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crashing-all-modes · 5 days

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UPDATE ON THE RAVEN CYCLE SCULPTURE!!

Sorry for such a long wait for the update. It was my last two weeks of school, and MAN, OH MAN, was it stressful for homework!!

Okay, so first of all, this is a long update with lots of pictures!!! (I’m going to make a TLDR version for anybody who doesn’t want to hear me yap, LOL)!

Once again, no spoilers if you have thoughts please!

As some of you may know, I had a project for my 3D design class where we had to pick a book and then create a sculpture out of the book (it can be anything, a scene from the book, a feeling you got while reading it, symbolism and so on). The one rule of the assignment is the pages of the book have to be the most prominent part of the design. So I was allowed to paint it, draw on it, and use whatever I saw fit as long as the pages of the book were included and the most prominent!!

For my project I decided to do the raven boys as tarot cards using the major arcana.

I’m gonna break this up into sections so it's easy to navigate!

Making the Hand

So funny story, I thought this project was due two weeks ago and spent all night (stayed up till 6am) working on it, only to wake up at 8am to find out it was due the following week. AH. So here’s what I did that night:

Dw, the hand looks way better after I had more time to work on it; I used about… 4 jumbo sticks of hot glue to attach it to the board? You can pick this up by the hand and use it as a weapon, and it will stay attached.

Building The Base Tarot Card

I made all 5 cards with 2 pieces: one large piece, which would be the back of the card, and another smaller piece, which would act as the part for the character to be on. I made them out of cardboard, so there’s definition.

Back Piece

I carved into the cardboard these small little triangles which was for the gold foil I planned on using! To cover the back pieces, I ripped up pages into uneven pieces and mod-podged them on there (because glue itself made the pages translucent).

Front Piece

The smaller pieces were very important when creating the cards because I used full pages from the book. I picked very specific moments in the book that helped to relate both the character and their card!

Ronan

This is the page where Ronan first "finds" Chainsaw. His card is The Moon, which deals with supernatural elements and visions, so I figured it would be a perfect page to use. Plus, it was one of my favourite Ronan moments!

Gansey

Originally, I wanted to use the page where Gansey recounted his near-death experience with the bees, but I must've used the page by accident because I couldn't find it ANYWHERE?? I opted for this page instead, because this is another instance where Gansey looked death in the eye and scared it off (his card is The Hanged Man).

Blue

I decided to use Blue for The Lovers card because I felt the irony of it was too fitting. I used the page where the reader learns about Blue's fate to kill her true love just by kissing him. The design for her card is so evil (if you keep reading, you'll see it), but it's good.

Noah

(Spoilers) If you've gotten this far, I'm hoping you've at least read the first book. Noah's card is Death, which is... very fitting for obvious reasons AND for the context of the card!! I decided to go with one of the craziest moments in the book when they find out Noah's a ghost. It's perfect for the Death card... and IT EVEN MENTIONS THE DEATH CARD ON THIS PAGE, WHICH I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL I WAS GLUING IT ONTO THE CARDBOARD!!

Adam

Adam is my favourite in the book and I had so many moments to pick from for his tarot card. Ultimately, I picked the scene where he and Whelk are having a face-off, and all MAGIC IS BREAKING LOSE BECAUSE HE'S THE MAGICIAN (as I've been told by many sources, I still have only read the first book)!!

After I glued all of the pages onto the smaller pieces of cardboard, I dyed them with food coloring!! I had no idea this would work, but thanks to YouTube, it worked so much better than trying to paint, and the colours turned out amazing!!

From left to right on the top row: Ronan, Noah (before tea wash), Adam, Gansey and the bottom one is Blue's!

Here's Noah's after being tea stained, I wanted his to look like it was old and worn, like it was lost in the earth. To make it blotchy, I used the actual tea bag and blotted it on the card like crazy.

I then went on to dye WAY MORE PAGES. It's surprisingly fun.

The Tarot Cards (Roughs)

So, for each tarot card, I created designs, trying to implement the original while making it my own in relation to the character. All of these are sketches, and I honestly might make them real pieces in the future!!

Blue

UGH. I think hers and Noah's might be my favourite designs (I'm very biased tho because I love skulls lol). Each card has an earthy theme, I included lots of flowers and branches!

Adam

Adam's is the closest to the OG tarot card, because I felt like it was so iconic I couldn't change much to the design. That's probably why his is my least favourite design LOL.

Gansey

Ngl, I really like the symbolism on this one. If you were to pull it in reverse it would be Gansey with the crown floating above his head, like it's his and he's close to reaching his goal.

Noah

OKAY, BUT LIKE GUYS, THIS IS AHGSSGSGHSH. Like???? I love him so much. I put him in a saint pose, like those you see sculptures in churches posing in or paintings of saints. But I love him so much.

Ronan

I love the vibe his card gives off. It's very contemplative and moody, just like him.

I love how all of the designs turned out, but I unfortunately only had time to make one, Ronan's!

Ronan's Card

To make Ronan's cutout, I cut pieces of different stained pages into the shapes I needed (like his shirt and his head), and I then drew on it with an ink pen. It was really difficult to make everything the correct size because of the way I did his card, so this alone took me an hour to do. Think of him like a paper dress-up doll, LOL.

THE FINAL

FINALLY HOLY CRAP. I'm running out of photo room for the post, so I'll make it brief here but post more on a different thread!!

Anyway, I'm going to make all of them into cards now that school's over, and I'll update y'all when I'm done!!

I just wanna give a really big shoutout to everyone who helped me decide which tarot cards to give to each character, especially @screechin-outloud! They went into so much depth without spoiling the book, and I APPRECIATE YOU!! I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!!

And if you made it down this far, thank you for reading all of this!! :)

#the raven cycle #the raven boys #ronan lynch #adam parrish #gansey #noah czerny #blue sargent #fanart #raven boys fanart #raven cycle fanart

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thrawns-backrest · 7 months

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This took ages and it's far from perfect but I'm glad to have it posted at last. Btw if you're new here and maybe want to read a fic which speculates what could have happened to Ronan in the Ascendancy, please consider giving this one a go. (ch 1 here)

Title: Buried in Ice

Characters: Ronan, Ba'kif and others

Chapters: 5/?

Summary: Ronan adjusts to life with the Chiss when a sudden revelation leads him to realize that his fate is not as firmly in his hands as he'd thought it was.

___

“Your drink, General.”

Ba’kif smiled and accepted the steaming cup from the server. “Thank you.”

Throwing another quick look at the door, he settled back into his seat and let the smell of honey and herbs wash over him.

It was a nice place, he had to admit. Close enough to EDF headquarters for his uniform to be recognized while not drawing too much attention and the staff were pleasant.

He had refrained from visiting before Thrawn’s exile, reluctant to intrude on another’s memory, but he could see the appeal and why Thrawn had been so fond of it as to recommend it.

And funnily enough, the man who had recommended the place was also the reason Ba’kif was there today, albeit in a bizarrely roundabout way.

The thought drew his attention back to his questis and Ba’kif frowned privately into his cup.

The hardships that came with being Thrawn’s superior officer had of course not tarnished his opinion of the man. He still respected Thrawn on many accounts. He respected him as a tactician. As a warrior. Respected him for his courage and stoicism and even simply for the man he was, quietly dedicated and honorable in his own way.

But that said, he recognized that Thrawn had his flaws. It was his job to keep an eye on those flaws. And Thrawn could sometimes be blind to the ways he affected people, be it infecting them with reckless zeal, civilians and even children running headlong into danger for his sake, or simply… breaking them.

For all the respect he felt for Thrawn, Ba’kif decided as he skimmed over his notes, he felt an equal responsibility to put patches where the power he’d placed in his hands had punched holes.

In this case Thrawn had trusted Ba’kif to guide Brierly’ro’nan into a position where he would be most useful to the Ascendancy. And so far his predictions for how it would play out had been frighteningly accurate:

Assistant Director Ronan is a man who thrives on purpose and action. Once he is cut off from them you will find him more open to suggestion and that is where his energy and ambition will be liable for us to employ in the right direction.

Ba’kif closed his eyes and sighed to himself. From an outside perspective it was a cruel and calculating thing to do. He wasn’t sure if the fact that Thrawn didn’t mean it as such helped the case.

It certainly didn’t make a difference for Lyron, he thought as he remembered the play of helplessness and desperation on the human’s face. Lyron was trying to cope with his circumstances as best he could and Ba’kif hoped he wouldn’t come out too damaged from it. Not because it would affect his usefulness to the Ascendancy but simply for the sour taste it would leave in Ba’kif’s mouth.

Indeed, it was not in Ba’kif’s nature to take any responsibility given to him lightly. Nor was he the only one displeased by Thrawn’s actions.

“He never told me that,” Ar’alani growled lowly, crossing her arms over her chest. There was a small crease between her eyebrows that Ba’kif had come to associate with stress, though they saw each other so rarely these days.

He sympathized with her, he really did. Indeed, the news that the instructions Thrawn had left for Ba’kif differed from the ones he’d given her personally must have stung. Especially for her, the person Thrawn had always gone to first when he needed an ally or coconspirator. Or at least so they thought.

“I suspect he knew you would be angry about it and refuse to take Lyron on board.” Ba’kif shrugged, placing his cup back in its saucer.

“Typical…” Ar’alani shifted angrily in her seat. “You know, I hate it when he plays his little mind games on us.”

“He doesn’t mean anything malicious by it. But Thrawn is Thrawn and you know he won’t start changing now.”

“Do you think he’ll stop confiding in us completely one day?”

“I doubt it. He loves explaining himself too much for that.”

Ar’alani’s gaze stopped to linger on him and he watched the worry lines on her face deepen.

“I hope you’re right, Ba’kif.” She shook her head.

“You think things will end badly if he does?” ‘Do you really think we’re making a difference in the outcome of his plans?’ was the real question lurking beneath.

Ar’alani considered it and by the end, her lips had pressed into a thin line.

“I fear we may not see a catastrophe nearing if it comes to that.”

Ba’kif ignored the small twinge of disappointment in his gut. For all that it was an adequate answer, it still didn’t answer his question. Of whether they would even be able to stop Thrawn’s plans if they wanted to.

There was a small chime as the door to the establishment opened and Ba’kif let the memory dissipate as he straightened in his seat and watched the head secretary of his new bureau sashay into the bistro.

Not a minute too early, he noted with amusement. Some would be appalled by the breach of etiquette knowing who Lyron was meeting with.

“General,” Lyron greeted curtly as he took the seat opposite Ba’kif’s, rearranging the skirts of his robes in the process.

“Secretary Lyron.” Ba’kif smiled politely. “I trust this meeting finds you well?”

As usual, his entrance turned quite a few heads but Lyron took it all in stride, chin raised high and his questis held imperiously in front of him. All things considered, the human bounced back surprisingly quickly but Ba’kif didn’t let that lure him into a sense of complacency.

There was always a chance for these meetings to go awry. So far they had been productive but troubling results and reactions were not out of the question. Lyron’s adjustment and overall assessment were still far from over and until they were, Ba’kif would tread with caution.

And bias if need be.

“Well enough,” the human huffed. “Any news from the front?” Lyron asked as he settled in in the chair opposite him and Ba’kif took the opportunity to run a furtive glance over him, noting any signs of improved health he could recognize. The difference in species made the task tricky but some things were thankfully universal.

“Only good ones,” he said at length. “We’ve managed to push the enemy to the very edge of our territories.”

Lyron gave him a doubtful look, raising one sharp eyebrow. “But they’re bound to return?”

Ba’kif’s smile turned wry.

Briefly, he considered lying but decided against it in the end. Lyron had been aboard the Steadfast long enough to know how this war worked. Trying to mislead him now would only make them seem insecure about their position.

“Sure as the sun rises. But I wouldn’t worry, secretary. Sooner or later our enemy will discover that the longer they tangle with us, the closer they come to their undoing.”

“You sound sure of it.”

“I am. And so was Senior Captain Thrawn.”

Lyron’s reaction was not one he expected as instead of showing relief, the human’s face contorted in a grimace.

“Does anyone here ever express an opinion that’s not Thrawn’s?” he groaned and Ba’kif found himself amused again, despite everything.

“Oh, quite a few, believe me.” He grinned. “In fact, I’m quite sure there’s a great many who would let him speak only to contradict him.”

“Sounds more up my alley.”

“Does it? You’ve worked with him before. Would you really say he’s wrong more often than he is right?”

“Maybe not. But spite and pettiness have their own appeal. Or are the Chiss above such things?”

Ba’kif suppressed a wince. “Not at all, unfortunately.”

“Tell me secretary,” he said after a while, keeping his tone casual, “do you find your work for the Mediation Bureau satisfying so far?”

“You could say so, I suppose.”

Ba’kif shifted ever so subtly, moving closer to Lyron.

“And would you agree that the Bureau’s goals ultimately coincide with yours?”

Lyron’s eyes narrowed and Ba’kif watched closely as his alertness shot up. They had danced this dance before. They both knew the steps.

“So far our interests align, yes.”

“Then would you say you are willing in the work you provide for us?”

That earned him a sigh and an eye roll.

“As willing as someone who had little choice in the matter.” Lyron’s shoulders stiffened into a defensive line. “I agree on our common goals but I would much rather serve the Empire directly.”

“So your primary loyalty lies with the Empire.”

“Of course.”

“Yet your Empire does not seem to think very highly of us.”

Hesitation. A flash of panic. Lyron could see the trap but he couldn’t hide from it. Not when there was no doubt Ba’kif had read Ar’alani’s report from her joint mission with the Chimaera.

“They don’t know the Chiss as well as I do,” he tried tentatively. Then switched to a more offensive tactic. “Your beloved Thrawn serves the Acsendancy first and foremost. Am I to be begrudged for doing the same?”

“Not at all.” Ba’kif assured him. “But it does raise some questions.”

“Ah,” Lyron smiled wryly. “Now we get to the point.”

Indeed we do, Ba’kif thought to himself and shifted in his seat once again, rearranging his position. Not too close to intrude on Lyron’s personal space but close enough as to make the cramped surface of the table feel even more cramped.

His hands rested comfortably next to his drink, fingers intertwined and pointed in Lyron’s direction, and he took note of the way Lyron’s crossed arms pressed closer to his chest in response.

“Say that you return to your Empire one day,” he said evenly, light and hypothetical. “Be it with our blessing or by chance. And say that by that time your Empire has decided to take a hostile stance towards the Ascendancy. Would you assist them in their effort to use your association with us?”

Lyron blinked at him.

“You mean would I cooperate if they interrogated me?”

Ba’kif smiled indulgently.

“That’s a good place to start.”

___

Ronan’s mind swerved and skidded as Ba’kif stared at him, waiting for a response.

Kriff. He’d been letting his guard down at these meetings lately. Getting comfortable. As though Ba’kif didn’t drag him out to them specifically to ask uncomfortable questions.

“Stalling with silence is not very polite in our society,” Ba’kif chided and Ronan scoffed to himself.

“My apologies, I didn’t realize thinking before speaking was specific to my kind.”

Ba’kif shrugged and waved a hand cordially.

“We prefer to stall by talking. It’s less telling.”

“I’m sure I’ve said this before but my language skills are not quite up to par yet.”

“See? You’re already learning.”

His irritation spiked and he glared at the general, the man’s composure and cheer about as immovable as a block of stone. Ba’kif may seem well-meaning at first glance but Ronan knew they wouldn’t be going anywhere until he got his answer.

And this was the worst time for him to latch on to this line of questioning.

Things had been going well for Ronan lately. He’d been getting better at his job, heck he’d been getting good at it. He even found himself tolerating his new colleague, Rhiuh’vek, a long forgotten merit adoptive of the Boadil who wasn’t satisfied with his standing in life and had decided to drop that allegiance in favor of a post in the bureau.

He was the epitome of the perpetually harried low ranking administrator and he and Ronan had found a camaraderie in bemoaning the pettiness and hypocrisy of the officers they dealt with on a daily basis.

Now though Ba’kif was opening a whole new can of hypothetical worms.

‘With our blessing or by chance’ Ba’kif had said. Conveniently omitting the possibility of Ronan returning without their blessing and by design. Essentially Ronan was still as stuck here as he was before.

Which merited the question of what would happen to him if he were still around and such hostilities happened to break out… but of course, he wasn’t the one asking the questions here.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he sighed finally, running a hand through his hair. “You know your own people and how devoted they are to the Ascendancy. Our Emperor -” Ronan’s mouth scrunched as if he’d just eaten something rotten, “- expects the same loyalty from his subjects. You of all people, should understand what that means.”

“And that is why I’m asking you these things. Others’ loyalties do not preclude mine.”

“So what, you expect me to stay silent? You think they will not poke and prod until they get what they want? I’m not ISB General,” Ronan scoffed although Ba’kif was unlikely to know what he meant by that. Or maybe he did. Who knew how much information Thrawn was feeding his people. Never mind that Ronan was expected to hold on to Chiss secrets while Thrawn was free to share imperial ones.

“I do not have torture and interrogation training…” he finished crossly.

“Maybe you won’t need it,” Ba’kif suggested. “Maybe you could lie and convince them they don’t need to resort to such methods.”

“You don’t understand,” Ronan said, getting desperate. “Lord Vader – any Force user – can detect lies. With Thrawn sending his people in secret, we would already be under suspicion to begin with.”

He leaned back in his seat and shook his head. The fact that he’d just called himself one of ‘Thrawn’s people’ didn’t make him feel any better.

“I’d be killed on the spot,” he said with quiet resignation. “The Empire doesn’t tolerate treason. Not with rebel activity poisoning its peace every hour of every day.”

Ba’kif went quiet then and Ronan was thankful for the small interlude while he got his thoughts in order.

“These rebels of yours,” Ba’kif hummed thoughtfully when he finally spoke again. “What are they fighting for?”

It was like a jolt of electricity had been sent up Ronan’s spine and he straightened in his seat, feeling a new surge of zeal.

“They’re after power,” he spat. “Those worlds have been in the Republic for decades but now they wish to disrupt the carefully built system of trade and cooperation and hoard resources for themselves.”

He jabbed at the table as he spoke and noted the way Ba’kif followed his every move.

“They claim they can do better for themselves without the Empire yet they don’t realize it was the Empire that made the strength and stability necessary for their rebellion possible in the first place. It’s madness honestly. A terrorist movement, plain and simple.”

He took a moment to wind down as he waited for Ba’kif’s reaction. Then Ba’kif’s lips twitched, as though suppressing a smile.

“And here I thought you said your Cheunh wasn’t up to par. That was quite eloquent if I do say so myself,” the general said and Ronan drew back as though he’d been slapped.

But despite his initial shock… Ba’kif was right. He hadn’t stumbled over his words once during that rant, even the more difficult sounds rolling off his tongue with ease. The compliment curdled however, when Ronan considered just what Ba’kif was after here.

Of course it would benefit Ba’kif to point out how quickly he was assimilating into their society. It was yet another tactic in a long line of attempts to influence Ronan’s thinking and make him more amenable to the idea of changing his loyalties altogether.

It wouldn’t be the first time Ba’kif elicited a strong reaction from him only to turn the conversation on its head and make it about his motivations and abilities. Ronan rolled his eyes in his mind. Ba’kif wasn’t actually interested in the Empire’s problems. He was merely looking for a way to harness Ronan’s drive for his precious Ascendancy. Just as he’d been doing from the very beginning.

And he was about to say so when something suddenly changed in the Chiss’ face and Ronan found himself pinned down by that same intensity he remembered from their conversation in Ba’kif’s office.

“I strongly believe that when the time comes for us to face the Grysks’ full might,” Ba’kif began in a quiet voice, “your Empire and its rebels will set their differences aside and work together. As will my people and yours. Adversity has a way of doing that.”

His gaze held Ronan’s, steady and unyielding.

“If we are to survive that assault however we need to be strong enough. Both our worlds. Thrawn is seeing to that in the Empire and you and Vanto, and whoever else he sends our way, will need to see to that here.” Ba’kif finished and Ronan swallowed through a dry throat, still pinned to his seat as though transfixed.

Because this was another thing Ba’kif was good at. Chipping away at your defenses, speaking with such conviction that you felt your doubts washing away along with a slow surging desire to trust him.

He swallowed again, this time more tentatively.

“Do you really think a few humans can make a difference?” he asked before he could stop himself. Ba’kif nodded.

“If Thrawn thinks so,” he said gravely, “then yes.”

And just like that, the whole thing came crashing down.

Ronan groaned, feeling the sudden need to roll his eyes again and maybe rip them out of their sockets. “And here we are, back where we started…” he despaired.

Ba’kif did something that surprised him then – he leaned back in his seat and gave a full throaty laugh. It caught Ronan so off guard that he all but jumped out of his chair and could only stare at the man opposite him.

He had never heard the Chiss general laugh before… He found that he didn’t mind the sight at all.

Later that evening found him in his office again, still mulling over the events of their meeting.

He’d spent the last two hours of his shift dealing with the case of a Dasklo upstart who’d stepped on the toes of some senior officer. Ronan had listened to the young Junior Captain bemoan the case extensively, elaborating on the two families’ history and all the circumstances surrounding the accident.

A stark contrast to the distrustful looks and standoffish attitude he’d gotten in his first months here. But then again, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Chiss were more receptive to him when he was there to solve their problems.

Same stuff, different packaging, he reminded himself as he put a data cylinder away for safe keeping.

He had just transferred some files to his questis, planning to take them to his modest accommodations for perusal, when he heard the office hatch open and close in the quiet of the filing room.

It gave him some pause – it was nearly the end of their shift and Rhiuh’vek had already left a while ago – and he peered around the door with a frown.

Only to find an important looking Chiss at his desk, his long chiseled face turned in Ronan’s direction and glaring at him.

In the end, after wracking his brains for a while, he managed to pinpoint the man’s identity though he’d gleaned it more from the sun shaped ornaments in his hair than from anything else.

“Patriarch Mitth'urf'ianico,” he said in a bored tone. “My apologies, Your Venerante, we weren’t prepared to receive you.” He gestured to the obvious lack of refreshments.

The words sent another frown skittering across that severe face and Ronan steeled himself as he took a seat behind his desk.

This should be a pleasant conversation…

___

If there was any way Ba’kif had expected his evening to end, it certainly wasn’t this one. But he supposed finding a disgruntled Patriach in his office was a far better outcome than some of the scenarios he’d run into in the past, especially since the start of the war.

“I just had a talk with your new secretary,” Thurfian said without much preamble, as Ba’kif took a seat in his chair.

“You’ve noticed something that concerns you?” Ba’kif raised an eyebrow, lacing his fingers together in front of him.

“What I noticed,” Thurfian bit back, “was his utter lack of reverence.”

“Really? Did he act disrespectfully?”

“No. But he certainly didn’t show any notable respect either.”

Ba’kif shrugged innocently. “Now I’m just confused, Your Venerante.”

That, of course, didn’t go down well with the other man but Ba’kif reasoned it wouldn’t do to get carried away with dancing around each other. Best nudge Thurfian to say what he was there for outright and annoying him was a surefire way to do that.

And lo and behold, after stewing in his irritation a while longer, Thurfian seemed to switch back to business.

“There are many who object to his presence here,” he said lowly, holding Ba’kif’s gaze. “Even more so to his position.”

“His assessment so far hasn’t yielded anything troubling.” Ba’kif unlaced his fingers to gesture casually. “And he’s proved himself capable for his position. He’s the one that sniffed out your instigators, in fact.” He added for good measure but the words had an opposite effect as Thurfian’s face paled.

“The Thuf case?” he asked hoarsely.

“Indeed.”

“You allow him such insight into our affairs?” The Patriarch’s voice took on an angry note.

“I was testing him,” Ba’kif countered. “Besides, you’d long figured it out and were already taking action when you asked my opinion.”

“That’s hardly relevant,” Thurfian snapped. “Feeding our secrets to foreigners…We are in no position to take such risks.”

“Neither can we afford to waste time on petty family squabbles.”

“That we agree on,” Thurfian nodded, conciliatory. “But surely there are thousands of our own people you can choose from.”

“None of them as neutral in the matter of family politics as he is,” Ba’kif said. “But the point is that he’s showing results and that’s all that matters.”

At that, Thurfian’s gaze turned icy and Ba’kif leaned back in his chair, feeling triumphant.

Now that, they both knew to be a lie.

Thrawn had shown results too, he had put results above everything in fact, and he’d still been removed. But that’s because Thrawn had broken tangible rules in the process, Ba’kif thought to himself.

Here, there was nothing the Syndicure could latch on to. Lyron’s presence and work for the Ascendancy didn’t break any rules because they were unprecedented – there simply were no rules in place to break.

Thurfian’s arms were tied.

Check mate, Ba’kif thought smugly to himself and watched the calculated play of emotions on Thurfian’s face shift until they settled into grudging defeat.

“We will discuss this again at length, General.” Thurfian said in a tone that promised retribution before rising from his chair.

“Of course, Your Venerante.” Ba’kif stood to accompany his guest to the door but Thurfian waved him away irritably.

“I know my way out.”

As the hatch hissed shut behind him with finality, plunging the office into silence, Ba’kif remained seated at his desk, soaking it up and rocking back and forth as he contemplated the implications of what had just happened.

Thurfian was an old foe for lack of a better word. Ba’kif was well aware that much of the machinations that had led to Thrawn’s exile had been orchestrated by his hand and had to suppress the bitterness he felt at the fact.

Now, the man had shown his hand once again and though Ba’kif couldn’t say he was surprised, there was no use getting tangled up in personal sentiments.

At the end of the day, Thurfian was a good politician. Maybe even a good Patriarch. Unfortunately, he could not see that the ideas he advocated for were harmful, though of course, only time would tell which one of them was right. All Ba’kif could do now was what the military had taught him all these years: pick a side and dig in.

As for Lyron, he thought uneasily and felt the sudden need to get up and stretch his legs, Lyron’s future remained as much of a question mark as ever.

“A sour taste indeed…” he muttered to himself in the dark, looking out the window spanning the wall of his office. The artificial lights outside flickered and fluctuated as he tucked a few darker scenarios back to the recesses of his mind where they’d sprung from.

He could only hope that this time, like many others before, Thrawn’s calculations would prove to be right…

___

taglist: @vibratingskull @labextia

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#thrawn #thrawn ascendancy #thrawn trilogy #thrawn books #thrawn treason #brierly ronan #ba'kif #and a surprise cameo read to find out lol

18 notes · View notes

adamsrcnan · 2 years

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Hii! I absolutely loved your analysis about Ronan and Adam in TRK 🥹 I haven’t read the Dreamer Trilogy yet, so I don’t know if it might be said there — but I wanted to ask, what do you think are the things that made Ronan fall for Adam so hard?

Oh man this is such a good question and makes me feel so many things just thinking about the answer ! I'm also so honoured you asked me for my take !!

Honestly i could probably wax poetic about how it was love at first site for Ronan bc he is So Gay and Adam is So Beautiful but i think what it ultimately comes down to is that i think Adam lets him be himself.

One of the biggest struggles we see Ronan go through in the entire series is the question of what he wants to do with his life. He's always adamant that he does not want to go to school and be a 9-5 office man or anything that would be expected of someone from his assumed background. And Adam never pushes or encourages Ronan to be something he's not.

One of my favourite pynch moments is when Adam tells Gansey he can't kill Ronan's demons. I think it's sums up what i'm trying to say perfectly. I'm sorry i'm not the best person at analysing text and characters but i think the moment really speaks for itself. (I'm pretty sure there's also a scene in trb where Adam tells Declan he and Gansey can't make Ronan care about school, but correct me if i'm wrong.)

Adam gets Ronan in a way i think Gansey never did and i think even though it's not outright said in the text it's reflected in their relationship throughout the series. The way they will always argue (as mentioned by Gansey) but they also have always been playful i.e dragging each other on moving dollys and pushing each other about in shopping carts. They know when to be serious and they know when to be playful. They sort of balance each other out so beautifully. And i think Ronan has a unique respect for Adam's qualities that are maybe seen as flaws or "scary" from other characters and i think this also draws him in more as the story progresses. Because Ronan is not normal and we see Adam become not normal also from his deal with Cabeswater and i think Ronan likes that.

Now that i think about it this also ties really well into what we see in the dreamer trilogy and i sooo badly want to talk about it but i know you haven't read it yet so i will hold my tongue. But i think even though the pynch we see in there is minimal their dynamic is really reflected and displayed well as events progress (for me personally anyway).

TLDR; i think what draws Ronan so much to Adam is the way he treats him and never asks him to be anything other that what and who he is.

#idk maybe someone else has something more indepth they can say about this #but for me this has always been the solid foundation of what makes pynch such a GOOD couple #god i love them so much #thank you so much for asking me about my thoughts on this!!!!#ronan lynch #adam parrish #pynch #trc #asks

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friendofcars · 10 months

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Hey, long time no see, mask dream anon here. I've been reading your analysis again and trying to put my thoughts down, which is partially just commenting "yes" and partially maybe actual, productive thoughts that I may put into a response (but I need to think more about the everything of it). I got hung up on one tiny bit in the analysis, right at the beginning in the context of niall: "perceived imbalanced devotion in relationship." Could you maybe expand on that? I'm not sure I understand the context to niall specifically. Thanks in advance and hope you have nice week!

hello! absolutely- i think i originally planned to write more about niall and then never came back to that point, which might be why i brought that up with zero context lol. thanks for the opportunity to keep rambling about this.

have you read greywaren? i'm about to spoil some details in my explanation.

i'm talking about niall and mór's relationship as described in greywaren (mainly in chapter 28). there are some parallels between niall/mór and ronan/adam, and what i was thinking about in that particular paragraph was how niall experiences a myriad of intense emotions, which ronan inherits because niall dreams them into him. (mór dreams pain into him, which i think is a metaphor for intergenerational trauma, but that's a whole other thing that i haven't thought enough about to properly discuss yet). mór admits to niall that she thinks she doesn't experience such feelings, and she often acts out what she thinks are socially appropriate emotions rather than actually experiencing them the way niall does, which causes niall to question the authenticity of their romantic relationship, hence the "perceived imbalance devotion."

experience of a particular emotion or intensity of an emotion =/= devotion to another person (i do not intend to criticize mór for specifically having low empathy at all- i have criticisms of her, but that is not one of them.) but what i'm focusing on in the above passage is niall's insecurity rather than mór's actions.

(while adam differs from mór in critical ways, he also often behaves as he thinks he should according to social convention/masks heavily. he's, at some points in both series, a flight risk. he's meticulous and methodical, especially in contrast to his reckless partner.)

i'm speculating a bit on this next point, but even though adam isn't necessarily cold and formal to ronan in the way that he is around their aglionby classmates, for example, i think ronan picks up on adam's potential to lapse into aloofness and thinks there is no way adam could possibly feel as intensely about ronan as ronan does about adam. adam doubts his dreaming and scoffs at him. when he dreams, ronan can't communicate effectively/express himself to dreamt versions of adam. he's afraid of disconnection. so the parallels i'm drawing between ronan's perception of his relationship (in trc at least) and niall's perception of his may be a bit wonky, but i included that phrase to reference the fact that ronan's intense capacity for love is inherited, and this affects his relationships in specific ways explored in the nightmare.

did that make sense? happy to explain more if you'd like! and i hope you have a nice week as well. :)

#rchl #ask #trc

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therubyreader · 11 months

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My Review of The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater

See a full list of my book reviews here

*Disclaimer: there will be spoilers later on in the review*

Review Word Count, non-spoiler: 752 Review Word Count Total: 1,436

I have done it again folks, I’m writing the review of this book right after I finished it. Can I get a round of applause? Now I was kind of on the fence about writing this review, I honestly wasn’t sure how many people cared (myself included) but my friend who recommended me the series, [insert name here, don’t want them to get doxxed or anything], encouraged me to write this after reading my review of the first book (click here to read it if you’re interested). They did also say, and this is an exact quote, “I forget that you’re like a good writer dude,” so there is that.

The Dream Thieves takes us back right, kind of, to where we left off in The Raven Boys after the boys plus Blue managed to wake up the ley line and Ronan has let the gang (real quick, do they have an official name because if not I'm going to keep finding new and creative ways to say “group”) know that he’s able to take stuff out of his dreams. Now that his secret is out Ronan starts to learn more about his powers, along with the consequences of using them, while hunters are looking for the Greywaren, believing it is an artifact that makes dreams a reality as opposed to a person. The squad are also experiencing the effects of waking the ley line, Adam is learning what his sacrifice means while they try to recover Cabeswater, the magic place in the middle of the woods, that has mysteriously disappeared.

While, in comparison to the first book, we don’t spend the entire first half waiting for something to happen, there were parts where I kind of sped through them since they weren’t directly linked to the plot until much later. I honestly should’ve learned my lesson and paid attention to everything because I know from the first book every detail was going to come back later, but I am known to have a horrible track record of not learning from my past mistakes, so I didn’t. But it wasn’t that big of a deal with this book because everything had already been established so most of what was going on was able to hold my attention while actively advancing the plot.

I think that the biggest change from this book to the first one is that we see more into the mental state of the posse than we did in the first one. There are a lot of things going on in their lives along with the search for Glendower that is impacting their mental health, and it’s expected that a couple of breakdowns are bound to happen, especially when it comes to teenagers. We see this the most with Adam and Ronan, Adam because he has gone through a lot in a short amount of time, leaving an abusive home, the discovery of Cabeswater, and his financial issues on top of what his sacrifice really means. Ronan, on the other hand, same soup from the first book just reheated (we actually get a look into his mind). I think this was a wonderful addition to the book, usually the mental health and struggles of characters in books is overlooked or just not expanded on properly. These kids have to deal with this magical mystery on top of being kids with real problems and they are obviously going to take a toll on their mental health.

I think my biggest complaint with this series is how drawn out everything is, and I get it, Gansey has been looking for Glendower for seven years, this is going to take a bit of time, but I just think everything could move slightly faster. And this is totally my own problem, and it’s the author’s writing style to add details and draw out story lines (which is very good writing by the way) but I, as you may have noticed, have the attention span and need of instant gratification of an iPad kid. I think since the plot is advancing and getting really juicy now leading into the third book (which I already have by the way, so if people (my friend) are still interested I’ll get that review up as soon as I finish it) I’m going to complain less about the pacing. Overall, a solid continuation of the series, again not my favorite book ever of all time but I’m enjoying the series as a whole and I’m going to finish it.

Spoilers Below!!

One quick thing I’m going to say before I start talking about the plot points is that I read the scene where Ronan admits he’s gay to Kavinsky (who I’m pretty sure is gay too and has a crush on Ronan) on the first day of pride month, so happy pride everyone!

There’s honestly a lot of the plot I want to mention so I’m going to rapid fire some of the smaller plot points right now before I get into the meat. First, the kiss between Blue and Noah was actually very cute and sad, shout out to Noah for being a good friend about it and letting Blue have a kiss that won’t kill anyone and shout out to Blue for managing to pull every single guy in that crew except for gay icon Ronan. The almost kiss between Blue and Gansey was cute and sad also but for different reasons mainly because she’s going to kill Gansey. Calla, Persephone, and Maura beloved. Matthew beloved. Literally everything in the Barns is so strange that I won’t even attempt to get into it in this post, but just know I’m thinking about it. The whole Kavinsky thing too, how many dreamers are there? Why him? How does dream land work? Did he really commit suicide? Was he in love with Ronan? What was up with that “with me or against me” nonsense? Also, what happened to the dragon and dream horror after their epic showdown?

Ok, cool, now that that’s out of the way let’s talk about Adam. I know this is bad, I have to give props for the way that his mental health struggle is written. I mean the internal battle between the violence he inherited from his dad and his need to be better only being exacerbated by his sacrifice to the ley line was such a beautiful arc in like a twisted way. It felt really real and raw and I enjoyed reading his chapters and seeing his growth as a character from a scared boy to the magician was probably my favorite part of the book.

Alongside that Ronan’s arc was also very similar with him learning his father was also a dreamer and his mother was a dream he brought to life which kind of reminds me of that old Reddit post about Ogtha the roach if anyone knows what I’m talking about. I also want to know if Declan is also a dreamer, because there is only one Graywaren and its Ronan, and maybe also Matthew as since they’re the products of a dreamer and a dream. That whole thing is bonkers and I’m excited to see how this plot point evolves over the course of the next two books.

Lastly, I didn’t get the point of the Gray Man. I know he’s supposed to be strange and mysterious but he was too strange and mysterious to the point where I didn’t understand why he was needed in the book at all besides to be in love with Maura and talk about her feet too often, which like I get is supposed to be some sort of metaphor for them being opposites or whatever, but like dude, get some hobbies. Maybe this is because I speed read through his chapters because I didn’t like him so I didn’t get it or they’re going to expand on his character in future books but he was easily the worst part of the book. I hope for less of him in the future and if they give Maura a love acute angle (because its technically not a triangle if you think about it) with the Gray Man and Blue’s dad I will riot, on God.

Anyways, if my friend commands it, I will be back for a book three review in the coming days, I will admit I did read the first chapter already because I have no self-control. Unfortunately, the fourth book is currently unavailable so I have it on hold which is going to make me slow my roll at least a little. Until the third book!

#val’s book reviews #the dream thieves #raven cycle #the raven cycle #the raven boys #maggie stiefvater

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oddsconvert · 2 years

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hello there! i'm sorry if this has already been asked, but do you have any visuals for Izaak and Ronan from 'A Taste of Your Own Medicine'? or descriptions of their appearances? and would you be okay if someone tried drawing them? - @emmettnet

Hai!! Ahh no, you're all good! I've not been asked before! 🥺♥️

I don't have any faceclaims or visuals just yet but I do have some basic descriptions as an idea of what they look like! (If that's any help at all ahaha I'm so sorry it's not much!)

Izaak:

He's tall, toned with a little bit of muscle and broad shoulders, so in quite peak physical shape and he has tanned, light brown skin. A chiseled jaw line and mid-length, wavy, dark brown hair (when it's so dark people sometimes mistake it for black) and a short, stubbly beard. He's got narrow brown eyes.

Ronan:

Very similar in body shape and build to Izaak. But taller by a few inches, he has fair skin and short, yet tousled jet black hair. With hooded green eyes.

*adding mah boi Henley for good measure 😌*

Henley:

Henley is tall (but smaller than the other two) and quite thin and lanky - malnourished. His hair is blonde, curly and long down to his shoulders now. Quite unkempt. He's got wide green eyes.

And it is MORE than okay if anyone wanted to try drawing them! I'd literally be blown away by the idea that someone wants to! 😭 I may try and get some piccrews out or faceclaims at some point for more clarification! ♥️

#ty so much for the ask 🥺🥰#A Taste of Your Own Medicine #answered asks #whump oc #ATOYOMAsks #ATOYOMFanart

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bookwyrminspiration · 4 months

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You are like a book character thats just. Yeah what did i expect from a name like that bnfjfjfjf

Yo on the reading tho!?? I feel the revitalized pjo interest im staring at my pjo books like. Soon soon i will get to u (THO IM MISSING A FEW OF THEM AND I DONT KNOW WHERE THEYVE GONE. THEYVE BEEN STOLEN I SWEAR) i actually have been trying to read actual books again and!!! I finished one finally!!! Only took me like a month bmgkfkfk i finished call down the hawk and my local library is ab to murder me for how long ive had it-

Dude okay so i work at a movie theater right and ive wanted to see boy and the heron so badly ive just been so busy im staring at it and like ten other movies like pls i need free time. Other than that i got baldurs gate 3 and have been wandering through a world download for a minecraft series i like. And im once again cursed by my inability to finish fics so my solution is write all of it then post and now i have like two 15k wips just sitting in my notes app ive been trying to finish for like two years T-T

I've read so many books I've started to become them, and honestly? There are worst fates. I think I'd make a good like...wise character. Like the one the main character goes to when they have a question and I pull on information I don't explain how I got and set them on their quest or something. Or they discover a cursed magic item and they're like, well Quil probably knows something useful. And then I do.

Anyway! Congrats on the reading! I actually did so much reading, writing, and drawing the past week that I gave myself a headache three days in a row. Like I legit had to just sit for an hour yesterday doing nothing. I've been meaning to read Call Down the Hawk since it came out--I actually started it back then, but for some reason I only got to the part right after the crabs(?) in the dorm where Ronan gets kicked out, and then cries(?) in the garden(?). But I fully intend to return to it, I love the world of trc. And Ronan's my favorite. so.

and the pjo thing!! i've been blasting through them at the rate of about one a day just like oh my god I forgot how much I loved these. the writing style is just so fun. currently half-way through mark of athena, but I had to stop because I do this thing every year where the first book I read is a twilight book for shits and giggles, so I gotta finish life and death before I go back to it (i'm already about 3/4ths of the way done so not a huge detour).

Oh right the boy and the heron! I forgot I mentioned that--I saw it yesterday! I'll admit it did contribute to my headache, because big bright screen in a dark room is...not great. my laptop gives me headaches sometimes, but anyway. I don't think it's my favorite ghibli film, but it had a draw to it. it's quite beautiful, and it's thought provoking in its way. very ghibli-esque.

bg3!! I haven't played myself (doesn't seem my kind of game), but I will admit I did have a few moments of just being enraptured by astarion. which is so cliche of me, but what can I say? his dialogue was funny.

good luck with all of your fics though--I've got a handful that are just waiting to be edited before I post them. but the wings au and then gift exchanges took precedent, so they've been sitting a while. but! those are over now! so I plan to edit and finally post them soon. I've also got this kotlc book 1 but from fitz's pov project in the works I'm very excited to return to :)

anyway, it is very nice to hear from you tater!! giving you the biggest high five rn o7 spicy gatorade or something

#quil's queries #a-lonely-tatertot #long post #fun fact life and death is like the only twiIight book I haven't fully read before #i've read the ending but that's it #it's nearly identical (except for the ending). it's just a genderbend #and it is. wow it's an experience #though it did affirm my gender a little out of nowhere???#one of the minor characters is named quil. and this new she/her quil is the only one who's name stayed identical #everyone else their pronouns and name changed to something else starting with the same letter #but not quil #so. name so gender neutral even smeyer acknowledges it #although there are fewer q names in the first place. but there are others. like quinn #anyway

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witchcrafting-kitten · 2 years

Text

Prettier than the Sunset

Carson Beckett x gn!reader

Summary: you and Carson like each other a lot, and the both of you (ironically) pick the same time to say anything.

Trigger Warnings: fluff, that's about it.

A/N: I'm not very good at writing accents, so Carson's dialogue is gonna look pretty normal.

Also, it's kind of short. Hope you all enjoy it.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Sheppard and McKay were just sitting down for a light dinner when Carson walked in to the cafeteria towards them, looking like a nervous wreck.

"Have either of you two seen Y/N? I want to ask them something," he sounded anxious beyond belief.

"No, not since early this morning. Are you ok?" McKay looked at the doc before catching Sheppard smirking out of the corner of his eye. "Why are you smirking like that?"

"Our dear friend Beckett here has a crush on Y/N. Try asking Ronan where they are. I think I saw them talking to him around lunchtime," Sheppard gave Carson a smile before digging into his food.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Ronan was in the gym, training with a practice dummy. The sound of the doors opening along with a soft knock on the wall turned his attention away from training towards Beckett. "Can this wait a minute?"

"I just wanted to ask if you know where Y/N might be. I had asked Sheppard a little while ago and he said to come to you," Carson gulped, trying to collect his nerves.

"Yeah, they were wondering if I had any idea where a nice quiet spot around here would be. Told them that Teyla likes to go out to one of the balconies from time to time, so they could try that. You finally asking them out?" he asked bluntly.

"I might be," Carson managed to stutter.

"Good luck finding them," Ronan said before turning his attention back to the dummy.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Just like Ronan thought, you were taking in the peace and quiet of one of the balconies. The view made for a wonderful scene to capture in a drawing. Early that morning, you decided today of all days would be the day you finally told Carson how you felt. Little did you realize he was planning the exact same thing.

You had just finished packing up your colored pencils when you heard the door open. You quickly held your sketchbook behind your back and faced a slightly confused looking Carson. "Hi, Carson," a small bit of blush rose in your cheeks.

"I can see why you came to this balcony. The view is amazing," Carson walked over to you. His cheeks had to started to get a little red as he faced the sunset.

It was silent for a few moments before either of you said anything. "Do you want to -," both you started saying in unison.

"You go first," you chuckled.

"No, it's alright. You can go first," Carson grinned.

"By the sounds of it, we were going to say the same thing."

"Do you want to have dinner with me?" He gave her a shy smile.

"Certainly," you smiled widely as you handed him the picture that had been held behind your back this entire time. It was of the sunset.

"This is fantastic. It's just as pretty as the real thing. Certainly not as pretty as the artist who drew it, though," his compliment made your cheeks turn bright red. He took your hand in his with a grin as you both went to the cafeteria for some food.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The End

#carson beckett x reader #carson beckett #stargate atlantis #sga #stargate #stargate atlantis fanfic #y/n fanfic

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theburningocean · 2 years

Text

I have 99 problems and 101 of those could be solved by Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch living the rest of their lives together and their sappy displays of affection making their kids go "Gross!" every single time

said displays of affection:

nose kisses

forehead kisses

Adam's justtt heading out for work and Ronan is like "wait you forgot something" so Adam rushes in, "I knew it i had an ink-" when Ronan pulls him into a hug, drops a quick kiss on the top of his head and then he says "yes, you can go now :]" and Adam says "work can wait" before pulling Ronan down into a kiss (HE WAS EARLY)

It's the weekend and Adam comes into the kitchen- which is streaming with golden light because it's like seven in the morning- to find Ronan cooking. He wraps his arms around Ronan's back and mumbles "good morning" into the back of his his neck and Ronan's cheeks go a little red tinted so their eldest is like "Dad. I'm trying to eat-" at Adam (they've got an early to bed, early to rise family 💔)

When their kids are really young, they love listening to Ronan sing. Adam plays the guitar. So in the evening, when Adam's back from work, they'll all sit in the verandah (WHICH HAS A SWING!!!), Ronan will wear a cowboy hat and they'll bust out cheery tunes. Adam sings, sometimes (the first time Ronan heard his raspy voice humming to Careless Whisper he nearly had a stroke) and the kids are a giggly mess by the end of it Ronan's gaze would happen to snag at Adam's to find him looking back and they just both grin at each other because we have a family

They're the type of parents who allow you a lot of freedom but they somehow also manage to catch you at things you shouldn't be doing and they will make it hell for you

Ronan comes home from an errand one day and he smells something "Adam, what's burning?" Adam, trying and desperately failing to conceal the mess that was supposed to be Ronan's birthday meal: just my love for you, honey The kids, in the back: we are right here must you be so cheesy in front of us Adam: yes

Adam is working on a case one day and Ronan is outside with the kids because it's a pretty day get up get up we're going playing and Adam is like really engrossed in his work. When he finally looks up, it's evening, and the house is deathly silent. "Ronan?" "Kiddos?" He moves around the sofa and is greeted with a someone jumping up and tackling him to the ground (there are mats) screaming "ATTAAAAAAACK!" with Ronan's voice, with more voices joining his (higher pitched ones) and small people piling on top of him, too Adam begins peppering Ronan's face with kisses bc ~revenge~ and the kids are like "Daaaaad >:(" so he tickles them till they can't draw any more breath to giggle Then the whole family sits in Ronan and Adam's bedroom and they watch B99 and eat dinner. It's all very domestic: Adam is lying in Ronan's lap and Ronan's absently running his fingers through his husband's hair, pausing only once- to bend down and kiss his forehead. The tips of Adam's ears definitely don't go red and he definitely does not have a goofy smile on his face for the rest of the episode The kids are too engrossed watching the show to say eww but the middle kid is like I want that one day whenever she sees her parents being all mushy gushy

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kelliealtogether · 2 years

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The thing that gets me about boxes on the lawn is that they're first and foremost best friends, have been for years. They know each other so well and they do this weird dance around something they won't talk about. It just makes me sad. Their friendship suffers because of it and usually Ronan can lean on Adam in darker times and now he can't. Ronan was really shitty to Adam during the fight but I think he must've realised what Adam tried to tell him with the "at least they want me" comment. I feel bad for both of them. I hope they finally get to talk about everything, that Ronan apologises to Adam and that they can build up and restore their friendship again so they have a good base to go to the next step which is long overdue. Ronan needs to get better, Adam needs to work out that those casual relationships won't help him in the long run. Nothing wrong with casual (and I get what Ronan was trying to say in the figh but it was really mean). Adam is trying hard to distract himself and have someone lick his wounds. But he needs to realise that won't do it in the long run. I hope he won't move in with that gf of his. I hope they finally find each other again and can move towards their future together. Sorry for this essay

Their friendship suffers because of it and usually Ronan can lean on Adam in darker times and now he can't.

☝️ This, anon. Ronan has always had Adam there to support him and now he's effectively pushed Adam away. So how is Ronan going to deal with not having that life line he's had for years? Stick around and find out.

Ronan was really shitty to Adam during the fight but I think he must've realised what Adam tried to tell him with the "at least they want me" comment.

He was. And he did.

Ronan needs to get better, Adam needs to work out that those casual relationships won't help him in the long run.

This is the fic wrapped up in a sentence, anon. You have hit the nail on the head.

Adam is trying hard to distract himself and have someone lick his wounds. But he needs to realise that won't do it in the long run. I hope they finally find each other again and can move towards their future together.

They will. Look, it's not going to be easy for them. It's not going to be Ronan saying "I'm sorry" in the next chapter and then everything gets peachy keen and good again. Because that's not realistic. They've got work ahead of them, both individually and together, and that will not go unrecognized. But now they have seen each other in some really, really shitty times and they have been really, really shitty to one another. Ronan was biting to draw blood in that fight. When they come back from that, they'll have a better foundation for what's in store for them ahead.

I appreciate the essay, anon! I think you're picking up what I'm trying to put down with this fic. 😌 I know it's been sad, but the fic has hit rock bottom and brighter days are ahead.

#ask

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morfinwen · 2 years

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For the Fandom Ask Game: The Raven Cycle, Red Vs. Blue, and the Cosmere (feel free to narrow this down to just one series if you need/want), please?

The Raven Cycle

I'm not even going to try to make this explainable to someone who hasn't read the books. Apologies for the incoherence.

favorite character: Richard Campbell Gansey the Third.

least favorite character: Barrington Whelk, devoid of virtually any good traits and holder of several awful ones. Joseph Kavinsky, partially because of his (to me) utterly inexplicable popularity with the fandom, partially because of who he is as a person.

brOTP: Gansey and Ronan. The Gangsey (Gansey, Ronan, Adam, Blue, Noah, and Henry) as a whole.

OTP: Gansey/Blue.

OT3: Not a thing for me.

NOTP: Ronan/Kavinsky. For so many reasons.

favorite storyline: One of my favorite, if not my very favorite recurring element is one or more characters coming to the aid of another, often in a way the other character didn't anticipate -- Ronan facing Adam's dad, Adam saving Ronan, Ronan and Gansey showing up at court for Adam, everyone looking for Blue when she's at Jesse's, everyone showing up when Gansey's underground at the estate, everyone refusing to hurt Adam when he's possessed, etc.

least favorite storyline: I think more could have been done with the demon, frankly.

what I wish had happened but didn’t: I wish there had been more exploration into the "king voice" thing.

what happened that I wish hadn’t: You can try to tell me they all forgot about Noah at the end, but i won't believe you.

Red vs Blue

... Yeah, this isn't going to make a whole lot of sense, either.

favorite character: Leonard Church. Or, more specifically, Alpha!Church and Epsilon!Church, who are effectively the same person. Not including the Director, who is also Leonard Church, and in some ways the same as Alpha and Epsilon, but also not really.

least favorite character: Malcolm Hargraves.

brOTP: Church and Carolina. Almost a literal brOTP.

OTP: Church/Tex and Carolina/York.

OT3: Not a thing.

NOTP: Some ships that are popular in the fandom, but i don't feel strongly negative about any canon ships.

favorite storyline: The Chorus arc is probably my favorite.

least favorite storyline: Well, i stopped watching sometime in season 15. I don't think it's terrible, but it lost my interest and never regained it.

what I wish had happened but didn’t: I would have liked to have seen more of the other AI fragments, especially like what we saw with Epsilon in seasons 12 and 13. A lot more AI bullet time!

what happened that I wish hadn’t: Eh, nothing i feel strongly about.

The Cosmere

Gonna restrict this to The Stormlight Archive.

favorite character: Shallan, followed closely by Kaladin.

least favorite character: Oh, who to pick? There's quite a list. I'll go with Sadeas, but all the prologues have built up Gavilar to be almost as bad (or possibly even worse!).

brOTP: Kaladin and Adolin.

OTP: Shallan/Adolin.

OT3: Nope.

NOTP: Same as above, nothing canon (at the moment) comes to mind.

favorite storyline: Oh, what to pick? I love a lot of things about all of the books, but i think there's something special about Kaladin's arc in the first book. If i could draw or animate or compose music, i would love to do something for the moment where he and the rest of Bridge Four decide to go back for the Kholin army. Just, incredible.

least favorite storyline: Not really a thing.

what I wish had happened but didn’t: Can't think of anything, offhand.

what happened that I wish hadn’t: Poor Elhokar should have had a chance to become a better king. (Not that i think it's bad from a narrative perspective or anything, but the poor guy deserved so much better).

Thanks for asking!

#ask #answer #valiantarcher

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mychemicalrachel · 2 years

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It’s mentioned maybe a few times during magnetic that Ronan used to have friends before the death of his parents and stuff, was there ever a time where he saw any of them after that and just thought about “how far he’s sunk” for lack of a better phrase but you know what Im getting at hopefully

I let this sit in my inbox for awhile because I genuinely didn't know the answer. I never thought about it.

I think, at some point, Ronan definitely saw some of his old friends and had a moment where he thought, "That could've been me, if things had been different," and I think there's a certain wistfulness to it. A nostalgia. An envy. But I don't think he ever thought of it in that way of how far he's sunk.

I'm gonna try to put this into words as best as I can, bear with me...

In one part where he's talking to Leslie, she mentions his choices (drinking, drugs, sex) being things that make him feel grown up. And that's a lot of what it is-- he feels robbed of his childhood and forced to grow up and he envies his old friends for being able to hold onto that juvenile innocence. People his age, especially rich boys at Aglionby, don't understand that pain. He despises them for that and he thinks it draws this kind of barrier between them. He views them as children, even though they're the same age. He feels older. When he sees them at Ninos or around school, he never viewed it as "how far I've sunk" but more of "I could have been like you in a different life but now I'll never be like you."

A lot of the fic is Ronan indulging in this self destructive behavior and he never really views that as a bad thing because he doesn't want anything else.

#magnetic #🖤🖤🖤#gosh i hope this makes sense #i feel like I'm rambling

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hellishmess · 4 years

Text

40: The Wake of Understanding

March 6,2019 2:00 am

[Aspen]

Ana's face rests against the door frame. Puffs of breath can be seen against the glass.

Tonight went way sideways. She saw everything now. The side of us that I didn't want her to know.

She must be terrified, disgusted.

"She's going to hate me." I mutter.

"She's no stranger to death." Shay said, "She will not hate you."

I knew what he meant. Ana told me she’d killed someone in self defense. A man that tried to break into her house and rob her. She was a wreck even just reliving the memory for me.

"This is different. We sought out and killed them. She took life in self defense."

He didn't respond then.

"She will understand that they were void," Maeve added in.

Easy for them to say.

I breath in, watching as darkness speeds by us. If she decides that she can't be with me...

The thought dies. I want to wake her up and apologize. Tell her that I'll do whatever she says to make it up to her.

Can this even be made up?

The thought scared me still. Air stuck in my throat; muscles balled up.

This wasn't a fight. It's not like I forgot her birthday. I killed someone in front of her.

"Just take it one step at a time," Shay said. "She either will understand or she won't. Either way she can't tear herself away from us."

I scoff and bang my head against the window. "You're really bad at giving comforting advice."

"I'm told the effort is what counts."

I look to Maeve, "Quit lying to the vampire. It does no one any good."

She laughs, "If he tries to create a support group I'll cut him down then."

"Whatever," I huff. We're almost to my place. Quiet falls around us. My building was in view.

"I'm hungry." She says, rubbing her stomach.

"Better clean those wounds before you think about cooking anything."

Her middle finger shoots up without her even looking back. "I wouldn't have had these problems if you'd have pulled your weight."

"Fuck off. You handled them fine. I had Ana to look after."

"We're all lucky Ronan wasn't at this camp. Or we'd all be in a shit load of trouble."

She was right about that. With Lewick’s intell, we were drawing closer and closer to Ronan, and, by God, I pray that Ana is far away when we catch him.

Shay slides to a stop in the front of my building. I inhale and glance at Ana. She's still fogging up the window. I reach to nudge her, "Ana?"

"Im up," she says, her voice cold.

My gut twists at the tone in her voice.

Without a word, she gets out. With her arms wrapped around her, she walks up to my door.

I pause beside Maeve's door, unsure of how to handle this.

"It's going to be okay. Just be patient. " Maeve encouraged me forward.

My bottom lip's pressed between my teeth. "Thanks."

Climbing up the stairs towards Ana was hard. Dread drug me down and my stomach only twisted harder as I neared my door. Ana didn't turn to look at me when I opened it.

I locked it behind us, turning to see Ana with her bags in hand. She flings the bedroom door open, slinging open the drawers full of her clothes.

"Ana." I brush her arm to stop her.

She yanks away from me. "Don't touch me!"

I flinch back, giving her space while she continues to throw her things in there.

My mind starts to spin. My fear was right. I hold my hands up in peace. "Ana please."

"No," she shakes her head furiously. "I can't do this right now."

"I told you you weren’t ready. I warned you."

Ana whirls around, her eyes red from held back tears. "You're right. I should have listened to you. But I didn't and now I have to live with the understanding that my girlfriend is a killer. That my friends are killers."

I wince at the animosity of her words. "They were bad guys." I tried to reason with her. "Apart of Ronan’s crew. They weren't good people and they probably killed people themselves."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?! Dog eat dog bullshit," She hisses.

I can feel her pushing me away, see the fear in the back of her eyes. Panic rises up and clouds my judgement.

"Yes!" My voice raises and frustration flushes my body. I make a wide gesture with my hands. "The whole world's a better place without assholes like that and with them gone it's just less man power Ronan has."

"A killer of bad men is still a killer." Ana stops, practically freezes solid as she stares at me. The look in her eye turns my blood cold. "Aspen, you slaughtered those men effortlessly."

Her voice rises to the point where she's yelling, "With a flick of your wrist you killed a man, and then even without your magic, you managed to slit the throat of another right before stabbing him through the temple."

My mouths frozen shut. I can't think of anything to say. What can make this better?

Nothing comes to my rescue.

"I saw the darkness that you own and it scares the shit out of me." Ana blinks like she's clearing the memory away. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Please, Ana! I'd never hurt you. You know that. You know me.”

"I don't know that anymore! I'm just now meeting this part of you!"

I step towards her. "An-"

She takes two steps back. Her arm extended to keep me at bay. "No. Don't come near me."

I stare at her hand. Hurt and angry, I snap out. "I told you. I fucking told you, but you were relentless! I tried to warn you because I knew you wouldn't understand."

"What is there to understand?!" Ana cries looking at me as if she wants to be able to.

She corrects herself, "How can I understand? How am I supposed to rationalize what I just saw? How am I supposed to live knowing that my girlfriend can kill with the same amount of effort it takes me to fold laundry?!"

Swept up in her own emotions, Ana takes a step closer to me. Her tearful eyes pin mine, and my heart breaks even further.

Her lip trembles as she chokes out her next thought. "How can I let you touch me with the exact same hands you used to kill that man? If you can tell me how I'm supposed to do that then I'll stay."

I bite down on my lip. I couldn't think of anything to make this any better. My hands twitched to wipe away her tears, brush her hair back behind her ears, but the knowledge that she'd flinch away holds me back.

Instead, frustration brought my hand through my own hair, trying to control the anger that rose to protect my hurt feelings.

"Exactly." Ana mutters, returning to throwing her clothes in her bags.

"I'm sorry," The words are ripped out of my chest in a plea. "Ana, I'm sorry. Let me make this up to you? I'll do anything. Don’t do this. Please."

She snaps up at me, "This isn't something you can just make up! I can't just forget this. Don't you understand that?"

"No! I don't understand that. Just like you don't get why we had to do what we did."

"Murder is never necessary."

"Oh so what you did wasn't necessary?" The retort was out of my mouth before I knew it.

The air catches in my throat, turning solid.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I can't believe you just said that." Ana gasps.

“I'm sorry." I rush out, "I didn't mean it. It just slipped out and I was trying to get you to understand that-"

Ana turns into the bathroom. "Just don't. Don't say another word. I'm leaving."

"Where will you go? It's dangerous out there and it's late. You can't leave." I say, watching as she shoves her shampoo and conditioner on top of all her clothes.

Ana zipped her bags with force, "Are you going to forcefully keep me here?"

I shake my head. "You know I would never do anything against your will."

"Then I'm leaving." Grabbing her bag, she heads for the door.

"Ana! At least let me escort you to wherever."

"Why? So all the other killers will know I'm already the victim of another fucking murderer?"

I stop. It's another stab. I can't fight with her anymore. "I can't see you get hurt."

"And I can't see you." Ana shoots back, her face a wobbly mask of disgust.

I retreat back into myself. Anger rises to stay, protecting the sensitive feelings that threaten to rip me apart.

"Then leave," I grit out through clenched teeth. "If I'm so disgusting and evil to you, leave. You'll see. The Otherworld is even worse than the human one and sooner or later your going to experience it first hand."

Ana swings the door open. With one foot already outside, she pauses. "I've already experienced it."

I don't get another word in. The slam of my front door signals the end of the night.

My mind tries to process everything. I stand in the middle of my living room, fuming and huffing as my eyes burn holes through the door. Foolish hope flickers through my head, thinking she'll come back. Hoping that I'll think of something to say so I can chase after her and try and convince her to stay.

Neither happen. Instead a tide of hurt and anger swallows me whole.

"Fuck!" I scream, over turning my coffee table. Things scatter and I fling off my shoes. My fingers brush against the sheaths of my blades.

I throw the one I used tonight, sinking it deep into a wooden beam in the kitchen.

Unbuckling the rest of them and letting them clang to the floor, I strip and head for the shower.

Tuning the knob to blast the hot water, I step in. Cold water takes my breath away, stinging against my skin, but I hold my body still, suppressing shivers as I think back to Ana's disgrace of me.

The water started to turn hot, continuing to heat up until it scalds my shoulders. I see the blood that stained my hands. It flakes off and runs down my tub, tinting the water pink.

Ana saw the blood. The hands of a killer.

I scrub my body vigorously, trying to feel clean. The fight left me writhing with emotion and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I wanted to spit at the fact that I wasn't upset about the kills. I was upset at how Ana perceives me. She's disgusted of me, scared of me and whatever darkness she saw.

I hold my face under the water, closing my eyes to see the look on her face when I tried to touch her.

I bang my fist against the tile and shut off the shower.

Her words and the stupid things I said, replay in my head.

A numbness settles in my chest, amidst all the other emotions. Disgust for myself starts to color the void, and I let myself sit in it.

Maybe I deserve this. This pain and unhappiness for being such a bastard. This is my punishment for taking life like I have.

Slipping on a tank top, I find the booze in my kitchen and take it to bed with me.

The bottle replaces Ana.

I sneer at the cruel thought and take a swig, culling out the torturous feelings.

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