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rune-writes · 3 years

Text

Dear Zack... (I'll be here)

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

@zerith-week » Day 3: Letters

Word Count: 1916

Rating: G

Summary: What did Aerith write to Zack in the four years he was missing?

Note: this is my first time trying out this format. I hope you enjoy it :)

Chapter 3 of Of Wishes and Promises: Zerith Week 2021

Read on AO3.

Dear Zack,

How are you? It's me, Aerith. Sorry to send you a letter out of the blue. You haven't been answering your PHS lately. Tseng said you're busy, that your last assignment took you to the western continent and it'd be a while before you can return. So I figured I could send you letters instead. Mom said she used to do this with her husband when he went to the war. Isn't it nice? Exchanging letters like the old couples in stories. Tseng also offered to personally send this to you, so I'm sure you'll get this. Besides, I don't have a PHS, and I'm not going to borrow the Turks' all the time. I know they'll want something in return for letting me use their stuff. Anyway, how is work? Knowing you, you’re probably doing a great job at it, right? How is it like there? I heard you went to the mountains? Is the air as nice and fresh as they say? I hope you can take some time off between your work to enjoy the scenery. I'm sure it's beautiful. Maybe take a picture for me? I'd love to see the places you've been to. I’m fine here, by the way. So is Mom. Don’t worry about me okay and just focus on finishing your job. Take care, Zack. And stay safe.

Sincerely, Aerith

***

Dear Zack,

How are you? Are you still on the mountains? I still haven't heard back from you yet. But no pressure! I know how busy you must be! I can wait hehe. In return, I hope you don't mind me sending you all these letters. I hope they give you some sort of respite, no matter how small. The flowers bloomed especially brilliant today. I brought them around to decorate Leaf House and the community center. The elders all loved it. Are there any flowers blooming where you are, Zack? If there are, what kind? Our flower business is also gaining traction recently. More and more people come to visit our flower wagon. I have the kids to thank for that, I guess. They’ve been telling everyone that I’m on a mission to have flowers bloom all around Midgar. I hope everything is alright on your side, Zack. Stay safe.

Sincerely, Aerith

***

Dear Zack,

The Protection Squad is now well under way, and it seems it’s very well-received. Miss Livy from Leaf House (she’s the headteacher, if you don’t remember) said that since the orphanage operates thanks to everyone's donations, it’s only right for them to return the favor. So the kids have been going around patrolling the areas. Yep, that’s what they call it. They run errands and help people. They’re really turning out more and more like you. Which is a nice thing, actually. Some almost went as far as to accompany me to the playground. Because of the monsters, they said. Someone needed to protect me while you’re away. I appreciated it of course, but I couldn’t let them actually meet monsters, could I? The teachers would kill me if the children had all gone so far to a different reactor. Playing with me at the church is one thing, but going to Sector 6? I would say I could protect them—and I could, mind you—and I always take the safest road there too, but when you have six children under your care then three flying beasts come at you… I’d rather not take that chance. Anyway, enough about me. How is it going for you, Zack? It's been months since we last spoke. I hope everything’s alright there? Are you okay? Are you safe? I hope you get a lot of rest between your jobs. And meals. Some good healthy meals once in a while will do wonders. But I wonder if you can get those in the front lines. I would send you something, but… it’d probably go stale once it reaches you, I think. I pray for your safety, Zack.

Love, Aerith

***

Hi Zack,

Are you still busy? Tseng says you are. Sadly I don’t have anyone else to ask, so I guess he’s the only one I can trust. But sometimes, I wonder if he’s keeping things from me. Won’t be the first… won’t be the last either. You know, I had the most surprising guest today. Some girls visited me at the church, and from the accessories they were wearing, I think they’re your fan club. It’s funny to think you have a fan club. I’m not jealous, though! I just never thought SOLDIERs had fan clubs. I wonder if the other members have one too? That reminds me, I never asked how many of you there are, have I? It was nothing important though. They asked me if I knew you, and when I said I did, they asked what I thought of you. And if I had any messages for you. Weird, huh? It's not like I can't tell you that in person. Well, not now, maybe, but later when you come back. What's weirder is that they all looked so somber. I wonder what happened… Hey, Zack. Did something happen? I… overheard something… They were talking and I heard… It's not true, right? Tseng won't tell me anything, let alone the other Turks. They only said that you're fine. Just super busy that you barely have time to reply. And having bad reception. I can trust them, right? Please talk to me, Zack. I'll wait for you, however long it takes.

Yours, Aerith

***

Zack…

I can't stop thinking something might've happened to you. I don't know who to trust. I don't know who I can talk to. Tseng says you're fine. People say you might've gone missing. I don't even know if these letters are reaching you. Maybe Tseng's been lying to me from the start. Maybe something happened to you that day I couldn't reach you. Do you remember? That afternoon you called me all those months ago? You have no idea how happy that had made me feel. I was so afraid I'd been imposing on you when you’d been so busy at work, so when I received your call, my heart had almost burst! You told me that we could talk the next day, that I could call you if I wanted, and I did, but I couldn't reach… Zack, where are you? Tell me you're alright. Please.

***

Dear Zack,

I'm sorry for being so emotional in my last letter. I asked Tseng to give the letter back, but he said he'd already sent it to you. I'm not sure if I believe him now. I had another surprise guest today. A friend of yours. He said his name was Kunsel. Actually, he's been visiting me for a while now. Kind of regularly. Checking up on me, he said. On your behalf. That's sweet. You have such sweet friends. We talked, then took a walk outside. The weather was really nice this morning. I remember you talking about him a few times, but I didn't realize you were so close. Friends since your early SOLDIER days, he said. I'm… I'm holding onto hope, Zack. I know you're out there. Somewhere. I don't believe what they say. I don't believe what Tseng says. I only believe that you're still alive somewhere. So I'll be here. Always.

Forever yours, Aerith

***

Dear Zack,

I spotted wildflowers today. Just outside Sector 5. Funny, I never noticed them before. I never thought flowers grow anywhere outside the church, or my garden. I stared at them for so long, the people who saw me asked if I was alright. I was fine, of course. Mostly. I miss you, Zack. I wonder if this is the Planet’s way of telling me you’re alive somewhere. You know how wildflowers are, right? They’re small, but no matter how much people trample them, no matter how much the weather beats them down, they always persist. They endure, and survive, and I know that you’re going to pull through whatever ordeal you’re going through right now. I believe in you, Zack. I’m sending a pressed flower I did of one of them. They’re not much, but I hope they give you strength. I… don’t know if these are going to reach you, but I hope the Planet hears my pleas and sends my prayers to you.

Sending you all my love, Aerith

***

Dear Zack,

The sky was really bright today. I find myself looking at it more and more now. You're right. It's not as scary as I thought. I told you the reason I'm scared of it, but that's not all there is. I never did tell you about my mom, did I? Not Elmyra. My other mom. My real mom… She died when I was young, before Elmyra took me in. She died, and I saw her rise to the sky. As if it was sucking her in. I… never saw the sky growing up. You'd think that's why I fear it. But on the contrary, listening to Mom's tales about the outside world, seeing the big, open blue depicted in picture books… I couldn't help but be curious. But then Mom died, and the sky sucked her in. But I'm alright now. I think. Mostly. Because… I need to see if it'd sucked you in too. I want to know if you're still here.

Aerith

***

Dear Zack…

Lately, it feels like I’m just talking to myself here, with these letters. I don't know why I'm still writing these. They’re probably not reaching you anyway. I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Maybe it's become a habit by now. Maybe writing to you gives me some sort of solace, some sort of notion that you’re still here. That you’re not gone and I can still see you. I had a dream. You were standing at the edge of a precipice in a landscape of white. It was warm and cold. I tried calling for you, but my voice wouldn’t come out. I chased after you, but the distance between us only grew. Is it my fault, somehow? Were you not supposed to have met me? The Planet is not answering my prayers and even in my dreams, you refused to see me. I hate this. I don’t want this. You’re still out there, I know it, but my heart grows heavy with each passing day. I didn’t realize waiting was so hard. I wonder how Mom endured it, standing on that train platform all day everyday, hoping against hope that her husband would return. Give me strength, Zack. I want to see you. I want to wait for you. I want to believe you'll come back. I don’t want to lose you.

***

Zack…

Where are you?

Come home

***

Dear Zack…

I feel like I should apologize. We promised to sell the flowers under the sky together, but this morning, I braved myself to take the train to the upper plate. It was daunting, to say the least. But I know what you mean now. The sky really opens up when you don't have steel plates covering it. It's… really not scary at all. Though I'd be lying if I didn't keep my head down half of the time. But it's a step forward, right? Now I can look up at the sky even if I don't have you with me... It's really beautiful, Zack. I wish you could see it with me.

Aerith

~ END ~

#zerithweek #zerithweek2021 #aerith gainsborough #zack fair #zerith #final fantasy #final fantasy vii #ff7 #ffvii #ff7r #ff7 crisis core #fanfiction #ff fanfic #ff7 fanfic

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aliceprettystuff · 4 years

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YOU'RE MY MISSION.

Bucky's P.O.V.

- Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car. Soldier?

- Ready to comply.

I had been woken up again, I did not remember when was the last time they had unfrozen me.

- We have a new mission for you.

They gave me a folder with information about a certain Captain America.

- His real name is Steve Rogers, and he will be your target.

- Nothing I haven't done before.

- You are wrong soldier, your mission will be a little different from what you are used to, your duty will be to seduce him, according to the information we have, you have an impressive resemblance to an old friend of his, but we have discovered that the relationship they had was more than one fraternal. You will serve as a distraction so that we can complete our work with the helicarriers without problems and once we have finished you will take care of kill him.

It was certainly an unusual mission, but what did it matter? I only serve to obey and comply or else I would face awful consequences.

I nodded as a sign that I had understood the orders and after that they took me to a room for my change of image.

They only cut my hair and shaved my beard but I could see a big difference, I looked identical to that sergeant who appeared next to the Captain America in one of the pictures in his file.

The only difference was my metal arm. Somehow a feeling of familiarity came to me, but I didn't understand why.

- You are ready soldier, from now on you will respond to the name of Bucky Barnes.

☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆

I knew exactly where to find him, the Hydra agents gave me Captain America's address.

I was heading to that building in Brooklyn thinking what I was going to say to the Captain when I saw him.

I had to come up with a credible story to explain the fact that his beloved Bucky was still alive after he fell off the train 70 years ago.

I went up the stairs until I reached that man's apartment, I still didn't know what to say to him, I couldn't think of anything, I didn't know anything about the life of that sergeant or the Captain America.

How was their relationship like? What did they do? I know nothing.

I was about to knock on the door but in that moment I saw how it opens before I did.

It was him, he was standing in front of me, his face pale and full of surprise.

- It can't be true! Bucky?

- Steve.

It was all I could answer.

I was extremely nervous, I had never been nervous on a mission before, but of course this wasn't an ordinary mission.

I didn't have to say anything more when from one moment to other he had his lips against mine.

The way he kissed me, he did it with desperation, as if he had endured the desire to kiss me for a long time, but he also did it with tenderness and care, with love, as if he wanted to protect me.

I thought it would take me weeks, maybe months to get at this point, but it was enough for me to unconsciously say his name between the kisses he gave me and between sighs to ending up lying on his bed receiving caresses and kisses all over my body while he took off my clothes.

I didn't stop him, cause this was the objective of my mission, but the truth is that I didn't want him to stop, there was something in his caresses, they seemed quite familiar, as if I had felt them too many times too long ago. But among the immense sensation of pleasure I also felt guilt, that those caresses, those kisses and sweet words loaded with love were not really for me, a cold-blooded murderer, a torture machine, without feelings or regrets, and now also a thief, because I'm stealing all those "I love you" "I missed you so much" "forgive me for abandoning you" to someone else.

I am also a liar, for pretending to be someone else just so I can feel all that love that will never truly be for me.

When he discovered my metal arm I thought he would stop, he would feel disgusted and walk away, but he just got closer and started kissing him from start to finish, and then he asked me.

- What happened to you my love?

- The train.

- I'm so sorry my dear, do you think you could forgive me one day?

- I already did.

- Where have you been all these years my dear?

There it was, the question that I feared so much, I had to think something fast.

- Looking for you.

It worked, after saying that he kissed me, but it was a different kiss from the previous ones, this one was full of desire, that I could reciprocate.

His body was so beautiful, and he said the same about mine, he asked my permission for everything we did, he wanted to take care of me and make me feel safe, I allowed him of course, I wanted to feel all that love and passion that he felt for that sergeant who I pretended to be and for just a moment pretend that they were for me.

I fell in love with him, in that small and passionate moment where we shared our bodies with each other, I fell madly in love with him, his caresses, his voice, his words and nicknames full of love, his body, his everything.

I fell totally and deeply in love with him that I couldn't finish the job, I had him hugging me, his naked body against mine while he slept, I had him so at my disposal, so easy that with just a few stabs with the knife that I took from my boots I could end with all of this and pretend nothing happened.

But what then? I would go back to that frozen hell hole to have the same old nightmares again.

That place was cold, lonely and dark, but here in this bed, next to this man who kept promising me his eternal love, it's warm and safe.

Somehow all those love promises came to my mind but this time they didn't come from his mouth but from mine, not as a thought but as a memory.

A man similar to the Captain but thinner was hugging me under white sheets and I was saying sweet words to him while kissing him.

Suddenly a wave of memories flooded my mind.

I started crying, I had remembered, maybe not all of my old life but the most important parts of it, and those important things, were moments shared with Steve.

My crying caused Steve to wake up, he woke up scared, he looked at me with fear and concern, of course, I hadn't dropped the knife in all this time because of all the memories that came to my mind and that completely petrified me.

- Bucky, honey what's wrong?

- Steve I'm sorry.

- What are you sorry my love?

- I lied to you.

- What did you lie to me about Bucky?

- In everything!

- How in everything? Bucky please calm down, breathe.

- I can't calm down! Not after everything I did and what I planned to do.

- You planned to kill me, weren't you?

- Steve.

- That's why you had that knife in your hand.

- Steve.

- Why Bucky?

- It is not true that I've spent all these years looking for you, I've spent all these years doing horrible things to innocent people against my will, I stopped being the Bucky you knew, with whom you thought you'd made love a moment ago, He died and in his place is this shattered, broken and horrible part of him that he can't even remember at least how it felt to be that Bucky.

- Bucky, where have you been all these years?

- I can't tell you.

- Bucky!

- I can't Steve! It is too dangerous.

- Are you forgetting that you are talking to Captain America?

- No, I'm talking to the man I fell in love with many years ago and today again, with the man who was able to give me back a bit of my old life after decades of having completely forgotten it, the only one who is able to accommodate all of my broken pieces with a simple I love you, and I don't want to lose him.

- Bucky, what you just said shows you are wrong, the Bucky I love is still alive, maybe not totally but look at me, I'm not the same Steve from 70 years ago. We both changed my love, we lost each other and suffered, we both went through so many things but in the end we met again, that is a sign that our love is stronger than any obstacle that life puts in front of us.

- But if you go to that place and face those people who have done everything to keep us away from each other, I fear that I will lose you again and this time definitely, I could not stand it again.

- You will never lose me again Bucky I promise, we will finish with whatever we have to face together. Do you remember that promise you made to me after my mother's funeral? You promised me that you would be with me till the end of the line, and now I am the one who makes that promise to you, I'm with you till the end of the line Bucky.

Remember it? Of course I remembered it, our vows, We said them when we confessed, the first time we kissed, the first time we made love, in the countless asthma attacks, the winter nights with those infernal fevers that made me believe that I would lose him, and in our last night together when we promised that when that damn war was over we would return to our beloved Brooklyn that saw us and our love grow but now as what we always want to be, husbands.

I couldn't resist anymore, I kissed him, I had waited 70 years to be able to taste those lips so soft, sweet and warm, and this time I did it as who I really was, James Buchanan Barnes.

- Steve.

- Yes Bucky?

- I know I don't deserve it but, could you promise me that after I tell you everything, where I was these years and everything I did, you will still love me?

- I could never stop loving you Bucky, it's as if I stopped breathing, our love is what keeps me alive. 3 years ago I woke up after being frozen in ice for 70 years, but until this moment that I have you by my side again I can say that I am finally alive again.

- And do you think that you could forgive me one day?

- I already did.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve x bucky #stucky #stevebucky #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic #stevebucky fic #marvel #marvel fic #captain america #winter soilder

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