#but now I have to do them in less than 12 hours bc I’m fucking stressed out
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with only three episodes left, what do you think is in store for the rest of the volume? personally, i’m having trouble imagining a solid resolution fitting into such a small window. not that i doubt there’s a way to end this volume succinctly—rwby is always throwing curveballs i could’ve never predicted hitting, which i love—but i suppose the hangnail in resolution’s cuticle is that jrwby are all finally facing their lifelong, beaten-in worldview being turned on its head and that seems like the kind of thing (on top of neo’s untold ever after story) that needs more time to be resolved. in which case, ig we’re not looking at a clean wrap up? do you think they end this volume ascending the ever after? escaping back to remnant? (i ask those two questions separately bc i wanna say they might have different answers lol)
as a point of comparison, here’s everything (not necessarily in chronological order) that happened in the last three episodes of V8:
1 - ironwood vs everyone beat down
2 - winter heel face turn completed
3 - met ambrosius + staff of creation rules
4 - magic rules lawyered penny into a flesh body to save her from the virus with a side dish of horrible body horror robot body death scene and holy shit atlas is FALLING.
5 - creation of whacky portals for evacuation to vacuo
6 - emergency evacuation broadcast CANCELLED!
7 - cinder remembers the power of friendship and uses it for evil
8 - cinder recovered the lamp and scored the password and used the last question to spy on team oz which is fucking hysterical by the way, so she knows the entire plan
9 - YANG DIES?
10 - ruby and blake fall too. and neo
11 - the evacuation dumps everyone in a sandstorm so they can’t call for backup and also the exit is one-way (“oh dear. ambrosius \:” love that enthusiasm sir)
12 - HARRIET TRIES TO NUKE MANTLE?
13 - ironwood murders jacques
14 - eleventh hour harriet heel face turn also zeki dies because atlesian tech goons thought the nuke needed to be plugged into the IOT for some reason god bless
15 - PENNY???
16 - and winter becomes the winter maiden
17 - TEAM RWBY TOTAL PARTY KILL!!
18 - jaune also
19 - salem and cinder playing chicken over who is going to blink first like they don’t both already know that it’s going to be salem
20 - ATLAS OBLITERATED FOREVER
that’s a lot of things!
now, it’s a lot easier to set up and execute a dense, tightly-paced climactic spiral of disaster than bring a lot of interconnected emotional crises to satisfying resolution in the same amount of runtime—but on the other hand, V9 has a lot less going on. it doesn’t FEEL that way because the emotional development has been so rich and done so, so well, but there honestly are not that many narrative threads to tie off. basically, the big ones are:
1 - ruby’s emotional crisis
2 - jaune’s corruption
3 - neo
4 - how do we get home?
5 - what do we do once we get there?
compared to the sheer amount of dominoes V8 had to juggle, handling this stuff is a nice little walk.
the key thing to remember—& this has been true for every one of rwby’s climactic sequences and also counts as writing advice—is that none of these major threads are truly discrete. they’re all interwoven with each other and bound together with all the smaller filaments (like the cat’s arc or little’s arc or the framing device of ‘the girl who fell through the world’ and what really went down with alyx and the tree), so you don’t have to resolve them separately and indeed you can’t because it all has to happen at once. what this means, from a writing standpoint, is you layer up and make every scene work towards the resolution of two or three major threads and however many minor filaments you can fit comfortably so that everything is doing work for everything else. if you’re efficient you don’t need a lot of time to pull off a stunning climactic sequence, and efficiency is something rwby has always been very, very good at. this is true even of V1 even though V1 feels laughably inefficient by the standards of V8; which is to say, they started off good and got much better.
the other piece to bear in mind is that V9 is not meant to be self-contained; it is not a character-focused breather volume to let the protagonists heal up before returning to remnant to carry on as they were, it is The Answer. when rwbyjn go home they are not going to return to the story they fell out of at the end of V8. that story is OVER. it ENDED. the final word was checkmate and the world they knew is GONE FOREVER. salem WON. the ever after is an epilogue to that story and the prologue for another; it isn’t building towards a resolution so much as it is building a hook.
(<- remember V3 “beginning of the end” and “end of the beginning”? this story-within-story device is something rwby has utilized before; this show is a singular contiguous narrative in the literal sense, but it’s structured as a trilogy.)
so V9 needs to be a satisfying farewell to the middle book and also make the case for continuing on to the third and final story—which very much works to its benefit here, because the sweeping emotional changes being developed actually SHOULDN’T be resolved. a clean wrap up would critically weaken the narrative structure. the immediate crises need to be realized—there must be a moment of peace, of closing one book and beginning the next; a hopeful glimpse of the story to come, of what it could be—and then they go home. and the new story begins.
in the figurative sense you could call it ascension. in the literal sense, no, i don’t think any of the remnant characters are going to ascend because i don’t think they can (frankly i’m bemused as to why so many people seem to believe otherwise; it seems to me that the cat has made it very clear that ascension is closed to non-afterans). but the idea of ascension? oh, yes, they’re carrying that forward with them.
as for whether they’ll return to remnant—yes. i think the probability that they don’t find their way home by episode ten is zero. how they return is an open question but also not a question at all, because the tree is the question and their answer is the door; this has been spelled out, explicitly, albeit in wonderlandish terms. what we don’t know yet is what this will look like, because the tree is also the blacksmith and the ever after runs on wonderland rules. it’s not going to be literal. (<- unless abstraction is less absurd than the literal option, which is possible given the likelihood that the ever after itself is fictional.)
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belle what the fuck happened??? are you okay???
long story short (prob won’t be short, knowing me oops):
tw: drug overdose, suicide, hospitalization mentions
work has been one of the biggest stressors in my life lately. i’ve been getting relentlessly harassed and bullied by a coworker (and my boss has done very little in regards to it), and something happened the other day with an extremely cruel parent of one of my kids, and it triggered something in me.
i was already having a difficult time the night before in regards to my ex (had a late night arguing with him and there were many countless unkind words said about me and the kind of person i am), and i was already in an incredibly bad place, so the work thing just pushed me to the edge. so i left work early, purchased a lot of cold medicine, went home, and took it all on top of sleeping pills and other stuff i can’t remember. said goodbye to my loved ones before i eventually went to sleep.
after that, a lot of it was a blur, so what i’m relaying right now is either from the few times i was lucid or from what other people have recalled to me.
live-in ex had been driving around trying to find me after my friends at work alerted her that i’d left suddenly, but she eventually made her way back to our apartment where she found me cold in our bed, and so she called 911. she tried rousing me but she was unsuccessful. paramedics eventually came and they kept trying to wake me up and eventually brought me to the emergency room.
i’m not sure what they tried to do to me in there, but obviously they tried to flush all the drugs out or whatever. i remember very little during this time, just that they had to cut my clothes off of me and i couldn’t stay awake for long. live-in ex was there the whole time, but they didn’t let her in the room until my mom got there and declared her as family (they wouldn’t let her past the waiting area bc we’re not related, so my mom had them list her as my spouse so she could be with me).
eventually, they placed me in the ICU where i was placed on bed rest (literally was not allowed to get off my bed because there were at least like, five or six wires attached to me) the whole time. a nurse has to be in the same room as me at all times, so they rotate these different nurses in 12 hour shifts, apart from the regular lead nurse who does hourly rounds to check on me. thankfully, they allowed visitors, so live-in ex stayed with me for most of it (so did my mom and my dad briefly, but they’re not as important). when they deemed me “healthy” enough (basically they wanted to make sure i didn’t lose my liver or something), they moved me into a regular hospital room.
been in here for the past day or so now. i can still have visitors, so live-in ex, both my parents, and my baby sister have all visited me. one of my coworkers who i’m close to also surprised me with a visit (which was so sweet, i was trying not to cry). they’re thankfully allowing me to have my phone and all (i’d be going insane if not), but i’ve been mostly sleeping honestly.
i tried asking them to not admit me into the psych ward cause i hate being in the looney bin, but i don’t have much of a choice because of the “severity” of my attempt. tried to opt for outpatient, but gonna be put in inpatient whether i like it or not, so i’ll be spending christmas here in the hospital alone unfortunately. oh well.
oops, yeah, not long story short lmao. anyway, sorry for worrying y’all. i really was not as lucid as i believed i was at the time that i’d made all those cryptic posts. i wanted to spend some time writing while i’m in here, but my emotional state has been so raw recently and the past few days being in here has caused me to be a lot more blocked in regards to that. my writing is tied to my emotions, so i won’t be able to write for y’all until i can process my emotions better again.
i don’t necessarily plan to abandon y’all, but if i’m slightly less active on here than usual, please understand why.
love you all.
#2023 has been one of the hardest years of my life#anon#belle answers#drug overdose mention#suicide mention#hospitalization mention#v
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TW: panic attacks, grief, anxiety, generally not great mental health stuff. Please proceed carefully if you choose to read because I don’t want anyone to be triggered by what I’m talking about Letting all my thoughts out in a thread, probably a stupid idea
Twitter is hardly a place to seek help or counselling of any kind but I need to put my thoughts somewhere and threads have helped me before when my brain is disorganised so here we are
It’s currently 4am and I’m awake because I had a panic attack in the middle of the night. I checked Twitter on instinct because it used to be a safe space for me. This is where I came when I lost my grandma bc I needed a distraction from the grief. I needed somewhere I felt safe
The loss is something I haven’t spoken about much bc I needed a place to go where it wasn’t happening. I needed silly fun and SMAUs to keep my mind busy. I needed one place to go where I didn’t have to hear ‘sorry for your loss’ and ofmdtwt helped me to laugh when I wanted to d*e
You don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life and some people have treated what happened yesterday as drama to make jokes about. And to quote the show that supposedly unites us, I’m not fine. People have been hurt on all sides of this and I’m not ok with that.
People have made their own assumptions about what my opinion is because I didn’t say anything last night. People who were hyping me up after a bad day are now the same ones who have decided I’m not worth knowing at all because I didn’t say anything fast enough to suit them but I didn’t say anything because I was in the midst of a panic attack about everything. Panic attacks that I was doing so well on handling and now I’ve had 2 in less than 12 hours. So let me reiterate, you don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life.
And what’s fucking breaking me is the first person I would go to when my anxiety is this bad is my grandma. And she’d always say ‘oh love, things will turn out right, you can always come and talk to gran’ and now I’m curled up sobbing at 4am because she’s gone and I can’t
My safe spaces are gone. And some people reading are probably like ‘lol so over dramatic get over it’ and maybe you’re right. But once again let me remind you that you don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life. I’m still grieving and ofmdtwt was my safe space from it.
I’ve barely slept, I’ve had two panic attacks, my mental state is a shambles. I’m not in a good place. I want a hug from my grandma. I want to hear her voice, I want to be told ‘oh love, things will turn out right’ and believe it. Because right now I don’t believe it at all.
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Will I be projecting this into a South Park fanfiction at some point probably very sorry in advance to either Kyle or maybe Tweek but tbh I gotta rant real quick about my supremely awful day
(Cut for both severe anxiety and possible eating problem triggers)
So like I act and stuff right. Low budget independent shorts, projects for the local film school, things of that nature. And I had a shoot today for a class that’s essentially focused on filming an 8 page script in 12 hours, teaches the students professionalism, all that.
I woke up anxious for reasons I couldn’t pinpoint, wore Kyle socks under my costume for powers, figured I’d be okay once I got into the swing of the shoot. I was not. There was this chunk of very specific scientific dialogue that I just COULD NOT get to come out in the right order, and what did my bitch ass brain do? Fucking spiraled with it. Which made talking harder, which made the “YOURE A FAILURE YOURE A FAILURE” internal dialogue worse, and it continued. And I had a goddamn panic attack on the soundstage.
I wound up shaking in the green room literally crying, someone had to go get my husband from the editing suite because they didn’t know what to do, I could HEAR the professor talking to his class about “when talent has emotional problems during production it’s important not to let them know they’re holding up the shoot”, and the worst part? This was less than an hour before we broke for lunch.
And I’ve vagued about this before, but I’m a recovered anorexic. About five years ago, I did the whole outpatient thing or whatever, was in therapy for a while for it, almost had to drop out of college for it, all that shit, and for the most part I consider myself to be fine now. But that mentality pops up every once in a while, and that shit is AWFUL.
The AD called for lunch, and my first fucking thought was “you don’t fucking deserve to eat you worthless piece of garbage”, and like NO BRUH TF?!? Having a goddamn stroke on set is literally no reason to punish yourself, like if anyone else was having a gnarly anxiety day I would absolutely be encouraging them to take it easy on themselves, hydrate and eat, whatever they need, so how fucked up is it that I couldn’t do that for myself. I did wind up having a slice of the college film student set staple that is little cesars cardboard ass pizza bc Opposite Actions, but it was a huge mental struggle.
It’s definitely worth noting that NO ONE was nasty to me about my breakdown, at least not to my face, even though I was completely fucked in the head afterwards for the remainder of the shoot. I’ve worked with a lot of these people before, they know me and know it was just a bad day, and one of the girls I worked art department with on a previous feature was script supervisor for this one, and she came into the green room and sat with me, stopped me from biting at my fingertips because I hadn’t realized I was making myself bleed, kept me from hyperventilating until my partner got there. The director got with his team to work out what footage they could get until I was more steady. The AD checked in constantly for the rest of the shoot. The other actor was incredibly sweet and shared anecdotes from his stage acting days to cheer me up whenever I’d get anxious over a missed word in a take. No one was a dick to me. At all.
Except myself.
I don’t like to consider myself mentally ill, despite the fact that I know there’s no shame in it; I’m diagnosed with anxiety and depression, plus the whole eating disorder thing, obsessive compulsive disorder, I’ve been told I should get evaluated for autism (tbh yeah probably) like yall I’m a fucking disaster. But no one, NO ONE will ever be as hard on me as I am on myself. Also, it was a student production the Friday before spring break. They cut shots and wrapped early because nobody wanted to be there.
If you can step back and put shit In perspective, it helps. Unfortunately I’m very bad at that.
Very sorry for the rant being a person is fucking stupid but at the end of the day I love helping people tell the stories they want to tell and also wearing south park socks under my 1950s scientist costume.
#anyway back to the regularly scheduled pce being feral abt her favorite boys#my day sucked fucking ass and now I’m going to try and find style whump that I haven’t read yet#I’m a walking disaster#it’s fine#I will almost certainly not find any#personal#very sorry to anyone who reads this that may be triggered by both Ed thoughts and anxiety that’s not my intention#also shoutout to the boom op who gave a Tylenol and said *ARE YOU A FUCKING SNAKE* when I draw swallowed them
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obscure memories
when we watched scarface together, u me and ur friend, it was like a cocaine game. every time this or that snort a line. then it became a competition bc coke was ur drug of choice, and i wasn’t even paying attention just lost in the sauce bc we had so much blow it didn’t matter. then my palms started sweating like crazy, i was shaking, i felt my breathing switch to manual and my heart palpitated so loudly it echoed against my skull. i tapped out first and sat trying to focus on the movie while quietly wondering if i was about to overdose, id just gone line after line after line without stopping to let it hit. it was terrifying and exhilarating. I thought after about people who get addicted to the feeling of almost dying.
triple pressed 6mg xanax. your roommate gave it to me as a way of asking if it was cool to take u to the casino 2 hours away. I was supposed to be sober-ish, xans weren’t really allowed atm bc I had almost OD’d at a party and took like 8 when no one was watching me. I got so excited, tried to play it cool, but he knew I was feening. You looked pissed off but tucked me in and put on Blue Planet as I started to get high. Drifting off was so peaceful and blissful. I woke up hours later when you got home, I was still high and when you crawled into bed it was so warm and felt so safe. I smiled like an idiot and passed out again.
The first time I tried cocaine I was 19. The plug came over, it was super lowkey and felt like I was intruding but he was really gentle spirited despite how scary he looked. You let me snort coke right from the brick, it was to date the purest blow I’ve ever had and nothing will ever compare to it. I was instantly euphoric and horny to the point I could’ve had a girls gone wild moment I didn’t even care. You had a rule to not fuck on drugs so we didn’t but I wanted to so badly I could barely act normal, it was almost embarrassing. I was numb for hours, tingly and happy… like a straight shot of serotonin right to the brain. Funny how in less than a month we were doing blow again to go grocery shopping
The first time I smoked weed I was between 2 of my guy friends smoking me up for the first time, ironically both of them were trying to court me. I was supposed to go to the other guys house but something came up and I was bitching about wanting to smoke to the other one, he says fuck it come over right now and we can smoke. I remember hitting the bowl and it was instantly like the rising feeling of being at the top of a roller coaster. I was immediately giggling about everything. We sorta hangout and I can’t stand to look at him because he’s honestly scaring me while I’m high, but everything else is amazing. He had these bricks at the front door and I dumped out a cup of water on it “as a joke”, honestly he got pissed and it was really confusing for me when I was stoned. I went home with bloodshot eyes late late at night, avoided my parents and went upstairs put my headphones on went to sleep. It was a school night but I didn’t come home till late most nights anyways. We started smoking every day after school and I’d smoke with my neighbor otw to school. Another friend brought edibles in and shared them with the lunch table. It was unfortunate because if I hadn’t gone and smoked at that guys house I wouldn’t have been r*ped by him later on, I wouldn’t have been his girlfriend. I made the wrong choice smoking with him so often and letting him learn how to manipulate me. The second I gave in I lost all my power. Could have avoided so much mental illness if I’d never moved in with him.
Painkillers… so weirdly the first times I got high on pain pills I was only 12 or 13, I was still at the age where I played sims on the family computer for hours… I was on my period and it was so severe (and they are so severe) my dad gave me Tramadol, im allergic to all nsaids except Tylenol so he really did me a solid there. I didn’t really react in any type of weird way but zoned into the games happy and chillin, my period cramps came back 35 minutes later but I was still a little litty. I ended up taking a nap on the guest bed with my cat. Later I’d do them a few more times but as an adult, my dad was addicted so it was a mental block where I was actually nervous to take them as an adult. I remember taking Vicodin and Percocet in the summer at your friends house, I always wanted to get more after and you always told me no. I don’t have strong recollections of what happened when I was high maybe I nodded, but I liked the euphoria I felt so at ease and like I understood the world. I felt childlike wonder again. We watched all 3 Austin Powers movies smoking blunts to the face high as fuck, I was so giggly and happy and felt so good. I literally at one point thought “ I get it dad this shits awesome “ I looked at u guys and loved u guys, felt like u were the best friends I’d ever have in that moment. Everything was fuzzy and bright, colors were so vivid, I felt fuzzy n warm inside … I loved it sm
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hey stupid, i love you [MCYT: Dream x GN!Reader]
song: hey stupid I love you by jp saxe
warnings: fluff
im pretty sure i made this an gender neutral as possible but if there is an error lmk thanks bby :*
im in a simpin mood bby
as always, song lyrics in italics
i skipped a couple versus due to repetitiveness oops
this is the one i complained about losing, but it actually worked out bc i like this one better...less wordy
word count: ~2k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing's wrong, and it's not what I'm used to
Oh, does it surprise you too?
When it's simple, is it easier than it should be?
"Hey babe, are you okay? You've been quiet today," Dream practically pouted as he asked you. He loved the sound of your voice and while you definitely weren't giving him the quiet treatment, you sure weren't as talkative as you normally are.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just distracted thinking my thoughts." You smiled at him and leaned against him. He looked down at you and pecked your lips. You gave him a sweet kiss back. The smile he gave you made your heart boom. Loving him was as easy as eating a cake (because the usually analogy 'baking a cake' isn't true, its sometimes hard to bake a cake, especially when a hungry streamer keeps trying to eat the batter or start a flour fight).
"Anyway, don't you have a stream with the Dream Team to get ready for? One that starts in," you look at the clock on your phone, "three minutes ago?" The slight panic that crosses Dream's face makes you laugh loud. He gives you another kiss and in less than five seconds has practically launched himself across the house into his recording room. Your laughter follows him the whole way, a smile and blush upon his face.
Nothing's wrong, but when you're not in my arms
I send voice notes, you send hearts
And get quiet, and I know that means you miss me
Okay, granted, you were the one to remind him that he was streaming with his friends today and speedrunning, but you didn't expect it to last well over five hours. At the beginning you worked on your classwork for your [college degree of choice]. You got it done quickly, as it was nearing the end of the semester and most professors of yours were laidback and wanted you to study more than write nonsense papers (fictional you, i'm so jealous). Occasionally you would jump in fear when you heard Dream shout, still not used to it after years.
After finishing your classwork, you started cooking dinner. Soup was the vibe for the evening, and you had found a wonderful chicken and dumplings recipe a while ago that you wanted to try. You did have to go to the store for some of the ingredients, but luckily it only took you an hour. You can back and he was still streaming. It took about another hour for dinner to be done. You let it cool and prepared yourself a bowl. You set your laptop up and started watching Dream's stream. Hearing his voice made you miss him, so you pulled out your phone.
Going to the two of y'alls messages, you started making him a voice message.
"Hey baby, I made dinner, so don't play so long it gets cold. I love you! Kick the enderdragon's ass baby! Mwah."
You continued watching him stream, and he took a pause for a minute, his screen not moving from the create a new world screen and his mic muted. A couple seconds later you got spammed with every heart offered in the emoji index times what felt like a thousand.
He continued being quiet for a couple seconds, although he did unmute and continue playing, answering George's and Sapnap's questions of where he went with, "I had to take a message."
You're jealous, you shouldn't be
I want you obsessively
But I know how complicated it can get
When you're not in front of me
I know insecurities get in your head
Chat sometimes upset you. Sure, you got Dream, all of him, but sometimes the comments made by some of the more obsessives fans were a bit to much.
'With the way he killed those mobs you know he's got good fingers'
'His voice is hot so he must be'
'Heyo dream baby lemme see them feet'
Okay the last one was more weird, and actually turned out to be a joke from Quackity but anyway moving on.
He was your guy, and he promised himself to you, but sometimes he seemed to have a genuine connection with some of the sweeter and not gross ones. It made you scared that someone, one day, will swoop him off his feet with a comment and he’d leave you for them.
But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it
Roll my eyes, get offended by the way you doubt it
You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes
So promise me you won’t
And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't
The stream ended a little under an hour later. Dream left his recording room, grabbed a bowl of soup, and found you in the living room, lost in thought. He plopped down right next to you.
“Talk to me baby.”
“About what?”
“Anything and everything.”
“Okay.” You’re quiet for a bit, despite his offering of listening. He knew you were gonna take him up on the offer, you just needed a bit of time, so he was going to wait patiently. He finished his soup quickly, he was much hungrier than he thought. He put the bowl on the coffee table and before he was all the way leaned back on the couch, you were leaning against him. His arms wrapped around you, your head was tucked in between his head and shoulder, and a blanket covered the both of you. You looked towards the blank tv screen but felt his eyes on you.
“I love you a lot. And I know you love me too, but I’m afraid I’m not enough. You have so many options, especially with your popularity online. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me, whether it be for someone else or just because you’re tired of me.” Dream waits for you to stop entirely, with you breathing heavily.
“Well, you’re right about one thing. I do love you, a lot. The rest of it is wrong and I’ll spend the rest of time telling you so.” Dream says, pressing several kisses against your forehead.
“Yeah I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but my anxiety gets the best of me. It’s stupid, I’m stupid.”
“First of all, you’re not stupid. Second, hey stupid, I love you.”
Nothing's wrong, I just get in my head too
Can you reassure me you, you're still in it?
I just wish you could lean in and kiss me
As much as Dream loved you and reassured you, sometimes he would get caught up in his thoughts too. The life of a streamer/youtuber, especially one with as much fame and subscribers as him, was rough. The constant need to feed his fans with entertainment and content, and the need for the content to satisfy his fans was stressful. He hates to admit it, but he some days he spent to much time working and not enough with you. He thinks you would be so much happier with someone without a tight schedule and without a large, intense fanbase. Any random person on the street would be better for you than him, he thinks.
When he gets into this headspace, the only thing that grounds him is your lips on his. When you kiss him, the clouds go away and all he can see is your eyes, as bright as the sun, and your smile, which can tempt even the purest.
Say nothing's wrong, tell me to settle down
You do it better than I've ever known how
Won't pull some tricks for attention
But could I get a little now?
Now, everyone knows that Dream likes some attention. He especially likes attention from you. Good thing is you also like attention, especially from him. The not so good thing is both of y’all get distracted so bad, it’s almost too funny.
He tends to get your attention by tickling you, whether it be in the comfort of your home or in public. One day, when you guys were walking through town, you stopped at a flower booth and got to talking with the friendly and flirty florist gentleman. It had been a couple minutes, and Dream was really needing some love, but you continued chatting with the florist who was definitely going to ask for your number but you genuinely thought he was just being nice. Dream crept up behind you and placed his hands on your side. You froze for a moment and looked at him, confused. The smirk that crossed his face barely gave you a second to prepare as he tickled your sides. Your laughter filled the street as you turned around as he tickled you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, which got him to stop ticking you, and gave him a kiss. The two of you continued on your way, attached at the hip.
And one day, when you wanted his attention, it was after he was done recording a manhunt with his friends. The actual video had been done for a bit, but they were just fucking around in the minecraft world and talking to each other. You had had a not so nice day, and wanted the crushing weight of your boyfriend on top of you. You crept into his recording room and came to stand right behind his chair. Based on the conversation you could tell he wasn’t recording anymore, so you knew it was safe. Your hands started in his hair, trailed down to his face, and slid down his body till your arms were wrapped around him snuggly. Your head was placed on top of his.
“What are you doing?” he asked, and received no response. Instead, you began aggressively shaking him and the chair, turning it this way and that, making him slightly dizzy. His laughter filled the room, and he quickly ended the call. The two of you spent the next 12 hours cuddled in bed, leaving only for the necessities.
You're jealous, you shouldn't be
I want you obsessively
But I know how complicated it can get
When you're not in front of me
I know insecurities get in your head
Dream got jealous as well sometimes. You were beautiful and a lot of the time attracted the attention of random passerbyers. Those people, who you don’t even know, who lived normal lives where they didn’t have to spend every second worried that their face will be revealed to the public and suddenly all their fans from around the world will know what they look like or the general area in which they live, who don’t have to obey algorithms and bend to the will of the masses to make sure they get paid enough to live, who could give you a normal and safe life. Every time one looked at you with some attraction, he pulled you a bit closer and kissed you a bit harder.
But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it
Roll my eyes or get offended by the way you doubt it
You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes
So promise me you won’t
And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't
Sometimes, Dream needed to rant. A long, hard, intense, rant. Sometimes it was about how someone accused him of cheating his speedruns. Sometimes it was about how someone said something nasty to him or one of his friends. Sometimes it was about a comment someone made about him or you that got on his nerves. When he needed to talk, you sat there and you listened. You did whatever he needed to get better, whether it was just listen or talk to find solutions. You did it because you know he would do the same for you. And afterwards, a cuddle session was a must.
How could you forget?
I told you seventeen times before 7 AM
I love you
How could you forget?
I told you seventeen times
The morning after rough days were one of the bests. Arms tangled together, legs tangled together, everything tangled together, no one able to tell where one started and the other ended. Lazy kisses pressed to faces, hands, necks, any part of skin the lips could touch. One particular morning you woke up earlier than he did. A quick kiss against his cheek woke him up, and he gave you the most love filled smile any man could do.
“Hey stupid,” you said, “I love you.”
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Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1
🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶
Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??
Yes.
Wushanju Crew Chat
Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.
Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS
Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.
Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES
Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol
What glittery bead curtain
Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.
What could this mean?
Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?
Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES
Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat
Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU
I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS
BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING
GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS
PANIC AT THE DISCO
Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.
Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.
Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT
SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME
Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?
Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES
BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.
Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop
Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.
Wang Pangzi: LOL
Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?
Zhang Qiling: No.
Wu Xie: okay who’s next
Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN
REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)
Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?
Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.
Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS
BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL
ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS
Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted
Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL
Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off
Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year
He and I go way back
Zhang Qiling: Way back where?
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT
IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS
YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM
Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.
Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY
LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE
Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.
Main Chat
Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival
Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that
Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.
Re: the trip
He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju
Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital
And frankly the hospital hates him too
Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL
I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT
A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE
WOULDNT YOU SAY
XIOAGE
Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?
Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?
Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.
ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED
Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?
Li Cu: uh nope
Unless u count the outdated memes
Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing
Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet
Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really
(I mean maybe? but who knows)
Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age
Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age
Wu Xie: …hey:(
Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.
Wu Xie: ????????
Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck
Unknown Number: …close enough.
Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that
Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck
Are you
Li Cu is underage FYI
So Im staying on this chat
Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that
Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g
u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember
And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat
we have been discussing u
Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!
What a surprise:)
hi so nice to meet you:)
Main Chat:
Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT
FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT
IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS
Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?
Not my problem? Good.
Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU
HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH
IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE
Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance
has he been collecting on two allowances??
Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?
Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.
Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?
Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)
Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.
another dangerous adventure. again. prick.
Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago
Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago
Li Cu: That isn’t funny.
Unknown Number: …What?
Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.
…I use humor as a coping mechanism?
Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?
Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means
He doesn’t cope, like ever
In fact
It’s kind of why we met
Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh
Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao
Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?
Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why
Main Chat
Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv
Who do we know who spends time in jail
Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process
Also how’s the curtain case coming along
Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?
Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure
Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH
Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat
Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit
u are sus as hell
Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night
I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles
Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved
Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.
Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha
Forget i said anything
Delete this chat even
Li Cu: shit I meant
Legally, biologically, I meant—
shit
…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?
Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!
Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here
lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e
Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff
Wu Xie: uh…okay.
Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail
As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less
I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”
Well maybe the sand
that shit was everywhere
Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.
Li Cu: no, no it’s just
I do technically have a dad
who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.
So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there
Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh
Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right
Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that
Li Cu: ew tmi
Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery
I moved my stuff here, I live here now
So you can’t die anymore
Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned
anyways abt the curtain
Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea
I am in tears.
Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here
Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb
Go hug Pangzi or something
Maybe delete this chat
Or the curtain thing
Focus on the curtain thing
Just stfu and go away
Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3
Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.
Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything
Main Chat
Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*
Wang Pangzi: I MEAN
HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH
BUT SURE
CUTE I GUESS
Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)
Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.
Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE
NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN
DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID
Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid
Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?
Wu Xie: right
Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH
Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.
Unnamed Chat:
Unknown number: so the curtain…
Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know
Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive
Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out
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[copied over from my cr blog, also this is gonna get long, i’d apologise but im not sorry]
okay, so
this is a rant probably about 7 years in the making, bc when i first watched lok i had not done any music study, i had not done any composing of my own, my knowledge of music theory was at a primary school level and i still thought tv soundtracks were just made by one person composing a whole cache of music and then the audio editors pick and choose what track to place where
(spoiler alert that’s not how film and tv scoring works, i have now done a music composition course where we had to score a short film, among other things, and i have so much more respect for tv composers jesus christ)
but this one stuck out to me even way back then, bc me barely knowing what a leitmotif was was like “hey this one little refrain keeps popping up whenever bolin does lavabending, and i like it, i’m gonna see if it’s on the soundtrack”
it was not, and that’s sort of where i left it back in 2014, but i actually did a rewatch of lok pretty recently out of nostalgia, and then noticed it even more
and to explain why (and this is also a little bit why five’s stuck out to me in tua, i’ll get to that in another ask), let’s cover, leitmotifs, and tv scoring in general
so a leitmotif is basically just a short musical idea that represents something in a piece of music. when i studied motivic development we were encouraged to make that motif four notes or less, and then develop it into something longer (aka a theme), because if you can constantly come back to a really short idea while keeping the piece moving, that’s what makes a piece of music memorable
(you can ignore those rules on purpose but that’s a different essay)
so the most common way that a leitmotif shows up in soundtracks is to represent a character or a location - you play the motif when that character shows up or when you’re in that location and boom, the audience associates that motif with that person place or thing, and you can then use this to tell the audience things without actually telling them. for example, star wars playing the imperial march whenever someone does something darth vader related - darth vader isn’t on screen, but you can feel his presence, because his music is playing
and if we were a film score, where we have two hours to show one particular character’s development, great! we give them a simple motif, and then as they grow as a person we change their motif to reflect what is happening to them, until we end up with something that communicates on a subconscious level how much they’ve grown. we toss in as much symbolism as we can, and we have a really great soundtrack that’s instantly memorable
tv scoring, is harder. partially because of time constraints (have you ever composed half an hour of original music a week, and had to make sure it fits perfectly with every beat of what’s happening on screen? these guys have), partially because there’s a much larger focus on ensemble casts
so what atla and lok do, for the most part, is not score individual character motifs for everyone. this is fairly common in tv soundtracks, instead we score ideas, concepts, and feelings - these’ll come up a lot more and give you more information than just “oh hey this character’s on screen”
the avatar state, for example, has the strongest and most recognisable theme across both shows. i’m linking an atla track in here because it has the best example but you’ll know this shows up with korra too - and with particularly important moments for wan, for kyoshi, etc. they also appear in the opening of both shows, four strong notes that start and end on the same note (in the case of what i’m linking, it’s an F#)
youtube
the first part of this track is the more uncertain, pensive theme that comes up when both avatars are feeling doubt/worry/sadness, but then it transitions into the more recognisable four. worth noting though, those are both basically the same motif. if i write them out back to back, you’ll notice they both have four notes and start and end on F#. if i had to guess, four notes four elements, and it comes back to the start because the avatar is a cycle.
korra has a theme for when she’s fighting, but not an individual character theme. the airbenders as a concept have a theme, republic city has thematic instruments, as do some big name characters, like iroh and his tsungi horn (this is also a cross-series thing, he’s always playing it in atla, it shows up when zuko has to make big moral decisions, and when we first meet iroh in the spirit world in lok, it shows up there too, to let the audience know who this is before we properly see him)
so, if korra doesn’t get a single theme and instead has several for different aspects of her life, and mako and asami follow along with the mood of the story like all the other characters, the fact that bolin has a personal leitmotif at all, let alone a solid, developing one, is pretty remarkable!
now, granted, it mostly starts with book 3, before then he was like every other character, but it has clear symbolism through those last two books! and, initially i thought it was related only to his lavabending, since that’s most of when it shows up, but since my rewatch, i’ve started calling it his hero theme
see, when people wanna criticise mako and bolin, usually the comments they get are that bolin’s too immature and mako’s too serious/uptight. but like, that’s how they work, you can’t analyse either of them without the context of the other. since they were little kids on the streets, bolin chases his heart and mako makes sure they don’t die from it, that is their entire childhood. and neither would have got here on their own because mako wouldn’t take the necessary risks and bolin wouldn’t take the necessary precautions. (like. remove either one from the equation and they’d still be working for the triple threats bc s1 and their flashback miniseries make pretty clear that bolin got them out and mako kept them out)
and then book 2 proves it! because it splits team avatar up, and what happens? bolin is totally taken advantage of by varrick and used as a pawn in his evil plan and mako ends up in jail
so what’s book 3, to them? it’s, being able to find themselves without having that codependency. mako no longer has someone to protect, which is what he’s based his whole life around so far - bolin’s doing fine and he’s no longer dating either korra or asami. and bolin’s trying his hand at some of that responsibility (look at how he immediately adopts kai who is explicitly them but younger because he wants to be the older brother for once). most importantly, they find the rest of their family, and stop being defined by being orphans. they don’t have to be that singular piece of a puzzle, they can just be themselves. and that’s where bolin’s character really starts to shine, because that’s when they bring in the bending plot, and bending, perhaps more than any other character, really gets to the heart of who bolin is
if you want more of my thoughts on that i have an essay here, but tl;dr: bolin’s an extremely powerful earthbender, but he’s not a metalbender because metalbending requires you to double down on the earth characteristics and think like an earthbender, and bolin doesn’t, he’s too fluid for that, which is one of his major strengths, so of course he can lavabend
and finally - to his motif itself! (as a note, i’ve put all of these in the same key to show where it repeats, but there’s a variety of keys used in the show)
as far as i can find, it first shows up in s3e8, when bolin stuns p’li with this well placed shot
[Edit: it first showed up in the s2 finale, but again in a simplified version and again with him doing something heroic with earthbending, so we can still start the analysis here]
mako volunteers bolin for that job, because he knew bolin was capable of it. why? because bolin landed an identical shot earlier in the episode, after trying to metalbend, getting frustrated he can’t, and cheating with some extremely well aimed earthbending. it’s just a short refrain and you barely notice it, but it’s the first connection of this motif with the theme of bolin’s bending
it looks like this, and it’s always played on a trumpet, which is part of why i call it the hero theme, because, if you’re looking at music from a western perspective, trumpets were used to herald kings, and then used to represent military glory, and then when superhero themes started happening, they used trumpets too - it’s basically western music shorthand for hero these days
(it’s also symmetrical so that helps with the good vibes)
and he’s saving everyone here, so it’s linked to his bending, but it’s also linked to his heroism
it ties the two together, and they are tied together.
when’s the next time it shows up? episode 10, when the brothers are in prison in ba sing se, and bolin tries to metalbend them out. again, he’s doing this to save people, and this motif gets a few notes added on to the end in a raising pattern - they’re inspiring, but they don’t go anywhere. which is exactly what happens in the scene, because he’s trying to go about this in the wrong way. mako believes in him, but it won’t (and doesn’t) work
it appears in episode 12 when bolin saves everyone from ghazan destroying the temple, in a more fancy orchestral remake of the first version - it’s impressive, but it hasn’t actually developed yet, it’s just his discovery of it
the book 3 finale already has its own fucking amazing soundtrack, i love that entire episode’s score, but it gets its own moment there too, and the first real development!
because what we hear is not what we’ve heard before. we know it’s the same theme, because it’s using those signature trumpets, but it’s the second part of this phrase, the answer to the question supplied by the first one. why? because bolin’s figured out who he is and he’s starting to use it. it still hasn’t settled yet though, it’s early days and he’s still just turning ghazan’s lava back on him, so again, it raises, leaving it on a question mark
it doesn’t appear in s4e7 when he lavabends as a warning against the escaped prisoners, because he’s using it as a threat, not to help people. but it does later in the episode when he uses lavabending to save them from kuvira. and that’s when we get the first full phrase, question and answer
it keeps the first motif identical, takes out the first note of the second, and ties them together - except now it’s not open ended, now it knows where it’s going - it’s been three years, at this point bolin is confident in both himself and his bending
and then that phrase appears all over the place in the finale, because all bolin does is save people - everyone from the exploding building, he slows the giant mecha with lavabending, he saves opal, he slows the giant mecha again by collapsing a building on it, and most importantly, he’s the one rescuing his brother this time, instead of the other way around (though that one doesn’t get a motif appearance bc admittedly a fuck ton of other things are happening in the soundtrack at the time)
so to that question asked in book three - who is bolin when not next to someone else? well, funnily enough, we saw it in book two as well, just in a warped way, playing nuktuk. it just wasn’t truly him because it was created by varrick, and he needed to get away from varrick too. the question put forward by the narrative is who is bolin, and the answer given by the music is, he is a hero. and i don’t know why bolin is the only one to get a theme like this, but i think it may have something to do with the fact that, while everyone in team avatar has been a hero and saved people, he is the only one who has, from the start, solely been motivated by wanting to help people. he follows his heart, and his heart cares, about everyone. it’s been the driving force behind almost everything he’s ever done. and i love him so much
#so yeah those are my thoughts on bolin go forth and cry with me about five notes on a trumpet#legend of korra#lok#bolin#music
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whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)
this is a great question!!
if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing
for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works
slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits
and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.
(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)
as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.
right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.
but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!
ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:
[SIERRA]
MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.
Chef: hey!
Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married
Sierra: …can we just turn it off please
[COURTNEY]
DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—
MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?
ZARINA: And kick ass!
DAD: Zarina!
Video cuts out.
Alejandro: courtney you good?
Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter
Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]
[ALEJANDRO]
MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.
DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.
JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]
Alejandro: callate!
MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.
DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.
[NOAH]
MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!
ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!
RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]
MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?
Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—
ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!
LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.
BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding
ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!
JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.
Noah: [frozen, ashamed]
Sierra: well that was a mess
Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]
Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…
Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv
Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane
Chef: oh fuck
Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom
Everyone: …
Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems
Everyone: yeah ok sounds good
***
Courtney: so that sucked
Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok
Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like
Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx
***
Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you
Noah: yep
Alejandro: why?
Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified
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better off running wild
summary: college au. reader is supposed to be tutoring tony, but things get carried away.
words: 3,360
warnings: make out session
tags: @stanathanxoox @pageofultron @jrenn10 @andreasworlsboring101 @dressed-up-just-like-z1ggy @ms-allenbrown @ikbenplant @dylpickles1267 @diaryofafan17 @specialagentlokitty
There’s just something you’ve always hated about jocks.
Most of them were alright, admittedly. Those who mostly kept to their own giant friend circles and didn’t pay you much attention. There’s even a basketball player in one of your classes who gave you part of his lunch during lecture, which was pretty cool.
But the sentiment of disliking jocks, while cliche, is never so prominent than on Wednesday afternoons.
“Hurry up, Slowpoke. I got practice at four.” Tony’s broad chest is pressing against your shoulder, pushing himself into your space. All it earns him is an elbow to the gut, and the sound of him grunting is strangely satisfying.
“I can only write so fast,” you snap back to him. With a huff, you continue to scribble your name down on the library’s guest sheet. Once upon a time, you had a peacefully available Wednesday afternoon schedule. Sometimes, you’d go to the coffee shop to study and work. Other times, you might just head back to your dorm and catch a quick nap.
Nowadays, because Professor Gibbs decided you were the best for the job, you get to hang out in the library tutoring Tony DiNozzo.
As if the Professor couldn't have paired you off with anybody less annoying, less eager to actually learn, or any more inclined not to run off at the mouth about his favorite movie that you’ve never even heard of before. And sure, Tony was hot. Jaw-droppingly gorgeous with big shoulders and a great smile and nice hair and somehow, that all just made him even more annoying because he knew he was a 12 out of 10.
Case in point, when you finally step away so he could sign his name, Tony smiled and winked. Probably a reflex for him to flirt with anything that moved or whatever. You’ve been dealing with it for weeks.
So with a cross huff, you turn and walk off in the direction of your usual table.
The table is located at the very back of the library - a stuffy little corner nobody came around or even acknowledged and it’s worked wonders for Tony’s attention span. Out among the other tables, he just got too distracted - flagging down and talking to whichever one of a thousand friends he has, or attempting to chat up some poor girl who was trying to study.
It’s sad, really, that you have to tuck him away in some dusty corner for Tony to focus, but it's where you are now.
By the time Tony shows up, you have all the books and papers laid out on the table for the tutoring session. “Did you do the homework last night?” You ask him without even looking up.
He’s quiet for a moment, slowly making his way around you to his own seat. “I did some of it,” Tony answers eventually.
“Some?”
“Yeah. I had a party to go to. Couldn’t finish it.”
Tony plops down in his chair, tilts his head up, and puts on that familiar glamorizing smile - probably hoping it would keep you from scolding him. Maybe before, that smile might’ve weakened you a bit. Not now, though. Not after dealing with his bullshit for nearly two months every single Wednesday afternoon.
You sit with a deadpan frown. “So a party is more important than your grades, huh?”
Tony blinks and shrugs. “Well, this party was. You really should come along to one, sometime. Have some actual fun.”
This isn’t the first time Tony had tried persuading you into attending one of his dumb parties. Or even wanted to drag you along to his football games under the guise of it being fun and ‘the college experience.’ There was even a time where he called you in the middle of the night and asked if you wanted to go get drinks with him. As if you hadn’t been cramming all night for an exam.
Frustrating and irresponsible. How Tony DiNozzo even got into this school, you’ll never understand.
“Let’s just work, okay? The test is this Friday and I doubt you’re prepared.”
He shrugs and, shockingly, doesn’t argue. And for the next hour or so, you talk him through his half-finished homework. But this was probably the most frustrating aspect about tutoring Tony - he wasn’t stupid. Not by a long shot. He understood the work and actually got the questions right, if he tried. He could easily pass the class on his own.
Yet, you’re left tutoring him.
Once the homework is done, Tony slams his book shut with a smug smile. “Alright, Teach, I’m done. Am I free to go?”
You shake your head and bend over to reach for something in your backpack. “Not yet,” you answer him. “I went by Professor Gibbs’ office yesterday and picked something up that will help you on the test.”
Taking out a small packet of papers, you place it in front of Tony. He studies it, eyebrows furrowed together, until you speak up. “It’s a practice test for the exam. I was thinking you could take it, I’ll grade it, and we’ll see what you need to work on.”
Immediately, Tony lets out a loud groan - much too loud for a library, but really, you two were so far removed from everybody else that you doubt anybody even heard. Still, you glance around at the dusty bookshelves before roughly shoving Tony’s shoulder. “Don’t be a baby! I’m trying to help you pass this fucking class. Do I have to remind you that if you fail, you don’t get to play football? I’m doing you a favor by tutoring you - the least you can do is try.”
The rant just spilled out without anything to keep it back. Maybe Tony’s antics had slowly chipped away at your patience.
And for once, he was quiet. Tony blinks his surprise at your tone, his gaze drops, and then he nods. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, I’ll do the test.” Resigned, he pulls the packet closer and starts working. Really working.
You’re left in shock that you just won so easily. Usually, Tony attempts to shrug you off, or he changes the subject, or just tries to flirt his way out. Seeing him actually working - trying - is a strange sight to see.
As the minutes tick by, you try to keep yourself busy as Tony works. Go on your phone, do some reading, go to the bathroom. But in the end, your focus just keeps shifting back to Tony - his eyes sharp with focus, and the furrow of his brow showcases just how much he’s paying attention to the practice test.
But it’s not all you notice.
And….alright, you aren’t blind. You’re well aware that Tony looks good; how else does he get so many dates? You notice the way his jaw clenches tight. Every once in a while, he takes a deep breath and his whole body moves and you’re reminded of just how big his shoulders are. He must be one hell of a football player - not that you’d know. You’ve never gone to his games.
He’s got a cute nose, as well. Not that you’d ever tell him that.
And suddenly, before you could realize you were staring, Tony’s eyes meet yours. Flustered, you look away - but even out of the corner of your eye, his smirk is visible. “I’m done,” he says, handing over the packet.
But as you go to take it, Tony pulls it just out of your reach. So you look back to him, and he’s watching you in that annoying Tony DiNozzo way. Like he’s finally figured you out. “I want a wager, though,” he continues.
“A wager,” you repeat.
“Yup. If I pass, I get to kiss you. Is that a deal?”
Kiss?
The word barely makes sense to you, right now. You’re left blinking and scoffing - a buffer to try to make sense of Tony’s words until finally, you can come up with actual words to say. “What if you failed?” Oh yes, brilliant; act like you’re going to go along with his stupid wager. That’s what you want.
Tony’s smirk widens. “If I failed, I’ll walk back to my dorm in my underwear,” he announces. “Either way, you win.”
You ignore the sudden onslaught of butterflies and yank the packet out of his hands. “Fine. Deal. Maybe if I’m lucky, it'll be raining when we leave.”
Tony simply hums, unbothered by your insinuation that he’ll lose. And as you start grading the practice test, you can feel his eyes on you. It’s hard to focus and with a rush of heat, you realize that he must’ve felt you staring at him before. And your staring had been a complete accident - Tony is purposefully watching you. And you just pray that he doesn’t notice the new flush of your skin.
Instead, you force yourself to focus on Tony’s test. Something easier for you to understand.
7) When did the Minoan Civilization end?
Tony’s answer: The Bronze Age Collapse.
Okay, that one is correct. Fair enough, it’s not even that hard of a question. Next one:
8) The City of Rome was founded in:
Okay, he’s got to get this one wrong. In all the time you’ve been tutoring Tony, there was one kind of date you knew he was terrible with, and it was the historical kind.
His answer: 753 BC.
Damn.
And it just kept going on like that. More correct answers than incorrect. Even when you finished grading his test, you didn’t want to look up and face him and admit that he totally passed the practice exam with flying colors. That would also mean confessing that he won his stupid little wager.
“How’d I do?” He eventually asks. And his voice is low; very different from his annoyingly loud and boisterous self that you can’t help but look up.
He’s watching you carefully, like you have his undivided attention. It’s a little unnerving, but at the same time, maybe a little exhilarating. And you don’t even have the mind to wonder why.
And it takes a moment to remember how to speak. “You passed,” you tell him, matching his soft tone. Perhaps if Tony were acting normal, you would’ve added on a teasing comment. Something about him getting a good score against all the odds, or maybe comparing him to the second coming of Albert Einstein. Then Tony would say something equally stupid and he’d leave because he has his precious football practice.
None of that happens - this is uncharted territory.
He hums again, slow and purposeful, as if he’s thinking. And you notice him lean over just a little, on the very outskirts of what’s considered your own personal space. You catch a whiff of his scent and almost catch yourself leaning away from him.
Is this why Tony is so popular? Because he has his own gravitational pull? That must be it.
“Looks like I won the wager,” he says with a smirk pulling on his lips. “I believe you owe me a kiss.”
His words make you hesitate. Was he serious? Tony DiNozzo: football star, annoying heart throb, everybody’s friend….actually wanted to kiss you? It has to be some kind of dumb joke. A sick prank. Something to tell his friends later on that he scammed you into kissing him and all he had to do was stop playing dumb.
Immediately, it becomes easier to lean away from Tony. To break out of the spell that his eyes had somehow cast onto you. His expression changes, but you ignore it. “Did you plan this?”
“Plan what?”
“Making a stupid bet to get me to kiss you. It’s a joke, isn’t it? A prank that you and your dumb football buddies thought up? Well, it’s not very damn funny.”
You don’t even attempt to hide the anger in your voice. Tony’s eyebrows furrow together, looking confused but you ignore him to start hurriedly gathering your stuff up. You’ll just have to go to Professor Gibbs tomorrow and ask him to assign a new tutor for Tony - if he even needs one. Seems like he can manage himself just fine.
You’re stuffing a textbook into your bag while Tony juggles with his words. “What? Hey- hold on, it’s wasn’t a joke or anything-”
“Right. And you just want me to kiss you.”
“What if I do?”
Immediately, your eyes whip back around to face Tony. The way he straightens up does offer a tiny bit of satisfaction, admittedly. “You don’t, Tony. And that’s fine, I don’t really care. I’m sure you can find someone else to kiss if you really wanted to,” you tell him blatantly.
“I know I can,” fucking typical, “but I want it to be you.”
Slowly, you cease packing up your things. The next time you look at Tony, you really look at him. He looks serious enough; though, you’re not even sure if you’ve ever seen a serious Tony DiNozzo. But you reckon this might be it. And if he’s being serious, maybe he’s being honest.
“Did you even really need a tutor?”
He shrugs, and a smirk falls on his lips. Not condescending, but almost like your question amused him. You’re not sure which is worse. “Maybe not. But hey, you make history a whole lot more interesting,” he answers, voice smooth and sounding like the regular Tony that you know.
It makes you scoff lightly. Eyes breaking away, but he tilts his head to keep the contact. “Listen, you don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to. But I think you do. And I know I want to, so…”
You finally stop and think about things. The way he lured you into tutoring him was very....clever, in a way. Putting himself in your domain instead of dragging you kicking and screaming into his. Tony is definitely a lot smarter than he lets on, and it leaves you wondering how the hell you let him get the edge on you, like this.
But he was also right - you did want to kiss him. Desperately. And you didn’t even really know it until just now. Looking at him, your eyes drop down to his smirking lips. And as he starts to lean in closer, you don’t pull away like last time. Once again, you’re caught up in his gravity. Being pulled in helplessly, as if he’s a massive blackhole in the middle of your solar system.
Tony’s close now, so you fight to grab onto any sense of logical thought. “Tony,” you murmur out his name. He hums in response. “I don’t wanna turn out like all your other dates. You show ‘em a good time, and then never call them again.” You watch his eyes flicker up in surprise. “I know about all that.”
He hesitates, and then huffs in amusement. “‘Course I’ll call you. Gonna need help on that final exam, aren’t I?”
Another dumb joke, but you’re not too focused on dissecting the implications of his words. He’s so close, you can smell his cologne. It’s a little strong but also dizzying and once his warm breath wafts over your lips, you can’t help but let your eyes fall shut. A silent invitation that Tony gladly accepts.
His lips are warm and wet against yours, and they feel like fireworks.
Yes, the thought of Tony’s many dates and flings had made you a little wary. But right now, you’re thankful for each and every one of them. The way Tony kisses...it just melts the world away. No more dusty bookshelves or crappy library lights. No hushed laughter from a group of girls that you’ve been hearing for the past hour. This corner of the library is a tiny world that only you and Tony inhabit, if for a short time.
He’s steadily stoking a fire in your stomach, even if he doesn’t know it. It gets stronger when Tony hums against your lips and raises a hand to fit along your cheek - his palm is big and warm and the feel of it nearly makes you shiver.
And then Tony laughs, and you wonder if you really did shiver.
But the detour was brief - he goes right back to kissing you good. Sucking on your bottom lip for a moment, stops, and then waits for you to want more from him. You don’t even know when your fingers found their way into his hair, but Tony groans a bit. The sound of him goes straight to the pit of your gut.
His lips are relentless. Barely giving you a chance to breathe and by the time you notice his hand has vanished from your cheek, your lungs are aching slightly. And before you can wonder too much, the hand is suddenly on your thigh.
The touch was unexpected. Shocking, even, but definitely not unpleasant. His hand is large and strong and when he squeezes the flesh of your thigh, you can’t help but moan just a little against Tony’s mouth. The moan, of course, was completely accidental and it sends a hot wave up into your face because you know he heard that.
But he seemed to like it. Tony’s grinning, and his hand squeezes your thigh again. Maybe it wasn’t all too embarrassing. “I like the way you sound,” he rumbles out. When he comes in to kiss you again, his hands slowly slides up. Just an inch, but it feels like a mile and you’re trying really hard not to start writhing under his touch. “Like the way you taste, too.”
Fuck, he can’t be talking right now. Not when his kisses and his touches are already doing so much to turn your body into putty in his hands. Everything’s hot and burning when he moves his fingers up another half-inch, dangerously close to the sensitive part of your inner thigh.
By now, you’re nearly panting. Fingers gripping Tony’s forearm so tight, you’re surprised it hasn’t hurt him. What’s worse, you don’t even know why you’re holding onto him or what you want him to do: stop, or keep going. Evidently, Tony’s in the same boat. Because he leans in real close, his breath wafting over your ear. “What’re you thinking? Wanna see how quiet you can be?” He asks, voice lowered to a harsh whisper.
You force your brain to start working, and you try to decide. You really, really try. But the choice is stolen from you.
“Hey, this is a library. Get some space between you two!”
Of fucking course the librarian picks this time to come around to this desolate little corner.
Instantly, you shove Tony away, eyes dropping away from him and the librarian. “Sorry,” Tony says, not sounding particularly apologetic. Eventually, the librarian walks off. And his entire focus is back on you. And for a moment, you wonder if he's about to start up where he left off. Or maybe ask if you’d want to go back to his dorm. You don’t even know what your answer would be - yes? No? Can you have both at once?
“Tony-”
“I got practice,” he cuts in. His smile is back as he leans in for another quick kiss. But Tony doesn’t back away too fast. He stays, and when he speaks, his breath is on your lips once again - something so small, but already so addicting. “You really should come to one of my parties sometime. I think you’d have a lot of fun.”
With that, he straightens up, picks his backpack off the ground, and walks off. Once he’s disappeared behind the bookshelves, you’re left alone at the table. Surrounded by books and papers and still finding it hard to breathe.
Were you still going to ask Professor Gibbs for a new tutor? Maybe not.
Was your decision entirely influenced by Tony and his lips and the warm imprint of his hand on your thigh? It’s possible.
But as you continue to gather up your supplies - hands shaky and legs a little wobbly - you can’t stop thinking about what might have happened if the librarian hadn’t walked up when he did.
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well, i guess sappy posts are better late than never. i can’t believe i’ve only been on anime tumblr for 8 months and writing for 6. it’s crazy how influential my time here has been on me and the relationships i’ve fostered. i guess this is also my thank you for 2.5k because i hit that recently. im so thankful and grateful you have let me create a nice lil coffeeshop in my own corner of tumblr. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, (ok maybe some things but not many). I will be disgustingly sappy and in love with people under the cut. beware of cavities from the sweetness.
@heauxzenji god you are really the love of my mf life. i talk to you more than i talk to my irl bestfriends and i live with them. i’m glad i can wake you up with horny thoughts everyday but its kinda homophobic that you are three hours behind me. manifesting that this year we get to see each other so our gay horny love can be actualized.
@sugardaddykenma lin you are simultaneously my love and my aunt and i wouldn’t have it any other way. please send me more snaps of you screaming because the really make me laugh. im happy we are genuine friends and i care about you so much. will flee to canada on a moments notice, on your beck and call my love.
@satendou spencer you are my wife and live teasingly close to me. i’m so happy i got drunk that one night and you messaged me because i was way too nervous to message you even though i wanted to. you are fantastic and oneday we will both not be ghosts and really catch up. i love you regardless.
@keijiskitten laura. my baby kitty lauwa. please come be my irl catgirl i will buy the nicest collars. you are so so sweet and genuine and im blessed to have oun in my life. sometimes royal!au sneaks into my head when im doing other stuff just so you know that you have fully ruined me as a person but i love it.
@crushzone nin. my god you are the sweetest person on this godforsaken website. every interaction i’ve ever had with you has been nothing less than wonderful. thank you for being horny w me and drawing the cutest fucking photo of me and shinkami ever. now watch mha so we can talk about aizawa,
@sgwrscrsh skye baby girl. mwah. a kiss. thank you for reminding me ao3 exists all those months ago when you sent me in another life. you have ruined me as a person but i sent you that monster fic so maybe we are even. i love you. thank you for the christmas gift i loved it SO much.
@cno-inbminor kay. quick friends bc we are same person and i love u. please stream urr next baking session it makes me happy. also townes!sakusa. just a reminder so you can think about that sweater.
@samuslut wing we haven’t talked too much but i just want you to know i love you so much and admire your work and world building. you are a fantastic writer and a great person
@stallionissei miss cas!! we aren’t the closest but talking to you is literally always a pleasure and i love it. i hope your move is going ok and you all get settled down soon! lets talk soon!
@lesbians4yaku joy. my first love. you were one of my first friends on tumblr and im ever thankful for that. i care about you so so so much. just seeing your name and you exist makes me smile. we should talk about more evolutions soon because that was very very fun. enjoy your nips and this kiss im sending u *mwah*
to everyone in tumblr babies, i’m so glad i was there in the start of my journey. its such a safe and fun space. thank you for letting me tease *people* about glasses fetishes and just go buck wild in the thirst chats. thank you for voting me horniest member <3 @ceo-of-daichi @hqsoftboysupremecy @scorpiosanssexy @nonexistent-social-life
to my fellow gravediggers and funeral home employees. yes ive been in the server for like 3 months and yes i am already 8th in rank, no i don’t know how to shut up. thanks for dealing with me. You are my favorite home and i want to cook all you a meal and pet the babies. @xakusa @lumos-flies @tsumue @iwaasfairy @sasa-writes-fandom-things @sweet-sugu @keijiiszn
god, to all of my other mutuals i love you so much and you are all badass. i would fight the horny police and whatever 12 year old kids are in your inbox for all of you. you are all immensely talented and i still wonder why some of you follow me. thank you for every single reblog, comment, advice or like you’ve given me bc it shoots serotonin directly into my heart. which isn’t how its supposed to work but feels nice anyways.
@undermattsun @onefortyninecm @rat-suki @bakatenshii @godjo @dxddykeiji @saetyrn9 @introloves @pomsuki @lookslikeleese @tetsou @whats-her-quirk @blahkugo @dearsakusa @sugawarakoushihoe @stonersugawara @koutarouthighs @prettysetterbaby @heyhinata @seita @present-mel.
im going to stop tagging because m tumblr has crashed four times and im already close to max and i really really don’t want to type this out again. thank you to every person who has supported me and i can’t wait to see where this year leads us.
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Fic Writer Questions!
tagged by @palamedessextus 😊 thanks friend!
1) How many works do you have on AO3?
64! only five more to the magic number ayyyyy and then i’m legally obligated to never post another one.
2) What’s your total AO3 word count?
289,575 apparently??? which seems way way way higher than i ever would have guessed, wow. who knew!
3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
31 on ao3, although that’s lumping, eg, all marvel subfandoms together. but i have a ridiculous amount of wips in all kinds of other fandoms that i haven’t/won’t post, soooo.... more than that! and i don’t want to list them all bc that’d be a long boring read!
4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
it serenely disdains to destroy us, a magnus archives fic that, i somewhat vainly note, has been orbiting in the top few top kudosed fics in the tag since i posted it womp womp.
concerning flight, because we all thirsty for thor/loki+gender and i for one support us.
untitled porny snippet (yes that’s actually what it’s called), because same as above. (i see u, kudos-to-comment ratio and i aint mad but.... i see u. all you dirty birds out there shamefully yet silently jerking it. kudos to YOU.)
an experiment in posthumous subsistence, a batman/joker zombie au i wrote fucking TEN YEARS AGO ALMOST. why???? why is this fic so popular?? i’m barely a good writer now and i sure as shit wasn’t one a decade ago! the terrible title alone should disqualify it from being read, but i guess the people want what they want. and what they want is batman and joker handcuffed together, trying to escape the zombie apocalypse ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
all good things, some stucky hydra trash party-adjacent smut regarding piercings. i stand by this one 100%, it deserves every kudo(s?) tbh.
5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
i do, depending on the comment! i don’t think comments like “loved this!” / “thanks for writing!” are written with the intent to receive a response (or at least, when i write them on other people’s fics, i certainly don’t expect one). they’re like an extra kudo(s?), and i appreciate them a lot, but they’re not really an invitation to Discuss. whereas if someone clearly has put a lot of thought into a comment, or asked a question, or made some observations that i jive with, or just seems like they want to engage, then hell yeah i jump in there. love that shit.
6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i guess arguably thine own self, which is some hydra husbands abo. laugh all you want, it’s one of my fave of all my fics lmao. probably specifically bc of the unpleasant/open ending.
7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
probably moderation is a memory! since it, unlike 99% of all my other stuff, isn’t just total smut, and the whole point of writing it was to wallow as deep as possible in the sauce of giddy teenage infatuation, it got the opportunity to have an actual emotional arc (more or less). furthermore i could not possibly bring myself to break johnny lawrence’s tender little heart ever, that would hurt me far more than it would hurt him.
8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
i only realised while answering this question that apparently.... no i don’t write crossovers! which is not at all a deliberate choice, i guess a compelling enough one just hasn’t occurred to me yet!
9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?
shockingly no! by some accidental miracle i’ve managed to fly under the radar so far, despite some of the really buckwild stuff i’ve posted. however, considering some of the stuff i’m probably ABOUT to post.... that clean track record might soon come to an end lmao.
10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
lmao. uhhhh. almost exclusively, and i guess??? all kinds? this is clearly a question composed by someone who does not write smut.
11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of, and i wouldn’t really care if i did.
12) Have you ever had a fic translated?
yeah i think a few....? a number of people have asked anyway and i always say yes, so probably there’s at least one floating around out there somewhere.
13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?
i have! just once, and we really made it count. it’s called a reptile dysfunction, which should tell you all you need to know.
14) What’s your all time favorite ship?
thorki, probably. i always have and always will come back to it, no matter what. it’s got such a ferociously timeless staying power and so much potential variation, i don’t think i could ever get bored of it, regardless of what level of marvel-exhaustion i might feel at a given time, or what tropes, kinks, or stage of literary pretension i’m at. truly the oh tee pee.
15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
ohhhhh all 836575927 of them, but. there’s this one thorki fic i started almost ten years ago as an experiment with a new-to-me style, which turned out over the intervening years to become my main style, and looking back on that fic, which for many years was a touchstone of writing-to-aspire to for me, it’s actually Not Very Good lol. but i still love the core concept, which is a canon divergence berserker thor au, but not only is it a somewhat inaccessible (admittedly less so since the deadpool movies came out, which was a hilarious pipe dream back when i started writing it) x-force comics crossover, but i wrote myself into a bunch of corners and have yet to dig up the energy to write myself back out of them! i go and reread it every year or so and think “hmm... maybe now...” but tbh it’s just not really good enough to bother! perhaps someday i’ll repurpose the best elements of it into something new.
16) What are your writing strengths?
man, it’s so hard to say. in much the same way that you can spend hours every day staring at yourself in a mirror, yet be utterly incapable of picking yourself out of a lineup, i spend a lot of time eyeballing my writing, but stepping back it seems like a chaotic mass of nonsense with few cohesive throughlines. i’m good at writing smut, i know that much! and in that vein, i think i am good at smut bc i am very good at committing to the bit, as it were. getting into the nitty gritty of experience and sensation (physical or emotional) and rendering largely abstract internal concepts in fairly comprehensible ways. i think my prose is quite decent on a sentence level too.
17) What are your writing weaknesses?
utterly incapable of finishing anything! or plotting anything! can’t mange a cohesive emotional arc! write myself into overly structured corners or out onto a vast plain with no structure in sight! all the macro elements of storytelling totally elude me, which is very frustrating when i have all this tasty fleshed out micro-level character stuff, but no narrative skeleton upon which to drape it.
18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
don’t! unless you are very sure you know what you’re doing, and the other language bits are a) very few, b) easily contextually understood, and c) actually adding something other than a weird flex that you know google translate exists.
19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?
11yo me wrote spock/kirk/janice rand and thought she invented the concept of a threesome. brand been stronk since day one 🤘. (the vulcan salute is right next to the devil horns in my emoji list, so....)
20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
i love the (ongoing) better with you series very much, not least because i’m still absolutely flabbergasted that i wrote something that long. i think it’s actually pretty good all things considered and it’s very dear to me on many many levels. but the fic that i just viscerally adore, that i love the style of, and that i had such a transcendent, invigorating, organic Experience writing, is temper its strength, adding honey until quite cold, which is a terror fic with the inexplicable pairing of edward little/hartnell, featuring crossdressing and gender stuff. it just burst out of me fully formed one day and i don’t think i’ve managed to top it yet!
lowkey tagging @lingua-mortua @pitcherplant @kaasknot @froggy-babyy @deputychairman @nomercyonlytears @clockheartedcrocodile
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