Tumgik
#but then one day for some reason they up and deleted all of it
stardustlixie · 17 hours
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hyunjin, the heartthrob
[pairing: fem!dom!reader x sub!hyunjin]
[warnings: smut, degradation (like a lot), dumbassery, confusion about feelings, angry sex (kinda?), unprotected penetration (don't do this), choking, hair pulling, bondage, cunnilingus, light slapping (like twice)]
[REPOST FROM MY DELETED SMUT BLOG]
[author's note: i can't do this anymore, the grip he has on my brain is insane. this is kinda weird?? read at your own risk lmao, not responsible for the brain damage, pt.2 might be written?]
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hyunjin as the type of guy to be the uni heartthrob annoying you for no apparent reason. he keeps following you around, trying to talk to you, even tho your replies make it quite clear that you want him gone. you're the quiet, scary and academic type and he's the loud, funny and popular type. the entire campus questions why he's following someone like you around, but they're afraid of saying anything because his friends always keeping lurking, glaring down anyone who tries to question him.
even tho his friend group looks quite intimidating in the distance, they're just a bunch of dorks. and so is he. but with a massive crush on you. he finds you quite scary tho, your almost neutral expression and no bullshit attitude intimidating most people that come your way. he saw just a glimpse of your kindness once, when you baby-talked to your friend's cat, he almost lost it. but he mostly sees your other side, the undefeatable one that shows in the debates in your sociology class that he sneaks in to watch, the mean one that you once used to make someone cry when they targeted your bestfriend.
he gets off to that meaner side of you, that's his dirty little fantasy. he wants to be degraded by that side and be used for your amusement while he's unable to do something to help himself, and your softer side to soothe him afterwards.
but that just stays a fantasy.
until..
you're in the library one weekend, just to return some books and pick up new ones for your research, you walk out to the corridors to see none other, than hwang fucking hyunjin. he wasn't expecting to see you there, but he bursts into a smile, pulling his attention from whatever he had in his hands.
"hey, yn!" he waves at you, you shove your stuff into your bag and walk the opposite of his direction, also opposite to where you need to go. you can't do this right now.
it's not like you hate him, you think he's cute, you're beginning to get used to him following you, maybe you'd even give him a chance on a good day. but your day has been shitty enough as is. you can't bring yourself to interact with him just now.
"heyy, you didn't wave back." he jogs up to you and starts walking alongside you. oh how you wish he'd just be his own way for once.
he doesn't like your lack of reaction. you're not even sparing him a glace!
"come ooonnn, stop ignoring me!" he pouts at you with a whine all too dramatic.
"leave me alone, hyunjin" you hiss at him. you really don't wanna say something worse, but it's like he trying to........ provoke you? he's being much more pushy than he usually is, and there's no one in the corridors on a godddam weekend and you're very fucking close to snapping.
"ynnn!! pay attention to me!" he whines again, really wanting to provoke you. he's not blind, he notices you're not in a mood to be messed with. but a tiny, little parts of him wants to push you further, to maybe make you snap at him.
and when he crosses the line and touches your waist, you do.
you snap.
pushing him to nearest wall with some force, drawing his breath out of his lungs. you pin him there and your anger flows out, in sharp, hurtful words.
"the fuck do you think you were doing? what makes you think you can touch me? is this another dare from your group of fuckboys? or are you just a little attention whore who thinks he's entitled to everyone?"
you didn't mean a word you said, your anger was making up stuff on it's own, but he was flushed, a wild red on his face, that's when your gaze dropped to the floor, looking at whatever he dropped when you shoved him. you lean down to pick them up.
pictures. of you. not too many, not pictures taken by invading your privacy, but a few snaps of you in the corridors, or the canteen, or the library. times when you were fully aware he was there, from that one polaroid phase he had, he used to carry that thing around for a full two weeks.
the pictures flip something in you, you take your chances with him. you wanna test him, you know it's risky, but your brain isn't weighing it very well currently.
"god, hyunjin. look at you-" your voice drops an octave without you even realising it, and it does things to him that can't say out loud. you wave the photographs at him.
"-taking pictures of me like a little creep? so filthy. following me around like a desperate little slut. were you hoping to be discovered?"
you didn't expect him to be as affected as he was. breath uneven from your jump scare a second ago, ears red, with some of redness bleeding into his face, still affixed in the position you pinned him in. your leg shifts between his legs and his boner brushes against your thigh. what a surprise. he likes this. he looks away from you, but you turn his face to you with your forefinger, him gulping at the action. adorable.
"you really are an attention whore aren't you? following me around like that? clicking pictures of me? bothering me and hoping I'll take notice? pathetic." you tsk at him, he looks on the verge of tears but his boner says a different story, you experimentally press you leg over it, recieving a small whimper in return. yup, he's definitely enjoying this.
"you got hard just by me yelling and shoving you huh?"
he's torn, his brain sending him mixed signals, he's embarrassed, he wants to go back to his dorm and hide and never show his face to the world ever again. but he likes this, part of him wants you to humiliate him more, maybe do things to him that he won't be able to forget. and a part of him is even more embarrassed at the route his thoughts are taking.
you're not thinking straight. he's hot, you shouldn't be doing this, but some predatory instinct inside you wants to. you use him as a catalyst to get your mind off of whatever has been bothering you. it probably shouldn't be a big deal, he wants this anyway.
"tell me hyunjin, do you really think i don't notice? you think i didn't notice you staring at me when I was with Lin and her cat? do you really think i didn't see you when I had to drive that asshole away from her? you think i don't notice how you sneak into sociology and watch me from the corner? i do. how will you explain all that huh?"
fuck. he didn't think you noticed. he really has no explanation. he's fucked. you could report him, or worse, out him infront of everyone, you even have the photos with you. he should have thought this through. he's done for. he's pretty sure you're gonna report him-
"i'm sorry! please don't-"
"make up for it."
"w-what?" he's pulled out of his trance.
"well, since you've behaved like a pathetic slut, make up for it by actually being one. maybe then i'll forgive you"
he gulps, he would do it without second thought but he doesn't know if you're kidding or mocking him. he even has no idea how to say it, so he just sighs and nods.
"that's what i thought. follow me."
he follows you on shaky legs as you lead him outside of campus, and the next thing he knows, he's being pinned to the door of your apartment while you unbuckle his belt and whip it out of it's place. he has no idea what to expect when you detach yourself from him and seat yourself on the couch.
"come here." you order and he follows, walking over to you.
"strip." you say, he feels exposed under your intense gaze, even with you sitting down on the low couch while he stands in front of you, he feels like he's on display. he can't say he doesn't like it tho. so he puts on a show for you, peeling of each piece of his outfit one by one, jacket, followed by his shirt, then his pants, all in quite sultry a manner before he stops, only his boxers on, and looks at you uncertainly.
"off." is all you need to say before he's kicking them away, his erection springing free. you look at him for a good while, soaking in details of his body, pretty neck and collarbones, lean arms and torso and such a slutty waist, further down to his painfully hard dick, red and leaking, body supported by strong and pretty thighs. and for a guy like him, he has a big dick.
he's aware of your intense stare on him, suddenly feeling very conscious of his own appearance.
you get up from your place, his belt still in one hand, the other going to his shoulder, making him shiver before it glides to his back as you make your way behind him, gripping his hips and pressing your front to his ass, as if to tease, making his breath hitch. you bring his wrist his wrists together behind his back and tie them together with his own belt.
"i'm giving you a chance to back out, i'll throw those pictures away and you can walk out like this never happened. do you wanna stop?" you whisper into his ear.
"n-no."
"good, then kneel" you smirk, pushing him down onto his knees and resuming your place on the couch.
you take a moment to admire how pretty he looks like this, kneeling infront of you with his hands tied back, breath uneven and so disheveled. so, so pretty.
as you take your pants off, his eyes fly to your covered heat, cute. you can't help but slowly press your foot down onto his dick, drawing a pained moan out of him because his dick has been neglected for so long.
you part your thighs and your eyes are enough to order him to get to work. he shifts to you and licks a long stripe on top of your wetness before you shift your panties to the side. he can't help but drool at the sight.
he starts working immediately, licking and sucking like a man on a mission. and he's on a mission indeed, a mission to prove himself somehow, because he knows this is probably the only time this is happening and he wants to make you feel as good as possible, make you remember him, because he sure as hell will never forget this. and certainly never forget the sudden moan from you as his tongue laps at your clit, noticing you're the most sensitive there. he keeps that in the back of his mind as he sticks his tongue inside of you, quite literally making out with your cunt. your hand comes down to grip at his hair, drawing a moan that vibrates straight into your core.
his tongue moves in and out of you while his button nose touches your clit with each movement, he pulls his tongue out only to attach his mouth onto your clit enveloping it in warmth and sucking on it, making you pull stronger at his hair before he resumes his work inside of you.
he's too good at this, it doesn't help that it's been a long while since you last did anything sexual.
you push him further into yourself by his hair and he moans right into you, the vibrations bringing you awfully close to your high. you release a breathy curse which motivates him to speed up.
you cum with slight spasms, chasing down the delicious feeling as your thighs close around him, burying him into you, almost suffocating him, but he keeps going nonetheless.
you yank him back by the hair to look at his cum drenched face, he finally catches his breath, making his chest heave as he looks up at you with hooded eyes. you give his face a slap, not too hard, yet he only moans at the impact.
"you like being slapped, slut?"
"y-yes" he nods as well as he can with the grip you have in his hair. you slap him again a couple of times, the redness resulting just adding to the extremely erotic look on his face.
"up." you instruct, he stumbles up onto his feet with a wince and you move to free his hands. his wrists are red, almost bruised by how hard he's pulled against the belt.
you lay back on the couch, beckoning him over.
"fuck me." you order. "if you can that is." you add after seeing the uncertainty on his face, he nods frantically.
"i c-can."
he says he can, but he melts the moment his dick enters you, he's too sensitive, having waited for so fucking long.
"feels so good. fuck." he moans into your ear at the feeling as he hovers over you. he starts to move, his length stretching you out and drawing heavy breaths out of you by the sheer size, his tip touches your g-spot without much effort, hitting it again and again as he starts moving.
his arms shake at your sides, everything becoming too overwhelming for some reason, your warmth wrapped around him, the stimulation suddenly making his head spin.
"f-fuck... " the poor boy is trembling, voice slurring as his hips move in an erratic manner, although it's taking you time to get used to him, you take the chances you get to mock him. your hand moves to wrap around his throat.
"you can't even fuck me, so pussydrunk already? i'll have to all the work myself huh?" he looks at you with glossy eyes as your fingers press down on the sides of his neck.
"please, please, please" he whimpers out, with no real context as to what he's asking for, his eyes screwing shut. his arms are barely keeping him up anymore, sweating and trembling like he'll fall.
"you're too fucked out to even use your brain huh? begging and you don't even know what for. it's okay tho, since that's all a dumb slut like you can do. i'll show you how you're supposed to make me feel."
you push him onto his back, getting a yelp in return and waste no time in grinding down onto him, resulting in a loud gasp from the boy. your hand finds it's way back to his throat. he lets go completely, hands falling to his sides and head pressing back into the cushions as he releases a string of broken moans while you ride him into oblivion.
"a-ah, fuckfuckfuck. oh god."
you laugh at his helpless sounds, suppressing your own becoming difficult.
"god isn't gonna save you here, baby."
that makes him let out a loud, almost sob like moan.
"please." he whines as his hips buck up in the slightest. you're getting closer with every passing second and it looks he is too.
"please what, sweetheart? want me to stop? because your pathetic self can't take it? or want me to fuck you dumb until you're left a babbling mess?" these words make him let out the loudest moan you've heard from a man. he really does get off on degradation.
"c-close. oh god, please. please. fuck." he's physically restraining himself from reaching out to you, hands grasping at whatever purchase he can find on anything around him.
"fuck. i'm close. you there? cum with me." you breathe out to him and he cums with a broken sob, his high hitting him like a train as his breath falters and his back arches beautifully, you keep moving throughout, riding out your own orgasm which hits in sweet waves, you keep going for a while after, just to overstimulate the boy a little, getting small, pained whimpers from him.
"c-can i touch you? please?" he asks, still in his post orgasm haze, his voice so adorably small that it makes you give in.
"go ahead." you say, expecting him to touch you tits or ass, but you didn't expect him to pull you body down to lay on top of him as you both catch your breath from your orgasms. he was holding on tight, like he'll fall if he let go. that little action did something to your heart but you pushed it back, not wanting to ruin the moment.
you originally planned to fuck him and kick him out, getting rid of those pictures anyway, but you think you don't mind if he stays for a while, you let him cling to you for a few minutes before the stickiness and stench of sex gets to you.
"hey, hyunjin? let's clean up hmm?" he makes a small noise but unwraps his arms anyway, but winces with you when you get off of his dick.
you pay no attention to his cum dripping out as you get yourself and him towels to clean up and put on some clothes.
he lets you drag him to the kitchen and accepts the water you give him, you're busy observing his features when his small voice snaps you out.
"i'm sorry." why is he apologizing? you find him looking down on the floor.
turns out he's sorry for clicking those pictures without your consent, it takes a while to convince him that you actually saw him taking those, just chose not to protest. well since you noticed him in places he didn't think you would, this didn't surprise him either.
you send him off with a warning not to die on the streets in a car accident.
fuck, you really need to get him out of your brain.
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he's gone and you suddenly remember you need to clean your apartment before Lin comes over, you rush to find a way to get rid of the very obvious smell of sex in your living room, while you clean your brain goes on autopilot with it's thoughts.
so he's clingy after sex-
wait, what?
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welldonekhushi · 1 day
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Womp womp. “Positive place” “no hate” my ass. If we looked into your past we’d see a different story. 
You likely don’t care to address it but you gravely hurt one of my dearest friends. I doubt you realise anything you did, before or after they broke it off. And with reason. You took so much interest in everyone’s characters and stories but theirs, instead devaluing their opinions, spamming their inbox with shit they didn’t ask for without bothering to send them even one question or prompt in return. 
I want to laugh that only after he cut you off did you start asking others even a bit more about their projects. Only after it was too late did you bother to make a change. It’s pathetic, really, that you must have been trying so hard to cover up your true habits, that falling into your blatant disinterest in him. He’s better off without you. 
Speaking of your covering shit up, don’t think your queerphobia has been forgotten. Don’t think he and I didn’t see you delete a reply saying your OC “wouldn’t really get along” with his, when meanwhile your stoic, guarded military man is out there making friends with literally everyone else. The difference being everyone else who isn’t openly gay. Don’t think we’ve forgotten when your muse cried and tried to guilt-trip my friend’s when the latter came out to her. 
You prop up Scarlet as a friendly-to-all but Strong™ Female Character but I know she’s not. She’s a homophobic, insensitive, spineless little bitch - sounds like someone, doesn’t it? 
Who I am doesn’t matter. What matters is that there’s a third party who knows the truth. You’re fucking horrible. You might have other friends now but I hope one day all this comes to light, no matter how much you might have tried to change. Whether or not this letter ends up posted, I want you to read it once, twice, three times over. They say to forgive and forget but some of us never forgive and always remember. There is someone out there haunted by what you did to them and you can’t keep running from it.
Okay, anon. After reading your message, I would first like to mention that I don't know who you are, or the friend that you're talking about. So let's put the points together of what you said that you and the "he" you're mentioning feel.
First, you said that I'm queerphobic because I said that my OC wouldn't get along with your friend's OC because their character was "openly gay". It's the same meaning as saying "You hate me because I belong here." by directly coming to a conclusion, instead of not understanding the mindset they belong to or their indulgence in something that could be disagreeable to others. I don’t know who or which OC you’re mentioning, but If I said my OC would not get along with them, it doesn't mean I directly hate their OC (whoever they are). This doesn't make sense when I never disrespected or showed hatred towards anyone who presents their OC as queer. I have friends here who have queer ships with their OCs and canon characters and I support them fully by heart. I even had their OCs interact with them.
Second, you proceeded by saying that I never bothered to send your friend an ask, a question or a prompt. Can I be honest, anon? I have a life. I've always been busy with my uni and now I have finals on my head. I can’t even find time to draw, academic pressure is already stressing me out, and I don't even have inspo at times to be here and publish stuff here. If I happened to miss out on your friend (whoever they are), then I'll say sorry. Because it feels that they were only relying on ME to send them the prompts and asks, and not “the shit which they asked for” as you nicely mentioned. It seemed to me that they (whoever they are) don't really see the rest but me and me only, right? I'm sorry, I think their 'friend' got so busy that they tend to forget that the friend they have has a life out there, too.
Third, you proceeded to call my OC Scarlet a “spineless little bitch, homophobic, and insensitive". Huh. Seems like while proving your point, you thought to add some more spice to your heartfelt thoughts by shitting on my OC as well. You thought you cooked anon, but turns out your dish got rejected. Sorry, you are eliminated from the MasterChef Competition. (Talking about ‘spineless’ while hiding behind anon. The irony.)
Fourth, you thought I guilt-tripped your friend when they came out. Huh. I don't remember a day when I insulted or ridiculed someone for coming out when originally I'd be happy that they finally had the courage to represent themselves for who they are. If you're saying I guilt-tripped them, be a good anon, reveal yourself in the public to me and give me proof. If you're confident enough, then do it. I'll have no hesitation. I'll admit it was my fault. But show yourself first. It "doesn't matter who I am" but it does, because even if you're a person typing that, you're just an anon with no personality to me. No appearance. Nothing. Just blank. I explained who you are. Hope you're happy with that.
Fifth, you said that some forgive and forget, but some don't forgive and remember. Honestly, I understand how disturbed and angry you feel inside because of me, anon. Well, even if you say that I acted like that with your friend (whoever they are), so, here's the third time I'm saying this. If it makes you feel better. I am sorry. Instead, I feel pity that you might be feeling so frustrated because of my presence. If you don't want to forgive me, I'm okay with it. You have a right to do so.
In the end, sorry for you and for your friend. But I hope one day, you'll learn too that to 'forgive and forget', means to move on, letting go of the people who hurt you so you'd be happy as well. If I hurt you and your friend, you can block me, and move on. Be happy without me. I understand I wasn't a good friend to them, I don't refute you at all. Besides, you have every right to be angry. I'll not even say that you're all at fault here. I made a mistake? I'd fully admit it. But you accusing me for what I did while hiding behind anon is… unsettling for me. I don't know what else to say.
You thought you were making me scared and afraid by saying “Read it once, twice, three times over”, but no, you’re completely dismissed out of my mind when you come at me out of nowhere, attacking me with baseless accusations, and insults me and my OC. You’re just another hate anon to me. “You’re a horrible person.” Look in the mirror. I’m not the one sending someone a whole essay of a hate anon.
Have a good day anyway, anon.
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tomumess · 24 hours
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Shigaraki Stalker HC's
oh no! it seems you've forgotten to take your meds, because the thumping on the glass came back. little did you know, it was Tomura's arm twitching against the window frame, trying to soothe the aching in his pants, the sight of your soft body in those cute pyjamas making his cock twitch uncontrollably. now it makes sense why your socks were always sticky after walking on the balcony...
don't worry if you're walking home at night, because you're never truly alone! Tomura always keeps a safe distance, occasionally making noises to startle you, relishing in your pathetic display of fear. it's not his fault you get scared easily, and that every shiver in your body makes his hands tremble, nails scraping against his neck in an attempt to soothe the urge to just take you right there.
you've noticed some clothing going missing before washing it, and some of them somehow reappearing a few days later. there's nothing more satisfying than licking the wet spots your pretty pussy left. Tomura's chin was covered with a mix of your juices and drool, inhaling the scent of your used panties.
when his impulses got too bad, he would mess with your pills, making you sink into a deep slumber. his hands already explored everything you had to offer, his phone full of photos of you in various states of undress in the most compromising positions.
he couldn't bring himself to fuck you just yet, wanting to save it for the right moment. that didn't stop him from rubbing one out and cumming all over your face, his fingers spreading it around, and licking it off of you.
Tomura would bury his face between your legs, rutting into the bed as he inhaled your scent, burning it into his memory. he accidentally left a few hickies here and there, he couldn't resist biting your soft breasts, the feeling making his body shudder.
after getting his dose of your body, he'd cuddle up to your unconscious form, whispering sweet nothings and how he would protect you, which quickly turns into aggressive threats, saying how he'll rip you apart if you ever betray him. it doesn't matter if you had no idea who he was, he was going to make sure he was all you're ever going to think about, to make you experience all the nauseating feelings he harbored because of you.
he would use your shirt as a pillowcase, crying into it from frustration and desperate need to have you. he would return it after your scent disappeared, but he kept a few bras and panties as memento.
his degeneracy knows no bounds, he had no shame in rummaging through the your trash, eating the leftover food, licking the used napkins, reading any papers you discarded.
say goodbye to any social media presence, because you'll often find your posts getting deleted, accounts banned for no reason. Tomura was not going to let anyone else get even a glimpse you, a sight that should be rightfully belongs to him.
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doll3tt33 · 13 hours
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Unnecessarily lengthy ramble abt losing interest and moving on with a new acc + last few bot/fic ideas I might post (feel free to ignore idkidk)
I’ve been having a hectic week regarding academic stuff so I have the worst brain fog rn, and I have a feeling I should unwind a couple more days before writing this but I honestly don’t care atp 😭😭
Basically, as you can see with the title, I’m losing interest in AHS, evan peters, his characters - all that. Besides Colin Zabel (he’s still my husband fr), creating content for everything else feels like a real chore now, whilst back then it was truly enjoyable and exciting.
Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and making bots, like this stuff is basically for life lol. But nowadays, it feels like I’m simply utilizing the evans as tools to write out the tropes I enjoy, rather than actually experiencing a desire to write FOR the characters like I used to ((which still can be gratifying in its own respective way… until a certain motivating factor begins to lack, if that makes sense??
It really sucks cuz I chalked it up to me being burned out, when in reality my attraction was clearly just plummeting as we speak 😔. What’s worse is that I’m really comfortable in this fandom - like I have super cool moots here, there’s no drama, there’s a bunch of evan characters for everybody 😂, and I gained over 500 followers, which is still crazy to me! I tried to “prolong” my interest for the sake of all this progress, but I think the inevitable has arrived and I can no longer keep up, my resolve is crumbling y’all 😭😭😭
I was hoping to wait until the Tron movie comes out in 2025, cuz maybe seeing Evan in there would reignite some of ✨la passion✨ within me, however I don’t feel like hanging around anymore, since I no longer relate to the fandom. I feel so out of place now, like a fRaUD 😩 ((I’ll still most likely watch it, but until then we’ll see
And to clarify, I will most likely NOT post and interact as frequently as I used to anymore. I’m not deleting this account, though I am going to make a new account to post The Boys content, as I want a fresh clean slate to start new.
Before I do go, I might drop a bot or two, maybe even a fic in the near future since they’re halfway done and I did NOT use all that effort for nothing 😭💀:
- corrupt cop!Colin Zabel ((most likely will make this next…. For personal reasons 😳
- a standard pre-cult Kai bot ((not brown hair pre-cult Kai, the recently dyed blue hair one iykwim. sorry
- as for fics, I’ll most likely post a very short smut when Kyle goes down on reader, cuz why not 😏
- might finish the older!grumpy neighbor!kit I talked about before since I’m halfway done
- not sure about this but I have a really random JPM fic where reader (accidentally but also not so accidentally) killed their spouse and they have no one to call but him for help ((heavily based off the tv show Fargo, the first season
No promises tho! I might occasionally come back to post if some random ideas for the evans come up, and ofc for Colin cuz he’s still the loml, no debate <3
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lanshappycorner · 10 months
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guys im about to do smth a lil crazy im going to translate an entire jp drama cd bc i cant do this anymore
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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bossladytae · 2 months
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~
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srkgirlblogger · 3 months
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#the day was going so well until my mom decided to be mean to me for no reason in a piblic space where i was already feeling scared and over#stimulated. i wanted to try out the skateboards in decathlon but there were too many people and i got scared. and my mom suddenly said that#the skateboard that she was going to buy for me after/on my birthday. she had decided to buy now. since we were alr in theshop and i said no#way bec i hadnt decided which one i wanted yet and i was soo panicked. and then after some time when id calmed down a bit and was gonna try#to skate anyways she started questioning me abt when i planned on peacticing and where i was gonna do it and i obviously just started saying#things that i thought she would approve of. and then she told me i didnt have the time management skills or resolve to make it work. and she#just kept on passive aggressively bullying me until i just couldnt do it anymore and i told her i wanted go leave the store bc she was#spoiling the mood. and then she started bullying me louder and she told me to stop blaming her bc she was only asking me a question and she#didn't want to waste any more money on things that i wasnt gonna do even though ive wanted a skateboard for years now and have been actively#asking her for months. and i just lost my emergy and my appetite and i wanted to leave the mall and go home but insteaf she gook us to a#bagel place that ive been trying to get her to take us even though i felt like throwing up before we even left the mall and i told her i#didnt want to go there. and my brother even told her that she was ruining things for everyone. and he still ended up blaming me in the end.#but whatever. i kept getting flashbacks to insanely traumatic moments where shed yelled at or bullied me or cornered me or tried to#embarass me in public. and this is most likely my last year at home. and my last year of childhood. and its all going to be remembered in my#brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going#to be just as shitty as every other year and ill just have to deal with that and try to build something good and new and kind when i leave#she shouldnt speak to her own children like this. she shouldnt be looking for reasons to make things miserable for me all the time like this#i should study. my head hurts. my entire body hurts so bad#delete later
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pepprs · 11 months
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today is the last day of one of the hardest and heaviest years of my life (i.e. my first year in this job) and also the last day of me being contractual / contingent (i.e. not a permanent employee which has been fine but also fucked me up just in the wording of it). i don’t think the horrors will relent just yet but i hope so sincerely that they ease soon and that this next year will be kinder and less turbulent and that i will be stronger for what i experienced this year
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stinkrascal · 1 year
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im always scared whenever i delete my tzrs bc im afraid im gonna accidentally delete the original post and then i will have to die
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maddy-ferguson · 10 months
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i think it's actually a good thing that babylon was only watched by ten people (i count for seven because that's how many times i've seen it) because there's endless discourse to be had and it would've been very annoying
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lethbians · 1 year
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had a bad dream and now im in a bad mood. hate how that accidental cranial self-sabotage works
#had this dream where it was like 10 years in the future#and i had become a recluse and never went on social media#but memo and i still talked and we had by this time written like 50 aus together#and one day they stopped responding in chat for weeks and i was so worried#that i went and registered for a new facebook account and looked them up#and for some reason found that there were like a million fan pages for them#turns out theyd been spending the whole 10 years getting famous off our au content#like posting art from it and even writing bits#and as i scrolled down i found like exact jokes or whatever id made too#and there was never any mention of me like… memo had built this empire from Our work#and back when we were dating that was one of the things that pissed me off the most#like their refusal to acknowledge me in general but specifically like#posting either My Literal Joke (they eventually gave me credit but atp i didnt want it i was mad it happened at all)#or like art that only existed bc of our aus and sometimes even art where eddie was wearing an outfit i picked out#and theyd pretend like i just straight up didnt exist in relation to it#and i remember trying to talk to them abt it and said literally even just mentioning its from an au w a friend u dont have to even tag me#just stop pretending like i dont exist ykwim#anyway they were doing that but got EXTREMELY famous like#millions of followers. unrealistic amnts like the kind only billionaires who buy them get#and they were rolling in money. and when i dmd them about it and commented on the fb posts they got deleted n i was blocked#and when i went to our messaging app (it was like discord but not? it was like a mix of discord and google docs)#i found theyd blocked me and deleted our server#the dream changed after that and i was like in my college editing lab but#PISSED ME OFF AND NOW IM IN A BAD MOOD and i HATE when stupid ass dreams make me angry like#bro its a fucking dream 😭😭😭 grow up 😭😭😭#im blaming my lack of sleep. whtv.#i think the thing that makes me so angry is that while this dream wld never happen#well i mean memo will likely be a famous artist but not like this#WHILE this dream would never happen i bet u a million dollars if i redownloaded twitter n went to their page id find a bunch of art#from our aus that do not mention the fact theyre from aus with me LOL
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sketchbarok · 1 year
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Day 84 + Day 85
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wavesmp3 · 1 year
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am attempting to write something again! so far we have: 
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and ... ! : 
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thank-god-and-you · 1 year
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#okay so idk where to talk about this cos I feel attention seeking for some reason if I tell people irl so I’m just gonna dump it here lmao#few days ago had genuinely the most fucking scariest experience of my life I was sitting at a taxi stand waiting for my dad to pick me up#it’s like almost pitch black around 8.30-9pm for some reason and this guy comes out of his car shouting at the driver and threw a bag down#I just kept my head down didn’t look up cos um ok man with anger issues I guess#he sits next to me and after a while I hear hi repeatedly and I realise he’s talking to me and I thought oh maybe he needs directions so#I look up and he starts asking personal questions and shit and asking for my number and I just become paralysed from fear idk#I answer all his questions idk why I was just really scared he’d get angry and there was no one around and when he asked for my number I#told him oh parents said I cant give out numbers to strangers and also I’m pretty young and I tell him I’m 15 hoping it’d deter him#and he just tells me he’s 20 and continues asking and saying he just wants to be friends and at that point I was really really#fuck idk I was just really scared and no one was around us and it’s pitch black and it’s so stupid I was trembling a bit but thank god my#dad came and I just dashed to the car I fuck it’s so stupid he didn’t do anything but shit#and now it’s dumb I’m scared to go back to that station like I know he won’t be there but fuck that was actually the worst experience of my#life I should’ve gotten up and walked away but idk why I froze up#delete later
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