ohhh my god i just realised why i love narumitsu so much, despite the obvious (mutual pining, slow burn, one-sided enemies, to friends, to distant friends, to close friends, to lovers all that good stuff)

its BECAUSE they have a shared emotional journey that is so narratively satisfying to me that as im typing this im barely able to contain my stimming

phoenix defends miles, so convinced he can save him and is almost blinded by that fact because he knows edgeworth as so good and so pure and he totally definitely absolutely would never willingly hurt anybody and then he ghosts him for a year which phoenix obviously interprets as yet another person abandoning him, leaving phoenix to pick up the pieces, and that whole time phoenix is beating himself up because wow this is just like when he put all his love on the line for dahlia and it turns out she was just using him this whole time and the absolute mess of emotions that arises when edgeworth comes back, alive, with no apology whatsoever.

and then two years later phoenix loses his job and edegworth is trying so hard to help and be there for him while also juggling his prosecutor job and the challenges that arise from adjusting to a new justice-driven mindset, but phoenix is already closing himself off and refusing to talk about it because hes stingy and secretive and edgeworth has seen the stingy in passing but never to this extent, where he can tell that phoenix NEEDS someone but apparently that someone isnt going to be him. and he's on call with him one night and he hears trucy for the first time and hes mortified because so many complicated emotions and questions arise from that alone: "wright are you sane" "wright are you seeing someone" "wright why didnt you tell me about this so i could help you" and i do think edgeworth gets overwhelmed by all this at once, the secrecy, the daughter, the friend who visits phoenix every now and again, the lack of healthy communication. and suddenly everything that he thought theyve worked so hard to build together has come crashing down and theres nothing phoenix will let him do to help

and its the shared parallel of the initial proposal to help "let me defend you"/"let me be there for you" being completely rejected and the repeated efforts to do so being met with a sudden shift (prosecutor miles edgeworth chooses death/i have a daughter and a new friend who helps me now) and how its so difficult for the both of them to realise at the time that its for their sake that they're doing it, that neither of them are doing this to hurt the other intentionally (although for phoenix i definitely think theres spite involved, but not to the degree to which edgeworth ends up experiencing what he does emotionally), and the idealisation that gets completely shattered by reality

just. UGH. the full circle that is them, after everything is said and done, finding closure in each other again, however non-linear that journey is, and, this is important, CHOOSING to still stay with the other through anything and everything that comes to pass, and truly SEEING the other behind their professional masks. Seeing them entirely and not just the attractive parts. im rabid.

i’m so confused, how is anyone supposed to believe that house doesn’t have feelings for wilson when he is literally always trying to cause something so that wilson and his partner end up breaking up? Like, i’m on s5 ep5 (halfway through) and house has been spying on wilson relentlessly, and we just found out that wilson is also dating a hooker, and house is telling his private investigator to find out embarrassing things about her to force her to back off.

(my guy isn’t even trying to sound rational, he’s not even saying “to force her to get away from him/ let him go/ move away” he’s on full-on jealously mode)

“find her, find her family, find her client number nine. Just give me something to use to force her to back off”

His words, not mine.

And like wilson said, house is a drug addict and he goes to prostitutes for his own pleasure, so he has no right to be judgemental. And yet he is. But maybe it’s not just that particular woman that he has an issue with, it’s just everyone and anyone wilson dates, marries, hooks up with or is even vaguely interested in. Literally everyone and anyone. He has dated a doctor, nurses, been married to a doctor, a real estate broker, so it’s not like house sees this woman as inferior and that’s why he’s acting this way, because he’s literally treated every single one of wilson’s love interests as such.

House just- he wants wilson all to himself. He’s his only friend, the only person he knows (or at least hopes) actually loves him, the person that truly knows him and yet is still there for him, who has stood by him through everything, who knows all there is to know about house’s fucked-up mindset and ideas and thoughts and whatever, and yet he still stays with him. He can’t let him go.

“I’m not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are” - s5 ep4

They have this codependent and toxic relationship in which, whether they like it or not, they need each other to fill some kind of void inside of themselves. They are all the other has, the are the realest thing the other has. And that’s just…more than a platonic friendship.

Like, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that to diminish the worth and value of platonic relationships, not at all, platonic are be just as important and complex and fierce as romantic relationships, but it just doesn’t fit in their case. They don’t need to shove each other against the wall just to make it absolutely fucking clear that their bond goes beyond friendship, beyond the realm of romance, beyond any and every imaginable, tangible human connection. Their souls have been tied together ever since the very first time they laid eyes on each other, for better or for worse. They are connected on a psychical level.

This probably just made no sense whatsoever and im sorry if this is completely wrong i just thought i’d let out my thoughts before they slip away from me😔 feel free to comment/ repost your own takes!

my rinkydink splat drawings of Him (ft. apprentice number 1)... this shit is so hard to draw on and yet so worth it. yes i know the squid/octo eyeliner is missing i forgot okay

[Image ID 1: A black and white drawing on the splatoon 3 post feature of hershel layton with octoling features holding a finger up and smiling. The caption next to him says "Every puzzle is a fun puzzle!". /.End ID.]

[Image ID 2: A black and white drawing on the splatoon 3 post feature of Hershel Layton and Luke Triton with slight inkling features smiling at the camera. There are large jigsaw puzzle pieces and exclamation points patterned around them. /.End ID.]

can't believe people are still out here accusing real ass people of queerbaiting. at this point just admit you like forcing people to come out before they're ready because that's what the result of this continues to be. coming out to anyone isn't an obligation for any queer person and people shouldn't have to alter their behavior or personality or presentation just because you personally think they're cishet. that is literally your own personal problem to work on. keep it to yourself

i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.

i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.

anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)

Question:

How do y'all "write something for yourself" that you intend on posting?

Cause I still subconsciously can't "write for myself" unless I don't intend on ever posting it, and then I can only get 100 words or less out onto a Google doc.

Idk if this is a byproduct of taking too many writing classes and writing for assignments or other people or not.

How do I fix this?

i keep saying i need to make some zhaoryu shit but i'm back on my y5 kazusaeji bullshit again they are just so. m

current thing i keep trying to convince myself of is that making one bad drawing does not mean that im bad at drawing. The big doodle pages have helped with that. They do kind of Harm when i go back and see i was making Better art x months ago but im also a believer of If You Can Draw It Once, You Can Draw It Again so it helps to have a bad doodle surrounded by art i didnt scrap (+ consider "good").

Also trying to just accept sometimes things are left in the past.... I do think if u draw something once u can draw it again but im trying to convince myself its ok if i can never get back the art style(s)/art style elements i had in the past.

In the same way we age and have to accept we look differently than we did when we were younger and That Was and Is Us, but we wont look like that ever again. <- This is a little hard bc i also have trouble accepting/dealing with this comparison example LOL

.

trying to remind myself that struggle doesnt automatically mean failure

Who would've thought? I actually made a header for the dottore x reader fic I'm writing... It's here by the way (two chapters thus far)

Lost in the sauce

Jashtober day 1:Lunar!

Soooo yknow that beginning artist mindset where you think ‘oh no this is bad!no one would like thisss!’yea no soo i decided to use a website that nobody knows*cough except everybody at my school* ahem and a tool nobody uses soo have this! :D

redrew an older piece :P

old version

more in depth explanation ig, i dont feel like i can listen to especially poets without thinking about the whole paternity test analysis thing.

when i first listened i felt really awful and embarrassed and i couldn't quite articulate why

while im still trying to figure it out, a huge part of my feelings was (and still is) that the part of me that wants to theorize about songs and who they're about, and connect it to taylor's life and imagine what she wrote about is at odds with what i hear in the lyrics about creeps who want the best for me and etc

there are some songs im better at just vibing with and some songs that i just actively have to force myself not to be like "oh thats about x person and so they did this and she did this and..."

I'm trying, and if anyone has suggestions or things that work for them please send them to me, im new to this and to online fandoms in general. i feel so shitty but then there's part of me that still doesn't see harm in thinking "x song is about taylor and x person, so using what you know about them both lets picture this in your mind" and "oh [symbol 1] that must mean it's about [person 1], but wait now there's also [symbol 2] so it's about [person 1 and person 2] but wait does that mean person 2 could also be related to symbol 1?" all the while all of these people are real actual people.

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away