#but nothing about being upset that your friend almost died twice is romance specific | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aggressive-positivity-network · 3 years

Note

Okay, so you said I could send an ask for headcanons about the childhoods of some specific merc(s)... I think I would really like to read your headcanons about Soldier’s and Engineer’s childhood :)

Thanks in advance and I hope your well.

Ooooh…I’ve been waiting for this! And thank you for being specific and not just saying “the rest of them.” Sometimes I get overwhelmed with nine specific mercs to write for. Your specifics are much appreciated.

****************

Soldier:

Soldier doesn’t talk very much about his childhood - whether it’s because something happened or he just doesn’t remember it, no one can tell. It’s nowhere in his file, either…he refused to do anything except tell fantastic tales of a fictional youth.

However, in a rare streak of almost lucidity, he spouted off the entirety of his younger years, much to the team’s surprise. Usually, if anyone asked directly, he changed the subject.

But now he described everything in vivid detail. And, with a bit of research from Miss Pauling, everything fell into place.

Apparently he had been born in a small military town in Georgia. His father was overseas, leaving he and his mother alone in their small yellow house.

In order to make ends meet, his mother worked at a nearby factory, mostly leaving Soldier to fend for himself and the house.

“Can you be a big, strong soldier like daddy for me?”

Soldier would always agree, finding his own food, his own entertainment, and his own friends. No matter what happened, he never bothered his mom. If anything, his job was to protect her.

That’s why, when his stomach started hurting and his arms and legs ached, he said nothing about it.

When he forgot the chores he was supposed to do and even the names of his friends, he didn’t bring it up.

When he felt tired all the time and some days could barely get out of bed, he just chalked it up to laziness like his mother did.

It turns out the factory they were next to was polluting the water next to the house with dangerous amounts of lead, which soon overcame Soldier’s immune system of steel.

He could barely remember anything anymore, and he became more and more distraught every day. Sometimes he would forget where he was and run outside, then get lost in the woods, only coming back once he remembered where he was supposed to be.

Soldier began to wear one of his father’s old helmets after his mom commented on his red eyes and the dark circles around them. He didn’t want to worry her. Besides, it helped bring back a few memories if he ever got lost again.

Finally, it got to the point where he didn’t even remember his mother, or his promise to her. He began to wander farther and farther away from home.

One day, he didn’t come back at all.

Out in the world with not a single memory to his name, Soldier wandered far and wide. He usually slept in barns and old, abandoned houses, cut off from most people.

Occasionally, he would find a family that wanted to “raise him as their own,” only to turn him away after finding him too difficult to care for.

He had frequent nightmares, ate little due to his unresolved stomach issues, and could barely walk ten feet without forgetting where he was going.

If he accidentally wandered into the same house twice, he would be chased out with either a broom or a gun - usually the latter.

He became “the demon child” in some counties, and “g*psy kid” in others, due to his long, unkempt hair, hidden eyes, and odd habits.

It even got to the point where Soldier couldn’t sleep on anyone’s property because he would be actively fought off like a wolf or a bear.

His only pleasure was an old movie theater that, as he recovered from his lead poisoning, remembered the location of and frequently snuck into.

The only thing that played were romance movies - which, like many children, Soldier hated - and war movies, which he watched over and over again with starving eyes.

Because of these movies, a single memory from his mother’s house came to him. A woman, tall and muscular from hard labor, giving him a shiny badge to hold, asking him to be a strong soldier like his father.

And thus began his life-long dream of becoming a military officer.

He trained according to what he knew from the films…which was mostly running, doing jumping jacks, and occasionally rolling around in the mud.

This only served to distance him further from his fellow human beings, but he didn’t care. Soldier had a mission, and he was going to do it well.

But the biggest change was his hair.

He had started cutting it off with sharpened rocks, but he was always saving up coins he found for a “proper army cut.”

Finally, he had quite the collection in a dirty mason jar, and marched into the barber shop in his town to ask for a haircut.

The manager was appalled, and at first refused, but Soldier stood his ground.

“Civilian, I’ll have you know that by denying a soldier with a haircut, you are denying America one of its best fighters! I can’t curdle the enemy’s blood looking like a hippie!”

After a short yelling match that, of course, Soldier won, the manager decided it would be in his best interest to comply.

He walked out of that shop with no hair on his head, but a huge grin on his face. Next stop, the ranks.

Soldier went from draft office to draft office, applying for and being denied entrance to the army for his obvious lack of mental stability.

This is when the personal retelling ended, since Soldier became very upset by the memory of his recruitment failures, but Miss Pauling concluded that he just bounced from state to state until Mann Co. found him, quote, “sitting in an alleyway, eating army draft paperwork while sobbing uncontrollably.”

Engineer:

Engineer also never really talks about his childhood, but both Medic and Spy (Spy knows everything about everyone on the team) know that’s for a good reason.

He grew up in a trailer community near an almost ghost town in Texas.

His father was an abusive car mechanic with a mean streak a mile wide and a shop full of failed inventions. His mother wasn’t any better - she was bitter and reclusive, only really coming out of her room to pick a fight with her husband.

However, what Engie lacked in family, he more than made up for in friends.

He had a rag-tag, Rugrats-esque team of pals from all walks of life: Rhapsody, the daughter of a struggling porn star; Tom, the son of two farmers wiped out by blight; Cici, an adopted girl that could barely walk into her trailer without a black eye and a string of slurs; Quinn, the nervous child of a single mother that serves as guidance to the other kids; And Fred, who didn’t seem to have any family, but had become a greaser big brother to all of them.

Together, they explored the desert near the trailer park, pooled their resources to feed and support each other, and used their individual strengths to get through each day.

Engineer, whom everyone affectionately called “Big Dell,” snuck parts from his dad’s workshop for his own creations.

By the time he was twelve, he could make a small, running engine for the soapbox cars his friends frequently raced.

No toy, piece of clothing, glasses, or tool was out of his line of expertise.

One day, though, upon finding that some of his parts were missing, Engineer’s dad gave him a terrible beating that broke a few of his fingers and left a huge gash near his eye.

Since then, he refused to fix, make, or even touch a tool.

He wouldn’t tell anyone what happened, but they could make a pretty good guess, since they knew where the scraps and parts had come from.

The whole group was furious with Engineer’s dad - their Big Dell was funny, smart, and was more loving than every family member they had combined. Even Quinn was red in the face.

They wanted to break into his dad’s workshop and destroy all of his inventions, just to teach him a lesson, but they knew Engineer would take the fall for it.

Instead, they rummaged through trash cans, searched their toy chests, and looked under their trailers to find things Engineer could use.

They waited until his birthday to unveil the massive pile of supplies they had stowed away.

Engineer immediately dropped to his knees and began to cry, and everyone else dogpiled him for a huge hug.

As the creme de la creme, they gave him a pair of welding goggles - the same welding goggles he wears to this day, having modified them so they still fit his growing body.

With his healed fingers and renewed spirit, he made each of them a gift: a toy car for Rhapsody, a skull ring for Fred, a full set of candle wax crayons for Cici, a chewable necklace for Quinn so they wouldn’t chew on their collar, and a mini-planter for Tom.

But Engineer was given the greatest gift - confidence in his own abilities and that he can be and was appreciated for more than his services.

This gave him the drive to build bigger and better things, which his friends happily assisted in creating.

Engie’s best memories are with that motley crew of scrawny, beaten-up kids.

But, as he became a teenager, the abuse grew worse by the day.

He was often kept in his dad’s garage to fix cars in sweltering heat and with nothing to show for his work except threats of what would happen if a customer complained.

His mother finally grew bitter enough to pick on him, wondering aloud and pointedly if she had made a mistake by having him, then immediately contradict herself by wailing in his arms about how she’s the most awful mother in the world, and how she would be gone soon, and then nobody would have to deal with her anymore.

Engie grew more and more distant from his friends as they either moved out, ran away, or, in Rhapsody’s case, died.

He thought of just shutting the garage door and turning on a car a couple times, but he would always return to his memories of the hidden cave of goodies his friends had collected or the many inventions they had helped him build.

It just wasn’t worth it.

On a night when his depression and self-doubt was especially bad, he decided to build a personal invention for the first time in years - a small, robotic chicken made out of bent gears and empty oil cans.

He worked on it for a few weeks, but made the mistake of leaving it on a work table once it was finished.

Engie came to work the next morning with his dad ready to chew him out. But, before any finger could be lifted against his son, he was interrupted by a sweet older couple that was having their tires replaced.

“Now, Ethan, ain’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life?”

“Hm?”

“That there chicken statue over there! It looks like it could very well get up and start peckin’ for worms, don’tcha think?”

Engie looked at the couple, then at his dad, then at his chicken. He slowly lifted it from the table and turned the key.

It started to slowly lean forward, then took a few steps on it’s long, spring-loaded legs. The neck went down, and the chicken’s rusty beak began to scrape at the pavement.

Now he had the husband’s attention.

“Didja build that yourself, son, or did your daddy help ya?”

Engineer looked at his dad for a split second before answering.

“My own sweat ‘n blood, sir. My daddy says I should stop wastin’ time on ugly thing-a-ma-jigs an’ put my hands to somethin’ worth doin’.”

The man smiled. “Well, this ‘ugly thing-a-ma-jig’ shows real skill. We could use somebody like you, once we train you up a bit.”

“Now hold on a damn - !” his father interjected, but was silenced with a cold stare.

“We’ll put ya through a state-of-the-art school, then put ya straight inta the work force. You can build whatever you like…and you’ll have a lot better materials than rusty tin. Whaddaya say, son?”

Engineer just nodded, and the man grabbed his hand and shook it.

“We’ll keep in touch.”

Engineer left that trailer park at age seventeen, leaving his fuming father and drunken mother behind.

He only stopped to visit Rhapsody’s grave before embarking on his new life.

There is still a stone plate with a message carved into it next to the headstone. If you brush off the leaves and dig out the moss, you can see Engie’s parting words:

“A friendship with you and the rest of the gang is the greatest thing I ever built. -Big Dell”

#tf2 #tf2 fandom #tf2 ask blog #tf2 headcanon #tf2 headcanons #tf2 engineer #engineer tf2 #tf2 solly #send asks #ask blog #headcanon requests #lovely anon #thanks anon #thanks for the ask

87 notes · View notes

kaypeace21 · 4 years

Note

ignoring the fact that they sound like a married couple arguing, mike and will are also bickering over whether or not el and mike are still together. it was written in the script, rehearsed, performed, and kept in the final cut that will OUTRIGHT SAYS “she said she dumped your ass, that doesn’t sound like a break.” and max yells “it wasn’t!” :@;$:@/&$:&:??!?! they literally said they’re not endgame. they aren’t endgame.

i KNOW right! Based on the s4 movies I think things are reversed and it’s El who can’t accept they are broken up. A lot of films said to inspire s4 have ex gfs refuse to accept the break up -one even hits on her gay ex-bf ( ‘birdcage’ ). Similar scenario in ‘clueless’ with girl hinting on gay guy who just wants to be friends. Max in s3 having to correct El that Mike is her “ ex boyfriend” and Will saying “that doesn’t sound like a break”. And Max agreeing “it wasn’t!” is foreshadowing they never actually got back together. IT WASN’T A BREAK! But El may not accept this.

It’s similar, to the random telemarketing joke where they had Mike say on the phone “El, sorry not interested “ and hang up . It was foreshadowing.

In the films the exes constantly call . Mike telling El “i’ll call so often you’ll have to turn your walkie off” was also foreshadowing of what Mike will do to her in s4. Since ,he hung up on her in s3 when she called demanding to know where he was at 9:30 in the morning. In ‘swingers’ the guy name mike (whose friends call him ‘gay’) hangs up on his ex gf who wants to get back together . He hangs up on her so he can talk to his new love interest (Will) . Specifically, Hangs up on his ex as she says “I love-“. Then in ‘splash’ he breaks up with his gf on the phone and says “do I love you?well what about you?” To dodge the question (then yells at a family member ease dropping on the other line -Karen). And they break up on the phone. And he tells a friend later he never loved her.

2 movies the ex says they’ll get back together and their new relationships are “just phases” etc ( waynes world, high fidelity, dumb and dumber). Saying they’re still together when they aren’t (wayne’s world). Loads of movies had the crazy ex sabotage new relationships, call constantly, stalk, and flirt despite the exes discomfort and repeatedly saying it’s over (despite the ex not loving them and just be possessive and not wanting them with other people).

The exes are cray in the films (el stalking and never apologizing for spying. And mileven dancing to the song ‘every breath you take’ a song about a stalker ex who doesn’t take no for an answer -after their ex hooks up with their friend, wasn’t a coincidence). Along with El watching ‘days of our lives’ where she mimicked erica who was in a relationship with Mike roy. And it ended messy with one of them sabotaging their new relationship, stalking them, and claiming the stalking victim still loved them. (Although, they eventually accepted that wasn’t true).

El stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike said he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 (like the song) she stalks him after their breakup, and when he said not to do that she just says ‘i make my own rules’. I think s4 shows just how ‘un-cute’ this behavior can get.

I’ve already talked about that awkward kiss scene to death. But i think it indicates Mike assumes they’re broken up and el assumes they’re back together.

FIrst he LIED AGAIN (the cause of the breakup)- and pretended he didn’t confess to her at the end of s3. And never said “ I love you’ back! He even tries to take the words back and says about the prior love confession “ “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…” and starts to scratch his head and says everything he said at the cabin was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing…”

They even frame the scene right before the kiss strangely, making El look larger and imposing, as she approaches. Mike feels cornered (you the viewer subconsciously are supposed to feel claustraphobic/trapped/cornered/stuck along with Mike).

We see him furrow his brows (uncomfortable and confused ) when El initiates the romantic moment, saying “I love you too.”

And cue most awkward kiss in history- where he keeps his eyes open the whole time and doesn’t kiss back. (In Will’s room, mike in front of an open closet, as el holds Will’s s1 bear.)

During the kiss, the song ‘the first i love you ‘played. The only other time they played that song in s3, was when Robin rejects Steve’s romantic confession and she comes out as gay . Interesting choice for that awkward mileven kiss/confession shown later where El says she loves Mike (and mike keeps his eyes open, doesn’t kiss back or return the ‘I love you’). It’s foreshadowing of Mike rejecting El (in the future) cause he’s gay.

We even see El’s reaction first (happy, smiling and giddy). Assuming they’re back together. But then we blur the screen to see Mike’s opposing expression. He looks confused, bewildered and even furrows his brows again.

Then we see El initiating all the romantic stuff outside.El seems to be the one trying to make it romantic- like Mike hugging el and lucas with one arm identically (hand on their upper back), but El caresses his chest.

And as Mike stops the hug El shoves his head into hers (it actually looked like it hurt honestly XD)

the byler centric ending with the Hopper monologue reinforces this theme. Mike while looking at both cars driving away was thinking of Will . They show this by having Mike be sad as Will drives away (alone) twice as Mike sadly watches him leave- this was done to show that he’s actually upset the 2 later times where Will and El leave at the same time -because of Will. I showed it in one of my vids here, at 23:11

When we first see Mike during the Hopper monologue , it continues to pan to only Mike and Will (not El) cause what he says is mostly about them. “I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re pulling away from me or something” (Will does this both figuratively/literally). I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”. Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (he just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave without him) like how Will turned to watch Mike leave and hold hands with El (as the crew go up the hill without Will). “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. And I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”

It pans to both of them on “i don’t want things to change’ cause that’s how they both feel. Mike , ‘doesn’t want things things to change’. He doesn’t want their friendship to change as they ‘get older’ because he’d have to and acknowledge his feelings for Will are romantic and if he’s “being honest” that “scares” him (especially in rural 80s conservative-Indiana at the height of the aids epidemic). Why we see Mike trying to act like a adult while dating El, and Will trying to act like a kid- they’re both trying to escape growing up to be gay in different ways. Will reverting to childhood activities and saying he’ll ‘never fall in love’ (after his double date with lumax). And Mike trying to act like “old people’ saying “we’re not kids anymore... what did you expect that we’d never get girlfriends?” Cause he equates straight romance with being an adult and his feelings for Will as something he has to grow out of . Which he learns in the very end isn’t possible.

Right after that scene it switches from Will crying, to Mike entering his house. His face is visibly red from crying and he looks shocked (almost as if he realized something) before he hugs his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1.

And the dialogue in this scene says “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will are romantic. When things were simple. I think the last episode is when Mike truly realizes he’s been in love with Will this entire time and he can’t fix it and transfer his feelings for Will on to el (something he’s been trying to do all of s3). El said he loved him and he felt nothing-and he was heartbroken over Will leaving (not El). Which is why he just seems almost shocked/numb as he’s processing this fact. This whole scene only showed Mike and Will transitions- el was never there, cause Mike wasn’t upset over her.

In the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors the scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. In s1 the romantic/queer coded lyric from the song ‘We can be heroes’ plays as he hugs his mom “And we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.”. And during the s3 move (‘we can be heroes’) plays again! And David Bowie wrote this song and Jonathan even said to Will in his ‘being a freak is the best speech’ “who would you rather be friends with David bowie (a queer singer) or Kenny Roggers?”

It’s why finn wolfhard after s3 liked this byler pic. cause s3 was all about Will and Mike denying their feelings for each other.

Not to mention,After s1 Finn quoted the Duffers saying Mike thought of El as a “puppy’ (dart) or “et” , and then said Mileven was a “first summer love thing”- foreshadowing mileven’s downfall during the Summer (aka s3). He repeats this “first summer love” phrase 2x. Millie when he mentioned what the duffers said rightfully thought the puppy thing was “awful”, but Finn was clearly told mileven doesn’t last -very early on- and most likely the Duffers told him “it’s like a first summer love thing”.Summer love” by definition fails-as it only lasts during the summer.

#byler #byeler #anti mileven

310 notes · View notes

arcticwaters · 4 years

Text

So I was thinking about Yasha’s secret crush and I wondered if it was possible to narrow down and determine the moment where she fell for someone. Because I live for being able to see The Moment™ of a starting crush in romances. So I rewatched episodes 9, 10, 14 – 46 (I believe that’s when her first playlist dropped, after 46? I’m new.) And I paid close attention to Ashley when she was actually there, particularly when she was talking with someone to try and gauge her thoughts and read her expressions.

…Unsurprisingly given the improv nature of the show, as well as Yasha’s character in general, this is extremely hard to do, and we’ll never be able to know for sure until Ashley confirms it. So I don’t have the answer, but I do have some theories. Here’s my list of the most likely moments where Yasha first got a crush (and why I think it’s on Beau.) I’m gonna focus on these 34 episodes, but will use more recent ones as emphasis.

(Also I started this in June; this had nothing to do with the recent discussion of Beau maybe-catching-feelings for Yasha, tho yes, that is some immaculate shit.)

To start I’ll do some housekeeping and explain why I don’t think it’s any of the guys. (Aside from the fact that signs point to Yasha being gay, but I won’t at all count out the possibility of her being bi/pan. We won’t know until Ashley says.) Her playlist says “sometimes it’s hard to hold a stare. Even a conversation. It’s best to keep them at a distant though, she decides.” So these were the body languages I was looking for – which actually was kinda hard to narrow down because Yasha is already awkward and distant naturally, so there was a lot of “is this a crush, or her 7 charisma?” But in general Yasha isn’t that bad around the boys.

It’s not Molly. We know it wasn’t Molly. Ashley wouldn’t have phrased it like “Yasha’s gonna stick with Molly for now, but whoops, someone new is making her feel things” if it was.

She has no problem talking to Fjord or looking him in the eye. Their relationship is pretty surface level in those early arcs. There’s also a moment in a more recent episode where Yasha uses healing hands on him, and when Jester makes a - pretty icky - joke that she might grope him, Yasha gives a look and goes “not my thing.” If she did have a crush on Fjord this whole time she probably would have been more flustered. She seems to have no problem with Fjord/Jester as well.

Caleb…… She is actually really awkward and stilted around Caleb, but I feel this is likely more a result of their mutual “I don’t know how to people.” If we measure her crush by oh-man-this-is-awkward then Caleb is probably the most likely male, BUT, I’m going to stop thinking about this because if it ends up being true I would stop watching the show. I have to tell myself that it can’t possibly be Caleb to stop myself from becoming viscerally upset. (Iiiiiiii don’t like Caleb much. I don’t ship my faves with my leasts.) Plus,,, I dunno, I don’t think she would have encouraged him to act on his own mystery feelings if she liked him. That conversation probably would’ve just ended.

Not only had Yasha not known Caduceus long enough during these episodes for a crush to be likely (Ashley’s only there for like three episodes, one of which being their first meeting, and Yasha was pretty frosty to him) but the placement of the song in the list implies that the crush formed before Molly died. I probably could have stopped watching at ep26 for this but, eh, I like the pirate arc.

So that leaves Jester and Beau because let’s be real, it’s probably not Nott. (Aside from there being no romantic chemistry between them, we know that Yasha still has that crush and I find it unlikely that she, as a widow, would hold on to feelings to someone who is married with a child. Besides, pretty sure they all thought she was a kid herself in the early arcs.) I do not think it’s Jester, because honestly Yasha seems to like Fjord and Jester together, with moments like “Jester will probably hold your hand ;3” and Ashley being very concerned for Jester when his Avantika ship tease started. (And I could be biased because if they reveal that a FOURTH person has a crush on her I’m gonna revolt, they can’t all like her jesus fUCK two is one thing but FOUR?? it’s too much) BUT in the interest of fairness, cuz it is still very much possible, and I’m an “anything’s possible” kinda gal, I will list three moments that stuck out to me.

3) Episode 34: “We’re like a strong….. couple of women.” It’s the amazed tone she uses.

2) Episode 46: The talk about her past and the Zuala reveal. Both this, and the above, happened after Molly’s death which make them unlikely, but this one was the most significant character moment Yasha had had at this point, and she had it while talking primarily to Jester and that’s certainly nothing to sneeze at! But that’s also a point against it too, because not only does she have very little problem looking Jester in the eye and having a very long talk with her – and this goes for Caduceus too, tho he stayed mostly quiet – something that’s supposed to be hard for her to do when early feelings were evolving, but I kind of don’t think Yasha would form a crush on someone while in the same breath saying her lost love will always be hers. Before or after, sure, but not during. Frankly I don’t think this talk would have happened at all if feelings for either of them were involved. But I’m also not going to discount the importance of the moment.

1) I don’t remember the exact episode – it was during the harvest fest, so 17 or 18 – but at one point Jester says something nice to Yasha and Ashley specifically points out that Yasha starts blushing. Now given we know that Ashley was not looking for romance with Yasha early on, I feel like if this really was romantic, she would not have pointed it out, she more likely would’ve have Yasha quietly think about it. But,,, a blush is a blush, a pretty significant “oh” indicator, and I think it was the first time anyone had gotten a reaction like that out of Yasha. The timing works out too, that’s why I put it at one, over the Zuala talk.

(Sidebar, I didn’t watch episode 1 for this because I felt there’s no way Yasha got a crush on anyone that early, but wouldn’t it have been fucking hilarious if Ashley was like “my character is a widow and is not looking at all………… Failed step one.” Edit from a week after posting this: I also didn’t watch episode 4, because I honestly completely forgot Yasha was even in that. So there could be some character things I missed, but like with ep1, I find it unlikely feelings happened so early on. Ep4 was only Yasha’s second encounter with them.)

Ok so with that out of the way, I really do think its Beau. I could go more into why exactly, and how differently Yasha talks to Beau, but this isn’t a relationship analysis post, this is a Moment of Realization™ analysis post. All of that above was just to be fair to the others. (Plus I’m trying my best to stick to the 34 episodes I watched; the really good Yasha-likes-Beau stuff happens later.) Now I’ll start the top 5 most likely moments Yasha went “o-oh” for Beau:

5) Episode 34: During their talk in the tavern, Beau asks Yasha if she’s doing okay twice. It’s one of the first things she asks, and notably she’s the only one to ask how Yasha’s handling her best friend’s death in that whole conversation. Not even Jester does; just “I don’t comfort people” Beauregard. (Unfortunately, no real mention is made of the fact that she was kidnapped and beaten, and unlike Fjord and Jester, didn’t have a friend group to help, but, I think Beau asking how she’s doing is the closest we get to that.) She doesn’t say much, but both times asked Yasha seems affected by it. Beau also says she’d be willing to buy Yasha expensive wine, and excitedly tries to include her in their puppy training, and ass kicking. This is good shit and honestly the only reason it’s #5 is because the timing doesn’t really work well; I think Yasha already liked her at this point. Kinda surprised I don’t see more people talking about this moment.

(Also the episode after this is the start of “Travis makes Yasha clearly in love with Beau” and wouldn’t it be so funny if Ashley was like “no, he’s right. Yasha really would slice a man in half after seeing Beau in danger.”)

4) Episodes 15&16: I’m including both of these together because they happened in the same place on the same day, but the fights with the cube and Siff. Bit of a weaker example, but these fights stuck out to me compared to others Yasha had been in, because she sticks to Beau a little more and they seem much more excited to fight together (I believe the cube was their first time using Sentinel together?) realizing that they work extremely well together when they flank. Beau also does that thing where she parkours off of Yasha’s shoulder and I don’t believe for a second Yasha didn’t feel at least a little something. I think it’s very likely that a crush on Beau could’ve started during a battle, and something’s telling me it’s probably one of these two. I also can’t help but feel like Yasha started becoming more socially awkward right around this time. Compare how she acts in episode 9 vs 18. Could be just a character thing, Ashley finding her groove, but I still “hmmm” a little.

3) Episode 25: The healing hands scene. A classic, you love it, I love it. The healing itself aside, what I personally find most interesting is that Yasha looks a little put-upon, her “okay…” sounding a little like she’s thinking “are we really doing this right now?” but Ashley confirms on Talks that Yasha actually thought it was funny, she got a kick out of it. It’s the first time Beau’s flirting got a genuine reaction out of Yash, in a way that almost almost feels like flirting back. Makes me wonder what would’ve happened if Ashley hadn’t left, what they would’ve been like from episodes 26 – 34 if they’d gotten more time together. (I also wonder,,,, if Yasha thought a lot about this last moment of playful affection while she was captured. The last time someone messed around with her and got her to laugh before things went to shit.)

2) Episode 18: The scene where Beau joins Yasha to talk with Oremid and Trent and puts her hand on her lower back. This almost passed me by at first, because other than being near each other, not a whole lot happens; they just talk to some old guys. But then I thought more about it and wondered “… when do you think someone last did that to Yasha?” In this moment she becomes noticeably more flustered, nervous, and stumbling over her words. Now this is probably just because she was told to lead a conversation with two people she doesn’t know and her 7 charisma was showing, but she honestly was never that bad when talking to people in earlier episodes, she actually had quite a bit of confidence. I find it pretty believable that having an attractive woman putting her hand on a frankly rather intimate place, something that probably hasn’t happened to her a long while, would have an effect on her.

1) Episode 19: The Church Youth Group flirting watch. And I actually don’t mean the “huddle for warmth” part – although Yasha offering her shawl is pretty significant – I mean the little talk they have after that. Even after a bit of very awkward flirting, Yasha decides to reach out, talk about something on her mind. Beau immediately stops trying to make a move, her tone becoming genuine, and just engages with Yasha. She doesn’t pry or push, just asks questions. How long had she been away, what was Xhorhas like, did it still feel like home? And Beau ends it by saying she’d like to see it someday and she seems to mean it. She just learned it was a barren, marshy, unpleasant place, but, it’s where one of her new friends is from, and that’s enough. (In hindsight, it might’ve even struck a chord in her about her own home.) Then it becomes weird again – but in a silly way – and they go to bed. It’s a very quick conversation, like 2 minutes, but it does so much for both of them. Because I could be wrong, but I do believe this was the first time anyone stopped and asked Yasha to talk more about herself and where she came from. Hell, it might be the first time Yasha had a one on one talk of that degree with someone other than Molly. Beau was the first to think to ask “what was your home like for you?” and there’s something kind of intimate and special about discussions of home.

It lines up because, if the beauyasha compilations I’ve found are right, this is their last real moment of significance until healing hands. They still talk, they interact, but not to this level again until episode 34. It would make total sense if, after all those little moments from before - “Will you hold me through the show?” the flirting, the looks, the hand on her back, watching Beau - after this moment of real connection, something clicked for Yasha. And, just like the playlist described, she pulls back, keeps just a little bit of a distance. They’ll take watch, but the conversation’s a little weird. She’ll cast healing hands, but she won’t really look at her as she does. Because it became too real. (And maybe she’ll spend most of an underground fight against merrow following Beau around and trying to heal her, but, she won’t say that’s what she’s doing.)

That, I believe, that genuine “I hope to see it someday” was Yasha’s oh.

#critical role #yasha nydoorin #beauyasha #yashter #is that their ship name??? it's only a little bit anyway #discussion of other yasha ships kinda #arctic spent six whole months bingeing this show so now she has to do something with that #beauyasha: heaven is where you are

111 notes · View notes