#but things don't get better when we consistently believe the worst in others
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re my last reblog, some more thoughts: a lot of the people in the notes (at time of writing) seem to think that a lot of the negative feelings younger fans have towards older (mostly) women in fandom has to do with this idea that the kids don't think older women have/should have a sexuality. and i'm sure there are some young fans who do think like that, i won't deny that. however, i think it is unhelpful to think of any one group online either behaving as a monolith or acting with purposeful prejudice. i also think that, while things have not changed so much, i doubt any person active in fandom spaces over the age of 13 genuinely thinks older women don't have a sexuality, and behaving like they do is likely to only stall conversations and put people on the defensive. i have seen comments from younger fans to the effect of "what are you a mother of two doing writing slash fic" and of course i understand how that sounds like ageism and sexism - and it is, like that is an ageist and sexist thing to say - but i think acting like the kids just don't view you as a person so screw 'em is ngl equally ageist and misses what's at the root of the why, why younger fans feel and act the way they do. (and spoiler! it's not because they genuinely believe that older women don't have hobbies)
i already typed out a lot of me feelings on the why in the tags of my lrb and i don't feel like typing it out again, but basically it has more to do with problems with authority and perceived hierarchy (that older fans don't help when they get all Kids These Days and Respect Your Fandom Elders - not that everyone does get like that but enough people do don't lie to yourself) and with anti-culture pushing insane and contrived notions of purity
as a last point, i think older fans should try and remember what it was like to be 13/14/15 etc., how angsty you were how rude you were how pretentious you were, and think about why you acted the way that you acted. were you acting up because you were truly a spiteful person? or were you acting up because you were going thru a lot of difficult times and struggling to figure out who you were and your place in this world, with or without a true support system to rely on? i'm not saying we should all just lie down and let the kids walk all over us and dictate how fandom spaces should be run, but i think it would go a long way if everyone took a deep breath and recognised that nine times out of ten, someone acts the way they do because they are trying to protect themselves. the right way to react is not to get defensive, but to, without budging on your own principals and boundaries, show that the space they are in is a safe one.
#idk man fandom culture is just so off these days#but the kids aren't really the problem it comes from both sides#and i do personally think the adults should be modeling good behaviour instead of getting salty and snippy and defensive back#i'm not saying it's EASY#good lord knows i've blocked a lot of younger fans in particular that couldn't leave well enough alone#but things don't get better when we consistently believe the worst in others#idk idk idk#fandom culture#fandom#fandom problems#anti culture
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König and Social Anxiety
I just wanted too ramble a little bit about how I personally believe that König's social anxiety affects him, coming from someone who struggles with severe social anxiety. I've seen a bit of misconceptions in the past (though it seems to have died down now thankfully) about social anxiety, so I just wanted to give my own opinion. Per usual, this is fairly long lol ♡
This post is purely meant to analyse his social anxiety instead of his personality, and just talk a bit about social anxiety in general. If you hold different opinions that's completely okay. These are just my thoughts.
If you're struggling/have struggled mentally in any way, shape, or form please know that you are not alone. You're loved, accepted, heard, appreciated, and cared for. Keep going, you've got this. It'll all be okay, I promise 🫂
─ 𓆡𓆝𓆞𓆟𓆜𓆛 ─
So, for starters let me just get it out of the way that we, unfortunately, know practically nothing about König, or anything about the ways in which his social anxiety makes an impact on his life. The most when know when it comes to the latter would be the mentions that it's severe, likely developed due to his experiences with being bullied as a child, and that he likes to go unnoticed. Sure, we have voicelines, but I don't personally feel it captures clues as too how his social anxiety affects him. It eludes to his personality sure, but not so much his symptoms. I feel it's also important to mention that his disorder isn't his personality. It may have an affect on it of course, but it's not his personality.
Coming from someone who struggles with the same mental health condition I can be a completely different person in a place I feel I'm at my best in. Hell, sometimes it can seem nonexistent, but put me in a different situation, and it's nearly impossible too miss. In a military setting, König is definitely in his element. Not only is he in his element, but the military also provides structure, and consistency, which is very important when it comes to coping with any form of anxiety disorder, or any mental health condition in general.
I think it's important too mention as well that social anxiety isn't the same thing as being introverted, and/or shy. Does having it make it more likely for individuals too be introverted, and/or shy? Absolutely, but it doesn't always mean they will be. Social anxiety also doesn't mean that you don't like people. For many people it tends to mean that you're frightened about the negative possibilities when it comes to interacting with people. (For example, I love people, and I love getting to know people, but I'm often way to scared about humiliating myself/being judged to actually do it, so I usually I won't, and will avoid social events like the plague.)
I have no doubt in my mind that König feels like everyone has their eyes on him 24/7, and that they're somehow judging him in some way. Going off of his bio, I personally think the mentions that he was often bullied, and that he only found acceptance in fighting indicates that the bullying was likely on more of a severe scale. I doubt he found confidence in others very often, if at all, and really lacks skills in the socializing department.
He picks and chooses his words very carefully, and spends quite sometime practicing what he wants to say. He likely plans for every way the interaction could turn out, especially the worst case scenario. After the event, it'll be on his mind for quite some time as he replays it over and over again in his head, searching for any clues that he made them uncomfortable/embarrassed himself all while beating himself up for not saying/doing something better.
When he's not a blood thirsty, loud, human battering ram on the field I think he's very quiet, and is the type of person to stick to a wall, or the corner of a room. He's very observant of the people around him, and will try to be alone as much as possible to avoid any stress. When coworker's try to approach him, especially if it's unprompted, then he's very short with them. Of course, this makes him come off as rude, which I don't think he's trying to be most of the time. He's just nervous, and wants to be left alone so it doesn't show to other people. Plus he's very awkward, and doesn't want too risk saying the "wrong" thing that could result in him being judged/humiliated. Especially if he hasn't had the time to plan what he wants to say.
I do think he does feel bad when he behaves that way towards someone with genuinely good intentions, and who just wants to get to know him better, but he isn't too sure how to handle it if it comes out of nowhere. He tries, but he's not very good at it most of the times. He's polite enough, he's just very awkward which tends to come off as him being standoffish, and his discomfort tends to get misinterpreted as him being an ass. He's usually bad with words, and people overall which results in him being probably a fairly isolated man.
I think that when he's on leave, and out living the average civilian life is when it presents itself. He's expected to act a fairly different way when compared to how he acts on the job, and is completely out of his element. I think he's very different with civilians than he is with the people he works with. He knows that he really intimidates them, especially women and children, and tries his best to make himself appear as less frightening as possible. His tone is likely more hushed, his face is more soft, and he tries not too be as short as he is with coworkers. Kinda backfires though in some ways as he can come off as sounding very serious unintentionally, which makes him feel like a dick.
I think it's important to mention again that his social anxiety is specified as being severe which means it heavily impacts his life. Does that mean that he doesn't know how to cope with it, or live a fairly normal life? Of course not, but it still majorly effects him even if it doesn't show outwardly. There's likely some things he simply can't/won't do often, or at all due to his social anxiety. These thing's probably involve big social events, and instances where all focus is soely on him. Combine those two together, and you have a situation he'd never willingly put himself in.
He probably does have panic attacks. He probably will sweat, blush, stutter, and show other physical symptoms of anxiety in high stress situations that he can't escape from. I don't think this happens often (At least not in front of people. The last thing he'd want people to know is that he struggles with social anxiety in case it makes him a target.), but it most likely does happen. I want to mention this because I think it's important to talk about, but I've seen some people bring down other's for including symptoms of König's anxiety in their writing, and it's really disheartening.
He may be an intimidating, middle aged mountain of a military man, but he still had feelings. He's still a human being, not a complete monster. He's not going to start a random verbal/physical altercation with a random person that hasn't started anything with him to try to bring them down. I personally think, just like most of the other characters, he's a normal guy when not on the job.
#cod mw2#konig cod#konig mw2#könig#könig call of duty#könig cod#könig mw2#cod mwii#cod x reader#mw2#modern warfare 2#cod modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw3#modern warefare ii#modern warfare#modern warefare 2 x reader#cod#mw 2023
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Bunny Corcoran: Neglect In Plain Sight
Bunny was the baby of his family, and you'd of thought this meant he received endless fawning—In reality, this had been far from the case. Many emotionally abusive parents like to lament on how attentive they are, but in all truth the Corcoran's had purely been self serving: As Henry famously put it, Buns parent's were ''Like certain reptiles who hatch their young and abandon them to the elements.'' He hadn't received enough for textbooks, I find it hard to believe that hadn't extended to item such as clothes, or worst of all food.
It places a rather rancid lens over the comments on Buns weight, as he wouldn't have been fed consistently threw out his childhood; He'd have constantly been questioning himself where exactly he would be getting his next meal, and when you have experienced this type of consistent neglect you don't suddenly brush that of when your older. It wouldn't have mattered how much he ate now, or how often—Because what if this one would be his last meal?
It makes one wonder, has Bunny actually been taught how to do much of anything? His family saw getting a job as disgraceful, so he wouldn't have been taught invaluable life skills on how to get a job, only how he should/needed to mooch of others. Maybe that's why in so many scenes he's snatching things from others, and why he let's everyone else do the work (Does he know how to cook, even?) Richard had described how Bunny had a major habit of stealing, and when taken out of context from the rest of the above information it sounds as if he'd done it for the sake of doing so.
These ideas are shown to be even more so plausible when we take into account Bunny's Mother's eagerness for an autopsy—Something a family member should hardly want due to it's invasive nature: But she had requested one, because she feared her son would disowner the family; Not even because she feared foul play.
The family only cared for their image, not for the work it would've taken for that image to be true.
To add another layer, because Bunny never gained a job he never would've understood the value of money in the real world. No wonder he felt so free to request large sums of cash, he doesn't have an actual concept of money nor it's worth only that having an expensive taste is the right taste; and of course Richard whose had to work for a lot of his early life would look down on Bunny for such an action, he actually understands moneys worth and has to trifle with it for so long—Bunny was never taught moderation, so whenever given the chance to consume with no end, well what would you think likely to happen?
Now I must address the elephant in the room, Bunny's blatant homophobia and sexism. As distasteful as it was, it cannot be used as a reason to justify his murder—The entire group believed what he had, mayhaps not in the exact same way but in their own mortifying ways: Julian was classist, Francis sexist—All of these characters are just as bad as one another, one was just more vocal than the rest.
Take for example the ''Death is the mother of beauty'' Scene, where they'd all been describing how they'd be revered as Gods—But as soon as the comment of ''Common crackers'' Was made, that had crossed the line; Because it failed to fit into the idea of the picturesque.
Bunny was the bird that sung truth, and don't we all hate truth? For truth as Julian assures, is not a virtue./sarc
Abuse gets romanticised, let's admit it; if it cannot be wrapped up in a pretty box no one wants it—Whenever someone actually faces the effects abuse can have on a person, they squeal like piglets and run away from it because they cannot face how ugly abuse can make a person. No one magically becomes a dead beat, nor somehow is simply lazy by nature. We all want control over our livelihoods, but some of us believe we lack the capabilities to do so.
It's easier to be a Richard Papen, to demonise people like Bunny and say: At least I am not them, I am something better—When really, we should all be aiming to put ourselves on the same level as one another; because in reality, we are all equals.
That is not to say tolerating another's behaviour is the right thing to do, you are meant to speak up and set boundaries; to communicate and come to an equal understanding. But what is the one thing discouraged by Henry? Discussion; Richard isn't allowed to talk to Bunny ''Because he'll make it worse.'' Richard was an entirely autonomous person who'd been forcibly dragged into this situation, but chose to lay back and simplify Bunny to such a degree he could excuse murder; Richard picked a side, when there is no side.
But that's the wonder of this book, it convinces you murder was the only escape—That we should kill those who inconvenience us, who harm others with seemingly no reason. It's easier than patience, that's for sure.
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One final Never Have I Ever love triangle thematic analysis
I've said this in one of my posts before, but the narrative is always going to favor what is best for Devi. A lot of what makes this show so juicy to dive into is because so much of its meaning is rooted in symbolism and higher concepts, not just the individual interactions you're looking at onscreen!
I think that's what doesn't work for some (not all) pro-Dxton anti-Ben folks. They see Paxton being respectful and kind to Devi, they see that he's the attractive object of her desire from day 1, and they see that the two of them genuinely do help each other in certain ways. But when these same people look at Benvi, they only see Ben making obnoxious comments to Devi (+ others), they see childish behavior and mistakes being made, and they see them frequently butting heads due to their shared competitive nature.
And honestly? I get it. These conclusions are easy to come to when you're looking at the surface, but they don't take into account the full story that's being told.
Let's get into it. 😎👇
So I mentioned earlier the idea of what is best for Devi. Not what is best for any regular person out there -- what is best for Devi Vishwakumar! Our girl expresses in no uncertain terms that she enjoys her hypercompetitive rivalry-turned-bond with Ben ("Ben's smart and we talk- mostly argue- for hours!" // "I don't want to break up with Ben. He really pushes me.") The fact that they fight and compete is not a detriment to their compatibility, it is actually the thing that makes him most desirable in her mind. She would not have wanted to be with him in the first place if this were not true. Their sharp-tongued communication style may not be the standard picture of a 'healthy' relationship for most people, but, well. Devi and Ben are far from most people.
Devi is an incredibly emotional, dynamic person who's always searching for another high. The competitive nature of her relationship with Ben is enough to satisfy her itch for novelty/excitement (her differences with Paxton don't hit this box), yet Ben's presence also provides a comforting long-term consistency in her life. He's seen the very best and the very worst of her and he always comes back. He frequently brings Devi back to herself, too, when she loses sight of what matters (friendships, family, sense of self, her goals, etc).
Then there's the dream vs. reality dichotomy that very much applies to this love triangle. Simple as it may be, it's accurate. I believe it was built that way on purpose because of how well it reflects Devi's relationships to Mohan and Nalini, which is the beating heart of what NHIE is all about. One (Mo/Pax) is more outwardly palatable than the other and provides an easygoing, self-soothing escapism that she needs in order to work through her grief. This person represents youth and the rose-colored past; Devi's tendency to idealize and indulge. The other person (Nal/Ben) is sharper around the edges, a bit harder to swallow, but pushes Devi to do better and supplies the support she needs. This person represents Devi's grounded reality; her time in the present and the woman she is growing into.
They are both important pieces of Devi's journey, but the themes of past vs. present speak for themselves. The past is something we keep in our heart; in this case, it's someone who has impacted us and we'll always carry with us -- but the ultimate goal is to move forward from that. The central relationship of Never Have I Ever is that of Devi & Nalini as they heal and grow together. In terms of Devi's romantic life (which is what this analysis is about), her relationship with Ben is the one that more closely shadows the series arc between her & Nalini.
I'd like to address some things by the individual season now. One of my observations watching s1 for the first time was that Paxton was usually aligned with bad things in Devi's life, whereas Ben was aligned with the good. ie, Paxton was the root cause of Devi's falling out with Elfab and Nalini // Ben is the one who repaired those relationships. These things aren't Paxton's fault, nor do I place any blame on him. They're just subtle narrative choices that send up unspoken flags saying, hey look, this isn't the right person for her. This theme remained in s1 for the most part, but given that it was NHIE's debut season, it planted several seeds for me about who the boys were for Devi and how they fit into her world.
Season 2 does a lot to sort out the difference in what Devi thinks she wants (Paxton) and what her heart truly wants (Ben). Yes, I'm going there, too: head vs heart. Devi's underlying preference for Ben > Paxton should be easy to spot as early as 2x01 -- if only for the fact that Devi finally bagged the hot guy of her dreams, yet, choosing to be with him isn't easy for her. In fact, as both Devi and Eleanor confirm later, she wanted to choose Ben in the first place. Like... that's crazy when you think about it!!! Despite all the pieces falling into place for her and Paxton, and against her friends' shallow advice, she decides that she won't let go of Ben. Instead, she makes the misguided decision to date both. This isn't the kind of mistake she'll ever make again. It isn't Devi acting out because of Ben -- it signals a profound attachment to him when, all things considered, picking Paxton should have been a no brainer. That revealed everything I needed to know in order to understand that being with Paxton wasn't what she wanted in her heart of hearts.
Then, of course, 3x10 brings that all home with the stomach knots comparison. It tells us that since Devi and Paxton have moved into a place of friendship, with him no longer on a pedestal, those romantic feelings (particularly on her part) have dissipated. As a bonus, Devi even explicitly states that Paxton was a dream! Ben, however -- her flawed reality -- is the one who still gives her butterflies. This is the result of Devi's slow awakening to her true inner self, the Devi who values realness and authenticity and loving through imperfection. It's a step closer to the complete acceptance of herself. (Notice as well that right after this point, it becomes more undeniable than ever that Ben is who she wants to be with.)
As long as Paxton was a romantic possibility for Devi, their relationship was tied to her feelings of insecurity and inferiority. Again this is not Paxton's fault -- he assures her of the opposite all the time -- but this is Devi's story, and we are shown over and over that Devi fears true vulnerability with Paxton (both sexually and emotionally). Compare this to the way she has always felt confident, seen, driven, and unabashedly herself in her relationship with Ben, even when they were enemies. At a glance Devi may appear to act more immature in Ben's orbit, but the truth is that she grows with him more than anyone else (besides Nalini) thanks to Ben's penchant for encouraging accountability and showing her that actions can have consequences.
Anyway, TLDR version:
Paxton = Devi's youth, Mohan, grief, distraction, the past, idealism, and the head (constructed ideas).
Ben = Devi's future, Nalini, healing, confrontation, the present, reality, and the heart (authentic truths).
Never Have I Ever's romantic story structure rests on the premise of these symbolic definitions. They are gospel, and while the characters will grow and change and become better versions of themselves, they will do so within the lines that are already drawn. The lines exist for a reason -- they are a narrative tool! These characters cannot and should not 'grow out' of their roles because those roles are their identities within the show's framework. Character development isn't getting wasted, because the characters are exactly who they are meant to be right through to the end. They are symbols. If that's not your cup of tea then so be it! But there's nothing wrong with this writing style. In fact it's one of my personal favorites because everything is so neatly defined, yet fascinating to read into 🥰
The imperfect Ben had to be Devi's true love because her love interests are, in a way, reflections of herself. By no fault of his own, Devi always felt the need to be "perfect" for Paxton because that's how she viewed him; a false paragon of everything she wanted to be. That is the point of their story together. Her acceptance of the deep love she has for Ben (and Nalini!), despite his sometimes off-putting demeanor, is aligned with Devi's acceptance of her own imperfections -- that she is hot-headed, she can be self-absorbed, she makes mistakes -- but that she is also brilliant and driven and caring and radiant, and she is equally worthy of receiving the love that she has to offer others.
Narratively speaking, it was never truly a competition.
#never have i ever#benvi#devi vishwakumar#ben gross#ben x devi#devi x ben#bevi#nhie spoilers#nhie#analysis post#*success
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To the point about Rhaenyra being boring, it continues to elude me why the producers, writers, and directors decided they needed to humanize Rhaenyra by downplaying if not outright removing her worst traits. That’s not humanizing, that’s sanitizing.
There are plenty of female characters that exist in fiction who are frustrating to morally ambiguous, to completely evil but still have their fans and are beloved, or at the very least compelling. The comparisons to Shiv Roy from Succession already exist, so I won’t belabor that point, but look at other shows like Mr. Robot, Better Call Saul, and if anyone really wants to press the button for feminism: The Handmaid’s Tale. Those shows have incredibly well-written female characters that aren’t necessarily paragons.
House of the Dragon choosing to center Rhaenyra as the protagonist as opposed to making her part of a true ensemble a la the original Game of Thrones wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The narrative decision to frame her as heroic (as far as S1 is concerned) is how we get the ‘Protagonist Centered Morality/Unreliable Narrator’ trope that results in plenty of media literate fans that are either neutral or Green-leaning who feel frustrated that there’s not an equal balance between characters.
Perfectly put together, anon. I'm sorry I answered so late. -_-
There's nothing wrong with characters that are written to be good people, but you see, that only works when said character is written consistently and somewhat realistically. Something that the writers completely didn't do in Rhaenyra's case. Are you going to tell me I'm supposed to watch her go through Visenya's traumatic birth, which by the way, happened so quickly after learning that her father was dead, keep her calm, and find it believable?
There is no sense of reason when it comes to grief. None. When someone close to you is gone, you check out. They take a part of your mind away with them and sometimes you don't even realize it. Especially if it's as horrid, as painful and helpless as what Rhaenyra went through. I am not going to sit here and blame the Greens for that baby's death, for all we know of her she had dragon features and was 100% going to die either way. That is digestible for us viewers/readers, who have no connection for a baby mentioned in a few lines.
But Rhaenyra's her mother. And rightfully, when she loses her this way, she goes mad with grief. She wants someone to blame, she cannot cope with the idea that there is no one to blame in this situation, that it would've happened either way. So she blames her enemies, the Greens. She isn't right, but she isn't even sane anymore, she's just had a stillbirth, how can you expect her to think before she speaks?
But the show strips her completely of this anger, and makes her push for peace. Is it possible that not even THAT can make this perfect angel Qween lose her temper like any human would? I understand wanting to rid her of any sin so she looks like a Saint, but really, where's the flaw in being angry and irrational after your stillbirth?
I never liked Rhaenyra as a person but I was looking forward (I'm STILL looking forward lol) to the role she will play as a character, a literary device, a tool to tell a story. I'm not saying I hope they bring out the worst of her this season so more people have reasons to hate women and feel justified for it, but LET HER BE RIGHTFULLY ANGRY. I'M BEGGING YOU.
People will always choose and be more obsessed with the evil but interesting one, not the one who's got more morals. It's already been said in a post I saw not so long ago, but Luke shouldn't be winning polls for best character against OTTO HIGHTOWER of all people because we choose morality in none other than a world like ASOIAF. Please give characters nuance. There's so much potential they got lazy with using timeskips etc. already.
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Ridiculously long post of depression tips
In the words from some of my favorite books, people and games:
"Road to recovery is a long one, but you will make it." - Volition from Disco Elysium
"Be selfish. Be brave." - Babel
"You can and you will make it." - Someone I know
This will be a ridiculously long post as I'm trying to put everything I know/have learnt over the years on it, so might break it into parts if need be. I'm not a doctor, but fellow survivor and this is what I've found useful. Take what you need from the post. WE GOT THIS!
Basic self care
Crucial. Important. In some cases, life or death.
I will include the obvious tips and some random specific ones.
Sleep
It literally heals your mind when got right. Some things to make it happen:
Go to bed and wake up at the same time. Even if insomnia keeps you awake, stay consistent with the bed times.
Give yourself ridiculous amount of time for the rest. When I'm bad and in recovery, I start prepping for sleep at 8pm. People will not mind, they might be a bit surprised at first, but it's not really their business.
Be firm with yourself about technology before bed. I strive for putting my mobile off for the night, and only look at it AFTER I've had my morning coffee.
Really long walk and some kind of sleepy tea of your choice is an EXCELLENT combo for good rest.
Sleep is also tied to other basic self care, so you need to be doing all of it - but good news, more you do the easier it gets because you get better.
If you fuck up any of these points - say, stay until 3pm on your phone looking at memes - don't beat yourself up (even if that's the natural thing you'll want to do when you're suffering from depression), but don't give in either, thinking that letting yourself KEEP doing this is self care and being merciful on yourself. No. If you fuck up, it is okay and human, but KEEP AT IT. Think of all the process you've made so far despite the fuck up. Keep going. Don't let yourself get discouraged by one or few fuck ups, but make it a top priority to get back on track. You will make it. You deserve a good life and sleep will definitely help.
Food
Making food while depressed is exhausting. You need to choose the ingredients, buy them, then make the food. And your depression might tell you lies, such as what's the point and I don't deserve to eat well. But they are lies! You do deserve it. It is important to do this right to not get into financial ruin, and keep a healthy diet. This is tricky, but you can get there. Some tips:
When you're doing a little better, prepare a LOT of food, and then freeze a lot of it. Little gift for the future self who is struggling.
Keep a lot of easy good snacks around. Include fruit. Eat when hungry.
Speaking of fruit, have some at the house and eat often.
Include protein in your food. However, if you really are struggling and there's nothing but pasta in the house and you're starving, eat the damn pasta.
Accumulate a lot of simple recipes you can make quickly. Tomato pasta with some protein is a good one, especially with some Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.
Making food can be helpful for depression, although when the worst is on it's very hard. But if you're a little better, it can even be therapeutic to focus on it. Try making something that takes a while, like pizza.
When you're getting even more better ('cause you will!) offering food to others is good for mental health for secret reasons. But if the thought exhausts you as you read this don't worry about this for now.
If you excercise, horde some protein snacks you can eat immediately.
Congratulate yourself for keeping up with this, and every time you've gone through the day with a good healthy diet. It is not easy.
Similarly to sleep, if you stray off course, know this is natural, change is hard, don't beat yourself up, but get back on track. I believe in you.
Exercise
Did someone say "extra fries"? Boomer minion memes aside, this is another really really good thing to do. Get this: You can literally force your body to create endorphins, even when you're mind is in the mud. It also helps with both appetite and sleep, and self-esteem. It also can help you find an outlet, and it helps focus yourself on the present. And it is such a concrete way of fighting an illness which feels so not-concrete. Some tips:
Make plans with people or find a workout buddy. The peer pressure is an excellent way to motivate yourself even if your mind makes bullshit excuses. It may feel intimidating to ask someone but I promise a lot of people want to get into working out but find it hard to motivate themselves too, so you really are also helping them at the same time too. Societies or groups are also good, as long as you go each time.
Think of working out as a fight against your depression. Because it is. Think of your depression being this big Dark Souls boss fight. (gif below for anyone not familiar.) You are struggling, but you are fighting against it, and you're a survivor, and you're badass af for keeping on fighting.
BTW above gif: that's you drinking some estus flask (water) before you tackle again the task of fighting your depression by working out because that is how badass you are.
Do the workout, no matter what your mind tells you.
The kind of workout that raises heart rate is really good.
Long walks are also REALLY good. I don't know what it is about them, but they are magical. You might find cats on the street or cool birds too.
Yoga is also good. The YouTube channel Yoga by Adriene is very good, she's so gentle.
Remember that after any kind of work out congratulate yourself and remember you are a fighter and you've just taken even more steps to battle against this thing, it's not easy and you've done it and you should be beyond proud.
That's it for this post but I will reblog this with more tips in the future so stay tuned folks. I will cover at least things like people, hobbies, therapy, values and goals and staying organized, but I'll add more if I think more.
I've struggled with this for a long time but I can and will make it towards being better and so will you.
#depression recovery#recovery#depression tips#depression recovery tips#mental health#mental health recovery#basic self care#mental health tips
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Worst thing: Dick Grayson x f!reader
Inspired by the song: Worst Thing by NOTD & Kenzie
Warning: inuendo, some action but nothing too explicit, in this case Dick is a bit out of character (just for the sake of it)
Life was too much lately. We were constantly on a mission or a patrol or busy with work or investigating or doing whatever shit our hero mentors had going on. I needed a break and I guess so did Dick. Passing by each other was no good for our relationship, any relationship actually since it had destroyed a couple of mine in the past. Or at least I was telling myself that the reason was behind my double life. The truth however was slightly different. It just every time someone tried to get close to me, hold me or kiss me or touch me, I saw his face in front of my eyes. God damn, Dick Grayson!
I wish we never met sometimes
'Till I'm with another ex, and I
Forget that you're the best sometimes
He was a wolf, no one could deny it. The list of his ex-girlfriends was miles long and yet he could never kept any of them for long. I always wondered why, to be honest. It’s not like he didn’t want a real relationship. I saw it in his eyes when he was looking at me. I saw it in his action we were fighting alongside each other or even when we were spending nights talking about life or just sitting in silence. He wanted someone to care for and love and someone who will reciprocate to him with the same amount of love. He shouldn’t have to carry all the burden on his shoulder, alone and I was trying my best to show him that he had people around. That he had me around. As a friend, of course. I never got the guts to tell him the truth of how I really felt.
Wonder if I'm in your head 'cause I hate this
And I hate that, you're making me say this
Cause I ain't one to say this but
Our friendship consisted of understatements and restraints. Judging from the time perspective I believe we were pushing each other apart because we were scared of letting someone in and then losing that person or seeing them hurt. And because we were afraid of showing any sign of vulnerability. We trusted each other but confessing true feelings was a one-way ticket way. It was easier to be just teammates. Bruce used to insist that we were training together but that was just it. Nothing more.
We claim we're better off apart
Pretend that we don't get along
At least up to some point.
Like I mentioned, we were good working together, so when another mission and investigation in another city came up it was natural choice that the team voted for the detective and an CSI agent to lead it.
“Ready to go, Grayson?” I asked grabbing my bag, throwing it over my shoulder and walking towards the elevator. Why was he standing like this, eyes open, feet rooted to the ground? “Dick?” I waved my hand in front of his face and he blinked rapidly, out of his Robin instincts grabbing my wrist “Are you sure you are capable of joining me? You seem a bit cuckoo….”
“Joining you? Oh, Y/N. You know well enough I am the leader here.” He smirked and finally moved to follow me out. “You are just a support, not the other way round.”
“Mhm, sure.” I muttered “We’ll see how that goes when we will have to actually talk to people, not beat the shit out of them”
“I can talk to people.”
“Sure, you can Dickie, sure you can” I rolled my eyes smiling lightly at the reminder of his last talk. “But only if we have to deal with tall, blonde policewoman or female agent.”
“You are a female agent….” He pointed out
“Thanks for noticing, genius.” I grinned “I feel flattered that those jeans does not make me look like a butch. Now….” When we got out of the Titans tower I instinctively moved towards the driver side of the car but he yanked me back onto the pavement, causing a little crash between his chest and mine “Ouch….” I whined
“First of all, you have almost walked right in front of a motorcycle so you’re welcome. Second, you are not going to drive my car”
“ Oh, come on Don’t go all man-like on me. What is it with guys and their cars?”
“I’m driving. That’s not up for discussion.”
“all right then. But I’m in charge of the playlist?”
“This is not a field trip Y/N. We’re on a mission. We should discuss what and how we are going to do. Music will be a distraction. Now, get in.“
“Just this once, Grayson. Let’s settle on the fact that work is important, I get it” I moved inside the car and relaxed into the comfortable seat, stretching my legs out “but I also know you are going to go full instinct, so why the talk, hm?”
He didn’t; respond, so in the end we ended up not talking and not listening to any music, just driving in complete silence. Everything went surprisingly smoothly and within a couple of hours we were done with our little intel ready to go back.
Well, the way back was more of a bumpy ride.
When we were driving through the forest, the car suddenly died on the roadside. With one sharp tug and a bit of coughing coming from the engine we were estranged far from home.
But would it be the worst thing
If your car wouldn't start up
“Is your precious porche going to the dogs?” I asked unmoved by what was going on “could you try to relight the engine?”
“I am. It’s not working.”
“Ok, then. I guess you probably forgot to fuel up, too busy with ordering me around as usual.”
“Y/N…..”
“Should we call the team to come and rescue us? It’s getting late and dark.” I stretched my back a bit, pointing towards the horizon where the sun was setting behind the trees. “however the view is breathtaking” I smiled a bit, admiring the landscape. I was always a forest creature.
“Y/N.” Dick turned his gaze towards me and as I look into his eyes it was like an electric shock. All I saw in his eyes was just a bit too much and I felt my cheeks flush, desperately trying to take control of the situation.
“Did you plan this?” I asked, perplexed as he leaned towards me over the gearbox, one of his hands finding mine, the other cupping my cheek and I moved towards his touch, too consumed by his closeness to be embarrassed.
“Maybe.”
“So what are you going to do now, Robin? Murder me? Bury me in the ground so no one could find me and you could blame my poor skills for the mission failure? Or….””
“Or what? He asked, his eyes landing on my lips, face inches from mine and I felt his breath on my cheek, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, gently, lovingly.
“Or are you going to kiss me?” I panted, my breath fastened with all the emotions I felt at the moment as all of a sudden I became braver than usually.
We had to fog up the windows
When it gets dark
Just to keep us warm.
“would it be the worst thing?” he muttered and crossed the distance between us, both of his hands closing in on my waist pulling me closer. Honestly, despite his skillful lips and my blurry mind caused by the sensation he was giving me, making out while still siting on two different seats was a bit uncomfortable and it wasn’t helping that our hands and bodies wanted to feel every inch of each other.
“Come here” Dick whispered, breaking the kiss for a while, grabbing me by my hips and carefully placing on his lap “I want you closer to me.”
“Good thing we agree on something” I smiled against his lips “but I though the car was your temple?”
“It is. And that’s why I needed you on this mission with me. We had no time or space to talk and clarify things in the Tower. Too many people around….” His mouth moved onto my neck, gently sucking there, probably leaving hickeys that would be impossible to cover. Well, I couldn’t care less.
“And are we talking now?” I moaned softly as his hands sneaked under my shirt “you’re cold!”
“Well, not for long. Not with you baby.”
Due to some magical power I was not aware of, he was soon shirtless, helping me out of my T-shirt, wanting to feel my skin against his. God! I loved those strong arms, making me feel so safe, even if we were in the middle of the wild forest, at complete darkness where every possible psycho could just come at us. I knew if it ever came to that he would protect me. Not Robin. Dick. My Dick Grayson. My boy, I was in love (and in denial of it) for so long. I loved his scared chest, so broad and toned. I loved his eyes, the way he looked at me through those amazing eyelashes. I loved his tousled black hair and his cheeks and his possessiveness and recklessness. I loved how he made me lose control and just give in to the moment. I loved him all. Good and bat traits. And I loved how he was the one to walk that tightrope between our inhibitions. What else can you expect from an acrobat, right? His skin was a bit rough but soft at the same time, and satisfying his previous words, he was now so warm. I felt his pulse rising as I locked my hands on his neck, playing with the hair on his nape, wanting more of him.
Judging by his hold on me, he was pretty much immersed with the same feeling.
“I love you” he whispered, now kissing my chest.
“are you going to act on it?” I whined impatiently
“No, baby. This is just taste of what I can give you. This not the place to go full-on. I respect you too much for that”
“What? Dick…..” I arched my back trying to change his mind
“Y/N…..” he sighed heavily “don’t.”
“Why not? You started this.”
“I can’t really see you objecting, baby.”
“that’s the point!” I hissed “I don’t want you to hold back and …..”
“Trust me, I’ll give you anything you want. But…. I want to do it in more appropriate environment” he whispered in my ear, causing a shiver run down my spine. “Just imagine what’s coming for you.”
“Dick……” I moaned desperately, knowing I already lost this fight.
“Sush, End of discussion. Now rest.” he winded the seat down making me lay my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. It wasn’t slow and definitely wasn’t calming at first, but soon became steady and much to my disappointment I started to drift off.
“Dickie….” I chuntered
“Yes, baby?” thank god for his flexibility that allowed him to reach to the backseat and gather a blanket to cover my half-exposed figure and a bit of himself
“You really planned this, didn’t you?” I giggled, my breath tickling his chest
“I did.” He sighed, holding me tighter. I felt like a baby, loved, secure, safe with him. Someone was looking over me and being taken care of was such a good feeling……
“I love you, Grayson……”
Wondering where the hell have we been?
And would it be the worst thing if we both fell asleep
Woke up to twenty calls each
When I opened my eyes again I was tangled in Dick’s arms as even in his sleep he was holding me steady. I tried to move as carefully as I possibly could, extremely sore, but still I didn’t manage to avoid waking him.
“Morning Y/N” he grinned and those sleepy eyes, still a bit blurry with the rest of the dream and hoarse voice made my heart swell. “Did you sleep well? Why are you crying?” he became awake in an instant “did I hurt you?” his alerted voice make me cry a bit more and he was quick to wipe all the tears “Y/N? Look at me. What happened?”
“Those are good tears, Dick. I just….I just feel a lot right now and I’m not sure how to process it all.”
“Well that’s a change from the randy girl from last night” he mocked and I lifted the corners of my mouth lightly
“Well, look what you are doing to me, Richard Grayson.” I looked him straight into the eyes “can we just stay here? In our bubble? I don’t want to go back to the tower….”
“I would love to, but we may be in trouble….”
“How so?” I raised an eyebrow and he handed me our phones. Twenty unanswered call… Each. “Oh, shit…. What do we tell them?”
“That we had the most fulfilling, additional eight hours of investigation” he grinned and I hit his arm, probably hurting myself more than Dick.
If it means that we'd have eight more hours alone
Or even if we never make it home
I guess that wouldn't be the worst thing
“Really? That’s what you going to tell Bruce?”
“I can just admit I finally got you all for myself….”
“Dick!!”
“What?”
“I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing” I smiled and not able to help myself any longer kissed him, enjoying those last minutes of peace between us, before the search and rescue.
@somest1 @pinksirensong
#dc#dc imagine#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson imagine#nightwing x reader#nightwing x oc#dick grayson x you#nightwing x you#dick grayson#nightwing#batfamily x reader#dc titans#dc titans x reader#dick grayson fanfiction#dick grayson x y/n#nightwing x y/n#nightwing imagine#nightwing fanfiction
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I'm thinking the layout of the toy box consists of 2 level maps. Bare with me, this will be long.
1st one is the main landscape of the realm. Nice and vibrant. Very colorful, but I think the main dominant color would be yellow since... Butter. Big contrast to the dolls who've gone hyperactive and are trying to kill Gingerbrave and Co. Rosemary, thankfully, shows up on time to lead them to safety, possibly a village. The dolls within the place are either dormant, passive, or docile, keeping themselves safe. We learn from Rosemary that ever since Golden Butter Cookie had fallen into an everlasting slumber, leaving them with no other purpose or task, caused a divide amongst her doll servants. So much so that the hyper focused ones even began attacking the others who didn't join them. When Gingerbrave asks if there's an exit to the toybox realm but they say that it's been shut for years, and that only Golden Butter Cookie could open it. This is what motivates the gang to go wake her up. Rosemary goes along with them to make sure they don't die. Being one of GBC's first creations, they know the realm like the back of their hand, and knows where she is. The final boss battle is probably with another doll that had been working hard to fend off people from the dollhouse not because they were protecting GBC, but because everything inside the dollhouse has gown downhill.
2nd layer is the dollhouse where Golden Butter Cookie is kept in. It looks like a normal dollhouse at first, but the further you go, the much darker.. The messier... The creepier it gets. The dolls inside, though still hyper focused on protecting Golden Butter Cookie are damaged, bent, or distorted. There's this one doll, no, a mannequin doll that looks just like a cookie constantly ambushes the group, trying to prevent them from going further. The further they go... The more the group wonders why GBC is stuck in a deep slumber, and finally, Rosemary finally explains who GBC really is, who she was before she hid away from everyone in the toy box realm, and her relations with the Beast Cookies. I'm assuming this is the part where they tell Rosemary about what really happened to Shadow Milk Cookie, and the current situation that is happening beyond the toybox realm. Realizing the urgency, they become more motivated to keep pushing forward and wake up GBC.
The moment they get there... It's a small room, with a faint light that shines through the windows. Amongst pillows, flowers, and plants, is a glass coffin, in which Golden Butter Cookie is asleep. Giving off the motivation sucking aura that is keeping the group away. However, Rosemary manages to muster up enough strength to open the glass coffin to wake her up.
They wait for a moment... It all seems hopeless... But the room goes dark, and Golden Butter Cookie awakens.
As she eyes Gingerbrave and Co. She's... Disappointed... Sad. What was she expecting for? But she sensed it... She sensed HIS soul jam. So why isn't HE here? Cowardice had led to Shame... Her shame had drove her to her eternal slumber that let her escape from her thoughts... Now they were rushing back.. She was wide awake... And she's finally snapped.
Thus, the final boss battle in the toybox realm begins, as Golden Butter Cookie commands the dolls to fight for their puppet master. Their creator. Replicating any spell or attack of their respective cookies while GBC unleashes her own spells.
Anon how the FUCK do you understand my own oc better than I do/VERYPOS
But, anyways, I don't believe that Goldie would order the puppets/dolls/pookies(plushie cookies) to fight for her. The very minute she sees Pure Vanilla she's assuming the worst and thinking that he killed Shadow Milk for his Soul Jam.
The first thing she does after she sees it is to call out Rosemary for not coming to the realization she did before rosemary could explain. She tells Rosemary to go and Rosemary cannot help but follow orders. Goldie then summons a spear and immediately rushes to attack Pure Vanilla, who quickly puts up a shield.
The fight with Golden Butter Cookie would be brutal. There's a constant de-buff affecting your team thanks to her aura of burnout, and if you have any ancients then Golden Butter Cookie will focus on attacking them.
Luckily, due to her own burnout, her hp drains over the course of the battle. As to symbolize her slowly succumbing to her emotions. After the battle is when Gingerbrave and Co actually get to explain the situation proper. And after hearing their explanation...
" ... I... I see... So he's alive... and free..."
She's... depressed? Why wouldn't she be? If he had really gotten sealed, and was just now free, then why didn't he come see her? Did he... forget her? ... It was a terrible thought, one she didn't like thinking about. Soon, however, she agrees to join the Gingergang to help out with the situation.
She wondered what it was like, briefly, if she hadn't been a coward back then. Maybe if she did more to help, maybe if she fought back against the beasts when they arose, maybe none of this would have happened... but-
But what? does it really matter? It'd be better to not linger in the past too much after all.
With that, she fixes the Toy-Box, repaired the hyperfocused and dorment to their former states and creating one last thing, a crown. She gifts the Crown to Rosemary, telling her to lead the citizens of the Toy-Box in her stead this time instead of just abandoning them. Rosemary agrees, not because it's her new purpose, but because she genuinely wants to help the other residents of the Toy-Box towards a better future.
And after that, she leaves the Toy-Box with Gingerbrave and co.
It, also turns out that Rosemary lied to them. They could have just gone back the way they came, there's no way to lock the Toy-Box from the Inside after all. Rosemary really wanted to help Goldie though, and if it took lying to a few cookies? Well, that's certainly something she's willing to do.
...
But what's Golden Butter Cookie going to do after seeing Shadow Milk again? Well... Let's just say that she can be very scary when she wants to be, especially after going through the equivalent of being left on read for thousands of years.
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run au#crk#cr kingdom#beast yeast#not a prompt#Golden Butter Cookie tag#Shadow Milk is screwed. Goldie's the one person that actually scares him and that fact remains true to this day.#anyways KLNGOSKGSRNGJKSNGK ANON MY BELOVED/p#next post might be about an alternate timeline where shadow milk /does/ come and visit her... or when they find him.
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re: ed feeling kinda off. he’s felt kinda off all season? he’s had a few moments where he’s felt like himself but his catgirl era he felt so moe he felt kinda bland for half of it and i can’t get a read on him. maybe that’s intentional. but so far he’s had only a few sparing moments where he’s seemed like himself and i’d say the same of stede and izzy and the some of the others too. the writing is off this season. something feels weird. i almost wish episode 8 would be them all waking up and realising it’s been a dream.
oh izzy 1000% got it the worst, and people have been talking about that. but no one's been talking about how ed seems off. I think he's written very well in 2x01-03. They knew exactly what they were doing with him there in the kraken era and then his little journey inside his own mind. but 2x04-07 he's just been... idk not as deep? where's the mad genius vibes? I've kind of been dancing around saying this out loud but... knife parade sounds like something someone outside the show who believed izzy in 1x04 would say. "erratic" and "insane" come to mind. s1 ed wouldn't do knife parade because izzy isn't telling the truth in 1x04!!!! at least... in season 1 he wasn't...
I also think my post about ed's memory issues was unintentionally offensive, and I'm sorry for that. what I'm about to say might also be offensive, and I really don't mean for it to be. but basically, just because something's realistic doesn't mean it's good for a story. ed's memory issues are realistic. but when a fictional character doesn't remember something, the answer to "then did they do it?" usually winds up being "no." (versus, a real person, where the answer to that question usually leans towards "yes.") if ed doesn't remember the talent show, did he even suggest it? (again, ed is a fictional character, not a real person. I wouldn't ask that about a real person)
stede has been the most consistent with his s1 characterization imo. I think he's been coping waaaaaayyyyyyy too well tho. like we only finally get flashbacks to his trauma in 2x06. like the fact that he kept it together so well in 2x03 when he thought ed was DEAD??? DEAD FOREVER???? but other than that I don't have really any problems with him. I was shocked he actually killed Ned. I honest to God thought he was gonna hand him a violin and say "Play." which would fix Calypso's birthday by bringing the music back. However, Stede initiating sex after that made perfect sense. Stede partying in 2x07 made perfect sense. Stede fighting Zheng made perfect sense (he just lost the love of his life. again. and now his friends are leaving him too).
I don't want everything to be a dream tho bc I hate that in general.
My diagnosis: rushed and cheap. everything was rushed. everything had to be cheap. these scripts needed more time to work out all the kinks. they needed more money so they could pay for Ewen Bremmer to be in the whole damn thing, let alone the rest of the cast ~mysteriously disappearing~ sometimes. they needed an extra hour in the form of two more episodes. but like also... do they think izzy's character arc is good? like deep down inside, not what they'll say publicly bc they have to. maybe that's really mean. I'm not sure. I'm sure the writers worked hard. I wish they had more time... I wish they worked on those scripts for another month or two. I wish they shot s2 later and longer for a whole 10 episodes... I wish we weren't getting it till next year if it'd mean it'd be better. But alas. This is the our flag season 2 we will have for the rest of their lives unless we figure out quantum jumping
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Disclosed Desires
Chapter 4 of A Mortifying Ordeal now up on AO3
95% smut. You can skip when he vanishes his clothes.
I have no idea how I got through that dinner. The food was delicious, like utterly out of my budget and Raphael just sat there like a statue of Adonis only looking better and alive. Has the world ever seen eyes so brown? Probably not because it didn't implode and gods know I was so close.
Also, that voice. Once he realised The Purr had me in a stranglehold, he defaulted to it. Kept quizzing me about Baldur's Gate 3, too. Embarrassing and the one thing that saved the chair I sat on. I'm bad at meta, won't lie, so trying to explain things to him was pretty excruciating.
He kept insisting on me having a favourite way to play dialogues and such being a sign of me remembering and trying to be who I was before. Looking at that sopping soft guy who hid a complete devil under that face, was close to making me believe. No other reason anybody's pursue me with such fervour. But then I also have a favourite way to play Dragon Age 2 and I'm certainly no Hawke.
The thought of Varric turning up and trying to convince me to return to Kirkwall stuck around for almost half a minute. Mind you, he wouldn't have such convincing arguments for making me want to be Hawke and return.
Raphael, though? He's truly impossible, not gonna lie. I have to admire his staunch belief that I am in fact his Tav!Tav. Almost enough to make me doubt myself.
And gods do I wanna be them. He woos with the fierceness of a thousand suns, looking about as hot. Doesn't help if he's in his human form, guy is on fire! And not backing off. I am be as red as his devil skin when we arrive back at my room. Godsdamned, it is shabby. I am shabby. And he doesn't even care.
Also, he's utterly gorgeous. Tall. I have A Thing for tall guys, might be a reason none of my guys was under 2 meters. And in devil form Raphael is even taller. And so big. Need I say I wanna be all over him? Probably not, I am thirsty. I am horny and I want to cry so bad.
Poor sod deserves better. Deserves his actual real Tav. I know they'd love him so good. Kiss every inch of that man. Empty him like the last capri sun on the planet. Damn, they lucky. And I just have a finger under my chin and stare up into those damning eyes. Needs a licence for those, he does.
"Having second thoughts?"
Gah, I hate the soft insecurity in his voice. "Not about the – the thing itself no." Honesty, I whack myself internally. Honesty served me well so far. Gotta keep it up. "I wanna bang you so bad. 'til we both see stars and worse."
"But?"
"I know you think I'm your Tav. And man do I wish I was." I take his hand that holds my chin between mine. "But I'm not and you – you deserve better," I sigh. Can't hold his gaze either.
Waiting for him to react is the worst. My flight or flight instinct kicks in hard and my heart at least listens and pumps like mad. Thanks body.
Raphael is silent way too long. Probably having second thoughts himself and third thoughts and fourth thoughts, too. He's a crafty one. What am I even thinking? He got better things to do with his life than me. Which is why I can't let the Tav angle go. It's my one and only chance to get my hands on him. I am corrupt down to the bone. Or at least down to the cunt.
Doesn't help I had a taste already after amarettini and espresso. How he tastes so good, flavoured with almond and coffee. It's a small miracle we ended up in my room again and not in jail for public fornication. Coulda climbed him like a tree there and then.
"I appreciate your concern," he finally says. "It is very – consistent for you to put me and my feelings before yourself despite your obvious state. Please know that I acknowledge your worry, though I do not share it. Of course it is up to you, if you want to proceed. I will accept your withdrawal, much as it pains me. But you don't have to do anything more than let your gut guide you. Trust me."
How did he make so many words for before getting to the point. I get lost in his voice immediately and barely surface for the final 'trust me'.
"I do." Gods it is the most stupid thing ever. But I trust him. And I want to believe him, not only because his voice is utterly gorgeous but also because he says things I am desperate to hear. I want to believe so bad.
"Then, with that out of the way, you should ignore your misgivings for now. "
Wish it was that easy. Like, in theory it is, people making their own decisions, being their own people and you having to accept that. But it is hard to watch somebody you love, of fuck, I'm up in delulu-land further than the maps chart it. Still, it is hard to watch him throw himself uselessly at the nearest lump that looks like his Tav.
He must read my hesitation all wrong (unsurprising) because he takes my hand and brings it up to his lips. Damn demon devil. The way his index finger pokes into my palm is outrageously suggestive for it being mere hands. Good lord, sir what those fingers do?
"Maybe it will help bringing your memories back." He straightens with that predatory smile and my inhibitions don't even pretend to put up a fight.
"You fucked?"
"In a manner of speaking."
"You know that Tav fucking Haarlep and you fucking Haarlep in Tav's form isn't really you two fucking, yes?"
"Well," he grins like a wolf, "maybe it is time then to do the real thing."
In a swoosh of hellfire. Raphael transforms and also, sheds all of his clothes. I freeze except for my mouth that manages to go completely dry and water at the same time. Raphael's smile turns sharps as a knife as he points downwards. "Kneel."
Oh. Oh, hot damn, I will. I so will. But first – I cannot not touch him. His chest is broad and inviting and the skin is hot and all those ridges swirling everywhere. Gods strike me down if he didn't shudder when I placed my hand on him. He's burning under my fingers that move down his sides, up his arms and head. I can't reach very high on the horns but it doesn't matter. They feel alive under my palms, rugged.
The smile spreading on my face threatens to split it in half. Raphael is a sight. A whole banquet. More than I can hope to ever eat and most likely more than my mouth can hold. My hands round back over his shoulders, feathering over the collarbones. So many delicious ridges. I wanna bite them all. Nibble and munch until my jaw tires.
"Something you like?" His tone is only half mocking. "I am not used to having my orders disobeyed."
My eyes hitch on his mouth, that moves temptingly as he speaks. "Kiss me." I don't think. And when his hands alight on my sides, I jump at him, wrap myself around him any way possible and strain towards his lips.
Raphael laughs, low, and I feel it hum through my body. He takes it slow, lips tantalisingly out of reach until they meet mine ever so softly. I moan. He tastes so good. And as soon as his tongue demands tribute, I open up and swallow it whole.
Bad in bed whatever. He can kiss. If I didn't cling to him like a desperate koala, I would have melted into a puddle on the floor. As things are. My with feet hooked at the small of his back my legs can go as wobbly as they want. I am secure against him, ruining my pants and trousers too. Totes worth it.
He pries me off way too soon. The coronas in his black hole eyes burst with fire. "On your knees," he repeats and the low rumble is in itself enough to send me to the floor.
Not quickly, mind you. Can't pass on the chance to kiss all them ridges. And that is obviously allowed. My hand vanguards between his legs and damn. He's big. He's full of bumps and ridges I can't wait to pommel my insides with. But first – the chest. Only a little hair remains, but I'll take it.
As long as my head is on a slow descent, I can nibble on the red skin wherever. Don't care if my moans are louder than his. I'm in heaven. His problem now. Then I reach the happy trail and boy does it make me happy. I want to slurp it up, swoosh down and suck up the whole devil cock first.
Taking time is so hard, but then, so is he. Oh how delicious to arrive at a full on erection. My fingers mover over the pronounced ridges, feeling for future pleasure as I lean in. He's got a little crown of bumps just under the tip that looks absolutely delish.
A hand slips under my chin and raises my head. "Look at me."
Oh hot damn, if that's how he wants to play it. I lock my eyes to his and slip my lips over the very tip of his cock ever so slowly. He's so very still I can feel the tremble of his muscles tense to keep in place. I press the tip of my tongue against his tip, move it slowly, keep his eyes caught. This is a battle of wills he won't win.
Listen, I may be a little out of practice but I know my stuff. And he's signalling like nobody's business. Gods, he tastes so good, little burning flecks of precum on my tongue and the way he shivers when my tongue laps it up.
My head moves on without breaking eye contact. His cock slips in easy and deep and my tongue can't get on to those ridges fast enough. I'm sucking him like a lollipop. Every inch is to be explored, tasted, caressed. Rumbling sounds fall over me from above and only entice me to go down deeper. I want all of him inside of me and if this is how it happens, I will swallow.
His hands tangle in my hair. Gotta hand it to a guy who can find purchase in a pix cut. Not that it'll help him any. I help myself liberally to all of his cock abolishing my gagging reflex on the spot. Ain't nobody got no time for that.
I suck him in as deep as I can and then some because I am greedy. I want all of him and that's what I'll have and if it kills me. I don't care. I suck him in hard, deep and hungry. My teeth hitch on the ridges. My hands tighten on his balls and I wanna wring him dry, crush him like a lemon in the squeezer. Mine now. All mine.
Raphael's hands close on over my scalp. I am rabid. Clawed fingers press in tightly. I feel the nails pierce my skin as I go all in. The pain is familiar and exquisite. Unlike the fire erupting into my mouth, running down my throat like whiskey and chili.
I gulp it down as if I hadn't just feasted on the finest Mediterranean food. Gotta keep going. The cock is easier to take now that it softens and damned if I won't gurgle it down to the hilt. I'm almost offended when he pulls me up and definitely too short when he bends to kiss me.
Doesn't deter Raphael the least. He's big (oh yeah) and strong and just stands me on the bed so we can smooch good. He's sucking his taste from my mouth as if I stole it. Well, I'll gladly give him all I got. Also, I'm having an advantage because my hands run over hot skin (oh those swirling ridges!) and I'm still dressed.
His fingers bunch the fabric of my shirt and his tail wraps around my right ankle. Oh that's driving me wild. I'd be moaning all over the place if my mouth wasn't busy exploring every inch of devil it can reach. Little tugs of the tail in reaction to what goes on further up. Enough to turn my knees into pudding.
Raphael pushes me back a little, running a hand down the button tab. A knowing smirk plays over his lips. I wanna kiss that away. I wanna drink it up until it fills my whole existence. And he knows. Raphael tilts his head a little. "Open up."
Oh there is good reason that line isn't in the game spoken by him. I'd open up my legs wide no questions asked. Unfortunately, he's still looking at my shirt. Reluctantly I take my hands back to myself. If that's what he wants, he can have it. Gods, this guy can have everything. (Doesn't he know it.)
I hold his gaze and open the first button. Very slowly. I can see the fire flare up in his eyes. I can also feel his adventurous little tail move up my leg. The next button and another upwards slide wraps the tail around my knee. Raphael's grin a threat and a treat. Sweet hells. I can't even slow down any further because I started at least possible speed.
My fingers play with the next button and the tip of his tail dances against the inside of my thigh. Swallowing hard, I open the button and let the caress of skin snaking around my thigh wash over me. Two buttons left to go.
The second to last button brings him up against my cunt. The tail has no problems slipping between my folds; I'm wet as a waterfall.
I open the last button and nothing happens. I cock my head in a question and Raphael motions to brush the shirt of my shoulders. With a dry mouth I do and as soon as the fabric crests my shoulders, he moves in. His tail is hot, smooth and prehensile. I drop the worst moan ever as my knees give in, shirt hanging forgotten at half-mast.
Raphael catches me. Shirt forgotten he buries his face against mine again, tongue digging deep as his tail. My hands are on his chest again, gripping and grappling. Raphael pulls me close. His left bunches my shirt behind my back, trapping my hands as he bears down for another kiss. I'm flush against him, and my mans is working up an erection again already.
My cunt rises like a neon invitation. I arch perfectly against his chest, diabolical alchemy, I'm sure. Can't think further with my cunt full of tail and moth full of tongue – both slithering and slipping and demanding.
Clawed hands move down my sides, leaving red trails of fire. His fingers close in on my pussy and while I am all for that, he is in his cambion form. Pain is fine in moderation but there is some things I am not ready for yet.
"Before you can even think of putting any of those in down there, we gotta file of the claws," I gasp. In retaliation, I get his index finger into my mouth I suck down hard and accept the middle finger that follows.
His left still presses me against him, tail working up my cunt and fingers down my throat I hang on by that thread. I'm overflowing. I still need more. And he's generous. Boy is he giving. I may not be stuffed, but I am not empty either. My walls clench taking what they can and my mouth is muffled by fingers and want as he bends me backwards.
I fall freely and unworried. Hit the mattress soft enough. Barely registers through my horny haze as I rut at him like the last freak alive. He tastes so good. I wanna suck his mouth dry as well. Doing my best. Getting paid in hungry growls. Oh we feasting tonight.
Then he goes down. Not even slow. Skips all the in-between steps (it's fine, nothing to see there) to breathe hot air over my clit. And before I finished gasping out a hopeful moan, his tongue descended and I am deceased.
Doesn't matter if he'll come two thrusts in. I'm fucked already, writhing like a snake on silk sheets, getting nowhere but deeper into desire. Devil down there hums, send that reverberation into my bones through my sogging wet pussy. I'm so far gone, I can't even wish for him to finish me off.
Raphael's mouth works my clit as if I won't ever need it again, hungry tongue making short work of my arousal. I clench around the tip of his tail, riding on waves of ecstasy. Best night of my life.
#bg3#bg3 raphael#raphael x tav#bg3 fanfiction#mel writes fanfic#sleazy second-hand car dealer#A Mortifying Ordeal#chapter 4
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intro/ entry one
i want to open by saying 2023 absolutely sucked. i think, for everyone, it was a terrible year. but one good thing did happen to me. i'm here actually, for that reason. i'm living, and i'm writing this right now- because of it. because of him. i first started talking to him in august, the month before my birthday. we met online, and i curse the miles currently between us- but he is the best thing that has and will ever happen to me. he made probably the worst year of my life worth living. so many terrible things happened last year, that i will remember and that will shape me into the person i'll be. but the love of my life- my everything, will continue to shape me and to make me a better person. he has given me the wisdom and the words, the energy even, to be happy. but thats why i'm here. i have a lot to work through, and a lot to figure out. i can't feel one hundred percent okay until i get myself together, and figure out who i am when i'm happy, and who i want to be.
this year, i'm going to work on myself. i need routine and i need self love. i'm not a consistent person and i never finish things for myself, but i'm always more motivated to do things if i feel that other people could benefit from them. i've made a promise to myself that i'm going to get better, and i'm going to keep this blog as a journal, an anonymous diary if you will. maybe one day, someone will benefit from it. maybe not. and thats okay, it will be okay. i do hope that someone might be inspired, or perhaps encouraged to commit to the journey of finding themself. i'm going to try to post an entry every single day. i don't have a very busy life right now, so it only depends on my own motivation. i hope that soon, the only reason for missing a day would be because i am very busy taking care of myself. i'm going to give advice, and share things that have worked for me. i hope that this can be a positive thing and never a vent blog. i have made an agreement with myself to try to only write positively, to find ways to make things better through action and writing.
i have written down new year resolutions, and i hope that by the end of 2024 i can proudly cross them all off. i'm not in a good place right now, but i believe things are about to get better. i will not be sharing this blog with anyone unless i feel that they can benefit from it. so if you've found me on your own, i hope i can be of use to you. i don't expect to gain a following, and that does not bother me because maybe this will help me more than anyone out there. on january first of 2025 i want to look back and smile at all the progress i've made. i want to make that progress now, over the course of this year.
this entry was meant to be posted earlier, but it has taken me a while to find the words tonight. i will be posting a second entry later today, hopefully by the evening.
xo sparky ⋆
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important psa / some blog changes.
Kind of anxious to be posting this but, I think it's affecting my ability to get to replies and I just kinda wanna share what direction I'm going with my fave girl. So this post includes some spoilers so if you don't want to read those let me know what to tag it as. I think as time goes on I'm more discouraged at how little U.chikoshi gives Mi.zuki as a character. She has only one route in the OG game, and she's actually given love and a listening ear and things she needs, but most of the game she's treated like second or third best, or mainly an afterthought when she's literally the daughter of the two main victims.
She's a twelve year old who saw one of her own parent's corpse with her own eyes, in a gruesome way. To say she already is getting the short end of the stick, and that even dialogue choices and options for her in the A.ITSF (which is my favorite game btw), consistently puts her down unless it's in her own route. Every other route she's...honestly treated like not much. Yes, she's badass, kind to her friends, continues to help and care, but she's alone and frankly not given much love by the cast (THAT I LOVE which makes it worse) unless noticed. Which, frankly save for Ai.ba, who remarks consistently with compassion about her, it's pretty upsetting.
Then we get to A.INI. And this, and I've talked to friends, we all were anticipating Mi.zuki as the main protagonist if only. She was advertised heavily. There is no reason why people aren't not entitled to feel bitter and sad that she was NOT treated like that, and once again, put to the sidelines as an afterthought like she was in the 'true ending' of the first game. She should have been the main protagonist. If not that, and I really enjoy him, Ry.uki should have been a true dual protagonist beside her their time equally split. I hear how much he deserves better and he does, I totally agree! But honestly, M.izuki, who has been in two games and consistently both in the narrative and in utility given the SHORTEST end of the stick, I feel a bit tired.
So I'm going to be working on a new verse for her. I will still derive heavily from her own route from A.ITSF.
But I will not only write Mi.zuki at twelve, as she deserves not to be in permanent stasis all that time, it isn't that I like A.INI more. It's because I hate that A.INI not only did what A.ITSF did in the end, but it actually retconned her. And everything's been taken from her time and time again in the A.I timeline.
I want to give Mi.zuki growth, love and things she deserves. Because she's been robbed of these things over and over. You'lll see me writing her at all timelines of her life.
I'll derive a few things from A.INI, but she is not A.INI based. Things like yes, she'll by default be involved in an explosion. Yes, by default Ai.ba will be her partner, yes, she'll join A.BIS. I'll likely keep what limited stuff I felt I could take on the source of her godlike combat abilities and physical form. There won't be a B.ibi.
I'll write her like I would have written her like many of us believed we would get. The main protagonist. Maybe there's a different murder case or she's doing them based on her skill as a detective at the time. Maybe I keep as ridiculously dumb as it is, Mi.zuki and co. stopping the virus. Maybe that's the issue, not the six years apart thing. Maybe there's also me writing slice of life stuff and everything in between. I want to explore all of that because I want to see M.izuki growing and see what life is like for her after the worst things happen to her in A.ITSF. I want to give her love, relationships, and growth through experiences and just something that writer doesn't...really seem to want to give her? And this has been a thing for two games, so I want to do something at least in my portrayal, that feels fair to her. Things I can give in my writing that she wasn't given much at all.
Of course some things I'll plot with other people in the A.I universe, but I ask that you meet me halfway, but I will be writing her life spanning from 8-18, not just 12. I will be writing her having support with Ai.ba, too, because they were legitimately wholesome and had a lot of good moments, and I think it's natural that she'd share or partner with her too and not take away from the bond of the original game. Plus A.iba repeatedly shows care and compassion for her, and that's something Mi.zuki desperately needs. I would be lying if I said I want an A.I3 granted the track record of how bad Mi.zuki is treated in the universe and outside of it narratively.
So basically I'll just add a verse that's titled something else and take inspo from what little crumbs I can take from AI.NI, ideas and things, and work on, because I don't ow.n Mi.zuki, things I feel she consistently has deserved but been robbed of. I want to give Mi.zuki all the things that A.INI didn't give her, and also just in both games in general. I love this series so much. But I would be lying if I said I didn't think Mi.zuki got the by far shortest end of the stick, and that's just not what I'm going to do with her here.
So yeah I'll be working on that and probably her bio etc, and keep writing what I feel I want to give her in what way I know how. So yeah guess I'm...sad as things are in canon? At how she's treated but instead of staying that way I'm going to work on writing the things I feel she hasn't gotten / didn't have and just kind of, take it from there.
M.izuki deserves better, so much better than being sidelined all the time, or not given even basic support and comfort, so I'm just going to work on what I feel (because I'm only a Mi.zuki mun) she deserves.
And I think she deserves a lot.
#𝐏𝐒𝐀 *ೃ༄ do you wanna get your ass kicked?#𝐎𝐎𝐂 *ೃ༄ what looks gone but comes back even stronger.#i'm tired oiHOIGWEHOIHWE#this girl has gone through hell over and over i'm not going to write her more robbed than she's already been in /two games/#i love all the characters so much#I just wish better for her
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Metal mirrors hc drabble.
Sada prefers having white noise in the lab. Turo prefers silence. Ai Sada likes to listen to music while they work. But in a democratic nearly unanimous decision AiTuro is not allowed to control the music. Ever.
Turo has no idea what is wrong with him. An inherented glitch? A major malfunction? Some critical error? Divine punishment?
The AI can't create a consistent playlist to save its life. AiSada usually likes traditional Paldean music. Samaba, Baile, and other traditional dance music. (Side note she and AiTuro are very good dancers and Turo is livid with jealousy when it comes it that.). Turo enjoys pop and rock. And Sada adores classical pieces.
AiTuro from what everyone else can tell, has no consistent musical taste. Somehow the worst playlist maker in all of paldea. If AiSada didn't adore him there would be serious trouble. Arven is convinced he is having a stroke when he hears Bach transition into 100 Gec's money machine. Into Rap God. Into 'Fancy like'.
AiSada insists no one shame AiTuro for his... creative tastes. Turo and Sada definitely do though because it is like the one thing they can apparently do better than the AI.
AiTuro's favorite song however? Jumper by Third Eye Blind. It reflects his meager existence so accurately. Yet he's proud of it. His programming tells him to care for the future of the project... but something else tells him to care for the professors. And somehow he knows that part of him is the 'real' him.
Aw, AI Turo being literally the "I listen to everything" kind of guy 💗 I can see him being weirded out by the thought of having a favourite music genre. Why stop at one genre if you can enjoy everything? He genuinely can't understand.
I like it how, despite not in a malicious way, Turo can't help but feeling jealous whenever he sees the two AIs enjoying each other with the simplest things. It must be so painful for both him and Sada to see that, even though I hc Turo as the soft-hearted between the two. While Sada holds her emotions into an iron fortress, Turo really has to struggle to hide them. He's such a crybaby, Sada almost finds it irritating. It reminds her of all the mistakes they made, of the long gone, short lived happiness they once had and about the man she thought she knew.
I also had this cute image in my head of Turo and Sada being pissed at the AIs when they spot them dancing, intimating them to stop with an angry tone. But then... then AI Turo holds his creator's hands and invites him to join. Initially reluctant, the Professor looks away while his replica takes the lead, guiding him to the rhythm of the latino music playing in the background. Turo blushes a little, he's so damn good, where did he learn that?!
Turo: How... no, where did you learn?
AI Turo: YouTube!
Turo, still being dragged into the dance: This YouTube thing is keeping you away from work a little bit too much, isn't it?
AI Turo: Not too much, just the right amount.
The AI performs a dip on him, keeping the eye-contact, looking at his creator from above.
Turo, blushing for Arceus knows why: I... uhm...
AI Turo, smiling the most innocent, genuine way: It is worth, isn't it?
Sada, watching the scene with her arms crossed: Pathetic.
AI Sada: I think you should be trying too, Professor.
Sada: Not even if you pay me.
AI Sada: But we... you used to love dancing.
Sada: That’s right, I used to. I have no time to waste with such shallow activities.
AI Sada: But Professor...
Sada: Back to work.
The AI follows her, her sad glance meeting AI Turo's before she leaves the room.
Turo: I think we should be getting back to work as well.
AI Turo can clearly see an overwhelming sadness in his creator's eyes. He doesn't know what to do; he feels like anything he might say would be either inappropriate or pointless to him. He decides not to do anything, watching him leaving the room in silence.
Why those humans believe they don't deserve happiness anymore? Why do they keep punishing themselves for their past mistakes?
The thought haunts him everyday.
#ask box#metal mirrors au#professor turo#turo#turo pokemon#ai turo#professor sada#Sada#sada pokemon#ai sada#Pokemon#pokemon violet#pokemon scarlet#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon scarvio#lakehouseshipping#cyberlakehouseshipping
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📥👖🧠✨️ for the fic asks!
Thank you Liz! More centered on my ffxiv stuff since this is the blog for that haha. Anyway! Let's get right to it starting with the last question!
FanFic ASk Game
✨ Choose three adjectives to complement your own writing.
Emotional, tongue-in-cheek, free-spirited or at least so I hope!
📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?
Is it cheating to say any of them? Because I love seeing what people have to say on what I write and put out there! Among my ffxiv stuff I always love seeing comments on things that involve Stasia and Carly (which is mostly wips i know) as they are the ones that stray from the general story and aren't always likable so I like being able to see how they come across and make sure that its the way I intend to and think I'm doing when writing. A more specific piece it would have to be this piece with Anthea and the final days. I feel its one of my best works posted in completion and I like seeing how an event like that comes across to others especially given that much of that time period is up to interpretation of an individual.
👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?
No planning we die like men! jk jk I am more of a plantser in that I go into a wip with a general idea in my head on what I want the main focus of a piece to be, the intention of it, and any specific lines or actions that inspired it. After that I just write it out and see what happens! A lot of times I get to where I was planning and in ways I didn't expect, other times I end up somewhere different but it felt so natural writing it that I had to leave it. There are the rare occasions I don't do any planning and just get the urge to write and so I do just that and will come back to it if I get stuck, this happened recently with a piece where I had very little in mind other than knowing Phobos is reading various letters Deimos got, but who they were from and what they said and going back home were all things that I came up with on the spot.
One thing I really let free and hardly put any thought into ahead of time is the formatting of my writing though. I like to at times be a bit of a visual writer in that I will use breaks, bolds, italics, lack of spaces, etc. to convey something that I probably would take too long to write out in any other fashion. Besides how else can I best describe racing thoughts and anxiety than putting a bunch of words together without any space between them haha.
Also will mention that much of my stuff looks like panster writing because I was writing it as I was actively playing the story so I had no idea how it was all going to end and what I wanted to do with my kids as Sib and Demos started in two different universes.
🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?
This would depend more on what you would call a wip. I tend to count anything that's at least a few paragraphs or dialogue long, which there's quite a bit of that. If we're talking just straight ideas then there's plenty of moments that I would love to write but I don't have a way to write them quite yet. Things like the last conversation Carly and Zenos have, the conversation Demos has with his mentor after the Vault, lighter moments like Sib trying to tackle Emet in ShB or the montages of the gang waking up at first light to get moving with a frantic Sib trying to catch up anime style getting ready. Hell the time that Deimos believed he could randomly tame a unicorn resulting in him, Emet, and Hyth being chased by a herd of them. Or the start of Etheirys' Worst Girls Trip with Sib and Stasia landing on their guide. I just have a lot of little things or big moments that I'd love to write because I can see them in my brain and how they play out but it can be so hard to translate that. I feel this is also why gposing has become a way for me to tackle these ideas as I plan as if I'm watching a show or movie so I can better get the angles and descriptions without having to actually describe anything haha.
#writer asks#Thank you again Liz! one day I will be a writer again and I won't have so many wips stashed away
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opinions on blossutch,,, thoughts, headcanons, or maybe you hate it now idk.
This is going to be a long post because there are so, so, so, so many thoughts I have on Blossutch. I think about them, at least, once a day, to keep me sane.
Blossom has always been my favorite puff. There's something about A-Type characters and me, we just jam together. Butch, on the other hand, grew on me so freaking much when writing and expanding on what his character can be. He's a crackle of energy and lives in the moment and is kind of all over the place, but he just wants to make whatever he's doing fun for himself and those around him. The dude is observant and better at understanding people than you may think.
This is kind of where I like to find their balance. Butch brings a needed spontaneous nature into Blossom's by-the-books life. She helps him want to get organized, or at least, motivates him to figure shit out and have a direction to whatever he pleases. She thinks analytically, he thinks with emotions; they see both sides of things and learn together. Blossom, let's face it, is a perfectionist, it's her fatal flaw, but Butch is a person who's okay with failing and trying again. Seeing that from the person she admires dearly, eases her fears and it's what allows her to feel the most comfortable with Butch. Blossom is the one person who takes Butch seriously when no one has, and he's pretty sure she's the first person to ever turn to him for advice or acknowledge his intellect. He's loud and obnoxious and outgoing, he's absolutely ridiculous to be with, but he's also the person Blossom has laughed the hardest with and why she's more willing to put herself out there and open up to people. And with Blossom, Butch finds the beauty of what can be said in the silence.
As far as head canons:
Growing up, Blossom didn't think much of Butch other than twitchy ruff, and for Butch, she was girl Brick. They don't really interact beyond puff/ruff feuding and school bump-ins, until later in high school when they're assigned as lab partners and from it, a budding friendship into best friends that doesn't take a turn until their mid-twenties.
Blossom is the big spoon. Always.
They're the kind of couple whose favorite thing is just to be with each other. They could be waiting at the DMV for hours, or suffering from food poisoning, but if it's together, it was the best day. This also makes them the worst couple to invite places. Because if you invite one, you best believe the other will be there, and they kind of will do their own thing. This isn't a diss or intentional, it's just they have the most fun when with each other.
Shouldn't be surprising, but they are THAT couple when it comes to PDA. Butch is a touchy, puppy dog kind of a guy, and Blossom has come to understand and accept his need for physical touch. Besides, he's hot and she's allowed to make out with him whenever she so pleases.
They are terrible sleepers. Butch has too much energy to get more than two-three hours if he's lucky. Blossom, either overworks herself or her mind overthinks. This leads to them having a lot of late-night hang-outs/dates at the start of things, and when they do move in together, they find it a bit easier to sleep until an acceptable five to six hours.
They have the worst taste in media consumption. Their watchlist consists solely of whatever is ranked low on IMDb, and probably the reason that one shitty show you swear no one watches got renewed. The same goes for Blossom's choice in non-academic reading. Any of those terrible romantasy books you've heard about, she's torn through it with highlighted passages and colored sticky tabs on all the cringy dialogue/plot holes/questionable smut. She rants to Butch about them often, and sometimes, he'll quote something to see if she notices (primarily the spicy stuff). 97% of the time she catches it, and 3% of the time she's embarrassed a line worked on her.
Butch buys her flowers every other week just before the last bouquet is about to die.
Butch is and will always be ACAB, and he is strongly against any superhero organization. He gets Blossom and her sisters are genuinely trying to make a difference and help people, but superheroing sometimes involves collaborating with cops. Unless there's an attempt of assault or murder, Butch won't get involved even if it's happening right in front of them. This tends to be their biggest disagreement because Blossom understands his personal grievances and she agrees to a point with him, but she does wish he'd helped out when a robbery or monster attack derailed their date night.
Before they even got together, they were relationship people. Blossom's past ones were known to have at least a two-year minimum, and Butch had a hard time entertaining anything if he wasn't committed due to his quickness of boredom.
Blossom's humor is saltine-cracker dry and her jokes are often taken as rude because not a lot of people realize she's attempting a joke, they don't even think she's capable of telling one. But ask Butch, and he'll tell anyone willing to listen she's the funniest person he's ever met.
While I'm a color-crack shipper first, I do love other ships (brickercup, the blues, bubbles and/or boomer having a queer relationship with a normie), and I like to think of Blossutch as the constant. There has to be a time of wacky hijanks that lead to them and the others breaking into the multiverse later in life, and while their siblings are disgusted/perplexed by whoever is paired differently with them, Blossom and Butch are together in every alternative timeline they are shown.
Okay, okay. I think that's more than enough. Before I go, I wanted to say thank you for this ask. I've been putting off a Blossutch project I have planned for a summer release (hence why I think about them daily) and this definitely got the ol' brain working in the right direction. Hope this was something worth reading, lol.
#blossutch#powerpuff girls#can you tell how much I love them?#blossom utonium#butch jojo#ppg blossom
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now that I've more definitively finished series 5 I can comfortably say that it was probably my least favorite run of the revival to this point lmao. at the very best it's on part with series 3 - the weakest of the RTD era - while at its worst it's genuinely unwatchable
there's definitely some merit here though. it's very entertaining if you stop expecting character beats to be sprinkled in while in a general sense it performs its role of entertainment really well. it's flashy and snappy and loud from the first minute of The Eleventh Hour and rarely slows down from there. there was a clear desire to continue the more Epic nature of the show that had started bubbling up during series 4 where it was, yanno, kind of earned
but that bombastic nature is kind of the biggest positive about it. gone are the deeper meanings and narratives, character introspection is often relegated to jokes or just kind of unearned. any depth the RTD era might have carried did not get passed on here, with 11 being a huge asshole for like 9 out of 13 episodes while you could remove Amy from every episode and I doubt I'd notice
Moffat clearly leaned more towards a fairy tale interpretation of the Doctor and the world around them, but it largely falls flat because characters are rarely humanized. everyone seems to be carrying the punchline to someone else's joke and little else. there's a magic to certain things, sure, and it does start to trend upwards near the end of the series, but it's bogged down by this weirdly incessant need for quips and jokes regardless of the situation. imagine if at the end of the Library two parter, the Doctor and Donna had a fuckin laugh in the TARDIS. like c'mon
generally speaking too I found 11 to be more annoying than I remembered. he constantly talks about not having a plan and constantly makes these weird little aside jokes during his ramblings but we don't really see him ever be genuine or nice to anyone for a long while - certainly not towards Amy, either, who he at times seems to fucking hate lmao. multiple times I wondered why she kept on with him, but she never once really seems to want to go home because of how she's treated and only does after some harrowing adventure seems to wake her up - until it doesn't! like idk if she just wanted to fuck the guy that badly - the scene where she both jumps him and spreads out for him is so sincerely embarrassing I cannot believe it got filmed - or if she was just. stubborn? stupid? we don't get much from Amy, not enough to know her at least, to the point that fucking Rory, a guy in like five episodes, is a better character than her. what the fuck!
there's also more of a reliance on CGI this series than before and while I don't tend to fault TV CGI all that much it really starts to get difficult to brush off or otherwise ignore when a lot of elements are CGI'd in and that CGI just. doesn't hold up. the CGI during RTD's era wasn't great, but it was often more skillfully utilized and so it was at least more charming than it is here. similarly, I noticed the ADR was way fucking worse this time around than I'd ever noticed before. entire exchanges come through that were clearly recorded in a booth somewhere and it's really funny honestly
ultimately I think series 5 does play to Moffat's strengths to good effect at times - the opening of Eleventh Hour with 11 and Amelia is still really solid, a lot of the timey whimey fucky wucky stuff is done with consistency enough that you can sorta easily follow it - but all too often you can kinda see his stories straining now that they aren't just one offs in someone else's narrative. a lot of the other writers similarly seemed to struggle, given just how bad some stories get. the Silurian two parter was genuinely so bad I wondered why they brought them back, while the Angel two parter feels as if it was made to sabotage the angels as a concept lmao
it's not all bad, and it's certainly entertaining enough all the same. Vincent and the Doctor still holds up, the Lodger was more fun than you might expect, Amy's Choice is largely fun while I even enjoyed the finale stuff to a point, and Christmas Carol is a genuine standout among the holiday specials (mostly because it's. actually focused on Christmas this time around. lmao), and there's solid moments spread throughout even the worst of the episodes, with the best of them being obviously focused on humanity and relatable traits - a thing the RTD era unabashedly leaned into
but it's such a step down from the peak that was series 4. all the character work is just gone, everything feels so much less thoughtful and the characters themselves tend to range from annoying to boring and little else. there are always gonna be growing pains when crews behind the scenes change like they did here, but some of series 5 is worse beyond that excuse. I can see why it stayed hot, why it caught on even more so and why so many fell in love with this series - it's entertaining if you don't look too deep, the characters enjoyable if you don't expect much from them, Matt and Karen have obvious chemistry as leads despite the best efforts to stamp that out - but as I feel right now, it's super overrated and largely just sort of okay at best with a few great highlights and some drastic lowlights all the same. far from a classic, but still not the dirt worst I guess
at least series 6 is. Moffat at his Moffiest!
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