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allthecolorsofourlove · 4 years

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i want to love you so badly.

do you know that? that you are everything that i want to hold me, i am fragile and there are so few that see that but you do. and i want to love you because you’re the only one who has ever squeezed my hand just as tightly back, who returns the rainwater in the same volume to crashing streams. and i want to love you because i just do, you’re perfect against black velvet and you see me in the same way i see you, mirrored fog and a two way street.

i want to. and i want to.

and i can’t. and it tears me to bits.

and it makes you cry, and i heave even harder.

(i never mean to

cuff others to my mind.)

i don’t even still love her anymore.

it’s not so much

red, it’s the

stains and scars and mental torment that

are left here, a garden bitten by flame, poisoned by holly, choked out with thorn and bramble and i am trying to find how to put it back together. i can barely touch my own skin without second degree burns and blood dripping from shaking hands, i can barely see through smoke and i am coughing up my lungs and old wasps nests and crepe paper. songs caress my temples and i sit up in bed at night, damp faced and trembling. (i know you know this feeling. i know you describe it differently. but you feel it too. i know this, i say, to the reflection in the glass.)

(im sorry i confuse you.)

(it’s hard, to look someone in the

face who has seen my insides.)

(and there are

versions of me, that i know

you will despise;

regardless of your demands otherwise.)

(it’s nothing you’ve done.)

(it’s never been your fault.)

i beg you to

dig, not for

my lack of breath under cloven hooves, not for my lack of desire, not for anything you have done,

but for your sake.

satyr, i cannot let you wait forever.

(i know you insist you will.)

(i can’t let you.)

(i used to say the same thing, i used to believe the same thing, i used to think it wasn’t an issue, i thought i could sit under pine and in powder dirt among distant laughter and sprinkling mist but i couldn’t. it almost broke me. i can’t let it break you. i can’t let you snap your horns and drown in earth for me. i can’t let you hurt yourself like this, i can’t let you burn your hands in a flame that doesn’t belong to your past, i can’t let you be damaged by hexes not meant for you.)

i know myself. i know this scar on my belly, i know this worry for the future and this morbid newfound fear settled against my spine that wonders how this wound will hinder my future flight into adulthood. this fear that i will be unable to let anyone in again. this fear that i give too much and fill in all the wrong answers and this fear that my molars are monstrous, this fear that my mouth does not mumble sweet nothings but is a gaping maw, foul with spit and malice.

(you’ll tell me this fear is irrational.

part of me knows you’re right.

the other part was told they’re a bully,

told that they are selfish,

told they hurt; and breed rumors like

weeds inside a community church.

it has been so long since i

feared villainy.)

and i know that i have so long to go. i know i tell you i am ebony and i am mint but i think i am neither. i think i want to be. i think i want to be pitch, chartreuse, i want to love you, i want to love you, i want to love again.

(unlock this china cabinet, pull lemon squares out of my iron oven and smile at me across the room. life is sweet on this island in my mind and i wish i knew how to stay here.)

and i can’t.

there is so much you do not know.

things i can not explain.

(she told me she wished

she had never apologized for

three months of malicious intent.

i told her i should have held

her accountable for her

actions instead of

wishing she would take me back.

she stopped answering.)

you don’t ask for my apologies.

i still hand them to you freely.

(it’s in my nature;

empathy makes up my core and

between my own ache to feel

again, and your weeping over

someone like me, i

feel so sorry. i am so sorry.)

(i haven’t read your book.

im waiting to read it all at once.

the whole thing, complete, the

product of a history in

history class, in one sitting,

phone in hand.)

(i cannot wait.)

i know this doesn’t answer all of your missed calls. i know this can’t let you kiss my knuckles, i know it can’t let me hum for you in the woods. i know that.

i know that.

i just wish it could, some way.

i wish i knew how to tell you, properly, the

muck and dirt in my chest. (you can

tell, can’t you, that these words aren’t

exactly what im wanting to say. you can

tell, it’s 3:45am and my brain is sluggish and

my tongue is soft and i can’t exactly

find the right words for this.

i curse chaos.

these stanzas are a mess.)

i can’t though. and i need you to know it’s not just you. i can’t explain to myself, or the sunset knight always at my side, or my bloodline so far away, i cannot explain to you the feeling in my gut when i sit down with enough time to look at old road maps and burnt foliage.

i just ache.

i want to feel again.

i just can’t yet.

(time dictates it was eleven months ago;

my chest tells me it ended just one.)

— i don’t resent you for lingering;

you are comfort in night (is it shameful of

me to enjoy your presence so much, even

in no stable place to reciprocate properly?)

but my love, i fear for the song in your chest.

i cannot let you die for me; not when i

have so many fresh bandages along my seams.

#prismatic heart: the satyr #prismatic heart #poetry #writing #poems #poem #late night writing #writings #writer #lesbian poet #poet #lesbian poem #late night writings

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faunusrights · 5 years

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 8? IS IT 8 ALREAD- YEAH IT IS.

oh god its been 8 weeks already i dont like that these chapters reveal how much time im WASTING but c’est la vie as always lets put these assholes on blast:

moving SWIFTLY on!!!!!!!!!!!!

(also what do you mean ‘it’s the meat chapter’. wh. what meat. hello.)

She slumped back against uncomfortably warm stone, trying to tuck her feet back into the shade.

it’s a known fact that glynda is all Long all Angles and also a lot of Beef,

this is? the date, right? the date chapter? yes? all the chapters have been shuffled around i have NO sense of where i am because all thats happened for 7 chapters is ive been assaulted by lesbians but given the distant chanting of meat meat meat this must be the date.... right.........................................

OH THAT MEANS WE GET TO SEE CINDER’S DRESS NICE

Cinder’s smile flashed through Glynda’s mind, and she shifted against the stone wall, reaching for her Scroll.

my favourite thing is how whenever cinder and glynda think of each other its never not got crazy gay energy............. this is LITERALLY like the whole ‘i sleep next to a photo of my enemy’ deal!!!!!!!!!!! they’re both just attracted to dangerous (and also stupid) people, is the thing,

The Grimm swarmed, biting insects with snapping mandibles, their chitinous exoskeletons all scraping against one another with their constant, eager writhings.

YES thats some GOOD IMAGERY RIGHT THERE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF UH-HUH

honestly i- OKAY LOOK I SAID IT BEFORE BUT I STAND BY HOW OFFAL HUNT IS SO VISCERAL... i love writing thats like............ kinda Uncomfy to imagine but also rly detailed and just rly digs into the gore and the grossness............ its GOOD CONTENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank god offal hunt just whaps u in the face w/ it like a damp sock,

we’re got a bit of slow start here which is a nice way to slice the difference between earlier ‘gotta go fast’ glyn and this ‘actually i’m way out of my depth’ glyn. wow! i can BREATHE. and we havent had anything massively cheeky pop up yet which may be a new record all round

The ripples of its being reached Glynda with ease, consuming those of the smaller Grimm. It was dangerous. More dangerous by far, even out here among these ancient beasts.

mmmmmmmmmmm this is- okay slight spoilers but i presume this is hati? aka he who had like a handful of lines in the first version and was generally just... look hati was winner of The Most Vague award in the first version so i’m hoping its hati because i am CURIOUS ABT THIS BOY.................. who i coincidentally love. who is he? we’re not sure (yet) but i love him. its just a fact!

It wasn’t just consumption. It was desecration. Vile unmaking. The Grimm stripped away her flesh. Tasted of her marrow. Gorged itself on the gristle between her bones and peeled back her ribs to reveal the chasm within. It sucked the soul from her chest in a wash of red and agony that spanned centuries, each running over the raw meat of her like long, black claws—

I JUST LOVE THE WAY THIS SHIT GETS DESCRIBED ITS SO SATISFYING also i feel like there should be a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny fingerguns in here t e c h n i c a l l y but im not gonna cause its vague enough i can kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda move on kinda slightly maybe

It felt like death itself had caught her in its massive maw, chilling her organs, reaching for the soul at the core of her.

OKAY FINE 👈😡👈

OKAY FINE YEAH THE REST OF THIS IS ALL CHEEKY FINGERGUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that said this is all RLY VITAL STORYTELLING and im rly glad we’ve got some expanded Glynda Lore because it was Lacking in the archived version... but now we’re full on until glynda backstory babey!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fear itself couldn’t touch her, and even as she thought this, she felt it drain away.

Her breathing slowed. Her body relaxed. Information trickled in, unburdened by emotion.

👈👈👈😡👈👈👈

glynda rly DOES only have half a braincell Huh

OKAY DATE TIME? DATE TIME? YES? MAYBE?????????????? god ive been looking forward to this stupid gay date for so long. EIGHT WEEKS. EIGHT.

A pause. “Are you familiar with the Hill of Roses Massacre?”

ah the return of the Plot (that Isnt The Gay Bit)

i was gonna Say A Thing, and then answered my own question, and then realised it’d be spoilers anyway. YAY SPOILERS! YAY NOT BEING ABLE 2 SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah theres a lot going on here dsdjhgf

“Well, it was your class, so.” She couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

/ticks off ‘anything to do w/ ozpin’ off the bingo card, again,

“I’m afraid it’s a bit more complicated than that, Glynda. With this meeting on the horizon… I fear I would cloud your judgement.”

oz i love u and yr cryptic bullshit but this will not the first Nor The Last Time glynda and i are both exasperated w/ u. please. blease.

Ozpin had never misled her before.

👈😂👈

“I’m only following orders.” Written with the same implication as a wink. “Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Professor?”

i fucking adore winter schnee i’d DIE for her

i may have to make a spoiler version of this later because theres Some Shit being said here and i DIRELY have to expand upon it but that will have 2 wait dskfjsdf

When they saw she was human, they waved her through without any trouble.

i still feel like im being targeted for my url!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U ASSHOLES,

As much as she could, Glynda tried to avoid the constant bump of shoulders and too-tight quarters. As large as she was, it was nearly impossible,

what did i say!!!!!!!!!!!!! we LOVE one beefy bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(im literally getting SO excited for the date reveal im VIBRATING)

She still didn’t have much of an idea what waited within, but she had quite a few reservations about using the front door.

me: knows whats coming also me: glynda please

As a Huntress who’d been trained in both subtlety and stealth, Glynda had a few ideas.

The next person who stepped outside was thrown roughly aside,

ME: GLYNDA PLEASE,

you have no idea how often im just. i have my face in my hands. glynda’s never heard of a repercussion in her life. cinder once saw the word ‘consequences’ and broke out into hives. im. where’s the thinking-

And then she noticed Cinder.

here comes the peak gay im so ready HERE IT COMES-

Her hair was tossed over one shoulder as always, but in place of her usual crimson dress, she wore black tonight. Dark fabric with but a hint of iridescent specks rippled around her ankles, rising up to stretch tight across her hips. It rose all the way to the hollow of her throat and was cut to be sleeveless, though Cinder wore gloves of the same material that rose nearly to her shoulders.

HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god u may know i drew a shitpost of this scene and now i Have to redraw it to be even Sexier!!!!!!!!!! also i know glynda could argue she’s being Observant but i also think, she’s a home of saxophone, and is gay,

LIKE ‘stretch tight across her hips’ WHY YA L O O K I N

Glass heels clicked over the dark stone floor as Cinder stopped right in front of Glynda, looking up at her from beneath lofty bangs. Gold eyes swept from the crown of Glynda’s head to the crop gripped so tightly in her hand—and then Cinder smiled.

there is No heterosexual explanation for this

Cinder clicked her tongue. “Well, now that you’re here, shall we?”

“Shall we…?”

“Glynda,” she chided, rolling her eyes. “Dinner, of course.”

IM LOSING MY MIND AAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY’RE LESBIANS HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. okay. this still isnt QUITE THE DATE CHAPTER BUT WE’RE RLY IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so scared that a whole chap has been saved for this meal because its going to be so long and charged w/ lesbian energy and its gonna kill me BUT OH WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway i loved it. the end.

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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