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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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Huh.

Well, this is not the next episode reaction you were expecting, but a while back, in the middle of the night, while I was ready to cry from working on a pharmacology paper, out of nowhere, Youtube threw up Street Dance of China S3 Ep1 at me. And yeah. I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show. (There are enough SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal that I feel there’s no point denying this.)

So – no, actually, wait. FIRST of all, I do NOT believe the “towel vote” we ended up being given for the opening routines from the four captains. That was the most blatant bit of bullshit chicanery I’ve seen in my LIFE, and I say this as a person with a ton of SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal, and I also say this not because Wang Yibo ended up last (well, not entirely), but because I saw Wallace Chung’s routine. As someone closer in age to him than to the other three captains, I have to give him props for trying, but come on, man. The critique that Yibo got from random contestants – if the subtitles are to be believed, so I realize this needs a grain of salt - basically boiled down to “it was too good for the stage lighting.” :hands: Also, I saw your face at the reveal, Wallace, and you were as shocked as I was. No way you got more towels/votes than Wang Yibo. Not unless there’s some super wild undercurrent of nostalgia propping you up, which, I guess could happen, because literally all I know about pop culture in China, current or otherwise, is filtered through Tumblr and Youtube, both notoriously suspect, but … anyway. There’s got to be a TON of behind-the-scenes manipulation going on for Yibo to be rock-bottom with last pick of teams but then also to end up with THAT pool of possibles. Are you kidding me with this?

ANYWAY, what I wanted to say is that I actually really like Wang Yibo here, and it’s not just because he’s the only captain I have even a sliver of familiarity with, and it’s not just because Lan Wangji was banging Wei Wuxian. I do realize all of this is influenced by whatever edit they’ve decided to give a particular captain or contestant, but I’m impressed with the way Yibo immediately starts team building by getting his group into a warmup, getting them dancing together, getting them dancing with him before they have to worry about dancing for him. (I mean, come on, Jackson Wang. The way to get people to stop being nervous is not to say “Stop being nervous! It will make you fuck up!”) The way Yibo immediately recognized and responded to his group’s concerns about that one dude copying someone else’s routine probably also bought him a lot of return investment. He’s dressed to work it, in his sweats and his flannel (what IS that fake-leather TAC vest and random leg holster-looking thing, Jackson Wang?). He’s convincing me he really loves to dance, he can’t hold still while he watches the contestants, he’s wandering over into other captains’ turf when it sounds like there’s a dancer performing who he might like to see, he’s being the best Yibo he can be, and I’m grooving along, wind in my hair, totally down for this ride. He’s also adorable at the beginning when all the other captains are like, my goal for this season is to slaughter the competition and dance on their graves! And he’s like, well, I’d like to … make some friends? And learn some new stuff? I don’t know if the perpetual Humble Student schtick is natural or persona, or whether it’s general or specific to dancing, but it’s working for you, my dude. This is also made better (read: ironic), by the fact that it’s immediately before the towel reveal, when he flips over to utter disbelief and gets all sulky for a while over the “fact” that his dance routine got the least votes.

Also, OH WAIT. This is where that clip of Yibo dancing with his crew ALL OVER HIM came from that I saw floating around a few months ago, isn’t it? You’re telling me those guys had never danced together before and had like, three minutes to throw together that routine? I’m even more impressed than before. Meanwhile, the towels symbolize courage and challenge, Mr. Emcee? OK, fine, cheesy reality show blah blah whatever. Can we get to the dancing now?

I’m going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because it got super long, because it turns out, when you watch in 5-minute increments, it takes two and a half weeks to get through a single episode, but you actually can see and have opinions on all 5,328 contestants, plus every single one of the captains’ battles. Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince myself this is not going to be another series of episode reactions, but 1) I do have the benefit of not having a ton of hometown media giving me a next-day play-by-play, so even though this is six months old, everything’s a surprise; 2) I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show; and 3) it’s easy to watch in 5-minute increments between researching drug interactions in hypothetical hypertensive patients with stable ischemic heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and seasonal allergies. So, I guess we’ll see. It’ll be slow going, though, because I don’t ever have two and half hours to sit down and watch an ep cover-to-cover – if it happens, it will likely keep happening in 5-minute increments. Meanwhile, there is a metric shit-ton of nattering below the cut, so caveat lector. No, seriously, I kept adding to this little by little until it became a monster. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

OK, I am generally out of my depth here, as this is not at all my area of dance not-really-expertise, but some reactions:

Team Wang Yibo: I can see why he didn’t want to choose between Colin and Dian Men – Colin might have been a touch better technically and a better showman, but Dian Men didn’t seem to have a single wasted move – but, also, my dude. Yibo. You maybe should look a little bit less stunned and overwhelmed by the mere presence of Colin, it’s giving me ideas about your taste in men. Continuing with the powerhouses, I probably shouldn’t even attempt to critique Klash, but I did feel like he was a bit stiff in some of his footwork; that final V kick, though, shit, that’s what having that kind of upper-body strength is for. Bouboo … I mean, excellent flexibility and control, of course, but mainly I’m just terribly amused that Yibo got last pick of teams but somehow ended up with the guy who’s literal world champion, and who’s just as useful for getting into the other captains’ heads – without even trying – as he is for his talent. And then there’s a montage of Yibo giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you cannot keep up this pace. There are still too many dancers to see, and you don’t have that many towels. AAANNNND Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Jackson Wang: I do like Gai Gai, although that may be influenced by the fact she’s working in the twilight area between hip-hop and contemporary that I have more familiarity with - but also, I suspect she’s pretty good in her genre. I thought Xiao Jie was inconsistent and didn’t stick the landing on his initial attempt, so I have to give you that hesitation, Jackson, even though you’ve somehow ended up the villain in my inner narrative for this show, for no particular reason I can yet discern. Maybe it’s that you’re the direct competition for Yibo’s team in the towel battles. Good enough. Anyway, Xiao Jie definitely stepped up his game for the battle with Bingo, so I can kind of see why both of them got a towel, but we’re not even halfway through this, and most of y’all are giving away towels like you have an endless supply. Yang Kai is a fucking menace with fantastic musicality, and I’m just gonna say it and take the fallout - I think he gave a better performance first time out of the gate than any of Yibo’s powerhouses did. Whatever power Klash has got, whatever skill Bouboo has got, Yang Kai feels more explosive and engaging, at least in these initial showings. He’s going to be one to beat, I’d hug him too, if he was on my team and was going to help me WIN. Yibo’s probably lucky that happened during his little stroll over to check out the competition, so that he can see they’re definitely competitive and be prepared for it. Also, Jackson, I have to admit - that face you made when Chao really kicked in? That was the same face I made, because wt actual f, you have a literal secret weapon – secret because he CAME FROM NOWHERE and NO ONE EVEN KNOWS him, how is that even possible, how did he get that good – fluid, creative, controlled, incredible musicality - without anyone having any idea who he even is? And then there’s a montage of Jackson just giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you need to slow down. You can’t just be like, “THEY LOVE DANCE WITH ALL OF THEIR WHOLE HEARTS!!!!1111!!!!11!” I get it, but everyone there loves dance with all of their whole hearts, and there are not enough towels to send all of them on to the next round. ANNNND, Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).

Team Lay Zhang: lol at how diplomatic you’re being, Lay Zhang – your team’s fierce roar startled you, OK. At this point, I suspect you’re the street most likely to have a knife fight break out before this is all over. I do like Alex, I think he’s got a lot of interesting, super-clean details in his moves, and he’s engaging - I cannot BELIEVE you made him battle that dude whose moves were so mushy, Lay Zhang, it leaves me doubting your ability to judge this thing. At first I thought maybe you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted to see Alex freestyle, but then you actually said something about both dancers being equal, and my estimation of you plummeted, and also sadly, my sound dropped out for the actual battle, including the part where the clearly inferior dancer fell over and then accidentally POPPED ALEX ONE IN THE EYE, and I TOLD YOU SO. I do agree it’s a good idea to make dancers in the same genre do some battling, so you can kind of plan out your towels and put together a team with broad strengths, instead of giving out towels like you’re making it rain for the first 20 contestants, and then you have 1,375 more people to get through, with 3 towels left, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to be doing, so it’s nice that at least one of you guys is thinking – if not actually acting - strategically. That was clearly not even a contest, though, GIVE ALEX HIS TOWEL and send him to the next round. Xiao Bao is hilarious, with his concern that his team captain, who’s into krump, which is “beating,” isn’t going to appreciate his waacking, which is “slapping.” I also don’t know a whole lot about waacking, so thanks for the primer, Xiao Bao, and don’t worry, your performance is just as engaging for those of us who don’t know what we’re watching as you are generally. You deserve that towel for your ability to interact with and engage your audience, alone. Lingo is a good solid performance, although he’s got his team captain strategizing edited over some of it, and here’s the thing: we are 1:56:00 into this, at this point, with another half hour to go, and all of you are starting to disappear into the sea of dancers who are very good at what you do, but at generally the same level? Anyway, Lingo, I approve of your ability to interact with your audience (read: your captain) to ensure engagement, too, so keep that up. Annnd, we actually haven’t seen that much of you guys, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

Team Wallace Chung: I’m glad Su Lian Ya insisted on performing, I thought she started off slow but warmed up, and that ending was creepily fantastic and had me spontaneously grinning at the screen in delight. Then we lose sight of this group for a really long time, actually. We go back to find Wallace putting through a couple of urban dancers who we barely see, but who apparently claim to have some choreography experience, and he really likes that. TI shows up, and they’re solid, but honestly, not as good in this performance as they were in some of the stock footage the show threw up to introduce them, but Wallace remains super-excited about the idea of choreography and sends at least choreographer Zhang Jiang Peng through to the next round. And then, we really haven’t seen that much of you guys, either, which maybe doesn’t bode well, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).

FOOTNOTE 1, aka TOWEL BATTLE ONE, Team Yibo vs. Team Jackson, 3V3 freestyle: First of all, I have to say, I love Yibo - Mr. I Just Wanna Make Some Friends And Have Some Fun - being all, “I have three crappy white towels I’m stuck with for coming in last place that I can’t use to send dancers to the next round and that I DO NOT DESERVE, and I am getting BACK the colorful towels that ARE RIGHTFULLY MINE. I am coming for whoever is in my way.” Team Yibo is Bouboo, Klash, Dian Men, and OK, given what we’ve seen so far, that’s the safe choice, but honestly, I think we’re just taking some things for granted right now, and I’m not sure they actually have given the best performances so far. Yeah, I said it. Team Jackson is Yang Kai, Chao, and Xiao Jie, and … ok, on that last one, I think you probably could have substituted Bingo, but all right. Yang Kai is a definite yes. Chao will be great if he can stay out of his own head and not psych himself out, but given what we’ve seen so far, he’s an obvious pick. First round, Yang Kai vs. Klash, and Yang Kai is still a fucking menace, with super lines. Klash definitely stepped up his game for the battle, and I can’t get over the upper body strength he’s got, to get that kind of airy bounce in his moves, but to be honest, I can’t even be mad the first round went to Yang Kai and Team Jackson. Second round, Yang Kai is still … y’all, the beautiful lines from this guy in his poses, I can’t get over them, but I think he doesn’t have the stamina, his footwork is getting sloppy. Bouboo also steps up his game for an actual battle, his fluidity and control is amazing, and yeah, round to Team Yibo. Round three, Xiao Jie gives it a decent effort, but the polish isn’t there; meanwhile Bouboo is still in champion mode, and I was kind of surprised this was a split vote and went to another round. Xiao Jie absolutely surprised me, coming back stronger on his second try, although I suppose a more familiar genre helped, but Bouboo continues in champion mode. Round four, Chao looks like he’s going to throw up right before he steps out there, and then as soon as the music starts, it’s like, he doesn’t even think. The music just moves him. I feel like his dance vocabulary is more limited than Bouboo’s, though, and Bouboo’s flow is amazing at this point, so I feel like the judges just want to drag this out and see more dancing when we go to one more round. Strong effort all around, but yeah, round four and two towels to Team Yibo. I can’t really complain about that. I do feel like Yibo’s powerhouses have been holding back until now, though, and I’m not sure how I feel about THAT.

FOOTNOTE 2, aka TOWEL BATTLE TWO, Team Zhang vs. Team Wallace, 3V3 w/ captain: lol, Team Zhang really wants someone to pick the Sailor Moon song because they know Xiao Bao and his waacking will tear it up. Anyway, Team Zhang includes Lingo and Xiao Bao, who does not get his Sailor Moon song and continues to be hilarious in his disbelief about being chosen to participate in this battle, when he’s not looking almost as sick as Chao from Team Jackson before HIS performance. Team Wallace includes Su Lian Ya – and honestly, despite how I’m getting ready to bag on him for the entire rest of this battle recap, I like that Wallace put one of his female dancers up there for the battle - and some dude named Ba that they haven’t given us any footage of, up ‘til now, at least that I can remember and who I … don’t even know has been formally given a towel and sent on to the next round, yet? Oh wait, he must have, because there’s talk in the pause for choreography about somehow using the towels during the battle. Wallace relies on Su Lian Ya and Zhang Jiang Peng to choose Ba, and then Ba ends up choreographing a lot of the performance, at least from the edit we see. I continue to feel you may be in over your head, Wallace. This feeling … is not assuaged by your performance in the first round, which is fine, but not really up to the level of almost anyone whose name I’ve bolded so far in this entire recap. Also, using the towels was a cute idea, but it doesn’t translate well, and Team Wallace has a lot of wasted time throwing the towels around instead of actually. You know. Dancing. Lingo gets a credible solo during Team Zhang’s performance, and even though Xiao Bao is clearly lost during a good bit of his backup dancer duties, he manages not to throw up, which – given this team’s general skill level – should be enough to give them the first round, EXCEPT SOMEHOW Team Wallace gets the point from the judges, who then try to justify this inexplicable decision by saying Team Wallace had better interaction, I guess because of the hot mess with throwing the towels around, but adding that Team Zhang was more scattered, which what? More scattered than the hot mess with the towels? I’m not buying this. I can’t tell if they’re propping up Wallace or fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, but I’m having bad acid flashbacks to the many and varied ways dance show judges will try to gaslight you, telling you that things you just saw with your very own eyes did not actually happen when it’s right there! On camera! Visible, despite whatever edit bs you’re pulling! ANYWAY, they’re definitely managing to fuck with not only Lay Zhang’s head, but Xiao Bao’s, and Xiao Bao still doesn’t seem to have his choreography down, but they manage to pull it together enough to take the second round, which to be honest is kind of a muddled mess on everyone’s part. The only one who really stands out to me on this go’round is Su Lian Ya, but OK, Team Zhang might have had it slightly more together as a unit. And then, yeah, OK, I think they were fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, because we then find out that, holy shit, the song the show powers-that-be chose for the tie-breaking third round is that gd Sailor Moon song, and we can all see the writing on the wall. Poor Team Wallace is no match for Xiao Bao, who frankly, carries this entire round on his shoulders without breaking a sweat and barely needs any backup dancers to do it. There’s some ridiculously dramatic reveal of scoring, with the judges dragging out their decisions like this was any actual contest - I’m beginning to suspect that some of them grew up with Wallace Chung posters on their bedroom walls - but finally, round and towel to Team Zhang.

Cut to a little bit of Next Time On, and wow, the first two-and-a-half-hour episode is over, and we aren’t finished with the initial round yet. It’s gonna be Christmas before I make it halfway through this season.

#street dance of china #sdoc episode reax #should i put yibo in the tags for this?#sure #i guess #wang yibo #anyone else?

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

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HELLOOOOO

Okay first things first- is everyone having an awful fucking January or what???

(My family has got covid for the 2ND TIME???? last time I was the only one who didn’t have it and had to take care of 4ppl but this time they have infected me too- what kind of WEAKASS GENES AM I CARRYING. I want a refund on this family istg sksksks)

Lexi’s chapter was an absolute bangerzzzz bro- I didn’t send reax because no energy) BUT LEXI AND LIV FINALLY- *inserts let’s go lesbian* meme. Also PRESSURE!!!! *chefs kiss*

NOW-

DAVID ALEXANDER BEAUCHAMP?????DAVID ALEXANDER BEAUCHAMP?????? HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME LOVE THIS BOY EVEN MORE-

I don’t know how to send reax- it’s David, I love every part of it

Alec and David finally bonding lmao we love to see it

LB fam breakfast scenes supremacy only. sksksks not David calling Magnus’s bluff

MAVID- I love them so much I’m so many feels I can’t believe this is ending I’m not crying. Max dirtying them on purpose >>>>>

Magnus and David’s talk- aaaaaa protecc Max pls. And Magnus go fckn talk to your child bebe pls

Alec taking the letter but not knowing the language this joke never gets old

Rafe sending a kiss for Magnus- they are so soft pls

Herondale-Fairchilds: just them

“No one is scared of you. Only you are”- SOMEONE HOLD ME

that immortality thing had me by the throat ngl-

Jealous David >>

David and Jackson are goals

That piano scene was so soft. Also I need to see Alec find out about David’s name

Coraline and David. I have no words. it was so beautifully written. when David held her in the end- I’m still finding it hard to process that David is a whole grown ass adult now lol. he truly is the best boy

Immortality- bruh when this shit gonna leave the tsc fandom. but also David’s decision makes sense too. imagine having to deal with ppl for an eternity- could not be me.

AYAN?? MAAM?? you invented a word for MAVID??? I-

your note >>>>>

I never thought I’d love an OC this much but David is superior. never been happier to be wrong. I will miss him so much though. I’m tears. ILY thank you for writing such a beautiful character.

(p.s. I'm thinking of doing smth for David but Idk what cause I lack the artistic skills I can only create memes- but I will think of smth and let you know soon)

Okay bye. Take care and stay safe Dani <3

me thinking of my life without David's POV

January is a piece of it. Fuck January.

I hope you feel better very soon. Please get some rest and take care of yourself.

And I hope David made you feel a lil better <3

#lbaf

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kelyon · 4 years

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Nephila Chapter 4: Anatomy

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Happy Halloween and happy one-year anniversary to the Rumbelle fandom’s favorite spider-porn! In this chapter, a pregnant Belle and the man-spider father of her child are finally reunited.

Through the darkness of an underground cavern, shafts of light poured down like gold. Belle French was lifted into one of those beams, held up by the arms of an unspeakable monster. A monster with eight black eyes and dripping fangs and the happiest smile she had ever seen.

“Belle!” it cried. “Belle, you are back!”

The creature seemed so sincere, so full of joy to see her again. In spite of her better instincts, Belle found herself moved. Her heart swelled and she smiled back at him.

“Yeah,” she answered. “I’m here again. I-I didn’t know if you would remember me.”

The ridge over his top eyes furrowed. “But you are Belle,” he said. “You are mate. Forever.”

“Forever?” she squeaked. But she was more surprised than scared. “You didn’t mention that last time.”

The monster didn’t reply to that. Instead he slowly lowered his arms so that his head was directly in front of Belle’s stomach. He pressed one ear against her abdomen, moving her body around until he pushed against her bump. Then he rested. And listened.

“Hang on a second.” Belle pulled up her baggy tee shirt away from his face. The creature cocked its head in curiosity. She adjusted the fabric so the hem was now bunched up below her bra and her stomach was exposed. When she was done, it resumed the position. His face was cool and rough against her belly. The bristles of the chelicerae around its mouth tickled her as he moved. He was searching for something.

When he found it, he said, “Ah!” His whole body seemed to reax--his shoulders slumped and all of his legs went loose.

Tentatively, Belle reached out to put her hand on his head. She stroked the hair--and it was hair, wavy and soft and brown. It reached down to his chin.

“What do you hear?” she whispered.

“Young,” he sighed. “Our young.”

“Really?” her eyes welled up. “Ours?”

“Yes.” The creature’s arms shifted. Now he wasn’t just holding her, he was hugging her. Tender and sweet and loving. He was happy she was back. He was happy she was pregnant.

Belle had never thought that anyone would be happy that she was going to give birth to a monster. But he wanted this baby. He loved this baby, before it was even a full-fledged bump. She had done the right thing coming here. This creature, the father, would do anything for her or their young. She felt that truth in her bones. For just a moment, everything was okay.

Then she started thinking.

A million questions spun around in her mind: How could this thing hear an embryo inside her body? Was it just registering the fetal heartbeat? What was that heartbeat? Was it a healthy rate? Was the baby really okay? What else would he be able to tell her about her pregnancy? Wait--had he been expecting her to come back pregnant?

She pushed its head away from her stomach and slapped at its shoulders to get its attention. “Put me on the ground,” she said. “I want to talk to you, face to face.”

The spider-thing obeyed her without complaint. But once Belle was on the stone floor of the cave, it crawled up to the center of its massive, golden web. The monster towered over her. Belle had to crane her neck and squint to see it outlined in the half-light.

Not exactly face to face.

Pulling her shirt down again, Belle crossed her arms over her chest. Pregnancy had made her breasts swell up and her nipples become more sensitive--and she really didn’t want to be distracted by that sort of thing right now. For all its fond feelings, this creature had turned her life upside down. Before anything else happened, she would give him a piece of her mind.

“So,” she began firmly. “You know that I’m pregnant--that I’m going to have one of your ‘young,’ as you call it.”

“Yes.” The echoey answer came down from the shadows of the cave.

Out of sheer irritation, Belle began to tap her foot. “Did you plan for that to happen?”

“Yes.”

Her mouth fell open. “Yes?” she repeated. “You wanted me to conceive and carry your offspring? And you didn’t see fit to tell me about it?”

“I told.” The voice sounded indignant. “We made a deal. You agreed.”

“I did not agree to--”

“You said mate!”

The creature rappelled down from the web on a string of golden thread until its pointed legs touched the floor. The human-looking head and torso rose up from a spider’s cephalothorax. A ridged shell of exoskeleton covered his back and shoulders down to the waist, showing only the slightest hint of a golden underbelly. Unlike his sparkly face and hands, that bit of carapace was a glossy dark brown. It almost looked like an old-fashioned frock coat.

The shell moved with his body when he bent at the waist to look her in the eye. Now they were face to face. It was hard to read his expression. He didn’t seem enraged, just terribly intense.

“You agreed to be my mate!”

“Yeah, but mating doesn’t mean…”

This time, Belle stopped herself. She realized her mistake now. When she had made the deal with the creature, she had been thinking like a human. She had taken ‘mate’ to be the same as ‘fuck.’ She had thought her time with the spider had been a one night stand, no strings attached. She’d thought she’d gotten pregnant by accident.

She should have thought like an animal. So many animals only ever had sex when the female was ovulating, when conception was practically gauranteed. By agreeing to mate with him, she had been agreeing to have his child.

And there was the language the creature had used. There was a big difference between ‘mating’ and ‘being a mate.’ Did it really mean what it had said? Did he want her to be his mate? Forever?

Belle put her hand over her stomach. Her anger had left her, and now she felt like a deflated balloon.

“Did you really plan for me to get pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“And do you still want me around? Do you want me to have your… progeny?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” She looked into his eyes--so strange, so black, but so full of expression. “Was I just the first fertile human to ever come into this cave?”

“No,” it said simply. “Not the first.”

Belle blinked. “Wait, have you done this before? Do you have other offspring? Are there more things like you out there in the world?”

The creature looked away from her, but didn’t crawl back into its web. “Yes,” he said after a moment. His voice seemed quiet, almost sad. “Long ago. There was another.”

“Another woman?” Belle whispered. “Another human?”

He nodded. “And another young.”

“But only one? Hell, do your ‘mates’ only give birth to one, um, ‘young’ at a time?”

“Yes.”

Okay then. Well, at least now Belle knew she wasn’t going to give birth to hundreds of spiderlings. Thank God for small favors.

“What… happened to your young? It’s not in this cave, is it?” She had thought that this thing was such an anomaly, such a scientific impossibility, that there was no way there could be more than one of it. She had thought he was alone, but what if he wasn’t? Or at least, what if he hadn’t always been?

“Left.”

There was something different about this reply. Though it was just as monosyllabic and simple as everything else the creature had said, Belle got the distinct impression that there was more to it. He wasn’t just saying one word because that was all that needed to be said. He was only saying one word because it was too painful for him to say more.

“And what about the woman?” Not only was there another creature like him out there in the world--like him and like the child she carried--but there was also another woman somewhere who had been through exactly what Belle was going through now.

“She left too,” he said. Half of his eyes looked at the ground, and the other half darted back and forth around the cave. None of them looked at her.

“But…” Belle tried to piece together the facts. “She lived? She was pregnant with your young, and she gave birth to… something like you, and… both of them lived?”

“Yes.”

That eased a worry that Belle had barely been able to admit had been plaguing her.

“How old is your young now? How long ago did all this happen?”

“Old?” the creature cocked its head. “Long… ago?”

Belle swallowed. She had been thinking like a human again. What was time to a thing like him? Did it even have numbers that he could count seasons or years in? Why would it need them? How would this creature in the dark measure the passing of days?

“Your young,” Belle tried again. “Did it grow as big as you?”

That wouldn’t tell her exactly what she wanted to know, but it was good data anyway. If the offspring had lived to reach sexual maturity, that would at least give her an idea of what she could expect from her own young.

“No,” the creature answered. “He was small.”

He held out his arms in a circle near his chest. Belle recognized the gesture as cradling a baby and her heart melted a little. Then, he bent down on his spindly legs and put his hand about a meter off the floor. Belle had the image of a boy’s torso on a spider’s body, running and playing around this cave, learning to spin webs just like its father. Finally, the creature raised itself up a little higher, so that its hand was two meters above the ground. So the young had grown up to be about two-thirds the size of the creature. For some reason, Belle thought of a young teenager, maybe a fourteen year old boy.

She wondered what the young had looked like. Not just how many legs or eyes he’d had, but things like what color his hair had been. Was his chin as pointed as his father’s? Did his eyebrows furrow in the same way? Did the young look like his mother at all?

Would her child look like its big brother?

Belle looked around the cave and found a rock to sit on. So many revelations in such a short time had worn her out. She rested her face in her hands.

The creature came over to her. “Belle?”

“I’m tired,” she explained. “I’m tired all the time now. I don’t like being pregnant.”

He swallowed. Was he nervous? “You don’t want young?”

“What?” Belle looked up.

The creature had its hands drawn up close to its chest. Her first thought was of a praying mantis about to strike. But then she realized that his fingers were moving. They rubbed together in a way that almost looked like fidgeting.

Was he nervous?

He circled the cave on his many legs, up and down the walls. His head wove around like he had something very important to look at just over there, nowhere near her. Belle read this behavior as evasion. She had never seen it in a predator before.

He had made a complete circuit around before he spoke again.

“Will you… leave?”

Belle’s shoulders slumped. She knew what she had to say, and she knew that he didn’t want to hear it. Surprisingly, she didn’t really want to say it either.

“I’ll have to, eventually. People will worry if I just disappear. And I need food and water and--” she looked down at her belly “--medicine, I think. I still don’t know what to do about a doctor knowing what I’m pregnant with.”

“Stay.” It was looking at her now. All of his dark eyes were wide and full. “Please stay, Belle.”

She looked at the ground. When was the last time someone she’d fucked had even asked her to stay the night? Let alone stay for… however long he wanted her to stay. Forever? The time they had spent together could be measured in hours. It was not the stuff of a lifetime commitment!

And yet...

“I--” she didn’t know what to say. “I do have to go back tonight. The people I’m staying with will worry about me if I don’t come back. Everyone will worry about me if I just fall off the face of the earth. Do-do you understand that? I’m not alone. There are other humans who care about me, and I care about them.”

He turned his head. “I… care about you.” His voice was soft and muffled.

“I know.”

Belle heaved herself off the rock and took a few steps under his legs. He was so large, she felt like she was in a cave within a cave. Over her head, his oblong abdomen was smooth and dark, with a slight pattern of speckles. Though he wasn’t yellow, she understood why another name for nephila was “banana spider.” Tentatively, she reached up to touch the underside of his exoskeleton. It was almost a shell, cool and hard, with patterns of bumpy ridges breaking up the smoothness.

His legs scuttled in place as she touched him, and Belle withdrew her hand. “Was that alright?”

For a moment, the creature didn’t speak. Then, from high above her head, Belle heard the answer: “Yes.”

She raised her hand again, pressing the flat of her palm against him. “Does this feel good?”

Again, a long moment before he answered. She had the oddest idea that his hesitance wasn’t just reluctance to speak. Maybe he genuinely didn’t know if the sensations he was experiencing were actually pleasant or not. She couldn’t shake the thought that this creature had never been touched gently before. Or at least, it had been so long that the experience was strange.

“Yes,” he said at last.

Slowly, gently, Belle began to rub the shell of his abdomen segment. She tried to be soothing. Would he be soothed? Would he know that that was what she wanted?

Without thinking about it, her other hand drifted down to her belly. She touched the bump that barely even existed, the life inside her that only he knew was really there. She rubbed them all--her lover, her child, and herself. They were an odd and unnatural family, but she could not deny their connection.

“Can you tell me about the woman before?” She couldn’t say why that was the thought at the forefront of her mind. She just knew she wouldn’t have any peace until she was able to resolve it. “What was her name?”

Again, the legs shifted, uncertain. “Didn’t say.”

Belle blinked. “She didn’t tell you? But she mated with you? She agreed, just like I did?”

“No,” it said softly. “Not like you. She… wanted. She… offered.”

Belle blinked again. Wow. She had made a deal for this thing to fuck her as an alternative to having it eat her. But this other woman… Had she really fucked a giant spider just for the hell of it? And she didn’t tell him her name?

Belle moved forward along his body. At the junction between the abdomen and the cephalothorax, there was a ridged orifice. Belle recognized it as a gonopore, the hole where sperm came from. Her mind filled up with facts from classes she had taken: Male spiders didn’t have penises. They scooped sperm up with special limbs called pedipalps and jammed them securely into the female’s genital opening, called an epigyne.

In their particular case, this creature had impregnated her by filling up her vagina with his hand. That hand had obviously been covered in sperm. The process had resulted in the single most mind-blowing orgasm of her life.

Odd as it was, she could understand how a person would deliberately seek out an experience like that, even at the hands of a monster. Perhaps the other woman had known or guessed what this spider would be capable of. Mating like this brought intense physical pleasure to a human woman. Belle knew that from experience.

Did the creature get anything out of it, besides young? There hadn’t been any kind of climax for him. Arachnid procreation was mostly about a male pleasing a much larger female enough to avoid being eaten. Was there any pleasure in it for males? Belle looked up at the gonopore again. What kind of sensation could he feel there? Would that be an erogenous area? Should she touch it? Had the other woman touched it?

“Did she talk to you like I do?”

“No,” the creature said. “She… presented her body to me. We mated. She left, like you did. Then she came back. She was… rounder than you are. I heard the young clearly. She shouted and made noise at me. She called me Monster, Animal. Beast.”

But you are, Belle bit back the words. She lowered her hands away from the creature’s body. Walking out from underneath his cephalothorax, she looked at his face again.

He looked so sad.

“The other,” he went on. “She stayed. She had the young. Then she left. She left him here.”

Belle laid her hand on her stomach. She could have sympathy for a woman who found herself with both an inhuman child and a monster that wanted to mate for life. But it felt cruel for that woman to just leave both of them without a word of explanation.

“And in all that time you were together, she never told you her name?”

“No.”

“Did she name the baby--the young?”

“No.”

“Did you?” she asked. “Did you give your child a name?”

He cocked his head and made a noise, a sort of chittering chirp, more a song than a word. Belle tried to work out syllables that she could repeat into English.

“Bae-el-fi-re?”

His black eyes lit up in excitement. “Yes!” he cried. “Baelfire! Bae! That was my young.”

The joy and love in his voice almost brought Belle to tears. She couldn’t help but wonder how he would sound saying the name of their child, whenever they picked out a name. She had already told this creature her name. And she was damned if she wouldn’t name her child.

It was at that moment that Belle realized she wouldn’t leave him. Not forever. She couldn’t hurt him the way that other woman had.

“Will you--” Belle began, but then stopped herself. She started over again. “The last time I was here, I asked what your name was, and I didn’t quite understand it. Will you tell it to me again?”

He obliged her with another noise, a mess of garbled R and L sounds. She tried to piece it together. “Rum...ple-something? Rumple?”

He smiled at her. “Yes.” His voice was soft now. He sounded grateful.

“I know that’s not all of it, but it’s the best I can do for now.”

“Belle,” he whispered. His legs bent down so that his body lay flat on the ground. From this height, his face was only a few inches higher than hers.

She wanted to ask him more. She wanted to know what had happened to his other young, what was going to happen to her, what kind of name he would like for their child. These were all important questions, but in that moment nothing was more important than the simple act of being with him. Of staying.

She reached out to him. Earlier, she had been fascinated by the parts of him that were arachnid. Now she wanted to touch the parts of him that were human. She put her hand on his shoulder. The hard exoskeleton looked almost like a jacket, like a long coat made of crocodile leather.

The creature--Rumple--didn’t pull away from her touch. Instead, he inched closer. His own hands hung in the air between their bodies. It was clear he wanted to touch her, but couldn’t dare to yet.

So Belle took another step forward. “Do you…” There wasn’t really an easy way to ask this. “Can you mate now, even if we’ve already mated?”

Now it was his turn to blink. All eight eyes did so at a different time, and the effect was like a display of Christmas lights creating the illusion of movement on a static surface.

“Why?” he asked. Was it her imagination, or did he sound breathless?

She moved her hand from his shoulder to his neck, to his face. She brushed one of his chelicerae with the back of her knuckles. The inner bristles there were surprisingly soft. He shuddered at the touch.

“For pleasure,” Belle answered. “We can do it because it feels good. Because it’s the only thing that does feel good in this crazy world.”

With agonizing slowness, Rumple brought his hand up to her face. He touched her cheek. His long, sharp, claws ran against her skin without the slightest hint of pain.

Belle closed her eyes and smiled.

“She... the other… she wanted pleasure.”

Opening her eyes, Belle put her hand on top of his. “What do you want?”

He looked at her. All of his round, black eyes stared at her for a long moment before he answered: “Pleasure.”

Her breath quickened, but Belle nodded. This was happening, and she wanted it to happen. She was going to fuck a spider.

Again.

If he were a man, she would have kissed him now. But his chelicerae made his mouth oddly wide. More than that, the fangs and venom housed within his chelicerae were more of a hazard than Belle could manage right now.

Rumple seemed to know it. As they got closer to each other, he raised his head up so she could nestle underneath his chin. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his arms went around her waist and they held each other.

And it felt so good.

Eyes shut, Belle felt the tears welling up. But she wasn’t sad now. No, she was overwhelmed with an absurd feeling of safety, of peace. With her mind and her body, whatever happened, she would be alright. As long as she was with Rumple, as long as they were together, somehow things would turn out okay.

She wasn’t just going to fuck a spider, she was going to make love to Rumple. Whatever he was, whatever their child would be, whatever happened to her career or her future--they were together.

She loved him.

They stood together for a while. Their hands explored their bodies slowly, almost lazily. More than once, Belle found her hands wandering down to his gonopore. She didn’t touch it directly at first, just let her fingers graze against it. She felt like she was a teenager again--curious to find out what a guy’s boner or another girl’s pussy felt like, but also reluctant to be compelled to do anything with that knowledge once she had it.

Rumple didn’t seem to mind one way or the other. Maybe he couldn’t feel anything. Real spiders didn’t have sensory organs on their pedipalps, which could make mating a clumsy process. What was this creature’s relationship to his own body? How could she give him pleasure like he had given her?

“What can you feel?” she asked.

“Heart,” he said. His hand was on her neck and her pulse was probably racing.

Belle bit back a smile. “I mean, for yourself? Can you feel me touching you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like the way I’m touching you?”

“Yes.”

“Can I do anything more? Something different? Faster, slower? Rougher, softer? Want me to go in circles?”

That was too many questions at once, and she knew he wouldn’t answer. But he held her closer and rubbed his face in her hair.

“Do I smell good?” she whispered. She worked her hands into the inside of his carapace. His skin was soft there, and his body was warm.

“Yes,” he answered.

“What do I smell like?” She was genuinely curious as to what he would say, how he would describe his senses and whether it would mean anything to her.

“Belle,” he whispered. He always spoke her name with reverence. “You smell like Belle.”

Squeezing her eyes shut to block off another onslaught of tears, Belle pulled her free hand out of the carapace and very deliberately moved it down along his waist and into his gonopore.

Rumple gasped. His body stiffened, but Belle did not move her hand.

“Does that hurt, Rumple?”

“No.” His voice was different. One of his hands twisted in her tee shirt.

“You have to tell me if I hurt you. I’ve never done this before and I don’t want to get it wrong.”

Gently, he pulled her head back so they were looking at each other, face to face. “You too,” he said softly. “If I hurt you.”

“I’ll tell you,” Belle nodded. “If we do this right, we’ll both end up feeling very good.”

One hand was still in her shirt. He pulled at it, not roughly. “Sheer?” he offered.

Belle snorted at the word they had used last time for the act of her taking off her clothes. Strange that the other woman hadn’t taught him about clothing. Had she not worn any when she was around him? Was she a nudist? Or just a woman on a mission who wouldn’t let even a millimeter of fabric get between her body and the monster she wanted to fuck?

Nothing good would come of thinking about that woman now. Backing away from Rumple just a bit, Belle pulled her shirt over her head and unhooked her bra. Her nipples stood out from her breasts, hard and red as gumdrops. Pregnancy and arousal had an odd combination of effects on her body.

The creature cocked his head at her. He seemed surprised by how different she looked from the last time he had seen her.

Belle sat on the stone ground to take off her shoes and socks. “My body is going to be changing a lot between now and when the baby comes. So don’t get too attached to me looking just one way.”

“Beautiful,” was all he said when she pulled off her shorts and stood naked in front of him. “Always.”

She swallowed. For about the thousandth time, Belle remembered what a truly fucked up situation she had found herself in. She was talking to a giant spider. She cared what the spider thought about her appearance. She was relieved when the spider said he would always find her beautiful. She was looking forward to having an “always” with a motherfucking spider.

Stepping toward Rumple, Belle reached out her hand to touch his gonopore again. There was a ridge around the opening, made of a hard, shell-like material. The bumps were rounded and smooth. They felt good against her hand.

She applied a little pressure and the creature’s breath hitched.

“Nice,” Belle said out loud.

For all her horny bravery, Belle wasn’t ready to dive directly into the orifice where his sperm came from. It was wet and sticky, even more so than any of the fluids she normally associated with sex. That kind of mess would be more appropriate for a third date. But the ridge… She could work with that ridge. And it would give him pleasure too.

“Can you pick me up again?”

Of course he could. Of course his strength was inhuman. He held her in his arms and Belle wrapped her legs around his waist. Her pussy opened up to him, flush against his body. Her wetness left a shine against his dark brown shell.

“What do you want?” he asked her.

With one hand, she held onto his arm. With the other, she brushed back a lock of his hair. Her fingers trailed down to his cheek.

“I want to ride you,” she answered. “I want you to hold me up with your arms so I stay pretty much where I am right now. If you think you might drop me, please stop and put me down and we’ll think of something else to do.”

“I will!” he promised. God, he was so sincere, so heartfelt.

Belle adjusted her position so that the ridge around his gonopore was pushing directly against her pussy. The hard, round bumps pressed against her clitoris and her vagina at the same time.

“Oh, fuck yes,” she whispered. She rocked her hips against him. “Do you feel that? Do you like that feeling?”

Rumple’s arms clutched around her and he held her tight against his body. “Yes.”

“Good.” Her breathing was heavy. “I’m going to keep moving like this, over and over, until I can’t do it anymore. I’m going to try to come. Do you remember, last time, when you made me come? You did it four times.”

“Yes.” He didn’t have hips, exactly, but his lower half jerked forward, as though he was being led by his gonopore into her body.

She chuckled. “And if there’s anything I can do for you--any way you want me to touch you or move against you--just let me know.” Belle looked into his eyes, all eight of them. “I want you to enjoy this too.”

He nodded, and she began to grind.

The bumps between her legs really were perfect for this. They were large enough that she could feel them, but not so penetrating that it was uncomfortable. Her movements did an excellent job of not satisfying her--they always left her wanting more.

Unlike so many times with men, Belle felt like she was in control of her pleasure. She wanted to make Rumple feel good, but there was no demand, no urgency. Sometimes fucking a cock felt like a race against time, like she was there to satisfy it, like the male climax was the point of sex and her own pleasure only existed to make a man horny.

But this was more like fucking a woman, when orgasms were a nearly inexhaustable resource and lovers could spend hours trading pleasure back and forth between them. They had nothing but time, her and Rumple. They would have forever to learn the mysteries of each other’s bodies. They would have always.

No one--man or woman--had ever promised her that before.

Her legs tightened around his waist, and Belle found herself clenching, the orgasm rising up out of her. She clung to Rumple as she came, bracing herself against his chest. As she came down from the first of what would be many highs, she looked up at his face. His eyes were even rounder and blacker than before.

“Belle,” was all he said.

“Rumple.” She gave him a sated smile and rested her head on his chest again. Then she told him something she had never said to anyone else before: “I love you.”

#Nephila #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #spiders #rumbelle monsters ball

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apriki · 4 years

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just more star wars stuff about the ending walk on walk on

went back and read my own reax to tfa and tlj and in one of them i said,

OKAY LIKE THEIR BATTLEGROUND WAS HIS HEART? HIS BODY, HIS SOUL? AND SHE WON?????? SHE WON!!!

rey killed kylo ren and he became the person ////she/// wanted him to be ohhhhhh my g

also sidebar: she killed him with his crucifix sword. and also the same way he killed han. OHHHHHH? OH WORD? WHEN SHE HEALED HIM THE SCAR ON HIS FACE THAT SHE GAVE HIM AFTER HE KILLED HIS FATHER HEALED? OH W O R D OH?

and okay look i know people are big mad about the ending but, rey’s battle was for the galaxy and ben’s battle was to find himself.... and he did.. and chose to give himself up in sacrifice? LIKE SORRY THAT IS LIKE.... FKJBDSKJBFVKJ

like i said in my og post, it’s okay that rey’s storyline is about the universe and ben’s storyline is about rey. it’s good actually!!!! like you take a man with the physicality of adam driver and you have him hold her body and choose her above himself? give his power to her? his very LIFE?

im fhbw=e wheeww you guys im shaking

like look obviously i’m not calling this corporate behemoth cash grab a feminist manifesto or whatever but this narrative beat IS powerful, to me. and it could have been handled better, everything in this movie was a mess, but the core of it is.... güüd. and adam driver was fucking doing the MOST out here. MY MANS

and also, i love that this is both a selfless act and a deeply selifsh act, all at once. like how fucking kylo ren of him i cannot. he can’t do anything by halves, he has always been relentless in whatever he has been pursuing, he’s like a fucking crusader seeking a grail, any grail. AND HE FOUND ITTTTT and like his love is that powerful? wooooowww

also look i agree that this movie did a hatchet job with a lot of stuff from tlj and that is objectively bad. but also.... ben didn’t go to exegol to kill what he hated, he went to save what he loved. and he did!!!!!!!

i just love tragedy. so

#star wars #star wars spoilers #rise of skywalker spoilers #SPOILERS #i'm gonna be talking about this for... a while i GUESS

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ambitionsource · 5 years

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episode 1.01 re-read reax

Fav scene: I love a tableau! The first intro of the techies on the stairs is even more fun the second time around.

Fav performance: Riley singing Your Song, so soft.

Fav character: Zay was a stand out for his friendliness, but Isa takes the top spot this episode because I love how much we can already see about her from limited screen time and exposition. The way she was talking with Lucas in the first part of the episode shows us that they're serious and also very close. The way she takes control of the stage without any performance, she's doing her own thing and still commands a room. The fact that she tries to stop Lucas from doing the fire alarm thing shows how she cares. And yeah maybe I'm just super excited because I know how much she grows this season.

Fav line: "but also showing off his capacity to be obnoxious."

Underrated moment: Dave asking how he can get a song cannon lmao

Something I missed: Zay and Charlie often parallel each other in scenes, usually if one is mentioned then the next line is about what the other is doing, as if they're connected by some cosmic line? Also, Sarah saying Lucas's full name, subtle hint that people may not get on with him but they are interested enough to know stuff about him

First impression vs re-read: I can't remember my first impression well, but I think I underestimated Isa. Also I had no idea how crazy Farkle could actually get despite the clues from day one. Lucas making a comment on Riley's performance also hit differently in the re-read, because now I know that Lucas is so much more invested in situations than he lets on... it seems like the comment was intended to challenge her, not put her down.

Yes, the techies... we just have to stan! I’ve loved them forever and I will love them forever more!! I’m glad to see Miss Riles getting a little vocal love (as she dang well should). I LOVE your thoughts on Isadora just from the start, and how she completely developed and exceeded your expectations as you went on. :’) Es will also love to see that haha.

Your comment about Charlie and Zay... well... what can I say but 👀👀👀. And then how Lucas’s line to Riley “hits differently,” ... mhm. mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm! That is definitely one of those moments that looks a lot different in hindsight once we have this whole world of context ahead of us. Like sure, maybe Lucas wants a little chaos... but rather than targeting it at Riley, he’s just contemplating that she might be able to cause it too... and well, as a homie knows,,,

#ambition #s1 meme #submission #THANK YOU MISS ELLIE FOR PARTICIPATING <3 #S1 reread #S2 countdown

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occidentaltourist · 5 years

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Would love to see Kelly play mediator in the reveal/rift. Given the Kara/Kelly hug and greeting in 4x15 and Kelly's reax when Alex talked about how tough it would be to have a superpowered sibling, I just think Kelly and Kara are probably reasonably close, and that Kelly may already know that Kara's Supergirl. She might even be able to help Lena see why Kara keeping this secret isn't any sort of rejection. Maybe she could also help Lena see how vulnerable Kara really is on xenophobic Earth-38.

I’ll preface this by saying that I really hope, even if it takes most of S5 to get there, the writers allow Kara and Lena to have conversations, directly with each other, about the super secret and rebuilding their relationship into something stronger, healthier, and better. I don’t mind fighting, angst, or drama - as long as we see incremental progress along the way.

(After a strong run of episodes for Kara/SG and Lena from 4x17 to 4x19, I have more hope than I did before that it’s possible, and can be done in a way that respects the characters and relationship the show has built over the years.)

All this to say, I don’t see any mediation role played by Kelly, Alex, or Brainy as about explaining Kara’s reasons or kryptonian experience to Lena on her behalf; Kara can do it herself, and - though I don’t really see how the latter is relevant to why she kept her identity a secret to Lena specifically - I frankly think Lena doesn’t need it explained to her at all; she was listening both times Supergirl told her about it.

I think Kelly is a good listener: empathetic, reflective, practical - and sometimes that’s what people really need. Not someone to spout platitudes back at them (looking at you, J’onn with Alex), but just to lend an ear, help them think through the issue at hand, and process their feelings. Brainy, who is a friend to both yet not as closely involved as Alex, could play a different type of role and perhaps give more direct advice based on his own knowledge and experience … which I think Lena would respect and be willing to listen to.

I keep thinking about the difference between the conversations Kara and James had in S3 and S4, about Lena and the super secret. James knew a year ago that telling Lena about Guardian was the right choice, and he shared this with Kara without pushing her to do the same. To me it meant even more that Kara arrived at the same conclusion for herself on her own - with James agreeing, but again not pushing her. I hope we see a similar template as the various characters around Kara and Lena help deal with the fallout.

#supercorp #and the super secret #asks

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serynuh · 6 years

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i never know how to make my intros sound Cool™ and With the Times™, so i’m just gonna throw my name out there — it’s dri (she/her) !! — and Never Stop Talking. i’m eighteen, pst, and running on... not very many hours of sleep, so please excuse me if i seem all over the place. midterm season is here and it’s ready to Kick My Ass !!! anyway, here’s the lowdown on my girl seryna aka phantasm !! ( tw: death, murder )

°✧｡ [ BAE SUZY, SHE/HER ] it’s been two years since PHANTASM joined velia from NEVADA, USA. apparently their name is SERYNA KWON. they’ve been fighting as a SOLO member for a while now. didn’t people say they WERE a beta tester? i heard they turned TWENTY-TWO this year. let’s hope they make it out alive.

before velia:

seryna grew up in san diego, california, but she moved to nevada a few months after graduating from university (marketing with a minor in graphic design) for a job opportunity.

she had always been into video games as a young girl, but she gravitated toward dating sim-type games. she loved the ea imagine games (makeup artist was her favorite).

as she grew up, she continued to harbor a preference for games that had a romantic aspect to them, but her best friend, evelyn, took to mmorpgs and competitive gaming.

seryna being an only child, evelyn was the closest thing she had to a sister. she might as well have been a part of her family, seeing how often she was at their house. she had a helicopter mom, and seryna took any opportunity to feel less suffocated by her. it helped that her parents liked evelyn’s family.

the two of them shared a gaming channel on youtube since they were seventeen (if u kno geekremix, that’s basically how their channel would be like), and it had a fair amount of attention with a few hundred thousand subs. evelyn would stream on twitch as well, but their youtube channel was seryna’s baby, and she put a lot of energy and devotion into it.

seryna knew that evelyn was more popular among the two, but she tried to suppress any envious feelings she had.

she ended up becoming a beta tester mainly through evelyn’s influence. the only exposure she had to mmos was watching evelyn play, but the prospect of vr seemed to get her off the fence because it seemed innovative and interesting.

inside velia:

it’s safe to say that once they put on their headsets in the beta, she was Sold, so naturally, she came back for the full release.

and oddly enough, it seemed that she was waaaay more invested in the game than evelyn was. she wanted to know all the ins and outs of the game, try out all the items she could get her hands on. her enthusiasm was unbounding.

she and evelyn formed a small guild (wayfarers of polaris) with a guy and a girl that they knew from the gaming community. they weren’t beta testers, so seryna and evelyn served as guides to them at the start of the game, and seryna was their guild master.

being guild master was monumental for seryna because there was finally something she was better than evelyn at, even though it was in a game.

they made great progress and seemed to be leveling up well, not too far behind the front lines but also trying not to draw too much attention to themselves. however, on a fateful night toward the end of their first year in the game, seryna left them to buy food and items in celebration of defeating a monster. when she got back, though, no one was to be found, for they were eliminated (by a circus player, i’m thinking).

she feels guilty for what happened and truly believes that it’s her fault that they died. if she had been there, maybe they could have stood a chance.

also somewhat deluded into the idea that they’re not actually dead in real life despite all the proof that they are.

this event became a turning point for seryna. their eliminations sent her on a rampage. she wanted to know who killed her guild members, and she wanted nothing but vengeance. adrenaline high with anger, she encountered a male who made a joke about a “tough battle” (implying that players were lost). seryna took this as a threat, and she accused him of being the culprit. long story short, she eliminated him without hesitation, despite the fact that he was innocent. she wanted answers and her instinct settled on whatever lie she could tell herself.

she had never killed another player in the game, so just imagine her dropping her staff and staring at her hands after doing so, then bursting into tears.

seryna is a mage and a really good one at that. direct combat... not so much, but she’s looking to improve for her own sake.

from then until now, she’s just doing whatever it takes to survive. she wants to survive, to get out of this game, and to see her friends again because of her belief that they’re not dead and the game master is lying to them. another part of her, however, doesn’t want to leave in fear of confronting the truth of the matter, which is that they’re gone for good.

so she’s strayed from the front lines, which halted her leveling progress. she also left the guild’s headquarters because all it does is remind her of her guilt, and the memory itself is a big enough burden to carry.

she’s fearful of joining another guild due to her guilt -- she’d rather be eliminated on her own than under someone else’s command -- and has trouble thinking about the concept of potentially replacing her lost friends.

since becoming a solo player, she spends a lot of time level grinding in lower-level areas. honestly, it’s turned into a form of stress relief.

the only people that really called her by real name were her irl friends. everyone else knows her as phantasm.

she’s got this thing going with a black hooded cloak. makes her feel cool and mysterious.

personality:

naturally creative, caring, and compassionate, which honestly showed up more evidently in real life, but she’s does little things here and there in game that make u go uwu owo u feel??

acts on instinct; she rly trusts her gut feeling

never apologizes first

earlier on in the game, she was quite willing to help out new players who hadn’t beta tested velia. she’s pretty generous, but after the Incident, she’s starting to look at people asking for help with caution

short-tempered. that’s all i gotta say about that.

i haven’t done any personality tests for her yet because she’s a new muse, but i’m feeling like she’s somewhere on the introvert side when it comes to myers-briggs and probably a chaotic/true neutral

after losing her guild, she became distrustful and aggressive, but it’s in her character to look for the good in people which makes her conflicted about her own actions

she’s a fake tsundere??? she can get attached to people suuuper easily, but she pulls tsundere antics because shes angery reax only

she just has to warm up to people because she’s a smol angery KDJLFHSK she gets so heated sometimes??? like, put her in a fridge... damn...

hot tip: don’t make a joke when she’s angry because u will end up like the guy she accused of eliminating her entire team

potential connections:

these are honestly just starting points we can build off of, and they can go anywhere tbh. i’m also chill with no established connections and working off of chemistry!

your character was a circus member that attacked and eliminated seryna’s guild. she clearly doesn’t know it’s them, but she has her suspicions about the circus’ involvement.

seryna met your character in the beta

seryna met your character at the start of the game, either before or after they found out they were trapped inside

your character has a relation with the guy seryna accused for attacking her guild. they could be thankful for her doing so for whatever reason, seek vengeance, or anything, really! it’s up to u!

they knew each other in the real world, whether it be online or in real life

your character is a solo player she partied up with before (she avoids partying up with the same person twice due to trust/abandonment issues but who knows)

someone give me angst

+more

#veliaintro #i rly.... meant to make it shorter im so sorry dskjghdsg

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wonhoinamillion · 6 years

Text

Lacuna

Pairing; scientist! changkyun x cyborg! reader x Kihyun

Trigger warning; mention of death

Genre; sci-fi AU, angst, fantasy

Author's note; This actually a dream I had a few months ago that I changed a bit and turned it into a fic. So if you find something illogical, please don’t mind it because I want to keep it true to what I saw. Also, this is pretty long so sit back, reax and Enjoy~

They say that one can never be too happy in life. And that they are never satisfied with what they have. Greed is human nature. Always wanting to acquire more or possess more than want they have. But that was not the case with you. You are one of those very rare people that are happy and content with life. What more can you ask? You have a loving family, a job of your dreams and a fantastic boyfriend, Yoo Kihyun. You and Kihyun are high school sweetheart. So life is perfect.

Or it was…

On a wonderful day, you and Kihyun had just returned from your holiday in Bali. Kihyun had asked you to marry him and were on your way to tell you, family and friends, the great news. You were going to marry the love of your life. You were ecstatic. The weather that day had matched your mood, the sky was clear with not a cloud in sight. Kihyun was driving and you were in the passenger seat. He had his head turned towards you, smiling. Yoo Kihyun’s enchanting smile. The smile that is brighter than any star in the universe. The smile you fell in love with. It was the last thing you saw before everything went black.

Screaming, loud sirens, familiar voices calling your name over and over again and the distant beeping. That’s all you remember. You’re very last memory.

Your time was up. Your perfect life was over. Your life itself was over because what you have now..you didn’t quite know. You were on the operation table for 11 hours. “The doctors tried very hard” that’s what you hear in whispers everytime the room would fill with loud uncontrollable sobbing. You could only hear. You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t see. Because nothing below your heart works. You couldn’t feel your lower body. You couldn’t even feel your hands.

You wanted to cry. To shout. To scream so loud that it would shake the earth underneath your feet. But you couldn’t move. You just laid there. Lifeless. The only thing that tells everyone you’re not completely gone is the beeping.

For weeks you would have Kihyun besides your bed, sobbing and apologizing over and over until he’d have no strength left to talk. You wanted to hug him, hold him in your arms, cry with him. But you just couldn’t. So all you did was listen to his once soothing voice that now heavy with pain. Then slowly his visits creased and he stopped coming. He didn’t want to see you anymore. Could you blame him? You wouldn’t want to see yourself. If you could see...that is.

“It’s better to be dead than to be like her” you’d hear unfamiliar voices speak, occasionally making similar comments. They weren’t wrong and it made you wonder if your parents went begging the doctors to just put you off your misery. ‘That’ll be good’ you’d think one moment but then the next you’d want to yell again. You want to live. You want your life back. Did the universe do this to you in return for having a perfect life? They always say that the universe loves being cruel. And that it loves to play games with human lives. But isn’t this just too brutal? Having your life destroyed right after you experienced the happiest moment of your existence? You hated the universe. You never felt loathe this strong before. But then again you were never actually ‘angry’ in your life. You didn’t have the chance to. Then you’d want to cry again. Did the universe detest you for not having to thank it for what all it had given you? You’d think and think and think...because that’s all you could do.

That’s how Changkyun found you.

Lifeless and alone.

Im Changkyun is a scientist. A Robotic engineer for the Korea Institute of science and technology. Changkyun is one of South Korea's youngest science prodigy. He’d had become a scientist at a young age and won a few awards for his research and creations. He has made a visit to the hospital to collect his samples and that’s when he heard about you. You had become the talk of the hospital for months.

His presence was hard to ignore when he stood next to your bed. You couldn’t see him but you’d listen to his steady breathing. It was comforting. He promised you that he’ll help you. That he’ll save you. And when he spread his warmth to you by holding your hand in his big rough ones and when the back of his hand gently trail down the side of your face, for the first time tears escaped your eyes. After that everything after that was blank.

From that day on, you stopped existing. The hospital told your family and friends that you had gone in your sleep. They held your funeral. You were dead for the world.

You woke up one day, months later. Eyes fluttering open. Your blurry vision cleared after a while. You can see. Looking around an unfamiliar room, your eyes landed on him. Changkyun. He stood at the foot of the bed with an unreadable look on his face staring at you. He didn’t utter a word. A strange sensation passed through your body. A feeling you never felt. Body...you can feel your body. You tried to sit up, feeling a lot heavier than you remember.

Changkyun gave you a body. A metal one to be exact. He turned your heart into a generator. He said you’re a hybrid cyborg. You never imagined that you’d hear that name for you. In fact, you never imagined you’d look like what you did now. Standing in front of a mirror, you saw yourself clearly. Polished silvery-white metal that spread from your lower torso down to your feet. Your knees and ankles are in a more ball-ish shape, covered in grey metal with silver and black wire sticking out. Your arms and upper torso, however, wasn’t metal. It’s covered with skin but you could feel the cold metal inside sticking to your bones. When you let your eyes run to your face, you look almost inhuman. Like you were sculpted. Long, straight and silky brown hair falling past your shoulders and settling on your chest framing your face. Your face paler, eyes brighter and skin shinier. Almost like those china dolls.

You were thankful of changkyun. He saved you. He gave you a body. You’re alive. You have all your memories, emotions and even heartbeats. It’s only that your body changed.You came to know that you were in a government's science facility outside Seoul and that you were surrounded by scientists. But none of them were like changkyun.

Changkyun’s sweet, kind and very caring. He never treated you like you were a cyborg or like it’s because of him that you’re able to live again. He treated like a new friend he’d just made. You’d tell him all your stories and changkyun would listen to you attentively with a small smile on his face. A deep chuckle would leave his lips every time you’d say something cute or funny. He’d then proceed to tell you his stories that weren’t many because he never really experienced much in life - he hardly ever leaves the facility. It was just so easy to speak to him. There was a sense of familiarity with Changkyun like you’ve known him for ages. You’d tell him all about your old life, about the places you’ve been to and the countries you have visited. You’d tell him about your family and you’d tell him about Kihyun. Then you’d cry and sob until you become too tired to keep your eye open. And the entire time Changkyun would hold you in his embrace and whisper comforting words into your ear while running his fingers through your hair. He’d tell you that you’ll be able to meet your parents and family one day and until that day comes, you’ll have to be strong. And you’d nod into his warm chest. Changkyun is sweet, just too sweet. Initially, when you met him, you were quite surprised that he is the scientist that saved you. But when he spoke, it took you back to the day in the hospital where he had promised to help you. Changkyun’s young. In fact, a year younger than you. He’s also very handsome. Sometimes you would just sit and stare him while he worked. When he’d turn his head and catch you looking, he would send a wink your way with a grin that’d make your heart flutter and you’d look away blushing - that is if you can. It confused you. Could you still feel those things?

“Am I too handsome for you?” he’d as a flirty grin spreads across his face and you scoff, rolling your eyes “as if!”. Sometimes you wondered how he learns to say such things when he never goes out.

But the best part about changkyun is that he is always himself when he’s with you. He’d be all mature and serious with the other scientist but when he would be alone with you, he’d be this little boy that was so desperate to come out. You both would play and laugh together. He’d teach you things and you’d teach him. There would be days where you both would spend all day together because Changkyun wouldn’t leave his lab which was attached to his room that’s also yours now. And when he would leave, you’d wait for him to return because you almost never left his lab. Except for a few times he had taking you around the facility and the garden forest behind it.

As days past, Changkyun thought you how to function with your new body. It was difficult to use and work with your new body. It’s different than your actual one. This one is a lot heavier and more complicated to use. Things don’t just come naturally, you would’ve had to learn how to use it. It felt different. You felt different. You learnt many things about it. Like how your mind basically works like a computer. Something like artificial intelligence. You once learnt to speak 14 languages in three days and it had made you upset because you very much felt like a robot - that you are. But changkyun just called you a superhuman “, because you still are human y/n” he tells you while hugging you to his chest. You also learnt thing like how you can never actually feel physically tired, unless you needed to be recharged, the generated that’s in your heart. But the most depressing thing you learned was that you can never actually feel hungry. You can eat food like you normally used to but your new body doesn’t need consumption of food, so you don’t really feel hungry. It had made you cry because you always love food. Kihyun always teased you about it and you’d end up lecturing him how food brings love and comfort. Changkyun then reminded you how amazing it was for you that you eat all the food in the world without getting fat “Sure you won’t feel hungry but then again, who eats when they are hungry?” he would say with a cheeky smile. He’d order whatever you wanted and whenever you wanted and would eat it with you because it makes you happy. You also learnt that you only sleep when you needed to regenerate, this time you occupied by playing your favourite old memories over and over again in your head. The best part is that you can actually see them behind your lids.

Changkyun was always considerate of you, making sure that nothing would make you upset but the others did not share his concern. The other scientists weren’t like Changkyun. They weren’t kind like him or sympathetic like him. They were cunning. And you had discovered that very late.

A year had passed and Changkyun had taken you along with him to an International Open science conference in the city. It had been a while since you were around so many people. You were excited and nervous. Changkyun had told you not speak anyone and to stay beside him the entire time. And you did. The scientists had seemed to like you. They were fascinated and mesmerised by you. They had a very strange look in their eyes when they saw you. But you didn’t understand it. You were enjoying the attention you were receiving.

“It’s been awhile,” you tell changkyun that night with your head resting on his shoulder, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt as you watch him type away on his laptop. It was dark and the only source of light is the screen but you could still make out his soft feature even in the dim light. He looks so beautiful.

“What has?” he asks after click send to his email, his attention on you now. Nuzzling you head into the crook of his neck, you sigh “Feeling like a person” you quietly reply. You feel his soft lips on the crown of your head and a smile dances on your lips “I’m glad”.

Days later the scientist that you met at the conference came into the facility asking to meet you again. And just as Changkyun had told, you didn’t speak. That’s when it all had started. They would take you to the laboratory, the one that wasn’t Changkyun’s. Making you lay on a long examine table, they’d study you. Analyze, scan and survey you. It would make you feel bare and exposed. It troubled you. They would stick wires and needles into your skin and strange metallic bands around your head. You were scared.

Changkyun had told you that they just wanted to know what you can do. You could clearly see the panic in his eyes everytime the researchers would come to take you and he’d tell him that you’re occupied. Then he’d disappear for a few hours and return a troubled look on his face. But he’d still try not to worry you. He’d hug you and tell you that everything was fine. But you knew better and you didn’t need your sensors to guess that.

So you did for Changkyun. Because somewhere along the way you had fallen in love with Changkyun. You didn’t know whether it was because you crave human affection and changkyun provides you with that or was it because you spend all your time with him and only him. You also didn’t know whether the love you have for Changkyun is romantic because Kihyun was still in your heart and always will be. But whatever it was, you love Changkyun and you went along with it for him.

You started to see less and less of changkyun and more and more of the other scientists. It occurred to you at a very early stage that they weren’t fascinated by who you are but what you are. It makes you sick to the stomach. It made you cry,

As things progressed they did many things to you. They tried many things on you. Each day you’d go blank and wake up with something new added to you or something removed from you. You were able to do things with your eyes. See things that normal human eyes are not able to see. Even your mind started working faster than it used to. You began to feel less human day after day and more machine as time passed.

They had no sympathy for you because they only saw you as their toy. Something to play with. It was no secret that they were only using you to create something or someone that will be far better than what you are and then they will discard you. Terror would often take over you. You wanted to see Changkyun but they kept you away from him. Panic and fear were the only two emotions that you could feel because forgetting it. You stopped hearing your heartbeat.

They very few time that you were able to see Changkyun, you’d sob in his chest with no tears spilling down your face. He’d tell you that everything will be okay and you’d believe him. But when his as less convincing his tone became, the more you stopped trusting him.

Every time you’d make eye contact with Changkyun - pleading him with your eyes to save you, he avoids your gaze and pretends as though he has work to do elsewhere. You weren’t sure if Changkyun had begun to think of your his break project now that he has become on one of the most reputed scientists in the country. It tore you when you realized that the one person who you have come to trust so much has abandoned you.

You felt so furious. You wanted to fight them all, to burn down the entire facility and everyone inside it to ashes. “But Changkyun…” you’d whisper defeatedly. Not quite sure what they have done to you, but you began to forget all the memories you had one by one. You’re mind felt so heavy yet so empty. So you’d sit in your small room in the dark and reply every single remaining memory you have in your head, behind you lids over and over again. A small watery smile would form on your lips as familiar faces of your family, friend and Kihyun would appear. You could feel your mother’s warm hug and the tickle on the top of your head as she kissed it. Your parents had brought you your favourite car for your 18th birthday. You replayed one of your most favourite memory.

You were at the playground near your house after school. Orange and yellow hues had spread across the sky as the sun set behind the trees of the park. It’s your favourite time of the day and the sky was exceptionally beautiful. But your eyes were fixated on the boy in front of you. Yoo Kihyun. The boy you had a crush on since he has transferred to your school in 6th grade. He stood in front of you with a small bouquet his shaky hands and a nervous smile on his lips “y/n will you be my girlfriend?” he asked in a small, almost whisper like voice, but it was loud enough for you to hear. The moment you nodded, Kihyun pulled you into a hug and kissed you. Sixteen and your first kiss with the boy that you like. March 14 has always been your favourite day.

You played the memory where your friends had taken you to the most expensive club in Seoul when you graduated university. You had drunk so much that you couldn’t stand straight without falling, and had Kihyun come and pick you up scolding you the entire ride home with you giggling at everything he said. You had done the same thing when you landed your dream job and that’s exactly what you had planned after you announce your engagement with Kihyun.

But as the memories faded away, you gradually forget what your family and friends look like. What Kihyun looks like...what he sounds like. With those fading memories, so vanished your emotions. You couldn’t remember what happy, sad or angry feels like anymore. All you could feel was a large void inside your chest and voices chanting “you’re nothing but a machine now” in your head. And they are right. You’re almost nothing but a machine now.

They had you locked up in a small container to see how long you can go on without recharge. 58 hours. You went without charge for 58 hours. And you have had enough of all of it. Getting up, you let your hand penetrate through the thick metal wall and dragged your hand all the way down to the end. With two hands, you tore open the metal wall and walk out. The only left scientist stared at you horrified and still tries to stop you “Hey! Where do you think you’re going? Get back here!?” he orders you. Grabbing him by his filthy lab coat, you send him flying across the room and resume to walk out the lab.

Sitting in your small room, you stare at the damages on your arms. The skin on your arms has torn open and instead of feeling pain or watching blood ooze out, you blankly stare at the silvery grey metal peek from the inside your skin. You hear footsteps behind you and instantly knew who it is. His presence has always been strong. Silently staring at hands, you wait till Changkyun stops in front of you.

“I can’t remember,” you say without lifting your head to look up at Changkyun. At this point, you have forgotten how you sound like.

“Remember what?” Changkyun asks a few seconds later. You miss his deep and warm voice.

“My parents, my….boyfriend. I can’t remember them,” you tell him “I can’t recall their names” Your voice trailing off in the end. Changkyun didn't say anything. He remained silent. And you knew why. What exactly can he even say now?

You finally look at Changkyun. It felt as though someone has splashed him with ice water when he sees how stone cold your eyes have become. They’re not sparkly and shiny like they were before. They now look dull and empty, like the eyes of a dead person.

“You said you’re not like that others” you voice raised an octave “That you are much kinder. That you’re not cunning like them...but you are just as cruel” You say. You want to end this. Changkyun a sharp pang his chest, like someone had ripped his heart from his chest. You look so broken and lost.

You want to cry but all that happened was your voice breaking as you speak. You want to tell Changkyun how much in pain you are in even without feeling it. You want to tell him to stop them from torturing you, to stop ripping you apart piece by piece, to leave you alone and to never come near you. To bury your face in his chest and cry till it's over.

But all you say is “If this is what it means to stay alive, then I don’t want to live anymore”

Changkyun loved you. He really did. He tried so hard to make you live again like a human but it was impossible. He knew it. But he was selfish. He wanted you all to himself. And it didn’t occur to him how much pain it could cause you. What he’d be putting you through. He just loved you too much. But he lost you now. You’re gone. At your request, he had ended your suffering. And it killed him when he did. All he can say no is that at least your soul is free and at peace.

He was watching your memories that he had saved as a copy and converted them into live video format - it had taken them ages to do that. Knowing how important they are to you, he was going to gift them to you. Changkyun accessed your furthest and most forgotten memories. He watched a skinner and much younger version of himself in the corner of your eyesight. Sitting on the swing alone, he would come to the playground to escape from all the pressure he had at home and you just came to watch the sunset. Changkyun used to be your neighbour. Since he never left his room much, he never got the courage to speak to you but he’d always watch you from his window. You’d catch him looking at you and you’d send a smile and a wave his way. It always made his day. He always liked you. And he always wanted to tell you that. But couldn’t. His father was taking him away from the busy city and from a place where he wouldn’t be disturbed. He replayed the day of his move. You had come up to him and wished him. He watched you tell him that it was nice knowing him and to make proud you by becoming a successful scientist. On that day Changkyun thought that you’d remember him like you promised that you would. You had broken your promise.

His sobs rattled his body. His loud cries overlapping the sweet sound of your laughter that filled the room.

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