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hikarinon · 4 years

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“I don’t think you understand how scared I am of losing you”

━━━━━━。

Haikyuu!! fanfiction // Bokuto Koutarou

summary: being unable to love yourself, the idea of being the villain in his story sounded so .... right .

But turns out your boyfriend knows his plot better than you do.

pairings: Bokuto Koutaro x reader

warnings: fluff, self-degradation, angst, swearing, slight nsfw

song: The Truth Untold - BTS

//Sometimes doing the right thing feels so wrong//

“You deserve someone better, Kou.” your mouth twitched into an eventual smile. A lump passing through your throat, seeking a way out through your eyes. His brows drew together “Huh? Baby I don’t get it, what are yo-” your lips tenderly press themself against his forehead. His face altered back into his usual happy go lucky expression.

His smile.

You didn’t want to leave without him wearing it.

You turned around, just to be halted by a familiar warm hand. “You’re not going to wait till I’m done practice?”. No Bokuto, I’m not you bit your lower lips, bruising them from the inside, yet not breaking the smile.

“Be happy, Kou” and with that, you left. Leaving an oblivious Bokuto on the steps of the gym, constantly being called back in by the coach.

Sometimes doing the right thing feels so wrong.

Bloomed in a garden of loneliness

A flower that resembles you

You took in a sharp breath as you closed the door behind you. You’re not worth it he was always there for you, never one text left on read, never one call being declined. You’ll never make him happy whereas you have never even given half of the love he gave you.

Why are you so dramatic. It’s just a break up. Wouldn’t it be rational for you to let go of someone who you know would never be happy with you, someone like you. Your eyes studied the photo placed on top of your desk.

‘How did I even make him smile that wide’

You’ll never love anyone if you stay like this

The same sentence kept repeating your mind ever since, ever since that day.

‘god, that’s his type?’

‘you’re not even that nice’

‘they are totally one sided, I can tell’

‘he’ll break up with you eventually’

Why do people find happiness in degrading others. And why is it so easy for you to believe in them. So easy that you ended up turning them into the truth. Atleast I’m honest, right?

*ringringring*

The picture of him blasting on your phone screen. The urge to press the green button and act like nothing happened sounded so sweet, so simple to do.

Cancelled

‘ 21 missed calls ’

I wanted to give it to you

After I take off this foolish mask

Tears welling up your eyes. It’s for the best, you thought. It doesn’t matter whether you cry or not. As long as he doesn’t.

Your heart clenched way too hard when you saw his text saying ‘baby? We should talk, yeah?’ ‘or if your tired we’ll talk later okay, goodnight babe~’

‘ I love you ’

Ahhh, so this is pain

The only thing you want right now is, no it’s not his cuddles, no not his kisses, no not him. All you want is for him to be happy. And from your own conviction, without you.

The heart does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.

But you had no idea how badly he wanted your name to light up on his phone screen that night.

Swollen eyes can easily be fixed with concealer, some powder, and a sweet smile. Prom night is just two days away. Better get your shit back together. Well it’s not like you’re gonna go with a date anyway, you scoffed

“Hey, tell us. Asap” one of your friends asked. Of course she could see through the make up. “You did it, huh?” the other one spoke up, “We’re not gonna judge you y/n, it’s your decision.” the memory of them telling you that it was a stupid idea passing back through your mind.haha

Then they wrapped their arms around yours, so it looks like you’re entangled together with you in the middle. “Just remember that we love you, okay bitch?”

You couldn’t help but smile delightedly, “Thankyou” you continued, “God I love you guys so much I might just ask yall to be my prom date” the one on the left chirped brightly “Don’t speak to soon love. Look” her head bobbed to the front.

And there it is, Bokuto Kotarou, circling around the school gate, bag held by his hair, just like usual.

“Y/n baby!” your friends parted to give you some privacy, pouring their hope upon you. You both, that is.

Your face crumbled as you saw them leaving you. What are you gonna say now? He pulled you by the wrist, gently. For a guy like him, this just goes to show how tender he treats you, like you’re the most the most precious thing that exists in his whole entire world.

“What were you saying yesterday babe?” his beamed smile, the smile that always makes your day, “HAHAHA it almost sounded like you were breaking up with me LMAOO-” and here you are, destroying it.

But I know

I can't do that forever

“Yeah, Bokuto, we should. Actually we already have.” It took a few seconds for him to process your sentence, then his mouth fell open. Yes, give him your ironical smile, make him hate you. “ I told you didn’t I? be happy.”

This is bad. You’re breathing too hard. He stared at you wide eyed, head shaking no no no. You cocked your head upwards to meet his face, expecting him to cry or whine like he always does.

But no, he was serious, seriously hurt. His brows furrowed together, mouth slightly gaping, his eyes were swirling with mixed up emotions and disbelief. Poor bokuto couldn’t decide whether he was sad, confused, mad, annoyed, or dejected. But one things for sure, he wasn’t happy.

“ I can’t do that without you, y/n.”

Don’t smile to me

Lie to me

For an airhead, he’s pretty good with words, you thought. Or maybe you’re just wrapped around his fingers that simple.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto.” was the only thing you said.

and again, you left him. No explanation, just a simple ‘ I’m sorry ’ to end the day

Schools done, proms tomorrow, you’re pathetic. You took another sip of your bobba tea. The cashier even asked where was your boyfriend. Yeah where is he, maybe he finally realized that you were right, that he’d be happier with someone else besides you. But god knows just how much you begged for him to magically appear in front of you, sitting on his usual chair, jubilantly sipping on his drink.

Your heart stopped when you saw a hand putting down a drink. Hope immediately lost when you saw that it was not his usual drink, it was someone else’s.

“Hey, Akaashi”

He didn’t reply fast, it took a few seconds of his judgemental stare down till he started “At first I thought you were too smart for him y/n. turns out you’re two peas in a pod.” his face was stern, but you could feel the genuine disappointment from the way he looked you in the eyes. He took a sip of his drink then continued with his speech, “Why would you do that, y/n?”

“That’s none of your business, I believe.”

“I believe it is y/n, you know tha-”

“FINE, he deserves better, that’s why.”

“Who gives a single fuck on who he deserves if the only one he wants is you.”

I have to hide

Because I'm a monster

You breath hitched. The urge to cry choking you again. You were speechless. Akaashi was tired. His best friend’s emotion infected him and there was no turning back. He stood up, grabbed his bag and placed one hand of sympathy on your left shoulder.

“This might make you feel worse but I don’t care, I want you to. He ugly cried the whole day in the infirmary, just. so. you. know.”

Finally, prom night came. It says 6:30 pm, you still had half an hour to get ready before Bokuto comes so better hurry uOh wait “hahahaha funny, brain.” you fixated yourself on the mirror. You were suppose to wear this with him tonight. No, it would just be a coincidence of two people wearing the same color. That doesn’t sound so bad.

And with that you took off. The fear of meeting him will always be there, but running away from prom won’t be too much of a fun decision would it? The moment you arrived, you found your way with your friends. They instantly shoved a drink into your hand with the most radiant of faces.

“CHEERS”

Where was Bokuto you asked? He, is sitting on the bench area surrounded by other popular folks. “Hey sweetie, let’s have some fu-” he shoved his untouched cup of punch in front of the girl “Here. Fun.”

he proceeded to focus on the entrance, waiting for you to arrive with the dress that matched with his tie. And yes, finally. There you are, drinking, cheering, you looked happy. ‘would’ve looked better if I was beside her though’ he thought. With his most confident face, he stood up, only to be held on the wrist by Akaashi,

“What do you think you’re doing.”

His eyes rolled up glancing at the ceiling, as if he was contemplating on a stupid mission. then with playful smile he looked back down at Akaashi

“I’m just gonna go there and tell her she’s beautiful, that’s all” He enlightened him with his signature smirk.

His best friend smiled with proud ‘I guess he’s not that dumb after all’ , “Good luck, Bokuto-san”

The walk towards you, a mere eight meter distance walk felt like eternity. But with his triumph face, he kept his sail high. Letting the winds of miss and hope push him further. He knew nothing of what’s needed to do. All he knows is that you’re beautiful, and he wasn’t going to let the night end without letting you know.

If I had the courage to stand before you

Would everything be different now

You, laughing, glanced at him from the corner of your eyes, and you smiled, forgetting that you were over. God, how he missed that smile. “hey KouEH I-I mean Bokuto…” your voice stammered as you finally remembered. He on the other hand didn’t even notice. His head was stuck between doing the former plan, or just forcibly shove his tongue right down your throat.

“what’s up, Bo-”

“I-I uhm…” he lost it. He lost his cool. One more slip and he’ll go emo mode.

“Oh sure I’ll dance with you!” you pulled him to dance floor. What am I doing you couldn’t look at him despite the way you’re foolishly smiling like an idiot. The moment you found yourself standing beneath the crowds, you pulled him into a dancing position, shyly, knowing your past remarks

“What were you going to say?”

“Why did you do that, y/n?” Him not calling you pet names still felt foreign

“I thought you wanted to say someth-”

“No, I meant why did you think I deserve someone else”

I'm crying

That’s disappeared

That’s fallen

No, Kou I don’t want you to cry his eyes were fighting back the tears. You could see the way he bit his lower lips as his brows shakily drew together. Your grip on his shoulder tightened. You never wanted this to happen. You did this to make him happy, not to make him…. broken like this.

“i- you should be happy, Kou. You won’t be with me.”

“I would. I am. I will. P-please I’ll do anything” he pleaded with everything he had, still struggling not to cause a commotion. He’s so perfect. But no, you’re not.

“I’m not worth the pain, Kou I-”

“THAT’S FOR ME TO DECIDE Y/N-” he brutally pulled you by the waist, smashing you onto his strong chest, face just seconds to meeting as his eyes burned into yours.

“-NOT YOU!”

He was mad.

His warm breath against your skin felt so right, making you unable to notice just how all eyes were stuck on both of you. Your eyes suddenly felt blurry.

Left alone in this sandcastle

Looking at this broken mask

The moment he saw tears falling down your cheeks, his whole expression dropped. You, still unsteady, still unable to realize how he was gently hugging you by the waist and bare shoulder, bringing you out of the gym. He immediately pulled you into an empty classroom, closing the door shut. His strong arms lifting you up to sit on top of a desk, so that he could even up your height with his, nose to nose

“Baby, baby, please stop crying. You know I’ll cry too if you do.” his sweet fingers, always so sweet just for you. Wiping out every tears that escaped your eyes. “I’m so sorry I yelled back there. Talk to me sweetheart, let’s work this out.”

You’re making things so hard for me, Kou

“I’m a pain in the ass, Kou that’s what I am. You’re… you’re just to good for me. I’m so scared of losing you, of you leaving me because of this, because I can’t fucking love my damn self.” you sniffled,

And I still want you

“T-That’s why I thought I should take up the part y’know? Be the villain in this story. Leave you in the hopes of you getting a better fairytale than I have to offer.”

“Baby, I don’t think you understand how scared I am of losing you.” he whispered against your forehead as he showered you with kisses all over you sad expression, hoping for it to disappear. “Sto-stop being like this, Kou.” more waves of tears just came barging through as you felt his wet lips finding themselves behind your ears whispering ‘I love you’ s over and over again. “I’m stupid, I’m dumb, I’m not worth it, I’m not worth the fight, I’m so annoying, I overreact to much.” your voice hiccuped between each sentence, practically wheezing for air, “B-but….”

“But?” Those eyes, those hopeful puppy eyes. Always showing up on the wrong, yet most perfect time. Unaware on how it shows just how he finally won you over. Again.

You smiled.

Ahhh I give up

“B-but I still want you”

It came out like a pleading whisper. Finally escaping from your heart. Warm his lips tenderly, lovingly pressing themselves on yours, ecstasy filling your stomach as his hands supported the back of your head the moment he went further inside of you.

It felt like a bomb. The explosion of everything you held in you, released as his tongue put dominance on yours. After a few minutes, he finally released.

He pecked your lips softly, then proceeded to press his forehead against yours, looking right into your glazing eyes, drowning them in his

“Then that’s all I needed to hear.”

And I still want you.

p.s you don’t need anyone, not even Bokuto, for you to know that you are worth it, you are amazing, and you are loved. -self love

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queennicoleinboots · 4 years

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Peter turns into a Giraffe, and I am now a Jaguar (Xara POV)

If there is one human being I have hated more than life itself in the last two and a half years, it is Peter Parker. He is the most self-absorbed, immune-to-aging, immature, dense, airheaded, curly-haired NUISANCE JERK I HAVE EVER MET! I cannot take his bullshit anymore. I can't believe we haven't killed each other yet. He was so obnoxious today. He hit his all-time high of being the biggest, curly-haired, glasses-wearing, green-eyed, TALL douche on the face of the Earth.

My day with him was the worst ever in the entirety of my still 30-year-old body. I refuse to age if this dickwad can still look 40 while almost being 55. He can be 55. I'll remain 30 for the next year or so. Fuck him. Fuck him and his fountain of youth. His bullshit was INCESSANT. First, he purposely tossed his mold samples that he collected for the sheer purpose of fucking with me into his bath tub and made me clean them. Then, he snickered and placed an alive American roach into his toilet bowl while letting it swim until it was hiding in the rim. I screamed bloody murder and yelled, "Fuck you, Peter Parker!"

He laughed at me again because he is a son of a bitch. I threw a can of Pete's Liquid Gold at his fucking curly-haired head. I was so sick of his never-ending bullshit.

While he was peacefully cleaning up his room and making random noises to relieve mental anguish, I was dealing with yet another sample of mold in the guest bathroom. He had it in the sink and bath tub. I sighed and cleaned it, but believe me when I say that I wanted to shove the bottle of cleaning spray up his ass. And, I was so pissed because he even had a talking toilet in the bathroom.

"Hello. I wanted to let you know that Peter's shit is abundant and nutritious," the toilet said.

I slammed the lid on the toilet hard before I started a barrage of verbal abuse toward this beanstalk nuisance pest jerk. "PETER YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE!!! EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD IS YOUR FAULT!!! YOU HAVE SINGLE-HANDEDLY MY RUINED MY LIFE WITH YOUR CURLY HAIR AND ABUNDANT TALENT THAT DWARFS MINE!!!!"

Peter laughed as he made his room look perfectly normal in between making random sounds that helped him relieve stress and anxiety. Those sounds made me laugh both out of sheer nervousness and high amusement.

A text message came in on my phone. It was Colonel America telling me that Gabby sent his regards. I read this text while Peter was going on his own tirade: "Happy extremely-belated Birthday. Again. You can't stop the aging process. Gabby can attest that. He sends his regards."

I sent this text while Peter still kept going: "GABBAYY!!! Thank you, Colonel America, but I refuse to be older than 30 until I am 33. Fuck 31. I hate that number. It's a name of a multi-level marketing company that sells handbags. It might as well sell tiny classified ads."

Because I can process more than one conversation at a time, I can tell you that Peter said, "If I am the biggest pain in the ass you've ever met, you have it made. Also, I am not the cause of half of the bullshit NEUROSES you have in your head. And good God there's a lot. Jeez. I've met a lot of women, but yours is up there Jesus Christ! Your life has been a pile of shit BEFORE you met me. I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! Crazy. You're crazy. CRAAAAAZZZYY!!!!" He sang the word "CRAAAAAZZZYY!!!!"

"Ugh. Am not! Or maybe I am. It's your fault. Your drive me crazy!" I yelled.

"Again that's crazy. You were CERTIFIABLY INSANE before you knew I even existed," Peter said with an obnoxious laugh. Goddamn I wanted to punch him.

"Fuck you! I hate how much better than me you are than I am!" I screamed at him.

Peter laughed. "Some of us just got it," he said casually. "Nice redundancy! Ha! Ha!"

"Yeah, I know. Fuck you. You flaunt it in my face EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!!! I hate the English language, and I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!" I screamed as I threw a bottle of multipurpose cleaner at his door.

The fucker laughed. "I only see you three times a week. Haha." He snickered before the small vacuum cleaner turned into Gabby. "Oh no. What the fuck?"

"THIS IS CNN!" Gabby said as he jumped on Peter's bed.

"What the shit is going on?" I asked.

"FUCK IF I KNOW! My vacuum cleaner turned into Gabby Hayes from CNN. WHY?! I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING NEWSWORTHY!!!!" Peter screamed.

"You exist, Peter W. Parker. That's newsworthy," Gabby said.

"GABBAYYYY!!!" I yelled as I charged into Peter's room to cuddle and kiss Gabby.

Gabby kissed me and then laid on top of me. "This is newsworthy. Thank you, Xara. I missed you," he said.

"Goddamn. You know the news has gone to shit when a Siamese cat appears in my bedroom out of my God-Forsaken vacuum cleaner, and it's newsworthy holy Shit. Get a recall on this fucking vacuum cleaner," Peter said as he scratched his head.

Gabby and I laughed. Gabby was laying on my stomach and purring.

"Why my Uncle Irwin decided to give short notice to his visit is beyond me. Maybe because his prefrontal cortex was malformed after a car accident. Ya know, a lot of shit has happened to my family because of car accidents," Peter said thoughtfully.

"Sorry to hear," Gabby said.

"Yeah, me, too. My sister died. Uncle Irwin's brain was damaged. My cousin Richard had a back injury... I had a black woman chase me while she was masturbating because I rear-ended her..." Peter trailed off.

Gabby and I laughed again.

I lifted Gabby off of me and put him on the bed. "I have to piss," I said as I went into the bathroom.

I lifted the lid of the toilet to sit down.

"Nice ass," the toilet said.

"Thank you," I said as I sat down on him and peed.

"Deelicious! Deelicious! DELICIOOOOUSSS!!! DELICIOOOOUSSS!!!

DELICIOOOOUSSS!!!" the toilet sang.

I wiped myself off down there before flushing the toilet.

"DELICIOOOOUSSS!!!" the toilet sang.

I washed my hands and continued to clean the bathroom. I opened the door to continue to speak. "Peter, I can't believe you made me come here bright and early again. I thought you learned from a year and seven months ago that waking me up early would cause mayhem and destruction in your life!"

"Blame Uncle Irwin. He's the one coming here at 3. He wanted to conduct business with my dad and hang out with me. I wake up bright and early, so I'm totally fine with it. You're the one on a weird schedule," Peter said as he walked in here.

I turned to him. "Only to avoid humanity," I said with a smile.

"That's your problem," Peter said with a smirk as he looked directly in my eyes.

"It's MY prerogative!" I said and danced to the tune of 'It's My Prerogative' by Bobby Brown.

"Great song! It's MY prerogative!" Peter sang along in an obnoxious high-pitched voice.

I laughed before he started laughing. We laughed for a few minutes before he straightened up and said, "Get back to work!"

I sighed. "Fine!!! Jerk," I said as I scoffed.

He sighed loudly. I sighed. He sighed again. I sighed again.

Gabby meowed loudly.

"Gabbbaaayyyyyyy!!!!" I yelled as I was finishing up my job in the bathroom.

"We have to make Irwin's bed," Peter said.

Gabby then announced, "THIS IS CNN."

"I'm well aware!!!" Peter said as he stormed to the guest room. I knew he stormed because I heard stomping.

I emerged from the bathroom to help that irate curly-haired pain in the ass. He was muttering swear words and struggling to make the bed while I was dusting his room.

"CAN YOU HELP ME?! I CAN'T TELL IF THE SHEETS ARE HANGING ON THE SAME LENGTH ON BOTH SIDES!!!" Peter screamed.

"Sure, jerk," I said as I checked both sides of the bed. "A slight hair uneven on the right side." I went back to dusting.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, CAN YOU HELP ME?!" Peter screamed as he attempted to put a pillow case on the pillow before throwing it on the bed.

"I'm busy," I said as I stopped dusting before purposely messing up the bed by putting the wrong blanket on the bed.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Peter screamed before throwing his hands in the air.

I laughed. "Making the bed," I said.

"No. Fuck you. That's the wrong blanket," Peter said as he took the blanket off and threw it over Gabby who was watching in extreme amusement.

I laughed and then helped him put the right blanket on the bed. As soon as we attempted to straighten it, Peter huffed.

"Fuck it. It works. I don't care. He can sleep in it. If he doesn't like it, he can kiss my ass," Peter said loudly as he sat on the bed and punched a pillow.

I cracked up. "Are you okay?" I asked while falling on the floor and laughing.

Peter turned his head toward me and looked at me. "Am I okay? Yeah, I'm fine! My uncle Irwin is coming over, and I'm totally not ready. Yeah, everything's great, just great."

"All right! Maybe you won't mind being a giraffe then!" I yelled as I turned him into his favorite animal: a giraffe like I did two years ago. He was still tall, pale, and awkward.

He bleated and looked at me with a "WTF" look.

What the world doesn't know is that I can be a bitch at times, especially to Peter Parker. I have been trolling him for the past two years. I started when he was 52 years old and looking like a 40-year-old. It all started when I handed him a sheet of drywall from Mr. Williamson's garage. (Mr. Williamson was formerly known as Mr. Bright and Early.) Mr. Williamson and I thought it would be funny to torment Peter Parker with what he hated most: drywall. Plus, I am *still* pissed that he is more talented than I am at everything. Fuck him.

Peter turned 55 today. Two years ago, he turned 53. Peter doesn't look like he aged a minute except for a few gray hairs. He is an asshole, and I am jealous.

He seemed to have forgotten that I existed because he was dealing with everyone in his house being sick and/or crippled. We had developed a like-hate friendship that was special. He was the hero, and I was the villain. We argued, trolled, spoke, and had wonderful misadventures together. Then life told me to fuck off. I was unfulfilled because I couldn't hardcore troll Peter anymore. Well, fuck it, I turned Peter into a giraffe again out of sheer spite and frustration!

I laughed and slapped him softly on his side.

"Well, I can't very well continue to clean up being a giraffe," Peter said as he bleated and walked out the door. "Finish up. I can't take this anymore!" He bleated again.

I laughed and continued to clean his house before I turned into a jaguar. I howled in pride when my work was complete.

Peter was outside bleating. I noticed three Venus flytraps emerging from the toilets in the massive toilet garden. I grinned and then made the toilets come alive as though they were the three fairies in Sleeping Beauty.

The three toilets sang French opera as loud as they could outside Peter's house. Peter bleated loudly and joined in on their singing.

"Happy Birthday! Care to take your first poop as a 55-year-old?" the first toilet asked as she opened her mouth wide.

The second toilet said, "Super Coping Giraffe, we have been following you since you were born... 55 years ago."

The third toilet said, "We are inspired by your super coping poops!"

A bird was flying at full speed at Peter's long neck. "Care to reinact 9-1-1? This story is for the birds!" it squawked.

"Let's make like pigeons and shit on this story!" the second bird said as it was also flying at full speed at Peter's long neck.

"Ahhh!!! I'm a super coping giraffe that looks like a llama. I can't believe my housekeeper did this to me again! My life is so awkward!" Peter said as he started running down the driveway.

The pigeons took large shits on Peter's driveway and on Irwin's car before they flew away.

Uncle Irwin drove up the driveway and asked the giraffe, "Excuse me. Is this the Parker residence? Can you believe that my car just got bombarded with bird shit?"

"Yes. I'm Peter Parker," Peter said as he leaned his head down to Irwin's window. "And I just want to pretend that birds didn't shit all over my existence."

"Why the fuck is spiderman a giraffe?" Irwin asked.

Peter bleated loudly and started jumping up and down. "I'm Peter WALLACE Parker! I'm a fucking giraffe! I'm not Spiderman. I used to be Super Coping Man before I had a mental breakdown a year and a half ago! Goddammit!" he screamed.

Irwin beat on his steering wheel and started laughing hysterically. "Oh sorry, Peter. I didn't recognize you because you were a giraffe," he said.

Peter bleated loudly and rolled his eyes. "Do you need help carrying your things in?" he asked.

"No thank you. But I would like to get some sleep," Irwin said as he got out of the car and grabbed a few bags.

"Okay," Peter said as he walked to the mailbox to pick up the mail.

I pounced at Peter and Irwin to startle them. I threw in a loud jaguar growl for added effect.

Peter bleated in fright and dropped the mail.

Irwin dropped his bags and shouted. "Aaahhhhh! What are you?"

"Hi! I'm Peter's housekeeper, Xara. I'm a jaguar, but I look like Foamy the Squirrel. I'm glad you're here, Irwin, because your nephew is boring!" I said before I growled at them again.

"What universe am I in?!" Irwin screamed as he picked up his bags and ran inside.

"Why did you choose now to turn me into a giraffe? Fuck you," Peter said as he kicked me.

"Because it's funny, and you piss me off," I said as I pounced on his butt and started munching on the flesh.

A familiar basenji was charging up the driveway.

"Holy Shit! Tug?! What are you doing here?! I thought you were dead!" Peter exclaimed with a happy, long-lasting bleat as he jumped up and down.

Tug howled and ran up to Peter. They were playing together.

I jumped off Peter's butt before I said, "Happy Birthday, Peter. I finally was able to resurrect Tug for you. Now you have two pets named Tug and Ted."

Ted the Alligator was slinking near the toilets in the toilet garden. "Holy Shit, Tug returned!" he said. "We shall celebrate this day. Happy Birthday, Peter Wallace Parker. And happy Thanksgiving. We are thankful for Tug's return."

Tug did his dance and howled with pride.

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