i will never forget the disappointment in my little four year old heart when watching the polar express for the first time... as a huge fan of the book, i was so disappointed that it felt nothing like the book -- and extremely creeped out by the animation, and stressed out by the. entirety.

Alchemy Lullaby (9/?)

Of all the changes that came with living in the castle, becoming a father was not one he anticipated. When Eugene encounters a small child suffering like he did, he gives them the opportunity to grow up the way he never did… helping them both heal. (AU where Varian is 4 and gets adopted by Eugene)

Varian's growing up fast! So fast Eugene isn't sure how to handle it.

Read the rest on AO3

Me: the next chapter is gonna be something light, a collection of drabbles and headcanons Varian servers: baby hugo Me, opening up my laptop and throwing all my papers aside: BABY HUGO

Shoutout to @finnoky who makes an appearanceeeeee

“...Water is a pol….polar mole..cule… which means it… it has a slight charge,” Varian rambled, hands glossing over laminated words. He sat near a roaring fireplace, its heat seeping into tiny bones. Eugene laid sprawled out by his side, eyes shut. It was one of those cold, dreary days, so they were holed up in the library. Usually Eugene would read to Varian, happy to change his voice and act out fantastical stories. Varian hung onto his every word like gospel. Somedays, Varian would read for himself, happy to learn reading by entertaining Eugene. But today, Varian had grabbed a book the size of his head, lugged it over to their reading nook, opened it up, and began a mini lecture. Staying awake with a fireplace at your back was hard enough, but coupled with teaching? It was a losing battle, and Eugene accepted his defeat with grace. 

Varian did not. 

“Eugene!” Varian whined. The man gave a noncommittal hum, but that only angered his toddler more. 

Thwack. “Pay!” Thwack. “Attention!” Thwack. “To!” Thwack. “MEEEEEEE!” Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

“Ok, ok!” Eugene shrieked, holding his arms up to protect his head from any more blows. “I’m awake! I’m listening!” He sighed fondly at the big pout Varian sported. “Aw, buddy, I’m sorry, it’s just so comfy!”

Varian didn’t take kindly to that excuse, judging by the crocodile tears. He flailed his legs. “Nooooo, no sleep! Only book!” 

“No sleep ever? That’s gonna be a little tricky.”

“Noooooooooo!” 

Eugene finally took pity on the kid. He pulled him close and rolled onto his back so Varian was laying on top of him. He nuzzled his face into soft black hair. It still smelled faintly of blueberry shampoo. Varian was learning fast, maybe too fast if Eugene was being honest. The kid ate through book after book, quickly surpassing simple storybooks and easy nonfiction. Now he was slowly chewing through bigger nonfiction. A quick glance told Eugene he was being taught middle school chemistry. Whenever Varian wasn’t playing in the garden, or shadowing one of his favorite adults, Varian was usually here, consuming the entirety of the kids section. Most of those times, Eugene would inevitably join him, and they’d spend hours reading side by side: Varian, stories, and Eugene, parenting books. 

Rapunzel called them her little bookworms, but Varian had cried when she first called him that. He didn’t want Eugene to be a worm, Eugene called him bluebird, and birds eat worms! 

It was so cute, Eugene secretly hoped Varian would never grow out of kid logic. 

He closed his eyes, tuning out Varian’s complaints. This truly was the life, wasn’t it?

-

A few days later, and Eugene’s life was ending.

Well, that’s being overdramatic. 

After their library day, Eugene brought up the incident to Rapunzel, who spoke to her parents, who pulled a couple strings, and now Varian was going to every parent’s worst nightmare. Varian would be pitted against other kids in a place where children lost their individuality, their fun logic, the little quirks that made each child unique and special. 

Kindergarten.

Varian, for his part, didn’t seem all that scared of Kindergarten. But to be fair, no one told him what it was, either. He’d bounced around, happily carrying his Schultüte and accepting gifts from maids and guards alike who all wanted him to have “fun at school”. Pfft. Fun at school? Impossible! Eugene hated every second of school. He stopped paying attention and look how he turned out! Totally fine!

“You sure you want to go?” Eugene asked. He gripped Varian’s hand so tight his knuckles were nearly white. Varian didn’t seem to mind all that much, skipping as they walked. For his first day Rapunzel had gifted him with a new set of clothes, a pair of blue overalls with a little flower patch on the pant leg. He wore a simple green shirt underneath it, and a backpack filled to the brim with snacks, folders, pencils, and anything else a kid could need. 

“Mhm!” Varian said, jumping over a puddle. 

Eugene gulped. “You sure you’re sure?” Would anyone notice if he just took Varian out for a few hours, and pretended he’d gone to school? Everything Varian needed would be in the castle, why does he need to go to school anyway? 

“Yup!” 

They stopped in front of a small, unimposing schoolhouse. It was painted light yellow, its windows covered in drawings and posters, no doubt done by the nefarious children inside who were only full of cruel words against Eugene’s angel of a bluebird–

“Ok bye!” Varian let go of his hand and ran to the door. 

“W-wait!” That’s it!? No hug goodbye? No “I’ll miss you”? No “Please don’t leave me!” “Ok we’ll go home”? 

Varian stopped before entering, confused. Then, he lit up like a beacon. “Oh!” He raced back, wrapped his arms around Eugene’s legs in a hug, and then bolted back to the school. “Bye Eugene love you!” He cried, and just like that, he was gone.

Eugene gulped, running an anxious hand through his hair. He’s just overthinking it, right? Varian would be fine! Heck, this is good, now he can have a little me time! He’s been torn between teaching guards and raising Varian, he could use a few hours off, right?

-

Varian felt a little bad for his dad, he seemed so… upset? Betrayed? When Varian left, but he couldn’t help it! He’d spent 6 months watching school through windows, and now he was in one! With other kids who were just like him! Not trying to steal his food, or push him around, no, they’re here to learn too!

By the time he entered his classroom, he was practically vibrating with excitement. The walls were covered with fun little decorations, ways to memorize things. The alphabet lined the top of each wall, spanning across the whole room, illuminated by sunlight. In the corner was a plush red carpet, and seated on top were a bunch of kids! He sped over, happily sitting himself front and center, facing the teacher with eager eyes. 

“Good morning class, how is everyone?” 

“Good morning!” Everyone parroted back, startling Varian. He didn’t know the ritual, what to do! Did he look silly? He hoped not! 

Thankfully, no one called it out. Instead, the teacher turned kind eyes to him. “Everyone, we have a special friend with us today! This is Varian, can we all say hi?”

Varian blushed as a dozen tiny eyes turned to him. All of a sudden, he wanted to hide in the back, where no one was staring him down and scrutinizing him. It was like he was still in the castle, with nobility looking down at him! Maybe school was a bad idea...

“Hi!” The children all chorused, just as friendly and happy as their teacher. Varian blinked in shock, confused at the prolonged silence, before he realized what they wanted. “Hi,” he said meekly, satisfying the teacher. 

“Varian, I’m Mr. Finn, let me know if you need any help, alright kiddo?” Varian nodded vehemently. 

The morning passed smoothly, with Mr. Finn reading a story and practicing basic writing and math. While Varian was now an excellent reader, and easily followed the story, writing proved more challenging. He stuck his tongue out in frustration, slowly dragging the pencil down his page. 

“No,” A high pitched voice chimed next to him. He glanced over. The kid next to him was staring right back. He had long blonde hair, longer than Cassie’s but shorter than Rapunzel’s. Sea green eyes shimmered behind frames. “You gotta follow the lines. See?” He held up his paper, proudly displaying a series of “d”s.

“I am,” Varian complained, gazing down at his paper. He could ask Mr. Finn, right? He said so, after all. He went to raise his hand, when the kid grabbed his arm.

“See, you start here,” Though his movements were sloppy, he held onto Varian’s arm and helped him trace out a letter. Varian blinked. That easy? He’d been doing it all wrong! His face lit up in delight. 

“Thanks!” In no time, the rest of the letters were filled in. Varian may not have gotten in right away, but he was a fast learner. It only took a few more letters before the rest of the page was no problem. “I’m Varian,” He held out an arm, like he’d seen the King do.

The boy in front of him grinned, showing off a missing tooth. “I’m Hugo!” He didn’t take Varian’s hand, so the boy put it down. Oh well, maybe it’s just a castle thing. 

What was Eugene so nervous about? School was fun! He already had a friend!

-

Eugene cried into his third helping of mashed potatoes.

“Wow this is sad. How is this any different from days when we babysit?” Cassandra asked, unimpressed. When Lance burst into the castle, insisting that she and Rapunzel come to the Snuggly Duckling and help Eugene, she’d expected a bar fight, or at least something that wasn’t… this. 

Lance shrugged, taking the plate away before Eugene could make himself sick. “Because he can’t go check up on Varian, I think.” That only upset Eugene more, and he let out a tiny whine. Rapunzel, who had been rubbing his back, sped up her soothing motions.

“There there, you’ll see him in a bit,” She said. “To think, a year ago you were Corona’s most wanted thief. Now you’re a dad making a difference!” 

“I’m a dad without a son,” Eugene moaned. That got him an eyeroll from Cassandra.

“He’s been like this since he got here,” Lance added. It had been slightly terrifying. Eugene had burst in, waterworks in full effect. He’d draped himself on Lance’s shoulders, just like he used to when they were kids, acting as if his son was dead and not at school. 

Honestly, it was confusing. Eugene seemed so adverse to getting Varian schooling, but one of his biggest arguments about adopting Varian had been his education! He’d gone on and on about how smart Varian was during those first few days, and how he needed proper schooling, not the poor excuse of an orphanage. But now that Varian was actually in school, it was as if a switch had flipped. 

Rapunzel gained a fire in her eyes, and with a small grunt, pulled him out of his seat. “Come on, Eugene, let’s go cheer you up. How does a day in town sound? Or maybe a haircut?” 

“Varian needs a haircut soon,” was his response. 

The quartet spent much of the afternoon in town, taking in sights and sound. Even after she’d been living here for nearly a year, Rapunzel doubted she’d ever tire of Corona and all it had to offer. But each stop seemed to only remind Eugene more of his son. First was Monty’s where Rapunzel maintained juuuust enough civility to not throttle the man when he asked Rapunzel if she would adopt Varian one day. 

(She fully planned to, but that’s beside the point.)

Then came Xavier’s. The blacksmith was always kind and understanding, and after a quick explanation, he’d been happy to ignore any and all mention of children. That was, until Eugene picked up a dagger with a sigh. 

“Should I teach him how to fight?”

“Eugene he’s not even 5.” Cassandra spoke with a monotone voice.

Eugene nodded. “You’re right. I should’ve started him sooner.” 

He left Xavier’s with a bruised gut. 

“I don’t get it!” Rapunzel cried in frustration. They’d stopped for a break by the fountain, where Eugene sat, staring off in the direction of the schoolhouse. “We’ve taken him all over town, spent the day with him, yet he’s still sad! Is he going to be like this every day Varian’s in school?”

Lance nodded, agreeing. “I thought parents were supposed to be happy when school started.”

“You know I can hear you, right?” Eugene called from his seat. At least his friends and girlfriend had the grace to look guilty. He sighed, redirecting his gaze down at the fountain water. 

In all honesty, he wasn’t so sure either. He loved Varian from the bottom of his heart, but sometimes that kid truly was a handful. Not to mention it had all been so sudden, just like Rapunzel said... That’s when it hit him.

“Stability.”

The others blinked. Rapunzel tilted her head in confusion. So, he elaborated, “My entire life was just, one crazy thing after another. I didn’t stay in school, I became a thief, I ran from place to place. I never had stable housing, or income, or, or anything! And it sucked! A lot! I was constantly stressed out, even when I was in control, I kept waiting for the shoe to drop.

“I know I took Varian in because I wanted stability for him, but…” He glanced up and sheepishly smiled.

“I guess I want it for me, too.” 

-

The school was built right next to a playground, so the children got 30 minutes outside every day. It was a simple thing, with all the basics and a large field for kids to run in. Mr. Finn stood by the school’s door, watching from afar as his class played with one another. 

Hugo pulled Varian along, tugging him past the wooden playground and into the grass field. Varian had never had a friend before, was this how it worked? Regardless, he was happy to come along. 

“Mr. Finn said you live in the castle, is that true?” Hugo asked, stopping in the middle of the field and squatting down into the grass. Varian followed suit, happily twirling a blade of grass between his fingers. 

“Mhm! I live there with Eugene, and Cassie, and-”

“What’s the princess like?” Hugo buts in, staring with wide eyes. They were so close their noses nearly touched. Varian didn’t mind in the slightest. 

“Punzel’s really nice, she lets me paint with her!” He giggled, and Hugo sat back in amazement. 

“My mom says her hair is super long, is that true?” 

“Suuuper long! I like to hide in it.”

“And she lets you!?” 

“Yup! I always get tangled, though.” It was like clockwork: Eugene and Varian would play hide and seek, Varian would hide in her hair, Eugene would find him, he’d get stuck, and Rapunzel would shake him out. She never complained, even though Eugene always made him apologize. 

“It doesn’t hurt,” She reassured them. “I would do the same!” 

Hugo hums, thoroughly impressed. “My mom has really long hair too, and she lets me braid it sometimes!”

Varian gasped. “Really? She lets you?” Gosh, his momma would never let Varian let anywhere near her hair! Apparently he tugged on it as a baby. “That’s so cool!” 

“Really?” Hugo’s face lit up like the sun. 

“Yea! Maybe one day you can meet her!” Varian cheered, directing his gaze down to the grass. There, innocent and unassuming, a small flower grew. Its purple petals furled upwards, allowing Varian to stare right into the yellow center. The first flowers of the season! 

Hugo looked up to find a flower right in front of his face, with a grinning Varian at the other end. “For you!” He said, and Hugo’s face lit up. 

“Thanks!” With one fluid motion, Hugo grasped it and ate it whole. He didn’t even blink. 

Varian blinked. It took a second for what just happened to register. 

Then, he burst into giggles. 

-

Eugene sighed and trudged up to the schoolhouse. As if on cue, a bell rang, and children poured out of the doors. Kids ran to their parents, who were more than happy to scoop their kids up and hear all about their day. Eugene was no exception. Varian exited, and upon seeing him, lit up and flew towards him. 

Eugene caught him easily, spinning around so they were facing the others. “Hi, Varian!” Rapunzel chimed. “How was your day at school!” 

“I liked it a lot!” Varian giggled. “We learned to write, and had pretzels, and, and-”

“Varian!” 

They all turned to see a very nervous looking Hugo, with his cheeks flushed. “I-I just wanted to say… it was nice to meet you! And maybe we can hang out sometime soon and you can show me the castle ok bye!” He then promptly fled, back towards the arms of an exasperated older woman who was probably his mom.

“Bye Hugo!” Varian called, waving in their general direction. “That was Hugo, he’s really nice.”

“I’ll bet,” Cassandra muttered, mildly amused.

Eugene couldn’t help the beams of pride. One day in school and he’d already made a friend! That was more than he could say for his own time in school. “You’re growing up so fast,” Eugene whispered, pulling Varian close. He bounced his arms, Varian happy at the rhythm. “Don’t grow up too fast, ok? Otherwise I’d get all old and wrinkly.” 

“Ah, your highness!” 

Rapunzel turned to see a teacher headed their way. “I’m Mr. Finn, I was with Varian today.”

The princess beamed. “Oh, that’s wonderful, thank you! How was it?” 

“He was great, princess, a delight! I look forward to seeing him in September.” Mr. Finn leaned down to Varian’s height. “I’ll see you in a few months, Varian!”

“Bye bye!” Varian responded, frowning when Eugene stilled in his bouncing. 

“Wait, September?” He asked, confused. Wouldn’t he be seeing Varian tomorrow? It was Wednesday, after all. 

Cassandra laughed. “Oh, we didn’t tell you?” She leaned on his arm. “Varian’s too young for kindergarten. He can’t start till the new school year, when he’ll be 5.”

Eugene paled. “So, I have to go through this… all over?” Varian cocked his head in confusion when Lance barked out a laugh, and Rapunzel covered her mouth to hide a smile. The handmaiden patted Eugene’s back in mock sympathy. 

That night, Eugene cried into another serving of potatoes while Varian practiced his letters.

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your hometown?           preferred field *chuckle*

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?     yes, I have an idea

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?           I haven’t

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? -             

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?       celebs should help them, not me, I need help myself!

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Or do you always try out something new? usually

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?       old folks’ home for sure

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?   sleeping :x

Do you enjoy being on your own or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you?           I’m a loner/introvert

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?     yep

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? I don’t recall atm

What’s a First World problem that you have?         hmm...

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?     me and my sister were doing puppet shows for our parents, mostly her ideas as she was forcing me to perform those until I got sick of that

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? nie bawiłam się w większość gier przez brak zdrowia, ale lubiłam plac z huśtawkami czy drabinkami, albo udawać rodzinę/dom i te fajne białe “krateczki” z kolorowymi “guziczkami” co jak się je wpinało w dziurki to układało się z nich obrazki (nie pamiętam nazwy)

Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? there isn’t

Does your mother annoy you when the holidays come along in the year? my mom annoys me all the time lol Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? I’m too short but I manage and still some ppl sometimes ask me for help anyway Do you check the texture of things first or the smell of them? used to smell them but now just texture Have you ever broken the arm or head off of a figurine? How did you do this? I’m no Chunk :P

Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? I wouldn’t do that on purpose but I don’t believe in most of the superstitions, luckily there are some things you can do to avoid bad luck like throw salt over your shoulder or knock on non painted wooden thingy etc. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bi polar all the time? I’m sick of ppl who use mental and physical illnesses as excuses when they don’t have them - single headache ain’t a migraine nor being an ass makes you a border, shut up! Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you?  more than once Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? some are good, some not Ever been choked severely on something? just a feather Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? several like monkey, raccoon or cat Ever been in one of those church Christmas plays before? Why/why not? I didn’t participate but I watched/looked at them when I was younger Have you ever thrown a roll of toilet paper at someone before? ... why? Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? at times I talk to my computer (because I hate it so we argue), kettle and fridge, also my stuffed animals of course Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: penis Ever think of what it would be like to be a mermaid or merman? I thought and I wouldn’t like it besides maybe finding some cool stuff that drown  What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? creators lack imagination, they ask the same stuff over and over again, it’s boring What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? red Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? noooo Do you like drawing smiley faces or do you think they’re overrated? rarely and I’m ashamed of that tbh Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? hell no but I’m not that bad at it Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? I have good memory when it comes to that most of the time - not counting my green scissors grrrr Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? Archelan - Christmas themed and fuzzy  Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? not as often as I’d like to? Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at nighttime? raped, killed or robbed more likely Do you like showers or baths better? Why did you choose your choice? baths as I like to sit and I don’t like the glass nor have water over my head  Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? it seems Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for? nah, I dislike surprises and there weren’t opportunities/possibilities to do that Do you tap fingernails on desks? hardly ever Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? vocalist (who can play instruments) but I have no talent but don’t worry, it was a childish dream that fade away when I found out more about live of a band member Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? nope, we don’t talk, just say HI if anything  Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? yep Do you ever had to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? camp When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? we’ll see, covid situation isn’t helpful and I can’t focus on books lately Do you treat others as you’d like to be treated? Have you always? I treat them how they treat me (not authority figures/dangerous ppl tho) Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? sweet and quiet Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? I don’t like to but I still end up arguing, sigh... How do you make sure people know you don’t like them at all? avoid them, block them, ignore them fight with them when they don’t stay away (not physically yet)

How much was the cell phone you have at this moment in time? about 200 PLN  What would you do if you woke up randomly with purple hair? cool but wonder how that happened What color is the closest desk to your body? What all is on it? ugly light brown with shitload of stuff The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? gonna have it soon so don’t remind me Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? aliens tried to abduct me in dreams but didn’t succeed ha!  What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white Do you like people who are loud or people who are quiet? not too tiring but not completely silent either Does personality weigh out the sense of ‘good looks?’ look is important but not as much as personality for sure, it’s like 1:9 I think Do you hate it when people copy the things you do? could say so Has anyone ever told you that you’re good at cooking? r u kidding?... Do you have any enemies who you think are dangerous? anyone can be Do you ever try to squeeze information out of people? Konrad once told me I’m like a private detective about it because I’m so sneaky they don’t realize until it’s too late but I sadly forget infos quickly due to stress last months so it’s not as useful as it sounds Does it freak you out when the police drive/walk by? somehow Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? I don’t drive Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? I had a friend who was a firefighter

Have you ever woken up to a good morning letter beside you? left in the kitchen but informative like - I went there or feed the dog etc. Would you ever get your nails done? I can do them myself if I ever want to

Are you afraid of worms? maggots Do you wear rings on your thumb? why not How many shirts of yours are red? less than 5 Does the color red look good on you? my first therapist told me I should wear it to be more brave but it causes anger in me so I prefer not to Do you pray before every meal? Sunday lunch with parents Have you ever been caught cheating on a test? not caught but been cheating in high school How many white tank tops do you own? 0? Do loud people bother you? omg YES Does your head itch? not currently but frequently Do you know anyone named John? my ex friend had a nickname like this Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? I’m not stupid Are you a fast runner? like Gimli Did you ever want a pet rabbit? no way

Do you ever want to own a house? apartment more likely How do you feel about men? blergh Do you know any police officers? my neighbor was a police officer Have you ever signed a petition? lots Have you ever aspired to start your own business? I wish Who is the oldest person living in the same building as you? mom The youngest? me Would you rather pay with cash or card? cash, cards make me nervous Have you ever used a pager? I have not Do you like visiting the beach? beachcombing is fun Do you like to buy things? but not spend money lmfao Have you ever been in a polygamous relationship? I didn’t know that I apparently am - jk Is there anyone you haven’t spoken to in a long time but you still think about daily? my grandma for example Would you like to be rich? not filthy, having enough money to live and not barely survive

have you ever behaved like a stalker? *crickets* can you lie and keep a straight face? poker face game strong when situation calls for it

have you ever feared for somebody else’s life? especially dad’s do you prefer honesty, even when it hurts? hard to tell if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? picked my dog’s  have you ever masturbated while driving? wtf, don’t do that, gross how do you feel when someone takes the last of something? without asking? *cringe* how do you feel when people tell you “bless you” when you sneeze? thank you unless I sneeze many times in a row and they bless me every single time - then it’s annoying what are you supposed to say when somebody coughs? r u ok? have you ever committed a violent crime because of a video game or rap song? who said I play/listen to those? have you ever actually overheard one of your friends talking shit about you? possibly how many partners is too many? at once or in your entire life? do you believe that wearing an aluminum foil hat will stop the government from reading your thoughts? that reminds me of the RED movie XD

would you rather have a hook for a hand or a peg leg? peg leg 100% elseway I’d end up with an eye cover as well if you know what I mean bonus points for/to being a pirate tho how close does someone have to be for you to feel obligated to wait and hold the door for them? either right behind me or carry heavy/big load do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? for example when I worry about it bleeding  what is your cure for the hiccups? wait

Do you miss Brittany Murphy’s appearance in films? awwww she was such a good actress RIP

Is Christmas stressful? to me it is but I’m stressed 24/7

Do you make your own smoothies or juices? meh

Do you think time really does heal all? NO

Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? cold

Did you care at all when Steve Jobs died? ... he died?

Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? my mother for dirty laundry

When do you decorate for Christmas? as soon as possible

Would you be cool with wearing sweatpants to the grocery store? yes

Have you ever been pranked via a hidden camera? am glad that didn’t happen 

Do you know any of those people who are depressed during the winter? I’m depressed year round

If a job makes you unhappy, do you choose to stay or leave? if I can change it without ending up on the street then I leave

How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better? nothing? Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with? my family member[s] How is your relationship with money? we don’t see each other as often as I’d like to ;) get it?  How do you feel about growing old someday? won’t live that long

Are you wearing two shirts? too hot for that Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? disgusting! Can you point out constellations in the night sky? I can not What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? not interested What’s the last thing you bought at a mall? food, antibacterial gel and a blanket

Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? parents but I’ll feel crappy about it  Have you ever swam in a river? as a child Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? ewww seriously?  What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? smells make me sick In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I seek presents whole year then store them for later Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? as a lesbian What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? bushes, grass, moss and trees, wild flowers, if they want to grow, can stay  Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I agree When’s the next time you’ll go to the grocery store? not in next weeks

Where’s your car keys? not applicable Did you keep any momentos of school dances? pics Do you still have clothes from your high school? and middle school  Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? this question...

Do you own anything skull print? had a shirt that I gave to John ages ago Who are the three people you consider yourself closest to? parents and my gf Which ex of yours means the most to you? my partner as we’re back together Have you taken prescription medications that didn’t belong to you? oh well... How are your social skills? awkward Have you ever stayed at a hotel for longer than two months? I’m poor Do you ever go outside to look at the stars? there were some days in past summers when me and dad been going to stadium for a walk at night, that’s when and where we saw UFO  Who breaks away from the kiss first? she as she forgets to breathe  Do you know what you weigh? thx for a reminder - they’ll ask in hospital Have you ever smoked anything other than tobacco? one cigarette was all that I smoked in me life Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? nope Do you say koala bear or simply koala? koala  Do you usually travel anywhere in the winter? I’d freeze brrr Do you wait for someone else to take the garbage out when it’s full? we take turns Are most of your friends white? it’s not America so...

Does your hair reach your boobs? not even my shoulders

What’s something that fills you with anxiety? what doesn’t?...

What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? there’s no expiration date

Have you ever watched Bob’s Burgers? fragments

Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? I wasn’t that much of a note passer 

Do you know anyone who is afraid of horses? nah

Do you clean things that are already clean when you’re bored? tha hell?...

Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? tropical

What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? I say it’s important to be healthy but weight isn’t always a sign of being ill

Is there any Irish, Scottish, or Danish in your heritage? none that I know of

Do you find Asians attractive? yes and no

Have either of your parents ever been to jail? nooooo

Keep Calm and Carry On or Screw Calm and Get Angry? there’s time for one of each?

Do you think Urban Outfitters is overpriced? like every other similar store 

Are your colarbones prominent? yeah

Have you ever in your life worn overalls? I have indeed

How did you react when you heard Whitney Houston had died? sorry but I didn’t care

Do you think Helena Bonham Carter is attractive? she is

Would you rather listen to Dolly Parton or Dusty Springfield? Dolly

Are you watching The Walking Dead? I’m scared of zombies and gore 

Are you a light sleeper? became lighter

Would you consider cuddling cheating? it’s complicated

What does the purse/bag you last used look like? it’s black with red embroidery and white beads

Can you make a clover with your tongue? impossible

What’s your favorite coffee brand/flavor? I don’t drink coffee

Is your belly button pierced? no piercings!

Fast cars & Freedom: Bad Liar (12/?)

The end of summer zoo trip has arrived, as tensions run high will the trip be a disaster? Catch up HERE

Pairings: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Rating: Mature

Ellie had gotten herself in well over her head again. After Logan told her what he wanted, and the blow up with Colt. She made herself busy with work, and spending her free time with Luca. She had been looking forward to the zoo trip all summer, but that morning she woke up dreading the day. She had minimal contact with Colt, and Logan was often at the track preparing for a big race coming up. She got up and got herself ready before waking Luca up. Once luca was ready they went down and had breakfast. Ellie sat there picking at her muffin, not having much of an appetite, and her stomach was flopping all over the place.

“Hey guys. We're sorry but we're not going to make it to the zoo today.” Ellie gave her dad a confused look. “Um ok. Not that I didn't want you guys to come but, it was only supposed to be The four of us. Luca, logan, colt and I.”

“oh Logan invited us the other day. But, sally and I are going away for the day.” Frank grabbed a cup of coffee while the frustration swirled in Ellies head. “You ok kiddo? You look a little pale.” Ellie shook her head “Yeah, im fine just, my nerves are shot.”

“Grampy, I'm going to the zoo today. I'm going to see Lions and pandas and tigers and hiphopitamuses.” she grinned, Ellie and Frank chuckling at the mispronunciation. “You mean hippopotamus’s” Frank snickered. “Yeah, that's what I said hiphopitamuses. Silly grampy.”

“Well you have fun. And don't let the monkeys fling poop at you.” Frank waved. “Dad! Seriously?” Ellie scolded him. He stuck out his tongue and walked out the door.

Ellie and Luca drove alone, meeting Logan and Colt there. After a 2 hour drive they pulled into the parking area of the zoo, meeting Colt at the gate. “Colt.” Luca went running, a wide smile spread across his face “Hey princess.” he scooped her up in a hug. “Hi Colt.” Ellie walked up to the too. “Ellie.” He acknowledged her. He still was angry, her stomach churned again, the stress was eating at her. “Hey Luca, Hey Ellie, you guys made it finally.” Logan came walking up, Ellie turned towards his voice glad he was there but her face falling slightly seeing Stacie standing next to him. “Oh, hey Stacie I didn't expect to see you here.”

“Oh, yeah Logan asked me to tag along.  Riya and Darius couldn't make it.” Stacie grinned.

Ellie chewed the inside of her cheek, trying not to say something she might regret.

They paid for their tickets and made their way into the zoo. Luca was ecstatic,  she loved the zoo and Ellie would often take her back on the East coast. She would always tell her how her parents would take her when she was a little girl, and her favorite animals to see were the otters.  Logan was just as excited as Luca he had never been to the zoo before. They walked around coming up to the Arctic Fox. "Wow, so pretty. Its fur is snow white." Ellie marveled at the beautiful animal before her. "Well, its white what did you expect." Colt snorted, Ellie shot him a dirty look. "Let's move on." Stacie suggested, sensing the tension.  

They walked up to the baboons, they watched them run around and jump, playing with each other.  Ellie stood next to Colt, who had Luca on his shoulders, her gaze set on Logan standing with Stacie. His hand planted on her shoulder as he stood behind her, pointing things out.she watched as Stacie laughed, and then playfully slapped his chest.

"Ok. Let's move on." Ellie snapped, they all looked at her as she quickly turned making her way to the next animal.

They stood in front of  the penguin display. "OOH penguins, I love penguins Colt. Get closer. " Luca tugged on his hair. "Ouch. Alright, Alright. I'll move closer." Logan stood next to Ellie and Stacie. "Awe look at the babies." Stacie swooned. "Did you know the father hatches the egg while the mother hunts?" Logan crossed his arms, pleased with his input. "Oh yeah? Where did you hear that?" Stacie quirked her brow, Logan gave her a lopsided grin "happy feet." Ellie rolled her eyes annoyed.  Stacie was her friend, but why did Logan invite her on their family outing, or for lack of better terms, dysfunctional family outing?

Of course you'd be impressed by that Ellie mumbles under her breath.  Colt cocked his head to the side.  "Something bothering you Elle?"

"NO." she snapped.

"You know most penguins go through life with one partner. Once they find them, they never seperate." Ellie shot him an unamused look. "If only some humans were like that." He focus on her as he spoke.  "Come on squirt, lets go look at the giraffe's."

Ellie stood there alone a minute while everyone followed colt. She could feel her stomach churning again. This was not how she anticipated the day going. Once she semi composed herself she joined the others.

After an afternoon of snide remarks and jabs between the 3 of them Ellie finally had her fill. They were standing in line to get drinks. It was hot, and tensions were running high. "Can we go see the tigers? Mommy, I want to see the polar bears, you promised we could see the polar bears. When Can we see something else. " Luca whined.

"Luca, we will go in a minute. Calm down and let stacie get her drink." Ellie snapped. "Whoa Ellie calm down. Are you mad about something?" Logan questioned as Ellie stood there, mouth agape "Seriously Logan?" She threw her hands up in the air "Why did you invite Stacie here?"

"I didn't think it would be a problem." Ellie rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Nothing is ever a problem. This was supposed to be a family outing. Is. Is something going on with you and Stacie?" She pointed at him, just as Stacie walked up. "No, were just friends Ellie." Logan said in defense prompting stacie to chime in "Ellie, I told you I would never do that to you."

"Why do you care so much Ellie? You want to be with Logan?" Colt broke his silence. The four began to argue amongst themselves for a few minutes, finally Ellie spoke up "I'm done with this. Come on Luca, lets let's go see the polar bears." She turned looking for Luca, she was nowhere to be found. "Luca? LUCA!" she shouted panic setting in.

"Luca." Logan shouted, still not getting a response.  Ellie began to hyperventilate colt on her immediately "Ellie, Elle I need you to calm down. We're gonna find her. Breathe in." He looked up "Logan, go look by the polar bear enclosure, and then to the Lions.  Stacie, go tell a staff member we have a missing child." The two nodded and took off.

"Colt, my baby. What if we." Ellie sobbed.

"Hey, calm down. We're gonna find her, trust me." He pulled her into a tight embrace, calming her down. "Now, is there anywhere else she would go?" Ellie's eyes went wide "Hippos."

Colt grabbed her hand as they took off running, darting around the other visitors. They came upon the Hippo enclosure, their eyes darted around before Colt locked eyes on the small brunette child "Luca." She shouted, she turned smiling at him. "Ellie, I got her." He shouted as he scooped her up in his arms. "Luca, you scared us. You can't wander off sweetheart."

"Lulu, oh thank god. Baby you can't wander off, you scared us to death." The three stood ellie and colt holding onto her for dear life.  

Logan and Stacie ran up, thankful she was ok. A slight pained look on his face as he watched the interaction between the three. "I'll go and inform the staff we found her." Stacie gave his shoulder a squeeze as she parted. Logan made his way to the trio "Thank god you found her. Hey lulu, you really gave us a scare." Luca reached over for Logan. "Are you mad at me uncle Logie?" Logan chuckled "no. I'm glad you're ok. But you can't wander off like that ok."

They decided to call it a day after that. Luca having school the next morning. Both men agreeing to come see her off. As Ellie put Luca to bed that night the day replaying in her head. How did things get so screwed up. Was there really something going on between Stacie and Logan? She knew Colt was upset about the divorce, but the way he stepped up and took control of the situation made her really believe he would be a good dad, if he was Lucas father. And the few minutes Luca was gone terrified her, it was just a few minutes but it felt like a lifetime. The nagging nauseous feeling crept back up again, she couldn't wait for it to be all over, the divorce,  the paternity results. She laid down, tossing and turning in bed most of the night.

The next morning she woke up, got Luca ready and sure enough both Colt and Logan were there to see her off. Luca was excited to start school, she excelled in preschool,  and placed much higher than a kindergarten level on her school entrance test. Though she most likely got her smarts from her mother, Colt was also very smart, and Logan really showed his intellectual side during the study date with Riya and Darius all those years ago. She would definitely be a force to be reckoned with in school, that was for sure.

Ellie took the day off of work, she knew she wouldn't be productive with her mind occupied with Luca being at school. She spent the day wandering around the house,  cleaning up, unpacking boxes she still hadn't gotten around to. If she were being honest with herself she was also trying to block out the fact the court date was the next week. She often found herself wondering if she were making a mistake,  and every time she wondered it, Dracys words popped in her head. He loved Luca, he really seemed like he would be a good dad. But what if being a family wasn't enough? What if he turned out to be just like Kaneko, wanting more, the crew again. She took a deep breath, allowing herself to think those thoughts brought back the familiar nauseous feeling. She took a deep breath calming herself down,  she would cross that bridge when the time came, only if she were Colts.

Before she knew it, it was almost time to get Luca from the bus. Logan had a race he coming up, so he had to take off right after they got Luca on the bus. Colt however, would be there. Ellie sat on the front patio waiting when she heard the familiar sound of a bike coming down the street. She watched  him as he pulled into the driveway. She always loved the way he looked when he rode. He had traded in his old leather jacket for a new one, his shoulders broader than when he was 19 going on 20. He was still as fit as ever, ellies mind flashed back to the night they hooked up, her hands pressed against his muscular chest. She bit her lip at the thought,  his impossibly tight shirt not helping the situation as he walked towards her . "I knew you would be out here already." He smirked as he walked onto the porch. "Yeah, how'd you know that." She tilted her head at him. "Because you're always like an hour early for everything."

He was right, and she couldn't believe he remembered.

"You ever think you'll go back to a car?" She asked.

"Not anytime soon," He chuckled "Guess I'll have to use one of the cars I Have sitting around for when I have Luca."

"I miss it." Colt eyed her "miss what? The bike? You want that too?"

"NO. I miss the riding. The thrill, the feeling." A blush crept up on her cheeks she prayed he didn't notice.

"Let's take a ride. " He stood holding out his hand. Ellie hesitated "I ahhh. I dont know, Luca-"

"will be off the bus in 45 minutes, we have time. Come on, we have plenty of time." Ellie contemplated for a split second, before an old feeling she had tucked away ignited her body. "Let's do it." She jumped up following him to the bike. They climbed on and he fired up the bike.

She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, her head rested against his back. She watched as the scenery flew by in a blur, the sound of his peaceful breathing putting her at ease. She missed this more than she thought, she needed just one last ride before she closed that chapter of her life completely. They drove for about twenty minutes and then came back to the house. They got off the bike, "thanks. I needed that." Ellie smiled as they walked together to the patio. "Yeah  anytime." He sat down fidgeting with his thumbs. "I'm leaving town Elle." He blurted out. Ellie felt her heart drop into her stomach. "Colt. We have court, and what about Luca?" She was shocked, she couldn't believe he would just leave.

"I can't go to court, I can't go and I won't.  If I go, I will contest it all. But if I leave, you'll get what you want,  you'll be happy." He turned looking at her "That's all I want for you El, to be happy, that is all I ever wanted. I'll tell Luca, it's not forever,  just until after the court date." His voice cracking a little, she could tell he was giving everything he had not to break down, she had seen it once before, the night his father died. She tried to do the same but her eyes failed her terribly.  "Colt I. I'm sorry." She began to sob, a wave of emotion crashing over her. She hated this, she hated all of this. Why couldn't he of just got the annulment 6 years ago, why did she still have to care about them both?

"Ellie please don't cry, please." His voice wavering more. As he pulled her into a hug. "What. About. The test results,  what if they call?" She sniffled. "You call me, text me leave me a voicemail. Its shotty connection so I may not get them right away. If for some reason i can't get there, and she's not mine, just don't call me and tell me." Ellie shook her head. "When will you leave?"

"This weekend, friday morning. Just  for a week."

Before they knew it the bus pulled up. They were greeted by a bright eyed, big smile little girl. "Mooooomy, coooolt." She flew into Ellies arms almost knocking her over. "Whoa." Ellie goggled, steadying herself. "Did you have a good day?" "I had the best day ever!" She ran to colts arms as he scooped her up twirling her around. "Hey sweetheart, what did you do today?" He put her down as they sat down "Well my teacher tried to teach us counting today and they only had us count to 20. I said that's it?"

"Oh yeah? Well what did she say?" Colt cocked his brow, knowing Luca she gave this teacher a run for her money. "Well she said that we would work on counting past 20 later on in the year. So I said, lady I can count past 20 with no problem." They looked to her to finish.  "And she said oh yeah, that's excellent what can you count to? And then I said um like 1,000. So she didn't believe me so I started counting." Her face going somber "She. She cut me off at 497." Ellie and Colt both looked to each other and laughed.

"That's amazing squirt. You are so smart, just like mommy." Colts sincere gaze met her eyes. "Hey Luca. I have to tell you something ok?" Luca looked up at him "I just wanted to let you know that I have to go out of town for a little bit."

"You're leaving?" She sniffled.  "Yeah but not til Friday, and just a few days."

"Will you put me on the bus every morning?" She batted her tiny little lashes, Just like her mom, he was a sucker for it and Colt was warped around her tiny little fingers. "Yes I will."

"And get me off the bus?" Ellie chuckled, she was persuasive.

"Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world." Colt hugged her.

The week flew past, she missed Logan and wasn't sure what to do about him. Could she really divorce Colt and then date Logan? Was that even fair? Would she lose him forever? Could she handle that? Friday morning Colt came to put Luca on the bus, Ellie thought it best if he did it alone, it would be hard on them both when he left. Just a few short days and it would be over, but was she ready? Only time would tell.

Colt drove the biggest part of the day. Fighting back the urge to turn around and show up to that court house next week.  He needed to push through to get to his destination and try to clear his mind.

After almost 8 hours he pulled into the Lake Tahoe area. Up a gravel driveway to a nice cabin that sat by the lake. The woman stood there hands on her hips,  "Bout time you came up here to see me."

"Hey Mom."

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𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞

𝟎𝟎𝟔 ➺ 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Pairing ➺ Thomas Shelby x Mafia!Reader Modern AU

Warning ➺ pissy brother Ryan, cute uwu stuff, foreshadowing wink wink and UwU at the end AHHH

Word Count ➺ 3,730 (I shock myself everytime)

Summary ➺ Two Mafia’s, two polar opposites, two leaders with blood on their hands.

A/N ➺ Also send me your thoughts! Feel free to reblog!  Cried while writing this lol.

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @hollandfieldblurbs, @beerbottlesandchainsaws, @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine, @spideyyypeter

☆♜ 𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♜☆ ➺ @softcillian , @crazyzoey48484, @thatsamegirl, @softpetcrparker, @camilovestar, @ghosttling , @trash-can-beebo, @notanovak-iller, @chocolatekisses8, @shelbyaesthetic

☞  Masterlist  ☜

Sunday, there’s a lot to do on sunday’s. Watch football, have a bbq, go to the movies, sleep in, and some even go to church. Usually sunday’s were a family day for the (Y/L/N), they’d go to church and have a bbq at one of their houses.

(Y/N) knocked on the guest bedroom door, behind the oak doors laid a sleepy Tommy. After last nights events, weather and well staying up to look over and change anything that was in the contract (Y/N) offered for Tommy to take the guest bedroom if he wanted to.

"I think that’s about it.” (Y/N) announced signing the last page with a sigh, it was already 11 PM and she wasn’t in bed. The sound of the pouring rain echoed throughout the house, it would be hard for Tommy to get out in this weather. “You could sleep in the guest room if you’d like, it’s hard to get out during this type of weather.” Tommy smirked taking a long drag from his cigarette before exhaling a cloud of grey smoke. 

“If you wanted me to stay, just ask love. You didn’t need to use the weather as an excuse.” (Y/N) scoffed placing his signed papers into a new folder, even after what they had talked about earlier he was still a huge flirt. “It was an offer Thomas.” he stubbed his cigarette into her glass ash tray smirking at (Y/N) leaning back into the velvet red chair “I’ll take you up on that offer.” 

Tommy groaned pulling himself out of bed, trailing over to the door to see (Y/N) was already dressed. She stood there for a second, her eyes falling to his toned body her eyes caught a tattoo that was on his left pectoral. 

“G’morning love.” (Y/N) eyes snapped back to Tommy’s face, a smirk painted his lips, she mentally face-palmed herself for being to obvious earlier.

“Morning! So um, I’m going to church with my family and was wondering if you’d like to come.. we’re also gonna have dinner well at my place tonight. This could be like a pay back for dinner and the night at the club.”

Tommy was and would never be one to go to church, the only time he stood in a church was for his wedding and even then did he have the urge to just kiss Grace call it a day and get the hell out of there. He was never one to pray and ask for forgiveness. 

“I’m not one to go to church love.” 

(Y/N) hummed rocking back and forth looking up at Tommy with doe eyes, “Hm, well I guess you’ll be on your way. If you end up changing your mind, there’s extra suits in the closet.” she turned on her heels and headed down the hall disappearing into the twin’s room.

He stood there for a second rethinking her offer. There was something about her that would have you rethinking life decisions and question if you’re doing it right or not. It’s the way she played around with her words, it was like a spell.

(Y/N) stood in the kitchen pouring some cereal and milk into two bowls for the twins ushering them to eat up as she poured herself a cup of tea. Tommy walked into the kitchen causing (Y/N) eyes to fall onto him, smirking to herself she placed her tea onto the counter top. 

“C’mon kids, eat up we have to leave in ten.”

Ryan flicked his cigarette to the ground as he stood next to Carter and his wife waiting for (Y/N) and the twins to arrive, the mass would start in ten minutes and the last thing he wanted was for his sister to be late again. He glanced to see if his sister was anywhere in sight, he turned back twice noticing a certain stranger walking along side his sister.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ryan grumbled catching Carter’s attention as his stood there in silence, (Y/N) glared at her brother’s mouthing “Behave.” knowing they’d make a big fuss out of Tommy being here. But he was her guest they shouldn’t make a huge deal out of it.

Kennedy and Kaleb ran over to their parents, Ryan kissed the crown of their heads as they mumbled “Hi uncle Ryan.” Tommy stood next to (Y/N) shoving his hands into the pocket of his dress pants. 

Tommy leaned forward his hot breath fanned over (Y/N) ear causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand, “You’re not gonna introduce me?” (Y/N) pinched at his ribs glaring up at him before averting her eyes to her family that was watching the two cautiously.

“This is Thomas Shelby, that’s my older brother Carter and his wife Audrey. And my younger brother Ryan.” Carter offered his hand for Tommy to shake, Audrey smiled warmly and said “Nice to meet you.”  Ryan firmly shook his hand narrowing his eyes at the gypsy. (Y/N) tugged at Tommy’s arm pulling him away from her brother who didn’t want to let go. 

They walked into the church, her family trailing behind them. “Your brother doesn’t seem to like me.” Tommy whispered watching (Y/N) wave at people here and there, she looked up at him and sighed “That’s just Ryan, don’t worry about it.” a light gasp met her ears turning to see Mrs.Adley, a woman they’ve known since they were little a friend of her parents. 

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)! I didn’t see you last week!” she pulled (Y/N) into a big hug swaying the two from side to side, pulling away quickly to look between her and the man that stood beside her. “Who’s your friend here? Is he your boyfriend?” a small red tint painted her cheeks, they were as rosey as a child’s cheek that were just pinched by their aunt. 

(Y/N) shook her head looking between Tommy and Mrs.Adley “Oh no he-” Tommy wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled warmly at the older lady, “Yes, I’m Thomas Shelby.” Mrs.Adley stared at the two in awe and tapped her shoulder. 

“I’m glad you found someone again (Y/N), I’ll let you two go now.” once she walked away from the two (Y/N) pinched his side glaring up the raven haired man that stood beside her.

“Great, we just lied to a sweet old lady whom I’ve known for nearly my entire life and for the cherry on top,” she leaned closer to Tommy and gritted “, we lied in front of god!” he chuckled lightly sliding into one of the rows where the rest of the (Y/L/N) sat.

“It made her happy eh? I also don’t give a shit bout lying in front of-“ before Tommy could finsih his sentence she pinched his side again bringing her index finger up to his lips to shut him up and to prevent him from continuing his sentence.

For the rest of the entire mass the two spent the time either making comments between one another and (Y/N) pinching his side every now and then. Ryan glared at his sister and the gypsy who were acting like children and forgot what they learned in kindergarten, keeping their hands to themselves.

Tommy’s left hand rested on her knee, she didn’t mind it if anything she just let it be ignoring his cold calloused hands on her soft silky skin. He slowly trailed his hand up her thigh pinching her soft skin as a small yelp slipped pass her lips. (Y/N) left hand flew over her mouth as she elbowed his side, she felt the handle off his gun immediately she turned her head to look at Tommy.

“You’re fucking armed?”

Carter threw a glare at his sister and her foul mouth and whispered “Mind your french (Y/N/N).” Tommy smirked undoing the button to his blazer and flashed his holster with his gun.

“I’m always armed doll.”

Hm, that’s new. Doll. 

“We’re in church Thomas, there’s no need to be armed!” (Y/N) gritted watching as Tommy button his blazer, he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer into his side.

“Hm, you don’t know what may be around the corner doll. Now pay attention yeah? The mass is nearly done.”

Once the mass was done they gathered outside in front of Carter’s car, “So your place tonight?” (Y/N) nodded dropping her nearly finished cigarette onto the concrete ground, “My place, five o’clock don’t be late. C’mon Thomas.” before she could walk away Ryan wrapped his hand around her wrist tugging his sister back. 

“Is he gonna be there?” he whispered as (Y/N) tugged back at her wrist scoffing at her brother’s actions, she understood he was looking out for her but Tommy was her guest and he was being disrespectful. 

“Yes, Thomas is gonna be there, cut it out will you? He’s my guest.” (Y/N) turned away from her angered little brother catching Tommy’s hand with her’s tugging him to walk away from her family. Anger ran through her veins annoyed with Ryan’s actions, he was apart of the business yes, but she ran the company. Their father left the company in her hands, so even if they had an opinion it wouldn’t matter. 

Because anything she say’s, go’s

Tommy sat on the barstool around the island watching (Y/N) move around the kitchen she took a sip from her glass of wine every now and then as for Tommy of course he had whiskey. He traced the rim of his glass staring at (Y/N) before speaking. 

“Why do you go to church?”

(Y/N) her eyes focused on cutting the vegetables that were laid out in glass bowls taking some carrots and chopping them up on the wooden board “It’s tradition. Every sunday we go to church, that’s how i was raised. now it’s passed onto Ken and Kaleb.”

“Do you think you’ll end up in hell?”

She scoffed lightly, “That question is one hell of an understatement.” 

Oh that question has been asked and assumed by many people, usually those that would end up with lead in their head scream “You’ll end up in hell.” or “Hell can’t wait for you.”. 

Though she may go to church, ask for forgiveness after all the sins she committed. There was only one path for her, and she knew there was nothing she could do about it.

That path was straight to hell.

“Why do you go to church, if you know you’re gonna end up in hell?”

(Y/N) took a sip of her wine, thinking about her life as a kid. How carefree she was and never knew about her family business, how her life was pure, how she was pure. That was until one day the ugly truth about her family business was revealed and it was that day all the love and purity in her heart vanished. When she first found out she was going to be an aunt, all she wanted was to protect her niece and nephew from the ugly business that she did. She didn’t want them to go through what she went through.

“Kaleb and Kennedy, they’re the most purest human beings in my life. It was right of Carter and Audrey to walk away from this business, they want more for their kids. As I do too, I don’t want them to be surrounded by death like I was.”

Her heart clenched at the memory she tried so hard to push away, the memory she wish could be erased. This caused a ripple effect, the memory she tried to forget gave her a reason to take part of the business. 

“At the age of thirteen I watched my mother die right in front of me, we were taken and held hostage. No matter how much i begged for them to take me first, I watched them put a bullet through my mom’s head. They said, you’re father will know why.”

That was the day she watched her father put lead through the man’s head, that was the day she heard the man spit “It’s the people like us Andrew, the people like us who do this dirty businesses could never be loved.. we’ll always be alone, and any love we get, we will have to pay for-” it all happened so quickly, that was the first time she had seen her father covered in blood, and that was she caught a glimpse of the family business.

”I don’t want those kids to grow up fearing their lives, i want them to see the world and not worry about what’s around the corner.” (Y/N) sighed taking in glass of wine into her hand sipping the red liquid before setting back onto the marble countertop. 

“Now, get up off your ass and help me cook.”

(Y/N) watched as Kennedy and Kaleb ran around the backyard, Carter sat on one of the chairs around the pool with Audrey sitting on his lap. Tommy stood a few feet away from the stove mixing the sauce that was in the pan, he was never really one to cook hence why he has a chef.

She picked a cherry tomato from the salad bowl she had just finished tossing and threw it at Tommy, he didn’t even flinch he just stood there mixing the sauce. She threw another one this time earning a low scowl from Tommy, before she could throw one more tomato he turned on his heels pointing the wooden spoon at (Y/N).

“Alright, doll cut it out.” (Y/N) smiled innocently throwing the tomato she held in her hands hitting him right in the forehead, he reached for the bowl of flour flicking it towards (Y/N) causing her to squeal loudly.

“No! This is a limited edition Chanel dress! Don’t you dare Thomas!” Tommy stood there for a second pretending to think over what she said before taking a handful of flour and throwing it at (Y/N). 

She grabbed a handful of tomato’s threw them at Tommy as she ran around the counter throwing endless amount of the red fruit at the man that held a bowl of flour. Audrey turned her head towards the glass window, “Something’s happening in the kitchen.” she mumbled standing from her husband’s lap to see what her sister-in-law and gypsy were doing that caused such ruckus. 

Audrey watched as they ran around the kitchen like children throwing flour creating a small snow storm and tomato’s like mad men and women when the play sucked. 

“Carter! Look! Bring my phone!” her husband moved to stand beside her watching his sister run around laughing the kitchen like a child who ate too much candy. This was the first time in a while he saw her laugh, after Alex she’d been so down in the dumps, it was like she forgot to have fun and laugh.

If Pol was there, she would’ve fell in love with (Y/N) even more and hell would even buy a ring for her. If Pol was there she’d be so happy to see the joy on Tommy’s face something she was never really use to seeing since he always has a stone cold exterior hiding what he felt on the inside. 

Audrey took a few photo’s, something she could use to blackmail her sister or to tease her about. Well use as leverage for her to take the kids every date night.

“Thomas!” (Y/N) squealed as Tommy snaked his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him as she stood on her toes, their chest pressed against one another. He held the bowl of flour over her head ready to dump it on her, “Tommy no please don’t!” he tilted the bowl causing (Y/N) to scream loudly throwing the rest of her tomato’s at his chest.

“It’s two word’s doll, just say it and your dress won’t be ruined yeah?” she pouted at his words not wanting to give in and give up, but she also didn’t want anymore flour on her Chanel dress. 

She trailed her hand to cup his right cheek and hummed “Has anyone ever told you, you’re beautiful?” if there was something she was a master at it was manipulation and distraction, Tommy leaned forward causing her feet to meet the ground. 

“You’re such a tease eh? Tryin’ to distract me?” he backed her up to the edge of the counter placing the bowl of flour down and away from her reach, “Did it work?” (Y/N) asked innocently, her manicured nails traced his clothed chest the air in the room felt tighter and hot. Their breaths fanning over one an other, unsure of what to do next well that was until Kennedy ran into the kitchen.

“Uncle Ryan’s here!” Tommy loosened his grip around her waist pushing himself off of her, “We better clean up before your brother has my head for it.” (Y/N) nodded brushing the hair that fell in her face behind her ear gathering the marinated shrimp and chicken outside for her brother to cook on the grill. 

Ryan followed his sister outside with Ken in his arms, “Hey, what’s up with the mess inside?” Audrey rose from her husband’s lap unlocking her phone to show her brother-in-law “They were having fun.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes pushing pass her brother to clean up the mess inside and take a quick shower before dinner.

Dinner was spent with much filled laughter and lot’s of drinking well at least Audrey did most of the drinking by the end of the night she had made Carter promise to put another child in her, something (Y/N) didn’t want to hear at all. 

Once (Y/N) saw Carter off she went to do the dishes leaving Tommy and Ryan outside in the cold sitting in front of the small fire pit, the air was thick with tension the sound of the crackling fire filled in the empty silence. Ryan lifted his cigarette pointing it in Tommy’s direction, “You, you Thomas Shelby have known my father for what three years?” 

Tommy exhaled blowing out the grey smoke into the air and took a swing of the Irish whiskey that filled his glass cup, “You got something against me?” Ryan chuckled lightly leaning back into the chair bringing his cigarette back to his lips to take a slow long drag before tossing it into the fire.

“Answer my question first Thomas.” 

Truth be told, yes Tommy did know Andrew for three years. 

“What if I did? What’s it got to do with you?” 

Ryan leaned forward in his seat his forearm’s resting on his thighs, “It has nothing to do with me, but with (Y/N). I know my father hired you to do something, and if you don’t tell (Y/N) sooner or later once she find’s out she won’t hesitate to put lead into that arrogant head of yours.”

Tommy watched Ryan rise from his seat leaving Tommy alone, “That secret of your’s Thomas, better share it with my sister if you want to have a chance with her.” Ryan slammed the french doors shut walking into the kitchen to bid his sister goodbye. 

“Hey! Is Tom still out there?” (Y/N) questioned as she filled the dishwasher with her briefly washed dishes pausing to walk her brother out, “Yeah, he’s having a smoke. I’m sorry about my behavior today, it’s just I don’t want him to end up like-”

(Y/N) placed her hand on Ryan’s shoulder squeezing it softly, “I know, I know Thomas won’t be like him. I understand that you want to look out for me, I also learned from my mistakes, I won’t let history repeat itself.” he smiled warmly placing a kiss on her cheek before ruffling her hair, she watched him exit the drive way slowly closing the door behind her and headed back into the kitchen. 

After she finished loading the dish washer she headed back out to accompany Tommy holding two freshly cut cigar’s, his gaze was fixed on the crackling fire the flames danced between one another as the moonlight enhanced his features. 

“Has anyone every told you, you’re beautiful?”

(Y/N) placed herself next to him handing him a cigar as she lit her with the fire, she took a few puffs and exhaled the grey smoke sighing as she felt her lungs burn slightly. She looked over at Tommy, effortlessly smoking the cigar. It was as if everything he does didn’t take much effort. 

“’lright, what are you tryin’ to distract me from this time?” 

She shook her head lightly looking back at Tommy then back up at the moon and huffed, “I’m being serious.” 

Tommy chuckled lightly standing from his seat and offered (Y/N) his hand, “Do you dance?” she shrugged lightly placing her cigar on the edge of the fire pit taking Tommy’s hand he lead her around the fire pit and towards the pavement that lead to the pool. 

He hummed a soft tune, placing his hand on her lower back pulling her closer to him as she hand one hand on his shoulder. They moved around slowly, her head now rest on his chest slightly vibrating from him humming and listening the small thumps of his heart. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard people call you beautiful.” Tommy questioned pulling away slightly to twirl her around causing a small giggle to erupt from her chest. 

(Y/N) sighed looking up into his beautiful ever-blue eyes “Many times yes, but you never answered my question.” Tommy chuckled lowly bringing the hand that rest on her back to her face brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“No one.” he answered simply as they swayed back and forth, she stood on her toes her lips ghosting over his lips ever so slightly that if one were to move just an inch closer they’d collide. 

“I’m honored to be the first person to tell you, Tommy Shelby are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” 

It happened in slow motion, Tommy leaned down closing the gap between them capturing her soft pink lips with his as they moved in sync. His rough cold hands cradled her soft cheeks, as she wrapped her arms his neck pulling him closer into her embrace. This was when time stood still, the world around them were silent, it was just to fragile hearts holding one another preventing the other from shattering. 

Dancing and kissing under the moonlight

Survey #143

“i’d rather be in battle than slaughtered like cattle.”

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming?  Sad, I had separation anxiety from Mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten?  No. Did you ever read the "Junie B. Jones" books?  LOVED THEM. Were you friends with your neighbors?  I was friends with a boy down the street. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games?  YESSSSS I LOVED THE BIRTHDAY PARTY ONE. What kinds of games did you play with your friends during Recess?  None really, we just played on the swings and such. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid?  Chocolate. Who were you last in an elevator with?  Mom. Do you know anyone that has a black belt in karate?  No. If you have a notepad in your phone, what do you use it for the most?  I have tattoo ideas on it lmao. Who is the last child that you took a photo with?  Aubree. How and where did you get your most recent cut?  On the side of my hand.  I was drying my feet off after a shower, and my toenail cut the fuck out of it. ;-;  Pretty sure the scar's gonna be permanent. Would you ever get a nature tattoo?  Yeah, sure. Do you have any locked texts messages?  A few from Sara. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname?  My sisters are just "Ash" and "Nicky." Which company provides your car insurance?  I don't have my own car. Have you ever ordered from an informercial?  Nope. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin?  Tattoo parlor in June to get a tattoo. Why did your last relationship end?  I didn't like him like that, I found. Do you have any tan lines?  No. Have you ever had any friends with benefits?  No. How old were you when you became financially independent from your parents?  Lol I'm not. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?  Ummmm probs salt and vinegar. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone?  No. What was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn?  What the super fuck even is Latin. Do you have any food intolerances or allergies?  No.  Well, without my medicine, bananas give me hellish heartburn. What’s the most number of people you’ve ever lived with?  Five.  Mom, Dad, two immediate sisters, and on different occasions my half-brother lived with us, then Dad's daughter stayed here a while. How many college degrees do you want?  Ideally, a master's because that's what is required to be an out-in-the-field zoologist.  I can do some things with lower ones, though. What do you look forward to most in the next two months?  Photographing my first wedding, my nephew's and mom's birthdays, going to see Sara in a little over two. What song explains how you feel about love?  "When It's Love" by Van Halen will always be way up there. Have you ever been IN a wedding?  Yeah, bridesmaid at Ash's. Have you ever been covered in mud?  Probably as a kid? Are there any books you wanna read?  I'm always gonna wanna read Rhett and Link's book, and I wanna start reading Wings of Fire 'cuz it sounds like something I'd like, thanks Sara. What classes are you taking in school? I'm not back in it yet. What is the last song you attempted to play on an instrument? I don't remember.  I took my guitar out months upon months ago to try and mess wi- OH, it was "Sweet Child O' Mine," and it went down horribly lmao. Could you handle being married to the last person you kissed?  That's the plan, buddy. Do you crack your knuckles?  No. How do you react when people sing “happy birthday” to you in a restaurant?  Get really shy and look down, but can't help but smile. Ever been shot by a paintball gun?  No. Have you ever had a significant other with a mental disorder?  Yes. Are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent?  The first. Have you ever tried Nutella?  I love that shit. Are there any activities which are “meant for children” that you still enjoy?  Yeah, movies, shows, games... Is there anything you wish you had started doing when you were younger that would have had an impact on or would have helped you with your life today?  Yeah.  I should've worked on social skills way sooner.  I should've fought back younger. Can you read lips?  Not at all. Are you part of any online communities? If so, which ones, and how did you get involved in them?  Only really KM, and because I've been in the meerkat RP community since '05. When vacuuming, do you have a set pattern or do you go willy-nilly?  Somewhat of a pattern. What’s your favorite kind of bread?  Pumpernickel. Who’s your favorite Muppet?  I don't have one. What’s your favorite monster? (can be Monsters Inc, horror films, stories, or myths, whatever)  Probably the Jersey Devil or Mothman.  Or the Dover Demon.  I like cryptozoological stuff okay. Have you ever considered shaving your head? Have you shaved it?  Noooooo. Have you ever seen a polar bear in person?  Yeah, at zoos. What’s your favorite school yard game? (4-Square, Kick the Can, etc)  I think it was called 4-Square... but I'm not sure. Have you ever boycotted anything?  No. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life?  Um you have no idea. Are you against smoking weed?  Yeah tbh.  However I know there's lots of evidence coming out proving some of its medical uses, but I'm still kinda.  Unsure about medical marijuana. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about your feelings?  Sara. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst?  Jason. Who were you dating this time last year?  Girt. Have you ever smoked pot?  I've only ever been in the presence of people smoking it. Are your ears gauged?  No. Have you ever played beer pong?  No. Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend or boyfriend?  I sure hope so. Would you hug your ex again?  A couple I would. Do you like to climb trees?  I wouldn't know. Name your three closest friends.  Sara, Colleen, then probably Alex?  Although she hasn't been talking to me lately. What is the best kind of Girl Scout cookie?  I loved the chocolate and PB ones. Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  To a degree, I like it.  Shows they really do care. What kind of jelly do you buy?  Grape. Is your dad overweight?  He's underweight. Do you know all the words to “Don’t Trust Me” by 3oh!3?  I don't feel like playing it in my head but maybe 'cuz that song was my shit. What movies have you cried to?  Oh yeesh, I'm a fucking baby.  The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Old Yeller, Logan, The Outsiders, Titanic, The Hunger Games (I think), and how could I almost forget Forrest Gump.  I knoooow there's more tho. Do you love substitute teachers?  No.  We would sit around doing nothing. Does your personality generally fall in line with gender stereotypes?  Not really? What’s your favorite movie soundtrack?  Off the top of my head, maybe Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows. If you could own any 3 fictional objects from any book/movie/show, what would you choose? (does not have to all be from the same book/movie/show)  I legitimately want to commission someone to make a wooden model of Lord Emon's mask from Shadow of the Colossus.  I want so much SotC stuff, but shit expensive man.  Ummm having the Seal of Metatron from SH3 would be an awesome lil collectable.  OH YEAH and why the hell not have a hearthstone from WoW so I can go home in a jiffy whenever I want. :'D How far away do you live from the last place you lived?  Like... 10-15 minutes? Do you know anyone who’s had their kids taken by Child Protective Services?  No. You’re in a food court, what do you feel like eating?  Pizza, probably. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk?  Yes, my younger sister.  She legit tried to go outside, but I obviously stopped her (I was the only one in the room). Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced?  Yes, and I would if I didn't have a damn retainer. If you had to move in with a friend, which one would you pick?  I'd move in with Sara any day. How does alcohol affect you?  Okay so I handle alcohol extremely well so I've never seen serious changes... but I do know if I'm tipsy, I'm more talkative and outgoing.  I don't think my face flushes anymore. When was the last time you had a cold or flu?  Holy shit I couldn't tell you for a cold.  I've never had the flu, thankfully. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation?  Girt and I watched a few episodes.  It wasn't bad, but the fact still stands that I can't really get into TV. What is your favorite kind of pasta?  Typical spaghetti and meatballs. What color is your shampoo?  Pink. Is there a special someone in your life right now?  Yes. If so, tell me your favorite thing about their personality and their looks:  She's strong as fuck and her smile's to die for. Ever made a guy cry?  Yeah. Has a guy ever made you cry?  For over a year straight lmao. What’s the worst goodbye you’ve ever had to say?  To Jason. What make up product do you never use? It'd be easier to tell you only what I do use.  I only ever wear eyeliner and then sometimes eye shadow, mascara, lipstick, and very rarely foundation. What is one place you have been to and hated?  Uhhhh idk. Have you ever seen a jellyfish?  In aquariums, yes.  So majestic. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? No. Have you ever done that to someone else?  No. Were you ever chased by an animal?  Only pets playfully. Have you ever started talking to someone that you thought was someone else?  Omfg I did this a good number of months back at the tat parlor and the embarrassment will stay with me forever. Name one person of the same sex as you that you wouldn’t mind dating? Okay so I'm not gonna be a smartass and say "my girlfriend," I'll actually answer this as if we weren't together.  I'd date Suzy Hanson in a heartbeat, come at me Arin.  Fuckin sweetheart. Do you know any vegans?  No. What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Sara: Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Buster, Mabel, Doris.  Idk the toads' and fishes' names yet.  Colleen: Miracle and Maxwell. When was the last time you were disappointed?  Two or so days ago, real bad.  Mom put aside buying the concert tickets regardless of how many times I reminded her, and now we can't go. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not my thing. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work?  No job. Do you see yourself married in the next five years?  Probably at least engaged.  Maybe married.

This is a bit of what went down is GS but is by no means every golden highlight I can think of, just got too long

Omfg, alright, so I just took an instant run down memory lane and now it’s STORY TIME. As some current information, I would still be in girl scouts right now had my troop not gotten disbanded. But uhhhhh, it did so there ended my “been doing this shit since kindergarten”

I could have joined one of the other local troops, but whenever we had more than my troop I usually wanted to hit a kid. I did not like kids from other troops and on more than one occasion this led to almost a brawl-- I had a hard enough time not decking my own troop members every week because they were all younger than me save for the leaders daughter (a few months older) and I had anger issues big time, my sisters usually hit the damn nail. (Save for this one really cute girl who was maybe a year older than me??? We were in a parade with her troop and she was cute. But we’ll get to why my mom and troop leader almost killed us all that night in a second.)

So we’ll start of the minor bs first. Now, my first year as a gs was spent with a different troop, there were 3 of us. So when that broke off I found a girl whose mom ran one and I joined. Automatically this was a much larger troop and much more rowdy so I should have seen something coming from the get-go, but no.

Now, the girl I had befriended was named C.C., she was the oldest of her own siblings, and to be perfectly honest, had I not been trapped in gs with her for years, I can safely say our relationship would probably be a lot more hostile, if we even knew each other. However, on more than one occasion over the years our pride got in our way as the two oldest girls in the troop and this lead to a few issues. I was gonna try to go in order but uhhhh, screw it. At one point we went camping and fucking uh, we got into a fight and she threw a fucking lamp at my head and then I tried to fucking jump her. We made up fast, but we broke the lamp and screwed a few other things up.

Also, our troop was really big on like, camping (but this site gave you everything so I mean????) and it used to be that all the adults could come on the trip and when they did they would have this special milk carton and it was the “grown up milk” and they told it was like, goat milk or 2% and we didn’t want any of that shit. So no way there. Yeah, as me and C.C. got older we realized they were drinking after most all of us were in the cabins asleep (these were not gs designated camp grounds, they were public places they did this). Just getting shit faced. Which led to them like, banning all adults except the troop leaders eventually.

Also, our secondary troop leader had this thing where she would like, moon people. And she thought this was the greatest god damn thing because she was, in her own words, “no way a small lady, so it’s a ‘bright’ full moon.” NONE OF US WERE SAFE. NONE!! She mooned every one of us, typically more than once. One time in public and we quickly scurried away from the cop that rounded the corner (running from cops happens on the down low more than once to us).

However, people outside the troop were never safe either. I brought my ex boyfriend along on a trip when were still together a few years back. It was around Christmas, the troop leaders kids didn’t want to go to the drive in show so there was space for him in the van. The only reason he came with is because his mom locked him out of his house while she was gone (a lie, his sister was home, he just wanted to hang around me more.) I warned him, WARNED HIM, that if I said turn around to do as I say, no questions asked, as fast as you register it. But god fucking forbid he listen to me. So, we went to the light show, I had my first kiss (regrettably) in a cramped van with my gs troop while no one was fucking looking. And this kept up!! A lot!! So when we got back to the house the two of us were outside and he kept trying to kiss me! and I told him it was a dumb idea, bad timing. So as soon as I pull back again the girls just burst the fuck onto the porch and just dumb popcorn on us. The secondary leader had thought this would be funny, I did not. And in a rage (anger issues, again) went into the house where they were losing in and im covered in popcorn, it’s everywhere on me, in my clothes, and I had to stop kissing my bf. So yeah, I was angry and flipped the hat off my mom head before storming back outside. Only moments later to hear the door open as I stood talking to him. The second my secondary leader stepped out and I saw the look on her face I whipped around where I stood and told him to do the same. Did he listen? No. (It’s fine, it was early punishment by the universe and I thank them.)

But those of us in the troop had it worse. Like, okay, the winter previously (I think it was before, maybe like 2 before??) we decided we wanted to go on the polar express. And it’s a Christmas only kind of deal so we racked up the money and went to go take the ride. Now first off- they told us there was unlimited hot chocolate. They were wrong. My troop kept getting more and eventually our car ran out for at least a bit. Second, there are still videos of the crew leading a ton of us down the isle doing like, some line dance thing/activity? Now, as far as the mooning goes. Oof. So, there’s of course curves on this train ride, we live in the mountains. And before we came up to one we didn’t see, our secondary leader stood up and mooned the two girls from our troop beside her!! I think they were being assholes but nothing was justifiable for what happened next. We hit the curve, and these two girls get there faces mushed against the window by the “full moon.”  To this day I feel sorry for these two.

I also scared the Santa who came around asking us what we wanted for Christmas because I very enthusiastically yelled “Soul Eater!”

Okay, so like, I’ve already forgotten a lot of what I was going to say!! But!! Girl Scout camping trips. Like, for actual ranks. Gods, the last one I ever went for was  a Cadet. Not the point, point is I should have had my gay awakening earlier, and I’m sure I did, I’m just fucking dumb met some hella people there. So aside from the fact I can never forget because I raced C.C. into a subways before going to a camp out, bit the dust, and now have a scar on my knee from eating concrete. Not the point though!! I went on one and when we got there we were put into the coldest, oldest, most run down site there. Further from everything else. We had gone a for the past few years, but this was the first that was a Cadet only deal for me and C.C. And automatically our neighbors are these chill girls!! They were cool. They were very social and I warmed up to them pretty quickly. There were 4 of them: Monkey (loved getting up into the rafters), Loud Mouth (Loudest and certainly the most out going), Katniss (loved the series), and No-name (Last day she decided on SugarHead).

I got closer to Loud Mouth more than any of the others and she did some bs, if was fucking hilarious. Also learned to never, never play truth or dare with them because it will go to hell, every time. There were so may cute people though!! So!! MANY!! But yeah, so we all picked our camp names. Mine still makes me cringe and I’m glad Loud Mouth just called me a nickname variation of it.

But uh, there was one girl I used to chat Soul Eater with, we exchanged numbers after camp but eventually we lost touch because I suck ass at communication and my phone got destroyed so I lost her number (same with another girl I used to talk to). There was also another camper named Cyprus. I thought it was a fake name but apparently not?? I loved her name. I met her when we I showed up to make a Harry Potter broom. A little late becuase again, furthest camp site from anyone, but for the most part we hit it off well at first, didn’t talk much at all the last day though. But it’s such an odd name,  and because all the campers were local, a few years back there was a girl at a con who could have been her from the vague memory I had and her friend goes “Hey Cyprus, look at this” and I just whipped around and worked up the nerve to ask if it was. It was not, but it was worth the ask.

Okay this went from like, borderline illegal to gay so one more thing-- the parade girl-- and we’re good. Because this if long as shit right now.

So my troop was in the parade every year, without fail we were in most of them at least. But we never, never missed being in the Christmas parade (god, for one year I just wanted to watch the damn thing, but no, we just had to be in it). So at some point in the year we decided to invite another local troop on with us, and of course I wasn’t the happiest about it. Until I got there and there was a hella cute girl there!! Like!! Hell yeah!! How the fuck did I think I was straight, this is just painful to relive all my gay ass moments in gs But the point is that it was cold as fuck for them and I’m a living ass heater, but I was not going to pas up hot food. Se we took off running, me, C.C. and this other girl, past our float and past a few others to get free hot apple cider. My mom was pissed but it;s hard to take her seriously when shes dressed like an elf. Next, we finish our cider and then up ahead we see a funnel cake car and we just lost it and take off yet again. We had enough money to get like two but before we could by any nice hot fluffy fc we were chased away by my mother and troop leader who were livid. But it was worth it.

But yeah, I loved gs, even when I grew away from it at the end. Didn’t realize I’d miss it as much as I did once we were disbanded by the council. But the shenanigans we got up to in the church that we met in the last few years were wonderful. I swear it’s fucking haunted though. I also feel asleep in the hallway one time texting my ex during a meeting. They just kinda left me. The secondary leader knew I wasn’t as interested in what she was getting the younger kids to do, and since the primary leader didn’t show up a lot over the last year I was allowed to just kind of chill in the kitchen with her while she made snacks. I was mostly the taste tester and ranted to her a lot about things.

Y’ALL STILL CATCH ME READY TO THROW HANDS WITH PEOPLE OVER COOKIES THO. LIKE, ALL THIS GS COOKIE FLAVORED SHIT HIT OUR SALES HARD IN OUR AREA AND WE HAD TO UP THE PRICE AGAIN, WHICH HIT US HARDER. I’LL STILL THROW DOWN OVER THAT. I am very, very passionate about cookie sells no matter how much I hated them.