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#but idk i worked on this one for a long time so kinda just wanted to be done with it
yorsgirl · 3 days
Note
Yan!Heian!Sukuna and with Y/N?
Lately, whenever Darling got pregnant she ended up having countless miscarriages, the longest lasting at least 3 months, Sukuna began to suspect these countless coincidences.
He doesn't care about these losses since he didn't want to share Y/N with some brat, but he found it very strange that every time she got pregnant resulted in a miscarriage, so he started investigating and finally found out why this was happening.
He discovered that Y/N was causing her own miscarriages, as she knew that the last thing the world needed was Sukuna's descendants, so he finally confronts her but with that damn psychological terror that he loves to do to her.
Oh my, I love love love this idea!!
I kinda went out on this one, but I hope I did justice to what you were aiming at. Hope you like it :) Also I am sorry for being so late
Playing God
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Yandere!Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: It was a gamble, he was willing to make. To keep you with him, forever, as he wanted. Needed. You had to realize that no other heaven except his arms would be comforting. Even if that meant, breaking your very soul.
Tropes: Dark Romance, Historical fiction, Angst
Warnings: Implied nsfw(forced), mentions of pregnancy, miscarriage, abduction, cannibalism and isolation. Trauma, mild stockholm syndrome, yandere themes, minor character death(s), gore, gaslighting, manipulation, misogyny, blood, degradation(non-kinky), patriarchal society, unhealthy relationship, implied child birth.
General warnings: Yandere!True form!Husband!Sukuna, Wife!Reader, Heian Era, both Sukuna and reader are a red flag on their own, usage of nicknames, no mentions of y/n, not proofread.
Word Count: 9.7k ( Just when I thought AFW2 was long, I write this... I know its too much but trust me, I needed to. There was just so many things which I couldn't miss out.)
A/N: This is the first request which I worked on, so idk if I did it up to your standard. I sincerely apologize, if this isn't what you wanted. + I hope its similar to what you wanted. Thanks for the wait and request.
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You were digging your own grave.
So you shouldn't have been surprised that your wish would be granted. Yet, if you could have one wish then you'd wish for freedom but no- freedom was a forfeited dream, far beyond your reach. Consideration of that one would never be fruitful. You are trapped even in your dreams.
Playing with fire only gets you burnt.
For long, you played this game and this- this was your compensation. For everything you had done until now, all you are returned with was abandonment. Not that supposedly, betrayal, yes. More appropriate.
Flames surrounded you, crawling up your skin, the screams piercing your ears, your chest heaved up and down. Gaze, once settled on your hearth, now all you saw was the burning hut, the crackling of embers reached your ears. Attire and hands stained with blood of the insolent. The warning shouldn't have been taken lightly. Should have known, the extent of his power.
Eyes held terror, fright, regret- whatever you could name. The multitude of names you received seemed no more than a distant dream, nowhere to be found. All were running away - expectable.
You expected calamity, but you were calm.
Everything went down in flames. Save for you, you weren't burning. Not an spark touched your skin. Was it the distance or the control? Who knows. But one confirmation which you held was that - tonight you won't die. Not so soon either.
Careful, not all Gods are worshipped.
The words rang in your ears and as if on cue, you found him again. In this reverie of madness, he held your sight when you attempted to turn - The eyes tinted with crimson.
.
"I am sorry for your loss, m'lady."
You had seen it all.
You had your fair share of encounters, received news and such. Women losing their mind and sanity after delivered with a news this devastating. Notably, no woman would feel any bliss after knowing that they had lost their child. Lost the chance of motherhood before experiencing it. Violent outbursts was the most probable outcome.
"This is a hard time," The midwife spoke softly. "Yet, you shouldn't neglect your health."
You perceived the softness to be fear. She must have had dealt with situations like these, most of them traumatizing, you assumed. Perhaps, she expected the same from you too. You tore your gaze off her, leaning back on your bedframe, "I'd like to be left alone."
Your declaration was answered with compliance. Offering a humble bow, she bid you farewell, walking out of your chambers. Once her footsteps seized, you finally let your guard down. Breathing out a sigh of relief, you laid back down on your bed.
"Good riddance," You muttered to yourself. Moments of such vulnerability wasn't rare – considering you were served with loneliness, lately. Save for the times you spent in the presence of Sukuna. His decree, one might say. Your attention shouldn't be wasted on anyone but him.You scoffed recalling his words. Involuntarily, your hand stroked your belly, the corner of your lip curled up.
Once a house to life, given by your husband; now lay vacant from your doing.
A twisted sense of pride swelled up in your chest, a wide grin stretching on your face. You were successful in your quest, again. Mercilessly, you uprooted the seed of your Husband's lineage. Perhaps, you've truly gone sick.
Yet, this revolt of feelings were miles lesser than the repugnant you encountered when you realized your first pregnancy. You were on the brink of clawing out the creature growing in your womb. You'd have torn it apart with while revelling in the joy of watching its blood drip down on the face of Earth. If not for Sukuna's presence in the room, you might've gone through it.
You lost a fragment of yourself, that day.
Throwing up countless times, dizziness, nausea, even losing your consciousness while walking down - no, they weren't pregnancy side effects. More so, the outcome of the stress accumulating in you.
Sickening. His kin you'd have cradled in your body. To have born and grow up into a revolting, merciless creature like his father. To take up place in your womb, your flesh and blood combined with his, a living proof of your plight - disgusting.
Never. You'd never let that happen.
You'd never succumb to such monstrosity.
You had already given up your freedom, your dignity, your alight life to Sukuna in exchange of the lives you held dear. The lives back in your ancestral village, home to your kin.
You were affirmed, an heir of Ryomen Sukuna would never be birthed from you.
Speak of the devil, he appears.
An overwhelming familiar aura surrounded your very being, the doors to your chamber slid open, your captor, your husband strolled inside. Even his mere presence held the malevolence in him. You attempted to rise from your position at his arrival.
"Sit." He commanded.
You silently obeyed his order, keeping your gaze settled on your lap, the energy had your stomach churning with trepidation; at times when you didn't do anything either. And this time, you were guilty. Two moments passed in silence until he spoke.
"I heard from the midwife."
You took in a sharp breath, swallowing a lump in your throat. It was the same ordeal, like the first two times. Yet, you were a tad bit calm since the previous encounters. Probably, due to the fact you were getting used to this role. In this past moons, you had developed into the wife, he was carving you out to be. Giving him just the reactions he wanted, for that saved you a lot of anguish and pain. Even if it came at the price of your self-respect. This was the only way.
With your head hung low, you spoke, "Forgive me, my lord. I am incapable of bearing you an heir. I-It must have been my fau-"
"Not another word."
You instantly stiffened up, his deep voice causing chills to run down your spine. Did you make an error? Was he aware of your tumultuous acts? Was the play not convincing enough?
He held your chin, forcing you to look up at him. All of his four, red eyes bore into you. You bit on your inner cheek, blood coursing in your veins - steadfast.
They say, your fear start to vanish once you've remained in the source of their vicinity too long. That statement is false. For even after staying with your captor for almost two years, you still held your fear.
"The one at fault bore consequences."
That's when you were hit with the faint stench of blood from him. Another one perished. You took the wild guess of it being the midwife. However, instead of amplifying fright, it was lessened. You wouldn't be on the receiving end of his wrath.
"You aren't at fault, wife."
Oh, but you were.
Sukuna held your gaze, cupping your cheek; the rough pad of his thumb trailed a line on your skin. His tone and grip were surprisingly gentle. "There's no need to apologize."
The corners of your eyes crinkled down, you lean into his touch. You assume, it's a good move as you noted the flicker of emotion in his eyes. "It's the third time, my lord. Perhaps, I bear some shortcomings."
"What nonsense," He rolled his eyes. "There's none, not in my eyes. Don't fill your head with such fickle thoughts." He paused for a moment before continuing, "Is that understood?"
He wasn't one for affirmations but maybe- just maybe it was his attempt at comfort, you supposed. The previous losses must had him learning, the threads of condolence. Still, for you, they'd never mean anything less than empty words. The last thing you wanted was to be comforted by your tormentor. You'd rather step into hell willingly.
But you were living under his wing. You have to play according to his whims. You nodded. "Yes, my lord."
His hand left your face, dropping to his thigh. He looked at you, as if sizing you up. You had to keep yourself from making any unnecessary movements. Sukuna wanted you composed, whatever the situation. (Except the times when he bedded you, you were allowed to scream, cry and thrash around then. Cause you were trapped under his immense strength, struggles were futile).
After a while, he asked, "Any wishes?"
You chewed on your bottom lip, eyes flickering down then back to him. You let out a breath, before continuing. "May I visit the shrine... this evening?"
Silence.
You were contemplating whether you had offended him, somehow. Previously, he did allow for your little trips, you wondered if his patience was running thin cause of your repeated incapability of bearing him an heir. Maybe, you ran out of luck.
You were about to mutter an apology but then a smug grin spread across his lips, "Why so?" He asked.
"To-" You swallowed a lump, preparing to answer the practiced dialogue. "To offer prayers for–"
"Why grieve for someone who didn't even take form?" He cut you up, raising an eyebrow. For a tad moment, he sounded curious. It broke into a cruel chuckle, "You humans would make a funeral out of anything, yes?"
If you held an ounce of sympathy then you wouldn't question.
You wanted to say but you knew better. Besides, you still have to keep up the act of being his loyal wife. Heaving a out a deep breath, you replied, "I suppose." You paused, running the tip of your tongue over your lip.
"I'd pray that I can bear you an heir the next time, my lord."
Nay, more so: I'd pray that you receive your end soon, my lord.
Sukuna watched you. No, not look. He watched, like a predator. Then, his lips cracked into a sinister grin. "You've a way with your words, wife."
It caught you off guard. You raised an eyebrow, attempting to voice out your confusion. "What do-"
"I will accompany you."
.
"Sukuna sama, the herbalist you asked for, has arrived."
Sukuna spared a glance at Uraume, who knelt by his feet.
"Bring him."
As on cue, they rose up from their stance, pivoting around towards the door. It parted, two curses had a man in their grasp as he struggled to break free. His eyes widening with terror when it fell on the King, sitting atop his throne.
The man was pushed down to his knees, face meeting the floor in a loud slam. His scuffles were in vain against such power, he knew that. Still, in a situation of life and death, rationality takes it's leave.
Sukuna clicked his tongue in annoyance. All he wanted was some herbalist to answer the flurry of questions in his which had him restless for the past few days. Did this scum think he'd be killed? Maybe he would be, if he deems it necessary or he proves to be useless.
What had him restless was your miscarriages. Counting the most recent would make it a fourth. Where did he go wrong? You were kept in utmost luxury, no toils whatsoever. Still, what was wrong?
—》《—
"Perhaps, there's some faults in her highness."
"Keep your voice down, Mira. Someone may hear you."
"I am a lot quite... but tell me, don't you find it strange? How come she has lost all of her children?"
"I- I suppose. Perhaps, motherhood is not written in her fate."
"Or so, she's simply incapable."
—》《—
Safe to say, those were the last words they uttered before they were turned into a mash of flesh and blood.
Sliced into pieces that even trying to make a proper corpse out of the remnants weren't possible.
At times, Sukuna wished he held the power to bring back someone to life. Then maybe, he'd have given those servants a death, more worthy. Maybe, ripping out their limbs, piece by piece. First the bones would break, ripped from the ligaments, then it'd be the muscles; that was easy to just tear out. And after that happened, he could have just sewn up the blobs of flesh again and repeat the process until they learn their lesson or the life leaves them again.
He deduced the latter would be more probable. Still, it would be fine. They deserved that.
Speaking ill of you in his palace, in his vicinity, in his world was prohibited. A sin, in the words of humans. And a sin never goes unpunished.
You - his consort, his queen, you were heavenly. There isn't a fault in you, it's some external factor, must be. But he can't let go of his growing suspicion either.
Sukuna detested children, it was a known fact. Always ending their lives first, whenever he set foot in a village. They were of no use to him, unless they were served to him on his platter. He couldn't deny, their flesh was flavourful.
Even though, he held great disdain for them, he couldn't help but desire a kinship with you. With the price of letting go of your undivided attention? Hmm, doesn't sound too great. He assumed, he can hire a wet nurse, just in case. Still, he desired to see you round with his child, feet swollen as you struggled to walk around. You do not have to worry, he, your husband would joyfully oblige in carrying you in his arms. You were more than perfect, he couldn't even imagine just how beautiful you'll look, during and after carrying your child.
It was destined. You'd extend his lineage or no one else.
You were flawless then why were you causing such errors? Contradicting. It was his question until he started to take a note in your behaviour, and he found...
Sukuna stood up from his throne, walking down the steps of bones, presumably of the ones he killed. They act as a pretty show piece, according to him.
The court resonated with his footsteps, each one carrying a promise of death. The man's struggles seized once he was harshly pulled up by his hair, his eyes met with Sukuna's.
"Yo-your high–ness," The man fumbled with his words, a spine chilling sensation going down his frame.
"Time's wasting," Sukuna said, his glare pointed. The fury evident, though his exterior was calm. "Comply if you don't wish death."
The man nodded frequently, his fingertips trembled with anticipation and horror. "Ye-yes, your highness. It's an honour to s-serve you." The man fell to his feet as he was dropped. Sukuna dismissed the extra company with a wave of his hand.
"Rise," He declared.
The man still on his knees, raises his head. "What can I- I do for you, your highness?"
—》《—
"May I make a request, my lord?"
Sukuna's eyes flickered to you, yours not meetinh his. Knelt before him, you gracefully poured the sake in his ochoko.
"Speak."
He marked the squinting in your irises, fingertips trembled when you put the vessel down. Your shoulders rose and fell before you gazed at him, reluctantly. He couldn't help but find your antics inhumanely amusing. 
"Would you be kind enough... to bring me this-" You paused for a fleeting moment. "This herb called... aloe vera?"
—》《—
"Aloe vera," Sukuna tilted his head aside, the upper pair of arms crossed over his chest. "What use does it have?"
"We-well, my lord it's used for heal-healing purposes, burns, cuts, rashes... it heals injuries, yes." He answered, taking a gulp. There was other uses too yet his head was alike a blank canvas, before such a formidable strength. He wasn't even aware if it was satisfactory or why the King of Curses needed to know about such a measly plant. But if it meant, he gets to live another day, then he'll just give what he could offer. "I-It can also be used to– to make me-medicated food. N-not a delicacy... I might add."
Sukuna raised an eyebrow, "That's it?"
"N-no, my lord. There- it can cure diges-"
"In pregnancy."
The man stiffened, his mouth parting a tad bit. A whisper leaving his lips, "Yo-your highness...?"
Pregnancy, menstruation, considered taboo. A matter regarding women, spoken in the inner chambers, the men should remain ignorant. A topic whispered in ears not spoken aloud in any hall, let alone the royal court. Certainly, Sukuna was aware of this societal construct, yet he didn't care. The society and its idiotic rules could go to hell. He just needed answers.
"Speak," Sukuna's voice was louder, deeper when the man before him fidgeted in his spot due to discomfort - on speaking such a topic.
"It-Its a- your highness, I d-don't think you-"
"Bastard," His fumbling was interrupted by Sukuna. The warning evident in his profanity. His face grew darker, the four irises glowing with impending danger akin Satan himself. "If you so much as want to live, fucking speak."
The man's blood ran cold as on cue, face turning a shade paler as if winter had started to pool in. Tears prickled the corners of his eyes, "Forgive me, your highness! I will speak, I will- yes- aloe vera its-" He heaved out a deep breath, an attempt to slow down his beating heart. "Any fo-form of it is ill-suited during pregnancy... it can cause... cause pe-pelvic haemorrhage leading to... to  misc-"
"Miscarriage?"
"Yes, miscarriage... can lead to miscarriage, your highness."
A profound silence prevailed. Not a soul spoke neither was a footstep heard. Not a leaf rustled or the howling winds tapped on the window pane - assumed, mother nature had halted its elements from making any noise.
The stakes were high yet an flicker of courage alighted in the man as he raised his head up to glance at Sukuna, "My lor-"
The man's head tumbled down before he could even complete.
He couldn't scream, he couldn't beg, he couldn't apologize, he couldn't even blink. All he could do was watch. Watch as his beheaded body fell limp before his eyes. Watch as the blood poured out like waterfalls staining the carpet with its hues. The red marred bones protruded out amidst the flesh, globs of blood was gushing out of his severed voice box. His body jerked, the remnants of conscious nerves trying to survive.
It was a neat cut. A heavenly sight.
The world started to blur in. And before he knew it, the light was gone from his eyes.
Sukuna didn't even spare a glance as he marched out of his court.
Uraume approached the body, a few maids accompanying them. They casted a disapproving glare at the corpse.
"Not edible, dispose of it."
.
You didn't see or hear from Sukuna for a week.
He didn't visit your chambers at night neither was he present when you sat down for your meals. Even his energy was alike a hushed whisper which would remind you of his presence in the residence, but not reveal himself to you. For some reason, it had you in an unease.
No, you certainly did not miss his presence. But his absence just made the surroundings almost suffocating. There was the looming threat that something had happened or something were to happen. One worse than the other.
Silence was never uneventful.
Taking up the courage, you had once inquired Uraume about his absence. Presenting a polite bow, they answered, "Sukuna sama doesn't want to be disturbed."
Disturbed... as if he wasn't the cause of all disturbances. A natural disaster in himself. You resisted the urge to scoff and uttered a meek line of gratitude before going about your day. (Which extended with you strolling down the halls or garden or just be in your chambers and read the few books, Sukuna had bought you)
On the very same day the dark commenced. While you were mesmerized by the fall of twilight over the garden, you heard his voice.
"Don't you love playing with poison, wife?"
The sudden question made you halt your steps, you weren't even aware that he was present- shielded his aura, presumably. You turned around, raising an eyebrow with bewilderment.
"Pardon, my lord?"
Sukuna snorted , walking up to you, a smirk played on his lips. You had to make the effort of tilting your head to gaze up at him. His towering figure loomed over you, his lower left hand snaking around your waist - pulling you closer to him.
"You love poisons, don't you? Or in your words - herbs."
Your shoulders grew rigid, eyes widening with realization, a sharp breath hitting your throat. Your fingertips trembled with anticipation. You were sure to be discreet in your affairs, using the isolation he subjected you to at its best. He knew. It was bad. Very much so. And what were to happen now? What would he do to you?
Another night of horror where your screams would be unheard, your resistance proved to be futile, where you'd be left to suffer alone, where another shard of your remaining soul would be plunged by him. Another night where you'd again play into his whims... Or something more vile, leaving you physically disabled? Perhaps, even death...
The foremost was the most heinous one. You silently prayed that he wouldn't resort to that. If you were to be subjected to his torment then you wished he'd just kill you, liberating you for once and for all. Even so, survival is what the mind wants. Piecing through any tactic just to live another day. The play for now should be denial.
Sukuna's affections for you worked as a double edged sword. You aimed to take advantage of it, in every way possible. You instilled a bit of courage, standing your ground, you spoke "I don't understand what you're trying to instigate, my lord."
He looked down on you, a coy smile uplifting his lips. He threaded his fingers through the knot of your kimono, leaning down next to your ear, he inhaled your scent. His lips brushing over your neck.
"I do not believe so, wife." He murmured, his warm breath hitting your skin, a range of goosebumps rising over your arm. "In fact, I think you clearly know, what I speak about."
Before you could let a word out, he straightened up, turning around, he pushed you to walk with him. His large hand still covering your back.
"Come, let me entertain you."
.
You were walking to the gallows.
Not literally but you were sure, your end was near.
The wooden floors creaked with footfalls. Each step heavier than the previous. You hesitantly glimpsed at Sukuna, his gaze was far ahead. Not a word left his mouth in this while. Only his hold remained firm. He pushed you forward every moment your step faltered.
Your breath hitched when you turned a corner - the right wing. A rule, you could say. Sukuna made it clear since the day he held you captive brought you home - never step a foot in the right wing. Despair drowned your curiosity that time, you didn't question, least bothered to. Even later, you didn't dare to defy him; courtesy to the pain you were subjected to once.
Still, you could make the wild guess of what happened in there. The muffled screams kept you awake at midnight, it was easy to put the puzzle pieces together. There he revelled with the sick pleasure of tormenting your kind.
He stopped before a pair of oak doors. That's when he glanced at you, for the first time in a long while. For a moment, he stared at you with an emotion you couldn't decipher. The next moment, he pulled out the Kanzashi from your hair, letting your strands tousle down.
You flinched, pushing away the curls which clouded your vision. Sukuna held the pin in his hand, holding your gaze. He was unmoving.
What happened to him?
"My lord," You called. "What are you-"
"Stay quiet," He handed you the kanzashi back, adjusting your hand to hold it as if it were a dagger. Turning to the door, he spared you a glance. "Don't speak a word." With that, the doors opened.
Dark.
It was dark save for the light of the lantern which illuminated the room. He shoved you forward, the door locking behind as he stood aside you.
"One bite."
Huh? Bite? What did he mean? You slightly turned your head towards him but you were stopped in your tracks. It wasn't only you and Sukuna in this room, seems you had a guest. More appropriate word? A Captive.
Your eyes were wide open. On the corner of the room, sat a young boy, not more than a adolescent - blindfolded. Restrained by chains, his wrists and ankles were cuffed with metal. A small whimper left his lips as he registered the presence of both of you.
You were about to speak but then his words rang in your mind.
Don't speak a word.
Sukuna gripped your wrist, leading you to the boy, "One bite, in the arm."
He wasn't talking to you. To the boy, he kept his eyes. You marked how the boy flinched. The metals clanking on contact.
He turned to you then, motioning to the pin in your hand then the boy's arm. Realization hit you. You tried to shake your head, refuse; but one glare of his and you were compelled. Reluctantly, you turned around, trudging to the boy.
Something was wrong.
You could feel it. Why... why would he want you to stab this poor boy? A picture of misery, he was. You noted he didn't have any sign of bruises in his body - peculiar. Yet, his fragile state was enough to give you a hint that he had been here for days. Perhaps, starved too. The tension was high and all you wanted was to leave this room, in an instant.
Fine, if Sukuna wanted you to just stab the boy. You'd do it. Missing the vital points which could end his life. One, he said. You'll miss the point and done. Its not upon you that you'd pierce the wrong place. His instructions weren't specific - that'd be your excuse.
He won't die. Not from your hands.
You gently held the boy's arm, angling the pointers on the muscles. You drove it in.
Miscalculation.
The boy's body instantly stiffened, an gut wrenching scream erupted from his mouth. He thrashed around, swinging his legs and arms, his body twitching violently.
You recoiled back soon, yanking out the pin, stepping away on instinct. You watched with terror.
Foam rose up the boy's mouth, his shrieks pierced your eardrums. The fluid dripped down his jaw, marring his clothes. He clutched the area where you stabbed him. Scratching at it with all his might. The sound of flesh ripping filled your ears as the boy ruthlessly, tore the muscles.
You were stunted. You couldn't speak or move. You weren't chained but you felt as if a thousand shackles bore you down.
The next seconds were a blur. The screams started to die down, his body losing it's color. Sooner than you could grasp, did the room turn silent again.
The boy was dead.
.
"Enjoyed the show, wife?"
You slapped your hand over your mouth, stumbling a few steps back. You couldn't tear your eyes off the young boy, bile rose up your throat as the room started to spin.
"Wh-what did you-"
No- you couldn't throw up, whatever second thought it was, it refrained you from crumbling to your knees and make a mess. Shivers went down your spine, you struggled to stand straight. The stench of the corpse and the expunging liquids started to fill your nostrils. You were almost on the verge to lose consciousness.
"What... did you do?"
Your eyes flickered to Sukuna. He stood tall, not a sign of emotion on his mien. You regret ever considering mirth to the worst feature on him, cause none was more terrifying.
And he was watching you.
It reminded you of the time, you first saw him -  covered with blood of the lives he had taken, down the river bank. Victim of naivety and ignorance, you didn't know any better than to not let him see you. Wandering towards the peculiar beast, even when a gut wrenching terror asked you to run; you were stubborn. You had asked - are you alright?
"What did you do?" You repeated again.
Tilting his head, he kept his unwavering gaze fixed on you. "As a matter of fact, I didn't do anything, wife." He paused, letting the horror shadow your features, "It was all you."
You needed to run.
The kanzashi, which was till then clasped in your hand firmly, fell down. A clank, you heard.
One step.
One step towards the door. He is standing afore you, the fingers of his upper right arm ran through your open hair, tangling in the roots, he yanked your head back.
"I don't remember, giving you the permission to leave."
Tears prickled your eyes as you tried to break free. Sukuna was having none of it. He dragged you by your hair towards the corpse of the boy. Your nails jabbed into his wrist while whimpers of anguish left your mouth.
Sukuna shoved you down to your knees, tugging your hair back - you were sure, they will be ripped off if he puts any more pressure - he made you glance at its face. He crouched beside you. With a flick of his finger, he ripped the blindfold out of the boy.
"Dare to shut your eyes."
Compliance had become second nature.
The body was rigid, skin turning blue. The veins on his arms were bulged out, his mouth wide open, filled with foam, trickling down his cheek, drying on it.
The sight caused you to gag.
Horrifying. His bloodshot eyes were wide open, protruding out of the sockets. Irises dilated in shape, which you considered humanly impossible. But what had your heart hammering in your chest wasn't the vivid details you saw on the corpse. It was the fact, that you recognized the boy. Son of that distant elder cousin, you'd seen once or twice in a year.
"Look at that, love." Sukuna cooed in your ear, forcing you to face the corpse.
You shook your head violently, clawing at his wrist - desperate to escape. Your heart thumped inside your ribcage, you could hear it in your ears, your guts twisted in numerous ways as sweatbeads trailed down your forehead.
"You did that."
No. No, you didn't. You didn't do it. It wasn't you.
"You killed him."
No, you didn't... he didn't die because of you.
"Take a good look. See what you've done."
You vigorously shook your head. Denying all of his claims cause... cause they were... false, yes, false. They were false.
"No," You stated once you found your voice. "N-no, no... I- no."
Sukuna hummed, twisting a knot in your hair, "Yes, you. You did it."
No. You were innocent. You weren't to be blamed. It wasn't you.
It was... him.
"No, no, I didn't," You refused again, standing your ground. Moving your eyes towards him, you gritted your teeth. "No, I didn't do it. I didn't do anything. It was you."
"Really? How so?"
Fire burnt in your eyes. It was enough. He couldn't make you believe which you didn't commit - you didn't kill him.
"Poison," You said with conviction lacing your tone. "He was poisoned, a stab wouldn't procure such a reaction."
"Observant as ever," He mused, quirking up an eyebrow. A faint smile curled up on his lips. "Still, it doesn't gratify the fact that you were the one to end his life."
Blood boiled inside you, surging through your veins like lava. He had no right to accuse you of something. You didn't kill him, he couldn't make you believe it, whatsoever may happen.
"I may have stabbed him with the kanzashi, but that didn't have any trace of poison in it. I am-"
"Sure of it?"
You could only glare at him. He was toying with you. Tugging the strings of your conscience but you won't have any of it. "I am," You confirmed, staring at him without any falters. "I held it... you held it. If it was really drenched with toxicant as lethal as that, we- we both would be dead."
His grip loosened from your hair, hand falling down. The corners of his eyes crinkled, the smile turning into a smirk.
"It was you," You continued. "You did something to him at first and-"
Sukuna broke into a chortle of laughter. Far from jovial, more so sinister, filled with sheer malevolence. He gripped your jaw, pulling you closer to himself. His sharp canines glinted in the dim light.
"You just keep on fascinating me, wife."
Each second with him was revolting. Just his touch alone had your skin crawling. Yet, you couldn't let
"We had a pact," You stated firmly. His game was disgusting. What was he trying to do? What was his goal? "If I stay with you, you wouldn't lay a finger on my family, then- h-how could-"
"I would still stand on the ground, that I didn't do anything." He replied, a hint of amusement in his tone. "It was all you, wife. I can assure you that I didn't go back in my words." His canines glinted while he smiled. "Not a flick of pain. Save for..." He paused, his eyes widening, the carmine irises glowed in the dark. "Save for telling him, he'd be killed by a snake bite."
"There was no venom on my pin."
"Know so," He confirmed, a playful smirk on his visage. You wished you could read minds, if possible only of him, that'd been enough. Then where did poison come from? You wanted to question but he beat you to it.
"His fear turned into poison."
You blinked. Once. Twice. You knew he had an urge to play mind games but this was ridiculous. You questioned, shell-shocked, "What?"
"He let his fear get the better of him, assuming your pin to be a snake. He believed it." He explained while you listened without so much as a word. "His conscience caused his body to give out the exact reactions, he imagined. A shock, you might say. That caused his death."
His game was disgusting. If he thought, he could just give you any excuse as this and let you believe his accusations then he was mad wrong. You gritted your teeth, yanking your face away from his grip. For a second, you saw all of his eyes opening wide with surprise. But that didn't extinguish the fire burning in you.
He reached out, dragging you towards him via the arm. A glare resting on his face. "What did I tell about refusi-"
"I don't believe you," You cut him off, hands clenched into fists. It was the first time in a long time, you lost your composure in front of him. No, you wouldn't play as his doll anymore. He broke his promise, its only fair that you do so. "I don't believe a single word you say. You- you did something, you must have. Fear, belief, whatever the fuck, something as trivial as that-"
"So you think fear is trivial, wife?" He sighed, his clutch in your arm remained firm. The rough callouses of his palm, rubbed over your skin. "And here I thought, you might be different than the rest. But you managed to drop below my expectations."
"Maybe that's what I love about you, darling." He continued.
Disgust arose in you, yet again. Love. As if he had any of that. He wasn't capable of love. Not in this lifetime. Never. 
He spoke again, "Times you are the smartest I have seen, then you speak such blasphemy which would even embarrass the Gods you worship. Your silence was awarded by him leaning near your ear. He twisted a curl of your hair between his fingers. "Fear, wife..." He whispered to you. "Fear is a mind killer. It makes you believe anything. The small drop of poison which contaminates all the water."
"In the end, belief and fear are sides of the same coin," His top two eyes, flickered to the corpse of the boy. "I made him consume the poison of fear and you-" He turned to you again. "You made him believe it... so, in a way, yes. Yes, I did do something. Save for the part of ending his life. Though I didn't break my part of our pact." A smirk tugged on his lips. "You were the one who killed him. Isn't that great?"
Your breath hitched, throat gone dry. You gazed at him, eyes wide open. Your mind was a blank canvas.
Fear, poison, belief, killing...
He made you kill someone. An innocent boy who didn't even do anything.
Why won't he much rather just end your life?
Sukuna pulled away from you, standing up, he walked over to the lantern placed in the room. The stench of the rotting corpse had long ago started to pool in.
"You made me kill him." You whispered, still knelt, staring at the floor. When greeted with silence, you questioned again, a tone higher, "You made me kill him."
"And?"
His nonchalance had always been infuriating to you.
You could feel him standing a few steps behind you. "If you really wanted to kill my kin, you should've just told me. Getting your herbs was a tiring chore." You didn't miss the emphasis he put on, herbs. You could see him, rolling his eyes while speaking. "However, the taste of taking a life - isn't it delicious, wife?"
Guilt gnawed at you, tearing you internally. Your shoulders trembled as you let out ragged breaths, eyes fixed on the bloodied arm of the boy. The same arm where the kanzashi pierced, the muscles torn apart, blood drying on it due to the boy's onslaught. Nausea overrode your senses, bile rose up your throat and the next moment you were throwing up. The wastes ran down your mouth, your nails dug into the wooden - bruising your fingertips and chipping the nails. You don't realize Sukuna stepping up to your side, pulling your hair back while you were caught into the ordeal.
A disapproving grunt left his mouth after you were finished, yanking you up with your wrist. He pulled you towards the door. "Com-"
"No." Your heels remained firm on the ground. You refused him before you could even think. He turned towards you slightly, a scowl resting on his features before he pivoted around. He cast a glare upon you but before he could speak, your mouth opened again.
"You're even lower than scum." Your jaw ticked, hands clenching into fists. "You made me kill an innocent boy. Someone who might have done nothing to you, You– You disgust me, Sukuna."
Done you were with the respect, he demanded. If that angered him, made him want to rip out your heart and watch the life drain from your eyes. He was most welcome.
But it looks like, he wasn't resorting to any of that.
"You made me a murderer." You urged, staying strong in your stance. "You turned me into you."
His eyebrow twitched, a wave of mirth washed over him. "You were always like me, wife."
"I am nothing-"
"You're. You are like me. You are no saint, as you think so of yourself. " He said, leaving no room for argument. His lips pressed tight into a thin line. 
Yet, you refused to believe that. You were nothing like him. Couldn't even dream so. You were not him.
"You kill children in your womb, I kill them, after they're born. How is it so different?"
"It is different." You yelled, your jaw clenched, teeth baring out. "This world needs no more of your lineage, it needs no more of you." You jabbed your pointer finger on his chest, tears pooling into your eyes. You refused to shed them. "I kill for your own sake, I do not."
"Then who do you kill for?"
"For everyone." The faint snort of his reached your ears. You couldn't decipher what he found so delightful in this.
"Playing God, are we?" He mocked causing your vexation to rise.
"Maybe I am. For the least, I am not killing innocent people like you."
From where such defiance arose, you weren't sure of. Perhaps, all the frustration, fright, terror which accumulated till now had reached its limit. Moreover, Sukuna's provocation must be the fuel to the fire.
You might be left bleeding– No, you would be left bleeding. You welcomed it with open arms.
.
"Careful," Sukuna pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. "All Gods aren't worshipped."
He was enjoying himself. In all honesty, your obedience was getting too monotonous. This was better. Your defiance was amusing. Arousing, if there's to add. If he knew, letting you end a few lives would have this effect then he would have resorted to this long ago.
"Better than you." You shoved his hand away, "You are nothing more than a wretched, two-faced curse destroying all of our lives."
He noted your scowl, the way your lips were shut tight, your eyebrows crinkled together. Reasons evident, all he desired was to pull you into his arms smash his lips against yours. Taste the very essence of your being. Consume you wholly, just the way you are. So that in the end, your name, your taste, your scent would be engraved in his very soul. Without your mention, he wouldn't be complete. 
But he refrained from giving in now. His desire extended to a far more sinister route. "I wonder..."
What would it be like to break your conviction? What would it be like to break you?
Oh, he knew.
Would it be right moment to let you know? Maybe he should wait for another, more appropriate time.
Hmm, perhaps he should. But no.
He let you play these games for too long. Tired of this game plan, he was. Maybe, you would just come to your senses if he let you know. So he let the words, flow out:
"I wonder, why this curse keeps protecting your pathetic life from people who would cross rivers to lay siege to your life?"
Worth everything.
Sukuna watched as your face lost its color. The previous boldness you presented him with was replaced by a mask of confusion and. Such a pretty sight, it was. To see you, falter from your stand. Second guess, yourself, be in denial then rage consumes you. And you look at him, like he was the forbearer of your misery. (He is).
Oh, how good he has you memorized.
Even the littlest of reactions you contort on your mien, on your mannerisms; everything has him intrigued. You have him intoxicated.
"You know the ones, the people... your people, for whom you play this God."
Sukuna wished he could capture this moment. He'd have the chance to take a glimpse of it again, whenever he wished to. The horrified look on your face as the weight of his words started to sink in.
Would you still look like this if he tells you the terror he bestowed on them who tried to steal you away from him? What would you say if he vividly describes each imagery of how he slowly, agonizingly burnt them, severed them and tormented them? Leaving them nothing but fragments beyond recognition.
You were his. All of you belonged to him. Without his sanction, no one could even see you, let alone touch you. Ah- just how many sorcerers perished from his hands, the number of villages, bathed in blood; save for yours. (Courtesy to that stupid pact, he forged with you)
Something had told him, that there'd be a better time to put an end to the pitiful lives of your kin.
"Can't speak? What caused so, darling?" His tone was laced with smugness, a twisted joy elicited in him. "Fearful that your play amounted to nothing?"
Your jaw ticked with anger. You were furious. "I don't believe you. You are lying."
Your trust on humans was commendable, he'd give you that. However, there's stark contrast between faith and blind belief. You were inclining towards the latter.
So, what do they do when words fail to convey message? Oh right, you give them a prime example.
"Let me just show it to you then, wife."
It was a gamble, he was willing to make. To keep you with him, forever, as he wanted - he needed you to know that no place other than his arms would be as comforting. Even if that meant breaking your very soul, so be it.
.
You were home.
One moment, Sukuna held your gaze. The next, you are standing before your hearth.
Toes dipping into the familiar black soil, the land where you ran and played during your childhood. Your familial home stood steps away from you. Still looked the same except the visible cracks on the wall, a layer of dust on top of the door and the woods looked worn out. However, what caught your eyes weren't the flaws of your home but the familiar older woman walking into your home.
"Mother…"
She stilled all of a sudden, rotating on her heels, her eyes landed on you. Shell shocked, that's what she was with the widened eyes and parted lips. A small smile curved up on your lips, she still looked the same except the few grey hairs and wrinkles aside her eyes.
"Mother," You called again, taking a step towards her. "I am back."
Sooner than you expected, her eyebrows scrunched up, mouth curving down when she finally registered your presence. You weren't some illusion or her mind playing tricks. "What are you here for?"
The disdainful tone caused you to flinch. You didn't expect this. Returning home, you dreamt of it to be filled with tears of joy and warm embraces. Not this… whatever, she was presenting you with. But- But its fine, you have returned after a two whole years. She must have been worried. The reason of her apprehension. God, you had a lot making up to do.
"Well, you know," You chuckled lightly, scratching the back of your neck. "Back… just back. I have returned."
"Found your way after two years?" She crossed her arms over her chest, staring at you with a look you didn't want to recognize.
You nodded, "Yes. How could I forget my way? Our address, its-"
You were interrupted when your name was spit out from her mouth. Her glare on you was palpable, "I know what it is. What are you here for?"
Her fury even made your skin crawl with fear. You were often on the receiving end of her glare when you were a child, given by your tendencies to run around and cause trouble for others. Yet, those glares, were none like this. This- this- you didn't want to name what it was.
"You are angry," You don't know if its directed towards your mother or yourself as you hold onto the last bit of fragments that not all is lost. "I get it, I really do." You stood on your toes, attempting to look behind her, into your house. "Where's father? Tell him, I am-"
"No more."
As if the air was knocked out of your lungs.
"What?" Your neck craned towards her so fast, it might have left a sprain. Yet, that was the least of your concern. "What do you mean by no more?"
"No more means no more." Your mother's sigh fell heavy on the air, words carried the weight of the world. Laid with pain underneath.
"How- when? Wha-what happened?" You couldn't wrap your mind around the new discovery. No one told you such. Who could've guessed? Such an ordeal to occur in your absence. And what might she be going through, without you. You didn't even get the chance to talk to him, one last time.
"A year ago," She confessed, her voice conveyed her lament and sorrow. Her words felt like a hammered blow on the fragile façade of hope, you had intricately crafted for yourself. However, she wasn't done. Her eyes held scorn, lips curled up to a sneer. "Aren't you satisfied? You finally made your mark. Must tell you," Her voice, once filled with love held nothing save for contempt, directed at you. "Good game, you played, dear." She spit the endearment as if, it were poison.
"No, I- I never wanted any of this. What are you even talking about?" A trembling footfall towards her, you whispered, "M-mother-"
"Don't you dare call me that."
The weight of her judgement felt heavy on you, pressing down, suffocating you alike chains.
"You are no daughter of mine."
You weren't aware since when the tears had sprang up your eyes, breaking the barricades, they shed down. Your throat burnt as you struggled to even breathe, clutching your chest - a searing pain shooting in your heart. Your heart was shattering from the ultimate rejection from your own flesh and blood.
"While you're at it, know this." Your mother continued.
The next words were like a blow to the gut, each syllable lined with the weight of revelations. Ones that hung in the air like a funeral shroud.
"In his last moments, his only regret was bringing a daughter like you in this world."
.
This night just doesn't seem to end, does it?
You were left as a hollow shell. Tethering the steps away from the home you were no more welcomed. Exhaustion reigned heavy on you. Physically and mentally.
Where were you going? You didn't know. Just where your feet would take you, there would you go. Perhaps, you can return to Sukuna. Would he take you back? Most probably not. Considering, your earlier outburst, adding to the fact that you refused to give him what you want; he might just discard you as you proved to be useless.
Funny. It was so damn funny. Once, you wished to escape from his hands whatsoever the price yet now… now you considered returning to him.
You could hear him calling you pathetic. Disgusting. More disgusting, that you agreed with him.
You were truly pathetic.
But before you could spiral down the void of self-hatred, a voice- nah, multiple voices startled you.
"There she is, parading around some meek, innocent girl." A scoff is added. "You are far from it."
"The nerve of you to just walk back into our lives after you betrayed us."
Your neck cranes to your left, an old man - the village elder with a few other men and women following behind; they approached you. "Excuse me?"
"Who do you think you are?" A woman's cry reached your ears. "Returning after you turned your back on us."
You flinched at the accusation thrown. What could be possibly be instigating? To all your knowledge, you were walking in this- in your village after two long years. Anger, disdain and accusatory glares clouded their features. If your mother's insults weren't enough to pierce through your heart then it certainly did now, with all the people, you once called your own to look at you like you were the monster.
You summoned the least bit of courage you had, squared your shoulders and started, "I'd have you know-"
"Traitors don't get to speak." At the center of the crowd was the village elder. He was the pillars of your hamlet, revered for his wisdom and guidance, but now he looked akin a judge ready to deliver his sentence upon you. A sentence which would push you more into this conundrum. "You've been cavorting to that monster. Disgusting."
"I am no traitor." You retorted soon. "You can't accuse me of such when you don't ev-"
"Save it for someone who would care, whore."
The curse had your mouth parted in disbelief, horror etched upon your mien. Sooner than you could compose yourself, did whispers of agreement rippled through the crowd which branded you as a traitor.
"You are just as twisted as him."
"Get out of here if you so much as hold your life dear."
"Don't play as the innocent bitch, now."
The accusation hung in the air like a dark cloud, poisoning the atmosphere with its venomous hatred. Your breath was caught in your throat as you searched desperately for words to defend yourself; the crowd's hostility rendered you speechless. But amidst the cacophony of condemnation, one voice stood out above the rest.
I wonder, why this curse keeps protecting your pathetic life from people who would cross rivers to lay down yours?
Really? Were you really recalling his words now? Now of all times… You truly were pathetic.
For one moment, You just stayed silent - letting their accusations bore you down. Somewhere you wished all of it were just a nightmare. You'll soon wake up on your bed beside Sukun- fuck! Since when did you start to expect to wake up with him? He- He was toying with your mind. This was the only result. But the fact that this was your thought process had you recoil back.
The next moment, everything made sense.
These accusations were stemmed from the fact that you- you were proclaimed to be the wife of the King of curses. Your unwillingness to return, given for the pact you forged with Sukuna, was taken as your cue that you betrayed your family, your home, your people.
Your family despised you. Your people despised you. The very same people you chose to protect were turning their back on you.
Did they truly try to lay down your life?
Amidst your plight, you didn't register when the village elder marched up to you. "Didn't you hea-" His trial at speech was cut off. Nay, his lifeline was cut off. (Humorous, isn't it?)
Numerous red lines appeared on his body before it burst off into a globs of flesh and blood. Blood which splashed onto you, marring your visage and attire with its hues.
He was here. You knew it. You could feel it.
For some reason, it filled you with a sense of relief.
However, your people were on the other end of the rope. The eyes which afore held hatred and disgust, they were now filled with horror and fright. In this reverie as the villagers started to flee, a torch tumbled on the ground - lighting the grass on fire. The winds showed no mercy, as the howls increased, so did the flames.
Provoking him was never the right move.
You were digging your own grave.
So you shouldn't have been surprised that your wish would be granted. Yet, if you could have one wish then you'd wish for freedom but no- freedom was a forfeited dream, far beyond your reach. Consideration of that one would never be fruitful. You are trapped even in your dreams.
Playing with fire only gets you burnt.
For long, you played this game and this- this was your compensation. For everything you had done until now, all you are returned with was abandonment. Not that supposedly, betrayal, yes. More appropriate.
Flames surrounded you, crawling up your skin, the screams piercing your ears, your chest heaved up and down. Gaze, once settled on your hearth, now all you saw were the burning huts, the crackling of embers reached your ears. Attire and hands stained with blood of the insolent.
No one touches what's mine.
The warning shouldn't have been taken lightly. Should have known, the extent of his power.
Eyes held terror, fright, regret- whatever you could name. The multitude of names you received seemed no more than a distant dream, nowhere to be found. All were running away - expectable.
You expected calamity, but you were calm.
The sparks danced over your irises as everything went down in the crimson hues. Save for you, you weren't burning. Not an spark touched your skin. Was it the distance or the control? Who knows. But one confirmation which you held was that - tonight you won't die. Not so soon either.
Careful, not all Gods are worshipped.
The words rang in your ears and as if on cue, you found him again. In this trance of insanity, only one thing held your sight when you attempted to turn - The eyes tinted with crimson.
All of a sudden, something burnt inside you too.
Unbridled rage consumed you. Your chest heaved up and down as ragged breath left your mouth. Their words came back to you, ringing in your ears as if you were pushed into a void.
Who do you think you are? Returning after you turned your back on us.
Would this bitch even be alive if you prioritized yourself?
Don't play as the innocent bitch, now.
Is that the thanks you get for trying to protect them?
Traitors don't get to talk.
Traitor… fine, you'd be the traitor.
With caution you took one step towards him. No reaction. Your chance - you took another. Then another and another. You stood before him, with nothing save for a void etching your features. Amusement flickered over him, the corner of his lip curled up.
"Saw it for yourself wife?"
Seemed like silence was your go-to response lately. From your peripheral, you saw the burning houses, the distant screams reached you. For some reason, the screams were almost soothing. You revelled in this. Their gut wrenching shrieks were like a balm to your essence.
Their predicament was your solace.
Sounded like someone you knew. Someone who had warned you about them but you chose to remain ignorant. Sickening… were you becoming like him?
You were always like me, wife.
You could laugh. Maybe you were like him.
"Let's forge another pact?" You offered, keeping your eyes pinned on him.
"A pact?"
"A pact."
A smirk curved up his lips, the upper pair of arms crossed over his chest, "Humour me, love."
The smirk wasn't directly for you. But he did. So you returned it too. An equal one with an equal malicious intent. Cause in that moment, no second thoughts, no doubts clouded your mind. And so, you uttered the blasphemy:
"You kill them all, each and everyone. In return, I will stay with you, give you an heir. Whatever you want from me."
.
A year later
Screams died down after a gruelling ten hours.
"Good news, Sukuna sama. It's a boy."
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A/N: Honestly, I was almost done with this fic, long ago but while writing the climax, I kept thickening out with all the self-doubts but then I just wrote what I wanted. I do understand if the ending is not up to your liking and I sincerely apologize for it.
However, thanks for reading up till the end. I enjoyed writing this a lot. Some feedback is appreciated <3
479 notes · View notes
kisses4reid · 2 days
Text
big change | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,
summary - cutting spencer’s hair results in more than just a ‘big change’ appearance wise.
genre - fluff!!!!! cutesy yearning
warnings - idk u scared of haircuts?? scissors??? kissing?? (barely edited btw)
a/n - sometimes i black out and write a fanfic and then find it later on and then i’m like shit this kinda fire and then i edit it and then i post it and then-
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You roll your chair over to Spencer’s desk after much staring, and rest an elbow on a low stack of manila folders. Your sneakers squeak as you slow yourself, causing a visible flinch from the long haired boy.
His brunet hair was flicked up at the ends which touched his shoulders, the front pieces tucked behind his ears. As he lifted his gaze, hard expression softening immediately, you whispered, “I know your secret.”
His smile jolted, heart beat quickening. You had a cheeky smile on, hair twirling between your fingers, talking so low. You couldn’t possibly know his secret.
“Oh yeah, what’s that?” He asked, placing his pen down and turning to give you his full attention.
“You don’t know how to cut your hair.” His long hair suited him, you thought he looked as handsome as he did on your first day of work how many years ago. The day Spencer fell in love.
Dumbfounded, Spencer replied with a pout, “I know how to cut my hair.”
You raised an eyebrow, and suddenly he was aware of the jagged lines and length of his hair, and how he was now bringing hair ties with him everywhere. Which was actually convenient for all female members of the team. He had to admit, it was inconvenient at times, and it wasn’t his favourite to deal with or to look at. He looked back into your sparkling expecting eyes, smiled softly, and continued, “You should cut it for me.”
You lifted your head from your palm and raised your eyebrows, a pink flush ghosting your cheeks. The offer was innocent, it was a favour, but something about it felt so domestic in your head that you couldn’t help but smile hard, cheeks pressing, “Yeah, of course.”
You pushed off his desk and returned to yours, though his gaze never left your sunny appearance.
The next day, you were knocking on a familiar apartment door, rocking on your sneaker heels, eyes wandering anywhere but where you thought Spencer would be when he opened the door. But even when he did open his door, after a thud and small ‘ow’, you couldn’t help but look at him and savour the last moments with his long hair.
He had a navy blue sweater over a white t-shirt, some sweatpants that looked more formal from afar, and mis-match socks on. You gulped and stepped into his apartment, taking everything in as if you hadn’t been there before.
You took off your light purple scarf and placed it on the kitchen counter, along side the small hair cutting kit you had gotten a few years ago (you couldn’t afford a hair cut before your first day at the BAU, it was a diy emergency).
The apartment was dark and cosy, cabinets a rich wood tone, countertops squeaky clean, couches plush and thrifted. You two often talked about the best thrift stores to visit, you had even planned to go to one together one day. As Spencer pulled a wooden bar stool into the kitchen to sit on, you tied your own hair up, reminding yourself of why you were here.
He smelt amazing, like a new book and burnt marshmallow, and as he gazed into your eyes waiting for you to speak, a cat caught your tongue. You were alone in this warm apartment, only the soft music of Spencer’s old playlist in the background, and a heart beating that you weren’t sure was yours or his.
“Um- Okay. Do you have a reference photo or?”
“Yeah,” he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and showed you a reference photo. It was like he wanted to be a boy band member, and as you imagined him with it, you couldn’t be happier.
He got nervous watching your reaction, it was a very drastic change. You placed his phone on the counter top next to your hair kit, his eyes following your every move like if he blinked you would dissipate. And when a small smile ghosted your face, he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders.
"I like it."
"Good."
You leaned close to Spencer, your heat radiating onto him, to pull a lever on his chair to lower him to your eye level. A spray bottle appeared in your hand while the other covered Spencer's brown eyes. Suddenly, cold sprits of water caused Spencer to flinch every time he heard the trigger fire, causing you to giggle lightly. "It's just water." "I didn't get any warning though." He replied sheepishly. He couldn't hear much over his heartbeat, or see much other than you.
The next 15 minutes was spent in radio music and being surrounded by your sweet perfume, trying not to grab you or touch you as much as he wanted to. You were stood in front of him now, eyes focused on his bangs and the hair around his ears, scissors and comb in hand, and he couldn't stop gazing into your eyes like a little boy looking at the stars.
You were utterly gorgeous, beautiful, unreal. Spencer often wondered, especially at the start of your relationship, how nobody else had tried to date you in the team, or in general. But as the two of you grew closer, he realised you were telling everyone no. You were waiting for someone, and it made his heart break everytime he remembered your words.
If only he knew. Your hands jittered slightly, feeling insecure at his hard gaze that you simply couldn't ignore. You hoped in the dim lighting he couldn't see your red cheeks or steep breaths, or that he could. You hoped you never finished cutting his hair, and you thought of other ways you could stay this close. He was tall, warm, comfortable. He was smart, caring, clean. He was Spencer, who wouldn't want to stay with him? A gulp escaped you, and he ripped his eyes off of yours, looking down to avoid your eyes and to see the damage.
There was piles of hair beneath your feet now, and he smiled at the sight.
"Spencer, stop moving your head. I couldv'e cut off your eyebrows." Your laugh filled the apartment, and he looked back up at you.
He hadn't realised how far you had gotten, your eyes scanning his hair for any improvements before a small smile of approval appeared on your cheeks. A breath escaped him. You turned to close your kit. He stood up and placed a hand on the front of your neck, turning your head, and planting his lips on yours.
You squeaked in surprise, quickly kissing back as his hands traveled to your cheeks, holding onto you like you were the only girl in the world. Your fingertips splayed on his chest, you pulled away only to be followed for another kiss, only broken up by a millisecond of a breath.
You opened your eyes and pushed him softly away, noticing the lipstick now stained on his lips and around them. The dim kitchen was spinning, your chest was heaving, and your heart was racing a million beats per minute. You even got a little light-headed before Spencer took his hands from your face and rest them on your waist.
He was much taller now that he wasn't sat, and he looked even more handsome with the haircut you had given him. For a second you thought you were hallucinating. Spencers eyes played between your lips and your eyes, before meeting you in the middle once again. He lifted you slightly, kissing you with movements full of yearning and passion, slowly with multiple breaths in the middle to give you time to reject him (which he expected), but you never did.
You put one hand on his cheek as he pulled away. He smiled widely at you, taking the enthusiasm back as a good sign. He didn't totally fuck up. You whispered, "You kiss your barbers often?" He replied with a cheeky smile, "Only you."
taglist: @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es
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gotchibam · 1 day
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Does anyone here draw in both desktop & mobile? I'm planning to get a galaxy tab at some point and since I don't really have any experience drawing on a (mobile) tablet, I'm curious abt how it feels to draw on one vs. drawing on pc w/ a graphic tablet 🤔
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neonross · 6 hours
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hello there, sorry to barge in but i was wondering if i could ask a few questions about your royalty welcome home au? i've tried to find certain answers for them but can't find them so i thought i'd just ask here
where is home in this au? i haven't seen or found anything about where or what they are, im really curious (especially if they have to do with the spades)
are there other sets of kingdoms? such as a chess kingdom? if they exist, would they be across seas? and would the card kingdoms know about them?
whats your opinion on people adding fanmade content and ideas to your au as little side 'what if's?
take your time replying to this (if you do lol) and thank you for the effort! your arts really good :>
heres a funky skeleton image as an appreciation for you
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Ight, well the reason why ya can't find em iz cause' they're piling on my ask box and I haven't rlly been inclined to answer them,
Yes, I've seen y'all's ask and as much I want to answer them, im still building up stuff and I don't want to just spew out all my thoughts like that
and yeh im still working on yeh ik I look like I've moved on, im a multifandom person, I jump to multiple interest and back all the time,
1. As per ur questions, home is there, that's as much as I'll say
2. And we'll currently be on the map the 4 kingdoms are the only ones visible which the 4 symbols of cards
There are other kingdoms over sees but they basically unknown, but idk silly fact, Eddie isn't from any of the kingdoms and neither is sally
3. I don't have a problem with it lmao, I kinda find it endearing that ppl come up with their own ideas, (I mean proly cuz I barely share my info but yeh)
Doesn't rlly bother me, as long as they clear up that's it
Their ideas and not smthn I stated to be canon to royalty, I don't want to discourage people, but I don't want people to get confused
(side note: sorry if I sound a lil blunt, just tryna be clear with stuff and well- a lil tired while replying to this)
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gophergal · 10 months
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Life on the farm
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🤧🐀🌧️🌊
#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn#trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come#nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired#i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u#also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my#eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm#bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna#be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk#idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not#sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow#nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just#dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol#im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired#i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do#anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can
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alonolaart · 1 year
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TIAGO – "This is the Church of the Mother of Silence. You are welcome here." He sways gently on the beams, waiting for you to take it all in.
Another in my series of Disco Elysium patches. This one was at the request of my partner 🦀
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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...
#just an observation bc im avoiding working on stuff but i draw a lot and post basically everything i draw thst gets finished#and its v funny to me how u can tell how out of focus i was based on the quality of the drawing#or like when i post something and its like ok some of that was good but u def gave up halfway thru one of those lol#inconsistency i funny like that. its also funny to me that now a days i get comments like COLORS!!!#which is funny bc i notoriously haaaaaate coloring. like i will sit around whining and complaining when im home with my parents bc i dont#wanna color. its just so easy to fuck things up when u draw traditionally and it takes a million years so its a big ask lol#but i guess i dont hate is so much right now bc i kinda just slap whatever colors i want together like fuck it we ball#and thats kinda fun. reckless i suppose#its agony when u wanna try to do shadows and lights tho. like finding references ugh#or wanting to draw big ideas but then its like oh god its gonna take so long and if i dont do it all in one sitting i might die#im a lil better abt thst now bc it would b impossible but in my head i still hate it#ugh. all i wanna do is draw. theres another universe where i went to art school. or just like took art classes. and i wanna say id b happier#but thats def a lie XD i like learning too much and i dont have the attention span to hardcore learn genetics outside an academic#environment. and i got way too excited abt exploring the genetic traits of my cyano species#like i can make genetics trees for traits and look for. fuck. i forgot the word. how tf did i forget the word. oh god. horizontal gene#transfer. jesus christ its like theres a hole in my brain. well. i guess i did get only like 4hrs sleep. ugh im rambling.#i need to finish getting ready for Monday so i dont have to tomorrow and ill have time to draw. prob wont stop me feeling nauseous abt#teaching tho. OH FUCK. i just remembered i have a new office space now to decorate. fuck i need to hang up pictures and stuff#what would b the funniest way to put narut0 on my deskspace? idk ill have to think abt it. oh god im not ready#my head is like a handbell. one of the big ones when u ring it and it hits soft and u can feel the vibrations. someones wrung my head lol#unrelated
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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The best feeling in the world is when there’s a piece of media you know you love and you’ve hyped it up as your favorite thing for so long but you haven’t revisited it in a while so you start to worry if it’s really as good as you make it out to be and so you go back and revisit it and it’s like. Oh this is even better than I remembered this shit rules
#the klock keeps ticking#i always get this feeling when i play 999 but tonight i got it with the letter#cuz ive uh finally decided to bite the bullet and play the evil meanie route where everyone dies 😟#a route ive put off for so long cuz its just too damn sad to think about akjdksk god it hurts#and ive played like for the most part every route of this game EXCEPT this one but i know the ending is really dark and i need to see it#plus i will at least get my beloved torture scene in so thats nice#i didnt kill off isabella though its a coma route which i hope still allows me to get the ending i want cuz i mean shell still be out of#commission in the final scene so hopefully it works out#but yeah no i started off tonight on the marianne chapter and while i did skip around through it cuz ive played it many times and i just#wanna get to the important stuff already alskj i also just replayed some of the best parts#aka the shit where lorraine appears and the gay shit alksks and god like hnnnghh not only does this chapter still ruin me emotionally#i also just remembered why i love this character so much and remembered just how good the character writing in this game is#and i also played into the rebecca chapter and didnt skip as much cuz i actually am not as familiar with the coma route#cuz it makes me sad and i never revisited it lol and i havent gotten to The Scene that makes me sob yet#its so coming though dont worry but idk i guess its just been cuz ive been thinking about p3 so much lately#and in particular shinji both the death route and coma route but in particular the coma cuz thats what im writing#and damn lol the letter just writes the grief and nuanced relationships and death stuff so much better lol god#like marianne loses her childhood best friend whom she has a gay ass relationship with to suicide and like its just better#she blames herself and still isnt even kinda okay with it after 13 years#like it just fucking ruined her and the only thing keeping her from losing it is her repression and drinking problem and unattached sex#and then with coma route well fucking first off isabellas friends actually like. visit her frequently damn#and they just all have such unique ways of coping like Zach is being optimistic so no one gets too upset#rebecca is sorta in charge of making sure everything goes smoothly she has to contact the family and make big decisions#and shes also just taking the most stress and shes got so many complicated feelings around isabella going on but she genuinely cannot stand#that isabella is hurt shes fucking destroyed she loves isabella and then ashton AAAAA god yeah i also just remembered that hes SUCH a good#character hes like being a genuine asshole right like Rebecca calls to tell him that isabella is comatose now and he literally doesnt let#her say anything he literally says ‘i dont have time for other things rn’ like the wellness of his friend is just ‘other things’#but you just know thats not it not at all hes burying himself in work to the point of destruction so he can figure out who did this and make#everything okay and he refuses to show even an ounce of vulnerability cuz THE SECOND HE DOES IT ALL COMES OUT AND HE CANT GET OUT OF BED#ANYMORE CUZ HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WHEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IS DYING
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meep--tm · 1 year
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:)
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dallonwrites · 1 month
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organised everything i have for it so far + tentatively cut some things (that i may put back if i find there’s missing beats but otherwise they were kinda unnecessary for the current vision) and refined my chapter two outline so if i have time at work tomorrow i can play around with it and write something like yayyyy i love when past me sets myself up like this
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I wish twdg explored more on how though human beings can become closer through awful times…..sometimes that’s not always the case
#I mean I know they technically do that in the games but it feels half-ssed#I feel like they could’ve made that comparison with comparing clementines new group in season 2 to her old one#and have internal turmoil over why her first group couldn’t get along like these guys#why they couldn’t stop arguing for two seconds why they wanted each other dead most of the time#why they coudnt stand being in the same presence of each other and wishing they could just leave without the threat of death#and also make a comparison on how much worse it could’ve gotten with season 3#show a group or town that is worse then both her groups#to really drive in the complication of something like this#and then with season 4 bring in a group that’s smart but naive maybe inexperienced#that way you can have all different types of groups to really round out humanity and how different people react in situations like this#and heck for the extras bring in more group dynamics that range from toxic to somewhat manageable#cause in the end twdg is about humans and humanity and how terrible it can really get BECAUSE of them#so why not drive that home fully#just a thought#my stuffy stuff#twdg#ideas#opinions#text#to add depth have that group not be as perfect as they seem let them have flaws that are and aren’t glaringly obvious to the character#have a character finally show their true colors and decide if it’s worth it or not(kinda like lily but less stupid)#idk I feel like it could’ve been cool#probably wouldn’t work as a long game though(then again the actual games aren’t that long to begin with)
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yelloworangesoda · 3 months
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omg that moment when u realize that your two closest (only?) friends dont think of you as nearly as close and youre only one of their 20+ friends and they. are each one of your 2 friends😀
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yangjeongin · 4 months
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alildritten · 7 months
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Ah yes, the scariest story of all:
G A Y
(/j)
#alright time for context in the tags!! your favorite show!!! yippee!#yeah so anyway basically i was thinking up fictional scenarios with my ocs (of course as always)#and i was thinking about hey! so what about this werewolf character. yknow? silver? what if we thought about when they were a little kid#and stuff. you know? why not and all and so i was having fun with that thinking about how theyd have had to keep their werewolf-ness#a secret. but their parents know and are trying to keep it a secret as well and what-not#and one day silver gets invited to a sleepover. yknow. at night. theyre a werewolf??? that wouldnt go well#other than the fact that they can control that wolf form?? (i need to figure out what to call it)#so itd be fine but its supposed to be a secret because if people knew silver would be reported to the authorites because in that universe#humans do exist they just kicked any weird hybrid or beast or whatever off onto another planet#jokes on them the little beasties are doing fine and after a bit of adjusting and working on fitting into the new world#that theywere forced onto with no way back#they have a whole civilization and are doing great!!! but everytime that the humans on their world realize someones like. a werewolf or#a vampire or anything. WELP BYE-BYE HAVE A NICE TRIP#and well theres a new orphan in town on the other world! well heck hopefully they live alright and maybe get adopted?#BUT ANYWAY OFF TRACK WHOOPS so basically silvers parents are like ‘no. you cant’ but silver’s friends had asked several times in the past#and really wanted to have a sleepover with silver. idk and so basically silver writes a note saying ‘hey i did go sorry bout that-#dont worry i got it covered i can keep my wolf formt hing hidden no worries’ or something basically says that and goes to the sleepover#(friends think silver finally got permission) and wow i just realized this is a long story heck lemme try and shorten a little#and eventually at one point they all wanna tell scary stories cause why not#and once i got there my brain kinda kept pausing and then swoosh new train thought woahh!!#and started thinking about a cute scenario about two ocs of mine who are VERY GAY hehe <3#but i thought it was a bit funny because i realized that i was about to have some lil kids tell each other scary stories and then woop brain#go hey think about this cute gay scenario!! so ah yes. cute gay scenario=SCARY (/j)#does this even make any sense at all i genuinely dont know but i had fun talking about ocs so yea ima sleep now#have a good day/night to you!!! <333 YIPPEE anyway bye bye goodnight bla bla bla woohoo
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running-in-the-dark · 5 months
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I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it
#every single time I love a character I also start to love the actor. sometimes that sucks. I don't want to. I want to pretend he doesn't#exist#but he's got the same face and the same body and the same voice and I just. how do I not do this.#I don't like him. I don't want to like him. he's at the very least kinda gross about women. which I'm not okay with. so. just. ugggh#it's just that I look at him and my mind shuts off and it's like 😍🥰😍#rationally I know that's also fine. I'm allowed to like people who aren't perfect (and no one is perfect anyway)#buuut. it makes me feel disgusting.#idk. I guess I just. i dealt with this for so long when I was younger because like. most of the men I thought were hot were also#misogynistic. because the culture at the time was so much worse. and it was just accepted.#and I fucking hated it and I don't want to deal with that anymore#it's just. idk. it feels gross and bad and I don't like it#but. I do find him extremely attractive and I want him so so bad and I don't know what to do with that#ugh I need to just. not be attracted to people. it happens so rarely but when it does it only causes trouble.#or maybe I need to get over these weird morality standards that I have but I don't think that's possible? like how would that work? I don't#get it.#anyway. yes this is about Eliot/CK no I won't elaborate on that and also I hope he's actually a great guy and everything I've seen#that made me think otherwise is just wrong#I will still stare at his face and think about him and listen to his stupid gross music all day. and I will enjoy it. but I will also#feel conflicted about it 😔#(but damn it he is hot and his arms are big and I am just a human being and I am very very weak 😫 big arms make me fucking stupid)
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