#but it sure does make me feel good | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ruporas · 1 year

Photo

bound to want (part two) /// part one rest of pages under READ MORE after ID

[ID: 23 page digital comic of Vashwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic is in a limited palette of a dark blue, light pink, white, black, and a light beige color for Vash's skin and a mid-brown color for Wolfwood's. This comic is the second part to "Bound to Want" and is spoiler-free. The first part is linked here.

It begins with a panel close up of Vash's expressions. The sky colored in dark blue can be seen behind him. He has a neutral expression, but he holds a slight frown and the reflection of his glasses covers one side of his eyes. Wolfwood says, "Hey. What's with the distance?" In the second panel, the shot widens to show both of them, a clear physical distance separating them with Wolfwood walking ahead and Vash trailing a little behind. Vash responds, "What? I'm just walking a bit slower today..." Wolfwood looks at him with a an irritated expression, clicking his tongue. Wolfwood says, "I was going to wait for you to start... But yer just running away away."

Vash is seen looking away, unable to hold eye contact with Wolfwood as he continues, "You've been avoiding me since that night. Did ya think I wouldn't notice? It's about that dream, right? Tell me about it already if you're going to be moping like this." Vash looks slightly downwards, his brows furrowing and he starts to walk ahead of Wolfwood without looking at him and responds stiffly, "I really don't want to talk about it..." Wolfwood looks at him with a surprised expression, but doesn't probe.

A panel close up to Wolfwood's eyes as he watches Vash go on ahead before he follows suite with an irritated sigh. The panels are overlapped by Wolfwood's hand holding the bottle of the Bride with motion lines, indicating a transition in time.

A wide shot of Vash and Wolfwood in a room now. Vash is seated, his back turned away from the viewer, while Wolfwood's body faces the viewer with his eyes looking towards Vash. He rests the bottle of the Bride on the table with a "clack" and his other hand holds two shotglasses. The background is coated in a light pink.

A panel shows a close up of Wolfwood's face, his eyes looking downwards to Vash as he says, "Let's drink." Next to this panel is Vash looking up at Wolfwood, his brows furrowed and a slight frown. The bottom half of the page is a wider shot with Vash's body turned away from the viewer as he says, "I'm not going to talk about it." Wolfwood responds, "You don't have to." as he sits down.

A wide panel of Wolfwood holding the shotglass, pouring in the drink as he continues, "I'll talk." The next panel is a profile view of Wolfwood, his eyes looking down at the now filled shotglass as he continues to say, "You're..."

"... upset with me." Vash can be seen next to this speech bubble with narrowed eyes, looking towards Wolfwood. The panels are all coated in with a dark blue background. Wolfwood continues, "I can't be certain why since yer not telling me a thing -- but it's probably... my bad." The panels show Wolfwood about to bring the shotglass to his mouth but he turns way as he continued to speak, his eyes not on Vash. The bottom page shows him looking away completely with a guilty expression as he says, "I'm sorry.

If you can ever tell me why, I can try and adjust to make it more bearable. But if you're just trying to get rid of me--" The panels follow Wolfwood's certain expression as he says this, "I don't intend to leave you. I can't... and I won't." A panel shows Vash's wide-eyed expression, surprised upon hearing this, and then his eyes soften as Wolfwood again concludes with, "I'm sorry."

Vash's inner thoughts begins, a boxed speech at the center of the page and panels of his eyes, his brows furrowing again and a resigned, but frustrated expression. His thoughts starts, "Stop. I shouldn't be happy hearing that. And why are you apologizing? I should be the one to..! I can't let anything like that happen to you. You deserve to live a long steady and peaceful life. I want to be optimistic. I want to protect you, but I might end up doing the opposite." The text surrounds Wolfwood from Vash's perspective, the other man drinking out of his shotglass, his eyes downcasted.

"I shouldn't have you. And you won't leave." Behind these text is a panel of Wolfwood's eyes finally looking over to Vash. Vash's thoughts continues, "It's so unfair." When Wolfwood sees Vash, his eyes soften and he frowns. The last panel shows the lower half of Vash's face, but tears begins to flow down his cheek. Wolfwood's hand is already reaching to wipe at them as he starts to say, "You know..."

A wider shot of Vash and Wolfwood, Vash slightly leaning forward with his mouth tightly shut, and tears steadily continuing to flow out of his closed eyes. Wolfwood continues to wipe at them with his hand as he continues, "This isn't a dream anymore. I don't know what you saw for you to be this shaken up, but whatever happened, you'll overcome it, right? If not you, I'm here too. You'll be okay, Spikey. So..." Wolfwood's expression grows more tender, "Have a little faith in me... and come back already." The dark blue starts to fade.

The wide panel has the dark blue background faded and replaced is the light pink. It shows Vash in full up to his shoulders, his eyes are still tears littered, but there's light in them as he says, "Wolfwood..." making eye contact with the other. The next panel shows Wolfwood's tender expression, his eyes and brows fully soften and he has a small smile on his lips, finally seeing the other return a level of sincerity with him.

The next panel shows the bottom half of Wolfwood's face and his hand is offered towards Vash for a dance as he says, "C'mon. We don't have to talk, but this is okay, right?" The background is now white and a ribbon flowing across the page separates this panel from the next sequence. Vash's inner thoughts continus, "I've spent too long avoiding this. It's scary to want after I've taken so much from others." A sequence close up of their hands is shown, with Wolfwood's outstretched hand on the right and Vash's reaching hand on the left. Vash gently places his hand in Wolfwood and at the bottom, Wolfwood wraps his fingers across Vash's.

Throughout the page, a dark blue ribbon starts to flow around the both of them with confetti raining alongside the effect. Vash and Wolfwood are hand and hand, dancing together with Wolfwood as the lead. The viewer can see a peak of Vash's expression, full of fondness but also a hint of sorrow as he looks down at Wolfwood. His inner thoughts continue, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. But why is that even though I have these burdens, I still want to love you. I still want you to be by my side."

With a close up of their mouths, Vash's thoughts continue, the text covering his mouth, "Wolfwood, I--" Wolfwood's speech bubble covers Vash's text as he completes his sentence, "want you." Vash's eyes widen for one panel and in the next, his eyes spark, a blush appearing on his cheek and the confetti flows and spark. Tears ease up on his eyes again.

"Want me too already, Spikey." Wolfwood has leaned in enough to rest his head against Vash, a hand of his on Vash's neck, holding his nape and another hand pressed gently against his back. A ribbon separates this panel from the next, a mix of confetti flows across the page, as Vash envelopes Wolfwood in a hug too, holding him and his hand gripping tightly onto his back.

This page is just the ribbon flowly throughout the page on the white background, one white ribbon and the other a dark blue. Near the bottom, the ribbon envelopes each other in a loop. A conversation of Vash and Wolfwood is held over these ribbons, Vash starting to say, "What if I hurt you? What if you..?" Wolfwood responds, "You? How could you hurt me?" Vash, "You know what I mean... You see it everyday..." Wolfwood responds, "If you think I'm going to kick the bucket so easily, I suggest you look at me more closely from now on, idiot. I'm not that easy to get rid of."

The next page has the ribbon criss cross over the top of the page. Vash and Wolfwood can be seen in their dancing position again, Wolfwood now resting a hand on Vash's shoulder, as Vash takes the lead. Vash continues, "Well, I know that... I tried." Wolfwood responds, "But you won't anymore... since you want me... around, yeah?" Wolfwood's head cocks to the side, smiling with assurance, cheeks flushed. Vash looks at him with a wide smile and fond, loving eyes. The confetti flows across the bottom of this page and as it eases into the next page, it starts to disappear.

Vash responds, ".. Yeah... I do..." as he pulls Wolfwood into a hug again. Wolfwood says, "Not going to run away anymore, are you?" Vash says, "No... I trust you." A panel shows Wolfwood's turning away slightly with a shy expression, muttering "Geez..."

In a more simplified style, Wolfwood is seen gripping Vash's cheeks now with his hand, "Though... You do remember you avoided me for two weeks straight, right? How are you going to make that up to me?" Wolfwood asks. Vash responds with eyes closed and a pucker of his lips. A vein of irritation appears on Wolfwood's face. Wolfwood starts to squeeze at Vash's cheek with both hands, shouting, "Now that you've recovered, you're trying to be funny, huh?!" Vash says through the squished cheeks, "I'm just happy..."

The next page opens with a closed up panel of Vash's widen eye as Wolfwood's hand moves from squishing his cheeks to gently holding them and Wolfwood leans in. The inner thoughts starts again, "There's a chance I'm not making the right choice... My dreams, my fears of losing you, it will never go away. But you said you won't let it happen... And I want to hang onto your words closely this time. After all, if it's anyone who can make me believe, it's you." The white ribbon from previous pages flows across the page and it visibly ends at the bottom of the page, enclosing the two of them as they share a gentle kiss with Vash holding Wolfwood's face, a tear in his eye.

The next pages starts with Wolfwood saying, "You cryin' again?" Vash responds, "I'm just grateful..." Wolfwood responds, "But you've always had me." Vash responds, "Being like this is different from staring at you from behind all the time though..." The two can be seen together again, Wolfwood pressing his elbows against the table with Vash leaning over him. Wolfwood is easing the tears out of Vash's eye again, just like earlier. A close panel of Vash's fond expression is seen as he says, "Thank you, Wolfwood." Wolfwood looks up at him with a small smile, gentle eyes. Confetti starts to flow lightly across the page as text starts to appear against the white background, "I'm the one who's grateful...

That you'd embrace someone like me, when I'm not fit to hold you in the first place... But I know better than to hesitate. The moment I acknowledged it, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life loving you. So, have as much of me as you want, Vash."

The final page shows the confetti gently falling down the page and at the bottom shows Vash and Wolfwood pressing their foreheads together, Wolfwood's hands cupping the side of Vash's face gently, and both of them smiling brightly with each other. ID END]

#vashwood #trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #its done.... after 2 months.... collapses on the ground #theres a lot of things i would prob change about this but. its so sappy that it makes me a little happy where it ended up #they deserve a little sap too!!! and in the end this is the closest they could get to a first confession #through want! want in each other's life and company since they both have this strained relationship with keeping people permanent in their #lives... and the people or things that are tied to them in the long term tend to be something that harms them.#and as the saying goes -- good things never last! and im sure they prob gave up trying to find a good thing for a long time #vash managed to be found after the moon accident and got his good thing for a bit but even he prob knew itd come to an end eventually #ironically it was wolfwood that ended it. but he really just planted smth new for vash... and now they have some security #or at least vash does. or at least just for this one moment #a moment of bliss and feeling like they are deserving of love is so Fluctuating for vashwood #and ultimately i think wolfwood could only push onwards to initiate because he sensed there was smth vash wanted. and its just #naturally in wolfwood to give to those that he love #but anyway anyway.... i like to think in a sweet universe -- they had the chance to confess like this and got a little bit of time to #enjoy and share their company in this manner. to be a little less restrained and love each other freely #ruporas art

2K notes · View notes

sysig · 4 months

Photo

So much experimenting to be done, where to even start (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Papyrus #Sans #Mostly silliness :) Mostly :)#It's still fun to draw these two Gasters next to each other hehe ♪ Even interacting!#They're more similar than I think either of them would admit haha - ''No clearly we have very different ideals'' sure but you're both Gaster #I like the idea of classic being So Annoyed at any iteration of himself thinking positively towards humans haha #I mean it would probably hurt - that's a big piece of his trauma! - but on the surface it's just Ugh I can't believe this -.ó #I feel like they'd have a lot more common ground when it comes to their experiments tho - not a perfect Venn Diagram but enough!#Maybe even just different enough to offer a new perspective - enough to give them new ideas! Uh oh that's never a good thing lol #I do love Fell!Gaster just so pleased to be having a conversation haha so smiley - classic still not smiling but interested!#Cute face <3 #It was after making the Toriel comic that the thought Really occurred to me - like obviously I saw so I knew they were still in the gowns #But it took a bit for that to strike me as odd since I mean that's just what they wear! That's normal! For Handplates anyway #He talks a lot about isolating whatever it is in Monsters that Make Them Like That - what does that entail #Gaster no seriously what are you doing to them don't just smile actually reply #And as much as I like the boys being a bit more Fell-ish I've always been of the opinion that no matter what they're brothers!#They love each other <3 And in Fellplates they'd have to rely on each other even more than regular Underfell #If anything would cause some codependency it's the Handplates setup - no matter what version you throw at it!#They're still both delicate little things - they need each other to survive ♥ If Gaster is sometimes kind to them well...#Similar to Mercyplates but Not Quite hmmmm #At least sometimes doing cute and harmless things tho! Studies how they react to flowers and teaches them to make chains hehe ♪#There's also that Underfell thing of Sans calling UF!Papyrus ''Boss'' rather than ''Bro'' yeah? Doodling ideas around that haha #An opportunity to teach! Sans only came away with the basics tho it probably annoys Gaster lol #The idea of them doing cute harmless little things and /that/ being what gets under his skin hehehehe #And ending with a Babybones! :D Surely he'd have no problem being attached since they're meant to be good...? Surely

264 notes · View notes

dazais-guardian-angel · 8 months

Text

Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.

When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?

I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.

I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.

An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.

So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.

Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡

#bungou stray dogs #seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want #but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this #either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it #if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol #maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk #also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing #like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost #not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise #i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with #and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story #I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen #BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga #like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible #so I at least am still perfectly happy lol #(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already #please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda #Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS

336 notes · View notes

heartofarcanum · 5 months

Text

OK AND ANOTHER THING

I have to give credit to Amen and Evthys’s enemies to lovers plot and Amen’s character. How many times have I read “it’s enemies to lovers” and it’s just two people who sorta hated each other but now it’s fine. How many times have I read “he’s brooding and bad and has done horrible things” but he also saves kittens from trees and helps orphans in his spare time?

Like she pulled no punches. Amen wants to kill Evthys, he thinks about it often. Evthys knows he will kill her, knows and loves him almost against her will anyway. They know what they are, they know they’re destined for tragedy but they can’t help themselves. That is what enemies to lovers should be.

And the follow through with Amen. She told us the man is a monster and the man is in fact a monster. He doesn’t have a heart of gold, he doesn’t secretly help orphans or donate money in his spare time. He is a hunter, a killer, and he does not pretend or act otherwise. He tortures and he kills and he isn’t kind about it even when she asks him to be. There’s no way to excuse his actions and there shouldn’t be. There should be no “but it’s ok because” — it’s not ok, it’s fucked, and that’s the point.

Their relationship is fucked, but it’s what enemies to lovers is supposed to be. He’s what a morally gray character is supposed to be. These are not supposed to be happy or kind things. In scn they’re not sugar coated in any way and that’s part of what makes it just so freaking good.

If you hate Amen, good you’re supposed to. If you love Amen anyway, good you’re supposed to. That’s the trap and tragedy of enemies to lovers—it’s a car crash you can’t look away from, because no matter how bad it gets you’re always hoping they survive. You’re always hoping that somehow all of this will end and they’ll be happy, no matter how unlikely that is.

#I have brain rot how can I not #good GOD this book #I feel like I’m on a ledge rn fr #like she said he is a monster and he is a MONSTER #there’s no excuses to be made and he makes none and it does something for me #it was just all so well written #dia doing everything she could to the end #amen being completely unforgiving #he has not made a special exception for evthys he’s just not sure what she is yet #but what will he do when it comes down to the wire?#can he really kill her? even he doesn’t know #AND IT MAKES ME CRAZY #romance club #rc #song of the crimson nile #scn #rc amen #rc evthys #amen x evthys

141 notes · View notes

lulu2992 · 6 months

Text

So Greg Bryk regularly goes live on Instagram to chat with his followers and answer a few questions, and almost every time, someone asks if he’d like to play Joseph Seed again if he had the chance, to which he used to always reply that, yes, he absolutely would. However, in early 2022, he didn’t seem so sure anymore and said it would depend on the script (the question was specifically about a potential Far Cry 5 movie) and the writer(s). Then, a few months later, he implied he didn’t feel like playing the Father ever again because he thought the character’s story was “finished” and that Ubisoft should focus on creating new things instead…

Well, on October 14, 2023, he once again went live on Instagram and, when people mentioned Far Cry 5 in the chat, he revealed that he had reached out to Dan Hay and Drew Holmes, two of the game’s three main writers he’s become friends with, and that they had visited him “on set” (I’m not sure what he was shooting) the day before. In the past, he had already explained several times that he had loved working with them and thought the story they wrote (along with “JS”, Jean-Sébastien Décant, the game’s third main writer) was fantastic. This time, he added that Far Cry 5 was really “special” to him because the writers “cared a lot” about creating something great with amazing characters, and that he thought the whole Seed family was really well-written.

A few minutes later, when he was asked which character he would like to play again if he could, he said it was hard for him to choose because he loves them all, but he eventually picked Jeremy Danvers (Bitten) and Cobbs Pond (Frontier).

Then, surprisingly, he also mentioned Joseph.

I don’t know why he changed his mind again or if the fact he contacted Dan Hay (who doesn’t work for Ubisoft anymore) and Drew Holmes (who recently became the new IP Director for Far Cry) means anything, and I’m not sure I want more Far Cry 5 content to be released anyway (for continuity reasons), but I guess the Seed family’s return, as equally exciting and truly terrifying as this eventuality sounds to me, isn’t completely out of the question anymore in Greg Bryk’s mind!

#someone also asked if the book of joseph was canon but as expected he had no idea #actors rarely know that stuff and I’m not even sure he got to read it...#but yeah the boys’ awful childhood is definitely canon the writers have talked about it several times #far cry 5 #joseph seed #greg bryk #okay but... listen #I wondered if I was just imagining things when he first mentioned collapse during a live stream and I thought he looked a bit upset #the dlc wasn’t out yet but I was pessimistic so I concluded my fear probably was the reason he seemed unenthusiastic/disappointed to me #then when he said he didn’t feel like playing joseph anymore I once again wondered if it was because of collapse (which was now out)#but I told myself I was most likely influenced by my own negative opinion and he simply wanted to focus on new projects #but... now he’s happily talking about the original writers and how much they 'cared' about making something good #and he seems really enthusiatic again about possibly reprising the role in the future #so is he implying that he thought the other writers (the dlc’s)... didn’t 'care'?#does he also think there were problems with the seeds’ characterization in collapse??#is it possible that I wasn’t just projecting after all???#????#...okay maybe I’m still projecting #but the timing is a bit suspicious isn’t it?

78 notes · View notes

mayasaura · 2 years

Text

When it comes to John, I have zero interest in condemning him. First of all, it's boring. You mean destroying the world and lying to your friends about it is bad? Shocking. Groundbreaking character work.

Second of all, I'm just not all that comfortable with condemnation in general, not when it comes to whole-ass people. Actions, for sure. I am ready to wholeheartedly condemn pretty much every decision this man has ever made, but I'm only comfortable doing that with a side of compassion for the man himself. Tamsyn said once in an interview that some of the discussion she's seen about Harrow is unintentionally very cruel to people with mental illnesses, and I feel similarly seeing a lot of the discussion around John. If I'm going to try to figure out where he's coming from, why he did the things he did, and what he thought he was accomplishing by doing them, I'm not at all interested in coming at those questions with contempt or disgust.

To me, the main question when it comes to John is: What do you do when you feel that you're unforgivable? That you've fucked up so completely no one will ever love you again, unless you lie and trick them into it? How do you deal with shame? And while part of the answer is definitely "Holy shit, not like that," what I'm most interested in is: what should he have done instead? At what points in his narrative could he have changed his course? And at what point, if ever, did he become right about it being impossible for him to dial it back and turn around?

#I'm not sure I ENTIRELY grock where the series is going with this #because the philosophical framework centering forgiveness is a little strange to me #but I can roll with it #it seems like the same assumption that people are generally by nature neutral to good and always capable of change #just with an external actor providing an extra step #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #john gaius #emperor john gaius #anyway maybe it's a strange distinction to make but I'm absolutely down with talking about how incredibly fucked up he is #how outright evil most the shit he does is #and how it's poisoned the cultures of the Nine Houses from the top down #but when it comes to like.... reading him as if he's incapable of human feeling that kinda skeeves me out #and when it comes to how he fails to live up to every single one of his ideals #and destroys every relationship that's ever meant anything to him #I can only kind of pity him y'know #sooo long story short I promise to never claim that being unable to relate to other people or not feeling empathy makes you evil #pinky swear

605 notes · View notes

transmascutena · 2 months

Text

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

38 notes · View notes

ganondoodle · 9 months

Text

im listening to some zelda music compilations again and i gotta say 2 things

damn does the hyrule warriors, aoc included, line have some bangers or what

and damn, if you ignore the absolut blast i was having fighting koga, does totks music on its own make me feel things the game never did, like i dont wanna sound like i keep hating on it but man the music is SO GOOD in ways the game didnt deliver on and when i hear it i just kinda drift off into what id imagine the game being like with music like this and then be sad about the real one like the trailer music alone is just GOD what it made me think theyd dare do with the story after turning what was largely considered THE zelda gameplay so on its head, now surely totks gonna be daring in terms of story, its the most logical progressio-

oh :(

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #music gets to me on a level that no picture can #like when i hear the music i tear up!!!!#and yet the only times i got teary eyed when playing the game was whenever i fought koga bc i was so ecstatic to have him back #and the cutscene were gan does THAT face bc i laughed so hard about it i half cried #sorry gan #the cutscene before didnt phase me bc the story didnt hook me at all and i knew sonia was the dead wife trope #but i didnt expect that face from him and im pretty sure i burst out laughing despite trying my best to stay silent during cutscenes #anyway the music makes me mad bc its so good #some themes even have a distinct joe hisaishi feel to it and that on top of the ghibli aesthetic they borrowed from #but none of the good storytelling makes me so god damn frustrated sad #i fear the next game ngl

107 notes · View notes

uncanny-tranny · 8 months

Text

Your influence in this world doesn't need to be all-encompassing and World Changing. It can be small ripples. It can be gentle and easily missed.

Let yourself do small things. So often, people have this idea that to do "good things," it must be a grand gesture that changes every little thing. Honestly, that can be so intimidating and scary. We weren't meant to carry the world by ourselves. We each contribute, often in small ways, often in ways that aren't seen by everybody. But the people you affect might just take that kindness you gave them and let it light them home. Let yourself be that in whatever way you want. You don't need to carry the world alone.

#positivity #encouragment #encouraging words #ngl i gave a customer a lot of food for free because i could tell they were down on their luck and they deserve to eat #and i hope i contributed to them realizing this world will cherish them and they aren't forgotten #because it's scary not knowing if you can eat or drink or if you will be safe enough to sleep and while i don't know their story...#...does it matter if i do? i will do whatever i can to make sure the people around me are well-fed and taken care of #i think small things like this are honestly what make this life worth living #i don't think i would want to be here if it were not for moments like these #it's never not worth it to do what you can/are comfortable doing #and i hope it can come back around to reward you tenfold <3 #i used to labour under the idea that Changing the World is the only way you can 'be good'#and that made me scared to do small things like this. and i partially regret that. but i don't blame myself or anybody else who feel...#...the way i did. doing 'good things' can be scary and intimidating and it's okay to be uncertain or fearful. it's okay; i promise <3 #i just wanted to remind somebody that you don't have to change the world in one fell swoop. it's okay to Just Be #i love you (platonically) if you have read this far. i hope you do something kind for yourself #you - too - deserve good things. you deserve kindness and satisfaction and wonder

139 notes · View notes

sinfuego · 18 days

Text

Tbh, nothing has made me sympathize more with Kipperlilly Copperkettle than her anger issues.

Cause anger is an emotion we feel when we're missing something. When we need something and can't get it. It's a balm to make us feel better when things don't go our way.

When things aren't fair.

#d20 #dimension 20 #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 spoilers #fhjy #fantasy high spoilers #of course just cause you feel like things are unfair doesnt mean they actually are #and the reason why its an anger issue is cause the anger has befome detrimental #its warped from being somethjng to comfort you when you feel powerless to a tool you use against others when you fedl slighted #part of why anger issues are so hard to overcome is cause of how good it feels in the moment #even if you feel terrible guilt afterwards #the catharsis of releasing anger can be such a relief #that you dont even realise youve started looking for reasons to be angry #youre listing things that are terrible with the world just so you can feel better by getting angry at them #things like capitalism and people who bullied you and how your boss is a terrible racist #things that everyone can get angry over #until they get more personal and warps your judgment #“my boss called a group of immigrant a bunch of racial slurs” “his secretary was there too she can back me up”#“when i brought it up with her she says she wasnt payjng attention or something” “shes peobably racist too and thats why he hired her”#it becomes easier to make jumps like that instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt #easier to justify your anger with the smallest slights #until youre yelling at a pedestrian whe. you almost ran them over #“sure it was a red light but they shouldve paid attention and seen me coming too”#anyways this is all to say kipperlilly probably has some issues to deal with #idk if shes actually behind this plot or if shes being manipulated #doesmt stop her from being a total dick tho #but it does make me a little more sympathetic to her

34 notes · View notes

bonefall · 8 months

Note

wait, why can’t a decent amount of the members in proto-thunderclan not hunt?

A lot of them have serious physical disabilities! It's enough that it poses a logistical problem, which they are committed to overcoming together.

Thunder Storm's three legs makes him slower than his companions. He's ferociously powerful, but like a male lion, he has to rely on his "lionesses" to slow a large animal.

Bright Storm has asthma from her heroics trying to save SkyClan cats from a fire. She's taking that from Gray Wing, who is famously the first major death now. Like her son, she has a difficult time with chasing prey.

Bumble is dyspraxic. She's a terrible hunter and fighter and struggles with self-worth because OTHERS used it to dehumanize her, and continues to, even after an entire society forms out of love of her.

Sunlit Frost has permanent nerve damage in his arm from the fire, and ends up working so hard that it makes his disability worse. A bite on the good paw from Snake becomes infected after he refuses to sit out from digging graves after the First Battle; I am planning a chunky B-plot about Sunlit coming to terms with the fact he has to retire early.

That's FOUR major members of a small group with physical disabilities that make hunting hard or impossible. They have a lot of logistical problems that I will actually be exploring solutions to.

#One of the solutions will probably be a hog hunt which I'm excited for #As there's a bunch of things each person can do to help with that #It's really such a shame that canon is so hyperfixated on disabled cats feeling like they 'need to be useful' in a very well established--#Society where they CAN just be comfortably cared for #It frustrates me that the series keeps portraying that as a Good Thing and not either a tragedy of self-worth OR an exploration of--#SOCIAL ableism.#So for BB!DOTC I'm going to try and take aim at both #Ok then; let's TALK about a small underdog group who needs its members to contribute #And let's talk about how even THIS little group INNATELY values its members. How that is good and natural #And how there's NO excuse for the bigger group to be so cruel. It's not neccesity. It never was. It was spite.#Thunder Storm says 'The point of having a group at all is to care for each other. NOT to have it serve you.'#Man really comes out here like FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY. TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEED #And I am trying to think of how to stress how MUCH food SkyClan has. Like how I'll show that...#I'll definitely need to make sure to set up a lot during the time Thunder Storm is Clear Sky's acolyte.#Btw does that sound like a good word? Trying to figure out what Tribe cats call their apprentices #Because fuuuuck no I'm not calling them To-bes

125 notes · View notes

sofarsogoodsowhat · 14 days

Text

AUUUUGHHHHH MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD

#face #new stupid hat!!!!!#i had so much fucking fun. my boyfriend ended up going with me and staying the whole time :) he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to #we both got drunk i got really stoned we both talked to the dudes from the second band for a WHILE and got cheap leather from em #cuz their singer makes leather like cuffs and collars n that kinda shit #AND THEIR LEATHER IS SOURCED FROM A FUCKING REZ. ITS FUCKING INSANE ITS SO COOL #but also their singer was looking at my tattoos and was like HOW OLD ARE YOU??? and he looks like he’s around my moms age #so that made me feel really fucking good abt my tattoos .#they’re the band that had the heavy metal parking lot shirt #also!!!! talked to the guitarist from the first band outside (i want him BAD) and he got all excited when i said i loved his solos and their #set was fucking crazy and he gave me a couple stickers and then when me and my bf’s bf were talking to the singer from the second band #the guitarist from the first one comes over and starts talking to me again and says he likes my shirt and then he was like yeah man i saw #you out there and i was like damn this seems like the kinda guy that’ll love this set i fucking hope he does I think i’m in love with him.#listen to takacs (columbus based??) + razorblade (pittsburgh)#apparently ppl at thrash shows like my tattoos! i need 2 look into the local thrash scene more

22 notes · View notes

sysig · 3 months

Photo

Experimentation (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Papyrus #Continuing the theme of memories and what Gaster ruined for them haha #He doesn't even have to be here and he's making their lives harder! Par for the course #Lots of things have the potential to trigger their memories - a familiar smell or a food they recognize #But there were so many things they never experienced and sifting between them is very difficult!#Especially considering most of what they ''remember'' is actually just their Reaction to Something - like the smoke smell making them tense #Sans here getting a Reaction for sure tho - being questioned and experimented on does Not feel good #It's Papyrus doing it so that's one thing but even still - not having fun with this #Papyrus is so curious! He wants to know! He always seems to be a bit left out on finding things out haha #Sans being the more science-minded of the two probably has an impact there - ask your brother he'll help figure it out #Unless he really doesn't want to because it feels weird please stop (lol)#Still tho being asked to eat things as an experiment? ''oh hey bro maybe going to grillby's will remind me of something'' ''SANS'' lol #Papyrus didn't mean anything by continuing to ask questions he's just curious!#Sans goes to write down the results and then feels Even Worse so scribbles them out #''don't tell me what to do!'' directed nowhere in particular #Tries really hard to put it out of him mind A Lot #This remembering business sure is uncomfortable!#Look what you did Gaster you took a perfectly fun data-gathering session and turned it into something they'll need therapy for!

28 notes · View notes

melobin · 21 days

Text

i do believe you all followed me because of writing sorry you have to deal with the deeply mentally ill girl that comes with it.. slight rant in tags ? i guess ? ily all anyhow

#this year has been so horrible LMAO #every other week something new is popping up #like i thought it couldn’t get worse and then it does #idk how i’m coping (im not)!!#but i really wanna be here and be able to post and write and give you all the good content you followed for but i do genuinely feel like #i’ve been lacking a lot lately and i’m sorry for that #i’m talking to my doctor about upping my meds and going back to therapy #and just trying to do things to make me feel better rather than offing myself #melo will be okay i’m sure of it but im trying my hardest i promise #✧ melody posts

23 notes · View notes

soldier-poet-king · 1 month

Text

Will my suffering never cease

- went to good Friday evening service even tho it's not a day of obligation, didn't go yesterday evening to Maundy Thursday for a variety of reasons

- priest manages to fit homophobia and transphobia into his sermon. Not even gay marriage. Just unions, that let ppl share taxes and have hospital visiting rights. And big bad scary surgery. Like. Completely unrelated to the matter at hand. Says SO LITTLE abt the Passion, managed to talk for 10 minutes without really saying ANYTHING. Takes Pilate's 'what is truth' and instead of engaging in the long philosophical and theological discussion around that question, decides to use it as a rallying cry against wokeism and a godless progressive society.

- my two ex best friends were there. Ran into them. + One's husband, who I introduced her to a decade ago. Like I'm mostly over that, no longer shitty and resentful, fully know that it was partially my fault and born from my own terribleness at 19 and undiagnosed untreated mental illness. Still uhhh hurts tho??? As a reminder?

- music bad. Ok I'm petty. I'll give the trads (1) point. I don't like guitar mass. I will NOT agree with the trads in assigning moral weight to my aesthetic preference. It's simply a preference, which does not make any musical form inherently superior to the others. But the triduum really lends itself to Latin hymns and chants, in my heart. My other fave church music is traditional Black spirituals. I would greatly prefer either. But just. If it sounds like an acoustic version of a pop love song. I just. I can't. I KNOW I'm the weird about Jesus romantically girlie. But I am not vibin with this folks

Literally would have simply Walked Out. Hit da bricks during the homily. But was with my family so 1) cannot out myself 2) did not have house keys on me, so I was suck regardless

Anyway I said I wasn't going to do fun things today but I'm so upset and cranky and I did chores all day, I am going to catch up on dungeon meshi. Marcille is my best favourite cringefail girl I'm obsessed with her and surely the wlw neurotic fussy mage who loves her friends will not betray me like this

#the duality of fran #faith tag #also like #.highly unlikely that i was the only closeted queer person there #and obvs extra full of the triduum a lot of non regulars attending #so GLAD that they decided to make it such a lovely and welcoming environment for THE BIGGEST MOST SIGNIFICANT WEEKEND IN THE FAITH.#surely this will encourage people and make them feel welcome and loved and cared for #yes yes there's that flannery oconnor bit abt not judging priests harshly #but also. its one thing to have a bad homily #not discussing the philosophy of pilates question is fine. i get most ppl are not versed in greco roman thought #but the absolute just. whining reactionary social conservatism #ON GOOD FRIDAY???#even going as far as to be like 'those few of us who keep the faith'#okay sir. this isnt some uwu im so special and faithful unlike all those abomination degenerate queers #gonna get gay married for tax purposes/green card out of spite #(green card both ways i can get u cad citizenship lmao)#remove my reproductive system. idgaf. uterus free to a good home. all it does is give me health problems anyway #tho that last one is less dysphoria and more just. it's a fuckin pain in my ass medically speaking #also the triduum is THEE celebration for the gay chrisitans. its john the beloved. its judas. its projecting for us ok

26 notes · View notes