#but people die nonetheless
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cannot stop thinking about lupa and juno's reactions to jason's death. god did juno feel it when he died? did she hear his string get cut? did she wail loud enough that all of olympus heard it? what was it like realizing the boy she loved like a son was dead? was was it like watching his father not even shed a tear? was she the one to tell lupa? and on lupa's end, how angry do you think she was? this is her pup. her youngest pup. he was so young when he first started, when juno first gave him to her? he learned how to roughhouse with her packmates. he learned to fly with her! did she snap at juno? did she scream and curse and blame juno? did she howl mournfully?
#these are his moms!!!#not very good ones but his moms nonetheless!!#when he fought krios do you think he heard their voices in his head encouraging him#'victory or death jason' lupa says in head 'die like a roman or don't die at all.' jason picks up his sword again.#krios knock his sword out of his hand and jason bares his teeth. that's okay. he doesn't nned a weapon to fight#he wrestles krios to the floor and the titan's throat is bared and it would quick and simple to rip it out but he hesitates.#normal people dont do that. his head pounds. his lady's voice exhoes in his head 'go for the kill always my champion.'#jason leans down and clamps his teeth around krios' throat and rips it out. the titans gasps pathetically underneath him#it's not enough. he can already see the wound beginning to heal so he digs his fingers into the wound and starts pulling#the neck rips quickly once he gets started and he snaps the spine as he goes. finally with one last tug the head comes clean off.#he stands up from where he's kneeling over the body and picks up the head by its hair turning around to face the legion.#there is ichor staining his mouth golden. it drips onto his armor. he lifts the head up high. the legions stares at him in shock and awe.#they look terrified he notes absently. 'VICTORY FOR ROME!' he shouts and the campers explode into loud cheering.#sorry what the fuck was that#jason grace#juno pjo#lupa pjo#hoo#hera pjo
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Live protest in Dublin that I stumbled across, the comments were atrocious but the women's voice was angelic, Free Palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸
#palestine#free palestine#from river to sea palestine will be free#palestine war#palestine genocide#palestine will be free#palestine will never die#ireland#ireland protest for palestine should be a tag#every irish person should care about this#everyone in general should care#but we have out generations to look back on and apply to whats going on over there#if england had the resources then they would have done the same#i dont know why my fellow irish people dont recognise that#hamas is a response group#just like the ira#not good#nor acceptable#but a response group nonetheless
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Tiny Ace and his minions
#doodle heaven#my ocs#ace of hearts#alexandria#dee mise#theyre not really his minions as much as they are his wifes#but he makes use of them nonetheless#yes i have an edgy little crime syndicate based on suits of cards who doesnt#ace looks like hazes evil twin bc he Is...kinda#hes sigurds estranged son#alexandria is immortal and nothing will kill her even tho shes not very good at what she does#vanicho before vanicho really shes an older oc#and dee can see how people die with her little camera#which is useful in her line of work ig#shes very depressed and her immortal girlfriend is a ray of sunshine to her#they both belong to the queen of.....clovessss..... queen clover in the fantasy au#and ace is estranged from the hearts....heartes :) see#ok the end
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See, my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle, that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
His body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did
You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
-fast car by tracy chapman
#supernatural#tracy chapman#fast car#brainrot causes me to connect all lyrics to my blorbos#i'm trying to make gifs of the hannibal tending will's hand and dean tending sam's hand scenes#but i get so overwhelmed because tonally they are so different and the context is so different but i feel like i have a point nonetheless#but instead i ended up sitting here with premiere open and my eyes closed listening to fast car#and thinking but sam and dean......#wincest#spn 2x09#i haven't heard the luke combs version yet but boy are people talking about it everywhere it seems#leave tonight or live and die this way#🥲
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me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me
one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better
another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(
#alcohol /#drinking /#ask to tag??#weekend was eventful#like 30+ people turned up for this fucking party its the most relatives ive seen in one place since 2018#there was no hitting people with big sticks but someone did get pushed off a trampoline into a nettle patch#which i was not present for i went to bed early(ish). but funny nonetheless#my brother is a BAD INFLUENCE he just kept handing out beers to the cousins his age and getting them absolutely sloshed#people who like. hardly ever drink or even never have before#so the late night campfire was an Interesting Time#very irresponsible he got in so much trouble over it bc hes only allowed to drink if hes responsible about it..#which means not peer pressuring other 16 year olds.#several of which said later they dont remember anything after 11pm????? guys your LIVERS. thats NOT SAFE#im still on my anxiety bullshit tho i have a presentation to turn in Tomorrow Morning and i have no meds and am tired as fuck#and i DO kinda think people could possibly be mad at me but im just. not thinking abt that right now i have enough on my mind <3 ill die <3#i miss my friends im a wet shaking animal but if i talk to anyone and turns out they ARE mad i will evaporate into a fine mist i am sorry
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Ren In 3rd life and last life was a threat to everyone else, why was he such a wet dog in double life, this is like the times in comics where the villain retires
#hermitcraft#double life#3rd life#last life#rendog#i dont understand#but i love him lots nonetheless#hes just getting old#he kills like 8 people in 3rd life to die by stalactite in double life
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not reblogging the post because i know it's a flawed test (and infuriatingly poorly worded to wit) but the RAADS-R autism test is going around again and i got an 87, which is i think what i got the last time i took it and also tracks - i'm personally pretty certain that i'm not autistic, but (autistic) friends of mine have historically been split on the issue because apparently i 'act' like an autistic person and they're often surprised when i say i'm actually not
#my *closest* friends tend to think i'm not but - to quote one guy - '[i'm] very smart and smart ppl tend to have traits that overlap'#which is an interesting assessment (he's autistic tb clear) and i think i know where it's coming from#i'm very direct with comments; i often have trouble with empathy; i'm clever (or y'know 'clever' for a given value of the word);#i don't feel emotions particularly strongly - or immediately - and this comes across in my speech#which i've been told can come off as detached/disaffected/uncaring even when it's not trying to be;#i'm apparently quite difficult to read sometimes? or come off as intimidating per neutral expression;#uh. one time an english teacher told me that i'd taught her to 'think more logically' whatever the fuck that means;#these are i think stereotypical autistic 'smart guy' traits which do not actually map on to the majority of autistic people afaik#at least not as a package or all expressed the same way - but in this case i think it's a category error#interesting food for thought nonetheless. i spend some time thinking about it because people do ask me occasionally#and the general autistic mileu of tumblr.com has actually helped me be nicer to myself about those traits#(as well as check myself abt other people; i'm not going to pretend to be some kind of saintly autistic whisperer or w/e)#considered going back and taking the test with the 'most generous' and then the 'least generous' answers and comparing them#but i can't be bothered. add a button for 'in specific situations' or die by my hand#i WILL say that some of said autistic friends who were surprised to find out i wasn't#expressly thought i WAS because they drew a correlation between their behaviour and my own#so it's not just 'people are misreading me because of stereotypes about how autistic people act' although i do think that can be an element#let me know if this post is weird or w/e it is literally just speculating on myself and how people perceive me#as a consequence of tending to occupy circles otherwise occupied largely by neurodivergent people#('fandom' and 'archaeology and anthropology')
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I leave the BNHA fandom for a couple months, come back and I find out Bakugo fucking died???
The fuck Horikoshi
#I almost do want him to die#Itd be kinda funny#a masochistic kind of fun but#fun nonetheless#also i wanna dekus reaction to all this#im betting its gonna priceless#I dont actually think he's dying tho#its bakugo fucking katsuki people#bnha#bnha 362#mha manga#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#bakugo katuski#izuku midoriya#deku#dynamight
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don’t really know how to articulate this but learning that so many people disliked lyse in stormblood for being so headstrong coming off of the heels of the expansion with fucking estinien in it makes me feel an unreasonable amount of rage
#ff#I LIKE HIM by the way but i will admit that a lot of my heavensward experience consisted of me being very unfair to him#because i was like “oh the amount of attention given to him both by the game and by the fans#is going to be SO disproportionate to the amount of attention given to ysayle isn’t it” and. well.#and i DO understand a lot of the complaints levied against stormblood including the ones i don’t necessarily agree with#but lyse haters should blow up and die etc etc#(the BIGGEST issue with her has to do with the colorism in her design#which is important to talk about but nonetheless not related to why people are so vile towards her more often than not#and even then wouldn’t necessarily be a problem regarding her writing but a problem regarding ffxiv as a whole. or something 👍)#j txt
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Yes, she has a minor obsession with finally being safe and feeling safe and secure around someone else. Yes, she would literally rather eat her own tongue than ever admit to this. She contains dualities.
#Glory and Gore || IC#Many fish in the sea || Misc. IC Content#(( yes she has an obsession with feeling protected by someone else and wanted to be protected by someone else#(( yes this is caused by her severe and lifelong trauma#(( yes she will be So Fucking Mad if anyone points this out to her#(( IGNORE IT. STOP LOOKING AT HER VULNERABILITIES. STOP THAT.#(( THATS LICH RALLY THE THING SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT!!!#(( (yes this also Might Just Be the source of her knight kink)#(( (nice to have other people fight for her. nice to have other people protect her to the very end.)#(( (nice to have other people willing to die for her and to risk it all just to keep her safe)#(( (nice to have other people serve her in a very physical way that nonetheless reassures her that they will never let any harm come to her
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mannn i forgot how much kutaro & reko meant to me
#i will dig into it later maybe but just. they care so much and so freely. even though they've both been burnt before#reko moreso considering the industry#but nonetheless it's just. real sweet having them get along after the alice reveal (yts iteration) and having them talk a bit abt family#the ideas of how they have the pressure from parents but then the comfort found in friends... explodes#so many people who love you... do you even realize#jestersvaguely#yttdposting#there is more to it but i need something lighthearted rn or else i will. die
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i think luke and asch's sense of identity are rooted in the same place, but they both have different views of what that is. for a long time, luke knows hes luke because there isnt anything else he can be, even if he didn't think of himself as the luke fon fabre. he eventually found comfort in the fact that he is luke ("even if you refuse to acknowledge me... i am me" comes to mind first) because its all he's ever known, and because he doesnt have to be anything else. whereas i think asch knows he is luke, but he isn't luke. little luke fon fabre of house fabre died at age 10, and became something else. 'asch' is who he is, and its who he's become, and its because he knew how to be something else that made that decision. he is luke fon fabre, but he is not luke fon fabre. that's not his name anymore, and that's not who he is anymore.
#tales of the abyss#.text#i think him calling himself 'luke fon fabre' at the end of the game was. supposed to be a comfort to him.#he knew he was going to die there. but more than anything i am certain he knew he was going to lose that fight with luke.#him giving up that name to his replica was. a sign of trust i think. 'the rest i leave to you' and the promise he made#to luke that he would return. it was a sign of Trust.#and asch's character is very largely static especially compared to luke. who is VERY dynamic.#but his character development is very apparent nonetheless. the asch from the beginning of the game would not#have done ANY of what he did at the end of the game. especially in regards to seeing luke as his equal and someone#worthy of his trust.#this ended up being asch meta. sorry#just thinking a lot how ive seen a lot of people have asch go by the name luke after the events of the game#and i think that completelt disregards the themes going on between asch and luke as well as the themes of the game itself#not to mention it lacks thought as to what asch himself would do and think.#nobody gets them like i do...
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Think I might draw Qirri today in relation to the new story.
She's always had a cloud of uncertainty concerning her health, and this has just sort of made it a lot worse. On top of the fact that she's coming off of having everyone around her thrust into this Big Important Role without any regard to their safety, and while she says it's less stressful with the Dragonwatch Krewe, the stress the people in her life endure comes down on them when something needs figured out.
There's a lot she blames herself for and it's hitting a lot harder than anticipated.
And now that Rissia and Vezz have stepped down, Garrus has stepped up to fill that spot full time... and Qirri refuses to let him do that alone. Which means again risking her health, but this time it's so much more.
#bunny thoughts#post eod spoilers#wlb spoilers#gw2 spoilers#somewhere deep down Qirri is still that terrified progeny#sitting behind a half finished turret as a massive Risen abomination barrels down on her#as the people she loves and trusts cry out in panic and fear and pain around her#she was sixteen!#she watched her first and best friend take that hit and hit the ground hard#she was dragged away as her and everyone else's mentors stayed behind to die horrible deaths#but she was Zojja's apprentice she had to stick it out#and then at sixteen she helped slay a dragon#no one wanted to call a child commander but she was thrust into legend nonetheless#and now she's here#and she's small and scared and helpless again in a way that aches in her stomach#just vibrating over this
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Chapelle on SNL :/ (<— vibe ruined)
#me when I hire trans nb and gnc writers.#then bring that guy on for clout#tbh yeah let the show die off idc anymore#honking#didn’t watch the episode. didn’t even know he hosted until just now#but nonetheless [vomits]#he hasn’t done anything of note this year besides he controversial#so like either they ran out of culturally relevant people who want to be on the show#or his team asked for him to go on#like with him opening up for m*laney last summer#eugh. comedyposting on main my bad
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#dunmeshi analysis#I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you#and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of#but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can#dungeon meshi spoilers
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