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blackstarchanx3new · 9 months

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Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 3

Pages 61-90

Back at it again with Mike and his silly little adventures in Freddy's.

Huh.

What'd you see.

Stop being vague.

Who are these creepy masked people???

The bullies from FNAF four

Damn if only there was an entire side comic FNAF 4 cough cough I made about them that will explain that lol. We'll get to the side comics I promise. ;)

Whatever he saw, he's terrified to re-live.

Ouch.

Someone got hurt-

What the hell are you apologizing for exactly?

What'd you do?

None of those people in the masks were you...

We can tell cause they actually had a skin tone lmfao.

Oh that could use some cream.

So that's why "the bite" kept making Mike uncomfortable...

This kid got his head munched on.

And it wasn't ACTION but LACK of action he's cowering in fear from a child over.

Side note this panel out of context is hilarious and I won't pretend it's not.

Hi Bonnie! :D

He is the best.

Damn okay.

What's reality?

Ominous poster of the yellow Freddy for sure isn't important.

Haha Mike ya have episodes like this often? Often enough he composes himself afterwards.

He's utterly bamboozled Bonnie apparently SAW the kid he was chasing so...maybe.

That smirk is unsettling.

So this part of the building used to be "Fredbear's" the place Michael's favorite animatronic "Spring Bonnie" is from and mentioned earlier. Fredbear is clearly the one who bit the child.

I'd be scared too Bonnie thousand yard stares are concerning.

That's hysterical coming from the clearly possessed giant rabbit but go off I guess-

He's obviously trying to make Mike feel better which is nice of him. UwU

Aww. Hug how sweet.

So now we know a bit more about Mike. Let's review:

This nameless kid Mike saw die was obviously Michael's brother Cody Afton from all the context clues we've been given:

Mike's reaction to Micheal bringing up Fredbears, due to it being a traumatic event.

Cody being "Bit"

Mike doesn't seem TOO sure they're the same person but we know it is.

Mike blames himself for not doing anything at the time to stop Cody's head from getting crunched.

Mike's grasp on reality is...Flimsy. Self admittedly he thinks it's flimsy and he knows when he needs to go home when it's too much.

Mike is desperate for comfort over his trauma with Freddy's and Bonnie's a cool dude who'll give it.

You'd think Bonnie would be a bully from his intro but he's actually a super caring guy, he just can't stand people who purposely cause problems.

Bro comes in clutch with the hugs.

You can see why Freddy would run to this guy to solve issues haha.

So from those first panels we know 1 thing:

He had no clue Ennard was in the room with them. So add stalking to the list of creepy things that clown robot has done so far.

My god it's an old man-

He's Micheal's dad! :D William Afton!

Alright I'm gonna stop being goofy and vague for a moment:

It's obvious he's evil as fuck and for the people who like to bitch he has a personality in this comic or ANY media where people give William a personality: Stop making excuses as to why you write him one note you cowards, you can give him a personality without condoning what he does lmfao. Only a bad writer would say you HAVE to make him one note for him to work. Fucking morons actually you are stupid if you believe that.

If you wanna make him cartoonishly evil with NO redeeming qualities: Cool. Whatever. Just shut the fuck up don't act like yours is "Better" because you can't think of ways to make him anymore interesting.

Everyone's William caters to their tastes. Nobody's is PERFECT. I only judge stupid vapid bitches who complain about other interpretations while blowing smoke up their own asses. Because an ego isn't pretty on anyone lmfao.

The idea giving William a personality makes you a terrible writer/person needs to die I'm sorry that's such a stupid as fuck idea idk who came up with it but kindly stop writing and stop giving writing advice. UwU With love~ From me!~

Anyways I've spoiled William is a bad person who does a bad thing, Won't say what yet but all the death in the building can give ya some ideas. And apparently because William is bad guy there's "Rules" on how to write him. From a bunch of 12 year olds who dunno how to write but I digress.

I detest the idea of that. Because let's be real all FNAF characters are blank slates and the idea of squashing creativity is dumb. Literally go wild with your FNAF AUs.

Rant aside: William seems to be a bit of...An ass.

Just slightly manipulative and rude language towards his only living child it's fine-

Ah yes. He also demands physical affection.

We get Michael's age, he's 23 aka still a damn baby.

Also, William and Michael are British.

Since we're on voices:

Mike Schmidt would sound like Legoshi from Beastars lmfao. I imagine Bonnie with a new York accent. Freddy sounds like a lady.

We finally get to see what Ennard and Michael interact like together...

Michael doesn't seem to put up with him.

Ennard's kind of a prick.

Also apparently they have a HISTORY.

One that involves Michael talking shit about his father...

For people who know shit about the games: Yes Ennard is possessed by the same person from the games.

Hah Michael tricked him.

Okay so everyone in Michael's life is manipulative towards him.

Neat.

Also Ennard is a raging hypocrite.

Also conformation William is an owner not just a robot maker. (Can't remember if this was brought up earlier again some of these pages are 2 years old lmfao)

Also this comic assumes you got SOME Fnaf knowledge. I'd hope it's still interesting for those of you who are here for my other stuff! XD

Like ouch Ennard ya don't gotta be such a jerk.

Also Mike is cute.

This panel unironically is one of my favorites because this man doesn't scream in terror at any of the terrifying robots:

It's the gay guy he's trying to befriend he screams like a little girl at.

Another help wanted joke about the Faz token under the cupcake in the office.

Michael just wants to hang out with Mike obviously.

Despite all the shit he's clearly going through dude puts on a very pointy smile.

This man is built like a cat.

Lol they made pizza together. How cute.

Hah bro is apologizing for something he didn't even do nor has control over-

Is it obvious Michael is abused yet?

Going real unsubtle here: Everything about Michael shows off he has been abused in some way shape or form.

Michael wants to think he's being friendly for reals despite clearly having second thoughts due to Ennard.

Bro is desperate for a connection with someone.

Also

Pff.

Mike c'mon Bonnie's so sweet how could you- X'D

Few things: William doesn't "Let" Michael do things.

If it wasn't apparent he was controlling as hell before it sure is now.

Also Michael is embarrassed of his interests.

Also the locker:

Again we see an instance of Michael going by "Mike" as his locker literally just has a piece of paper tapped over it adding the rest of his name lmao.

Michael is used to being toyed around with that is sad.

Bonnie continues to be a sweetheart even when he's off screen. X'D

Mike attempts to relate to Michael's interests once again.

Also another instance of Bonnie lying his ass off about how close Michael and him are:

He knows Michael's locker combination and puts gifts in there lmao.

Mike clearly likes that plush a lot. Maybe he likes Chica a lot lmao. Who knows.

One thing to note:

If Michael's working day shifts and night shifts...when does he sleep?

Grant it, it isn't ALL THE TIME but still bro's sleep schedule must be OBLITERATED.

Oh hi giant floating head in the hallway you're stalking Michael too huh?

This is just two sides of someone's brain arguing with itself that the entire positive interaction they just had was terrible AND the other party hates them.

And that comparison only makes more sense down the road.

Yeah Michael you tell him. You don't need to take that from him.

Jeremy's a cool dude.

Also the fact the kids pay no mind to this argument is funny.

Also Ennard taking genuine offense to Jeremy being a better friend lmao. Anyone can be a better friend than Ennard. X'D

We hit the image limit but oh boy. So much joy in this update.

#Creations AU #fnaf creations au #fnaf au #fnaf comic #fnaf fanart #fnaf art #fnaf 1 #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #mike schmidt #bonnie #freddy fazbear #fnaf 4 #fnaf 4 bullies #fnaf 4 cc #michael afton #micheal afton #fnaf 4 art #five nights at freddys

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twothpaste · 10 months

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i'm interested to hear about Porky for that character meme

First impression: The first time I saw Porky was in Smash Bros Brawl when I was like 12, and I was probably about as bamboozled as every other kid back then. I remember being creeped out and a little captivated, wondering what the hell could possibly be up with this rampaging kid / old man / ??? In some kind of life support mech??? Like damn these Mother games must be crazy. (Proceeded to emulate Pokemon instead for the next 6 years 🤸)

Impression now: Oh, I see! He was The Best Villain In All Of Media. That's what was up with him. He carved out a corner in the back of my brain where he's been living rent free for a decade. If I think too hard about him I go off the rails and sometimes become cataclysmically sad. Awesome.

Favorite moment: The entire Empire Porky Building is a mesmerizingly monolithic character study unto itself. But his climactic speech when you finally reach him at the 100th floor is like. God. Fucking hell. Where does one even begin. The surprising eloquent conviction with which he speaks, after a whole dungeon of childish taunting. And then, it's actually such a thin veneer after all. He's deluded himself into thinking he's a godlike visionary, but everything he declares about "humanity" is so insecure and immature and downright wrong. The unnerving spite and tragedy of it all. The urge to pity him feels like a bellyache. How you know where he came from and what a hapless child he used to be (and maybe still is) - but to the people of Nowhere?? They've got no fuckin' clue. And he doesn't belong here, but at the same time, he embodies every individualistic capitalistic apocalyptic thing they tried to shove under the rug and forget about. Just. Agh. Turns my brain and bones to jelly.

Idea for a story:

Unpopular opinion: He's not "insane," or mind controlled by Giygas, or gone "crazy" in the aftermath of Giygas' influence. A thousand lifetimes are sure to do something to a guy's head, sure - and I'm sure his mental health ain't great - but like?? Everything about him hits so much harder if he is of relatively sound reasoning (like every other capitalist), and if he's acting on his own will. Stripping him of his psychological agency renders him so thematically & conceptually toothless to me, idk. If he was just acting zany & evil 'cause he was out of his mind or whatever, then none of the shit he does or says really means anything!! Giygas brought out the worst in him. Aloysius and Lardna conditioned him to make terrible choices. Porky chose to spend 3842389 years committing atrocities unto mother Earth and mankind.

Favorite relationship: His friendship with Ness is so bittersweet, and his use of Claus as an extension of himself is both harrowing and fascinating. I think my fav is his narrative dynamics with Lucas though. How they both faced cruelty at the hands of shortsighted adults and the world at large, but learned completely different lessons from it. How Lucas, presumably a boundlessly kind and forgiving person, gets pushed to his absolute limit with this guy. How he's gotta grapple with the ethics of Porky's fate, whether or not he deserves to spend eternity trapped by his lonesome. How Porky coerces this humble farm kid into the role of Ness, chasing the high of his friendship and rivalry. How he calls Claus his "double," right in front of Claus' actual double, just to drive the knife in deeper. How he thinks he represents the grim reality of human nature, while Lucas stands tall and faces him as a shining counterpoint. Everybody explode now.

Favorite headcanon: Uhh shit I dunno what my favorite is. The Masked Man is based on one of his original comic characters he used to draw when he shouldda been paying attention in math class. He had a crush on Ness and didn't know what to do about it and now it's the whole universe's problem. He has a laughably poorly-informed admiration for Ronald Reagan, 'cause his dad spoke highly of him. If he were just a guy in the 2020s, his goal in life would be to usurp Elon Musk by being exactly the same but "smarter" and "more competent" (he would fail because he's neither).

#hm. long.#thank you 🙇#ask tag #2thtalks

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bean-n-shroob · 1 year

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Uh oh guys, I feel like rambling~

So this is something I already chatted with friend Ritz a month ago, but I thought I'd talk about it here

Anyways, there was a tweet asking for useless gaming knowledge, and someone responded with this

And I was thrown for a loop for a sec here cause that doesn't really make sense. Adults and Babies are the same bros

But then i realized its cause of this dialogue piece

And I can see WHY someone would think this is a theory as for the Bros in BiS being the babies and not adults of PiT, but it just doesn't make much sense

Cause, as we all know, Partners in Time takes place in a Perfect Time Loop. Or a bootstrap paradox, if you will.

The babies defeated the Shroobs cause the Adults went back in time and helped them. It's a perfect loop where none of the actions taken in the past affected the future. Including, above all else, Elder Princess Shroob getting sealed into star shards

So what gives? Why did Mario tell Starlow they fought the Shroobs when they were babies and not when they were adults?

Does BiS take place before PiT? No cause that wouldn't make sense given Fawful was in PiT plotting BiS

Is this an alternate timeline where the Baby Bros never repeated the events of PiT and thus doomed their baby selves to the shroobs? ... No >:v are you kidding me? I mean, let me remind you, PiT is a timeloop, the events have to happen as otherwise its an apocalyptic event. The Mario Bros will travel back in time because they have already traveled back in time.

Is this an alternate reality where PiT events never occurred? ... well, that would bring up a whole can of worms. What else didn't happen? Did SSS not happen either? Is BiS what would've happened had Fawful completed his whole villain arc and decided to part ways with Cackletta and go on his own adventure? Did M&L not go to Beanbean? Did Cackle and Fawful just fail to awaken the Beanstar and just never connected the dots that they got bamboozled and M&L and Peach are just chilling back at home? Is Cackletta actually still alive in this alternate reality (despite death not mattering, but that's not important right now)? Sounds too complex for an M&L game

So what gives?

Well, I'll tell you the same thing Ritz told me. BiS (much like all the other M&L games) is a movie that loosely adapted the events that actually went down and just got some details muddied up :3

#mod speaks #partners in time #mario and luigi #nintendask

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29pageshomestuckeveryday · 11 months

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Homestuck, page 2,772

Terezi: Troll this awesome coolkid.

Author commentary:

In the most fevered days of Homestuck fandom, there were hordes of teens who would roleplay online constantly, casually, for no reason at all, in anyone's direction. They used troll quirks, faithfully mimicked characters, the works. I only bring this fact up now because it occurs to me that this conversation does a great job capturing what it's like when you're minding your own business as Dave is doing, and some rando comes out of nowhere and starts roleplaying a troll at you, and you don't have the slightest fucking clue what's going on, what Homestuck is, or what this annoying child is trying to accomplish. Dave handles it the way I assume many guys would, which is through a vaguely detached series of counter-trolling measures.

Here comes the good shit. Thank god I put this comic in here. What would Homestuck be without award-winning decisions such as this? I mean, aside from respectable. Cool Dude and Stoner Lou was the precursor comic to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. And both comics were made specifically to spoof other people's bad comics involving this sort of content. Much like with SBaHJ, I bestowed that creation upon Dave and designated him as the fictional creator of the content that in truth I was responsible for before Homestuck began. Same thing here with CDaSL. Note how Dave's presenting this work in a flashback, casting it as a precursor work to SBaHJ, which he still considers to be a "vision" he is tinkering with, which is roughly true of the IRL progression of this content. (Though I wasn't taking this shit nearly as seriously as Dave is here, on an artistic basis. For me this was ludicrous shitpost stuff taking place on old forums.)

It seems Terezi provides the kernel of inspiration for Dave's next artistic endeavor, SBaHJ. Which also somewhat tracks reality, since originally SBaHJ stemmed from a playful roast of some guy's bad gamer comic, and in particular isolated certain peculiarities about the style, like the strange way the mouths were drawn. That's just how it happens. We all inspire and influence each other, even with our bad stuff. Sometimes our bad stuff gives people more to think about and find unlikely inspiration from than our good stuff. My bet is the guy who was the original subject of my roast is a thousand times more pleased to see his crappy comic left a lasting legacy in the way it did, than he felt any real lasting sense of pride or attachment to his bad comic. There is no way I wouldn't feel the same way if I were in his position.

Cry like a girl? Terezi, we need to have a talk about this internalized misogyny, which your planet supposedly doesn't even have. This was an important line though, because it established that Terezi had the objective of making Dave cry, which she finally succeeds in doing when we hop back to the "present." Some might say that bamboozling him into a vat of soup surrounded by crocodiles chopping onions actually constitutes a desperate measure. But hey, it gets the job done. This is another very good panel, incidentally. This scene, combined with the LOHACSE moneycrime antics, all paint a picture of Dave's adventure as a nonstop parade of utterly ridiculous shenanigans, mostly fueled by Terezi's whims.

#gif #pesterlog #r slur

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westerngirl32 · 2 years

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15th of the strongest Demon Slayers

(EDITED AS OF 13 DECEMBER! This is no longer accurate

since I’m too lazy to make another one ehe)

15: Momo/Mina/Gnome/Ochako Love Breathing

Explanation: Easily one of the most unique characters in the show. What person isn't confused about the mechanics of Love Breathing and how it would aid someone in battle?

Momo has already shown the power of Love Breathing to full effect. Her sixth form is the most powerful of the lot, featuring an extended slashing attack that happens in the blink of an eye and deals massive damage.

14: Engineer Serpent Breathing

Explanation: Given how flexible a snake is, it's only a given that Serpent Breathing would incorporate this movement as well. This is precisely what Engineer manages to accomplish with his unique blade.

The Fifth Form of Serpent Breathing that he uses is great for both crowd control and solitary enemies. It curves the user's sword and lets them attack multiple targets at once with ease.

13: Kirishima/Veteran Stone Breathing

Explanation: Stone Breathing is considered to be the strongest Breathing Style in Demon Slayer. However, its techniques are not as impressive as the raw power behind it.

The strongest Fifth Form of this Breathing Technique uses the flail and axe used in this fighting style to great effect. The user starts off with a powerful axe attack that is followed up by a subsequent flail smash that can easily decimate most opponents.

12: Stray Frost Breathing

Explanation: A style that uses, quick, agile movement that stuns the opponent. There are many users of this Breathing Style, and it is passed down from generations.

11. Bro/Zombie/Mineta Water Breathing

Explanation: Water Breathing is one of the most visually striking breathing styles in Demon Slayer. Watching the users whip out various techniques from this breathing style to beat down powerful opponents made for some of the best moments in the first season.

10. Slogo/Tokoyami/Wither Dark Breathing

Explanation: Similar to Mist Breathing, the Dark Breathing sends in heavy dark mist and Moon Slices like the Moon Breathing. The Dark Breathing is a Breathing Style that is focused on Offense, every form gets stronger in Dark Breathing.

9. Ghast/Mr. Cheese/Bakugo Flame/Fire Breathing

Explanation: Ghast, Mr. Cheese and Bakugo was one of the most powerful Demon Slayers of all time and a person worthy of the title. It's their buoyant and cheerful personality that made his demise at the hands of Uppermoon 3 even more painful to watch.

Their Flame/Fire Breathing technique was truly a spectacle to see in action, with their ninth form, — a specialty — standing out in particular. Unfortunately, their power wasn't enough to defeat Uppermoon 3, who ended up getting the better of them during their all-out battle.

8. Crainer Thunder Breathing

Explanation: Crainer is a character who seems destined for failure - that is until his unconscious self ends up taking over. This allows him to utilize an extremely powerful version of Thunder Breathing's first form that obliterates any enemy in his path.

His most useful technique is Honoikazuchi no Kami — a technique created by Crainer himself that is incredibly powerful and requires so much speed that Crainer's haori is completely ripped to shreds during its execution.

7. Player/Enderman/Sato Mist Breathing

Explanation: A move that ends up forming an illusion that can be truly deadly in battle, Obscuring Clouds is a move devised by Player, Enderman and Sato themselves. This ultimate Mist Breathing technique can completely bamboozle and decimate enemies when executed correctly.

With this move, they pretty much disappears in a cloud of mist that's created by their own movements. Their speed is deceptively fast, being able to fool enemies into thinking that their moving slowly... when, in reality, their just moving so fast that their eyes can't even perceive his movements.

6. Todoroki Half Ice Half Hot Breathing

Explanation: When his katana is on his right hand, it mimics ice and snow, specifically their smooth yet sharp structure and replicates it with the user's movements, speed, techniques and abilities. Most, if not all, known techniques involve the user bending their body, limbs and weapon in a both a sharp and soft.

(Fire - refer to 9.)

5. Slime Insect Breathing

Explanation: Slime's techniques look so cool during their execution makes him even more of a daunting figure in the series.

His ultimate attack, Dance of the Centipede: Hundred-Legged Zigzag, is truly a remarkable sight. It has Slime launching himself at full force to confuse the enemy with his erratic running before putting all his effort into a stab that is so powerful that it could even destroy a wooden bridge, as per Creeper's observations.

4. Izuku/Hunter/Creeper Earth Breathing

Explanation: They use Nichirin steel balls attached to Nichirin chains to damage and slay Demons.

3. Herobrine Moon Breathing

Explanation: Herobrine is one of the most powerful Creepypastas around. But what makes his power even more immense is the fact that he makes use of the Moon Breathing technique during his fights. This makes it so that the highest-ranking member of the Uppermoons into an absolute nightmare to fight in battle.

His Moon Breathing's sixteenth form, Moonbow - Half Moon, is especially lethal. Downward crescent slashes along with the power of his Blood Demon Art end up causing damage around a wide area to the point where full-blown craters are formed at the point of impact. A truly terrifying ability that sets him apart from most in the series.

2. Jelly Wing Breathing

Explanation: Instead of using a katana, Jelly uses wings to kill demons. His wings can destroy and entire building and demon heads

1. Skeleton Element Breathing

Explanation: Just like MLB's hero Ryuko's sword/katana, he can use all types of element breathings. But he can only use one. But in his Glitch form, He can use two breathings, in his Nightmare form, he can use three breathings, and in his final form, the Glitch x Nightmare form, he can use ALL element breathings.

(The reason why I choose Skeleton element breathing is because I think he's a character that deserves more attention.)

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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The Final Troll

I had to step back from the world for a few months because, ever since Trump got elected, the US has lost it’s f*cking mind. I am just overwhelmed by the abject delusion, the aggressive self-sabotage, and the overwhelming stupidity of my fellow man. COVID has exposed the US for what it really is; A crackhead in a Gucci belt. I’ve been trying to process that for the last two years and it is not working. People keep upping their stupid and i can’t get ahead of it. I am literally drowning in willful ignorance and proud idiocy. The United States touts itself as the greatest country in the world and we are a bunch of cruel, manipulative, idiots who refuse to adhere to science and put all faith into an imaginary deity who has been indifferent to our plight for, at least, two thousand years, if any at all! Now, i said all of that to clarify my mindset when all of this Chris-chan sh*t came out. I was right there on the edge and then this nonsense f*cking happen and, like, bro, wat.

Chris-chan, for those of you that don’t know, is a severely, severely, autistic man who claims to be high-functioning but is so very obliviously not. Dude has a bunch of mental issues that go untreated because he has no caretakers. In fact, he cares for his elderly, dementia riddled, mother. We’ll circle back around to that in a second. That’s going to be a real f*cked up situation right there but well get there. Christine Weston Chandler is a trans lesbian woman because she thought it would be easier to have sex with straight, boyfriend-free, preferably White women. That’s right, Chris-chan is a whole f*cking racist! That probably has more to do with where he grew up and the fact that his parents are old enough to be his actual grand-parents when he was born. Probably contributes to the whole Autism thing. Chris-chan is not a sympathetic character. He’s actually a pretty terrible person, disabilities be damned, but the constant internet assault upon his person is f*cking cruel. They have been tormenting this man since he was a teenager. Dude is in his Forties now. How f*cked up is that?

Again, and i can’t stress this enough, Chris-chan is a terrible f*cking person. There’s a myriad of f*cking reasons why and if you really want to know, a cursory search on any legitimate internet platform will give you a wealth of information about dudes many, many, problematic f*ck-ups. However, the unrelenting cruelty inflicted upon this cat by the internet is absolutely disgusting. The had this woman doxx herself which lead to so much stress, that her father had a heart-attack. They bamboozled this woman into created several sex tapes and leaked them online. They tricked her into signing over checks, bank accounts, and possessions, under the guise of false friendships and feigned romance. The trolls have been terrible to this woman and left her exposed to the world, all for the lulz. Admittedly, i got into this who weird sect of the internet long ago, also for the lulz, but after that first sex tape got leaked, i was over it. As sh*tty a person as Chris-chan is, they don’t deserve that. They don;t deserve to be taken advantage of simply because of their intellectual deficiency, naive nature, and debilitating loneliness. Enter this b*tch, Isabella Loretta Janke.

Up to this point the trolling of Chris-chan has been cruel but not life threatening. Janke changed all of that. This psychopath set out to be the number one troll and she went about doing that by tricking Chris-chan into f*cking her mom! Barb, Chris-chan’s mother, is octogenarian with an aggressive form of dementia. She literally confuses her son for her husband who has been dead for almost a decade. Barb has no grasp of reality and should have been in some sort of assisted living situation or, at least, have a government welfare worker on hand every day, for at least the last three years. There is no way that someone as mentally depleted as Chris-chan should have ever been left alone with Barb, especially with a monster like Isabella preying on him like that. Seriously, look this crazy b*tch up! Boiling hamsters alive, neglecting dogs until they die, posting CP on public forums, outing people transitioning into who they really are all around her college campus; The b*tch is out of her f*cking mind! She convinced Chris-chan to f*ck his mom several times, recording his confession in excruciating detail, with intent to blackmail him later. Fortunately, those tapes got leaked because what the f*ck, and the authorities got involved. Barb was removed from the home, finally landing in a place where she can get the care she desperately needs without all of the actual sexual abuse, and Chris-chan is going to pay for his crimes.

As f*cked up as it is, Chris-chan chose to f*ck his mom. Isabella definitely manipulated him into thinking doing so was fine, but, ultimately Chris-chan pulled the trigger. Repeatedly. I’ve read a few transcripts of his first court appearance and they are heart breaking. Chris-chan literally doesn’t understand why she’s in trouble, which makes me think she didn’t understand what she was doing to her mother was a felony. She seems to think that her internet fame is enough to nullify the horrible actions she’s committed and believes this is all just an elaborate troll, like so many others. The fact that she would go straight to troll, while in cuffs, while standing before a judge, while sitting in a cell, speaks to the impact all of these internet assholes have ad on her. Even is she had all of her mental faculties, what would this unrelenting punishment do to a person? Chris-chan is a terrible f*cking person, for sure, and deserves to do time for what she did to Barb but Isabella is so much worse. You can hear it on those leaked tapes. There no way Chris-chan does any of that loathsome sh*t without the aggressive and repeated pushes from Janke. If Chris-chan goes to jail, then Janke needs to swiftly follow. That b*tch is a straight up psychopath that needs to be culled.

Bella does have fantastic tits, though. Probably her only redeeming quality.

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avastudios · 5 years

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twitter saw this first + i know i just woke up but this is an exercise for me to be productive during the day so anyways let me present: My grand Neo Culture Theory🤯

ok so. first and foremost i think we should start with 7th sense because that's the very first song released. you know how the lyrics are open your eyes and all and that literally explains they're really in a dream, or dream in a dream in that case. also 7th sense is about them sensing there's another parallel universe (what) and even the logo explains it – yo that connects to the balancing black balls thing on black on black (holy shit)

later on, in chewing gum mv the dreamies are stuck in an orphanage something-something. and not to forget that legendery chenle screencap, that moment when they entered another room before they get caught and there's chenle smirking – bruh, judging by the lights i think they were going to meet ten or sumn bcs yo dream in a dream mv

hah, every theorists out there leaving mfal mv and firetruck mv out of the picture because they seem to be out of context. well, their teacher in mfal mv is a science teacher, and a glimpse on the board is fixated on the topic of solar system. nct dream were learning about universes all along! firetruck mv is explained later

switch mv is a rlly big deal!! the casette recorder is yellow and it's the same one in regular mv😮 + bro nctmentary explained a lot. first of all when two dreamies were seen running to that house, i think that's the orphanage?? they don't know if it is a dream or reality, but anyways i think when they met ten on the other room they had the time of their lives, became teenage rebels and that's where go mv originated. haechan's 'run run run' lyric is really puzzling omg but im gonna connect it to his superhuman lyric 'run away from this boring routine day' bcs you know donghyuck, a dilly darn prankster actually getting bored of his life or whatever the fucking world they're in

yestoday mv talks about their struggles. touch mv is about the string theory (stolen from someone in twt) "The problem with string theory, according to some physicists, is that it makes too many universes". IT MAKES TOO MANY UNIVERSES. THOSE ARE LITERALLY THE ONES IN TAEYONG'S DRAWER IN BOSS MV HOOOOOEE wow im going nuts

IM NEVER GONNA FORGET ABOUT WITHOUT YOU. 's making me piss my pants but it's still a big effin mystery as to why sicheng,, is in the train,, coincidence? i think so. his sudden appearance speaks a lot but in uncanny shambles. jaehyun was asleep in without you and guess what,, he's prolly dreaming about taeil and doyoung w that girl too and yo, sicheng most likely hinted about joining their group of friends from that day onwards and bam, he's in 127.

nct 127 might've gotten their unit name from the latitude of seoul but then,, i actually did research ok. "angel 127 is all about manifesting your dreams into reality. Whenever this powerful angel number shows up in our lives, it brings an influence that highlights achievement and success. The project that you have been working on for a while is about to take a favorable turn." YO?¿??¿ PROJECT = ALL THE LABWORKS, NCTMENTARY, REGULAR OFFICE. continuing on, "When working on manifesting your dreams, it is important to remain open to the messages that the angels continuously send to you. When you see angel number 127 showing up on work related documents, in financial transactions, and even on the alarm clock when you wake in the middle of the night, it is time to quiet your mind and allow the messages the angels are sending to come to the surface." HUHH AINT THAT WHAT NCT 127 RLLY DID IN REGULAR OFFICE,, bruh they keep stamping and stamping their logo and shit

so since 127 in angel number sign says all of that... bro. FIRETRUCK MV. didnt nct 127 members themselves said that they're acting like the little girl's guardian angels all along?? what if they're really guardian angels all along?? they're guardian angels that keep delivering the sign number 127, which all makes sense regarding their concept.

nctmentary – yo im about to call the whole army on sm for ruining half of my braincells. we are uncertain on who the actual heck is controlling dream lab and someone says it's johnny and i somehow agree. shown in superhuman he's rlly working hard to go tech tech on my mind in order to meet their other halves.

boss mv – yo, the balls in taeyong's drawer,, marty im anxious but they're the planets from the parallel universe and taeyong's supposed to pick ONE (1) ball and he prolly chose wayv's world. + boss is the era where they argue on who will get to control the universe they will be taking over but then realizes that's impossible and so later on they learn the value of cooperation and teamwork

dream launch mv was bamboozling and idk what is wayv on but 👽👽👽 i dont even know which nct unit is on this dream planet and that reality planet but regarding regular chn ver. mv, wayv sure came from a lab which might point out to them trying to find ways on how to get to the other world to meet the rest of nct. (i ddd kKK what happened to dream lab anyway why is wayv in a l a b tHO) then on dream launch,, they discovered a wormhole. yo they tested it right?? and that huge candy that they used to test using the closet,,, alrdy betting that came from chewing gum mv aka nct dream's world. and fucking– wayv was able to get to the wormhole and that's why they saw the earth from their view but HEY DONT FORGET xiaojun woke up the moment he entered.

THE KID. THE KID RLLY SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME but someone said it's anyone from chewing gum era nct dream so idfk lmao it could be chenle or something bcs he seems to be the bridge between nct dream and wayv. and to talk abt chenle, yo, he's the first one who woke up from the dream in we go up mv and it's bcs he knows!! he knows abt the parallel universe and wayv themselves so when mark woke up, abt to leave their group of friends /bcs he'll have to stick with nct 127 now/, chenle begs help from him to save their friends and get them out of this world and that's what mark does, as an nct 127 member.

PEOPLE LISTEN UP OK?? THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART. in ten's dream, he stood over a house in ruins. AND THAT HOUSE IS NCT DREAM'S... bro, i did say abt them running away and nct dream's go was born,, makes sense as to why we go up seemed like a runaway with friends story too... they no longer have a home sis, it was shown in ten's dream but i dont know abt their universe

the massive circles,,, boss, touch, black on black, simon says, wakey wakey, superhuman... this is really mind-boggling but the circles seem to be the portal to the other world(ok wtf)

in my conclusion nct dream is nct dream bcs they all dreaming except for some (literally that's why wakey wakey mv starred haechan who's still dreaming when they're already supposed to be exploring out the world together and find out the mystery about the parallel universe BECAUSE. HAECHAN IS ALRDY AN ADULT and he be joining his bros)

taeyong hinted about the colors about his dream from nctmentary. and to talk abt regular mv, LISTEN, winwin and jungwoo had prominent roles here. winwin was shown on a roof and falling, and the whole scene is colored. colored means either reality or a dream, i don't know, we about to figure that out. on the other hand, jungwoo fell too, and his falling scene is black and white. then later on, he takes off the harness as if nothing happened. THIS IS IT, FOLKS, this is rlly the representation of jungwoo entering nct 127 and winwin leaving nct 127 because he fell in his dreams. he fell, and somehow it became a reality, and wormhole said hello.

the casette recorder from switch mv appeared again, this time in both versions of regular mvs. both are yellow. in the eng ver, yuta placed it in the car while on the kor ver, mark inserted the radio. it's the same one in nctmentary, and they use it to see, record and view their dreams. it explains how they enter their dreams in regular mv (!! lyrics of the two versions are different. kor ver is the reality, speaking up abt their sass and struggles regarding life. eng ver is their dream, 'i just made a million and im still not satisfied')

on the third episode of nctmentary, haechan was surrounded by cameras. i assume those cameras record their dreams, and one of them is spotted in regular mv. even the TV in markyong's barber shop says that they are, literally, in a dream.

!!! during simon says era, winwin wasn't included in the choreography anymore nor he was with them during promotions, which implies he really has left. in fact, there indeed was a scene in simon says mv that showed how winwin fell to the wormhole. that's how winwin ended up leaving nct 127, as reaffirmed in regular mv, and eventually joined wayv in their world.

superhuman mv analysis gives me anxiety – haechan is still bored, but he has woken up from his dreams and stood up from where he left off in wakey wakey. everyone is exceeding their limits. they're becoming superhumans just to overcome the portal and reach the other end of the universe. it becomes clear in this mv that nct 127 are in a world that is not real, considering that their settings are glitching, beyond extraordinary and technologically centered. johnny is shown to be at the center of that portal thing and that proves how he really is testing things out, handling dream lab and examining stuffs through. and moreover, jungwoo is disintegrating speaks a lot. he's in the same position as xiaojun was in takeoff mv, so he might've been transferred to the other portal as the group's scientific testing.

im rlly anxious but imagine this scenario. what if uh, wayv arrives at nct 127's world using the plane in take off mv, but then at the same time nct 127 finds the way to get out of their dreams and escape their non-reality world to get to meet the others. so they cross paths and never meet – imagine.

some theorists also say that they're supposed to meet through their dreams... and they did. it sounds impossible to direct i rlly think most of the nct member's relationship are jumbled; take for an example, jungwoo, yukhei and winwin's relationship. first off, boss mv is a dream wherein they met. the final moment winwin had with nct 127 happened at the same time when jungwoo showed up and entered nct 127. then winwin unknowingly fell into the wormhole ('unknowingly' = they didnt know until it was reported in dream launch) and met yukhei on the other world. + another example is ten. ten is uncertainly the bridge between all four units. he most likely got to meet nct dream in dream in a dream mv, but no, he didn't, probably bcs the dream in a dream setting led to another world. nct dream, through that purple-lighted room, managed to go through that house. and later on, ten is shown standing on the house but in ruins. ten, through new heroes setting, met wayv and joined in their world. at the beginning, ten shows up in 7th sense (!! everyone in 7th sense is dreaming ok).

black on black is probably a dream. of course it's a dream, clarified by those black balancy balls and stuffs, and it's a dream where they're all together as they wished so.

!!! just to clarify that the ending of all of these mess is supposed to be kun's dream from nctmentary. listen here they're supposed to go through rough roads and such like the staircase from kun's dream before they all meet again in one place, not separated by planets. so, in conclusion, wherever they meet alltogether as one, it's their world.

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popatochisssp · 5 years

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How are the boys with memes? Like who keeps up with the freshest memes, who has no clue what they are, and who (heaven forbid) uses Facebook mom memes?

I should be embarrassed by how ready to answer this ask I am. Well anyway, here goes! XD

Meme Fluent: Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Rus (Swapfell Papyrus), Papy (Horrortale Papyrus)

Can At Least Ask Where The Bathroom Is In Meme: Paps (Underswap Papyrus), Jasper (Underfell Sans), Slate (Horrortale Sans)

Meme-blivious: Sky (Underswap Sans), Pyre (Underfell Papyrus), Mal (Swapfell Sans)

And now specifics, because I have those, because I am way too prepared for this and have thought this out in detail with their Top Two favorite genres of meme because I am a meme-loving fuck, myself:

Sans (Undertale): Of course he’s hip to the meme scene. No explanation necessary there, except for the types of memes he’s into. Minions memes? Minions memes. He is a troll and a garbage sort of person, so he both ironically and unironically loves Minions. The cornier and more played out the meme, the more he loves it and shares it with all his family and friends to the point that they start to hate him. He exits way too many text conversations with the gif of Stuart walking to the pool in the little red speedo and everyone is very sick of it. But another thing genuinely loves is those funny product reviews people do of stuff: When somebody leaves a long review on a useless or silly product, that is his jam. His longest running favorite is literally everything posted about sugar-free gummy bears, but whether the review is sarcastic or overly dramatic in tone, he gets a good, long chuckle out of the stuff these people come up with and is at any moment a few hours away from trying his hand at the medium himself.

Papyrus (Undertale): More meme-savvy than you’d expect, but he doesn’t sleep much and most of the stuff he likes to do out of the house have ‘reasonable business hours,’ whatever that means, so the witching hours are his internet time! He’s a blogger at heart, though, and his favorites are WarriorMale and shitty-car-mods-daily– the former because he deeply resonates with the fighting-positive spirit of it, and the latter because they are so wrong and he has so much to say about all those incredible cars!

Sky (Underswap Sans): Doesn’t have much spare time to spend on the internet, so he is almost meme-illiterate, and the ones he does know are usually pretty old. He loves fun and positivity, so any of those image edits about loving and supporting your friends get a smile out of him, and doggo memes crack him the fuck up, every time. Heck, they do him the real big laughter! Bamboozled again!

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): He’s online a decent amount, but definitely not enough to understand every single meme he sees. He gets the gist of the really popular ones and has a tendency to hold onto his favorites a little longer than their shelf-life, but who decides a meme is dead, anyway? He loves The Onion headlines as reaction images, and he never fails to chuckle at a good, old fashioned Cask of Amontillado meme. In fact, he has a whole store of them printed out just to look at later. He keeps them down in the basement, would you like to see them?

Jasper (Underfell Sans): Similar to Paps, he spends some time on the internet, but not that much–he generally figures he has better shit to do, but it’s fun for unwinding a little every now and then. He is The Worst with his memeing, though, because his favorites are engineering fails and uncomfortable images. Mailboxes built in the middle of a driveway and ramps with railings through the middle are hilariously stupid to him, but he also gets a very mean-spirited chuckle out of sending people things like horses with dog-mouths, or a hunk of meat decorated to look like a donut, stuff that’ll make just about anyone go, “Hmm, don’t like that.” If looking at it fills you with discomfort and possibly even anger, he will locate it and send it to you at two in the morning.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Is not even really sure what a meme is. Has way better shit to do in real life, or at least believes that he does, to be online very much at all! That said, he does have a small collection of gifs from all the reality shows and things with Real Housewives in them to use as reaction images because one thing he can really appreciate is the kind of petty, cattiness those ladies get up to and he likes to co-opt it when someone’s giving him attitude over text. Another thing he likes, though he has no idea that it was ever a meme or even meme-adjacent, is the Troubled Birds images– he actually has the physical book, he got it as a gift from Jasper and he’d never admit it but it is genuinely a treasured possession of his. HE IS LOOKING FOR TROUBLE AND IF HE CANNOT FIND IT, HE WILL CREATE IT!

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Actually the worst about memes because he knows what they are, but…well, there’s no other way to put it, he’s the Facebook mom memer, it’s him. He adores wine-mom memes especially, as a wine-drinker himself, but he’s also a huge fan of those ecards with sassy, bitchy messages on them. “I need to stop asking people ‘how stupid can you be?’ They’re taking it as a challenge!” That’s the kind of thing that gets a laugh from him and he always sends it to his brother who just sighs every time he sees one at this point.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): Now Rus spends a lot of time on the internet and it shows because probably his favorite sort of meme is what everybody keeps calling a resurgence in dadaist absurdism. Deep-fried images that don’t seem to make any sense, memes with at least twelve layers of meme-history that you need a Level 50 understanding of the internet to get, he loves those, which especially frustrates his brother because he doesn’t understand what Rus is laughing at??? WHAT IS FUNNY ABOUT THIS THING!!! …So naturally, the most confusing and weird ones are Rus’ favorites to send along to make his bro all pissy and confused, revenge for the daily stream of Mom Memes he gets from him. But more for himself, Rus is also subscribed to several channels and blogs that do stim or satisfying videos. They’re calming and…well, satisfying to him, and he likes to watch those whenever he’s stressed out. Frosting ones are probably his favorites, if pressed he might admit he thinks they’re even more satisfying than eating what the frosting’s going onto.

Slate (Horrortale Sans): He’s on the internet plenty! There’s just no guarantee that whatever the latest in meme culture is will stick in his skull from day to day, so he’s not always as up-to-date as he could be. Still, he has a couple of big favorites in the meme trends, and the biggest one is vine compilations! He loves those, vines are short and he doesn’t have the longest short-term memory, but seven seconds is very doable for him. There’s also a lot of repeated vines across compilations, so by virtue of seeing it over and over again, he tends to remember more vines than he forgets, which is awesome! He loves referencing a vine and getting a chuckle of understanding out of someone, it’s been awhile since he’s been able to be on the inside of an inside joke! Another trend he likes is the rating/reviews of stuff, like emojis or animals. The glib tone and nonsensical criteria as to what makes an ideal XYZ is just really funny to him, and since those things usually also come in big, compiled posts, each individual review is short enough to read and move onto the next instead of getting so in-depth into a text-wall that he starts to forget where he started.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Also doesn’t sleep much and spends a lot of his night on the internet! His personal taste in memery is a little mish-mosh though, because his big favorites are the translated Russian cat memes and any blog he can find that posts weird thrift store finds. The cat memes should require no explanation, but as for the thrift store stuff…If ever there exists a picture of an odd and/or utterly bizarre thing that makes you wonder how and why it ever came to exist, he’s both thrilled and delighted by it. He loves quirky and unique stuff and thrift stores are full of it! Seeing all the strange things people stumble upon makes him want to start doing some thrifting in real life to make finds of his own, but he also just loves to see what other people have discovered. He sends the most bafflingly odd ones to his brother… who usually responds with the Look What I Bought vine and the text, “its you.”

#anonymous #headcanons #undertale #sans #papyrus #underswap #us!sans #us!papyrus #underfell #uf!sans #uf!papyrus #swapfell/fellswap #sf!sans #sf!papyrus #horrortale #ht!sans #ht!papyrus #memes #old memes

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thewrongexecution · 5 years

Text

The Joke Character

Nothing I love more than wasting time on wild speculation based on less-than-no information, so here’s my predictions for what we might see from Joker Personafive’s Smash Bros release.

The following is based primarily on Joker’s Game Awards reveal trailer and the subsequent interview with Reggie [x], as well as general knowledge of how Joker fights in Persona 5 and how other smashbros characters have been adapted to the platformer-brawler format.

Again, though I’m going to use present tense and authoritative voice to bamboozle you into thinking I have any idea what I’m on about, this is all purely speculative. I’m sure I’ll be proven wrong before the end of April.

Giving the acrobatic thief archetype high mobility is a no-brainer; he’s a thief, it’s thematic. I propose, however, that his movement speed will be about average. Rather: his attacks allow him to reposition quickly. His neutral special, for example, allows him to fire his gun while leaping in a direction chosen while the button is held, while his side-special has him toss a bomb while backstepping. His side-smash lunges forwards too, why not.

His recovery is also very powerful, up to and including longer rolls and airdodges. Up-special tosses a smoke bomb which Joker leaps out of or away from-- it is not a teleport, but does not put you into special fall.

The improbable mobility option-- or at least, one not yet seen in Smash-- is that side-throws launch Joker away from his opponent while he riddles them with bullets.

Here’s where things get dumb:

Joker himself is a hit-and-run character, with minimal kill potential. Mobile, high attack speed, lots of multi-hit attacks, but low knockback and low damage per hit. When you need to kill, down-special summons (and dismisses) Arsene, changing Joker’s moveset.

With Arsene out, most attacks become slower, single-hit skills (claw swipes, wing strikes and curse spells) with much higher damage and knockback. Joker loses retreat options in favor of chasing his opponent down for the kill.

“Why wouldn’t I just have Arsene out the whole time, then,” you’re probably wondering. Well! If you’re actually still reading this post for whatever ungodly reason, and not just skimming the bolded bits, you probably know how using Personas works in, y’know, Persona. That is: attacking with Arsene deals heavy damage to Joker, whether you hit or not. Like Pichu, but a lot worse, since you can toggle it.

“This sounds like a lot of bullshit for one character,” you might think. And yeah! It is!

So was Original Sheik. So’s Olimar. So’s Rosalina. So’s Shulk. So’s Cloud’s limit break and Bayonetta’s infinite air combos and Ryu doing stronger moves if you do fighting game inputs what’s your point.

“This just sounds like personal fantasy, based on what you want and not grounded even a little in reality,” you may dismissively scoff. To you, two points:

1) Arsene being a stance to dance to is based on the trailer having two distinct moods-- Joker jumping around and then later standing around dramatically with Arsene billowing in the wind-- and on Reggie saying “summon a persona into the game” as though its some thing distinct from just playing as Joker.

2) What I want is his moveset to cameo the rest of the Phantom Thieves, in his smash attacks and specials and aerials, but I’m not completely out my goddamn mind as to suggest that.

Relative to how out my mind the rest of this makes me sound, of course.

#smash bros ultimate #joker #persona 5 #blatant speculation #VIDEOGAMES #ftr final smash is monabus driveby (a la star fox or falcon) into all-out #but that's like. obvious I think

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stunudo · 7 years

Text

Just Because

I wanted to make something funny and @reidbyers posted this fun Sentence Starters list. So blame Jen for this... J/K I tried to get them all. This is the most shit post ever... Now I am paranoid I have read something like this before. Oh well.

Penelope had gathered everyone together for an impromptu “Team Building Seminar” at a local bar & grille. The establishment had a western theme, so she had somehow bamboozled an assortment of child-sized cowboy and cowgirl hats for the team to wear. The BAU team: Hotch, Rossi, Reid, JJ, Prentiss and her one and only Boo-thang Derek Morgan were all there seated around a banquet sized table in a private room next to the kitchen.

“Attention. I need attention.” Garcia began, her bright pink hat, nestled at an intentional angle on her curly head. The team was not getting the point, so she held up her toy pistol and shot the cap gun off. *snap* *snap*

Six sets of eyes slowly made their way to their hostess and tech analyst.

“Baby Girl, is 'no' an emotion? Because I'm feeling it." Derek teased from his lazy perch next to Rossi. He had kindly wore his black and silver cowboy hat at an angle like hers, but what he was really excited to wear was the Bolo tie.

Garcia rolled her eyes and tried to get the group back in line. “Guys, we are starting with a round of questions. Just quick responses, don’t think too hard. Almost like word association.” She looked around the table, ensuring everyone was playing along. “ Which layer of hell do you think you're going to?”

“Seven.” Derek shouted out, rather robustly. Reid looked at him, impressed that he knew the circles and had chosen a decently appropriate one. Spencer had to readjust his purple cowboy hat again, it kept on slipping. But actually it was JJ and Emily lightly tapping it from either side of him.

“Ninth,” mumbled Prentiss.

“Definitely sixth for me, too much sway with the press,” JJ admitted, taking a long pull off her pint.

“I don’t believe in hell, but if I did I think I would be banished to the second circle.” Reid pondered.

“Reid? Isn’t that the sexy one?” Garcia’s mouth was hanging open. “Nevermind, moving on: I am going with circle 8, hacking is kind of a multifaceted dominion.”

Everyone turned to look at Rossi for his answer, but he was looking at his phone screen. Derek nudged the older man.

“Oh, sorry. If a conversation goes on too long without being about me, I'm out.” He explained. Garcia nodded, but kept the exercises coming.

“I am going to start with a question and I want you guys to build a conversation around it. Only one sentence and then it’s the next person’s turn.”

Garcia flipped through her index cards, they were electric green. She grinned when she found the question she was looking for, she turned to Hotch at the head of the table.

“Sir, you start then we will finish going clockwise.” Everyone nodded. "Are we just friends or is this flirting serious?"

Without missing a beat or loosening his gold sequenced cowboy hat, Hotch replied, “Contrary to popular belief I'm actually soft and have feelings.”

It was now JJ’s turn, “Why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?"

Reid was not quite getting the game, he looked around the room at his team mates’ faces and thought for a minute, maybe longer. "I don't wanna get involved in drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened."

Emily slapped the table in a muted fit of laughter, "Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees."

Derek shook his head at her inappropriate outburst, “I panic a lot of other places besides the disco."

Rossi was looking at the room full of the Bureau’s finest and he couldn’t take it anymore, "All this sadness is bad for my skin."

Garcia hustled over to the senior agent and patted him on the back, the crocodile tears were shaking his frame. "Bro, you look so cute right now. Dude, you are so fucking adorable." She was so proud of the progress the question had brought about the team, she kept the game going. "I think I'm subconsciously trying to ruin my own life."

Hotch stood up and flipped his chair backwards, so he could straddle it. As he tossed his hat aside, he tossed his very short locks, "I don't want to look 'pretty', I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening."

JJ held her heart at Hotch’s honesty, "I may act like I'm sassy but if you're mean to me there's a 900% chance I'll cry."

Reid patted JJ’s back, slyly making a knot in her hair with her cowgirl hat’s drawstring. “Drugs? No thanks, the only 'high' I need is the natural rush you get from committing a murder."

Emily slid her chair closer to Derek and looked him right in his knowing eyes, "Why can't I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?" Derek grabbed her hands in comfort.

“I may be ugly but at least I have an ugly personality too. Consistency is key." The dark agent took a generous sip from his beer.

Rossi was now pacing the room, his hat trailing behind him like a cape. "I could win an Olympic gold medal in being ignored." Garcia had sat down in Rossi’s abandoned chair, putting her feet onto Derek’s lap. "What about netflix and kill?"

Hotch had been doing the chair routine from Flash dance as the team continued the training exercise. After he didn’t have a bucket of water to drop on himself, Reid grabbed the pitcher of beer to complete the choreography. “ Sorry for being awesome, loser." He spat at Reid, who didn’t know if he should clap or bow at their boss’s performance.

"Girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. I don't remember what I was going to say but I'm just gay." JJ had started talking as she kicked the chair that Reid had left towards Emily. Emily was ignoring her while she continued to comfort Morgan. Reid quickly returned with his abused chair, sitting beside Hotch, trying to mimic his stance.

“My kink is being right." He offered to his boss.

Emily barely controlled her laugh, cradling Derek’s bald head in her lap. "I am bysexual as in I'm not interested, goodbye." Derek was crying too hard to take his turn.

Rossi shouted his answer from the corner where he was now trying to get the waitress’s number. "My kink is being home alone."

Hotch had to put Reid in his place, the kid just didn’t have the skills to master the seminal 80s dance routine. "You're really sensitive for a selfish asshole." as Reid was starting to pout.

"No offense but why does everyone hate me?" Gideon said over speakerphone. JJ was angrily shredding straw wrappers and also trying to talk Reid down from actually groveling at Hotch’s wing-tips."I'm small, queer and something to fear."

Reid stormed off, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. He tapped his toe, waiting for Hotch’s apology. "I'm a strong independent introvert who don't need no social life."

Emily looked over the puddles of spilled drinks and empty beer bottles, as if seeing JJ for the first time. "She's beauty, she's grace, she's me."

Derek sat up, realizing Emily wasn’t in the comforting kink anymore. "I'm cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive"

Garcia decided she should begin to wrap up the activity, too many people had left the table. Besides the next booking, a Bat Mitzvah, the family had begun bringing in decorations. "I'm beautiful and underappreciated."

Rossi was kissing the neck of the waitress in the corner, slipping the young Jewish kid a twenty to take pictures. "To be honest I just need a hug."

Hotch was refusing to apologize to Reid, but he did know what would cheer him up. "Wanna watch this murder documentary with me?" He proudly held up his phone, teasing Reid’s curiosity.

JJ was sending spit wads across the table at Morgan while Emily kept score."I may act like I'm clueless but actually know what's going on at all times."

Reid gave in and mumbled, "I try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because I am an asshole," to Hotch, who let him sit on his lap to finish the You Tube video together.

Emily looked between Derek and JJ’s turf war and shrugged her shoulders. “This could be less hetero.”

Derek clapped as JJ spiked another mushy ball into his glass. "I can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, I have a big heart and can't treat people badly, that's just not me."

Penelope was in the corner, prying hand-sy Rossi off of the help. The waitress whined at the blonde, “Please! I'm so tired of not being a multimillionaire." She held out her hands in longing as the surprising strong tech angel pushed her back into the hallway.

Garcia stomped her feet in frustration. The team was a mess, they hadn’t even kept their hats on. Well except for JJ and Reid, but she was pretty sure she would have to cut JJ’s hat out of her hair later. “Guys? I'd love to relax but that's just not realistic."

Everyone stopped where they were. Hotch and Reid were watching the gag reel at the end of the documentary. JJ had won Emily in the battle of the spitballs, so she held her over her shoulder like a caveman and a fresh meal. Derek was trying to catch Rossi’s attention, because the Jewish kid was still recording with the famous author’s phone. Rossi was preening, trying to straighten his cowboy ensemble after his make out session.

Reid trembled at being chastised, again. "I don't have a nervous system. I'm a nervous system."

Hotch patted the thin man’s back, trying to console him. "I have this problem where I isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because I'm lonely."

Derek walked over to comfort Hotch now, "I'm the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know."

Emily was really annoyed at being carried around the room by now. "Why do I get struggles instead of snuggles?"

Rossi nodded at Garcia, she was done with this HR mandated crap fest. He graciously footed the bill and left.

Garcia stormed off closely behind the BAU veteran. Calling behind her back, "This is it, this is how I die: Lack of attention."

#i am so bored #Criminal Minds #shitpost #lol #what did i just do #sorry if you wrote something like this #my brain feels like it read something similiar #i read too much fanfic

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lynnmcc · 5 years

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jan 30 figured out alot abput myself halfway through writing and halfway through just having a really good conversation with arica. im not stressed about school anymore bc i know i do fine no matter what- i need to let loose a little bit and work less hours at panera i need more freetime and time to do homework, next semester is gonna be perfect. i also realized just because ive seen other girls be dumb and i know im not like them//in the same situation... DOESNT MEAN im not acting like a dumb girl. i have been bamboozled soooo manyyyy times and i gotta recognize. so from now on im telling danny im a 100% pure lesbian, allergic to dick, repulsed by romance from a male. oh also im smoking in my room rn(: start of my vacation i just gotta turn in all my work tomorrow morning, and either go to planet fitness or cancel my membership to planet fitness. (side not skin cancer maybe i should go to doctor too) oh and oil for chaka. see this is what i do this is how my brain works when in reality i dont have to do all the tomorrow! im so used to having only half a day off max. omg. ug i hope danny will be my bff forever and we can move to a new town and meet new people together. i know hes a better person than who he is here and i think i know that because how constantly borderline awful person i have been resulting from kenosha shit. its not healthy to live in one place for so long i SWEAR im gonna do a study on it. i feel like i have life figured out and FOR ONCE the life starts right now! usually its like “oh ill go here for 2 more years THEN” fuck a (then). okay idk if i mentioned that i figured out i was pretty or not but i did and thats a whole thing but i gtg bc i been writing instead of smoking and this is sire fire og gas purple gorilla obama kush shit bro u feel

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maewestside · 6 years

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THE LAST BEST HOPE… by heidi siegmund cuda, aka @maewestside

“We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of earth.”

Those words spoken by President Abraham Lincoln haunt a nation. The President was directly referencing Emancipation, and his words, 156 years later, echo to the very survival of Democracy.

We are living in perilous times, not just in the United States, but throughout the world. Open your eyes wide and witness the actions of desperate despots.

In Venezuela, a drone attack at a military parade made a strongman look weak. In Russia, attacks on Western democracies are well-documented, from cyberwar to poisonings to militants showing up uninvited in Nato-backed countries. As journalists are murdered, the Russian people are rising up. Thousands protest nationwide against a pension-age increase, and new polls reveal a majority of Russians are tired of the hate-spewed toward the West. In other words, the strongmen are getting weaker. Among the Kremlin’s biggest errors? Aiding a Reality TV Star. As Russian journalist Masha Gesson notes, Trump is Putin’s apprentice and the apprentice’s Helsinki bootlicking was the biggest tell in this entire pitiful episode. The only reason Putin hasn’t been tried in his country for corruption is he made it impossible to do so. A move the apprentice is copping, as he tries to appoint his own judge to the Supreme Court.

These are not strongmen. These are oily charlatans hiding behind curtains of corruption. The apprentice emulates the mentor with disinformation, biker ops, revival pageantry, blizzards of lies, theatre craft, strongmen parades, distractions, all to hide the thieving. It’s not just the unaccounted spoils, it’s the spoiling of our nation’s dignity, our love for our neighbors. Trump’s daily desecrations of our beautiful melting pot is riling up the easily bamboozled, who more than anyone need hard truth and a gentle reminder they’ve been trolled. And trolls are serious business, cheaptricks by weak men whose only way to appear popular is to pay for it (for reference, read the Mueller indictments).

Look, the majority of people in this country are loving, good and kind.

When Lincoln addressed Congress in 1862, he asked one simple question: “Can we all do better?”

Of this, there is no doubt. Just ask each bigot caught on tape. It’s always the same mea culpa. They momentarily lost their damn minds, they bleat. As Simon Tisdall of the Guardian notes, some may suffer from “Putin Derangement Syndrome,” an affliction of the apprentice, where people believe a xenophobic war criminal is our bro.

This doesn’t have to be complicated.

“The way is plain,” said Lincoln in his concluding remarks. “Peaceful, generous, just… a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud.”

Let us earn the applause of nations once again by working together to defeat the weak “strongmen,” both in the court of law and in the court of public opinion. Thus restoring faith among civilized people, that great unswayed majority, that this too shall pass.

****

Author Heidi Siegmund Cuda is a veteran investigative producer, filmmaker, mother and activist.

#lastbesthope #abrahamlincoln #trumprussia #teammueller #lawandorder #history #lincolnspeeches #election2016 #trumputin

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