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lizmindpalace · 2 years

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Blood and Crime

Summary: A new and unusual murderer will make Sherlock change in ways he would have never expected.

Warnings: In this work there will be eventual explicit content, graphic depictions of violence, there may be a lot of triggers such as anxiety, depression, paranoid, mental illness, murder, suicidal tendencies, horror, very toxic relationships, manipulation, sexual innuendoes, gore, lots of blood, nightmares, fantasy and vampires.

You can find it also on AO3.

Chapter 7- Crime

Newspapers could be found piled up in the centre of the living room at Baker Street on the little table when a recent and interesting crime was slowly encroaching the attention of everyone in London, a serious crime, either because it was ticklish and involved ravening murderers or because it had to be solved having a race against time. It was almost unfathomable the way facts could be twisted among the lines of the sensationalism of the London press and in order to approach as much as possible to the real story, the notes of every newspaper had to be read, hence the coincidences in all of them could be found.

However, in this specific case, there was little to be told, most of journalists agreed that the atrocity of the crime had been vast, and at the same time invisible, they could not decide, allegedly the case was so eerie, they were all perplexed and their tiny detective skills were useless now, they could not find a rational explanation to the thread that had led to that situation. John, on the other hand, trusted Sherlock would be able to make the pieces fall into places and solve that puzzle, no matter how much tangled it was.

"So?"

John knew Sherlock's eyes shone every time he had a clue, even if his face remained emotionless, and that triumph expression was now drawn in his pupils, defeating his cold and apathetic look.

"I haven't figured it out yet" he muttered. "I will, soon".

Sherlock had given in his habit of smoking and nicotine patches turned out being an effective displacement to fight anxiety, product of the uncertainty that the lack of knowledge brings with it, as if it was a thunder that surprises an individual lost in the middle of the darkness, yet over the last days, Sherlock had increased the amount of patches from three to seven but his anxiety or desire for an adictive substance, that was not cocaine or morphine, would not recede.

He had adopted his usual but always weird position that indicated he was wandering through his mind palace and John noticed he was having trouble focusing, so he decided to give him some time alone, after all, he had things to do and the feeling of a crime such as this one was dismal... or enthralling, it depended on the individual, or rather if his last name was Watson or Holmes.

It was a mental clinic in the north of London, in the area where the patients under serious conditions were treated, whose mental health was completely damaged. That wing in the hospital served as shelter for people that suffered from schizophrenia and were no longer able to discern real life from their hallucinations, real people from their persecutors; dissociative identity disorder and some with several and more complicated illnesses such as zoophagous people and even there was a case of cannibalism that was under control, according to the expert of the hospital.

In words of the nurses, one of the patients, who had not been so long there and whose diagnose had recently improved, had to be putted down once more using tranquilisers over the last week, due to a sudden and unexpected aggressive period as well as uneasiness, both making a mortal combination, almost impossible to control. At night, a tranquiliser would be injected after dinner, hence he could sleep, the patient would show some resistance because he argued there was some kind of presence waiting for him to fall asleep though. It was planned some brain radiographs would be taken to find out if it was schizophrenia the new inhabitant of his brain, the one that produced the deliriums.

That evening he had persisted with his ideas; he said the shadow he would always see under the moonlight that came through the little hole, that was supposed to be a window, had told him it would be his last night. The nurses tried to make him stay calm, tried to shut his fears and provided him the medicine, as they would do now every night. The next morning once they unlocked the door, they found out lying on the floor a distorted face: puffy closed eyes, broken nose, twisted lips, disfigured cheekbones as though he had received a thrashing, the spine was also broken, and he had suffered from an acute anaemia, there was not a single drop of blood in his body. The view left everyone flabbergasted, no one was able to find an explanation to such a violent death for a man, and the way the facts had occurred was also an enigma that could not be solved.

Lestrade was also surprised, and he also lacked a proper explanation of the facts, he was limited by his abilities in the criminology science, so he had called Sherlock at first time in the morning, hoping that his knowledge and abilities would be of use, and he could actually explain what had happened in that case with such a turbulent and dark environment, he knew it was Sherlock's speacialty and at any second, he would be begging for him to come to the crime scene.

A couple of hours later, the detective moved around the room with cold but light hues as if it was a place he knew well. There was no trace of intruders, no one who was an outsider had been there, except for the detective himself, of course, who carefully walked from one spot to another and was now examining the corpse, there was no trace of murder, yet those injuries had to be produced by someone else, the victim could not have done that to himself, and in addition, no one had heard anything, not a single noise coming from either the room or another part of the hospital. It had been a quiet night for the patients, allegedly, everyone had deeply slept, regardless the fact the screams of the victim must have uttered, due to that massacre, should have been heard all around the place, and someone should have gone to give a look, to help.

"Any theory?" Lestrade was shocked, and that picture had left a knot in his stomach that would not disappear before some time, at least some days.

"Two" Sherlock snickered, he didn't think he had to force himself to hide his fun, he hadn't had such a good mood since a long time ago, and this case was both interesting and dreadful, features he loved when it came to a case. Sometimes detective inspector Lestrade could not stand Sherlock Holmes' behaviour, and his blood would freeze.

"Which are?" he asked in an attempt to rush things; hence he could send Sherlock home and stop seeing that damn sociopathic smile.

"Either he was killed under the effects of a strong drug or poison, or someone in this place murdered him and had some allies. We'll wait for the forensic examination results".

The detective went back to Baker Street under the moonlight, the coldness was slapping his curls and immaculate face, but he didn't feel cold.

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You can read the finished work in Spanish on Wattpad.

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haleyfalkenberg3 · 2 years

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#wedding photographers cape town

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maxwell-grant · 2 years

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PET THEORY: While others cannot see a vampire's reflection, when a vampire looks into a reflective surface they behold all their sins reflected back at them in a visibly twisted version of their own person (Very few of them enjoy the experience, since they prefer to regard themselves as something other than walking corpses rotten with stolen blood and their own Evil).

I like this one. I like ideas that go out of their way to make vampires weirder and less natural than they already are, especially when they are built around contrasting or defying the usual expectations about vampires. It's something I'm VERY much looking forward to in the next season of What We Do In The Shadows, considering the state they've left Colin Robinson in and how they've been playing up the weirdness of energy vampires by contrast with regular vampires.

Actually, what this reminds me of is something I picked up more recently in a recent rewatch of one of my top 3 favorite films, Phantom of the Paradise, a film that has no literal vampires, but pulls a lot of influences from supernatural horror fiction and, really it's the kind of film where vampires existing wouldn't even be one of the weirdest things about this world.

To give a brief overview in case you don't know about it and only recognize it through the works that referenced it which you have DEFINITELY seen even if you don’t think you have, the story of POTP is about a disgraced composer named Winslow Leach who hands over his cantata about Faust to be produced by the all-powerful mogul Swan, who ends up stealing it and having Winslow beaten and framed and sent to prison (where his teeth are all pulled out). He ends up escaping and being heavily disfigured by a record press of his own stolen music, and after he reemerges as a costumed Phantom attacking Swan's production, Swan ends up conning him into a Faustian deal where he'll give him a new voice and have his music performed the way he wants it to, by the woman he loves (Phoenix, played by Jessica Harper in her first role), as long as Winslow accepts working for him.

I should probably mention also that Winslow was extremely obsessive over his music even before he became the Phantom, which is why he agrees to work for Swan. He is okay with working for the man that destroyed him as long as his music gets performed, because from beginning to end, Phantom of the Paradise is a painstakingly clear and brutal criticism of the music industry and that informs every single aspect of the movie, even down to miniscule details like Swan employing bikers as henchmen (referencing the infamous Altamont Free Concert where the Rolling Stones employed Hell's Angels) or a gag where Swan serves "Breakfest!" to Winslow while opening a briefcase full of drugs.

This is a very brief overview and doesn't begin to convey the experience of watching this movie, but I have to get it out of the way first to talk about Swan and why it relates to this ask. This is Swan, played by Paul Williams.

The quickest way to describe Swan is that he's Dorian Gray meets Phil Spector (he’s been called a “dark parody” of Spector, but he’s not really a parody, if anything he’s nowhere near the ghoul that the real Spector was known to be even at the time). He's the film's villain and an all-powerful producer and living legend of entertainment, whose goal throughout the film is to complete construction of "The Paradise" opera house, described as "his Xanadu", in one of the film's many allusions to Orson Welles. Swan's always even-tempered and manipulative and extremely charming and persuasive, to the characters as well as the audience (I cannot overstate how great Paul Williams is and what a goddamn crime it is that he's never been asked to voice or play The Penguin outside of TAS), even when we know from his first scene that he's rotten.

Said scene is a parody of The Godfather's opening scene, where Swan's hidden off camera except for his white gloves and his main assistant Philbin's begging him to solve his problems with a rebellious star named Annette (whose only crimes, according to Philbin, are breaking contract, suing them for taking advantage of her and "giving free concerts to starving gook orphans"). When Philbin asks Swan to break her, Swan merely asks "Is that all?", to which Philbin replies "Isn't that enough?", and Swan replies that Annette, who's at the top of the charts, is "yesterday's news" for what he's looking for in his next venture, which turns out to be Winslow. A poor shmuck who just so happens to produce music that greatly appeals to Swan, so he takes the music and destroys the man, and when the man transforms into something too angry and strange to die, Swan finds a way to bleed him dry as much as he can before he comes up with a new way to put him away for good when he’s no longer got anything left to give.

(Fanart by Spoonfayse)

I bring this up to show how effectively the film establishes Swan early on as this supernaturally powerful force of evil, in that the very concept of "breaking" a person, something the brutish thug Philbin considers a great deal, is passe and unremarkable to Swan, something he does daily for breakfest and with zero investment, because all he cares about is the pursuit of his own desires. He is so powerful and uncaring, he even purposefully kneecaps his own stars for being too perfect, because he says "You know how I abhor perfection in anyone other than myself". And yeah, I know I'm quoting the movie a lot, it's fucking amazing and I want to shout it from the rooftops how much I love it, but I need to get across what kind of character he is to get to the next bit.

One detail of Swan throughout the film is that he never allows himself to be photographed or taped, he's seen mainly through mirrors or logos or audio before he actually shows up on screen, and the film consistently plays up Swan's manipulation of media, how he’s got cameras all over the place watching everything and how he’s constantly surrounded by mirrors and smokescreens. We later find out that Swan is immortal, after his attempted suicide resulted in him making a deal with the devil for eternal youth, and he's gotten both Winslow and Phoenix to sign the same contract binding all their souls together, and that in order to uphold this immortality, Swan has to watch every day the tape he made of his attempted suicide/contract so that, much like Dorian Gray, the version of himself on the tape ages and decays instead of him. Later, when Winslow breaks into Swan's viewing room, he sees that the tape of Swan's deal also includes a tape recording of his own deal with Swan, as well as Phoenix's.

Early on in the movie, before the true nature of Swan's deals are revealed, we get to see one of the very few times Swan displays weakness, which is also the only scene in the movie where we get to see Swan entirely on his own without anyone around him. It's a scene where he's watching a taped recording of his deal with Winslow, but with his voice altered, sounding both older and as well as far raspier and crueler, the same voice that Winslow's going to hear later when he watches the same recordings.

This is the one time in the movie where Swan seems to not be in control of the situation, the other being the finale, where his show is ruined, the Paradise's in chaos, his face is rotting, and he's trying to strangle Phoenix while screaming "YOUR VOICE, REMEMBER! YOU PROMISED ME YOUR VOICE!" in the same voice Paul Williams used for these recordings, and it pairs up with the scene where we get to see Swan's own initial deal: He was afraid of his looks being ruined by age, so he decided to kill himself young rather than fade away. He became immortal to try and defeat the inevitable decay brought by time, and ended up decaying anyway and bringing others down with him.

This is a strangely, uniquely sympathetic moment for a character who's otherwise completely irredeemable, and it opens up the question of whether his anguish in the scene comes from merely disgust over the sight of what he ultimately is and looks like, over seeing that which he tries to pretend isn't him, or whether it's a form of regret over what he's putting Winslow through and seeing that he too isn't as different from Winslow as he'd like to be, as later when Winslow tries to stab himself to death and fails, and then tries to stab Swan, Swan plucks the knife and grimly remarks "I'm under contract too.*

It creates a correlation between Swan and Winslow as two shmucks with great talent but little wisdom, who signed deals with forces beyond their understanding and became masked monsters as a result. Swan, for all his power and mystique and cruelty, is himself a victim of the entertainment industry he rules over, even before his demise where he is killed not just by the Phantom, but by his own audience perpetuating the violence Swan’s been selling to them since the beginning of the film, dancing over both of their corpses, still hungry for more.

To bring this back to the original point a little, Phantom of the Paradise includes a lot of references to horror fiction, not just in it’s elements taken from Phantom of the Opera and Faust and Dorian Grey but also smaller references here and there to works like Nosferatu. There’s arguments to be made that both of the titular characters of POTP could be vampires, Winslow in his monstrous persona, superhuman efforts, brutal murders after he becomes The Phantom, and his continued existence fueled by love and hatred at equal measure, and Swan, in his deceptful and predatory demeanor, his vast ability to manipulate and command even in a hypnotic fashion, and his unending consumption of all the corpses he’s built an empire on. That both of their attempts to attain immortality backfire on the two of them is certainly consistent with the prevailing idea in vampire fiction, that being a vampire is ultimately a terrible deal for all parties involved.

But I think there’s an argument to be made that, if anything in Phantom of the Paradise constitutes a vampire in it’s most dangerous, primal form, it’s not any of it’s main characters. It’s the audience. The audience that they chase and attain and find themselves unable to live without. The audience that Swan commands and corrupts as easily as he does everything else, the audience that abandons Winslow and makes a party of his misery, the audience that Phoenix sells her soul to Swan for the minute she realizes she cannot live without, the audience that cheers the hardest for Beef when he’s a charred corpse carried away in a stretcher. The audience that consumes and spits out all of them and trods on, hungry for more, hungry for everything and without end, because it’s all just part of the show, it’s all entertainment, it’s all another way to keep us, those in the audience seats, sated.

We watch vampire stories for the same reason we watch stories period: because there’s an 3-pound electric flesh sponge burrowed in your head that’s piloting your every motion and thought and, to keep running, demands to be fed stimulation and nourishment at every turn, and if you don’t feed it, it starts to eat you instead. It feeds to live and it lives to feed and it’s hunger only grows, and there’s nothing you can do about it but try and find ways to make peace with it, and try to survive the whims of others who have not, before it’s too late. The person dies, but the hunger remains, consuming even those that try to weaponize it or enjoy it. The hunger of showbiz is what all comes down to.

"And though your music lingers on

"All of us are glad you're gone"

"If I could live my life half as worthlessly as you"

"I'm convinced I'd wind up burning too"

The major themes of the piece are set out in the first song, "Goodbye Eddie," about a singer who commits suicide in hopes of making his debut album a posthumous hit. As the song reaches its end, Juicy Fruit Archie Hahn pantomimes Eddie's suicide, playfully pretending to slice his wrist open with his own microphone, and then writhing in pain on the floor as his bandmates seemingly obliviously continue to perform around him.

Encapsulated in this song and in Hahn's performance are the concepts that people will do anything, even killing themselves, in exchange for the chance for success; that the public eats this up, making Eddie's "memorial" album a hit; and that the Juicy Fruits' own audience is thrilled to see a simulated suicide -- even one performed for laughs -- onstage.

As the film progresses, the onstage carnage (and the audience's reactions to it) become more and more serious, mimicking (and anticipating) the real-world one-upsmanship of performers who commit ever more outrageous acts in an effort to outdo themselves and their competitors for the public's attention, with the ultimate attention-getter being complete self-destruction.

We make our way from Hahn's innocent goofing with the knife/microphone to the simulated spearing of mannequin audience members, to Beef's impromptu electrocution, to a premeditated "assassination live on television coast to coast," as Swan has his henchman take aim at his bride during their televised wedding, and finally to Swan's and Winslow's onstage deaths, which the crowd assumes to be just part of the show. Ultimately, Swan, Phoenix, and the Phantom are all destroyed by their own ambition, as the audience at the Paradise takes it in with glee.

Phantom's melding of "the show" and "the real", perhaps inspired by Altamont and the resulting 1970 Gimme Shelter documentary, anticipated today's "reality" shows, the success of which proves that there's a hunger that mere "fictional" tragedy no longer satisfies. As De Palma predicted with Phantom, the culture demands entertainment that is more and more visceral, with the most desensitized among us insisting upon manipulated "reality" as entertainment, and snuff films the inevitable end result; people are willing to watch video of New York's twin towers tumble hundreds of times, and entire websites have been dedicated to photographs of unfortunates jumping out of the skyscrapers to escape the heat.

Of course, in order for "death as entertainment" to flourish, there must be a culture that is sufficiently interested to watch it, while being sufficiently apathetic to do nothing about it; and Phantom is as much an observation of that culture as it is an indictment of the media machine that happily provides that culture with what it wants.

There's nothing new about a culture of "death as entertainment" of course; it's been around at least since the Romans came up with throwing Christians to the lions. But it's something we like to think we have risen above;

Phantom reminds us that we haven't - “It’s More Than Just Songs”, by The Swan Archives

#vampires #phantom of the paradise #brian de palma #paul williams #william finley #jessica harper #vampire fiction #replies tag #yes this movie lives rent-free in my head 24/7 and I will take any excuse to rant about it #why do you ask?

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pellelavellan-a · 2 years

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Pelle's magic developed as he aged. He learned more and more about what he could do as he grew up and none of it was intentional.

It started when he was a toddler, talking to spirits and being overly sensitive to the feelings and emotions of living things. While he still has this ability it was a lot more potent when he was very young when he frightened his family because he often knew what was on their minds even if he could barely articulate it with words. His speaking with the supernatural frightened them as well. Even as an adult Pelle does not fully see demons as demons, he sees twisted and tormented spirits and takes pity on them.

When he was around six he discovered he had the ability to heal when he began doctoring small animals caught in the hunters' traps. This was also when Deshanna noticed that his weird quirks were a product of magic as well as around the time his eyes shifted from brown to amber.

Once he was a little older between ten and twelve and was allowed to stray a bit further from the village with supervision he noticed that animals that were otherwise threatening to others did not react to him the way they did others. They were calm with him, he could pet wolves, bears, etc like old friends. He could not explain it much but it became apparent that his own aura was calming, the only living beings interested in hurting him were people who had come with the intention beforehand.

It was around the same time he noticed he had a low sense of presence around people if he didn't announce himself first. He could stand in rooms and not be noticed if he didn't make his presence obvious.

When he was a teenager two strange things happened. He found out he could not only sense emotions in people, but he could sense other energies around him and whether they were light or dark. An example of this would be when he and Aela discovered the cave deep in the woods that was cultivating red lyrium that greatly distressed him to even get close to once he reached a certain distance. He could not explain it to her well enough but the cave felt dark and twisted to him and he did not want to enter because he sensed danger.

When that ability became more obvious, hunters found it useful to bring him along occasionally because they believed that he could steer them away from dangerous places and people. Sometimes it worked, but typically was far more accurate with the supernatural than with humans.

When he was seventeen he discovered something that impressed his people and inadvertently sealed his fate in being pressured to have children. He not only was sensitive to nature and living things but he could manipulate the trees around him as well as things that were made from them. This was discovered when he panicked and tried to defend himself from a qunari and impaled them with a piece of scrap wood from broken housing with magic. After he learned he could do this he tested it on actual trees and found he could manipulate them to an extent and began practicing to gain better control over the ability to prevent clumsy accidents.

As an adult he has been known to tie people down with tree roots or in some cases crush them if his life depended on it. He has and will always try to avoid taking life because it feels wrong to him, though most times he doesn't have to kill anyone once the trees start listening to him--that tends to scare most humans away.

#about pelle #cw: brief mention of violence #basically pelle is a psychic medium with extra steps #i have a mind to think in a dnd setting he would be a druid for sure lol

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firelonewolf · 3 years

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Irresistible

Summary: basically the reader like Deadpool and Deadshot and well, Deathstroke. Let's just a few tweaks from all of three of them. And let's say Billy Butcher sort of loves the wild card type of woman as well.

Pairing: Billy Butcher x Supe!Reader

A/N: I figured this might be interesting for Butcher to have. Gonna admit, I used google translator for the Arabic. Sorry if it's wrong. Also remember the reader mainly gonna be like Deadpool, you'll have to expect some dirty language! Not mention I had to, because Deadpool's humor hilarious. Originally I had this edited, but Tumblr messed up, again. And I'm too lazy for it.

Being a product of a lab wasn't the best. Besides the point when they decided to throw you in an orphanage. Where you spent your days hating life because no one ever wanted you. Than before you knew it, you ended up being adopted in middle school. All because you picked pocket the wrong person, a man who was blind. His name was Idris Salah a man from Egypt. Little did you know, he knew from being a US Marines before. A lonely man who took it upon himself to spend time with you. Where you learned self defense, he pushed you to use it for good instead of bad. Even made you learned more skills that were useful. You could say he was your father figure.

It should also be mentioned he didn't force religion on you or anything. But Idris wasn't very religious himself either, but was somewhat. He mainly taught you what it was like to have family, hes a good man. A man who's side you still stick with.

Like when both of you found you were a product of Vought, and than when it came out all superheros were made in labs. And you found out you were one of them. Idris was the one who told you it didn't make you any less of who you were. Which was a superhuman. What could you do though?

Well, you had regenerative healing no matter what. But you had low leveled enhancement, with strength, stamina, agility. But you had enhanced eyesight and dexterity and had excellent marksmanship. Skilled with swords. Immunity to diseases and chemicals. Than on top of it you learned Spanish, Arabic, Japanese, Urudu and a couple of others. You mainly spoke Arabic with Idris to not lose that.

And ever since you became an adult, things took a different turn. Before you knew it you became a mercenary somewhat. Which lead you ending up working for other people for money. Paying your and Irdis's bills and groceries and saving for his retirement. And than becoming a parent didn't help.

You had a daughter, and you let her stay with her father. He refused to give you full custody knowing what you can do. Her name was Samara, but liked to be called "Ara." She liked being called that for some reason. Perhaps it had a better ring to her? You're not sure but she was one of the most important people to you.

Today was suppose to be the normal. Normal as in do your usual assassinations of who ever. Send a message to whoever. Anything that was scheduled for your job. This who were, nothing else. After dropping Ara at school you headed to the park apparently a client wanted to disgust a business opportunity.

Wearing a dark gray sweater with black pants and boots. With some makeup to your eyes pop out than there was a backpack on your back. Black shades on your eyes. Sitting on park bench leaning your back against it. In the middle of Central Park in early October. Let's say you looked badass even with casual wear, and you bet your ass you knew it too.

Some sat behind you, you could sense it despite your back turned. "Chilly day isn't it?" You hear a feminine voice say. Shrugging your shoulders in response.

"Indeed. Nothing compare to the weather in a few months" you remark glancing around the area. Making sure no one else was around in a earshot.

"Agree. NYC in winter one of the worst places to drive" she remarks back to you. "If I'm correct, your Death Strike correct?" She inquires to you in response. That makes you laugh pulling a cigarette out not lighting it. Just biting down on it still appreciating the ritual.

"One and only" you remark. Touching the paper of the cigarette. Enjoying the taste of non smoked tobacco. Simply enjoying it to remain less stressed at the point. "Have a job for me sweetheart?"

A chuckle came from her at this point. "Madelyn Stillwell CEO of Vought International, and boy, or should I say boys, do I have a job for you. You might like this one than your usual. You interested?" She inquires to you with a grin.

"Is there money involved?" You remark with a smirk.

"Lots of money," she remarks. "Come back to Vought International with me, we'll disgust." Reluctantly you agreed following her as she made casual conversation with you. Soon enough taking off her coat and bringing you to a meeting room.

Never did you expect yourself to be in the Seven's floor, ever. Moving to the meeting room you than spotted the one, the only, Homelander. Scout boy that Vought tried to present to the world, but you knew it was a lie. No one was ever a good two shoes, especially someone with his gifts. Homelander noticed your presence and made eye contact seizing your up. "Makan jamil" you say in Arabic observing the place.

"You speak Arabic too? Your file never said that." Stillwell comments to you.

"Learned it when I was twelve," you remark back. "Let's disgust business. I'll get it done soon a possible," you say to her.

"Wait a minute before we start. You're the mercenary, Death Strike?" Homelander inquires to you making you chuckle.

"Blondie, what did you expect? A man six foot and bald?" You grin in response. Taking the fake cigarette out of your mouth placing it in your pant pocket. "Sorry to be a disappointment."

Homelander flashed his Hollywood in your direction. "Its just, your too pretty to be a mercenary. Figured you to be a model or well, a bartender something more common." He remarks back to you with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Flattering will get you everywhere" you turned away to hide your smile. "Don't let me deceive you, I'm quite the wild card type" replying to him. This seem to catch his interest.

"I wouldn't underestimate her," Stillwell pipes up. "Shes never missed a shot. Killing her isn't a solution either" she comments. Before her gaze meeting yours. "I've gone through some old Vought files. You were registered under a different name, I believe it was Wilson or something as your surname. Took a while, but you're basically immortal. Regenerative abilities with immunity to many chemicals and diseases. Everything just grows back, like an axolotl. Others think your a psychopath or not mentally all there. Some believe she had the ability to manipulate bullets. Mind telling me that if that's true?" She shrugged your shoulders again that.

"I'm just here for my contract and money. Now who do you want killed?" You remark getting right down to business. "Need guys balls smacked into reality? How about nice bullet to massage their head?" You inquire to them. "Which one, I have a variety options!" Awaiting the answer. Leaning your waist against the table.

Both of them glanced at each other before Homelander leaned forward. "Perhaps for now, I need you to teach a lesson to someone. Someone named William "Billy" Butcher. We want you to send the guy to message, anything of your picking." Butcher, interesting surname in your opinion.

Must've been the temperamental type, it had to be a trait in the family. Why else would there ancestors gain the surname Butcher? "Got it. He should be an interesting one, Butcher. Twist of his balls should turn change his mind about doing whatever hes been doing to piss you off." You remark, "I'll expect the money to be in my account in about let's say, by at least eight tonight. Won't be long before I have him in my sights." You say heading to the elevator of the tower. About to take a turn at the elevator. "Hope I see you around blondie" winking with a charming smile. Leaving knowing you've caught the interest of the American golden boy.

Having fun with it when you could was great. Might as well take advantage make sure your rememberable, and you know you are. Heading out of Vought International you headed straight to be loft. Idris sat in the recliner listening to the radio with his cane by him. "(Y/N)? What took you so long? Actually, I'd figured you be at the bar by now." Idris says not turning his head.

"Oh you know, I had to go tickle someones ball. Had to put my hand to work, give a little anal" you remark. To feel Idris stare and turning to see the expression on his face. "I'm kidding! Had another business opportunity. Have a date with a Mr. Butcher, give him a nice signal maybe convince him to doll himself up for me."

"Sometimes I question why no orphanage doesn't give a receipt" Idris comments to himself.

"Than who would annoy you?" You remark as you grab your suit and mask and weapons. Only to hear the remark of a annoyed sigh from Idris. "I'll be back" you say to mimick Arnold Schwarzenegger from Terminator. It only takes a few minutes to get the suit on and the weapons.

Your suit was a body tactical that had two colors on it in general. That had gloves and boots that went well, a friend name Ferret designed it. Your suit mostly had a scheme that matched the color of Mars which is an iron oxide color. With some orange on it and dark black on it. Mostly having a belt around you holding your handguns. Than two wakizashi. Let's say your suit matched a certain mercenary that didn't want to join the boy band of the X-men and a hitman part of a Suicide Squad. But you know one thing for sure, you're more badass than those two. Than your mask was plain with those schemes with eye shaped holes. On your right eye was a red scope. Gadgets were even on your belt, that should be mentioned.

Grabbing your backpack with a sniper slinging it on your back. Than hid a knife in your boot just in case. Heading out you called a favorite Uber driver of yours, his name is Deshpande. Why was he your favorite? He never questioned why you had these weapons. Simply drove while making casual conversation.

And let me tell you, this guy was epic for an average joe! As you waited on the sidewalk to see the usual little green car pull up. Getting in the passenger seat of the car. "Hello Deshpande" you say at the scrawny man beside you in the driver seat.

"Hello Ms. Strike, how is your day?" He says as he begins to drive.

"Oh, you know the usual. New job, but today I just have to make a guy shit his pants and its over and done with." You casually say sitting back into the seat. "How was your day?"

"Well my girlfriend is great. She keeps pressuring me to get a haircut" he comments. To where you pull out your found watching the red dot that you've gotten on your target. "She thinks my hair is too long. But other than that things have been great!" He comments with a bright smile.

"Oh! So my advice worked from last time. Told you so" you lightly push him. "Your too cute to resist for her." You remarked to him proudly.

"I am very grateful for your assistance Ms. DS," he remarks back. "My girlfriend and I have been happy ever since I threatened my romantic rival. And I scared him away from ever contacting her," he says with a complete innocent smile. Yes, you gave him advice to terrorize the fellow away, but it worked in his favor. Not like either one of you cared though, not like anyone would stop you.

"I'm so proud of you. I feel like a parent, well I am one. But one towards my own son!" You say with your hand over your heart. A little tear slipped out from under your suit. Than he pulled up to two buildings with an alleyway in between each. "Okay, Deshpande, I need you to wait here. Because I'll need a ride back, and I will give you the money for being my getaway driver and all. Wait here, and do not panic. Be back in a sec!" You cheerfully say before exiting the car. Than climb up on the roof of one building. Sitting down you sit above the alleyway and take your sniper out. Than glance at your phone to see a transaction of around 1,000,000 added to it. With a smirk you relax and adjust your gun in the right position.

While waiting you begin to whistle a song like a bird casually. Than spot a group of men walking out into the alley. "Butcher would you just listen!?" One muscular says trailing after the guy with the long jacket and dark hair.

"Give me a good reason why!" He remarks back in a rough accent. You had to admit, he's cute. And than that accent was the icing on the cake! It was like magic to you. Good thing you didn't have to kill the guy. Beginning to aim you targeted his shoulder and steadied yourself at the target. As they continued on rambling your finger snaked to the trigger. Than at the open opportunity you shot and moved fast. Slinging the sniper around you and racing to the direction of Deshpande and using rope to go down to the ground. Cussing could be heard as you raced to the car.

Deshpande surprised at you holling ass into the car, once you got in stepped on it. Amused you laughed still hearing cussing from the target. But it didn't mean they didn't see you. Kimiko ended up on the roof where you were before, and searched the area. Hughie on the other hand was flipping out while Frenchie was trying to apply pressure on the wound. From the bullet hole it was deep but not deep enough for fatal damage. Blood was covering the shirt though and jacket.

MM raced to find any sign of the car he heard racing away. But that was merely only a couple of hours ago. Frenchie managed to get the bullet out and they cleaned Billy's wound. Billy on the other hand was furious, whoever this person it must've been from the cunts at Vought. Particularly Homelander sending him a message. He immediately was out on a hunt despite the protest of Hughie trying to reason with them. That perhaps Vought forced you to do this, Butcher thought otherwise. A inside job like this was a willing one, if they really wanted someone forced it would've been Black Noir who did it.

Nah, you agreed to it willingly for the money they gave you. And you must've known something about them, he wanted to find out. So when Billy a couple days later found out where he could find you, he took the opportunity. Now he figured whoever this guy was, he was gonna beat them up than get answers. It had to be a guy named Wade or Lloyd some douchebag name like that.

Walking in the bar it was partly empty but somewhat not. Light music played in the background as he walked in. Guys at the bar smoked and talked amongst themselves. Cigarettes filled the air as he began to glance around the area. For some reason he was expecting the guy to show up any time. As he leaned his side into the bar table a the bartender glanced at him. It was some tall guy with long hair and a beard but nerd looking. He also had glasses with somehow a nerdy style. "Give me a scotch will you?" He says to the bartender.

In the corner he spotted a woman. Wearing a dark orange fleece with white fur and long diem skirt and a plain cream fleece shirt could be seen. Than a pair of matching light brown boots. Her hair was (y/h/l) that was (y/h/c) it was a nice style on her, she rocked it better than most woman, well some looked great with it but she owned it in his eyes. Butcher watched as she threw darts at he board all without having to pause for a brief moment. Each one seen out of instinct and well lots of practice.

One last dart glided through the air and hit the center of the dart bored. Chugging the rest of your margarita and took the darts down before heading to bartable. "Instead of a margarita make it something different, surprise me." You remark to the bartender.

"I'm surprised your not a drunk by now" he comments.

"Ferret, my dear good friend, alcohol doesn't affect me and we know this. Not like it could kill my liver either" you remark. Taking the cigarette that was on your ear off of it.

"Right, sort of unfair though. Anyway drink coming up!" He says turning away to make a mixture. You put the cigarette in your mouth and dig in your pocket for the lighter. Than bring it to the tip of the orange strip of it. With a click you attempt to light to which it doesn't after a few tries.

"Im 'arghab fi altadakhiyn ealaa 'ayi hal" you mutter to yourself tossing the lighter in your pocket.

"Need a light, love?" You suddenly hear than turned to see the guy from a couple of days ago, Butcher. What a coincidence, especially since you admitted to yourself you found the target attractive. Did he know who you were? Probably not, no one ever really knows. Taking the cigarette out you keep it tucked between your fingers out to him. He lites it to which you bring it to your lips.

Puffing out a small cloud of smoke soon enough. "Thanks" you remark to him. "I don't really smoke often so I forget to refuel my lighter," you say before placed in front of was your drink. A nice from what it smelt like an New Zealand beer before tasting it.

"No problem," he remarks back to you. "What was that you were speaking? I don't recognize it." He comments facing forward.

"Arabic" you answer. "My adoptive father speaks it, he taught me that." You comment taking in a bit of the cigarette before bellowing the smoke out.

"Really? Must be a swell guy."

"He is for a sassy old man." You remark back in a chuckle. To which Butcher also chuckles at also.

"Billy Butcher, and you are?" He inquires to you.

"Margot Robbie" you remark with a smirk. Than see his facial expression full of disbelief at that. A laugh escapes you, than stop "kidding. Its (Y/n)," you say with a shit eating grin on your face.

"Lovely name" he remarks.

"I suppose." You remark back him. "So" you pause than bit your lip a bit "come here often?" A laugh croaked out the man with an accent.

"Not really, waiting for someone." He remarks back to you.

"Oh?" You say already knowing the answer. With your other hand snaking away and reach near your knife hidden. "May ask whom?" You inquire to him. Attempting to hide your grin and remain serious.

"Some guy who shot me. Found intel that he'll be here any second" he says not paying attention to your expression. Biting your tongue, not too hard to keep a laugh from breaking out. "Wait I until I punch the cunt in the face for the damage he's caused."

He thinks your a man? Why does everyone think your a man? Is this considered sexist or just someone boldly assuming without considering? Did you look guy with a suit on? How the heck was this happening? You'd think they'd thought they'd remember some hot chick like yourself. Oh well, it's easier to deceive them this way. "He must've really made it on your shit list for you want to find him." You comment still trying to hide your smirk from emerging.

"The cunt shot me and ran off" he retorts back. Cunt? He really favored that word apparently, but hey, you've been called worst. "Coward, that's what he wants. And he missed! What a lousy shot. What a bad hitman." He remarks back to which that clicked for you. Immediately snaking your blade out you held it against his throat. Taking in a big sip from your drink finishing it before placing it back down.

Keeping a grip on your knife and put your cigarette in the near ashtray. "I never miss" you darkly comment. "I meant to shoot your arm. To left where purposely missed a major artery an your broken. Could've given you a fatal injury to where a surgeon would have to repair that bone of yours." You explained slyly with a dark glint your eyes. Yeah, this guy was cute but you wouldn't let him down talk you. From how close you were without realizing it, Billy could smell your shampoo and conditioner. Milk and honey scented it over took you entirely making you smell sweet. "By the way, I'm actually a mercenary. I only do a few hitman jobs" you say. Turning your gaze to him to where your eyes met. "But it's not my fault you ended up on my naughty list" you comment.

"I knew you were a girl" he says with a grin. "Rough childhood, love? Oh right, you answered it already. Orphans always have problems, huh? What did mommy and daddy go out for milk?" He says trying to set you off, which your sure is the last thing he wanted to experience.

"They dropped me off at a fire station after trying to leave me high and dry at an hospital. A firetruck almost ran me over, and a homeless man almost peed on me" you remark.

"(Y/n)" Ferret says giving you a look. "If your gonna fight this guy take it outside this time, please? You have that crazed look in your eye, it makes me nervous. Its like for me seeing a bull head to the China shop" he comments. Casually just standing there behind the bartable.

"It'll be fine" you remark back. "I'll be gentle" you reply.

"You talkative, huh? If only I could sow your pretty little mouth shut." He remarks to you that makes you chuckle.

"They've already tried that with someone liked me" before clicking your tongue "it didn't go well." You comment with a light shrug of your shoulders.

"Highly doubt that" he remarks. "It should of been a field for them!" He grins to you.

"Perhaps if you like a sucky movies" you sarcastically say. "The movie was awful" you remark. "Anway, I have way better things to do than sit here and argue with you, Butcher. Lovely accent though!" Before wiping out a fuzzy pair of cuffs. "Don't judge me either" before cuffing him to the bartable with his left wrist. Stepping back off of the bar stool and dropping a few dollar bills for Ferret. "Don't you look lovely with fuzzy leopard printed cuffs!" You grin highly amused at this. To meet the grumpy face of the English accented man.

"You fucking cunt" he growls at you.

"I know honey, I'm great. Catch you on the flip side Billy" you tapped his nose with your finger. "Your adorable by the way" with a cocky smirk overtaking your face. Before walking out with a howl of laughter as you leave the bar. Oh, Billy wanted payback, but at the same time he was sort found you interesting despite the chatterbox in you.

___

When Billy tracked you down once more his blood was pumping. Excitement was sort of in him as at the thought of catching you. Despite most of the other members of the Boys thinking it was over between you two, they didn't know about Billy's slight interest in you. Part of him denied it but found it utterly thrilling the dynamic between you two. Sort of like messing with a forest fire, it was hot and it'll spread but he wanted to fan the flames. Hughie was confused when he saw the sudden spark in Butcher, but didn't figure it out what could cause it. Billy was quick to leave without a second word when he came across something on his laptop.

Soon enough he was dashing out with his heart pumping wildly. Going to the location given he was surprised to end up at some random place. An apartment building? What could you possibly be doing here? He would've head in until he saw a guy fly out. There you were a tight leather orange outfit that outlined your curves. Your hair was pulled back in a ponytail and your mask was up resting on your head. In your hand was a pepperoni pizza with a lot of cheese on it. "You know Dick, ha I can never get over that nickname. Dick. Just so funny," you say almost taunting manner as you walk to the guy on the ground. "I've heard of stalkers before, but your something else. Kiddnapping some poor lady dog! You monster." You crouch in front of him still munching on the pizza. "All because she said no to getting in your car. Aww, what stupid things we do when were young" you grin. "Listen here bub, I'm not here to kill you, unless Kiu calls it. But what I will tell you, since she said no blasting your brains out, I'm gonna do one simple thing. Wanna know?" You inquire with a grin. Shaken the guy let's out a whimper at this side of you. You pull out a knife and direct it at his family jewels. "I will cut off your manhood if I had to, but since she was generous to you, I'll let you go." Moving the knife away the guy was about to run before directed it at his Adam apple. "But know this, if Kiu calls me again about a pest problem, I will not hold back next time. Got it?" You say to just than finish your pizza but still hold a threatening manner in your eyes. The guy nods before you stand up. "Scram, before I change my mind. And give the dog back!" Quickly seeing the guy sprint to car and drive away fast.

Pulling the mask back on you dust your glove off and begin to walk away. Billy was surprised by this, your a mercenary but not only that a person with a heart. From what it hes just seen you protected a young woman from a crazed stalker apparently. Did you do these things often? He shook his head at it though. Now was the time to get you. You weren't paying attention until you were tackled to the ground.

About to fight the person off your wrist were grabbed and slammed to the ground. Than met the cocky grin of Billy fucking Butcher. "Hello love" he remarks back.

Smirking you held back a giggle but if peeked out a bit. "Man, this sucks. I usually prefer being on top," you say with a cocky grin. Billy was quick to grab you by the throat and slam you against the wall. "Kinky." You comment with a shit eating grin. "Could you go a little harder, can't you daddy?" Fake moaning at this predicament you've ended up in.

"For such a pretty face you have its hard not want to punch your fucking lights out" he remarks back to you.

"Trust me, pretty sure you'd love to see my lights get brighter" you remark back.

"In your dreams" he remarks back. "How much did Vought pay you for your hit? Did they know you missed my head?" He inquires to you.

"They paid me a million. All for you to mind your own dang business" you remark back. Than noticed the rain gutter pipe. "Nothing more than that handsome" you grin at the idea entering your head.

"Really? That's it?" He says unimpressed.

"What did you expect from them? There trying to play nice. But hey, I didn't care at first about the job. Than they mentioned money, and well money a nice thing to have to pay bills, you know?" You say preparing legs. "Still glad I didn't have my bullets kiss your brain either, darling." With still a cocky grin wiped on your face. "I really appreciate this cat and mouse dynamic between us. It's sort too irresistible to resist, well like me."

"Really? I think someone like yourself more likely has a thing for being tied up." He says with a victorious grin at you as if he won. You bucked your hips which caught him off guard. Than you kneed him in the junk and punched him across the face. Your hair that was tied in a ponytail fell apart partly getting your face. Than you took a grappling hook and tied his hands to the rain gutter pipe out. Tying his hands to the back of his head to it enough to where he could sit at least. Laughing at this defeat you take his phone and snap a picture of him. "Hey! What do you think your doing?" He inquires to you. Than your quick to send it to recent contact which is marked as Hughie.

"And frankly, I think you have a thing for being tied up in particularly by me" you remark tossing the phone by his knee. Than kneel in front of him. "But who doesn't after all?" You shrugged before packing his cheek and turned on your heels and pull your mask on. "Can't wait until the next time you find me again!" You wave with the back of your hand. Laughing to yourself as you saw Deshpande pulling up in his car. "Hataa almarat alqauidmat, eazizi!" Billy couldn't believe he ended up in this situation again. To think he had you, but fell for your charm, but he couldn't help it, it was hypnotic. Like a drug, but he couldn't wait to chase you down again.

#the boys amazon #homelander #the boys #billy butcher #frenchie #mothers milk #the boys season 2 #black noir #billy butcher x reader #starlight x hughie #hughie campbell #x reader

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citrinekay · 3 years

Text

and I'd hate to fade alone

@bambikieren and I were talking about the pros and cons of S2 a few days ago, and we both agreed the richness of tension and relationship development between Bill and Holden would have been greatly improved by incorporating Holden's panic attacks. I said something along the lines of "their opposing personal traumas could have made them both feel as if they were alone in the investigation, their partnership from S1 abandoned." She suggested I write a fic about Holden calling Bill after a panic attack in Atlanta, so here it is:

A brief yet unsettling nightmare wakes Bill with a jolt. He was once again treading through the lightning dust to the basement of the house on Cimarron Court. It was pure daylight, full of warm sun. Then he reached the place where he’d witnessed the chalky shape of a cross laden with a toddler’s fragile form, but instead of a cleaned-out crime scene, he laid eyes on Brian hunched over a squirming figure.

Brian is a small kid - doesn’t look capable of anything violent; but behind Bill’s eyelids, he saw the worst possible version of what happened that day the boy died. His son - his own chosen child - smothering the life from the baby. In the dream, Brian looks up from the arduous task, his dark eyes gleaming with infernal impulse.

“Dad,” he says, calmly. “Is the fish dead yet?”

Bill is awake in the next instant, his heart thundering against his ribs and sweat itching in the creases of his armpits and down his back. His mouth is dry, tasting of the three beers he washed down before passing out on the couch.

It takes him a moment to convince himself it was a product of his mind encumbered by stress and fatigue and dread, and nothing more. When he gets his bearings again, he realizes that the clock on the wall isn’t indicating the afternoon but well past one o’clock in the morning. The only light Nancy had left on when she went to bed was the lamp beside the couch. The kitchen and dining area are draped in shadow, familiar fixtures undefined and murky and disconnected from his little pool of yellow light.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the couch, Bill sits up slowly with a groan, and scrubs his hands over his face. The next logical step is getting up from the couch to walk himself to bed where his weary heap of bones belong, but the lingering dread in the pit of his stomach keeps him chained in place.

He isn’t certain when coming home on the weekends from Atlanta began feeling like a second job, but the joylessness is inescapable. Facing Nancy with the noble reassurance that he’s trying to save the lives of children no longer seems feasible just like facing Holden with the lie that he’s dedicated enough to his family to be flying home every weekend for no other reason than to spend time with them had reached the end of it’s credibility.

Perhaps that’s why going back to Atlanta now seems like less work than coming home. In a few short months, his life had become a careful manipulation, a tight-rope walk of convincing everyone in Atlanta, Quantico, and here at home of a specific narrative. While in Atlanta, don’t mention Brian. While at home, don’t mention Atlanta. At Quantico, don’t mention either one. The drive to keep his stories straight burned exhaustion through him like a hot fuse. At least now he isn’t bold-faced lying to Holden.

Rousing himself from the couch, Bill grabs his cigarettes from the side table, and ambles into the darkness of the kitchen. He doesn’t bother to turn on a light as he finds the cupboard by memory, and fills a glass with water from the tap. He washes away the stale taste of beer, and when his throat is no longer aching, replaces it with the heat and nicotine of a cigarette.

Standing over the kitchen sink, he taps ashes down the drain, and studies the night sky beyond the window. Constellations emerge against a tapestry of black, unhindered by clouds. In the silence, despite Nancy and Brian sleeping only a few walls away, he feels utterly alone.

The shrill ring of the telephone jars him from his sinking malaise. He has little time to ponder just who the hell would be calling this late at night as he rushes to grab the receiver and stop it’s ringing from waking Nancy or Brian.

“Hello?”

Raspy, labored breathing rustles across the line, startling his defenses.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Bill …” Holden whispers, his voice low and trembling, nearly unrecognizable. “Don’t hang up.”

Instant worry seizes Bill’s chest, those hassled defenses migrating into protective alarm. “I’m not. Are you okay?”

He hears Holden swallow thickly.

“It’s so late. Did something happen?” Bill presses.

“I … No.” Holden’s hesitation shines dishonesty clearly through the affirmation.

“Then why are you calling me?”

Silence registers across the miles of phone line between them, but Bill can hear the slight hiccup in Holden’s breathing, the undercurrent of distress that he recognizes because he’s been feeling it bubbling up within his own chest for weeks.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s okay.”

Bill presses his eyes shut as the rushed reassurance rouses another bout of silence, this one rife with confusion.

“It is?” Holden asks, at last.

“Yeah, of course. Look, Holden, I know things have been … rocky between us lately, but I know you care about this case. I know it’s been hard on you.”

“And you,” Holden whispers, carefully.

Bill takes a drag of his cigarette, and steadily exhales smoke past pursed lips. The nicotine doesn’t have the calming affect he’s searching for. Despite his honesty last week, he and Holden haven’t spoken about what happened with Brian. Part of him knows they should, but as the prospect approaches now it twists the knot in his gut tighter.

“Yeah,” he mutters at length.

“If it makes you feel any better, you hid it incredibly well. I had no idea.”

“It doesn’t, but thanks.”

“Got any tips?” Holden asks, offering a hapless chuckle.

“What? For lying to everyone and pretending I’m fine?”

“Yes.”

“None that I’d wish on anyone … least of all a friend.”

Holden’s muted sigh is tremulous. “Are we still … friends?”

Bill adjusts his grip on the phone, and bends to brace his elbows against the edge of the counter. Staring down at the ashes dwindling into the sink, he tries to come up with a response that doesn’t make him the bad guy in this situation. His thoughts are nothing more than an empty roar, taken by exhaustion and panic.

“I want us to be. Is that good enough?” he asks.

“Yes,” Holden agrees, his tone perking up. “I can live with that.”

“Then I guess I should apologize for lying to you and pretending everything was fine.”

“Mhm.”

“So … I’m sorry.”

“Me too. If I’d known-”

“But you didn’t.”

“I could have been a better profiler. Instead, I’ve been completely wrapped up in my own shit. You know, I’ve never felt more alone than I do right now, surrounded by the dozens of people who are on this task force. God, I really miss those early days when it was just you and me on the road.”

Bill’s instinctive reply is, “why would you miss me?” But he bites it down because he misses Holden too, and maybe he’s still too burdened by pride to admit it.

“Those were the days,” he says, instead.

“We weren’t so alone then,” Holden sighs, then stifles a yawn.

“You sound tired. I should let you go.”

“No, it’s just … it’s the Valium sinking in.”

Bill chest flinches at the mention of medication, the insinuation it invites - that Holden’s first impulse after surviving a panic attack was to call him.

“Are you okay?” he asks once more.

“I guess I would be lying and pretending I’m fine if I said ‘yes.’”

“Probably.”

“It’s okay. You can ask me about it.”

Bill draws in a slow breath against buzzing nerves. This isn't them. They don’t ask each other personal questions or talk about it. Holden is floating out of reality on benzodiazepine and Bill is too morbidly curious about someone else’s pain rather than his own; but it’s late and they’re both loath to fade alone.

“Does it happen often?” Bill asks, softly.

“Hmm … yes. Not enough to impede me from doing my job, but more often than I’d like.”

“What triggers it?”

“Sometimes the obvious things - a bad dream, a bad thought, a crime scene, a smiling picture of a kid who I know is dead and died terribly. Sometimes nothing. It’s unpredictable - that’s in the nature of panic disorder.”

“But the Valium helps?”

“It does damage control.”

Bill nods, biting the inside of his cheek as he processes this information. What he’d said by the riverside lashes across the back of his mind, and it looks utterly cruel from this perspective.

“What does it feel like?” he asks, closing his eyes against the surroundings of the kitchen.

He waits with bated breath while Holden thinks. His lungs burn with anticipation as if to say “sell me your pain; let’s make a fair trade of it; you try on mine, I’ll try on yours.”

“It feels like … suffocating. Very slowly. My lungs hurt, my head hurts. I can’t think or breathe, and I feel very small and trapped and …”

“And what?”

“Helpless.”

“Sounds awful.”

“It is. Even if it only lasts a few minutes, I come out of it feeling like I ran a marathon. I’m exhausted for the rest of the day, but when I lay down, I can’t sleep. My mind races.”

“That’s why you called me?”

“Well, I couldn’t get up off the floor, but I could drag the telephone and the Valium off the nightstand,” Holden murmurs. “I wanted something to hold onto.”

Bill clenches his jaw as he imagines Holden lying on the hotel floor in his pajamas, his pallor white and clammy with sickness, his body trembling. He wants to say that if he were there now, he would leave his own room and come over, he’d pick Holden up off the floor. They could hold onto each other.

When he opens his eyes, however, he sees that he’s still standing in his dark kitchen, and the only warm body to hold onto within touching distance wants nothing to do with him right now.

“There isn’t much left,” he says with a grim chuckle. “For you to, you know … hold onto.”

“Because of what happened?” Holden asks, gingerly. “With Brian?”

Bill smothers his rising hackles. Holden opened the door by offering to talk about his panic attacks, but Bill had kicked it wide open by even asking the questions. Talking about Brian is quid pro quo. Now all that’s left is putting a price tag on his own pain.

“Ever since it happened, I’ve just been trying to hold everything together. Here at home, Quantico, down there in Atlanta. It’s like there isn’t enough of me to go around, and I keep cutting myself into smaller and smaller pieces, dividing them across the problems I need to control. You were right when you told me I was distracted, that I wasn’t there when I was there. Truth is, I can hardly focus on one thing. Every time I close my eyes or my thoughts wander just a little, it goes back there - to a baby dying, and my kid saying absolutely nothing about it to me or Nancy.”

Holden is quiet for a moment before breaching the invisible wall. “How did it happen?”

Bill inhales a steadying breath, and blinks against the sting at the corners of his eyes. “A group of them were playing in the park. They ended up over at the house Nancy is the realtor for. Things got out of hand. The older boys somehow suffocated the toddler. They put him in the basement of the house, but … they didn’t just leave him. They - well Brian - he-”

“What did he do?” Holden asks, his tone lacking condemnation but rather perking with twisted curiosity.

“There was some old flooring in the basement. They made it into a cross, laid the baby across it like … like he was Jesus, and he was going to somehow fucking rise from the dead. It was all Brian’s idea. It was …”

Holden’s breathing quickens against the line. “God, Bill-”

“How do I reconcile that? How do I fucking forgive him? It was weeks before they found him, Holden. Brian left a baby lying there for weeks, and said nothing. I mean what the hell is wrong with someone who does something like that?”

“Maybe he was scared-”

“No, he knows he can come to us. We’ve never mistreated him, hit him, yelled at him. Never once made him think he couldn’t talk to us.”

Holden falls quiet.

The silence over the line thickens, and pretense falls away. Bill can hear the normal reassurances splinter. Holden studies the mind, and he understands darkness. He can read Bill’s fears even from across the country - and he recognizes their validity.

“You think he didn’t feel anything?” Holden asks. “That he’s just like the subjects in our study.”

Bill’s throat chafes with mounting emotion. He hasn’t dared admit it to himself, but it is what he thinks. It haunts his every nightmare.

“Yes,” he whispers.

“Bill, we don’t know everything. Especially when it comes to children. Remember when we talked about intervention, and we wondered if somewhere along the line, something could have been done to stop these men from killing?”

“Yes.”

“This is the time to do something. Get him help. Nothing is written in stone.”

Bill rubs his eyes hard. “You really believe that?”

“Aren’t we beholden to at least try?”

Try. Yes, all he has done for the last few months is try, but that is the god-forsaken truth of the human condition. Trying, and trying, failing and trying. Learning one or two things along the way. It’s inescapable.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

“You’re welcome.”

They sit in silence for a long moment.

It feels better with some of the weight off Bill’s chest. He imagines it will be back in the morning. All the more reason not to hang up.

Holden yawns softly against the receiver, his rustling breath prickling down Bill’s spine. He presses the phone closer to his ear, and waits for the indolent moan at the end. When it comes, low and throaty, it doesn’t last nearly long enough.

“Tired?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Wanna go to bed?”

“No. Do you?”

“No. We can keep talking.”

“Okay. About what?”

“Something else,” Bill suggests, angling for a lighter tone. “Something not so fucking depressing.”

“Okay. Here’s something.” Holden’s voice takes on an impish tone. “A few weeks ago, I threw your betting sheets out the window of the car.”

“What?” Bill asks, a choked laugh fighting its way past the calcified emotion in his chest. “I wondered where those went.”

“You weren’t talking to me then. Christ, that makes me sound bitchy doesn’t it?”

“Yep. It does.”

“Fine. But since when do you bet on ponies?”

Bill bites his lower lip. This conversation isn’t heavy enough for honesty, at least not yet. It isn’t important for the truth that he hadn’t been interested in racing until Ted Gunn plopped the analogy in his brain right next to the trigger points that are Holden.

“Not long,” he says. “Just something to distract myself. Mindless entertainment.”

“With a price tag.”

“Everything has a price tag. It’s just a matter of scale.”

“What’s the price tag on this conversation?”

“Nothing. It’s an even trade.”

Holden hums something indistinct.

“What?” Bill asks. “You want me to take something from you?”

“Or I could take something from you.”

“You already took my betting sheets.”

Holden laughs, softly. “I did. Okay, what do you want?”

Bill’s levity disappears into a panicked, heady ether. Before Atlanta, he’d often wished for Holden to say those exact words for him; then his world came crashing down, and those wayward thoughts were available to blame for his own lack of dedication to his family. Holden was an easy target for a rage he doesn’t have the will to hold onto anymore.

“I want you to take care of yourself,” Bill says, finally. “Get some rest.”

Holden sighs, unhappily. “It is almost two o’clock.”

“Exactly. I’ll be back tomorrow. We can talk then if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, as long as we can both keep our eyes open. This surveillance is killing me.”

“Don’t worry. We’re going to get him. If not tomorrow, then the next night.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Well …. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Bill.”

They linger a moment longer before muttering further goodbyes. When the phone hits the cradle, a deep and abiding silence replaces the hiss of static across the line and the warm cadence of Holden’s voice. Outside the window, the stars are the same even as time marches forward, dragging him towards an inevitable precipice. It’s some small comfort that he won’t be making that fall into the abyss alone.

#bill x holden #mindhunter #my writing

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years

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Won’t You Stay (Part 18)

Summary: Two weeks after the movie’s debut, things are going great and the reader is gearing up to start work on the second one soon. Everything should be perfect for her and Jensen but when Logan comes back in the picture, things go bad quickly...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x Director!reader

Word Count: 3,000ish

Warnings: language, fighting, rumors

A/N: Please enjoy!

_____

Two Weeks Later

“Jensen,” you said, walking into the family room to find him laying on the couch with a book. “What are you up to?”

“Reading?” you asked.

“I meant the code red text from my dad on your phone?” you said, holding it up. His face dropped and he hopped up, stealing the phone away from you. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no, pft, nothing’s wrong. Why would you think something’s wrong?” he said. You stared at him and he looked away. You grabbed his chin and turned him back towards you. He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t dig into this. Or worry. Please. Trust me.”

“Alright,” you said. “I have a casting meeting for The Dark Night to run to quick but after-“

“I’m sure you could skip,” said Jensen. You narrowed your eyes and he swallowed.

“Um, no. I can’t considering I’m the director,” you said. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing,” he said.

“Well stop being so weird,” you said as you grabbed your bag off the front table.

“Alright,” he said, closing his eyes. “I will tell you if you don’t go.”

“I’m not that interested now,” you said, pulling on a pair of sneakers. He jogged over to the front door and stood in front of it. “Are you serious? Move.”

“Promise you won’t go.”

“Jensen-“

“Promise,” he said.

“I have work and you need to move,” you said, trying to reach behind him.

“Logan,” he said. You scrunched up your face and he threw his head back. “Code red means Logan is doing something.”

“He’s auditioning for the movie,” you said. Jensen stared at you and you raised an eyebrow. “I appreciate your and my father’s concern but I’m fine. I’m not planning on hiring him. I have to go through the motions is all.”

“Let me come with you then.”

“This is not a chemistry read. It is closed and I will be with a lot of other people,” you said.

“I don’t want you to go there without me,” he said. You dropped your hand back from the door handle and crossed your arms.

“Are you asking or are you telling?” you said.

“Y/N. What are you talking about?”

“Are you asking me not to go or are you telling me you won’t let me go without you?” you asked. He stared at you and you nodded. “It’s a simple question.”

“Y/N-“

“There’s a fine line between overprotective boyfriend and something else. Don’t cross it,” you said. He walked past you and bumped your arm as he went back to the couch. “Very mature.”

“Don’t imply I would ever be like him again,” he said slowly.

“Then don’t act like it,” you said, grabbing your jacket and leaving quickly.

“You look pissed,” said Logan an hour later. You glared as you spun around from the vending machine, gripping your protein bar tight. “I suck in there?”

“You’re not getting the part,” you said.

“I figured. Mostly trying to put my face out there at the moment,” he said.

“We’re not friends,” you said as you started to walk away.

“Yeah. I know. Just maybe things weren’t quite as bad as you think they were,” he said.

“You mean you being a controlling dick? Or the time you shoved me against the wall? Or maybe the time you decided to have sex whether I wanted it or not? Was that the not so bad part?” you said.

“We fought a lot,” he said. “I’ll admit that. But I never hurt you. I never forced myself on you. You got that all kinds of backwards. I certainly never controlled you.”

“Oh really? Must be nice living in your fantasy world,” you said.

“It’s the truth and truth is, that little boy toy you got now? He won’t be the sweet boy next door you think he is forever,” said Logan.

“Is that so,” you said.

“Actually yeah. Talk to his old girlfriend,” he said.

“She’s a piece of work herself,” you said.

“Talk to the one before that too. Nicole Opner. See what she has to say,” he said.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing-“

“Not playing any games. I don’t want you back, no offense. Just trying to do you a favor,” he said. You scowled, going back to the conference room.

“You alright?” asked Mark.

“Peachy.”

“Hey,” you said, taking a seat in the coffee shop that afternoon. Nicole gave you a short smile. “Thanks for agreeing to meet last second.”

“When Y/N Y/L/N calls your agent and asks to meet, you do it,” she said. “Is this about Oak Street? I heard it was still in pre-production.”

“It is. I’m not even directing that one. Um this is about something personal,” you said.

“Oh. Jensen,” she said.

“Yeah. Someone told me something and that I should talk to you,” you said.

“About,” she said quietly.

“The kind of person he is,” you said. She stared past you and sighed.

“He’s not what he seems,” she said. “I found that out too late.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“It means it goes great for a year and then he pulls the being an overprotective boyfriend thing and then it becomes overprotective of everything and then he’s not so nice when he doesn’t get his way,” she said.

“Why on earth would I believe that?”

“You don’t have to. I didn’t ask to meet. Just know there are better guys out there,” she said.

“Mhm,” you said.

“Listen, leave before it gets there,” she said.

“Sure thing,” you said, Nicole rolling her eyes. “I’m sorry but I don’t believe you.”

“No one ever believes us, do they,” she said, grabbing her bag and storming out. You pursed your lips and took a deep breath.

“Why did I even bother?”

“Jensen, I’m home,” you said, bringing in a few bags of groceries. He was quiet on the couch as you put them away. “What’s with the face grumpy pants?”

“I heard you talked with Nicole today,” he said, shooting you a dirty look.

“Wow.”

“Why are you talking to my ex-girlfriend?” he said.

“She was interested in a movie and I had a few questions for her,” you said.

“So the day you go and talk to Logan is the same day you suddenly decided to talk to one of my ex’s for the first time?” he said.

“Sorry we don’t all go through a girlfriend a year like some people,” you said.

“What are you up to? Two boyfriends ever?” he said, cocking his head.

“Thanks a lot for being a dick, Jens.”

“Right back at ya. What’d Logan say that made you run off to her, hm?”

“Not in the mood to share,” you said.

He smiled and glanced down at the floor, crossing his arms.

“This? This is exactly why I didn’t want him near you again. He fucks with your head,” said Jensen.

“I didn’t realize I was so vulnerable and easily manipulated,” you said.

“Do not twist my words.”

“I am a grown woman. I can go wherever I want to alone,” you said.

“He’s a piece of shit who is trying to cause problems,” he said. “You’re successful and happy now. Of course he wants to stir up crap to bring you down. He wants to keep controlling you. That is what people like him do.”

“What about people like Nicole?”

“What about Nicole?”

“What would she benefit? I don’t even know her,” you said.

“She looks out for herself. She’s a petty person. She’s…” he trailed off, staring at you. “What did she say?”

“You and Logan might have some things in common.”

He scoffed and you shrugged.

“You can’t believe her! Y/N, I would do anything for you. I would die for you,” he said.

“Because that’s not being manipulative at all,” you mumbled under your breath.

“Y/N-“

“I talked to Erica too,” you said, the color draining from his face. “She said you gave her diet pills, not the other way around.”

“I see. So you want to believe your abusive ex, my abusive ex and my crappy ex over me,” he said.

“I did not say that.”

“Actually, you did,” he said, storming into the bedroom and slamming the door shut. You tried to open it but got nowhere, the thing flying open two minutes later, a backpack on his shoulders.

“Where are you going?” you said as he went for the front door.

“Home,” he said.

“This is your home,” you said.

“Is it because I’m a guy?” he asked, spinning around. “All three of them are fucking actors in case you forgot. Guess who all three hate? Us. The past two weeks we’ve been all over the news with how successful we are now. You write stories for a living. Put the fucking pieces together, genius.”

“You need to calm down.”

“No. I don’t. I’m going home. I’m not staying in a place like that again. Get rid of the rest of my crap. I don’t care. Just stay away from me,” he said.

“Jensen-“

“You have no proof of what Logan did but I believe you. I still believe you. Why the fuck did you suddenly stop believing me?” he said. “Oh, yeah. Him. Some girls that hurt me. But you take their word over mine. Congratulations. You may be the worst one out of all of them.”

“Jens-“

“Write that in one of your stories. Find a new Lyle Sullivan while you’re at it. I’m done.”

He left before you could say another word.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” teased Anthony when you got over to your parents house late that night. You glanced up at him, eyes red and puffy, his smile wiping away. “What’s wrong?”

“I want mom and dad,” you said quietly, voice raw and scratchy.

“Mom’s away for her conference thing again,” said Anthony, grabbing your hand and pulling you upstairs. You shut your eyes and let him drag you over to your parents room, your dad and Ella hanging out and watching a movie together.

“Hey, we didn’t know you were stopping…” he trailed off when he saw your face.

“Jensen and I had a fight. I think we broke up,” you whispered.

“Out you two,” said your dad. You heard him shut the door after they left and he pulled you over to take a seat on the bed. “What happened? He’s so in love with you it’s not even funny.”

“Not anymore.”

“Did it go bad? Did you say no?” he asked.

“No?”

“The proposal. Did you say no and he wanted to break up because of that?” he asked. You stared at him and felt your stomach churn.

“He was going to propose,” you said to yourself. “He asked you because he was going to propose. Oh god. He was going to propose to me.”

“I’m guessing I just said something I really shouldn’t have,” he said as you scrunched up your face. “Sweetie.”

“I fucked up. I fucked it all up,” you said, arms wrapping around you.

“I’m sure whatever happened you can work through it,” he said.

“No, I can’t. We can’t. He’ll never trust me again and I don’t blame him,” you said.

“Tell me what happened,” he said.

You reiterated your day and most of your fight, your dad silent the whole time. He didn’t say anything after that either. You turned your head away and sighed.

“Do you hate me too?” you asked.

“No, I never hate you,” he said, resting his chin on your shoulder. “You both screwed up. It’s what happens when you don’t talk. He got too overprotective and you got manipulated again.”

“Why would those girls lie to my face?”

“Because he’s handsome and wealthy and has connections now. If they can’t have him now and those things, they want to hurt him. Same reasons Logan wants to hurt you. Don’t let those little shits win,” he said.

“I went and talked to them. I never should have,” you said. “I trust Jensen completely.”

“Because Logan manipulated your good nature. Did you ever doubt Jensen?”

“No. But he thinks I did and I can’t prove him wrong.”

“Love isn’t about proof. It’s trust. Go tell him you still trust him,” he said.

“I can’t. He left. He never wants to see me again,” you said.

“What he wants is you to go find him and tell him every bad thought swimming around in his head isn’t true, that you and him are still in this together,” he said.

“No he doesn’t.”

“You can either stay here and cry and spend the rest of your life not knowing or you can go find out,” he said.

“I’m just gonna hurt him even more than I did,” you sniffled.

“It’s your choice of what to do,” he said, rubbing a hand up and down your back.

“Can I stay here tonight?”

“Mhm.”

“I wish today never happened.”

“Me too, kiddo. Me too.”

You nodded and he walked you to your old room, heading downstairs to make you some tea. You sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor, the floor creaking when you dad stepped in and set the mug down on the nightstand.

“You want me to stay?” he asked, taking a seat beside you. You lifted your head up, catching sight of the chair in the corner, a hat in it. You stood and walked over, picking the hat up. It was the one that was a gift when the movie wrapped. It was Jensen’s, the name Ackles sewn into the back strap. You swallowed and ran your fingers over it. You’d been looking for it for a week. You knew he liked it when you wore his hats or shirts but he’d been particularly giddy whenever you wore that one lately.

He was probably laughing to himself that someday it’d be your name too.

“Sweetie?” asked your dad. You wiped off your face one last time and put the hat on, spinning back around.

“Can you call the studio booking guy? I need to get to Dallas as soon as possible,” you said. Your dad gave you a small smile and nodded.

“Wash your face. Let me make a few calls quick,” he said. You nodded and went into the bathroom, scrubbing the dried tear streaks off your cheeks. You looked decent enough after five minutes, exiting the bedroom to hear your dad humming. “Thanks Malcolm.”

He hung up and you lifted your chin, your dad nodding.

“You have a flight leaving at three am from LAX to Phoenix and then a layover from Phoenix to Dallas. You’ll get in around eleven,” he said. “Your boarding pass info is in your email.”

“It’s after midnight already. I should head to the airport,” you said. You started to walk out before you paused and looked over your shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Y/N. Go get him,” he said.

“When he asked, you must have said yes,” you said. He stared at you and looked past you. “Dad.”

“I’m not saying that whatever you’re walking into in Dallas will be easy. I can guarantee it won’t be. But you and him...you two are idiots for each other. You’re too hurt right now to see it but he will always love you and you’re always going to love him. It might hurt even more when you get down there. Don’t let it scare you though.”

“Why’d you say yes?” you asked.

“Because I haven’t seen you smile like the way you do around him since you were a little girl. He brings out the best part of you and you like that he does that,” he said.

“What if I can’t get him back?”

“Then he wasn’t the one.”

“What if he is though?”

“Then you’ll get him back,” he smiled.

“How do you know that?”

“Your fight wasn’t out of hate or spite or moving on from one another. It was his fear for you and your concern for him. That’s love, sweetie. You two need to get better at saying it out loud is all,” he said.

“I don’t want to come back here alone,” you said, closing your eyes to stop yourself from getting upset again.

“Make sure he knows that,” he said. You nodded and felt arms wrap around you, getting lost in a warm hug for a moment. “Go get your flight, sweetie.”

“I’ll let you know when I land,” you said, taking a deep breath before you were heading for the door.

_____

A/N: Read Part 19 here!

#supernatural #spn #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #supernatural series #supernatural reader insert #jensen ackles x reader #spn reader insert #jensen reader insert #jensen x #jensen ackles x you

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calamity-bean · 4 years

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16 new horror films i’ve watched at random lately just cause i’ve been in the mood for horror

Been thinking about horror today, and fun fact, I’ve actually been fairly DEVOURING horror films of late! Sixteen new ones in the past couple weeks, in fact, according to the little list I’ve been keeping! New to me, that is, though they do all happen to be very recent releases (2016 at earliest). Horror is a genre with which I often like to pull up Netflix or Hulu and just pick at random some film I’ve never heard of and don’t know the first thing about; I feel like it’s a genre that depends so much on personal taste and that encompasses such a wide variety of tropes and approaches that I never entirely know whether I’ll like a particular film until I try it. It’s a gamble, sure, and sometimes it’s a dull or infuriating couple hours... But I love horror in general, and I feel like it’s a genre in which even terrible films often stir my imagination with the potential of their premise if not the brilliance of their execution. And you do find those hidden gems.

Anyway, since I love to hear myself talk, I thought I’d share my quick impressions of the ones I’ve watched lately, in case any of you are also in the mood to stream something new! These are (almost) all currently on Netflix or Hulu, so have at it. No specific spoilers; mostly just whether I liked it or not and why. I added a few content warnings where I remembered any elements that, to me, went beyond genre-standard levels of content or involved specific common triggers, but, I mean, they’re all horror films, so do your due diligence if necessary and do expect some level of violent or disturbing content in all of them.

The sixteen films in question are: Sweetheart (2019); The Lodge (2019); Mercy Black (2019); What Keeps You Alive (2018); Cold Skin (2017); The Golem (2018); Rattlesnake (2019); We Summon the Darkness (2019); The Wretched (2019); They Come Knocking (2019); Pyewacket (2017); The Other Lamb (2019); The Silence (2019); Body at Brighton Rock (2019); Under the Shadow (2016); and Seven in Heaven (2018).

Brief descriptions and impressions and such under the cut!

Sweetheart: Survival/monster horror about a young woman who, after the boat she and her friends were on goes down in a storm, washes up alone on an uninhabited island… and then realizes she’s not entirely alone. Quite liked this one! Like almost any horror movie, it suffers from the fact that monsters are almost ALWAYS far scarier (and far less cheesy) before you actually see their CGI rendering chasing the protag, but that’s typical, we’re used to that. The protagonist is smart and capable, and the actress (Kiersey Clemons) has to carry so much of the film solo and often with very sparse dialogue. Warning for mutilated and decomposing corpses.

The Lodge: A woman who as a child was the only survivor of a cult winds up stranded with her new fiance’s two children in a remote, snowbound lodge. This one was pretty dark! I love themes of cold, isolation, and losing connection with reality, and I think the whole cast does a great job; the acting and production are overall high quality. Not sure it captured my imagination enough for a rewatch, but I did enjoy watching it. My fellow Barkskins fans will notice a few glimpses of our own Renardette. Warnings for onscreen suicide, pet death, and psychiatric/medical manipulation.

Mercy Black: A young woman returns home fifteen years after, in her childhood, being involved in a disturbing act of violence inspired by an urban legend called Mercy Black. I like the concept behind this one, in terms of the urban legend, the protagonist’s relationship with it; I liked the overall film okay, but I found certain aspects a bit cliche or thinly sketched. Standard supernatural horror levels of violence and spookiness, imo.

What Keeps You Alive: For their one-year anniversary, a young couple vacation to a remote house in the woods, where the protagonist begins to learn some strange things about her wife. I really enjoyed this one. It might be my favorite on this list, and certainly one of the ones I’m more likely to watch again. It’s well structured, well made, with a strong, compact cast, and it’s gotten the song “Bloodlet” stuck in my head for weeks. However, you will probably not enjoy this one if, as I know is the case for some people, you would rather not consume content that depicts LGBT relationships that are unhealthy or LGBT characters who are villainous. I get where you’re coming from, but it means this one probably isn’t for you. It also isn’t for you if you would rather not see some quite brutal injuries.

Cold Skin: Okay, this is the only one that wasn’t actually on streaming, I checked this out from my local library. Set in 1914, a young man takes a post as a meteorologist on a remote island in the South Atlantic, inhabited only by the unfriendly lighthouse keeper… and the creatures that crawl onto shore at night. Gosh… How do I feel about this one? There are aspects that are cheesy, effects that don’t entirely hold up. But I liked it. I like the idea of it, and I like the themes of isolation and connection, and I like the protagonist and overall I think it’s a solid and interesting narrative. Sort of… The Terror meets Lovecraft. Warning for offscreen (but audible, and almost visible) sexual assault.

The Golem: Set in the late 17th century in a rural Lithuanian shtetl, a woman creates a golem to protect her community from the threats of Christians who blame her people for the plague. Thematically, this one centers largely around motherhood, which I think makes sense with how it’s done here, and I always like the supernatural elements of a horror film to have a very strong, personal thematic link with the protagonist’s emotional character arc. Stars Maman Brigitte from American Gods! Warning for mentions of miscarriage and themes of child death.

Rattlesnake: After a mishap on a remote highway, a woman unknowingly makes a deal with the devil in order to save her young daughter’s life. I liked this one as well; I found the protagonist enjoyable, the overall concept straightforward but engaging, and the hot, arid, rural setting — I think it’s supposed to be around Palo Duro? — an effective backdrop. Not spooky-scary, but nice tension throughout.

We Summon the Darkness: Set in the 80s, three girls travel to a heavy metal concert despite the string of recent killings apparently committed by a Satanic cult. This one is basically a slasher flick — with a twist, yeah, but essentially the slasher model of teens plus extensive violence — and I think it’s a pretty decent one. And I liked the hair and costumes, ahaha.

The Wretched: A teenage boy becomes convinced that his new neighbor has been possessed by something evil. I like the narrative and the characters in this one okay, but where I really have to give it props is in the overall visual presentation of the supernatural threats; it’s able to lean into uncanniness and human body horror that work well on film rather than presenting a creature created wholecloth (which, as I mentioned earlier, often doesn’t work super well).

They Come Knocking: On a drive into the middle of nowhere, a father and his two daughters hear something knocking on their caravan at night, asking to be let in. Okay, so… this one is a black-eyed children story (with a setup reminiscent of ye olde Anansi’s Goatman, too, in a way), and I have to admit that black-eyed children are one of those tropes that doesn’t work for me even as a creepypasta, it just strikes me as lame and dumb. And I did find the actual children in this film to be, well, cheesy and dumb-looking. But the human side of the narrative — the characters and their relationships and emotional aspects — is actually pretty well done! So I found it engaging enough in that regard.

Pyewacket: A teenage girl who has a difficult relationship with her mother lashes out by trying to summon a demon to kill her, only to regret the ritual right away. I think this one was well done, too, pretty dark, with a spooky forest setting and some genuinely creepy glimpses of the supernatural threat. I am also delighted to discover that Pyewacket is actually the name of a familiar spirit according to the confession of an accused witch in the 17th century. (Not delighted by the fact that this poor 17th century woman was tortured for being an alleged witch, but delighted that there’s a little historical inspo here.) Warning for a fairly graphic death by burning.

The Other Lamb: This one is not horror as in “scary” but horror as in thematically disturbing and a little eerie. A young girl who’s been raised in a cult — all female except for their leader, to whom all the members are either wives or daughters — begins to question her faith. Slow, quiet, and a bit surreal, with some slightly feral-woman themes that are up my alley; I think I enjoyed it? The cast is quite good, especially the protagonist (Raffey Cassidy) and cult leader (Michiel Huisman with, I gotta say, some truly lovely hair). Warning for onscreen but nongraphic (as in, clothed and not showing anything below the neck) sexual assault of a minor.

The Silence: A deaf teenager and her family struggle to survive amidst an apocalypse of deadly monsters that attack based on sound. No, I’m not talking about A Quiet Place. I do feel a bit sorry for this film, because I know that it was conceived of and began production well before A Quiet Place came out, only to essentially be doomed by its striking similarity to such a successful film… And honestly, it’s not as good as A Quiet Place; it’s cheesier, there are more plot and character holes, the ultimate main threat feels disconnected from the premise, and the core theme/character arcs aren’t as cohesive. But it’s not TERRIBLE. It’s more of a B-movie-esque monster/disaster flick, is all. And I like Stanley Tucci, so at least he’s always fun to watch.

Body at Brighton Rock: An inexperienced parks employee gets lost in the backcountry and has to spend the night watching over a (possibly murdered) body she stumbles across while awaiting rescue. This one… hm. It’s like, I didn’t hate it? But it was frustrating. It reused the same scares / fake-outs multiple times, and even by horror movie standards the protagonist was maddeningly careless. I think it was all the more disappointing because I do like the setting and premise but felt it could’ve been better.

Under the Shadow: In 1980s Tehran, during the air raids and missile strikes of the War of the Cities, a woman begins to fear something evil is stalking her young daughter through their emptying apartment building. This is another top fave, and I think overall the most well constructed film on this list in an objective sense. Strong narrative, strong characters and acting, a really great atmosphere of claustrophobia and tension and dread, and an interesting and effective setting. Would absolutely watch again.

Seven in Heaven: At a house party, two teenagers enter a closet as part of a kissing game, and they exit into a parallel universe that is similar but different in striking ways. This one was, hm… okay? I felt like it could’ve gone so much farther with the potential of alternate universes, in terms of really making them weird and interesting, and although I don’t expect a film to spell out everything for me, I just thought that the whole underlying mechanism of what was happening was left too unexplained. Also, the background characters looked like they were played by actual high school-age teens while the main characters looked like your standard Hollywood 20-something “teens,” which created kind of a weird dissonance lmao. But it was okay.

Overall, I didn’t HAAATE any of these; most were fine, some I found less engaging or more frustrating than others, and some I really enjoyed. I did start and then not finish a few more as well... I watched about 20 minutes of Black Rock (2012) before deciding I wasn’t in the mood for where it was going, and I just barely started We Are What We Are (2010) but realized I was too tired and distracted by other things to pay enough attention to subtitles at the moment. On a not strictly horror note, but it’s still thriller so we’ll toss it in, I got a ways into The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017) because that’s a helluva title and I wanted to see Barry Keoghan’s work outside Dunkirk (the only film I’d seen him in), but man, that’s a weird one huh, very slow, very odd style of dialogue. I’ll still likely finish some or all of those at some point, but I just wasn’t in the right headspace when I first tried.

Anyway, this has been me telling you what movies I’ve been watching! I’m sure you’re enthralled. And please always feel free to talk horror movies to me or send me recs!

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lady-plantagenet · 3 years

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What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them.

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing.

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages.

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’.

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #lady plantagenet's series reviews #catherine of aragon #henry viii #mary tudor queen of france #margaret tudor #charles brandon #margaret pole

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angelic-mp4 · 4 years

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EPISODE 14 Theory:

So, I did kinda come up with a theory on what would happen in the next episode of Inanimate Insanity II, so just bear with me for a few moments, since this will be a very long read.

RECAP ON EP. 13:

During Episode 13 (”Mine Your Own Business”), the challenge that the contestants were chosen to do was to mine diamond-shaped gems known as “Gemories” inside Gemory Cave, in which those gems start to reveal several hints about MePhone4′s backstory and the dark origins of the whole show.

About Gemories, the word itself is a combination of “gem” and “memory”, as MePhone4 wanted to expel all of his remaining memories of Cobs before Inanimate Insanity began. The emoji “💠” has been hinted at through the social media used by the Inanimate Insanity crew, which also appears to be the exact shape that these Gemories take.

For each of the final six contestants, a selected Gemory will show a certain flashback. Those follow as:

Test Tube - The creation of MePhone4 and the installation of his screen protector, in which he eventually removed in rebellion against Steve Cobs, his creator

Knife - MePhone4′s growing interest in creating his own reality survival show, in which Cobs claims as “trash”

Lightbulb - MePhone4 completing one of his tasks, in which he had to generate a tree; Steve Cobs expected a spaceship to be generated from him by the end of that day

Microphone - Not specified in the actual episode, but could have been when Adam was created and was immediately discarded

Baseball - MePhone4 trying to interact with Cobs, but was yelled at in the process, due to Cobs being in a meeting for the possible creation of MePhone4S (”I’ve always liked that red.”)

Suitcase - MePhone4 meeting a broken MePhone3GS inside a dark, shallow room, which was the exact same room that Adam was thrown away due to his malfunctioning problems

As shown, when these six Gemories were connected, they formed a similar silhouette of Cobs, in which the seventh Gemory would had possibly been placed in.

The seventh Gemory depicted MePhone4′s escape from Cobs and Meeple Headquarters, along with saving MePad and taking off his screen protector so that he would be free from his creator.

The connection of the seventh Gemory to MePad would eventually lead up to the events of Episode 14.

FIRST-HAND CLUES ON EPISODE 14:

The first clues to what Episode 14 will be about can be seen in the short teaser that was uploaded on the 9th anniversary of the show.

In this sneak peek, at the very end, shows a sequences of a transforming object, shifting from the Meeple logo, to what looks like a silhouette of the InvisiBows that Taco and Microphone wore during the events of Episode 13.

The Meeple logo symbolizes Meeple as a whole. This means that Meeple and its origins and uprisings would be brought up during the events of Episode 14, and could reveal what really happened to Meeple products such as MePhone4 and MePad.

The other symbol, however, is much more mysterious-looking than the other. Some people believed that Bow would be coming back, and others may see it as Taco secretly working for Cobs to take down MePhone4, but we would get back into that later. For me, I do see it as a symbol that may have been hinted at through the InvisiBows worn by Taco and Microphone.

This symbol can especially be seen on the white InvisiBow that Microphone can be seen wearing throughout Episode 13. This means that Taco would eventually betray Microphone, and could possibly get caught red-handed being a spy for Cobs.

Now, there are many more clues and hints on what will happen during Episode 14. Take this picture from the InanimateTweet Twitter account during Easter 2020.

This could mean that Cobs will play a bigger role in this episode, rather than being in multiple flashbacks like in Episode 13. This also hints Fan surprisingly returning, as you can his silhouette in the picture, along with Cobs and Test Tube. But the most important aspect of this picture is the egg being in the center.

Many believe that the egg will hatch in Episode 14, as it had already started to crack last episode. The sneak peek also shows the egg in the same position as it was in this picture.

The thing that could be inside of the egg is still pretty much unknown, but with it coming from Mars (throwback to “Marsh on Mars”) and it catching Cobs’ unwanted attention and his desire to take the egg from the contestants (another throwback to “Theft and Battery”), the egg will possibly play a huge role in Episode 14, both causing twists and turns in the events, and either developing or destroying relationships between other contestants.

HOW WILL THE EGG AFFECT EPISODE 14?:

This is what the biggest question is, regarding Episode 14. The egg has been a huge part of the series, appearing in almost every episode, alongside with contestants such as Fan and Test Tube, and it was also at risks at certain times. This time though, the egg is starting to hatch, and this comes with several clues on Episode 14.

The egg will possibly play a role in MePhone4 and Cobs’ trauma arc, meaning that it will determine several events to take place, and it is especially evident in the most recent sneak peek released a month ago.

In the sneak peek, we can see MePhone4 venting about his problems with Cobs to his assistant MePad, while also generating the painting created by Paintbrush a few episodes ago. As he continues to reveal that the show was never his in the first place, due to the manipulation tactics done by Cobs, here we see Taco and Microphone in the same setting as MePhone4 and MePad.

However, this is interrupted when a static wave ends up affecting MePhone4, resulting in the generation of what looks like a living room set.

The static wave actually hints to the egg that will be hatching this episode. This is because the sound that accompanies the wave of energy was placed in the same state that the egg was seen in the other sneak peek.

However, it had only seemed to affect MePhone4, but not MePad. It may be because MePhones usually have a generator-option set up in their systems, but nevertheless a MePad would end up getting one anyways.

The living room set that was generated as a result of the wave seems suspicious at best.

This specific living room set may reveal the actual origins of Inanimate Insanity, if not, the whole reason why the show was even created in the first place. It also seems that Cobs might be the one that is pulling the strings on the hosts and the contestants, like marionettes and string puppets.

Those origins may possible change the views of the contestants’ visions of the actual show, and may even scar them for life. The egg may also become a big-time factor on the change of the point of views of each of the final six contestants.

WHAT ABOUT THE CONTESTANTS THEMSELVES?:

Some of the sneak peeks that have been revealed over the last few months also reveal clues about the contestants themselves and their motives for the show.

Over the general group, it will seem that the final six contestants will try to reform their original groups; the Grand Slams and the Bright Lights. Since there are four Grand Slams members and two Bright Lights members remaining in the game, this might seem the case, as shown in the picture above.

All contestants, except for Lightbulb have been mentioned or shown, either visually or audio-wise, like in the audio sneak peek with Baseball, Suitcase and Test Tube.

However, with all sneak peeks combined, it is possible that one of those contestants will play a much bigger role than the others, and it would have been Suitcase herself that gets the role.

Taking a look at this sneak peek of what looks like a storyboard, this may reveal either another hallucination, a flashback, or a sudden vision that Suitcase encounters in this episode. This indicates that Suitcase might be in danger, shown by the vision.

CONCLUSION:

So, this is all I really have for now, but with the trailer just coming out, more clues have popped up, including Test Tube going berserk this episode, MePhone’s eventual plan, and if the egg was the cause of the chaos that happens in this episode. Sorry if this theory seems rushed.

We’ll have to wait a week until the full episode is out.

#inanimate insanity #possible ii ep 14 spoilers #ii ep 14 spoilers #ii ep 14 theory #ii ep. 14 trailer #ep 14 sneak peek #episode 14 #ep 14 theory #my thoughts

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garbagegrimoire · 3 years

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#31daysofhorror day 15, We Summon The Darkness

I started out with high hopes for this one based on the credits & synopsis -- Power Rangers productions presents METAL!! \m/

& for once, I wasn’t really let down.

However, I immediately hated everyone in the car aside from the blonde (Val) because there is no reason to be a fucking dick about having a weak bladder. I liked that as a character trait for Val because it’s relatable as fuck.

At first it didn’t seem very ‘80s to me but the radio put a quick end to that -- nothing sets the scene for the '80-'90s like the satanic panic horseshit.

But I have to ding them a bit because they used Mercyiful Fate for the music but paid some weird actors without corpse paint to act like they were performing & it was a minor disappointment.

Anyway, with the murders happening in threes & that being the obvious focus of the movie you're immediately wondering which group -- the 3 girls or 3 guys -- are the murderers. & while the awkward ass convo in the parking lot was entirely uninteresting, it was pretty typical of the lot outside of a metal show & a lot of hints were dropped.

My money was on the girls pretty early on because -- of course. & the twist of them being the Christians using the satanic panic to manipulate the public -- & Alexis being Pastor Johnny Knoxville’s daughter -- was nice.

It was really quite predictable & everything laid out like a typical slasher/killer movie. But it had enough of a weirdness -- a lack of gore, & seriousness that blunted everything & didn’t made me viscerally hate the whole damn thing.

Val being caught pissing while the boys are trying to get away is an example of one of many reasons why I'd be an incompetent villain.

Overall, it wasn't a thinker, there was no suspense, nothing was surprising. TBH, it was heavy-handed as fuck & I know this is the junk food equivalent of a horror movie.

& in that it’s like so many others on this list. Yet, unlike the others I am entirely the target audience here & I couldn't help but like it.

Current ranking:

Llamageddon

Sweeney Todd

We Summon the Darkness

A Classic Horror Story

St. Maud

Pure

Mortal

Teeth

The Voyeurs

Sea Fever

Come True

Crawl

Feral

Demon House

It Came from the Desert

I feel like I need to reiterate that this list is based on what I personally enjoyed watching vs. what is a good movie. St. Maud, Mortal, The Voyeurs, etc.. all better written stories but I liked We Summon the Darkness better because it’s my type of trash.

& again I’m hoping to come back & do a crisper, digital version of the drawing but for now all I’ve got is my hand drawn sketch.

Just in case anyone’s wondering on this one -- I drew one of King Diamond’s corpse paint designs because I felt like it was missing from the movie.

#sage31days #31 days of horror #31daysofhorror #we summon the darkness movie #slashers #horror movie #horror reviews

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shemakesmusic-uk · 3 years

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Wallice has shared her subversive new single 'Hey Michael'. 'Hey Michael' amplifies her blood-thirsty nature, a revenge anthem that finds Wallice turning into a worse villain than her erstwhile love interest. A song about toxic tendencies and how they manifest in our lives, 'Hey Michael' twists and turns around American Psycho imagery. Wallice labels "a revenge anthem for anyone who has encountered a gaslighting, manipulative person. It’s what I wish I would have said to all the ‘Michael’s’ I have met in my life. It can be substituted by many names, we all know or have met a ‘Michael’ though. Somehow the world revolves around them and they just can’t catch a break, because they never do anything wrong and it’s usually your fault. You should have listened to your gut instinct and swiped left on this Michael. This isn’t a man-hating song, it’s just something many people can relate to. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to admit just how bad a friend, date, or romantic partner was and a lot of the time, I would just smile and laugh off stupid remarks but when I think back, I wish I had told them off. But at the same time, my persona in the song is not the best person either. I literally say: I think I want to start a fight, which one is your girlfriend? The whole song is funny because I am so focused on how shitty Michael is that I don’t even think about how shitty I might be as well." Directed by Phil Stillwell, the video takes place at a house party, with Wallice interacting with various 'Michaels' before her behaviour spirals into something much, much worse. [via Clash]

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In the same vein as Massive Attack’s suburban groove and social commentary in the mid 90’s, KITA have captured the rhythm and heartbeat of suburban Pōneke; a city abuzz with a vibrant music and dramatic performance scene in their brand new track and official video, ‘Private Lives’. Weaving together elements of vintage rock, pop and soul, and warm hints of synth, KITA have created a skin-prickling piece of magic with ‘Private Lives’, a deeply beautiful track penned in 2020’s lockdown, that delves into the unknown of what happens when the blinds are shut – the parts of life that are unseen by others. "Standing from my kitchen window during lockdown in Aotearoa, sinister thoughts entered my mind about what could be happening behind closed doors for people”, says front-woman Nikita 雅涵 Tu- Bryant. The video tells the story of a father and daughter’s relationship amongst snapshots of everyday life and its monotonous anonymity, while things aren’t always what they appear on the surface. Late at night the father can finally reveal his true self, adorning makeup and sequins, only to be spied by his daughter. The two then share a special moment of dressing up and dancing together, a true celebration of individuality, self-love and the beauty of self-expression.

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'Just Chemistry' is the third single from Dance Lessons, a London-based, female-fronted and produced trio, creating what they define as Serrated Pop. 'Just Chemistry' is a delicate hymn to the unspoken. Dance Lessons return with their signature sound – minimal production, sleek vocals and intricate arrangements. Ann says: “'Just Chemistry' is about the over-complication of our relationships. It’s about the things that are left unsaid in-between the awkward text messages and conversations, and how the absence of knowing can be misinterpreted as doubt. Last year was a difficult one. For a long time, I felt at the mercy of my emotions. I doubted where things were going. I lived in the future and found it hard to commit to the present. But these moments of not knowing can be equally thrilling and beautiful. And that’s what the song is about: finding beauty in the unspoken. In most cases, it’s chemistry that makes us fall in love. Things end, all is temporary. Let’s not go to war with one another over it.” Nat says on the video: “A friend told us about this weird and wonderful house in North London that feels a little like stepping into an acid trip. We obviously wanted to check it out. It’s completely surreal, all over the place (in a great way) and generally eclectic, which felt inherently us. We instantly wanted to do something there and asked the owner for permission to shoot a music video. We filmed during lockdown and were let loose embracing all the oddness of it. Ann also designed and created the outfit she wears in the video, something she does with most of her wardrobe. It was shot, directed and edited by our hugely talented friends Ben Hanson and Simon Frost from Borderland Studios.”

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Returning with her first offering of the year, North London’s rising star Laurel Smith is ready to reveal her anticipated new single, ‘Out the Cage’ accompanied by an action packed and thrilling cinematic style music video directed by Jeremie Brivet and Jai Garcha. Sticking to her winning recipe of moody, dark, electro-pop production paired with effortlessly edgy tales of narrative lyricism, ‘Out the Cage’ is the next huge single from the young, innovative artist that is sure to follow the same trajectory of success as its predecessor, ‘Game Over’ released late last year. A songwriter and recording artist, Laurel Smith has been writing songs since the age of sixteen. With each single she’s released, Laurel has continued to adapt her sound and aesthetic, consistently honing her craft and evolving her brand. She has carefully carved out her place in an ever crowded industry and proceeds to turn heads at every corner. “‘Out The Cage’ is a song about breaking out from your constraints, both physical and mental. Although it can be interpreted in any way, when I wrote it I created a story around a bored housewife, falling out of love with her husband, she fantasises about tying him up and leaving him to be a badass assassin in a video game type world, roaming the city at night and living a life of unpredictability and excitement”.

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Hailing from the Philippines, singer-songwriter Laica is coming off a breakout 2020. Now the 21-year-old is gearing up for the release of her debut album I’m so fine at being lonely. The first single off the project, 'love u lately' is here, accompanied by a music video directed by Cooper Leith. 'Love u lately' is a relatable and infectious track. The song revolves around dating, understanding mixed signals, and the confusion that surrounds that world. Lyrically, Laica walks us through her experiences here, voicing her thoughts and frustrations about someone who she just can't seem to read right. Production-wise, the track is carried by a pulsing synth and a groovy bass. Together, the track feels upbeat. The vibe created by the production stands in contrast with the more emotional lyrics, making the track complex and interesting. The music video takes the concept of 'love u lately' to the extreme, in a fun and playful way. Laica is seen capturing her dream boy and attempting to use witchcraft to finally win him over. The video has a very DIY feel, which could serve to add to the reliability of the track. It’s a great extension of the track and taps into everyone’s most fantasy-driven realities. [via Earmilk]

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At first, Emily C Browning wasn't sure what to think. Spurned, rejected, and cast aside, she was angry, furious, and - at times - utterly bereft. Usually she'd utilise songwriting as a vessel for her emotions, but when she was so conflicted, and feeling so negative, that it just didn't enter her mind. The Christchurch, New Zealand artist needed to take a step back, and when she located some perspective, she was ready to act. New single 'I Wasn't Into You Anyway' is a soaring slice of revenge, one that finds Emily C Browning taking full control of her music. Her first solo production credit, its reminiscent of those surging, empowering Maggie Rogers bops, while also containing similar DNA to Sharon Van Etten's work. Lyrically, it's absolutely her own creation, with Emily leaning on those often-hidden feelings. She comments... "Everyday for a month I wrote in my journal: I want to write a song about feeling rejected. But I couldn’t figure out how to keep it light and funny, it can be quite a painful topic and I didn’t want to sound too heavy. But I kept working on it everyday and came up with this song. I then spent another month recording it, trying to capture a sound that stayed upbeat and playful. I put so much time and energy into the song that I ended up completely forgetting about the person who rejected me in the first place (honest, I swear)." [via Clash]

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Alt-pop force Holly Humberstone returns with new single 'Haunted House'. The songwriter's potent debut EP Falling Asleep At The Wheel was a sensation, racking up more than 100 million global streams. A bona fide phenomenon, Holly returns with a single that displays a more nuanced, reflective side to her work. 'Haunted House' digs into childhood, and looks at the way memory can frame the way we construct our identities. She comments: "I wrote this song about the old and characterful house I grew up in. The house is such a huge part of who I am and our family. With my sisters and I moving out and living separate lives, coming home feels very comforting and one of the only things keeping us all connected." Playing with concrete imagery and no small degree of invention, 'Haunted House' connects art to life in an enchanting fashion. She adds: "The house is almost falling down around us now though, and we’ve realised that pretty soon we’ll be forced to leave. There’s a cellar full of meat hooks and a climate so damp mushrooms grow out of the walls. Loads of people have probably died here in the past but I’ve always felt really safe. It’s like a seventh family member. It’s part of me." [via Clash]

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In 2019, the Boston-born and Brooklyn-based indie rock album Crumb released their debut album Jinx. Crumb haven’t yet announced plans to follow that album up, but they’re definitely working towards something. Last month, the band came out with a one-off single called 'Trophy.' Now, they’ve followed that one with two new tracks, and they’re both winners. The new songs 'BNR' and 'Balloon' both fit nicely into Crumb’s comfort zone. The band’s sound is a rich, sophisticated take on psychedelia, with blissed-out lead vocals from Lila Ramani and with some great funky drum action. The band co-produced both songs with Foxygen’s Jonathan Rado, who’s done great recent work with people like Father John Misty and Weyes Blood and the Killers and who knows how to make oblique ’70s-style pop sound good. But Crumb themselves deserve a ton of credit for coming up with a sound this layered and weird. They’re the rare circa-2021 band who might remind you of Broadcast. In a press release, Ramani says, “‘BNR’ is an ode to my favorite colors. I had a weird obsession with those colors in winter 2018-2019 and felt like they would follow me around everywhere I went." 'BNR' also has a cool music video. Director Joe Mischo starts the clip off as a hallucinatory reverie, but he turns it sharply towards horror at the end. [via Stereogum]

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Last year, Limerick poet/musician Sinead O’Brien released her debut EP, Drowning In Blessings. It was a unique work, a handful of songs featuring O’Brien’s sing-speak over spindly, post-punk guitars. It garnered O’Brien a bit of buzz overseas, and it left you wondering where she might take her music from there. Now, O’Brien’s back with a new song called 'Kid Stuff.' “‘Kid Stuff’ shows up all different tones on different days,” O’Brien said in a statement. “There’s something alive in it which cannot be caught or told. It is direct but complex; it contains chapters. This feels like our purest and most succinct expression yet.” Like Drowning In Blessings, 'Kid Stuff' found O’Brien working with Speedy Wunderground mastermind Dan Carey. Musically, it hints at a level up moment for O’Brien. There was something alluring and jagged about Drowning In Blessings, but 'Kid Stuff' places her usual approach over a song that is surprisingly groovy — maybe even a little danceable. It comes with a video directed by Saskia Dixie. [via Stereogum]

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Das Beat are made up of German actress and vocalist Eddie Rabenberger and Agor of Blue Hawaii. The pair have just shared their first single 'Bubble' online now and are set to release their debut EP Identität on June 4 via Arbutus Records. Born in Berlin during 2020’s legendary lockdown, Das Beat seeks to blast both boredom and boundary. Dabbling in German New Wave, Italo Disco, Indie & Dance, their sound is unified by vocals from Eddie Rabenberger, sung in German and English. Amidst playful lyrics one finds a strong underlying pulse (das “beat”), pinning down the duo’s meandering atmospherics, dreamy synths, guitars and percussion. The duo is half-Canadian and half-German. Agor (of Blue Hawaii), moved to Berlin from Montreal in 2018. Eddie is a theatre actress originally hailing from a small town in Bavaria. Together they find a strange but alluring symbiosis - like Giorgio Moroder meets Nico, or Gina X Performance meets The Prodigy.

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St. Vincent has fully embraced the ’70s aesthetic for her retro-sounding new record, Daddy’s Home. Now, she’s diving headlong into the animation styles of the era with the video for 'The Melting of the Sun'. Presented as a “betamax deluxe release” rip from “Candy’s Music Video Archives,” the clip blends live action shots of St. Vincent herself with the wavy, intermittent animation frames any Schoolhouse Rock student is familiar with. The psychedelic lines fit a song called 'The Melting of the Sun' perfectly, as do the drawings of the legends mentioned in the song’s lyrics like Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell, and Tori Amos. St. Vincent co-directed the clip with Bill Benz, while Chris McD provided the animation. [via Consequence]

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Bay Area slowcore trio Sour Widows have released a new single, 'Bathroom Stall,' from their forthcoming EP Crossing Over, which they announced last month with its title track. The song’s build-up is subtle and poignant like Sufjan Stevens, but Maia Sinaiko’s evocative, sweeping vocals are one-of-a-kind, and the lyrics are graphic and tragic: “Do you remember it like I do?/ Your lips turned blue I had my fingers in your mouth/ And I couldn’t get them out.” Sinaiko said of the song: "This song is about a relationship I had with someone who struggled with addiction, who very tragically passed away three years ago while we were together. It’s about some moments we shared, and how it feels to walk around carrying that person and those experiences with me while the world stays normal. I wrote the song because I wanted to preserve and document what happened to me. to write out the scary stuff and just let it sit there forever. I think its funny that its called 'Bathroom Stall' and that it has that image in it: the song goes from heavy and dark to ordinary and totally pedestrian in a sentence, which feels absurd. And that’s kind of what it’s like to grieve. That’s kind of what’s hard to explain about grief, how absurd it is. Part of you goes to a different planet and part of you stays walking around like an alien on Earth, going to the bathroom and looking at the moon and shit." [via Stereogum]

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As JUNO-nominated singer Kandle Osborne prepares to launch her new project, Set The Fire this spring, she shares the album’s third single, 'Misty Morning.' From being penned on a napkin while abroad to a Vancouver studio, 'Misty Morning' is a sonic journey that echoes soulful vulnerability and an honest reflection of realizing true love. For the video, Kandle reconnects with 'Honey Trap' director, Brandon William Fletcher, to create classic 40s noir-inspired cine-magic, filmed along the Vancouver coastline and within the lush landscape of Stanley Park. Kandle says: “‘Misty Morning’ is my first real love song, captured on a napkin while in Ischia, Italy when I was truly happy. My songwriting usually comes from a place of turmoil and catharsis, but this was simply a snapshot of a perfect, vulnerable moment. In recording it, I wanted to hide behind lush orchestration, but my producer/ best friend Michael Rendall had other ideas. He wanted to strip it down to just piano & a single vocal to take me out of my comfort zone and re-capture the open-hearted feelings I had while writing it. The song and the recording both hold for me a time when I dropped my guard for pure authentic love in spite of all my flaws and failures. In that moment, I felt my true value as a whole person for the first time.”

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On 'Vertigo,' Alice Merton’s first single of 2021, the 27-year-old describes the long road from uncertainty back to self-confidence. It emphasizes the unrest that seizes her again and again, the thought: “Why can’t I just let it go?” These contradicting thoughts and emotions that are so familiar to all of us sum up to an overwhelmingly positive effect - 'Vertigo' leaves you empowered rather than anxious: A powerful indie pop arrangement with distorted guitars, plus Alice Merton’s crystal-clear voice. The result is reminiscent of the British Invasion, with no air of self-doubt. With its energetic live qualities, 'Vertigo' feeds an appetite for summer festivals and concerts that will definitely return at some point. Largely responsible for this is the Canadian producer Koz, a multiple Grammy nominee, who has worked with Dua Lipa ('Physical') among others. Here, too, he adds on to what has already made Alice Merton stand out from the crowd in the past - her classic pop appeal - with an uncompromising and indie attitude. This enables Alice to take another big step: She equally encourages a shaken generation and herself that there will be easy summers again. That you can dance again and lie in each other's arms. That it is absolutely fine to have many facets, to not always be clear, and that strength and weakness are not mutually exclusive.

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Canadian artist Olivia Lunny's new release 'Sad To See You Happy' is a shamelessly poppy track centering an acutely relatable break-up narrative. The Canadian artist follows up her breakthrough success with a bouncy cut to soundtrack 2021’s long-awaited spring. There's a relatable tale of break-up at the heart of the gloriously poppy new single, belied by percussive instrumentation that creates a warm, nostalgic feel. [via Line Of Best Fit]

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After sharing the single last month, Charlotte Adigéry is now revealing the brand new video for ‘Bear With Me (and I’ll stand bare before you)’. The first new music since her 2019 debut EP Zandoli, Charlotte says of the video, “The video is about being confined thus confronted to the way we live. The cruel irony of having the privilege of standing still, questioning and observing my life in all safety while others are fighting for theirs. On the other hand, the video is about trying to stay sane while feeling that the walls are closing in on you. Embracing boredom and finding joy in the little things in life.” Director Alice Kunisue adds, “When I listened to Charlotte’s song and what it meant for her and Bolis, I wanted the video to visually encapsulate that feeling of being stuck inside and confronted to our deeper selves while paradoxically sensing the chaos going on in the outside world without being able to do anything about it. Choosing to film an apartment room from one single angle was a way to reflect that narrowness of thought that we all experienced, but also a constraint that allowed us to explore and develop visual ideas within a narrow system, in a way having to think only inside the box, which artistically was a fun challenge.” [via DIY]

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Millie Turner has shared a video for ‘Concrete Tragedy’. It’s a cut from her upcoming mini-album Eye Of The Storm, set for release on May 16, which also features a rework of breakout song ‘(Breathe) Underwater’. “This video is a visual representation of dancing on your own,” she says of the clip. “Combining the many parts of who we are when we’re by ourselves, I wanted it to feel like you’re entering a world of imagination that comes alive when we express ourselves.” [via Dork]

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Doja Cat and SZA have come together for a new single called 'Kiss Me More.' When the song was announced Wednesday night, the internet flipped out, which is to be expected with these two — especially Doja Cat, who is regularly going viral these days for all kinds of reasons. When it comes to collaborations, she always finds the best people. That includes Saweetie, who appeared on Doja’s recent 'Best Friend' but then claimed that it was released against her wishes. Given SZA’s long history of public frustration over TDE Records holding back her new album, she is probably happy to have any new music out. Despite recent single 'Good Days' hitting the top 10, her restless fanbase is still awaiting a follow-up to 2017’s iconic Ctrl. 'Kiss Me More' is the first single from Doja’s new album Planet Her, scheduled for release this summer. It returns to the disco vibes of Doja’s #1 hit 'Say So,' this time with no apparent resemblance to any Skylar Spence song. [via Stereogum]

#videos of the week #wallice #kita #dance lessons #laurel smith #laica #emily c. browning #holly humberstone #crumb #st. vincent #sour widows #kandle #alice merton #olivia lunny #charlotte adigery #millie turner #doja cat #sza

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roleplay-salt · 4 years

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“The only thing “boring af” here is apparently you. God, I can’t believe I have to properly explain and defend the right to explore and write villains and truly evil acts on a topic as this... but I won’t leave behind any darkly written muse. Look, just because you won’t write it nor associate with anyone who does write it, doesn’t mean you get to pretend that there isn’t a single reason out there about this topic that would be attractive to another writer. You’re just being a dickhead for the sake of being a dickhead, acting as if preying on children is literally the only thing that can be written about a pedophile. Here are some good reasons, at the drop of hat, because that how easy it is when you choose to think critically, not emotionally: 1. Writing the pedophile as NOT a villain, but as someone struggling to overcome their sickness, which certainly acknowledges the whole point of the OG OP’s point: That they’re human beings, too, but living with a serious, perhaps even dangerous, mental illness. They still live normal human lives in the public eye - they still go to school; have jobs, friends, family, even adult lovers; have enemies and troubles that have nothing to do with their illness; have hobbies and interests that have nothing to do with their illness. And then even exploring how their illness fucks with any or all of these normal aspects in their life. 2. Writing them 100% a villain - someone who has embraced their evil. They don’t care about the harm they cause; they’re selfish and they want what they want. But it can’t be easy to take what you want without getting caught, right? So, the writer explores the psychological aspect of deception, manipulation, secrecy, and intimidation all the while portraying their character as someone wholesome, charming, and a productive member of society. Like serial killers, both fictional (Dexter? Hannibal?) and real (John Wayne Gacy? Ted Bundy?). 3. Exploring the extreme psychological element behind grooming a child. How will the pedophile go about it? How do they keep the secret between them and the child? How does the relationship develop between them and the child? How do they interact together outside of the act of sexual abuse? Does the pedophile fall in love? Does the child grow up with a twisted sense of love and devotion? Very much exploring the lasting impact, much like what happened in Lolita. 4. Why does the child have to be human? Why can’t they be an immortal of some sort, forever trapped in the body of a child, but with the mind of an adult? If that’s the case, then the writer can also easily explore the aspect of the CHILD being the sexual predator, luring in an adult human who may not be a pedophile, but has no choice but to be their lover. Or what if both the child and adult are both immortals? (Claudia and Louis from Interview with the Vampire? Anyone?) 5. Why would it ever have to take place in today’s modern world? Why couldn’t it take place in a dystopian-type era, where there are no laws? Do you seriously believe that in a world where there is only survival, everything BUT child rape happens? What if it’s a different species? Or an alien culture? 6. Why does it have to be a MALE pedophile?? (Because I noticed that immediately, using male pronouns, acting as if there has never been an instance where a woman sexually abuses a child.) Why does it even have to be an adult as a pedophile? There are absolutely child and teenage pedophiles. 7. Why does it even have to be a pedophile, someone who is sexually attracted to minors under the age of eleven years old? Why not a hebephile (attracted to minors between the ages of eleven and fourteen)? Why not an ephebophile (attracted to minors between the ages of fifteen and nineteen)? Female sexual predators are DEFINITELY prolific with these age groups, specifically teachers. I don’t write pedophilia, and I don’t foresee a circumstance where I might consider it, but I can see SO many perspectives as to why someone else would, because the shit is no different from writing anything else dark, ESPECIALLY if it has a sexual aspect to it. Because for whatever goddamn reason with you people, you can write about a child slowly cannibalizing another child, or someone brutally murdering a woman and carving out her eyes for a trophy, or someone sadistically torturing a man by slowly cutting out his intestines and wrenching out his teeth one by one... But if you have that character touch their genitals in ANY WAY, then suddenly it’s too much. “You’ve gone TOO FAR, my dude, adding a sexual element prior to that horrific, violent BEATING act you just had your character bestow that child. Why, yes, of course you can starve that child. Force it to sit at the table and endure the rest of the family eat a steak and potato dinner! Yes, let the child be denied a bed or blanket; let it sleep on the floor, using sheets of paper towel as a way to keep warm! ...H-hey, what? Whoa, whoa, WHOA! What are you doing? Are you writing about your character SEXUALLY abusing the child? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you LIKE that kind of shit or something? Wow, you’re a creep. That shit’s illegal for a reason! THINK ABOUT THE REAL VICTIMS YOU’RE HURTING!” It’s just ignorant and absurd, and I won’t have it. I will side with someone who wants to explore the dark themes of a pedophile before I ever side with the fucking hypocrisy and insufferable moral grandstanding of those who make exceptions for everything... as long as it doesn’t involve a dreaded sex crime. You don’t have to fucking write it; no one is even saying you have to fucking like it or agree with it. But don’t fucking pretend to be morally superior because you won’t write it, and don’t be so insulting as to imply that there is nothing creatively interesting to be explored.”

RE: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33

#{submission || reply}#confession #roleplay confession #twcontroversy #dark content #long post

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mwolf0epsilon · 4 years

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Howbout a story where everyone is out of the studio and they get to go back to their families?

Summary: Recovery is hard when you feel disconnected from the world around you.

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[[MORE]]

In total, Henry had spent an entire 5 years stuck inside the seemingly never-ending loop that Joey had designated as the Cycle. It was absolutely surreal to the old cartoonist, reading his ex-childhood friend turned tormentor's notes and studies on the subject matter. The neat cursive detailing mad ramblings that could pass off as the musings of an overzealous researcher observing terrified mice in a booby-trapped maze. Studying their patterns, the subsequent changes of them upon additional stimuli being added to their environment, and other insane practices that completely threw morality out of the proverbial window.

Each beginning and ending of a year, another marked failure upon a calendar oversaturated by Joey Drew's overwhelming lack of satisfaction.

Even so, as much as it ached to think about lost time, 5 years wasn't much compared to what everyone else had to endure. 20 years of inky hell were nothing to shrug about, and Henry wasn't planning on just throwing everyone out into the streets to fend for themselves.

The house so close to the mountains, an inheritance he'd never really thought would come in handy, was the only reprive these shells of people had ever had in the span of two decades full of torment. His attention the only positive social interaction that they could recall with their broken minds.

Their recovery was not his responsibility, but he felt that he owed it to them regardless of the fact. Joey's descent was entirely on the man (his heinous crimes as well), but it didn't sit well with Henry to just not do anything to help fix some of the damages of the world.

And god if it didn't fill him with hope when he watched them slowly go into the road of recovery. People on the mend, shedding their old skins to become less the product of a cruel fiddler's ambitions, and more of their old selves, albeit newer in certain aspects.

The angels remained so, with little nubby horns and skin papery white. Tired eyes of sepia toned yellows, and scars from horrors he couldn't hope to understand. That he'd seen mere shadows of while briefly imprisoned himself.

Sammy fluctuated, stuck in a cycle of trying to find himself now that he felt like he was neither Samuel Lawrence Jr, nor the Prophet that worshipped the Ink Demon. Sometimes more close to human, other times coated in thick tarry skin that reflected oddly in the light. The closest he got to his old self was very close to the truth, but his once curly blond locks were now a messy tangle of raven curls that made him look so much paler than he should be. His teeth were sharp, his eyes far too yellow, and he refused to walk around barefoot even while indoors.

Tom and Buddy were still hound-like cartoon wolves, although now the feeling of fuzz was less a tactile illusion and more of a reality. Thick winter coats and soft summer furs. The shedding was absurd, but at least if they were spotted during the day they could pass off as very big dogs just frolicking in the woods. The same could not be said for the Searchers, Lost Ones and other cartoon characters that were slowly transitioning into less revolting forms. Jack had recently become a Lost One, consistent enough to wear clothing, but still having a hard time grasping speech.

Shawn too had passed onto the Lost One phase, but his tremendous size as the largest searcher with a mighty fine top hat, had followed him into his transition. He was over 9 feet tall and (albeit more wordy than most others of his kind) surprisingly bothered by his new height. Finding clothes that fit him would be a terrible pain.

Bertrum, Lacie and Norman were a difficult topic. Their mechanical parts had ensured their forms were stable and static. They couldn't become more human in appearence, and that in turn hindered their psychological recovery considerably. Still they were fighting that uphill battle, even if very slowly.

20 whole years of suffering, and still here they were, defying Joey Drew by getting to a point where they could begin to believe they were people again.

Henry Stein couldn't be prouder.

A lot of the crew had little to no remaining family. It was somewhat devastating to both him and Linda, as they poured their all into locating the studio employees's living relatives, only to find obituaries and tracks leading absolutely nowhere.

Buddy's case hurt the most, seeing the kid so heartbroken standing over his families's graves and his own empty one, had certainly put things into perspective. Illness had taken his mother just shy of a year of their escape... It wasn't fair.

Susie was much the same, crying thick tears as she left flowers on her poor mama's grave. She prayed her last years had been full of kindness despite her daughter having all but vanished into thin air.

Contacting the Pendles took a few days, and Tom refused to contact any of his own relatives, as he hadn't had that good of a relationship with his extended family to begin with. The only people that ever mattered were dead well before the machine had been built. Henry found that to be an overall theme for nearly everyone, really.

Joey Drew Studios had been built upon the hardships of social outcasts and dreamers. Joey's preferred prey had been those he deemed easily manipulated. People that wouldn't be missed too terribly.

The two largest exceptions being Sammy and Norman, and even then the both of them were not easy cases when it came to family reunions.

Henry had no idea where to look for Sammy's sister, as he couldn't find records of an Abigail Marie Lawrence after a certain amount of years (perhaps she'd married and taken on her husband's name?), and Norman... Well... The Projectionist didn't like strangers.

That alone made Norman exceedingly opposed to seeking anyone out. He was scared that he might have an "episode" and bring harm to whatever family member was out there missing him. A painful choice, as the want for home was clear in his gestures, his signed words, his dreams...

Henry would just have to focus on those that could be brought back home. For now at least.

The day Jack's face returned to him was the very same one where he saw his husband for the first time in two decades.

He'd been a complete jitterbug, fearful that his lovely hat and wedding ring wouldn't be enough for his beloved to recognize him. Lost Ones were people shaped but still very unnatural to look upon, even if Jack's form was considerably less emaciated and his words were slowly returning to him.

Nearly chickened out too, once an older gentleman was welcomed inside and briefly spoken to by Henry. Theo had come knowing Jack wasn't completely the same, but there was no revulsion, no regrets in getting his hopes up.

Just from body language alone, Theo had seen his husband in the round figure with sad glowing eyes and a battered bowler hat that still smelled mildly of sewage. Everyone had practically melted with delight as both held each other and cried happy tears at being reunited.

And then the ink of Jack's face began to melt off. Sepia skin and dark inky eyes, a round face framed by poofy locks. Peace of mind had let the biggest wounds heal. His voice was still not completely back, but both he and Theo had always held silent conversations. This wasn't an issue.

Saying goodbye was hard, but it gave everyone hope. If Jack who'd been something as mindless as a Searcher, could heal and move on, then nothing was stopping anyone else from living their best lives as well.

The will to live was further renewed.

Linda ends up being the one to ultimately find Sammy's younger sister. To their surprise, it brings a slice of the Polk family right to them as well.

Abigail Marie Lawrence was only such by blood. By name, she was now a Polk herself.

Married to Nelson, one of Norman's many nephews, and a childhood friend of hers.

Together they had a son. A tired looking young man with an uncanny resemblance to his uncle of all things. Mostly in the eyes. The hazel coloration that Sammy and Abby once shared had passed on to Lucian Polk.

Meeting them was... Awkward.

And very heated.

20 years of unexpected separation had brought up a lot of turmoils that neither knew how to deal with. In the end Linda and Henry had to separate the screaming pair, enough so that both hot-headed folk could cool down and then rush back to hug each other tightly and cry. Regretful and remorseful words spilling out with the tears and snot.

Overall, not something Henry ever wanted to get caught up in ever again. The Lawrence children were a little too intense for his taste.

When asked about Norman however... Well... Henry would have rather been stuck between a screaming match than be forced to explain about the Projectionist...

Avoidance brought him questioning looks, but a simple nod and a look that silenced any further questions. Nelson Polk was a gracious man that accepted when others needed time to themselves. He was only a brute by appearence after all.

He'd stated calmly that if Norman ever felt ready, he'd be welcomed with open arms regardless of whatever twisted form he may have taken on.

Layer that same day, Sammy told Henry that upon being told this, the Projectionist seemed happier in some way.

Recovery is hard when you feel disconnected from the world around you. For a long while, Henry feared that the gap between the years of their freedom, imprisonment, and subsequent rescue, would prove too much for everyone who'd become an inky abomination.

Was he ever so glad to be mistaken.

While there were many bumps on the proverbial road, and many a trial to face, everyone was thriving. Getting used to a world that was alien to them in some ways, but full of possibilities for them to explore.

Some were greatly limited by their conditions, but they too were managing.

Lacie had been steadily repaired and updated with her and Tom's combined efforts, and together they'd eventually figured out how to give Bertrum a better quality of life, through slowly converting his amusement ride body into something of a spider-like mobile unit. A little frightening at first, but progress towards constructing him an animatronic body perhaps? The world was their oyster. Their terrifying mechanical oyster.

Sammy's human form had eventually stabilized to where he only became his inky self when at his very limit, and Norman's mental faculties had return to a point where he finally felt safe reuniting with his family. They were initially quite horrified by the state of him, but didn't reject him. Merely fretted that he may be in pain.

His wife had long since remarried, but that wasn't much of an issue for him. Norman liked her new wife, she was everything the mother of his children deserved! And he'd thanked her as best he could for looking after his little ones when he couldn't.

Through a lot of home-schooling (bless Linda for being an excellent teacher), Buddy had finished the studies he'd abandoned to provide for his family. While he couldn't exactly get a job, it felt good to accomplish a goal he'd thought impossible.

He became a bit of an honorary Stein once Linda and the girls took a shine to him. It hurt that he couldn't live with them back in the city, but he liked the freedom the woodland location gave him. He was a wolf after all, even if at heart he was a young lad full of artistic ambition.

Susie and Allison were the easiest to rehabilitate in the end. They fought their demons and they came to terms with who they were. While Susie still had a few issues with her image and identity, she was doing formidably well in the writing industry.

Disguising her tale as a story of fiction as a means to vent, had sparked a talent she'd never thought she had.

Allison in turn took up the chore of making their home self-sustaining. Gardening, water filtration, the works. She processed her pain and grief through hard work and physical activities. Then when she was satisfied, she'd sit under the stars and reflect.

Many times she was joined by others who found the stars to be great listeners to their own plights. The company felt comfortable.

It felt good to trust again. Felt even better when a certain wolf sat besides her and admire the expanses of their freedom right beside her.

Yes, Henry Stein was truly proud of everyone's progress. He was glad he'd stuck around to witness it.

#eps writes:#bendy and the ink machine #batim #post-studio au #long post

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