

Okay so. I finished OFMD in 3 days. Season 2 is right at the door and I'm super excited for it.

While I wait though, I thought "Why not make a huge ass essay about my thoughts on the 1st Season?" And now here we are! And trust me I have tons to say. So without further ado, let's start:

Before anything else, I want to say, I had so much fun. This show was hilarious most of the time while still easily hitting me in the feels when it needed. By the end of the season, I wanted to adopt pretty much everyone and give them whatever they wanted. The romantic relationships weren't born out of thin air (although I think Jim and Olu could've been explored a little more) and the overall vibe of the show was so freaking inviting.

Stede and Ed were very captivating and their scenes together are always so evolving. Their actors convey strong emotions so freaking well. It's like I'm right there, in their heads, as the scenes play out, and I can tell what they're feeling perfectly just by looking at their expressions.

That being said, Ed was a bit harder for me to figure out than Stede. There were a lot of scenes, especially in the beggining, where I was at a loss as to his intentions. But it works in his favor (and the viewers') because Ed is a mysterious person for pretty much every character in the show. It's fun when everyone on screen is as clueless as us. It also contributes to the welcoming vibe of the show - it's like I'm there, just as clueless and scared as everyone else, trying to figure out what exactly makes Blackbeard tick.

And speaking of everyone else! My gosh, I loved the crewmates... I think I even said that at some point in an episode, but my favorite moments of the show were just the crew interacting with each other. Separated, each of them is nice and kinda funny, but together? They gave me the best laughs of the whole show.

It was the little things. Wee John, Roach, and Frenchie messing up a cross sign(?) for Nana, the flag-sewing arts-and-crafts, the rehearsal for the Fuckery, the Fuckery itself- just, everything.

As the episodes pass, and you grow to know the characters - recognize their faces, memorize their names, figure out the traits and places they take in the crew - they also grow to know each other. In the first episode they seem to be pretty distant from each other - acquaintances at best. But by the end you realize that that's changed - and you watched it happen. In every little scene, every funny comment or near-death experience - almost imperceptible on a first watch I think. Most of the time they just seem to be fighting each other. But those bonds do happen, and not just between the romantic pairs but everyone. Even with you, the viewer.

I think that's what makes the last "we talk it through-" "as a crew!" scene, followed by (or before) Lucius reading Stede's journal out loud, so powerful. I don't think I mentioned it in my post of the episode, but it gave me chills. You get this feeling of "we came so far" that just completely warms your heart. And you can see, in each one of their faces that they're all feeling the same thing. They came full circle from the first episode - they're not just a rag-tag group of useless people anymore. They're growing closer to becoming a family, a real crew. And it's fucking amazing.

TL;DR - they figured out the Found Family trope really well. And Found Family is my kind of thing soooo.

But oh well. Nothing can be good forever - especially if that thing is a happy ending in a queer show, so the rest of episode 9 and episode 10 happen. And the feeling of betrayal starts.

From a Gentlebeard/Blackbonnet perspective, the way I see it, Ed calling out the Act of Grace for Stede is the ultimate sacrifice from Ed for Stede. In contrast, Stede abandoning Ed at the dock is the ultimate sacrifice of Ed from Stede. See the difference? What I'm trying to say? I sure hope so, because I'm not sure I do. It just seems right when I say it.

Then Ed goes to the ship and everything goes off the deep end - ft. Izzy Hands being his usual creepy self.

Izzy.... creeped me out honestly. The whole time, not just at the end. From my peak on the OFMD fandom, he seems to be a pretty loved character, but I honestly dislike him a lot. I dunno. He was creepy and awful and did many horrible things for not-that-worthy reasons and I just overall didn't vibe with him. So I guess having him be the one to break Ed felt like a big, personal slap to the face. I dunno. Just wanted to call him every name in the book, you know?

(I also decided to take personally the fact that his name is a very common nickname of my name. I'll never accept to be called Izzy again. The PTSD and rage would be too much.)

Then, of course, we have Lucius's "death". Honestly? I don't think he's dead. He is too iconic to die in the first season. There's no way the writers didn't know Lucius was gonna be a fan favorite. The cliffhanger around his death was 100% planned as a special, last-minute, sadistic gift for the fandom. It will also probably affect something in S2.

That being said, I will only feel rested when I see him alive and well, nestled in Black Pete's arms. I gasped so loud when Ed threw him out of the ship you have no idea. I was so worried. Still am. That's how important his character has become to me. To most people, probably.

(I do think I saw a bit of Lucius's face in a random shot of the S2 trailer. His alleged self is pulling at someone's legs with Frenchie. But do not tell me if I'm right. I've been trying to stay away from trailer dissections.)

Frenchie and Jim also worry me greatly, but they seem to be doing good in the S2 trailer, so that helps. (Not Frenchie conquering his fear of cats by becoming one).

As for everyone else..... God, I was so horrified about their situation until that last scene. Stede coming in the dinghy might as well have been the sighting of an angel (I like to call this feeling the Sanji-backstory-PTSD). I've come to care so much about these characters, how was this show capable of tricking me like this??

Honestly, after all is said and watched, I'm unsure if I'm glad I waited so long to watch it. Because on the one hand, I won't have to wait months and suffer from the cliffhanger like most of you guys did (I feel for you all). On the other, I'm afraid I might've missed a few years of glorious fandom history and events.

I dunno, it's complicated.

(Send me links to all the best fanfics you can find - as long as they're in English and have at least 2000 words I'll take them).

But yeahhhhhhhhhhh, think this might be it for now. I don't know if I'll repeat the Commentary for S2- would you like that? If I get enough responses, Ig I will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But in any case, for now, I close. Hope you had as much reading my reactions as I did watching this show.

Have a nice day! ^^

#i just thought of something #im european #theres a good chance the season wont be available for me on the 5th #.....does anyone know how i can know for sure....?#well #im sad now #boooo #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd random commentary #stede bonnet #edward blackbeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

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alexibeeart · 1 year

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apropos of current events here are my top picks for a Prince song in Our Flag Means Death:

Nothing Compares 2 U "it's been 7 hours and 13 days / since you took your love away"

Diamonds And Pearls "if I could I would give you the world / but all I can do is just offer you my love"

The Most Beautiful Girl In The World "when the day turns into the last day of all time / I can say I hope you are in these arms of mine"

Mountains "but I say it's only mountains and the sea / love will conquer if you just believe"

Erotic City "we can fuck until the dawn / makin love til cherry's gone"

I Wanna Be Your Lover "I ain't got no money / I ain't like those other guys you hang around"

Purple Rain "I never meant to cause you any sorrow / I never meant to cause you any pain"

some more thoughts under the cut to save your dashboard from a long(er) post 💜💜💜💜💜

Nothing Compares 2 U "it's been 7 hours and 13 days / since you took your love away / I go out every night and sleep all day / since you took your love away / since you've been gone I can do whatever I want / I can see whomever I choose / I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant / but nothing, I said nothing can take away these blues" yes surprise if you didn't know this is a Prince song, anyways I could just copy + paste the entire lyrics trust me, cut to Ed in the captain's cabin having his daily cry sesh

Diamonds And Pearls "this will be the day / that you will hear me say / that I will never run away / I am here for you / love is meant for two / now tell me what you're gonna do / if I gave you diamonds and pearls / would you be a happy boy or a girl / if I could I would give you the world / but all I can do is just offer you my love" again? perfection. Stede pledging his love and loyalty to Edward, THE PEARLS, they both need it, it's happening

The Most Beautiful Girl In The World "when the day turns into the last day of all time / I can say I hope you are in these arms of mine / and when the night falls before that day I will cry / I will cry tears of joy cuz after you all one can do is die" not ironically i need this used in 100000% sincerity and it is absolutely being sung about Edward Teach no i will not be taking questions at this time

Mountains "once upon a time in a land called Fantasy / 17 mountains stood so high / the sea surrounded them and together they would be / the only thing that ever made u cry / you said the devil told you that another mountain would appear / everytime somebody broke your heart / he said the sea would one day overflow with all your tears / and love will always leave you lonely / but I say it's only mountains and the sea / love will conquer if you just believe / it's only mountains and the sea / there's nothing greater you and me" this song just makes me so happy it's very joyful and I can picture them sailing out over the horizon together hand-in-hand it's beautiful! could be a fun callback to The Jam Room gag with the whole crew playing together as Frenchie leads, Roach on ye olde pirate trumpet, Lucius on tambourine

Erotic City "we can fuck until the dawn / makin love til cherry's gone / erotic city can't you see / fuck so pretty you and me" CMON LIKE you can't tell me this would not be hilarious and very sexy at the same time which is the correct tone for Our Flag Means Death, the thumping beat could be used for like quick cuts of clothes hitting the floor, hands gripping bedsheets, fullbody silhouettes behind the curtains of [redacted] ... also it could easily be like a montage cutting between things happening around the ship with say a certain Lucius and Pete, Oluwande and Jim, Edward and Stede, etc etc

I Wanna Be Your Lover "I ain't got no money / I ain't like those other guys you hang around / and it's kinda funny / but they always seem to let you down / and I get discouraged / cause I never see you anymore / and I need your love babe yeah / that's all I'm living for yeah" this one's just fun classic early Prince singing about wanting to be your lover! a certified toe-tapper!

Purple Rain "I never meant to cause you any sorrow / I never meant to cause you any pain / I only wanted one time to see you laughing / I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain" THE emotional climax power ballad, PURPLE as the color of Ed's love blossoming, the potential to get the most over-the-top dramatic and romantic scene ever filmed in a rain storm? under a purple fucking sky? hello? it's got a lot going for it but I will be extremely surprised if they manage to both a) get the Estate's permission, and b) be able to pay the $$$ royalties for this one

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 wishlist #Prince #purple rain will be expensive as hell like more than the chain do you understand #they all will but hes worth it #long post #im floating on cloud nine right now about this please understand #Prince Rogers Nelson #prince and the revolution #prince and the new power generation

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bringinghometherain · 6 months

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okay but like

Ed fell in love with Stede because he was different, because he wasn't like all the other pirates. And when they're dispatching Ned Low he's pretty openly asking/telling Stede not to do it, telling him that he can never go back once he does this, but also for Ed it's watching the man he fell in love with become just like all the other pirates. That's gotta be scary.

But he still loves him and he wants to check to make sure Stede's okay, and it's clear that Stede's not really okay, but neither is Ed, and they each just need something to hold onto in that moment, they each love this other man and they're each feeling unsettled about what's just happened and so they fall into each other's arms. You can see it in Ed a little when he first appears at the captain's cabin and is like "I too was messed up after my first, well my first was my dad, but--" like maybe Edward is almost as messed up over Stede killing a guy on purpose as Ed was about killing a guy on purpose all those years ago. But the look Ed has in that brief shot where Stede is shirtless and closing the curtains? He's unsure! He looks like he's not a thousand percent sure about what they're about to do, but he wants to feel good, and he wants Stede to feel good, and god but they've waited a long time for this.

AND THAT'S ALL SET TO LA VIE EN ROSE IN THE ORIGINAL FRENCH! Which is a song about how your lover makes you feel like all your troubles are gone and the whole world is a beautiful shade of rose. Is that what they're both hoping for here? Is that what Stede achieves and Ed tries so desperately to convince himself of?

And Ed's still thinking about death and piracy the next morning, because he tosses his whole Blackbeard getup overboard first thing. And when Stede says something about "next time we're in a near-death situation" his heart breaks a little more, because to him it feels like the man he fell in love with is going to lose his tenderness, his softness, two of the things that drew Ed to him in the first place.

So he's already feeling conflicted over all that when they step foot on the Republic and it becomes clear that Stede is a hero, a hero for killing Ned Low. And Stede loves it. Of course he does! He's been working towards this the whole show! But it's another signal to Ed that the man he fell in love with is slipping away, is just going to become another ruthless killer who doesn't have friends and is just trying to fuck other pirates over. That's terrifying! That's heartbreaking! So of course he's spooked, he's going to create some distance, because he can't have his heart broken again by this man, he just can't.

And then the whole harbor blows up.

#ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 spoilers #I'm so feral about this #I too have trust issues Ed I get it

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prettybluelites · 6 months

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Thoughts: Fun and Games

Started this last night, accidentally deleted it, got annoyed and went to bed.

Take two.

Yes Stede, the head butt was absolutely on purpose, but not because it was you, rather because a fearsome pirate woke up from a traumatic-on-every-level experience with someone hovering over him, six inches from his face. Ed would have head butted anyone on sheer instinct.

Fascinated by Buttons choosing to check in with Ed about his gravy basket experience, and you can tell Buttons sorta understands that Ed did have a vision, even if Ed doesn't say as much. Also, Buttons has been there a few times himself? Can you get there only through massive physical injury or can you like take a vision quest?

All well and good that the unicorn can't hear without a head, but probably a bigger selling point for Izzy is that it can't talk back

The crew's at a deadlock? Really? They sounded pretty firmly in favor of banishment. Did Stede just want to make sure Izzy got to have a say?

How many takes did they have to do with the sandwich, and was "sammie" scripted or improvised? I need to know.

On a serious note, how Stede's heart must have hurt to see Ed look at him like that

How fucked up and re-traumatizing for Ed to have his lil bunny friend snatched out from under his nose mere seconds after telling it that it would always be safe with him

Did I mention how the costumes keep getting better and better? Minnie Driver looks absolutely spectacular

In Stede's place I would have been scared to death to accept Anne and Mary's dinner invitation, solely on the basis of their predatory grins, but I guess love is stronger than all that

Also stronger than Ed pelting him with backhanded comments all evening

Love the incongruity of Roach talking about reminding the other crew of their value and safety while brandishing a cleaver

Whatever either Stede or Ed was expecting from the evening, it sure wasn't this

"Actually, I was planning on killing him myself" - subtext: still might if sufficiently provoked

Stede's expression when Ed says he regretted shaving his beard - so like his expression when Ed finds him on the beach in Ep9

Taika is so good in this whole scene. The tiny, tiny change in his expression when Stede says he likes his new beard, it's like he's processing that this is happening and willing himself to remain objective. And then Stede asks about the gravy basket and it snaps him back to reality and causes him to turn abrupt/short when he says he's fine. Good stuff.

Not gonna lie, I kinda hate the scene with the pinata and the cake. I get the point, but it feels clunky to me. I do appreciate everyone struggling with the concept of a safe space, lol, and I would love to know what exactly the "fucked up sleeping arrangements" are.

Another costuming note: Lucius is wearing the hell out of those high-waisted trousers.

I personally would not have described Stede as an "artsy outsider," but from Mary's POV I kinda get it, "artsy" sounds a bit derisive, like artsy-fartsy, and outsider sounds like...well, not a pirate. If that's Ed's type, I'd love to know about past outsiders he's been involved with. Likewise, I'm fascinated by Ed calling Stede "fragile" - he's clearly not meaning it as weak, but as fine/delicate. He says it so fondly. :)

Offering relationship advice by saying that everything will be rosy for a while and then eventually, inevitably, it's all going to go to hell and you're going to be left attempting murder to "keep things fresh" is, ah, kind of upsetting. Anne's tactic is upsetting too but at least "let's make them jealous" isn't explicitly violent.

It's really important to me that Roach (along with Fang) is one of the first to try to help Izzy up, same as he was the first to approach Buttons when Karl got killed. He really is tender as hell. :)

In my previous post, I mentioned how Ed still doesn't know that Mary wasn't the whole reason Stede didn't come to the dock - and I want to know, what's going to set off Stede's PTSD? We've seen the crew grappling with theirs and Ed is a walking ball of it. Stede's kinda been skating over everyone else's damage and he hasn't really even touched his own. He says he panicked, and admits he went back to his wife, but the part where he was abducted at gunpoint and nearly murdered is a pretty key part of the narrative. Taking a wild guess that's going to come up when we meet Prince Ricky again. And it's going to lead us into the Season Finale which SHIT I do not want to think about yet.

Others have probably already connected these dots but I'm obsessed with the fact that the blanket that Ed is hiding under so strikingly resembles the Battle Jacket. It should be renamed the Ed Teach is Lovable Jacket.

I just love me some everything about this scene. I love Stede's confidence in making himself heard and I love how throughout their talk Ed comes out from under the blanket, then sits up, then turns toward Stede by degrees, and finally gives that tiny, tiny, sad smile. And the dialogue is beautiful and heartfelt and Rhys and Taika just take it to a wonderful place.

My blood runs cold on Ed and Stede's behalf when Anne and Mary bust in on them, honest to god.

Oh, Izzy. *sniffle*

Ed and Stede both so adorkable negotiating where Ed's going to spend the night

I was honestly not crazy about the whole avian transmogrification thing at first, but the more I've thought about it, the more I like it. Buttons is completely confident in his ability to pull it off and in his reason for doing it - which is, of course, love. His pointing out to Ed that love requires change/growth is just a sweet touch. Was Buttons a "good" first mate? Who knows? Was he a decent human and apparently a legit vessel of magic? I think yes.

Also, if you're going to write a character out of your story, changing them into a bird is a bang-up way to do it. No klutzy off-screen death for Buttons.

Also also, I think it's worth remembering that Zheng uses carrier birds. I predict avian espionage in the future. And no, gulls were not used as carrier birds, but we all know Djenks has been hand-wavy about bigger things.

Izzy...is himself again. Also, loving the casual acknowledgement that there's been at least one other person on the Revenge this whole time who could read :P

My week is going to be insane so I might do Episode 5 tonight and get it out of the way. Thanks for reading!

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #fun and games #ofmd s2e4

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remypat · 7 months

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Theories for Episodes 4 & 5

If you haven't watched the first 3 episodes, beware! Spoilers up ahead!

Ok, so Blackbeard tried to murder literally everyone on the revenge. There is not a single person person aboard that would be cool with him just hanging about (with the exception of Stede ofc). My thinking is that for episode 4:

-the crew will be begging Stede to maroon Ed, or just leave him at their next stop, Stede's gonna be all, 'i can change him, we can make this work'

-the Bell comes into play here because Ed is alive and terrifying and his presence must be known at all times. When he is near, everyone flinches, Fang nearly cries and that sets everyone off.

-Ed isn't going to want to stay aboard the revenge anymore. He would be happy to leave especially with Stede being so close by, it's just a stab wound to the heart everytime they're near, which brings me to my next point

-We all know the reunion is gonna be awkward as hell and Stede's heart is gonna fucking shatter, because yeah they love each other and yeah, Stede literally brought Ed back from the purgatory, but as if Ed's gonna just be straight up with him about it. Nah, he's gonna downplay it all and they are gonna pine for each other and it's gonna drive EVERYONE INSANE

-Just imagine it, the pining, Stede and Ed wistfully glancing at one another from across the ship, Ed turns away, Stede looks down all sad, Ed looks back at him, you can hear the swell of their hearts, its gonna be ridiculous, it'll be very akin to the "Ohmygod this is happening"

-Auxiliary Wardrobe reveal!!! Since only Ed and Stede know of it's existence, I am willing to bet that they spend some time talking in there but what is the state of the room? Is it pristine, untouched and unsoiled? Is it Ed's personal crying hole? Has he been sleeping in there, running his fingers across silks and throwing stuff around in fits of anger? I'm not too sure, but it'd be sweet if it's almost as Stede left it. Ed already destroyed so much of Stede's but this was something he also loved.

-Mary and Anne!!! The crew of the revenge decide to port and lo and behold, Ed knows where to go and finds his old friends! I have a feeling that after that whole awkward dinner double date, Ed will finally tell Stede that he isn't coming back aboard the revenge. That he doesn't want them to be like Anne and Mary just doing crazy shit to make their romance interesting. They'll see the red flags in their own relationship and well

-Ed leaves...

Something interesting that I noticed upon my rewatch of the teaser for episodes 4 & 5 is that when Stede is talking to Izzy and is basically asking him to teach him all that he knows, Stede says, "Blackbeard did say you taught him everything you know" Blackbeard??? Why isn't he calling him 'Edward'??? Just an interesting lil detail.

-the curse episode is gonna be goofy as hell and a much needed palate cleanser after all the angsty shit we've witnessed.

-another lil detail from the teaser, Stede has made they captain's cabin his again! He's getting dressed up, he has fixed the furniture or gotten new stuff, and it's very telling to me that Ed is gone . Izzy is even sitting in the cabin, entertaining Stede's antics .

-So, Izzy will become (somewhat) loyal to stede. After all, he saved their lives,didn't take out his anger upon them even after they admitted to killing Ed. No, Stede is flourishing as a captain and Izzy sees the potential to serve under Stede, and now that Ed's gone what else really is he to do?

-Izzy and Stede become (somewhat) besties!!! They train together, probably mourn the love of Ed together too. The crew grows back together and it's fun times again! But Stede still misses Ed deeply..

OMG actually what if they do indeed 'break up' so when we see Stede back at Spanish Jackie's, he's gone full 20-something-year-old, and is all 'Yeah, see this Ed? I'm having a great time without you! I don't feel even a sliver of sadness since we broke up, I'm gonna get absolutely trashed, I don't miss you at all-'

I'm gonna scream into the next year if that happens.

Anywho, these are just my predictions! Literally had to write 'em down because we still have 3 more days until we get our next episodes and I'm losing my mind!

Tell me what you guys think!

#our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd

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dykevillanelle · 2 years

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a definitive list of omfd characters, from most to least fuckable

my qualifications: lesbian, impeccable taste, been rotating pirates & friends in my head for 5 solid weeks

Ed Teach - everything about him is pure distilled Fuckability and Gender. i knew i would sell my soul to him the moment he came onscreen. he is sooooo babygirl

Jim Jimenez - vico ortiz ruin me challenge. the scene where they're fighting with jackie...powerful homoeroticism, i really enjoyed it

Spanish Jackie - ive been a leslie jones stan since 2016 and the copious amounts of red velvet just made me fall deeper in love. with twenty husbands you know she's a freaque

Mary Bonnet - ms bonnet you deserve to have it laid down So right. i know you have free real estate guy but i think one of your widows support group ladies or me could do it better

Oluwande Boodhari - every time he comes onscreen i legally have to say "oluuuuuuu" while making heart eyes. 11/10 would be a very attentive lover

Roach - absolutely insane little guy, my best friend. his query of "how does he kiss?" re: the hook-headed man tells me that he's a romantic at heart.

Frenchie - everyone loves a musician who schemes and steals fancy suits during a raid. would entertain me with theories about crystals and demons. <3

Evelyn Higgens - i couldn't handle her but i wish i could

Nana - i'm not sure if it's blasphemous to include a nun on a fuckability list but if any nun fucks, it's this one.

Fang - hot topic belt boy!!!! he DOES have stunning cheekbones and i adore him.

Abshir - scammer king. he would treat me right <3

Ivan - i want more ivan in s2. his vertical stripes and black vest are so fun and flirty! 8/10

Lucius - the sideburns really don't do it for me but he'd write pretty great poetry afterward, so i'll allow it

Stede Bonnet - right smack in the middle of the list. he's extremely mid but i will confess Liberated Stede taking his boat out onto the water in 1x10 has a certain je ne sais cock

Wee John Feeney - he would be so gentle and i love his star face tattoos. interior design king, excellent hair

Black Pete - we stan a guy whose love language is gifts. im gonna need him to show some loyalty, though

Nathaniel Buttons - i think buttons doesn't know what sex is. you know the elbow sex thing in rocky horror? that's his bag

The Swede - the whole teeth-coming-out thing really disturbed me on a primal level. this is nothing against him personally, our little nordic angel

[the point of unfuckability, all others ranked only for completion's sake]

19. Alfeo de la Vaca - good taste in citrus, bad oral hygiene. 1/10 would not recommend to a friend 20. Doug - per my girlfriend: "he's not so much rancid as he is utterly sexless". i think this is true even tho canonically he treats mary right. 21. Izzy Hands - when i initially conceived of this list, izzy was at the bottom, but somehow there are characters more rancid than he is. izzyfuckers DO NOT INTERACT this racist little rat man can choke but not in a way that he would like 22. Antoinette / Gabriel - i do love kristen schaal but. yuck 23. Badminton twins - would probably find some way of accidentally killing themselves and that just sounds like a lot of hassle. 24. King George - i think it just goes to show how bad jack and geraldo are that i'm putting them below a literal british monarch. but. this man is disgusting. 25. Calico Jack - he's never thought about another person's desires in his life. probably smells like a distillery and never learns your name. fuckable only for someone with intense self-loathing 26. Geraldo - you know how people talk about getting the ick? this man is one huge ick. i thought this even before i found out fred armisten didn't treat natasha lyonne like the queen she is. i would rather fling myself from the cliffs of dover than even consider touching this man

#our flag means death #ofmd #angel.txt #discourse on this post and die by my sword. it's joques

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