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deltaruminations · 3 months

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rambling some more about a multi-route story structure, player’s relationship to the game, weird route, etc.

one assumption i make consistently when theorizing is that, even if the prophecy is to some degree a fabrication, there is some amount of truth to the idea that a problem exists in deltarune’s world outside of the player’s or gaster’s present meddling. maybe ralsei/the prophecy calls it “the roaring,” gaster calls it “darkness falling,” maybe the player calls it a “bad ending,” but something had already gone materially wrong in the world before the whole game project or whatever started and it doomed the world’s future. i tend to assume that it’s the reason for the project in the first place — gaster wants a NEW FUTURE because he thinks the current one sucks. deltarune has “one ending” and he hates it. he wants a different one.

at this point, i think the prophecy is less an outright lie and more of a hypothesis — there is a real problem in the universe, and the prophecy is an educated guess at a solution: close the fountains, stop “the roaring.” gaster may sincerely hope that this guess is correct, but he knows there’s a good chance it’ll fail. he may even be expecting it to fail. and when it does, what’s the next logical step but to take those findings and isolate another set of variables? just closing the fountains didn’t work, so what if you collect all of the shadow crystals too? will that change anything? and what if that still doesn’t work? what if the only option left involves hurting many people? is that really so bad if the alternative is for everyone to suffer? and if that doesn’t work… if nothing works… no, something has to work. something has to work. something has to work.

and that, i think, is where the deception lies — the player is being drawn into participating in this experiment through the promise of a good ending, without being told that this outcome isn’t actually guaranteed. the goalposts keep moving, the requirements for a good ending keep changing, because gaster doesn’t actually know what those requirements are or if the outcome is even possible at all. the only way for him to know is for him to experiment, and he can’t do that without the player’s continued participation. he puts an unwitting player into a position of responsibility for these characters and uses that sense of responsibility and attachment to the world to draw the player deep, deeper, yet deeper into a mission they may not have agreed to if they’d known upfront that it might only end in failure.

with that in mind, if we say that the weird route will ultimately be a necessary mode of play in the context of the full game, i don’t think it’s meant to communicate a message that the violence of that route is inherently worthwhile to a broader Good. rather, the weird route may be a simulation of powerlessness and desperation, the player — like noelle, like kris — being impelled and/or coerced to Proceed in a situation where there are no good options, but they’re still unable to say “no” to whoever or whatever is limiting those options. sure, the player can turn off the game and never return, but doesn’t that mean darkness will fall on deltarune’s world anyway? there are only two options here: stop playing, and ensure calamity, or proceed and see if calamity might be prevented. again, this isn’t necessarily a lie on our facilitator’s part — it may be entirely true that darkness will fall without our help — but it doesn’t change the fact of the manipulation. the information that the player might be expected to do something like a weird route, if necessary, was withheld from them until the moment they were impelled to do it.

and i think it’s unlikely that the weird route, on its own, will end any better than a normal route. if we believe that the problem is, in fact, real, then it’s unlikely that simply ignoring the storyline altogether to violently destabilize the world even further will, in and of itself, fix whatever is causing it to end so badly. what it might do is wake up the characters and/or the player to the situation they’re in, and cause them to question the choices they’ve been given, as well as the choices they haven’t, and why they’re stuck with these choices at all. it might trigger confrontation of the power structure itself — perhaps gaster himself, and whatever secrets he may be keeping, and/or the Narrative as a force beyond even him.

if we take these things to be true -- that the problem is real, that the fate to be changed is truly a cruel one, and that the player's involvement is instrumental in that change -- then gaster in this case isn’t necessarily a control freak or cunning manipulator by nature or by preference. he, like the player, may be a well-meaning person in a desperate situation whose own choices are drastically limited by a material situation he can’t control. like a player, his position out-of-bounds gives him unique insight and knowledge, a unique ability to problem-solve and possibly save people, but it also renders him a ghost; he can’t impact the material world directly. he’s effectively helpless without the player's cooperation, like the player is without kris. the player justifies controlling kris because it’s the only option they’re given — and again, not acting through kris means the world will end and kris will suffer regardless. the manipulation isn’t morally right in itself, but it might at least be understandable. from his perspective, he needs to do everything he can to keep the player engaged and avoid alienating them, because there's no way for him to help otherwise. and doesn't he have a responsibility to help? he seems to think he does, at least. he’s a parallel to the audience, no more evil than we are, yet no less culpable for his actions in a desperate struggle for power against a narrative that doesn’t want to be changed.

anyway i don’t know how to conclude this. video jame

#$ 666 mystery man lore hell

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asma-al-husna · 4 days

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Allah calls Himself Al-Khaaliq— The Creator, or the Maker— on 11 occasions in the Quran. He is the One who creates everything from nothing. Al-Khaaliq invents and perfects according to His will and with the knowledge of what will happen!

The Creator, the Maker, the Planner

Khaaliq or Khallaaq (intensification) comes from the root khaa-laam-qaaf which points to three main meanings. The first main meaning is to measure accurately or to proportion one thing according to another and the second is to create something based on a devised model or pattern. The third main meaning is to bring a thing into existence from non-existence and after making it exist, to change it to something else.

This root appears 261 times in the Quran in eight derived forms. Examples of these forms are khalaqakum (“created you”), khuluqin (“of moral character”), and ikhtilaaqun (“a fabrication”).

Linguistically, khalq refers to creating, making, and giving measurement. Al-Khaaliq is the One who created the material and time present in the universe, gave matter to its properties and set in motion its laws. He has total control over everything and manages all its affairs but is independent of all that He created. Allah alone is the creator and all the rest is creation.

Al-Khaaliq Himself says: He is Allah, the Creator, the Inventor, the Fashioner; to Him belong the best names [Quran 59:24] Say, ‘Allah is the Creator of all things, and He is the One, the Prevailing.’ [Quran, 13:16] and That is Allah, your Lord, Creator of all things; there is no deity except Him, so how are you deluded? [Quran, 40:62]

The product of Allah

Allah ‘azza wajal mentions in the Quran that He is ahsaanul khaaliqeen, the best of creators. This is meant metaphorically— there are no other creators. When we look at tawheed— our belief in the oneness of Allah— we see two aspects: the unity of Allah and the unity of the creation. They are not mixed in any way, the creation is the product of Allah Al-Khaaliq.

For example a chair: the cotton fabric comes from plants, the metal from rocks, and the wood from trees; all that people did is reassemble these sources into a piece of furniture. Human beings manipulate or reassemble that which already exists— we cannot and will never create anything.

A mind-blowing argument

Most ayaat of the Quran are a reminder for those who believe in Allah ‘azza wa jall, reminding them of Him as Creator and how to praise and be thankful to Him. In a few ayaat Al-Khaaliq powerfully presents the truth to atheists: Or were they created by nothing, or were they the creators [of themselves]? Or did they create the heavens and the earth? Rather, they are not certain. [Quran, 52:35-36]

The argument starts with Allah ‘azza wa jall giving the atheists a first option: if they don’t believe in a creator then were they created from nothing? Nothing cannot produce something, that’s the first option cancelled.

Allah gives them a second option: then, did you create yourselves? If you didn’t exist then you can’t do any creating. Allah ‘azza wa jall continues: did you create the heavens and the earth? Even if they claim to have created themselves, did they create the vast heavens and earth? Indeed, they are uncertain; somebody had to create them. Al-Khaaliq leaves mankind with these two options to think about. That is the logic of belief in Allah ‘azza wa jall, and the believers should be able to convey these ayaat or verses.

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Strengthen your relationship with al-Khaaliq.

If there is anything you desire, ask the One who creates everything; if you desire children ask Al-Khaaliq, but also turn to Him for the smallest matters. The Messenger of Allah salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: Each of you should ask for his needs from Allah, even if the strap of your sandal breaks, because if Allah does not facilitate it, it will never be possible. [At-Tirmidhee] No evil eye, magic, or any force on earth can prevent what Al-Khaaliq has destined to come into existence. Firawn tried his best to prevent Musa ‘alayhi sallam from coming into being and growing up to destroy his kingdom, but when Al-Khaaliq decides to create something it will be! So ask Him for all your needs and wishes.

2. Don’t fear created things.

Don’t fear the creation, only fear the Creator. Stop fearing people’s opinions, poverty, failure, etc., and focus on pleasing Al-Khaaliq. He will suffice for your needs. Our problem is that we often try to please people while angering Allah ‘azza wa jall, like joining in backbiting to be “cool.” The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: Whoever sought the pleasure of Allah though it was displeasing to the people then Allah becomes pleased with him, and will make the people pleased with him, and whoever sought the pleasure of the people though it was displeasing to Allah then Allah becomes displeased with him and will make the people displeased with him. [Ibn Hibban, At-Tirmidhee]

3. Don’t call people “creator.”

In the English language “to create,” is also used in the senses of forming, producing, or making. However, referring to “creating” we must not use it for people in the sense of making something existent from nothing, calling people “creator.”

4. Look at nature.

Allah al-Khaaliq says: You do not see in the creation of the Most Merciful any inconsistency. So return [your] vision [to the sky] -don’t be content with just one look, look more times and see- are there any breaks [Quran, 67:3] And the earth – We spread it out and cast therein firmly set mountains and made grow therein [something] of every beautiful kind, Giving insight and a reminder for every servant who turns [to Allah]. [Quran 50: 7-8] Form a new habit: take at least five minutes each day to sit down, day or night, and actively look around you, remember Al-Khaaliq, and stand before Him.

O Allah, Al-Khaaliq, we know that You are the Creator of all that existed, exists, and will exist. Lead us to unshakable belief in you as our Creator and let us never ascribe partners to You. Guide us to please You and to ask You for our needs and wishes, awaken us to reflect on the creation, and make us of those who are good in form and good in manners, ameen!

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armorabs · 8 months

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Sandy sent her past self to Kamp Koral to destroy the secret formula so it could be safely rediscovered in the future and preserve the timeline, but the episode that introduces Gary reveals that the show takes place a year after the summer shown in Sponge On The Run, so was this a plan in the making for two years? Well, SpongeBob encouraged Sandy to follow her dream to become a scientist when they first met, and maybe Sandy wanted to return the favor by inventing the hydro-dynamic spatula that helped him achieve his dream to become a fry cook since we never actually see SpongeBob find it onscreen in the pilot, which possibly even could've been how Sandy's past and future selves found out they needed to prevent the formula from being created when it wasn't supposed to in the first place.

my interpretation of spongebob "encouraging" sandy to follow her dream of becoming a scientist is... this scene was specifically engineered by the sandys. it's manufactured to facilitate the new timeline.

you can either take this to mean it isn't sincere and their relationship is based on a lie in this timeline (i don't, for the record) OR. you can take this as A) a testament to how much sandy cares about spongebob that she wants to preserve the strength of her friendship with spongebob even under new circumstances and/or B) an attempt to recapture the way spongebob made sandy feel at home and appreciated in bikini bottom in the original timeline, under new circumstances

we are shown in kamp koral that the young sandy is not entirely sincere with her cabinmates, hiding a lot from them - such as the fact she is actively making adjustments to the timeline under the guidance of her older self. since she's only at the camp because of her future self, who she already knows to be a scientist, the young sandy doesn't actually need that encouragement because she already knows she'll be a scientist. but both sandy's knew they needed an organic push to form a strong bond between young spongebob and sandy - so since sandy is said to have felt out of place even at home in texas in the spongebob musical, they play that up for the young spongebob. it's not completely a lie, she did feel like it as an unrealistic goal that would put her at odds with her peers... but its not something that actually bothers her by the time she meets spongebob in this timeline, because of her older self.

as for the formula not meant to be created yet... i think that's a subjective opinion on sandy's part. i think referring to her intervention as "preserving the timeline" is also subjective - it's based entirely on what she thinks is right, based entirely on how she thinks the timeline should go even if it isn't something she ever experienced. it may be based on her findings while studying other dimensions and alternate timelines, time travel has come up enough that she could have studied its effects. but how can you statistically prove that one timeline, one dimension, one universe is the ONE TRUE TIMELINE? logistically, it doesn't make sense.

she wasn't present for friend or foe but she's friends with both plankton AND krabs so reasonably would have found out about their falling out and, while experimenting with multiversal travel discovers variations of the timeline where they don't fall out over the formula as kids (friend or foe: trash bash) or that the formula is a family recipe passed down for generations (dunces and dragons) or that the two simply chose a different pursuit than the krabby patty (bikini bottom 2's cookie bucket) and decided that it seems like the formula being created when the two were children was a chronological anomaly and intervened. but is her perspective a universal truth? i don't think so.

(shrugs) sandy inventing the hydro-dynamic spatula could still tie into this but i don't know.

#IS THIS THE KRUSTY KRAB?#sb timelineposting

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shawnjacksonsbs · 2 years

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Notes.

They're almost always notes.

Sometimes they're not,

Like this one almost wasn't,

But then it was, or is.

Thoughts, intrusive and sporadic finding their way out of me as I searched for what to write about and how.

Notes strung together,

Either edited with love or just raw, like straight copied and pasted from Messenger to Word to here.

Both ways are because I care about you and now, because I care about me too.

Both ways you heard what I said, and hopefully felt what I meant.

So, without further ado;

My Notes 4-30-22

"You're right. Everyone has different experiences and . . .in turn, different levels of wisdom.

Everyone has wisdom. Some more so than others.

It's what you choose to do with it that determines what kind of person you are trying to become." – me

Let me start with a thank you to all of you who are, or still are, reading my wrotes.

Sometimes it's a mixture. Like it's a bit of both. Where I edit just enough for context and content, but not enough to lose its . . .purer form. Sometimes sharing them the way they come through is half a message in and of itself. These were on delay. . . until they weren't. Then, like I said before, intrusive and very sporadic starting early yesterday evening.

(Side-note, “All words are made up” - Thor) Personly is like worldly, but with person. Anyway . . .that’s just for future clarification.

I think I’m trying to fill the middle with the other people and use me on the edges, (top and bottom edges of course). This is what I choose to do with my limited wisdom.

Wisdom can unfold in so many different ways. Lol

There was a class I took, and later facilitated, during my first incarceration called Long Distance Dads. It taught me a few things. Number one among those things was consistency and why it’s so important in the development of children.

Meaning if you were going to be in the child's life then be in it. All in.

If you weren't, and you would rather be a deadbeat then be that always too.

What fucked up kids more often than not, was the whole bopping in and out irregularly in the lives of those little people who loved you with their whole hearts. You know how drug addicts do.

It gives them unreasonable, and irrational views on relationships, boundaries, and just how to love, how to be loved or what it means to truly love...and be accepted.

It confuses them. Period.

Consistency.

Come to find out it can help aide in other parts of life. Or at least it can, and did, in my life.

Like always telling the truth means people will start realizing you aren't going to be the guy that lies to them.

Or being responsible for me and mine. People will begin to recognize your character based on your consistency.

Not to mention, that with someone as broken as I was, routine (a.k.a. consistency) helped keep a whole lot of that shit in check for me as well. Life is just easier this way. . .for me. The next right thing isn’t as questionable this way.

Finding my way through isn’t a kept secret either. I find my answers in here a lot, consistently.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” And this, very hard-won war, comes in small micro dosing battles for me still.

I said I’m not perfect. Not even close. I fall short here sometimes. Sometimes it's the "not being taken seriously" that makes it serious for me.

But . . .

Like . . .

Just help me work on this to improve a little every day, as I show a good path of discovery in this direction to those who also feel attacked. Lol, but also, no lol

It is easier this way. . .for me.

When I speak, or better yet, when I want to be heard, does my responsibility lie with telling the truth or does it lie with just not telling lies? This also character defining. Is it not?

Continue to share your love and laughter and remember that the world is a much better place to be with your smile in it making it brighter and more beautiful.

Also, be kind as always as you can and speak your gratitudes out loud into the universe and watch as you gain more things to be grateful for. Some believe it’s a scientific fact, but . . . you really have to believe what you’re calling your gratitudes.

Until next week;

"I wonder why I quote me when I could just put that thought in the actual entry and save this spot for a more . . .other personly quotation." – Umm, also me

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one-chicago-fanfiction · 2 years

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Camp NaNo Fics #1: The Punch

Word Count: 3k Pairing: Connor/Will Warnings: Homophobia, use of a homophobic slur by a cishet character, which is later repeated by a queer character.

Summary: AU version of the time Connor punched Cornelius. Connor and Will have been dating for a while now. Connor has never discussed this with his father, but Cornelius has seen them together. Ever since that day, Connor has known something like this was coming. The latest hospital benefit is a good a place as any...

The punch came out of nowhere. The benefit was in full swing, a quiet, dignified event to celebrate another one of Cornelius Rhodes’ generous donations to the hospital, this time allowing them to expand the emergency department. It was something to be celebrated, sure. Connor knew that. It was going to help a lot of people, and on the outside would look like a rich man’s simple kindness, a near casual act of selflessness, a golden plaque on the wall to commemorate his very giving spirit.

But Connor knew the truth

Or, at the very least, he knew a different side of it, everyone else basking in the glow of the donation while Connor saw the gesture for its shadows. His father had taken little to do with the hospital since the grand opening of the psych ward his last donation had facilitated. Connor had asserted himself a little, made threats without ever saying anything threatening, reminding his father that Connor knew enough of his dark secrets to be someone Cornelius shouldn’t want to provoke. Things had been settled after that, for a while. Almost a year, actually, and even as everyone had clapped for Cornelius Rhodes as he took the stage, Connor couldn’t help the nagging feeling that this was about him. His relationship with Will, to be specific.

Connor and Will hadn’t liked each other much to start with. There’d been a spark there, of sorts, but it was the kind that burned, not warmed. Connor saw the way people looked at the two of them together, the way they’d watch them as if the moments of tension—the recurring disagreements—meant something more than they did. It took Connor a while to realise that he’d gone from thinking Will was an ass, to wishing Will was there when things were bad, to taking some sort of comfort in him even before that first kiss at Molly’s, even before they truly became something more.

Cornelius had spotted them in public one day, hand in hand in the city, and since then Connor had known something like this was coming, known it from the moment he’d met his father’s eye across some department store that day, the way his lips had curled into a smirk, the way Connor had never had to tell his father he was gay, the way his father simply turned his back and kept walking. It was the closest Connor had come to a panic attack in years, his stomach dropping, his chest going tight, Will talking him through it as they burst back out onto the street, cold Chicago air to soothe his lungs, Will’s hand on his back. “It’s okay, Connor. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Connor hated that his father could still have this affect on him. Like he was a kid all over again, like part of him still lived in that house.

Will wasn’t at the benefit tonight. Will was holding fort in the ED, sending him occasional texts in quiet moments. And Connor was on high alert even before his father approached him at the bar, speeches done, plaque accepted. Even Claire wasn’t here this time. It was Connor, and his colleagues whose gratitude wasn’t as complicated as Connor’s own.

“So,” came the voice from behind him. “How many lives do we think our new ED might save per year?” Connor’s eyes slipped shut. He downed his whiskey, felt the burn in his throat as he turned to face his father.

“Yep,” was all he said, voice strained with the drink. He made to walk away and Cornelius put his arm out, not touching Connor, but halting him all the same.

“I’ve done a good thing here,” he said. “Don’t you think that entitles me to a little—conversation?”

“What do you wanna talk about, dad?” Connor asked, his voice low, going right back to clenching his jaw as his father shrugged in response.

“How’s your life going?” He asked, that almost sarcastic undertone driving Connor to grind his teeth right there at the bar. “I hardly know anything about you, son.”

“You’re talking about my relationship,” Connor said, and Cornelius tipped his head to the side.

“Imagine my surprise when I saw you two together,” he said. “No man expects to see his son like that.”

“Holding hands with someone they love?” Connor asked.

“You know what I mean,” Cornelius said.

“Come on,” Connor scoffed. “You and I both know this doesn’t matter to you. You’re just looking for any little thing you can use against me. It’s not gonna work.”

“I’m just worried, son,” his father said. “Modern day it might be, but that doesn’t mean people don’t talk. And it doesn’t mean people won’t pass you over in your career going forward. People still get uncomfortable about these things, you know.”

“People like you,” Connor nodded, folding his arms across his chest, that tiny extra bit of distance between them, the vague awareness that Doctor Charles—suit and tie and hair done nice—was watching them from the other side of the room now.

“Now that’s a hateful statement,” said Cornelius. Connor’s heart was slamming in his chest. Years of experience with dealing with his father, and still the adrenaline was flooding sickly through him, feeling how his fingers trembled, even his legs. But he kept his expression fixed, closed, jaw clenched, pissed off more than anything else. Done.

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” said Connor. “I’m not having any conversation with you.”

“Then why are you here?” Cornelius asked. “Seems to me like you knew this conversation was coming. I know you saw me that day in the department store. You and your—friend.”

“Come on,” Connor said.

“Do you hear what people are saying about you, Connor?” His father asked. Connor had long hated the way his name sounded when his father said it. He swallowed hard.

“I don’t care.”

“You should,” he said. “People are talking already, son. I’ve heard it. People are coming to me—important people, Connor—telling me they’ve heard my son is…”

“Is—what?” Connor asked, words clipped, hands already balled into fists. Cornelius held his hands up, still smirking. Across the room, Doctor Charles kept watching.

“Think about your future, son,” he said. “I’ve heard a lot of rumours about your redheaded friend, none of them very flattering. By all accounts he’s reckless, hotheaded.” Connor bit his tongue. He knew Will now, understood him. All Will wanted was to save people.

“He’s a good doctor,” Connor said. Cornelius made a face.

“Do you really see a life for yourself like that—dating some Southside fag?”

Connor didn’t plan the punch. He would realise almost the instant his fist connected with his father’s jaw that Cornelius had probably planned it, bad publicity for the hospital’s rising star surgeon, the son of a million dollar donor creating a violent scene at the benefit. None of that was going to look good.

Cornelius Rhodes fell hard. Connor heard the smack of it, the sharp sound of his fist against his father’s jaw. The crash of a grown man careening to the floor, the way the adrenaline staved off the pain in his hand for only a matter of seconds. It wasn’t until his father was on the ground, looking up at him, fingers at his jaw where Connor had struck him, that the pain began to set in, sharp, clawing, something broken deep within.

“What a name you’re making for yourself,” Cornelius said, voice low against the clamour, people rushing towards them suddenly. Connor scrubbed his good hand over his face, and turned to walk away before anyone tried to put their hands on him and make him. He held his hand up as if in surrender, and nobody tried to stop him, nobody interrupting his path to the lobby even as eyes followed him, as something shifted in him once he was out of that room, as his breaths became ragged and shaky and his hand—his hand fucking hurt.

He paused, chest heaving, almost lost for a moment. Connor’s mind was spinning. The moment he’d struck his father had been one of perfect clarity, but now? He stood in the lobby, pinching the bridge of his nose with his good hand, drawing in breaths to calm himself, to try and pull his thoughts back in line.

“Doctor Rhodes?” Came a voice behind him, and Connor knew it immediately. He didn’t turn to look, didn’t even glance up into the windows and see the figure’s reflection moving towards his own in the night.

“Doctor Charles,” he said.

“Think I could, uh, take a look at that hand for you?” Doctor Charles asked. “Looks like a doozy.” Connor let out a laugh then, humourless, just one sharp breath of it.

“I’m fine,” he said, but he held his hand out anyway, eyes on his own knuckles, how red they were, how he’d bruised his hand on his father’s jaw. His eyes slipped shut as Doctor Charles moved closer to him. He could still hear the din at the bar, his father’s voice in there somewhere, people making sure he was okay, Miss Goodwin’s voice trying to calm everyone, to reassure.

“Ouch,” said Doctor Charles, his fingers gentle at Connor’s palm as he looked at his hand. A long pause before he added, “Listen, buddy, I think we better get you out of here, get this checked out.”

“It’s broken,” said Connor. “I already know.”

“Mm,” said Doctor Charles. “I’m not sure about broken. Maybe a fracture. Gave the old man a zinger. And you know what? I’m betting he deserved it.” Connor felt Doctor Charles watching him for a long moment, and Connor nodded slowly.

“Yeah,” he said, meeting Doctor Charles’ eye before glancing away again. “Yeah.”

“Come on,” said Doctor Charles. “I’ll drive you to Med. This party was getting a little stuffy anyway.”

—

They barely spoke in the car. Connor didn’t offer Doctor Charles any more information about what happened, the reasons, his father’s words as they stuck in his head, in his chest, his throat. And Doctor Charles didn’t ask, just drove them, music playing softly through the speakers, his attention dutifully on Chicago’s roads as he drove them to the ED and Connor stared silently out of the window, bad hand held gently at his chest.

The ED. His stomach dropped the moment they parked in front of it, and if Connor had any say in the matter, he would probably have chosen not to stop there at all, to go home and try to fix things himself, to hope for the best as he worked up a makeshift splint, scoured the bathroom cabinets for his strongest painkillers, and turned his phone off to avoid Will’s calls. There was still some desperate part of himself that was capable of all that, but Doctor Charles was a strangely comforting presence, quiet and accepting. He parked the car, walked Connor into the ED, and when the nurse in charge asked what had happened, Doctor Charles said only, “Looks like a fracture, possible break. We’re not sure.”

Connor was in the ED all of three minutes before Will was at his side.

“Connor,” he said. “I heard it was you. What’s going on?” He looked first at Connor, then to Doctor Charles, who was already rising from his chair in the corner of the bay, gathering his coat to leave.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” he said, and with a knowing nod to Connor, he was gone.

“Connor?” Will pressed, voice soft, already standing before Connor as he sat on the edge of the bed. Connor couldn’t even meet his eye. A sharp gasp through his teeth as Will examined his hand, the bruise gone darker now, skin red at its edges. “What happened?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Connor said, practically a mumble. “It’s fine.”

“No,” said Will. “That’s not how we do things. Maybe a doctor can’t force the truth out of you, but your boyfriend actually needs to know.”

“Then just be my doctor,” Connor said, and glanced up at Will quick enough to see the flash of hurt in his eyes. “Right now, I mean. Just…just be my doctor right now. That is what I need. Please.”

“Fine,” said Will. “We’re out of supplies in this bay. I’ll be back.”

Connor should have known what would happen. He should have known that Cornelius Rhodes taking a punch at a hospital benefit—being struck by his own son, who works at that very hospital—was gossip as much as news. He should have known it would spread like fire, that Will would return to him already burned. Will staggered back into the bay, supplies in his hands, looking at Connor differently. His lips were gently parted, his eyes bright with concern.

“Connor,” he said, voice softer this time. And something in Connor ached. Will was probably the only person who would look at him this way, like throwing a punch meant something awful had happened to Connor. Connor let his gaze drop.

“Don’t, Will,” Connor said.

“No,” said Will, setting the supplies down on the bed, looking at Connor like something desperate. “I want to know. I wanna know what he did to you.”

“He’s an ass,” Connor said, trying to force his voice not to shake. “He was just being himself.” And Connor could fool most people, could keep the strength in his voice and the boundaries up around pretty much anyone else. But Will—things were different with Will. Despite the instinct to keep up these walls, with Will the fear of being seen, truly seen, was different. Almost gone. But he tried. Tried because it was his father in his head, that smarmy smile, the words placed so carefully, every one of them a trap he’d stumbled right into. This man who’d raised him and instilled in him that it wasn’t safe to open up to those close to you, that it wasn’t safe to trust.

But Will. Will folded his arms over his chest, stood there at the end of the bed and said, “I need you to tell me what he did.”

“It’s fine,” Connor said.

“It’s fine?” Will said. “You’re in the ED with a broken hand, Connor.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You’re a surgeon,” Will said.

“I know.”

“I don’t care who threw the punch,” said Will. “I need to know what he did to you.”

“Please, Will…” Connor breathed.

“I’m your partner, Connor,” said Will. “You’re really gonna come home with a broken hand and not even tell me what happened? Lie to your doctor if you really have to, but—“

“It was you,” Connor said. Will halted, the words settling around them, turning the air thick. Connor pulled in a deep breath, feeling it tremble, before he set his eyes on Will and told him what he wanted to know. “He said something about you.”

“Me?”

“You,” Connor said.

“What did he say?”

Connor sighed, looked at Will long enough to determine that protecting Will any further from his father’s words was pointless. Will was openly queer, had been out for years. The insults he’d imagine in Cornelius’s tone would probably be even more hurtful than what he’d actually said.

“Connor?”

“He called you a Southside fag,” said Connor. Will blinked.

“A Southside fag?” He asked, shifting his weight to one leg. Connor nodded, and the sound he heard next surprised him. A laugh. A short burst of laughter from Will, before he brought his hand to his mouth and looked down at Connor, smiling, shaking his head.

“Baby,” he said, “that’s…not the worst thing I’ve been called, you know.”

“I know.”

“We’ve both been called worse than that.”

“I know.”

“So why—“

“Because he’s my dad,” Connor said, and Will fell silent. There was more Connor could have said about all this, more feelings that had spent years lying dormant in his chest. What it came down to was that it shouldn’t ever have been like this, but it was. Connor said nothing. Will knew, too, what it was for sons to have a strained relationship with their father.

“Okay,” said Will, and Connor watched him swallow. The quiet in the bay was thick, fit to choke on even despite the sounds of the ED going on all around then, just beyond the curtain that Will turned and drew shut. Just the two of them now, no one else even to see them.

Will moved forward, forward until he was on the bed beside Connor, shoulders touching. Will waited a moment, then leaned in, slow and gentle, pressing a kiss to Connor’s temple. Connor leaned into him, sat there for a long moment afterwards with Will’s forehead tipped against his temple, the two of them sitting there together and just breathing.

“I love you,” Will said.

“I love you too,” Connor replied. He let a few more moments pass before he spoke again. “Will?”

“Mhm?”

“My hand really fucking hurts.”

“Oh,” said Will. He shifted then, pulled himself away from Connor and rose to stand before him. “Let’s take a look. We’ll get you fixed up, then I’m clocking out and taking you home, okay?”

“Okay,” said Connor.

“Okay,” said Will, and got to work.

#Connor Rhodes #Will Halstead #Chicago Med #Camp NaNo Fics #One Chicago #One Chicago Fanfiction

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buffysummers · 3 years

Note

tw: mentions of rape

speaking of rape in btvs... tbh it's always bothered me that willow's rape of tara is almost never addressed. i definitely understand why it's so uncomfortable when spike's attempted rape of buffy is dismissed, but why is what willow did to tara almost never talked about??? she erased her memory of a fight and then slept with her (and had explicit sex with her during under your spell, tara was basically magically roofied) and like... idk no one in the show even talks about what a violation that was outside of tara talking abt willow fucking with her mind after what glory did to her, and in the fandom it's even more rare for it to be called what it was. why is that? is it just bc it wasn't violent, or bc it's two women and ppl are reluctant to call it out, or do ppl not realize that's actually what happened?

I think it's actually a mixture of all of those things. I have spoken about this before, I believe. I think it's one of those things that appears to be super romantic (and the song IS so romantic, like the entire scene is beautiful and magical) that people don't realize that Tara never consented to having sex with Willow. If Willow hadn't messed with her mind, Tara would STILL be fighting with her and would in no way have sex with her. I honestly think given the time it was written, conversations about consent weren't really discussed or even as aware or present in people's minds like how it is now. It was more cut and dry. Like, people had the mentality that if you're married to someone or even dating them, it can't be rape. I think what was considered 'consent' when Buffy was airing is way different than how people perceive consent now. I think it's just one of those things that can make Buffy feel dated in certain ways. But at the time, it was totally normal and most wouldn't even register that it's violating.

There are several other moments in the show that could easily be considered rape by today's standards, but wasn't then. I don't even think the writers CONSIDERED what Willow did to Tara as rape. In the song, Tara is quite literally saying that she's under Willow's spell, but it has two meanings. The meaning that the show is highlighting is the romantic meaning. Everything about that scene is telling the audience this is a song about love and desire, and on the surface, it is. It could also be intentional. The episode is about being powerless to resist revealing hidden truths through music, is this Tara telling Willow that on some level, she knows she did something to her? Is she breaking through the spell? Or is it simply meant to be poking fun because Tara IS actually under Willow's spell but doesn't know it? It also ties back to the metaphor used throughout season four when Willow and Tara first got together. Willow and Tara doing 'spells' was just a euphemism for the writers being like, 'yeah, they're having sex.' (ie: "I've been uh thinking about that last spell we did... all day." and literally the entire scene in 4.16). The network did NOT want there to be anything too direct or too physical between Willow and Tara. They were very conservative in that regard, (hence why they don't even kiss onscreen until 5.16 despite the fact that they were dating for like well over a year at that point).

What makes Buffy so great is that it does have so many layers and it does facilitate conversations like this, whether the writers meant to or not. It's also a delicate topic because Willow and Tara mean SO much to so many people. Like this relationship was groundbreaking even if it has some major flaws. I think people love to focus on the good because there really wasn't lesbian representation like this at the time. Like, sure, there were lesbians, but mostly just side characters whose entire identity is that they're a lesbian without ever actually kissing or dating a girl. Like, Willow and Tara had a fleshed out and developed romance that was at the forefront of the show for seasons. So, I'm thinking fans like to forget about the bad because of what the relationship meant to them when it was airing.

I do think it's valid and important to discuss this and I do not shy away from it. I guess I just understand why some people may not want to think about it or even discuss it.

#rape tw #abuse tw #anti tillow #answered #anonymous

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avatar-state-kate · 4 years

Text

Get By With a Little Help From My Friends: The Role of Others in Mako and Bolin’s Character Development

In my dual character analysis of Mako and Bolin -here- I discussed how Mako and Bolin’s personalities informed the others. In that original meta I brought up how the two experienced the most growth in season 4, a season they mostly spent apart. Now while I do believe this separation contributed to this growth that is not to say either brother was alone.

Here I want to explore how the primary relationships the brothers had in season 4 facilitated either brothers respective arcs.

Bolin and Varrick: Partners in Crime

As discussed in my first essay Bolin has a tendency to attach himself to strong (read:controlling) personality types and his friendship with Varrick is no different with Varrick taking on the leadership position and Bolin the follower. Varrick comes up with the scheme and Bolin goes along with it, and in season 4 the scheme is working for Kuvira.

For Varrick this is a job, as he heads her engineering department. For Bolin however, while working under the direction of others this is an opportunity to help people. At the very start of Bolins storyline we are meant to doubt the validity of this claim- is Bolin really helping people or does Kuvira kind of seem like a dictator? Opal outright argues this point when the two meet in the earth kingdom province Kuvira is “helping”.

Bolin’s inability to see this is in character, Kuvira and Varrick are in charge and both are telling Bolin that what they are doing is right so he’ll listen (growing up on the streets there would not have been room for negotiation with Mako). However, once the truth becomes too much to ignore and Bolin wants to defect it is Varrick who leads the charge, as Bolin initially attempts to leave the army without upsetting Kuvira (read: people pleasing tendencies).

It is not until Varricks attempted joint suicide that we see a shift in Bolin’s character, it is this moment and not the realization of Kuvira’s true nature that is Bolin’s characters inciting incident. While Varrick takes the charge in rigging the spirit gun explosion this is where his plan ends, if they are going to live through this Bolin is going to have to take charge and save them- he will have to become the protector.

Outside of the lab and without Zhu-li, Varrick is essentially a child, literally needing to be carried by Bolin. Rescueing Varrick marks a role reversal where Bolin becomes the leader/provider rather then the follower/dependent role he usually fills.

When the pair comes across the escaped water benders and Firebenders from Kuvira’s prison camps, it is Bolin who makes the decision to stick with them and fight the earth kingdom soldiers despite Varrick ordering they retreat, and it his Bolin who makes the call to stick with them and sail to republic city despite Varrick not wanting to.

In needing to take care of Varrick, to be the parent, Bolin develops a greater sense of autonomy.

Bolin and Opal: I Want You Back

Working for Kuvira resulted in a rift between Bolin and Opal. Prior to this falling out with Opal the only character Bolin has had a falling out with in the series was Mako during season 2 when he did not believe that Varrick was responsible for orchestrating the attack on the southern water tribe cultural center. Despite this resulting in Mako ending up in prison, once released Mako was quick to forgive Bolin no questions asked. Bolin has never had to earn Mako’s forgiveness, but Opal will not be won back so easily.

Not only does Opal refuse to just forgive Bolin, but where Mako would give guidance by telling him exactly what he should do, Opal only says he’s going to have to do better then a picnic. Bolin needs to come up with a solution to his own problems, he needs to take control.

This leads to the events of operation Beifong, a rescue mission that Bolin orchestrated. The rescue involves Bolin recruiting Lin and Toph, having the foresight to bring cables for Wing and Wei to aid in the escape once freed, and deciding to stay behind to rescue Zhu-li. Although working as a member of a team this is hardly the soldier Bolin who was working for Kuvira, he is a contributor not just a follower.

In summary, having to take care of Varrick and win back Opal helped Bolin to develop the ability to take initiative and care of himself without needing the direction of others.

Mako and Wu: Meeting in the Middle

Rather then forcing Mako into a completely opposite position, as Bolin’s relationships with Varrick and Opal do, Wu instead meets Mako halfway.

Throughout the series Mako is shown to be a natural caregiver as a result of being a parentified child. While this is maladaptive in the wrong contexts (read: overprotective) as Wu’s bodyguard it is literally Mako’s job to protect Wu. Not only is it Mako’s job, but it is a facet of Mako’s character that Wu is receptive to- compare Mako trying to protect Korra in season 2, most clearly represented in Korra’s negative response to Mako promising Tonraq he would protect him before he left the expedition to the SWT spirit portal, with Wu’s response to Mako, Asami, and Korra’s rescue mission. Where Mako’s protective tendencies resulted in fights between him and Korra, (her own trauma of being raised in a compound for her protection interacting poorly with Mako’s here), Wu is very happy to have Mako save him. Wu’s desire to be cared for is also apparent in the recurring joke of him asking to be carried and his catch phrase “Wu down”- Wu wants to have someone there to take care of him.

However, while he likes to be cared for Wu doesn’t want to rely solely on Mako. This is evidenced in asking Mako for defence lessons as well as his decision to abdicate, which shows he wants to properly lead (read: take care of) the earth kingdom. In this way Mako can fulfill his emotional need to be needed while not also having to be responsible for Wu.

Another issue Mako grapples with is control, he needs to insert himself into a leadership role, again see Wu’s rescue. However in being Wu’s body guard Mako cannot be the boss, Wu is. This is the point of most of Mako’s early irritation with Wu, Wu doesn’t have to listen to him and he cannot control him. Mako’s need to control stems from his need to protect, however Mako fails as a protector when he doesn’t listen to Wu, Wu tells him to escort him to the bathroom and he says no. Wu’s kidnapping is a harsh lesson in the need to defer control, and ultimately helps Mako to relinquish control. This is best shown when Mako allows Wu to take over the radio announcement to initiate the evacuations- Mako lets Wu take control. While Mako needs to learn to relinquish control Wu needs to learn to step up as a leader, something he initially has little interest in doing, which Mako points out to him. In taking control of the radio broadcast and later leading the evacuation at the train station Wu learns to lead.

Finally, Mako has difficulty tending to his emotional needs. Wu does not have this issue, as he is fairly open about what he feels and needs, the best example is Wu’s breakdown at little ba sing we mall, as he 1 has no restraint in expressing himself and 2 has no problem reaching out to Mako (“carry me”). Wu’s emotionality if anything is selfish as he lets his emotions take over the situation, his anger incited a mob at the mall. Compare to Mako who keeps his emotions to himself to prevent them being a burden or upsetting others.

Mako also has an outburst at little ba sing se, calling Wu our for his selfishness; this goes against his people pleasing tendencies, which is good because it allows him to be honest (compare to the amnesia plot where Mako lies to protect Korra’s feelings).

Wu is receptive to Mako’s criticism, and has shown to be sensitive to Mako’s emotional state; having invited Mako to the mall for smoothies as a means of cheering him up after his fight with Bolin. And Mako is likewise receptive to Wu’s emotional state as he is aware he crossed a line with his outburst in little ba sing se and apologizes (again compare this with season 2 Korra and his inability to recognize when he had crossed similar lines). Again, Mako and Wu meet each other in the middle

In summary, Mako and Wu meet eachother half-way, with Wu helping Mako to be less controlling and more honest and open in his communications, while Mako encourages Wu to be more self reliant. They grow together.

Conclusion

As a result of their childhoods Mako and Bolin have a fairly codependent relationship where each brother fulfills a set role. Season 4 the brothers spend time apart, time with other people wherein they need to leave their usual roles and instead build on the characteristics they had previously been able to neglect; Bolin becomes more independent and self directing and Mako becomes more attuned to his emotions and less high strung.

We see the final mark of this shift in the brothers relationship in the attack of the colossus where we witness a rule reversal between the two brothers- Bolin making the pragmatic suggestion to retreat and live another day, and Mako the emotional appeal to protect Republic City and those still in it (ahem Wu).

Ultimately this makes the brothers relationship stronger as they come back to each other not two halves but each their own whole.

#would you believe me if I said all of this was originally supposed to be part of the original #I just have a lot of thoughts #mako #Bolin #varrick #opal #wu #prince wu #wuko #Bopal #legend of korra #lok #avatar #lok meta #legend of korra meta #meta

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transholmes · 3 years

Note

Believe Me To Be & A Queer Relationship of the wip ask :D

Believe Me To Be (A Great Hiatus fic, or 'Why Holmes Really Left And How He Discovered Watson's Writing During His Hiatus')

When I had left London and England with Watson at my side I had intended to leave forever, though he did not know that nor did I intend him to. Had he known he would have argued, tried to convince me to stay and would have accepted no reason I offered as he would have know them to be lies and I could not ever tell him the truth. That it was not London or England I was leaving, it was him.

He would not understand but all the same it would hurt him. And I loved him no less then than I had in our days together at Baker Street and I had hurt him quite sufficiently then. I knew that it was my own fault I had lost him. He might be the one that had left but the initial transgression was mine and mine alone. I asked him to bear the one thing he could not and had the gall to act offended when he made to leave.

I knew his brother and father had drunk themselves into a far too early grave and that he himself had struggled with both gambling and morphine, yet his pleas that I should desist destroying myself fell on deaf ears and I refused to even try and give up my habit. In the end I made it so intolerable for him that he chose the only recourse he felt he had, marriage and a stable life alongside his wife.

I had been devastated the loss of him and my bitter and biting words only served to drive him further away. It was not until I had lost him completely and it became clear to me that he would never return to my side in my current state that I finally arrived at the decision to act.

Of course by then I it was far too little and far too late. I failed as often, more often, than I succeeded in my endeavour but was determined to persevere in the hope that I might one day see him again.

When I finally did, when he by some immeasurable miracle decided to drop in, I forgot nearly everything else. Including that I had an appointment with a client and had Watson not displayed the same interest he’d had of old in the matters I have no doubt I should have sent His Majesty to spend an evening with the man who had been my dearest love and whom I hoped to once again be able to call friend. And it derived no little amusement from me that evening that His Majesty thought he could ever compete with the importance of John Watson.

The case marked a turning point, not a return to the old but rather the turning of a new page. Though Watson no longer resided at 221B he began to visit with varying frequency and I tried to make it work. I was happy for him, truly. He looked so much healthier now, not to mention happy, how could I not be?

But all the same it hurt. To know that he was not mine anymore and, as it far too slowly dawned on me, never would be again. My chance encounter with him, facilitated by Stamford, had been the best thing to ever happen to me but rather than do all that was in my power to keep him, I refused to even consider the one thing he asked of me. The arrogant and callow youth that I was considered it impossible that he should leave and only far too late learned otherwise.

But try as I did knowing that he was lost to me and lost because of my own carelessness and callousness was too painful and bitter. And I could not resort to my usual means of escape or I knew I would lose him completely and for good.

Moriarty and my campaign against him came as a relief. It was a task I could throw myself into wholly and completely and I could justify to myself not having Watson with me as that would be far too dangerous and he was now a husband and not my friend and companion.

I had thought the professor quite ensnared in my web though in hindsight I should have been less certain than I was. Still at the end of the long and arduous crusade I found myself not only exhausted but knowing that I could not stay. To stay in London, in England, anywhere near him, was impossible. The pain was too deep even if it was of my own making.

I had realized I had to cut ties with both the land of my birth, the city I had come to love and the man who I loved more than anything else in life. There was no other option left to me.

So why take him with me? Because I’m a selfish man and I wanted just a few days where it was once more just the two of us before I bid him farewell.

When we left for the Continent, I had no idea how I would do that, how I would tell him that I should not be returning with him. Moriarty inadvertently granted me a boon he did not realize.

It might have seemed cruel to let him believe me dead, but at the time it felt like a much preferable avenue than any other. It would keep him safe and he would not be left to wonder endlessly why I had turned my back on him. And he seemed to already have grown so far away from me that I was certain that while he would grieve for me the grief would pass in little time and he’d live his life as doctor, husband and eventually father and only occasionally and wistfully think back on me and the adventures we had once shared.

Moran’s presence simplified matters greatly, I simply couldn’t stay. And so I legged it, the Colonel hot on my heels only to find myself all those months later in India.

A Queer Relationship

So queer platonic retirement era fic. It's probably easier to summarize than explain and the writing is so scattered it wouldn't make sense.

It begins shortly after The Lion's Mane with Watson visiting Holmes for the first time in a long time. Btw Watson isn't married in this one, he and Holmes grew apart after Holmes retired because Watson felt he abandoned him, again, and he himself wasn't ready to retire.

Well now he is, he's in the process of selling his practice, but he doesn't know what to do with himself. Unlike Holmes he didn't have a plan for retirement. Or rather he did, but none of them came to fruition and he felt and feels lost. Holmes invites him to stay with for as long as he likes, to the surprise of no reader ever, Watson agrees.

Watson settles in and weeks becomes months, months a year, then two. But when the third "anniversary" comes around Watson makes a remark that he really ought to figure out what he wants and move out as it was never meant to be permanent. Holmes asks him point blank who meant that? Because he didn't. When he said Watson could stay for as long as he wanted that was exactly what he meant, be it a week or two decades. Watson says he can't seriously to expect him to stay indefinitely to which Holmes counters that he expects nothing, but that doesn't mean Watson isn't welcome to stay.

To make a very long and complicated discussion and a bit of soul searching on Watson's part short, he does stay. Because while it was not the life he envisioned he realizes he's happier with Holmes than he has ever been with anyone else, except Mary.

Come ask me about my WIPs. It's not like I'm short on them.

#acd holmes #acd watson #acd canon #willow answers

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hannigramficrecs · 4 years

Text

Murder Husbands

Nice Day for a Red Wedding by xzombiexkittenx [words: 2,129]

It is a quiet, unimportant morning much like any other, when Will decides he wants to marry Hannibal.

Never In The House by drinkbloodlikewine, whiskeyandspite [words: 4,079]

“You killed a man in our kitchen, Hannibal. Killed him. In our kitchen,” Will repeats again, each word clipped crisp. “Our. Kitchen.” “Will -” “One rule,” he says, laughing dire. “I asked for it not to happen in the house. Hell, even the cellar I’d understand, but Christ, that’s - that’s where the dogs eat!”

Held in the Highest Regard by HigherMagic [words: 12,357]

What happens when a group of serial killers pick the absolute worst targets? Will is already having a pretty rough night, since Hannibal proposed to him and Will said 'No' for reasons he still hasn't quite figured out yet. It's not their fault - they couldn't have known - but sometimes people have to learn lessons the hard way, and Will could definitely use some stress relief.

Before You And After You by ache_for_him, Breakmybones (CarterReid), CarterReid [words: 33,734]

Hannibal and Will had a past: a dirty, bloody, violent past. Will was sure he’d never see his own personal monster again - then he walked into Jack Crawford’s office.

Sweet Misery by everybreathagift [words: 1,272]

Will has no idea what personal space is. Hannibal hopes he never learns.

Bait and Switch by HotMolasses [words: 3,137]

“I told you I was married.” Will said, his eyes dark with lust of another kind now, the kind that made Hannibal’s heart sing. “I introduced you to my husband. But that didn’t seem to bother you.” “I…I…thought, I thought you wanted, um. You were flirting with me!” Hannibal tsked in his ear. “He flirted with the entire crowd all night.” Hannibal said. “Those with class politely stepped away. You, however, went after what was not yours.”

It's A Good Car, Dammit by proser [words: 11,077]

Will never shares with anyone. His thoughts, his possessions, and his life are all his and his alone. Hannibal doesn't take from anyone. He prepares his own food, cleans his own house, and uses his own supplies. So when Hannibal starts driving Will's car everywhere, people are curious. Trust is so rare with these two, and it both makes perfect sense and is utter nonsense that it would reside between them.

The Abyss Smiled Back by HigherMagic [words: 49,768]

Will is missing, presumed dead, which makes it difficult for Jack and Alana to get Hannibal to help them catch another brutal serial killer, given that Hannibal's only condition for helping them is that he gets to see Will.

Deliverance by savethealiens (endoftheline7) [words: 9,843]

Hannibal and Will take their first tentative steps through the door to exploring the physical side of their relationship. Well, Hannibal does. Will practically kicks the door down.

A Darkness Seen and Shared by voxofthevoid [words: 10,344]

What would have happened if Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter first met each other when they were both hunting the same man, for entirely different reasons Attracting the attention of one psychopath is bad enough. Attracting two and for entirely different reasons… now that was just bloody rotten luck.

Table Manners by KareliaSweet [words: 1,510]

In which Will and Hannibal's first time is facilitated by the boorish manners of their dinner guest.

Fruitful by Everett_Harte [words: 11,629]

An AU remix of 'Hannibal'. Where they both meet several years before the show, start dating, and get married. And bang, a lot. Just don't go in the basement.

My Husband by VictoriaAGrey [wprds: 3,563]

“My husband this, my husband that. It’s a wonder Jack hasn’t followed your trail of “my husband”s to our front door.” “He doesn’t know we’re married.” “He’s the only one!” In which Hannibal is a little too smitten and Will figures out Hannibal is That Guy

The Risks of Marrying Will Graham by everybreathagift [words: 1,558]

Will has discovered something about himself. Hannibal would complain, but it's hard to speak with so much... Will.

Edible by shiphitsthefan [words: 4,376]

The temptation to take a taste of Will is almost too great for Hannibal to resist. Good thing he isn't the only one who's hungry.

Everything I Wanted by CarnivalMirai [words: 5,330]

In which the phrase "but Hannibal..." paired with a pout and a Southern drawl is enough to get Will Graham exactly what he wants.

Eurydice by peppermintquartz [words: 11,324]

Will took Hannibal's offer to leave before the dinner with Jack. They are now in a smaller town, and they have new lives. Will can't decide if this is better than before.

Götterdämmerung by Chifuyu [words: 20,925]

Will Graham had not expected to survive the fall. Neither had he expected to find himself on a plane to Italy, with Hannibal Lecter sleeping peacefully by his side. Looking at the man now, with his silver-blond hair fanned across his face, Will wasn't sure if he could rise to this new challenge of not only surviving but living with Hannibal Lecter.

Carnivore, Won't You Come Digest Me? by HigherMagic [words: 64,019]

Role Reversal AU: Following the execution of Garrett Jacob Hobbs, Hannibal is forced to see Doctor Will Graham for a psychiatric evaluation before he can return to the field. Once cleared, Jack insists that Will shadow Hannibal in the hopes of catching the Shrike's copycat. Hannibal has become a master of making sure the FBI stays blind to his extracurricular activities, but Will is a man who sees far too much, and won't be so easily overcome.

Old Dog New Trick by iesika [words: 1,961]

Hannibal is in the doghouse

The Only Place I Can Hold You by snapdragonpop007 [words: 27,865]

“Hello, Jack.” These past two years had not been kind to Will Graham-Lecter. The solitary confinement that Chilton had promised would help had only seemed to make the omega worse. “I was wondering when you were gonna come talk to me.” Will hadn’t looked up from the book in his hands. He was running his fingertips across the pages, and when Jack looked a little closer he could see that it was full of photographs.

The Significant Other: The Will and Hannibal Edition by house_of_lantis [words: 18,431]

After their terrible and abrupt break up, Will and Hannibal attempt to maneuver through their social circles, side step ongoing gossip, and deal with the fact that Will knows the truth of Hannibal. Through impossible odds, Will and Hannibal do find their way to each other again.

Dancing with the Beast by proser [words: 86,347]

In order to catch a mediocre serial killer, Will must pose as Hannibal's date for a series of pretentious social events. Hannibal is dramatic and jealous as ever, and Will is having a great time without the encephalitis. Of course, it's a love story.

There's Pride In Your Mouth by nobetterlove [words: 10,992]

Instead of diving head first into the avoidance pool, Will allows his empathy to grow - taking him further from the constructs of society. He uses the slip into other killer's heads to perfect his craft. As a cover, Will goes through the process of becoming a chef and takes to the profession like it was meant to be.

I Love Our Secrets by sourweather [words: 4,146]

Freddie Lounds knows Will Graham is hiding something, she just doesn't know what. When she tries to snoop around Will's house one snowy night, she finds him in a very compromising position.

The Breath of Sun by Snerp [words: 10,203]

Will and Hannibal met each other one fateful night in New Orleans. They get violently married, consummated in the river of blood and bone, in the flesh of the monsters of men. They are faithfully married, but not many know they are married to one another.

#murder husbands #hannibal au #hannibal fanfic #hannigram fanfic #hannibal fanfiction #mh

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oberlincollegelibraries · 3 years

Text

Weekend Edition: Novels With a Trans or Nonbinary Character(s)

March 31, 2021 marks the 12th annual International Transgender Day of Visibility, so why not pick up novel this weekend that features a trans or nonbinary character (or better yet — characters)? Below are a some titles available at OCL and through SearchOhio.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin Guin's groundbreaking work of science fiction--winner of the Hugo and Nebula Awards. A lone human ambassador is sent to the icebound planet of Winter, a world without sexual prejudice, where the inhabitants' gender is fluid. His goal is to facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But to do so he must bridge the gulf between his own views and those of the strange, intriguing culture he encounters... Embracing the aspects of psychology, society, and human emotion on an alien world, The Left Hand of Darkness stands as a landmark achievement in the annals of intellectual science fiction. Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom "Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir is a coming-of-age story about a young Asian trans girl, pathological liar, and kung-fu expert who runs away from her parents' abusive home in a rainy city called Gloom. Striking off on her own, she finds her true family in a group of larger-than-life trans femmes who make their home in a mysterious pleasure district known only as the Street of Miracles. Under the wings of this fierce and fabulous flock, she blossoms into the woman she has always dreamed of being, with a little help from the unscrupulous Doctor Crocodile. When one of their number is brutally murdered, our protagonist joins her sisters in forming a vigilante gang to fight back against the transphobes, violent johns, and cops that stalk the Street of Miracles. But when things go terribly wrong, she must find the truth within herself in order to stop the violence and discover what it really means to grow up and find your family."-- Provided by publisher

The House of Impossible Beauties by Joseph Cassara 1980, New York City. Burned by her traumatic past, Angel is new to the drag world, new to ball culture, and has a yearning inside of her to help create family for those without. When she falls in love with Hector, a beautiful young man who dreams of becoming a professional dancer, the two decide to form the House of Xtravaganza, the first-ever all-Latino house in the Harlem ball circuit. But when Hector dies of AIDS-related complications, Angel must tend to their house alone. She recruits Venus, a whip-fast trans girl who dreams of finding a rich man to take care of her; Juanito, a quiet boy who loves fabrics and design; and Daniel, a butch queen who accidentally saves Venus's life. The Xtravaganzas lean on each other as bulwarks against a world that resists them.

Confessions of the Fox: A Novel by Jordy Rosenberg "Set in the eighteenth century London underworld, this bawdy, genre-bending novel reimagines the life of thief and jailbreaker Jack Sheppard to tell a profound story about gender, love, and liberation. Recently jilted and increasingly unhinged, Dr. Voth throws himself into his work, obsessively researching the life of Jack Sheppard, a legendary eighteenth century thief. No one knows Jack's true story--his confessions have never been found. That is, until Dr. Voth discovers a mysterious stack of papers titled Confessions of the Fox. Dated 1724, the manuscript tells the story of an orphan named P. Sold into servitude at twelve, P struggles for years with her desire to live as "Jack." When P falls dizzyingly in love with Bess, a sex worker looking for freedom of her own, P begins to imagine a different life. Bess brings P into the London underworld where scamps and rogues clash with London's newly established police force, queer subcultures thrive, and ominous threats of an oncoming plague abound. At last, P becomes Jack Sheppard, one of the most notorious--and most wanted--thieves in history. An imaginative retelling of Brecht's Threepenny Opera, Confessions of the Fox blends high-spirited adventure, subversive history, and provocative wit to animate forgotten histories and the extraordinary characters hidden within"-- Provided by publisher

The Black Tides of Heaven by JY Yang The Black Tides of Heaven is one of a pair of unique, standalone introductions to JY Yang's Tensorate Series, which Kate Elliott calls "effortlessly fascinating." For more of the story you can read its twin novella The Red Threads of Fortune , available simultaneously. Mokoya and Akeha, the twin children of the Protector, were sold to the Grand Monastery as infants. While Mokoya developed her strange prophetic gift, Akeha was always the one who could see the strings that moved adults to action. While Mokoya received visions of what would be, Akeha realized what could be. What's more, they saw the sickness at the heart of their mother's Protectorate. A rebellion is growing. The Machinists discover new levers to move the world every day, while the Tensors fight to put them down and preserve the power of the state. Unwilling to continue as a pawn in their mother's twisted schemes, Akeha leaves the Tensorate behind and falls in with the rebels. But every step Akeha takes towards the Machinists is a step away from Mokoya. Can Akeha find peace without shattering the bond they share with their twin? Detransition, Baby: A Novel by Torrey Peters Reese had what previous generations of trans women could only dream of; the only thing missing was a child. Then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Ames thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese, and losing her meant losing his only family. Then Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she is pregnant with his baby-- and is not sure whether she wants to keep it. Ames wonders: Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family, and raise the baby together? -- adapted from jacket

A Safe Girl to Love by Casey Plett Eleven unique short stories that stretch from a rural Canadian Mennonite town to a hipster gay bar in Brooklyn, featuring young trans women stumbling through loss, sex, harassment, and love. These stories, shiny with whiskey and prairie sunsets, rattling subways and neglected cats, show growing up as a trans girl can be charming, funny, frustrating, or sad, but never will it be predictable.

#oberlin college libraries #oberlin college #weekend edition #ocl reading challenge #OCLReads #reading challenge #reading bingo #transgender literature #trans characters #nonbinary characters

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sukifans · 4 years

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PET • RI • CHOR

[n] a pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather

ZUKO X OC SERIES

SUMMARY: a captured waterbender and the fire prince may sound like an unlikely pair, but kena never much cared about others’ expectations and zuko, well… he was just along for the ride

A/N: hm that summary was kind of... terrible. but wow okay that first bit got way more attention than i honestly thought it would. thank you all so much for the love, it’s really brought up my mood and i’ve been feeling pretty down being stuck at my parents’ house during all... this. i’m so happy y’all enjoyed and i look forward to bringing you more Content TM by eventually opening up for requests and stuff like that if anyone is interested 🥺 as before, absolutely reply/message/ask/telegraph/etc me any questions/comments/tag requests!! love y’all!!!

⏎ MASTERLIST // PROLOGUE i « PROLOGUE ii » PART I

They managed to keep their friendship mostly a secret for a little while. Zuko knew his father wouldn’t approve, so they either snuck out to talk together at nights or he’d make up excuses to visit the infirmary. He’d lie about some vague illness symptoms or “slip up” during his training and sustain a few burns. As time passed, they had to get more and more creative. Ursa figured it out relatively quickly, but she thought Kena and their budding relationship was good for the young prince. Zuko didn’t really care one way or another if his mother knew — as long as Ozai never heard about them, it didn’t matter. She often even helped facilitate their little meetings, even if they didn’t know it. One warm June day, Ursa took Zuko to the newly-bloomed field of fire lilies on the palace grounds under the pretense of taking a walk around the gardens.

“Aren’t they lovely, Zuko?” She stroked his hair while they sat in the shade of a cherry blossom tree overlooking the field.

“Yeah,” he said. “I think fire lilies are my favorite.”

“You know, girls love flowers.”

“So?” Zuko scrunched up his face as he looked at his mom, who smiled.

“I’m just saying, if there’s ever a girl you like, you should bring her flowers. I think she’d really like it.”

“Ew, Mom! I don’t like any girls, they’re gross.” He stuck his tongue out comically and she laughed at him.

“What about Mai and Ty Lee?”

“Yes!”

“Even me?”

He hesitated. “Well, no. But you’re not a girl!”

She laughed again. “What am I, then?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “You’re just Mom.”

“If you say so, my love,” she said gently. Ursa dropped the topic after that and pretended not to notice when the prince sneakily pocketed a flower when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Later that evening, he found Kena in a deserted corridor as they’d planned and presented her the flower abruptly, flushing wildly. The butterflies in his stomach went wild when he saw her eyes go big and her lips part in surprise.

“It’s for you,” he said, avoiding her gaze. “I saw it in the garden and thought of you because they’re my favorite and you’re my favorite, and they’re really pretty and I think you’re really pretty too.” Her face reddened as much as his and she beamed, reaching out to take the flower. Before he could react, she had engulfed him in a hug. He closed his eyes and squeezed her back tightly, setting his chin on her shoulder.

“Thanks, Zuko. I love it.” She twirled it around in her fingers absently as she took a step back. “You’re my favorite too, you know.”

“I would hope so!” They both giggled, shyly looking at anything but each other.

“I told my mom I would help her with something tonight, so I have to go,” she said, lips pulling into a frown. Zuko frowned too.

“Oh. Okay.” He rubbed the toe of his shoe against the ground.

“I’ll see you again soon, though, okay? And I’ll stay longer.”

“You promise?” Zuko held out his hand, pinky extended. She grinned again and entwined her little finger with his.

“I promise.” Before either of them could step away, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His mouth dropped open, face deep red all over again, and she dashed away while laughing. “Bye!” she called over her shoulder, waving.

“B-bye,” he whispered, hand raising to where she’d kissed him. Slowly, his face lit up into a wide smile and he turned to go back to his room, stomach full of butterflies again.

The next evening at dinner, Ozai set down his cutlery and looked at his son.

“Prince Zuko,” he began and the boy looked up from his plate, which he’d been smiling faintly at, “I hear you’ve made a friend.”

The boy’s brow furrowed. “I did?”

“It’s his girlfriend, Dad,” Azula taunted from across the table and Zuko paled. “That water tribe girl in the infirmary.”

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me, son,” Ozai said coolly. “Azula said she saw you sneaking around with her last night. What were you doing with her?”

“Zuzu gave her a flower and she kissed him!” said Azula, grinning devilishly. Ozai’s eyebrows raised and Ursa looked nervously between father and son.

“Is this true?” Ozai asked.

“I, uh- um, well-“ Zuko stammered out incoherently. He’d never forgive himself if Kena got in trouble because of him. Well, he’d never forgive Azula for telling their father, anyways.

“Answer.”

“Yes,” Zuko sighed and looked down at the table. “But she’s not my girlfriend. I just... thought she’d like the fire lily because I don’t think she’s ever been to the gardens to see them before.”

“I told him to give her the flower,” Ursa cut in quickly. Zuko breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “I noticed the girl always looks miserable and I thought she’d work better with some cheering up.” She played it off easily, twisting the truth enough to maybe placate her husband. Ozai simply glared at her before looking back at his son who still looked remarkably pale.

“You’re not close with her, then?” he asked.

“No, I’m not,” Zuko lied. “I just see her around.”

“So you wouldn’t be upset if I were to, say, send her and her mother to prison with the rest of the waterbending savages?” Zuko felt lightheaded at the thought of Kena in a cell, suffering and lonely and sad.

“My lord-“ Ursa started.

“Silence,” Ozai snapped before continuing to taunt the prince. “You wouldn’t care, then, if I had them executed?”

Despite the warning voice in the back of his head, Zuko jumped to his feet. “They’re innocent people, you can’t do that!”

“Actually, I think you’ll find that I can and I will. Maybe if the snow savages die you’ll learn to respect your position and your father.” He picked up his fork again and resumed eating like nothing had happened. “Sana, take Prince Zuko to his chambers and keep an eye on him. He will not be seeing that girl again.”

As a frightened-looking Sana ushered a furious and horrified Zuko away from the table, he shot a vicious glare at his sister. Azula’s face was stony. She hadn’t meant for the stupid girl to end up dead, she’d just wanted to get her brother in trouble and maybe have the girl sent away. Now Zuko would never play Love Amongst the Dragons with her again, and it just wasn’t as fun with Mai or Ty Lee as the Dark Water Spirit.

Walking down a corridor away from the dining hall, Zuko made a turn to go to the infirmary when Sana stopped him. He gave her an angry look and she sighed.

“Your father said to go to your room, Prince Zuko.” She set a hand on his shoulder and he shrugged her off.

“I will, but I have to warn Kena and her mom first. I can’t just let my father hurt them.”

Sana crouched in front of him so they were eye to eye and she cupped his face in her hands. “Prince Zuko, if your father finds out I didn’t take you directly to your room and keep you there, he’ll hurt me too.” His eyes widened at the realization. He hadn’t even considered that. “I’ll do what I can to get the word to them, but right now I need you to come with me.”

“Okay,” he said quietly, following her as she walked in the direction of his bedroom. He couldn’t let his father hurt Sana either; she had been taking care of him for as long as he could remember and he loved her like family. It wasn’t a risk he was willing to take and he was confident she’d be able to send word through the network of palace staff. He just hoped the message would reach them in time.

A/N: just another small bit of prologue to establish the relationship between zuko and kena. also i guess i’m calling this petrichor? idk it’ll make more sense later. anyways!! hope you enjoyed this small update!!

TAGS: @beifongsss @the-lva-way @lammello @llorom6nnic @idkdude776 @bubblebars @royahllty

#mine #petrichor #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla fic #atla fanfic #zuko #zuko x oc #atla zuko #prince zuko #prince zuko x oc #zuko fanfic #avatar fic #zuko fic #zuko x reader #prince zuko x reader #the last airbender

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yhmisun · 3 years

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*//𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒆: introducing 𝐘𝐄𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍!

hi petals 🥰 i'm so thrilled to be here with you all and bringing you this gullible little lioness!i promise i'll get to all ims soon, but my alias is penny, my pronouns are she/her and i'm in the est tz! this is my bby misun - the very soft-spoken principal of kwangsook academy. despite the shady way she ended up with it, she quite loves her job, as well as all the students and faculty at kwangsook :D i will have her full bio up sometime soon, but for now, you can find some relevant links and some bullet points under the cut! if you'd like to plot something out, feel free to hit the heart so i know and i'll come buzz you in ims! tw - brief mentions of death cw - workplace affair

statistics. // bio. // headcanons. // plots. // musing blog. // pinterest.

━ ❖ (kim ahyoung “yura,” cis female, she/her) hey thank you for coming to town hall to update your information yeo misun! you’re a citizen correct? good to know! are you enjoying yourself around yunhwa? you’ve been staying here two years right? i’m glad! remind me, are you born on 14/12/1992? we’re so lucky to have someone so dedicated around as a principal at kwangsook academy even if sometimes you can be credulous. hope to see you around the house #3034, hwesakgu!

born and raised in busan, the city was imbued in misun's veins. she was in love with how the highest skyscrapers mingled with the clouds on overcast days and how life always seemed to be racing by. her childhood was a happy one, as she gained a younger brother and sister along the way.

her mother was a science teacher and her father a commercial fisherman at the local dock. it wasn't uncommon for him to be gone for weeks at a time in order to bring an income into the household, so misun was often left in charge of her younger siblings. it was something she thrived at honestly, as she'd always had this nurturing way about her. she didn't even argue with her siblings much, she mostly just played peacekeeper when they fought amongst themselves.

she ran through the typical cycle of dream occupations as any child would. she had a particularly tight grasp on astronomy for awhile, but she also always appreciated her mother's work in the field of education.

misun could be be rather mild-mannered, but she loved to run free in the yard, as if the fence that boxed it in existed in another realm entirely. as she grew older, she picked up several hobbies that always seemed to lend to a tranquil state of mind, as it was her favorite feeling in the world. painting and surfing were two of her favorite things to do, once she learned the basics of them. some of her most cherished memories of her father were the trips they took to the beach whenever he was home for the week so that he could see what she had learned for himself. she'd never forget the proud smile he wore.

[tw:death] she was fourteen when her father's boat sank in the korea strait, he and all of his crew being lost in the tragedy. they were at least able to hold a funeral for him; and misun always knew it was something that could happen in the logical side of her brain - but that was rarely the side she wanted to agree with. it was extremely hard on the family for his already too brief presence to have lessened to nothing, and it was years before any sense of normalcy was felt. [end tw]

it was fortunate that misun was so prone to being a parental figure in the household, as she was able to help her mother with her brother and sister while the woman grieved. it was simply in misun's nature to forego her own feelings to give another what they needed.

there was a desperate need for the lost income to be restored in some way, as her father had been the primary breadwinner for the family. her mother's salary as a teacher simply wasn't going to hold four people afloat in the city for very long. misun spent years juggling her workload in school along with working part-time, putting her all into not only bringing home good grades that her mom could be proud of, but helping to keep the family's bills paid, as well.

by the time she graduated, misun had excelled so much in her studies, that she was offered two different scholarships, both of which would have easily covered the expenses of attaining her degree, a miraculous offer for the family who had no way to afford college for any of the three children in it.

the college experience was everything misun had hoped for; a chance to better herself, find herself and take a bit of a break from the full workload she'd been carrying for so long. she still worked part time, so that she could slowly add to the college funds of her brother and sister while she attended school herself, but it was nice to have such a heavy focus on her studies.

she'd come to find that she wanted to go beyond teaching. she enjoyed the thought of administrative duties in the school system; fighting the good fight so that students could always have the help they needed to prosper. it wasn't just about filling their brains with meaningless facts they'd forget over a summer anymore - it was about making sure they had the tools to make it in life.

while she did receive some brief classroom training as a teacher in her initial transition, once misun got her master's degree, she was able to fill the position of principal at one of the schools in the city. she fell in love with it immediately, as it fit right in with her facilitating nature. she had a knack for keeping the peace around the school and making sure things ran smoothly so that all the teachers and other faculty could do their jobs properly.

she even had a positive working relationship with the local school board and her superiors, one of whom seemed to have taken quite a shine to her. he'd find any opportunity to speak with her, even about the silliest things. it was quite odd for misun to see him go back and forth from a very personable man to a very stuffy superintendent on an almost weekly basis, but there was definitely something charming about him.

before she really knew it, he'd swept misun off her feet entirely. suddenly they were sharing their lunch breaks at romantic cafes and making excuses to see each other during inconvenient times. misun always saw the best in people, and the things she saw in him made her feel love on an intense plane. she felt special with him; wanted. she might have said he'd broken down all her barriers, if she'd ever bothered to put them up.

as sweet as the feelings were, she supposed she knew the relationship was inappropriate considering that he was practically her boss. still, she didn't want to let go of the happiness she felt, and that she thought he had felt to.

it wasn't long before he informed her of his suspicions that some of his co-workers had an inkling he was having an affair with one of the school faculty members in the area. he seemed to know it was only a matter of time before the truth would come out, so he would cover his tracks. he would make sure no one ever found out.

initially, they were only meant to 'cool things off' a bit so that the suspicion would die down. admittedly, if word got out about them, misun knew it would be quite the scandal, and he may have to step down from his position. it seemed like the logical thing to do to lay low for awhile.

she didn't see the next part coming, though; apparently it had been decided that she would take the hit entirely, in order to save them both. her superintendent had crafted the brilliant plan to transfer her to kwangsook academy out in the small town of yunhwa and away from the city that she'd always known and loved. she wouldn't have to worry, he'd told her. the job was all but hers after the glowing recommendation he gave her. 'thank goodness, right? now you won't have to face any humiliation.'

she was confused, hurt and more angry than she had ever been in her life. as lovely as yunhwa was, it wasn't her home back in busan. it wasn't her school district. why was it her life that had been uprooted, and hers alone? was he suffering any undesired changes in his life in the city? did he even care at all that she was gone?

still though, misun's resilience remained steadfast, even after her heart was broken. as bitter as she was about the forced move, she'd been given a job to do, and she was going to going to do it right. getting used to the small town lifestyle has been a major adjustment for her, but she's not really one to complain about her circumstances.

two years on, and she remains in yunhwa, functioning as the head of kwangsook academy. as lost as she'd felt initially, she's come to fit in at the school at last. she's a rather amicable person who gets along well with the other teachers and staff members. she's always willing to lend a helping hand when it's needed, and is extremely dedicated to making sure the school has everything it needs in the way of funding, materials, healthy lunches and meaningful extracurriculars. as unassuming as misun can be sometimes, she's very protective of her students!

#introyh #/pls forgive me for how long this got!!

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asma-al-husna · 10 months

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The Creator, the Maker, the Planner

The product of Allah

A mind-blowing argument

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Strengthen your relationship with al-Khaaliq.

2. Don’t fear created things.

3. Don’t call people “creator.”

4. Look at nature.

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datheetjoella · 4 years

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Fantober 2020, Day 27: Breakup

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 27/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 1,778 Tags: Canonverse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Movie Night, Teasing, The Life of a Rat Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

-------------------------------------

Heavy rainfall pattered against the building and washed over David, whose head was concealed by his fedora. This was it. This was the climax and Makoto hugged the pillow on his lap to his chest.

"That fateful day, a rat got lost in the middle of an experiment."

"It's okay," Veronica said from the bottom of the stairs, clutching her pet cat, Snowball, against her chest. "No matter who you've changed into, it won't change the moments we shared or my love for you!"

Happy memories of David and Veronica flashed across the screen as she said her piece and Makoto held his breath.

"Thank you, Veronica, but…" David whipped his head up and the wind blew his hat away. Lightning struck behind David and Veronica gasped loudly, eyebrows raised in terror. The handsome face she had fallen in love with was gone, replaced by a rat's head. Tears shimmered in David's eyes as he said, "Since you love cats, I can't live with you!"

"David! Please, no!"

"Please forgive me!"

With that, David ran off. Veronica collapsed on the stairs, weeping loudly in Snowball's white fur.

A melancholic melody began to play as the credits rolled down the screen. Makoto couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"This can't be it," he mumbled under his breath, leaning forward to fetch the remote off the coffee table. He fast-forwarded through the credits to check if there was a final scene at the end, but there wasn't. This was all there was to the movie. "I can't believe this, this can't be the end! There has to be a sequel, The Life of a Rat 3?"

"I don't know," Haruka said, absentmindedly munching on some of the leftover popcorn. "Ask Rin. He's been a fan of this franchise since day one."

Earlier that day, they were video chatting with Rin and talked about the remarkable things that happened since they last caught up with each other. When Rin asked them if they had any plans for the night, they told him they were probably going to relax and watch a movie, but they didn't have anything specific in mind. Rin recommended this duology; he'd seen both films in the cinema when they were first released a few years back and they made a lasting impression on him. By then, they'd known Rin long enough to decipher that meant he cried at least once while watching them.

Neither of them had heard of this franchise beyond an off mention here and there and while the title was a bit odd, they decided to give it a go. They watched both movies back to back and the bittersweet ending didn't exactly move Makoto to tears. Rather, he was left frustrated.

"This can't be the end of David and Veronica. They can't break up just because David has a rat head now," Makoto said, "I know Veronica loves cats and I understand that, but that doesn't mean they can't look for a solution to bring David back to who he was. Or in the very least, they could've found a way to make it work despite David being a rat!"

"Makoto, it's a movie," Haruka, who was a lot less invested in the plot, said. "Not every story has a happy ending."

"But David and Veronica love each other so much! Isn't true love supposed to conquer all?" Makoto said, adjusting his position on the couch to face Haruka. "Would you break up with me if I got fused with a rat by accident?"

"Definitely."

"Huh?" Makoto's jaw plummeted to the ground faster than Veronica fell to her knees. "What, why?"

"You know I'm only with you for your looks, right?" Haruka said, expression blank as he continued to stuff popcorn into his mouth. "If you lose that, then I don't know what's left for me to love."

Makoto stared at him in incredulity, but then the corners of Haruka's lips twitched up and a hint of a smile broke through his aloof facade. "Haru!" he complained as he smacked Haruka's legs with his pillow. "That's not funny."

Haruka pulled in his legs, folding them beneath himself and he snorted. "No, Makoto, if you somehow got amalgamated with a rat in some freaky experiment, then I wouldn't break up with you. But if you get on my nerves, I might consider setting up mouse traps around the apartment."

"Stop," Makoto said, grabbing the bowl from Haruka's arms. "If you're going to keep teasing me, then you don't deserve any more popcorn."

"I made that popcorn myself, I think I'm entitled to it."

"Try taking it back from me then." Makoto shot him a challenging look.

One glance was enough to determine it would be a losing battle for Haruka, so he tapped out before he started. "You can have it. I've had enough popcorn anyway."

It was a measly victory, but a victory nonetheless. Makoto rewarded himself by popping a piece into his mouth, the buttery yet slightly salty flavour spreading over his tongue.

"What about me?"

Haruka's voice made Makoto look up from his snack of triumph. "What about you?"

"Would you still be with me if I got turned into a rat?" Haruka asked, "And before you say yes, you have to keep in mind that that would mean you can never have a cat. I cannot, under any circumstance, be turned back human."

"I would train the cat not to attack you," Makoto said, but Haruka shook his head.

"No. There is no way for a cat and me to coexist in the same house, and you can't have a separate room or shed or anything to facilitate a cat either."

Makoto rubbed at his chin to feign contemplation, wanting to tease Haruka back a little, but then he said, "Yes, I would still be with you."

"What if you couldn't even pet your friends' cats or stray cats as long as you're with me, because my rat-scent would cling to you constantly?"

Makoto grimaced at that detail. "That sounds gross."

"It would be gross," Haruka said, "So what would it be? No more cat cafés, no more burying your face in soft fur, no more pink paws or rough tongues as long as you're together with me?"

"I'd still pick you," Makoto said decisively because there was not a grain of doubt in his mind about this, "I can always watch cat videos online."

"What if that wouldn't be allowed either?"

A chuckle left Makoto's lips. "You just want me to say I'd give anything up for you, don't you? But yes, even if that wouldn't be allowed, I would still choose you. I'd choose you over anything because I apparently love you more than Veronica loves David."

Judging by the satisfied grin that briefly darted across Haruka's face, that was indeed the answer he was fishing for. "Aren't you glad it's just a movie?" he said as he leaned back against the couch, "Next time, tell Rin to recommend us better movies."

"Well, I didn't think the movies were bad, but I wish the romantic subplot ended differently," Makoto said, "I want to see a romance that's strong and can withstand anything, no matter what. A relationship like ours."

"There aren't any movies like that," Haruka said and he sounded vehement about that fact, like he'd already watched every film that was ever created and none of them held up. "And I can't imagine one will be made soon."

"Why not?"

"Because romances in movies are fictional while our connection, our feelings for each other are real."

That reply made Makoto's mouth fall open once again, his heart melting inside his chest. Haruka stated it like it was the obvious truth, which it was, but Makoto hadn't expected him to say it. Despite their unswerving bond, there were still times when Haruka could catch him off guard, with kind words or equally thoughtful gestures.

"I guess you're right," Makoto said, a soft smile stretching his cheeks. "Maybe we should make our own movie then."

"And star in it ourselves?" Haruka said with a huff of amusement, "This movie is going to be as much of a disaster as the swim club recruitment video we shot back in high school."

"It won't be, because unlike with that video, we're actually fit to play these roles," Makoto said, "I was born to play the part of the compatible love interest. Want me to prove?"

"Show me what you've got."

Makoto put the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table, then he grabbed Haruka's hands. His gaze locked onto Haruka's as he vowed, "I don't care what you've turned into, when I said I wanted to be with you forever, I meant it with all my heart. As long as you're Haru, that's all that matters to me because I love you more than anything in the entire world."

A bright blush lit up Haruka's face and he whipped his head around, breaking the spell Makoto cast over them. Although every word he spoke was true, Haruka's reaction made him grin. It was good he wasn't the only one who could be surprised by a sincere confession.

"How was that? You can't possibly break up with someone like that, can you?"

"I wasn't planning to," Haruka said before shoving the last handful of popcorn into his mouth to distract himself.

"I thought you had enough popcorn?"

"I changed my mind."

Makoto chuckled. "As long as you don't change your mind about our relationship, that's fine by me."

"I would never," Haruka mumbled while he chewed, "You're perfectly cut out for your role in this movie."

Even though he already knew that, the reassurance was very much appreciated. "So are you." Once Haruka's mouth was empty, he leaned in and stole a kiss from his lips. Salty kisses rarely tasted this sweet. "I would love for this movie to continue and reach its climax, but it's getting pretty late. Shall we postpone it till tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Haruka said, stifling a yawn at the mention of the time. "You can be a good love interest and carry me to the bathroom."

"If that's what it takes to stay by your side, then gladly." Makoto leapt to his feet and scooped Haruka up in his arms. "You can go brush your teeth first, I'll clean up here."

"Thanks," Haruka said as he pressed another kiss to Makoto's lips.

There might not have been any cameras rolling and they weren't following a script, but as far as love stories went, Makoto was certain that theirs exceeded every other tale that had ever been told.

#i'm sorry i'm stupid #makoharu #makoharu fic #my fic #fantober2020 #colourful days with you #let me preface this by saying that no this is not a breakup fic #sorry if that's what you were expecting but look at me #do i look like someone who could write a breakup fic?? absolutely not #i can't even think about it let alone write it #nevertheless i tried my best to stick to the prompt a little #and this is the closest thing i've ever written to crack lmao #but i hope you'll like it anyway #ok that's enough from me thanks for reading i love you

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kpop-zone · 4 years

Text

Playing with Fire: Ch 2

Word Count: 2,763

Chapter 2

Because you had spent your first night after officially being Blackpink’s producer with pondering, you woke up the next day, feeling like a truck had run you over. You were extremely tired and felt like your head was completely empty. Nevertheless, you had to drag your feet to work and take an active part in all the meetings. Which was a difficult task. Everyone was having different ideas and was constantly talking all at once. After only three hours, your head felt like exploding. Right in time with the most important meeting of the day. The one with the artist.

You were sitting in the conference room next to Teddy, massaging your temples and waiting for the girls. Jennie was the first one to show up. Her gaze immediately fell on you when she entered the room and her face lit up. But when she saw your obviously pained face, her smile disappeared.

“Hi Teddy.”

She greeted the producer hastily before completely focusing on you.

“I’m glad to see you, Y/N. Are you ok?”

Worry was plastered all over her face and you wondered whether she cared about everyone that much.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

You smiled at her, hoping that you were convincing. Jennie’s gaze stayed a little while longer on you and she looked like she was about to talk back, but then the three other girls entered the room, filling it with laughter and loud chatter. Using the distraction, you leaped to your feet to avoid Jennie’s gaze and to greet the others.

After you had exchanged the pleasantries, you went straight to business. Teddy and you presented your ideas for the album and were glad when the members agreed to stick with the girl crush concept. Having talked about the basics, the two of you took turns in presenting your ideas in order to get more into detail.

Although you were busy, making sure that you gave a flawless presentation, you could feel Jennie’s eyes burning on you several times throughout the meeting. You tried your best to ignore it, but every time her feline eyes were on you, you forgot what you were talking about for a second. Much to the dismay of Teddy, who of course thought that you were unprepared or a really terrible public speaker.

You cursed yourself under your breath, when you were finished with your part. You had hoped to impress Teddy right from the beginning, but you hadn’t made a great job till now. Feeling disappointed in yourself, you broodily stared ahead, not even realizing that Jennie had inched closer to you until you could feel her hand on yours under the table. You jumped in surprise, attracting the attention of the others at the table, but you tried to play it off by pretending to be oblivious. When everyone continued to listen to Teddy again, you dared to look to your side and saw that Jennie was looking at you with a smile on her face.

“You did great.”

She whispered before removing her hand, but the damage was already done.

Your head was completely empty, and you couldn’t concentrate on a single word Teddy was saying. Therefore, the rest of the meeting was a blur and you only came back to your senses, when your older colleague closed his laptop and allowed each of you to go back to their other obligations. But although everyone was rushing off, you kept sitting on your chair, deep in thought. What was it with those girls and being touchy? Were they trying to sabotage you on purpose?

Slowly, however, you managed to defreeze. You realized that your tensed relationship with the girls might seem to be your biggest problem right now, but it wasn’t. You had an album to produce and deadlines to meet. Therefore, you pulled yourself to your feet and started to pack your stuff, ready to get to work again. But suddenly an unexpected voice in the room made you jump in surprise.

“You shouldn’t be so harsh on yourself.”

With wide eyes you turned around and saw Jennie standing in the doorway.

“I think you did great today. I really liked your ideas for the album.”

Her features were soft, and you felt a warm, fuzzy feeling inside of you.

Hearing her say those words, probably meant more to you than they should, and a faint blush started to spread on your cheeks.

“You think so? I think, I sounded like a complete idiot.”

Remembering how you couldn’t even finish one sentence without twisting at least half of the words, the feeling of being disappointed in yourself returned again. But Jennie quickly walked closer to you.

“Don’t say that. You are really talented, Y/N. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be standing next to me right now. Or do you think YG would have given just anyone this job?”

Jennie’s words sounded determined and felt like balm for your soul. She was right. You should stop overthinking everything and criticizing your work non-stop. You were a great producer and you had earned your spot in this team.

When you looked at Jennie, a smile played on your lips and you couldn’t believe that she had managed to find the words that you needed to hear after only knowing you for one day.

“Thanks, Jennie. I really needed that.”

Seeing that she had managed to raise your mood, her face lit up and her eyes formed little crescent moons.

“I’m glad, I could help. I know that this industry can be a lot to handle.”

Jennie sighted silently and you remembered that her path also hadn’t been easy.

Maybe you could be there for each other. Be each other’s moral support, even if the world around you went crazy. Therefore, you decided to find some encouraging words for her as well.

“But there are also people that make all the trouble worth it in this industry.”

You said with a grin, but as soon as the words left your lips, you wanted to take them back. Those weren’t the words, you told a person after knowing them for just one day. But Jennie didn’t seem to be bothered. Instead, a soft smile decorated her lips.

“Indeed.”

She stated, lingering her gaze on you before turning around and heading to the door.

Your heart felt like it was jumping out of your chest, but Jennie didn’t seem to be done with you yet.

“Are you coming?”

She suddenly asked over her shoulder and your body automatically followed her like a puppy.

You accompanied Jennie to the room where she had her next meeting in silence. When you arrived at the destination, you stood in front of the door awkwardly.

“Thank you for bringing me.”

Jennie broke the silence eventually and you nodded your head in response. Where was this tension coming from again? You fixed your gaze on your fidgeting fingers, but when you looked up, you saw that Jennie was already looking at you. Your eyes met and Jennie didn’t seem to be embarrassed by the fact that she had been staring at you. Instead, she held your gaze and your mouth went dry.

Her eyes were the prettiest things you had ever seen. They were so dark that you felt like losing yourself in them.

You were about to be hypnotized when you suddenly realized where your mind was going, causing you to quickly shake your head.

This wasn’t something that you should think about your co-worker.

“I...I gotta go.”

You stammered after clearing your throat and already walking backwards.

“Alright. I hope to see you soon.”

Jennie responded calmly and you wondered how you could reach her level of confidence.

Not once had she been awkward when approaching you. She had always simply spoken her mind. Nevertheless, she had never appeared indelicate. Behind that cool demeanor, you were sure to see a soft core. You were granted a glance on it, just a few minutes ago. Someone selfish wouldn’t have sensed your bad mood.

After still staring at her while walking backwards, you eventually turned your back to Jennie aprubtly, rushing off with big steps. You needed some air.

Like you had been under water, you gasped once you stepped outside, trying to clear your head by pumping oxygen into your lungs. But the sight of Jennie’s eyes didn’t leave your brain. And the feeling of her hand on yours was tattooed under your skin.

She was dangerous. And you needed to stay away from danger.

But this was easier said than done. After all, Jennie was your co-worker. Therefore, you had to see her every single day. And she didn’t make your job easy either. Whenever you met her, she smiled brightly and walked up to you, asking you how you were doing. And no matter how hard you tried to fob her off with standard answers, she always wanted to know the truth.

Soon you felt yourself getting closer and closer to her against your will. You shared things with her that you had left unspoken in the past and often caught yourself, asking her for advice.

But you knew it was wrong.

You were supposed to work solely on a professional level. Catching feelings, no matter which kind, would only complicate things.

Therefore, you decided to give the two of you a break. At one point you started to avoid Jennie as best as possible and if you had to meet her, you made sure not to be alone. To facilitate going through with your decision, you chose to increasingly work with Rosé instead of Jennie. You had written a song almost completely alone and you needed a lead singer. You could have chosen Jennie, because you knew that she was capable to take the lead in a song, but you chose to go with Rosé.

When you announced your decision, the disappointment was visible in Jennie’s face and you had to avoid her gaze, because your heart felt heavy, seeing her this way. You knew that it was unfair. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She hadn’t been anything but nice to you. And now you ditched her like she was some worn out toy.

You hoped that she would move on quickly. After all, you were only her producer and there were several other talented people working on this album.

But apparently, you were the only producer that she wanted.

One day, you came into the company earlier than everyone else to get a kickstart. You were just about to enter one of the studios, when you could see a shadow in the corner of your eye. You turned your head, expecting one of the cleaning ladies, but it was Jennie instead who sheepishly made her way over to you. You lost your tongue, simply hoping for her to pass you, but of course she came to a halt only a few steps away from you.

But this time, Jennie didn’t greet you with on of her gummy smiles. This time, her face stayed stern and pensive. Your roles seemed to be switched, because this time it was her who avoided your gaze. Only when you made a move to enter the studio, she grabbed your arm to hold you back.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Jennie looked at you with desperation in her eyes and guilt washed over you. It was you that had made her voice sound so silent and broken.

“No of course not. Why would you think that?”

You asked, although you already knew the answer.

“I feel like you’re avoiding me.”

Jackpot. It had always been just a matter of time till she figured it out, but you still couldn’t let her know the truth.

“I’m not avoiding you, Jennie. Why should I?”

You smiled at her, trying to take away her sadness, but Jennie didn’t seem to be satisfied with your answer yet.

“I don’t know. But we’re not talking anymore like we used to.”

Jennie opted to avoid your eyes and you were suddenly granted a glance on her weak side again. Her confidence seemed to be washed away and all that was left was a girl that felt left alone. All you wanted to do was to hug her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. But you couldn’t.

Nevertheless, you weren’t cruel enough to let her carry the weight of having messed up your relationship any longer. Therefore, you reached out to grab her hand, causing her to look at you.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve just had a lot of stress lately. And my decision to work with Rosé instead of you, was just based on the fact that I have more experience working with singers than with rappers. My decision was purely professional, not personal.”

This time Jennie seemed to believe you, because her face brightened up a bit.

“So everything’s good between us?”

She asked, giving you puppy dog eyes and your eyes softened.

“Of course.”

Finally, you were allowed to see her gummy smile and you felt your own lips forming a smile in response as well.

“I’m really glad to hear that. I have been worried the past weeks.”

Jennie admitted while nervously looking at her hands that were tightly clasped together.

Avoiding Jennie had been a plan in need for improvement from the start. But now, it was a plan that was no longer executable. You couldn’t make Jennie worry that much ever again. No matter whether it was the right thing to do or not, you cared too much about her to let that happen.

“Don’t worry anymore. You need your energy to focus on the comeback.”

You assured her and Jennie nodded in response.

“I know.”

Silence was surrounding you suddenly, so you gave her a last smile before wanting to enter the studio, thinking that you had talked about everything that needed to be said.

“Do you want to grab something to eat with me this evening?”

Jennie suddenly blurted out and you whipped your head around in shock.

“I...I need some advice because of a song. I know you’re working with Rosé, but I hoped that you could give me some tips too.”

She added nervously and you searched for the right answer in your head, but you were completely baffled.

Was she really only searching for professional advice?

How could you say no then? You weren’t trying to make favorites in the group. Everyone deserved the same amount of attention. Only because you had worked hard on the song that Rosé was taking the lead in, didn’t mean that you could neglect the other girls.

And it wasn’t like she asked you for a date. Therefore, you cleared your throat to make your voice sound more or less steady despite the huge amount of adrenaline that was rushing through your veins right now.

“Yes sure. You can always ask me for advice.”

You smiled and Jennie looked like she was seconds away from jumping into your arms in excitement. But she held herself back and only bowed to you slightly.

“Thank you. I’m going to pick you up here then. Around seven?”

Jennie asked and you gave her an awkward thumps up before finally opening the door to the studio. Flashing you another gummy smile, she waved at you before skipping away. You looked after her until she rounded a corner. Your heart was pounding like crazy again, so you slipped into the studio where you leaned against the door and closed your eyes.

Since the first time you had seen the girls, you knew that they were trouble.

And now you already seemed to be too caught up in it to free yourself.

You needed to brace yourself for tonight. It could either tangle you up further into this mess or loosen the ties that were choking you up. It all depended on how professional Jennie would keep this night. Exhaling a shaky breath, you pushed yourself off the door to go to your desk. Right when you sat down, however, you could hear knocks on the door.

A second later, Rosé stuck her head in the door, and you remembered that you had arranged a meeting to discuss the further steps regarding the song that she was taking the lead in.

With a smile you stood up to greet her. She reciprocated the gesture while entering the room, giving you the chance to let your eyes wander up and down her body.

Had it been a good idea to avoid Jennie by getting closer to Rosé?

#dragonaceflamez #kpop-zone #blackpink #blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #blackpink reactions #collaboration #playing with fire #blackpink jennie #blackpink rose #blackpink jisoo #blackpink lalisa #jennie #jisoo #rose #lisa

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