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dreamwritesimagines · 5 years

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Don’t You Love Me? 25- Coming Back [Steve Rogers x Reader]

A.N.: Final chapter! <3 Thank you so much for your amazing support guys, love you!<3 (Due to the linking issue, you can get the earlier chapters on my masterlist! 😀 )

Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton

Warnings: Drinking, mentions of addiction, self destructive behavior, cussing, explicit language. Read with care please.

Summary: Recovery takes time.

Word Count: 3143

The beautiful moodboard is made by fictionwillneverdie

Gif’s not mine!

Waking up in the hospital after practically exploding a chip in your heart wasn’t as fun as you thought it would be. In all honesty, you had a feeling Steve hadn’t found it fun either, judging by the fact that he had yelled at you for almost half an hour, about how reckless you had been-

And contrary to popular belief, getting yelled at by Steve because you had been reckless didn’t take away the irony of the situation, as Bucky had told him before dragging him out of the hospital room.

Also, it seemed as if the team had made this deal to yell at you in turns, because as soon as Steve was pulled out of the room, Pepper had walked in;

“I’m going to ask your doctor when you can leave this place, so that I’ll know when to smack you in the head.”

“Good thinking, can you tell them to change the jello as well? I don’t like strawberry.”

By the time you were ready to leave the hospital, you had already made your decision and came up with this huge speech but of course, it wasn’t extremely helpful with Steve. You had told him how he couldn’t see you while you were in rehab, and as expected, he had reacted very badly.

“You can’t be there alone!”

“You were the one who found the place Capcake, you know people aren’t alone in there.”

“Y/N, you just got better-“

“Yeah, it’s either now or never. I already talked to Fury-“

“But I can visit, right?”

“No.”

“Doll-“

“There’s no fucking way you’re seeing me like that, Steve.”

So that meant ninety days without seeing Steve, or anyone on the team. You had to admit, you never thought they’d actually respect your wishes and not show up, but for all you knew, Tony could’ve built a habit of hacking cameras so maybe they had seen you without your knowledge.

You drummed your fingernails on the small coffee table, clicking your tongue before you heard someone pulling the seat across the table, and you looked up to see Jake.

“Holy shit,” he said as he gawked at you, “You’re sober.”

“Yeah man, I’m as shocked as you are.”

Jake covered his mouth, still blinking dumbly, then lowered his hand, “That’s why you have been MIA for the last months?”

“Three months, yeah.”

“How-?”

“Oh long story,” You shook your head, “Um… My ex kidnapped me, basically made me an addict again, then I had uh… I had a heart attack-“

“What?”

“Yeah and I saw the light- of the operation room, and um… then yeah- then rehab. I have been planning it for a while but near death experience sort of… speeds stuff up, who knew?”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Exactly. That’s why I’ve been away, not because of being a dickhead,” you thought for a moment, “Well half of it. Half of it was still because of me being a dickhead.”

“And I’m guessing that’s the introduction to a speech. Strong start.”

You stifled a laugh, “Straight to it, huh?”

“I’m familiar with stages of recovery, comes with the job.”

“So I don’t need a speech at all then, you got the idea. Good talk.”

He shot you a look, “Y/N. Come on. You spent three months in rehab, start the amends speech.”

“Fuck’s sake- okay,” You cleared your throat, “I um… I put you in danger, even if you didn’t know about it.”

“How?”

“My asshole of an ex, he apparently-“ You pressed your lips together, “He hurt the people I slept with. You got lucky, some of them- not so much.” You mumbled, “I didn’t know though, I swear to you.”

Jake nodded slowly, “When did you leave rehab?”

“Uh- today.”

He gawked at you “I’m sorry?”

You nodded, “You’re the first person I spoke to, I actually-“ You motioned at your duffel bag, “I haven’t had a chance to drop by my apartment yet.”

Jake smiled at the waiter when he approached you and ordered a coffee, while you sipped on your water.

“And you and the national hero?”

You shrugged slightly, “That’s some complicated shit.”

“I still have an hour until my shift.”

You huffed out a breath, looking up at the sky before you cleared your throat,

“I told him he could…do whatever in these three months.” You muttered, “See other people and everything. And if he still- if he still wanted me by the time I left rehab, we’d be together.”

“And?”

“I haven’t seen him yet.”

Jake licked his lips, “Scared of finding him with someone?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” You nodded, “I have this image of him and a chick with a pink frilly skirt from fifties which makes no sense because he was frozen during fifties.”

“You could totally pull off a frilly skirt.”

“You shut your mouth.” You told him, making him chuckle as the waiter brought his coffee.

“No, I-“ Jake eyed you up and down, “Have you checked a mirror since you left rehab?”

“No man, I came here without seeing my reflection because it’s important to avoid self-conceit, what the fuck-“

“No, Y/N-“ Jake chuckled, “You look really different. In a good way.”

You bit down on your lip, trying to control your smile and sipped your water again, while Jake thought for a moment.

“But hey, if you want to shop for a pink frilly skirt, I’m game.”

“Screw you too.”

“No I’m serious, I could give some guy perspective on the matter-“

“Oh I’m so gonna hack you.”

You had to admit, maybe Jake was right. Seeing your reflection in the mirror and just how much it had changed kept surprising you, but seeing yourself sober and actually pulled together was definitely a shock you wouldn’t shake off anytime soon.

The dark shadows under your eyes were gone, for starters. Your skin looked much better, and that sickly feeling that tended to show on your face was also gone. Your eyes weren’t red-rimmed anymore, instead you actually looked-

Healthy.

“Well I’ll be damned,” You muttered as you put down the lipstick, and fixed your hair. You felt like a girl on her prom night, only your prom date wasn’t aware that you were back from rehab and could have moved on in these three months-

You shook your head, trying to get rid of the thoughts and left the bathroom, and looked around the apartment. Even if you dreaded seeing the bottles, you knew you had to clean your your fridge eventually, so you figured you could take out the trash on the way out and walked to the fridge then opened it, but then froze.

In the fridge, there were multiple bottles of water instead of booze, and there was a note stuck on one of them. You slowly reached out to take the bottle, your eyes skimming the lines.

Natasha has your keys, she let me borrow them.

Steve.

You could barely feel the tears filling your eyes as you smiled, he had come to clear it for you, while you were away.

For when you’d come back.

Oh God, you were in so much trouble….

You grabbed another bottle before you closed the fridge, then grabbed your backpack and made your way out of the apartment. You got into the first cab that you could find, gave him the address, then bit on your nails, looking out the window.

“And listen, now that we’re talking about it, I don’t want you to feel obliged.”

Steve looked up, frowning deeply “Obliged?”

“Yeah, to wait for me. Even I don’t know how long I’ll be staying in rehab-“

“Y/N-“

“So if someone….like, catches your attention, or your dick’s attention-“

“Y/N.”

“No, I’m not trapping you, okay?”

He gawked at you, “Trapping me?”

“Steve, if you like someone else while I’m gone, go for it-”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“No, I-“ You closed your eyes, and took a deep breath, “I might be gone for a long time, and it could… it could lead to you realizing things. If you find somebody, I don’t want you to force yourself to wait for me.”

His blue eyes narrowed before he shot you a stubborn look.

“But I am waiting, Y/N. No matter how long it takes.”

Maybe he had done exactly what he said he would.

Or maybe you’d just find him with a girl with frilly skirt.

“Jesus, what is it with me and skirts?” You mumbled before the driver pulled over in front of Steve’s building. You took a deep breath, then paid the driver before you pushed open your car door and stepped outside.

His light was on.

You half wished you had brought a boombox but you were sure he wouldn’t get the joke, so you quickly climbed the stairs, walking past Sharon’s door and stopped at his. Your heart was beating in your throat, but you gripped the strap of your backpack with one hand and knocked on the door with the other.

“Please don’t let there be a chick unless she’s up for a threesome, please don’t let there be a chick unless she’s up for a-“ Your prayer was cut off when the door opened, and you looked up at him.

“Holy shit, you grew a beard?”

He stared at you, as if he couldn’t believe you were actually there, and you cleared your throat, trying to distract yourself from how handsome he was.

“So I would’ve brought wine and condoms but um… you know, the sober thing, so we have water bottles. And- and condoms- am I allowed to joke about alcohol now?” You wondered out loud, “So um… yeah. I’m back. Hi. Nice beard- Jesus Christ Steve, I prepared a speech but my ovaries are screaming right now, that’s a dick move.”

He looked almost frozen, and you shifted your weight.

“Anyway I… okay, here we go, are you ready? So apparently you have lots of time to think in- in rehab, who knew right? And to be honest, somehow all my thoughts kept going to you, and I know I said you could go for it if you found someone but I- I hope you didn’t find someone, because I- I love you.” You paused “Holy fuck, I actually said that. I- I mean apparently I love your beard more, but you know, you can live with-” You were cut off when he pulled you closer to kiss you deeply, making you breathless and you almost stumbled when he pulled back, holding onto his arms.

“Welcome back,” Steve said, making you smile, then pulled you into the apartment and closed the door.

You felt like you could actually spend the eternity there, in Steve’s bed, just like that. He dragged his fingertips over your naked back while you rested your head on his chest, deep in thought as the morning light shone into the room.

Peace.

It was actually peaceful.

“How do you feel?” he mumbled to your hair and you looked up at him, heaving a deep sigh.

“Played.”

“What?”

“Sober sex is better than drunk sex, who knew?”

Steve chuckled, “I meant overall, Y/N.”

You took a deep breath, and shifted slightly in his embrace, “The first couple of weeks were bad but then- I’m better now.”

“But do you miss it?”

“Booze?” You shrugged, “One of the things they teach you is that it’s not- it’s not like flu, you know? It doesn’t go away like that, sometimes it takes years, but you have to fight through it.”

Steve nodded slowly, nuzzling to your hair, “I missed you,” he mumbled and you smiled softly,

“So I take it you haven’t been seeing anyone.”

“I told you I wouldn’t, Y/N.”

You swallowed thickly, and tried to play it cool, “Yeah good. I mean there was this really hot doctor back at rehab-“

“Wait, what?”

“But I was never the one for the naughty doctor fantasy- I’m joking!” You let out a laugh, “Oh God Steve, your face…”

“What, I didn’t see you for three months now.” He mumbled, looking down at you, “So what now?”

You took a deep breath, and rolled onto your back before you sat up, pulling your knees up to your chest,

“I’ll go and see Fury, he promised I could go back to my job when I came back.”

“Don’t you think it’ll be a little too much?”

You shook your head, “I can handle it. Besides, I need to keep busy, you know? That’s really important in the whole… after rehab thing.”

“I read that people need stability too,” Steve nodded and you pulled your brows together,

“Wait, you read about rehab?”

“Yeah and- I think we should both go on runs, they say exercise helps.”

“Steve, what-?”

“And I read this website that says learning new things can also help, so I’ll teach you how to draw. It could get your mind off….that.”

You gawked at him,

“You actually made research?”

“I actually have a list,” he reached out to grab a small notebook from the bedside table and handed it to you, but as soon as he did, someone knocked on the door. You took the list from him as he pressed a kiss on your forehead, then grabbed his pants and shirt to put them on before walking to the door. Your eyes skimmed the list, a smile warming your face but you turned your head as soon as you heard Bucky and Natasha’s voices.

“Jesus Christ Rogers, you missed the meeting?”

“Why aren’t you answering your phone, punk?”

“I was uh-“ Steve cleared his throat, “Busy.”

There was a couple of seconds of silence, before you heard Natasha’s voice.

“Whose shirt is that?”

“Hm?”

“The shirt I’m seeing, thrown on the couch. Whose shirt is that?”

Oh shit.

“Steve, I’m going to kick your ass!” Bucky snapped at him, “Y/N is in rehab, and what- you have a girl here?!”

Scratch that, this was gonna be fun.

“What? Buck-“

“I can’t believe you’d do that!”

You laughed to yourself before you grabbed Steve’s shirt to put it on, then silently opened the door.

“After everything she’s been through-“

“Yeah Rogers, what gives?”

“Yeah Rogers, dick move.” You said as you approached the living room, crossing your arms and leaning sideways to the doorframe, “Hi guys.”

Bucky and Natasha fell silent almost immediately before Natasha snapped out of it and rushed to pull you into a hug. You hugged her back tight, then grinned at Bucky as soon as Natasha pulled back,

“Nice to see you guys took over the mission of giving him a hard time while I was gone,” You winked at Natasha and Bucky punched Steve’s arm gently,

“Why didn’t you tell us she was back?”

“I was going to, but…”

“They were occupied, Barnes.”

“Yeah man, catching up,” you wiggled your brows while Steve rubbed the back of his neck, looking elsewhere, “Anyway, none of you dickheads thought of letting me know he was growing a beard? I would’ve escaped from rehab.”

“Exactly why we didn’t tell you.”

“Come on Y/N, tell him he looks like a caveman. I was waiting for you to come back so that you could tell him-”

You shook your head, “No way man, the beard stays.”

“See? She likes it.” Steve shot Bucky a proud look and you turned to Natasha.

“How’s everything at SHIELD? Do I still have a job?”

Natasha scoffed, “Fury fired about ten different people in the last three months. I’d say he’s looking forward to seeing you. That being said-” she turned to Steve, “Everyone is in the tower, including Fury, and we need you there. And her.”

You and Steve exchanged glances and you clicked your tongue, then shrugged,

“Great. I’m gonna go and get dressed then.”

“Pepper, you know this sober thing doesn’t change the fact that I need to breathe, right?”

Pepper let out a shaky breath as you patted her back and she pulled back to let you breathe.

“I was so worried, Y/N.”

“Yeah, you made my life a living hell and you weren’t even here,” Tony stated before he pulled you into a hug, making you smile and hug him back.

“You should be used to that by now.” You said as he pulled back, “So, what’s happening?”

Tony stole a glance at Steve over your shoulder,

“It’s about Trent.”

Steve took in a breath, “Tony,”

“I know-“

“No, stop,” You motioned between them, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat, “What about him?”

“They’re putting him on a trial.”

“And?”

“They need evidence.”

“I sent all of you the evidence. All those files-“

“He has some really powerful lawyers so they want a…” Tony cleared his throat, “Why am I always the one who’s giving you guys the bad news?”

“What do they want?”

Tony heaved a sigh “A witness.”

“Tony, she just came back.”

“Listen, I’m not enjoying this more than you do-“

“No, no it’s okay.” You tried to laugh, “If anything, it’s great. One last middle finger and then I can help taking down HYDRA, like-“ you pumped a fist in the air, “Like I know it’s my destiny.”

“Easy there, Hacker Potter.”

“I was actually going for Pokemon, but that also works.” You said, “Hey, uh… ehm, Capslock, can I borrow you for a moment?”

Steve’s head shot up at the safe word, then even if he still wanted to argue, he nodded, “After you.”

You walked out of the room to make your way to the elevator, then pressed the button, and took a deep breath, Steve stealing a look at you as soon as you both walked into the elevator. Both of you were completely silent until you left the elevator and Steve pushed open the door to the roof, letting you walk out before he did. You approached the edge, then crossed your arms and turned to him.

“You know stress causes early aging right?”

Steve scoffed a laugh, “Doll…”

“You don’t want me to go up there, on that witness stand.”

“I just- I don’t want anything to trigger something, okay?”

“That’s not how sobriety works Capsy. I won’t run back to booze the moment I’m stressed, I can’t live my life like that.”

Steve heaved a sigh and you smiled slightly before wrapping your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to peck him on the lips.

“Hey,”

“Hm?”

“I can handle it.” You said, “I always do, remember? With you.”

Steve brushed your hair off your face, “Okay. Then I’ll be by your side, darling.”

“Deal.” You smiled before you kissed him again, then pulled back, and entwined your fingers with his to pull him to the door.

“Come on then Capcake. Time to bring HYDRA down.”

The End

Special thanks go to: @theskytraveler @asongofmarvelanddc @thorohdamnson @girlwhoisfearless @fictionwillneverdie @aikeji @evanstar @thatprofessionalfangirl @stargeek727 @superwolfchild-fan@marauderskeeper @whogaveuspermission @local-space-ace @marvels-mistress @part-time-patronus @vikrone @not–even-a-real–fan @bb8falcon @mamaraptor @propertyofpoeandbucky @myrabbitholetoneverland @love-for-fanfics @alyssiamarierenee @kiddikatxd @marvellousrunningbang @kimmiestrawberrykiwi @original-wintersoldier @supernaturaldean67 @sunnyshoes @wannabebeautyqueenx @justbook-s and lovely anons! Without you, I wouldn’t be able to write this, you’re amazing! <3

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