#but i think the two most important things are that wyatt actually allowed some real gods honest emotion to come outta his mouth
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Brynn: You are much more silent than usual today-.. are you going to miss me?
Wyatt was going to miss Brynn a great deal, but telling her that seemed harder than it ought to be, so he said naught instead.
Brynn: You are not comfortable being happy?
Wyatt squinted, something Brynn had learnt he tended to do when she was on the right track.
Brynn: Maybe you should not fight yourself.
Wyatt: Maybe you only know I feel that way because you’re the same.
And as she tended to do when he was right, Brynn dodged Wyatt’s comment.
Brynn: Do you think I stay, if you asked me to?
Wyatt: I don’t think you want me to ask that.
Brynn: No, I don’t…
Wyatt: Do you want to stay though..?
Brynn: I not sure it’s a good idea to leave home-.. not for a man I spend only a few weeks with.
Wyatt’s brow creased, though he quickly rearranged his face; she had a point, whether he liked it or not.
Brynn: Does that hurt your feelings?
Wyatt: No…
Brynn hummed and tugged on Wyatt’s hand, forcing him to stop and face her. It was obvious he was lying. He wanted to know whether this was just a holiday fling to her, or something more, but every time he even thought about doing so it felt like someone had rammed cotton wool down his throat. He’d promised himself he’d be more honest, but it wasn’t going as well as he’d hoped…
Wyatt: What exactly would you be leaving behind? I doubt you’ve exactly made anything for yourself there-.. not with Gael’s arm to cling to.
Wyatt instantly regretted being so blunt as Brynn frowned slightly, a flash of sadness darting across her features.
Brynn: That is a cruel thing to say, no?
Wyatt: Maybe-.. though I’ve a feeling I���m right, so I’m not taking it back.
Brynn narrowed her eyes, he was right, of course. She had nothing of her own in San Myshuno. Everything she owned, down to the clothes on her back, had been paid for by Gael. She’d never thought about leaving before, she had everything she ever needed, technically-.. but spending time with someone who wasn’t afraid to interrogate her about such matters finally made her question her innermost protests, rather than burying them.
She didn’t like Gael, she didn’t like his friends or his apartment, she didn’t want him to propose, didn’t want to marry him, didn’t want to carry his children. It wasn’t ever supposed to be permanent; she wanted a life of her own…
Wyatt: Well?
Brynn: I not argue with you on my last day here.
Wyatt: We’re not arguing, are we?
Brynn: Exactly!
Wyatt ran his hand through his hair and sighed, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He needed more. He was desperate to know how she felt before she left, desperate to know how she’d gotten herself into this situation, whether she wanted out or not. He thought she did, but for once, he wasn’t sure of himself.
Wyatt: I just meant-…
He huffed as Brynn leapt on his back with a chuckle, that was the end of that then. He’d never realised until now how socially inept he was with women-.. no, intimacy; but Brynn didn’t seem to mind, maybe she could relate. He was willing to bet she knew what he was struggling with. It almost seemed as though she were goading him into being honest, like he craved to be.
Brynn: Let’s find somewhere nice-.. if you tell me what you meant, maybe I tell you a story.
He shook his head and snorted, amused; that was definitely what she was doing, wasn’t it?
Wyatt had done a lot of terrible things over the years. Amongst countless other felonies he’d taken more than a few lives - some with his bare hands - but no crime he’d committed had ever caused his heart to beat as erratically as it did now. Against his “better” judgement and despite his pounding chest, he’d held Brynn close and told her how he felt.
He told her how much he’d enjoyed spending time with her, how pleased he’d be if she stayed, and how curious he was about her situation back in San Myshuno. Brynn had softened upon hearing his words, appreciative of his honesty; and in return, she’d told him how she and Gael met…
Brynn hadn’t left Del Sol to begin with, choosing instead to remain employed by Varius, which had eventually been taken over by new management. Never embroiled in Ashton’s more nefarious business ventures, the casino and its franchise hadn’t suffered much, remaining completely operational as a result.
Gael was in town for family and work, hauled to the top floor by some of his rather more enthusiastic associates. Clearly uncomfortable, she’d taken him aside and entertained him in a different manner-.. she’d clocked him eyeing a handsome waiter surreptitiously, felt him recoil from her touch; he might’ve fooled his colleagues, but he hadn’t fooled her. Enjoying an easy night full of free drinks and cheesy jokes, she’d thought nothing of his proposition to attend an upcoming event with him the following weekend.
The event Gael had invited her to was a wedding – his brother’s wedding – and Brynn had suddenly found herself referred to as his girlfriend. She’d thought it quite funny at the time, what an odd man, paying an erotic dancer to pose as one’s partner. The money was good though, and it was much more enjoyable than working in some stuffy club, even one as fancy as Varius.
But as things do, one thing led to another and before Brynn could second guess herself, she’d agreed to move to San Myshuno and stay with Gael permanently. Genesis had seen her arse about Brynn’s newfound source of income, her friends Ace and Robert had moved away, Del Sol was smoggy and garish, held memories she’d rather forget; why wouldn’t she move back to San My? She’d have her own room in a spacious apartment, she wouldn’t have to work, Gael said he’d pay for her to finish school; it seemed like a good idea at the time, like she could have whatever she wanted.
Except she couldn’t. Gael was a controlling - albeit kind - man, terrified of being discovered by his peers. He told her where to go and when, what to wear, what to say, and how to act. He’d take her phone from her if she’d get distracted at one of his precious galas, force her to attend wellness retreats with his colleagues’ insipid girlfriends and wives whilst he and his friends smacked tiny balls with silly sticks, drag her on family vacations to hot countries where she’d get accosted by mosquitoes and prickly heat.
He’d bemoan her lack of enthusiasm when she wasn’t her usual self, but it’d been so many years that Brynn didn’t even know who she was anymore. He’d felt guilty then, promising she could pick their next destination; that it’d be just the two of them, no pretending.
Brynn had never imagined bumping into Wyatt again, but she’d often thought of him, wondering what he’d done after that fateful phone call. She’d almost felt proud of him, in a way-.. it wasn’t easy to turn against your upbringing like that, against your friends, against yourself. She’d given him the benefit of the doubt and he hadn’t taken it for granted, which was more than could be said for a lot of men she’d trusted in the past.
Having landed herself in hot water more times than she could count over the years, Brynn had learnt to be wary of her gut, but she couldn’t deny being drawn to Wyatt; she admired the change in him, despite the fact he seemed unaware of it himself. It was freeing to spend time with someone who didn’t expect her to act a certain way, someone who knew where she’d come from and what she’d been through, yet didn’t appear to judge her poorly for it. He’d done terrible things and so had she; it was nice, being on an even playing field for once.
Brynn had subsequently returned home more disheartened than ever, completely uninterested in her so-called life with Gael. She’d hoped Wyatt would call, hoped she’d get a taste of that freedom in her self-imposed cage, hoped something would magically change. But it hadn’t.
Wyatt: So, you’re not happy anymore?
Brynn: I am very happy here, with you-.. but that scares me.
Wyatt: Why?
Brynn: Because it means I have to confront the fact that I am not happy at home, and that is something I have never done before. I always find someone to take me in, but is always with conditions, I am never free-.. never happy.
Wyatt: Are you safe at least..?
Brynn: It is painfully boring, sharing a home with Gael, but he is not exactly aggressive.
Wyatt scowled; not exactly? That wasn’t what he wanted to hear, he ought to strangle-..
Brynn: I not want you to get involved, I think I would like to do something on my own for once.
Wyat: Okay…
Brynn: I put my foot down and leave, even if it means I have nothing. I not want to run to anyone else, including you.
Wyatt: That’s why you don’t want to stay?
Brynn nodded, it would’ve been easier to tell Gael to stuff it and stay here, but that was what she always did; fall into someone else’s hands. Being with Wyatt was different though, it made her want to choose him because she wanted to, because she could, not because she needed to. If that meant she had to throw everything away and strike out on her own first – even though she had no idea how to – then so be it.
Though he was glad to know the truth, Wyatt was less than thrilled with Brynn’s plan; but she craved true freedom, and after everything she’d endured – in part due to his own transgressions – he figured he owed her as much.
Wyatt: I won’t stop you then…
Brynn: This is why I love you-.. you help set me free in the end, like I to you.
Wyatt: You love me?
Brynn: You love me too, no?
Wyatt dipped his head in agreement. He wasn’t sure how it’d happened so quickly, but there wasn’t much point denying it any longer.
Brynn: Say it…
Wyatt: I love you too.
Brynn: Is not so hard, right?
Wyatt scoffed quietly and shook his head.
Wyatt: I don’t know-.. I’m sweating.
Brynn: [laughs] Ew-.. me too though.
Previous // Next
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#wyatt shaw#brynn franz#hnnnnng#lookit them.. telling the truth to each other n talking properly n shit#maybe they've been replaced by aliens 🤷♀️#there's so much to unpack here..#but i think the two most important things are that wyatt actually allowed some real gods honest emotion to come outta his mouth#for the first time in like forever..#and that even if we don't agree with brynn - past future or present - she should get the chance to decide her own fate for once#and he GETS it#;-;#this is why she cried on the mountain.. cos for the first time in forever she felt free#stood on top of the world like that she realised she's the captain.. n even if jumping off the ship is scary#maybe she'll find some land#u kno#maybe even a slightly reformed wyatt too ¯\(°_o)/¯#bwuhh#neway.. u asked for this essay so i hope u enjoyed it 😆
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Knot In Love - Alpha!Dean x Omega! Reader
A/N: Part Fourteen is back. Again, where it’s a daily thing? I am not tagging anyone new. 3pm is the magical time, usually. As always, feedback is incredible. And, I hope you all enjoy one of my favorites <3
PSA: I am NOT a minor friendly blog. If you are below 18, please come back when you’re older. I don’t want to lose my blog because you were too eager to grow up. If I discover you, I WILL block.
Series Masterlist
Series Warnings: Forced mating. Knotting. Alpha/Omega dynamics. Witchcraft (more based on real craft than Hollywood). Angst. Etc. Read at your own discretion.
Word Count: Roughly 3,000
“You look tired,” Dean was still too chipper. It was throwing you off in the worst way. Doesn't he feel it?
“And you actually look chipper,” You grumbled back, trying to hold up the grudge. It was nearly impossible with the toothy grin you received. “Let me chug this coffee and I'll be good to go.”
You'd gone hunting in the dark for two separate places to dispose of the candles before you'd been able to take a shower and crawl into your own bed. You'd only gotten a hunter's night of sleep in the end. Leaving you further baffled by the boys' stamina.
“You're okay...right?” Suddenly serious, Dean brushed his finger against the healed skin. Drawing forth a small shiver as he inspected you. “I should have asked last night. But, you were out grounding yourself, or whatever, when I tried to find you. Kid said it was to help calm you down or something. Real important, anyway.” So, that's what Jack came up with. You mentally made note to thank him.
“I don't want to lie to you, Dean.” Your eyes closed as you forced yourself to resist leaning into his touch. Body still craving his. Demanding that he reaffirm the bond you were trying to dissolve. A step back was managed, losing the contact in the process. “Don't make me, okay?”
“How bad was it?” His lips pushed out as he demanded that you give it to him straight. No more bullshit.
The worst pain you'd ever felt had been at his hands. You'd be damned if you threw that in his face. Not when he was on the up.
“It doesn't matter.” You forced the words out. It really didn't. Able to resist him in the moment. The mark was still there. Though you told yourself it looked and felt lighter. That spells took time when they involved something that complex. The thought soothed you. “It's over.”
The finality in your tone made something inside of his chest clench. As if he knew that you weren't just talking about what you'd gone through. Dean rubbed his hand over his own mark, then. Watching as you retreated behind a smile filled with secrets. Guilt eating away at his insides once the high of finding Cas had worn down.
“I didn't think,” He spoke up as you turned to walk away. Every piece of him demanded that he explain. “Not until I was in there. Then, I told myself that you didn't have time to feel it.”
“Most people wouldn't have,” You allowed, hoping that would be the end of it as you hunted down the sugar. It wasn't.
“Most people wouldn't have felt their mate's leg injury across state lines, Y/N,” Dean pointed out, desperately. Remembering the way you'd clung to him afterward. Why isn't she doing that now? “Nothing's ever been ordinary in my life. So, why would this be any different? I should have known better.” You didn't even turn to look at him. Didn't say a word. The lack of action more telling than anything you could have said. “I'm sorry.” His voice cracked a bit, then. He'd ignored it until he'd rested alone in his bed. His mind trailing over every detail of the day. Right to the stained gauze across your throat. “I'm so fucking sorry, 'mega.”
“You did what you had to, Dean.” The words were like acid in your throat. “You freed all of those souls.” You turned then, letting him look in your eyes. His pain was palpable. “We all do what we have to do in the end.” There was an aloofness in as you spoke. Enough to make his skin crawl. “When the bond's gone, it won't matter.” A sad smile crossed your lips, then. His blood chilled at that. You'd known. He'd never mentioned it to you. Not once after you'd brought it up. Yet there you were. Talking about the end as if it was a forgone conclusion. “We won't hurt each other, anymore.”
“You mean I won't hurt you,” His face tightened. Looking every bit the pain ridden warrior as he turned his head away. Wondering just how long you'd known he'd planned on breaking away from you. “Sam tell you, or Jody?”
“Let's be honest, Dean... You'll feel a little safer not being attached to a witch.” His jaw worked, then. You wouldn't give away your source. “That way, if I need put down? You can safely pull the trigger.” His breath stopped at the acidic words. “I didn't need anyone to tell me. It's been there since the night you found out what I was.”
“You really think that I could kill you?” There was that rare vulnerability there in his eyes. Shining bright as he wondered just how evil the world had begun to see him. How awful he had to be to inspire something so dark to fester in his own mate's mind.
“I think you'd do whatever you needed to save the world, Dean.” Even with the straight forward words, you couldn't stand the hurt that he was feeling. You reached up, rubbing his cheek with your hand. His skin was smooth from the fresh shave as he leaned in. Offering the only comfort you safely could. “Being with someone- something- that you can't completely trust? Makes it damn hard to do that.” You pressed a kiss to his other cheek before stepping back. Just as he turned to meet your touch with his own lips. “Chin up. You have your win, Winchester. It's going to get better. Mate or none.”
“I'm going to make it right, Y/N.” His words rang hollow. There were too many pieces inside of him that despised the idea. You'd recognized it before, but it was crystal clear in that moment. He was fighting his inner beast. And losing. “I'll snap the bond without all that fancy doctor crap. Make sure you get your second chance, down the road.”
“Don't worry about it, Dean.” The way you said the words sent an ominous shiver through him. “It'll be taken care of. For now? We have some zombies to hunt.” With that, you left the kitchen to go load up your bag. Making him wonder just what was going through that head of yours when he realized that he couldn't get a grip on what you were feeling.
–
“All right,” Dean led the charge down the hallway, carrying his suit in hand. The drive was over and he was done thinking for the day about anything other than what was surrounding him. “This is supposed to be the best room in the joint.”
“That doesn't say much,” You muttered, looking around. Jack smiled a bit beside you. The angel didn't seem too amused, though. Sending you another unreadable look over his shoulder.
“Oh, ho!” Your mate was a little too excited at the scene before you as the light switched on. “The Wild Bill suite.”
“I think I'm going to be sick,” Your eyes peered into the room. Nose curling in disgust.
Horns decorated the wall, but that wasn't all. Not even close. A cardboard cowboy stood tall, near a set of saloon doors. Staking claim to the room. He could have it as far as you were concerned.
The walls were covered with wanted posters and just about everything else that could be considered “cowboy”. Including an assortment of dead animals. You didn't need a closer inspection to know that they were real. Dean was chuckling in glee as he looked around; happier than a kid at Christmas.
“Wow,” Sam seemed to mirror your thoughts. Unimpressed with the décor.
“Pretty cool, right?” Instantly, the older Winchester found all the old images. Inspecting them with a sense of joy that you couldn't quite bring yourself to find. “Dude! Check it out.” The last phrase repeated another two times. You were quickly discovering that your mate was an old western dweeb. “Clay Allison.” He turned your way, beaming all the while, “Gun fighter extraordinary, right?” Then he was right back to those pictures, “And, uh.” His fingers pointed out another man with a hooked mustache and a small, square goatee, “Curly Bill Brocius.” He looked nothing like the cowboys you'd expected to see. “Which,” The enthusiasm was contagious, “now, now, now,” the pointed finger waved dramatically. “Little fun fact, here- was killed by Wyatt Earp, himself.” All eyes watched Dean. A mixture of confusion, disbelief, and mild entertainment filled the room. “Not kidding.” Another laugh left him as he walked. “Johnny Ringo, Billy The Kid...Oh, look!”
“He really likes cowboys,” Jack finally spoke. Watching the man he'd idolized act like a fool. He wasn't quite sure how to take the sudden switch in Dean. That much was obvious. You'd be lying if you said that you did, either.
“Hey, big guy,” Dean spoke to an image as if it could talk back. “How you doin'? That's...” His voice lowered as he kept talking to himself. Going a mile a minute. “What's going on Calamity Jane?”
“Yes.” Castiel answered his adopted child. “Yes, he does.” His voice was so dead panned that it almost sounded pained.
Another laugh emitted, making it a record in your presence, “Doc Holliday!” He whipped around, that damned grin on his face growing even bigger. You bit back a laugh, trying to look fascinated. “Hey-o!” A snort made its way out of your nose, but he didn't hear it.
“He's worse than me in a metaphysical shop,” You muttered, earning a twitch of the lips from Sam. Castiel didn't seem to find that amusing, either.
“This is awesome.” Dean spun in a little circle, taking in the room once again. “All right,” He got down to business. Kind of. “I say quick shower, steak dinner, and then tomorrow we hit up the cemetery.” His footsteps were brisk as he moved past the group of loved ones, all of which were still staring at him. No one moving a muscle right away.
“Sounds like a plan,” Sam managed as his brother hit the saloon doors. He sent a little grin your way, happy at his brother's glee, before turning to follow. Jack and Castiel simply turned to each other. Before they could speak, it continued.
“Oh, yes!” Dean grunted out loudly. “Stirrup hangers!” You winced at the thought. Didn't need to see it to imagine what he was excited about.
“You can have the couch,” Jack stated, monotone compared to the older Winchester. His comments were slightly lower, but still present. “I don't sleep very much.”
“I don't sleep at all.” Castiel turned to Jack, then. Both men then began looking around the room, again. Awkwardness hanging in the air.
“Okay...well, I'll just take the couch if no one else is willing.” You slid over to the red, offending furniture. “Split it with anyone who needs a catnap, or whatever. We can make this work.”
“Aren't you going to sleep with Dean?” The angel's voice sounded almost accusing. He didn't like you. Or, at the least, didn't trust you. Being a witch and all of that.
“Look,” Your hand found your hip. “Unless you want this already inconvenient trip to get even more disturbing? Having to listen to Dean get off- repeatedly- in the middle of the night? I think it's best that I sleep out here.” Your eyes fluttered innocently.
The worst part was that you weren't lying. You didn't trust either of your bodies after his temporary fatality. You had little doubt that someone would roll over. Then next thing you know 'P' meets 'V' in front of the entire family. No way in hell you were chancing that one.
“Yeah, no....” Jack trailed off, shaking his head. Shuddering at the very idea.
“You bring up a fair point,” Castiel allowed, cringing a bit at the thought as your mate and Sam discussed having a hat in the back room.
“I thought so,” With that, your bag was dropped on it before your body followed. Castiel's eyes landed on your mark as you bent down to make work of your shoes so that you could nab the shower first. Anything to chase away the bit of car sickness you'd felt. “If you wanna know something, feel free to ask.”
Jack turned to his father figure, then, “Cas?”
“Nothing. I just was lost in my thoughts.” You didn't buy it for a second. However, you weren't about to start a disagreement with Dean's win- the very thing he was discussing in the next room, over. Not then, anyway.
Later that night- or rather, early morning, you were wrapped up on the couch. Shrouded in the darkness. In a sleep light enough that you could still hear Jack asking all the questions he'd missed out on with Castiel gone over Dean's deep snoring in the back. Too much whiskey with dinner had led to the resounding noise.
When they got to Kelly, you told yourself not to listen. To give Jack his privacy. However, it never worked quite like that. Your heart was tugged at the way the angel described the woman. The same woman who's shoes you'd stumbled into. Then, there was a beep on the computer.
“Oh, wow!” Jack's voice pulled you the rest of the way out of your sleep. You blinked awake as he got to his feet. “I'll go tell them!”
“Jack!” Castiel hissed, following after him. You didn't get a chance to fully motivate before you joined the crowd. Opening the saloon doors as Jack poked the sleeping bear- literally- while whispering his name. “Jack, I wouldn't do that!”
The sound of a gun cocking and a deep cry filled the air as the weapon was aimed at the boy, “No!” Jack's hands were instantly in the air. Sam jerked awake in the next bed to see what the hell was going on. “No, no, Dean! It's me! It's me.”
“Dean!” You hissed out, your hand over your heart. The angel didn't look too worried, though. In fact, he looked downright done with life.
Your mate seemed to freeze, then. One eye was open, while the other was still squeezed tight. His mouth agape as he processed what was happening. His head turned to you and Castiel after a moment.
“Ah,” The gun was lowered, “hey.” Sleepy green eyes closed as the weapon made its way to the bedside table. “Who's making me coffee?”
He snuggled back into the bed. Looking more peaceful than any man had the right to be. Much less one that could've killed someone in a single second. Jack was breathing awfully hard when he turned back to you and Castiel, wide eyed. His short life had, no doubt, flashed before his eyes.
Jack was still watching Dean with a wary, shell shocked gaze when the coffee was ready. As if the sniffling, bleary eyed man was still a threat. You weren't much better, yourself. All eyes followed him as he sat onto your “bed” with a groan; rubbing his eyes.
“I told you,” Castiel leaned forward to Jack. “He's an angry sleeper.” You didn't argue that point, sipping at your own coffee. “Like a bear.” He'd let that last bit out as you inhaled, leaving you coughing and snorting up coffee in the process. The sound earning a sleepy glare from your mate before you gathered yourself back together. Clearing your throat with a muffled apology. You'd thought the same thing, yourself.
“Okay,” Sam got back to business, looking at the laptop screen. “So, code three means an officer down.” Your eyes kept drifting over to the man in the background, sipping at his black drink as if it was the only thing that mattered. You tuned out the case, letting your eyes trail over the way his t-shirt pulled over the swells of his bicep. Fucking hormones.
“Like, from a zombie.” The phrase pulled your attention back to Jack and away from your body's craving.
“Or anything else that has teeth.” There was the cranky Dean that had started slipping under your skin. Your lips twisted at the familiarity of it.
“Drink your coffee,” You waved him away, shooting Jack a little wink that made him smile.
“Alright,” Sam pulled attention back to where it belonged. “Change of plans. Jack, Y/N, and I will hit the grave yard. You and Cas hit up the crime scene.” The laptop was shut with more force than you cared to dwell on as Sam got to his feet.
“Works for me.” Dean managed as everyone got to their feet.
As soon as the party broke up? Dean raised his index finger at Cas, halting the angel in his steps. He pointed at his coffee before raising his palm. Cueing the supernatural being to sit until the coffee was gone. To your amazement, it worked. Castiel sat back with a small sigh, while Dean slurped away.
“No man should have all that power,” You muttered with a small laugh. With that, you received a silent middle finger. You only shook your head as you moved to grab your clothes from the bag beside his feet. When you looked back over your shoulder, you found Cas tsking away with a disapproving frown. Initially, you'd thought it to be at you. Then, you followed the gaze properly. Dean's eyes had landed on your ass; coffee still resting against his lips, but going nowhere. “Pervert,” You grumbled, pushing his cheek away. Trying not to focus too strongly on the feeling of his five o'clock shadow before you walked away.
“Dean-” Castiel's scolding as he moved back to his feet only earned a glare, and another point at the coffee. Zero remorse residing in the sleepy alpha. With another drawn out sigh, the angel sat. Waiting for the beast to be tamed by the caffeine...
Forever: @dean-winchesters-bacon @supernaturalginger @lilulo-12 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @michaelneedssomemilk @lemondropirwin @fanfictionismydeath @neii3n @surmya1907
Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278 @screechingartisancashbailiff @woodworthti666 @coldmuffinbanditshoe
#supernatural#spn#supernatural reader insert#spn reader insert#supernatural fanfiction#spn fanfiction#Supernatural angst#spn angst#dean winchester#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester angst#dean winchester reader insert#dean fanfiction#dean angst#dean reader insert#alpha dean x omega reader#alpha dean winchester#dean x reader#dean x you#dean x y/n#dean winchester x y/n#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#a/b/o
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Chinese Food in The American West
One of the things I frequently come across as a student of the American West* is that people get most of their information from movies and TV and then act like they know things. Wyatt Earp was not a Lawful Good champion who always did his level best even when it was hard to know. (You want Seth Bullock or Bass Reeves). Racism was far more complicated than white vs not white (I’ve talked about this EXTENSIVELY in Strange Empire, so I’m not going to bore you here**).
And they didn’t just eat steak. In fact, they rarely ate steak.
Steak as cowboy food isn’t INACCURATE, but it is MODERN. From about the early 1900s on, you had less and less drives and more and more ranchers who were staying put, with less and less hands needed, and so food was grabbed less “on the go.” Cows could be slaughtered and used to feed the family, allowing for more opportunities for things like steak, yes, but also things like chili, a play on sauerbraten, southern-style biscuits. The cattle drives were a real blend of culture and race, and a lot of what we have left as “Western food” owes a great deal to that.
And if we leave the cattle drives and head into the towns of the American West, as we will today, we find things like oysters, pies, and various things like that. Far more well-heeled than the general expectation.
I mean, here’s the menu from the Occidental Saloon circa the late 1880s:
Soups
Chicken Giblet and Consumme, with Egg
Fish
Columbia River Salmon, au Beurre Noir
Relieves
Filet a Boeuf, a la Financier
Leg of Lamb, Sauce, Oysters
Cold Meats
Loin of Beef, Loin of Ham, Loin of Pork, Westphalia Ham, Corned Beef, Imported Lunches
Boiled Meats
Leg of Mutton, Ribs of Beef, Corned Beef and Cabbage, Russian River Bacon
Entrees
Pinons a Poulett, aux Champignons
Cream Fricasse of Chicken, Asparagus Points
Lapine Domestique, a la Matire d'Hote
Casserole d'Ritz aux Oeufs, a la Chinoise
Ducks of Mutton, Braze, with Chipoluta Ragout
California Fresh Peach, a la Conde
Roasts
Loin of Beef, Loin of Mutton, Leg of Pork
Apple Sauce, Suckling Pig, with Jelly, Chicken Stuffed Veal
Pastry
Peach, Apple, Plum, and Custard Pies
English Plum Pudding, Hard Sauce, Lemon Flavor
This dinner will be served for 50 cents.
-I got this from the book “Saloons of the Old West” by Erdoes
But none of that is precisely why I’m here, I just can’t stop myself from talking about this, why I’m here is that one of the things I say that often surprises people, is that Chinese food was incredibly common for the, well, common man to eat. There’s very much a conception that we as a non-Chinese American people did not start eating Chinese food until the 40s and 50s, and its truer that it took longer to catch on in the American East than the West simply as a matter of proximity and choice.
Not MORE choice but LESS. Part of what made the West so unique, historically, is that the lack of choice and the basic scarcity caused people to work with and patronize people that their general prejudices would have kept them from using back east, because they had CHOICES. But out in the west, less so. There were few choices for a quick, cheap meal on the go. That dinner I just posted above is a lavish affair, and a great deal at approximately $20.00 in today’s money. (Which does not allow for the fact that cost of supplies has gone up and this dinner would most likely be offered for no less than 70 or so today.)
People desperately wanted something that was cheap and quick, and the other options in the American West were few, far between, and not intensely pleasing. No one had really come up with the sandwich shop as of yet, and in any case, fresh meats and cheeses would have been too difficult for the low-cost supplier.
ENTER THE CHINESE POPULATION.
If you have read my Strange Empire blogs, I hope you know that Chinese people were a huge presence in the American West, mostly working for the railroad and various mines, but also doing things like laundry, work that was extremely hard but took little in the way of English speaking. They existed in Chinatowns, for a combination of cultural and legal factors, but it’s a misconception that non-Chinese*** people never went to Chinatown.
People are not new, and it was not unusual for non-Chinese people to use the laundries, tailoring, and other services of Chinatowns while suppressing the rights of Chinese people int he same breath. There were always individual Chinese people any given non-Chinese person liked and did business with.
In time, they discovered the inherent wisdom of the noodle bowl.
I don’t mean to suggest that all these early restaurants served was noodle bowls, but that was where it all started. Remember, Italian food had little prominence in America at the this time, as Italian immigration didn’t really get into full swing until the 1870s in America. While there are noodle traditions half of everywhere, and there is nothing new under the sun, what we today would consider a stir-fry bowl was wildly new to most of the non-Chinese folks in the West. That it could be offered up so cheaply, was so filling, and so delicious (more on this later) was a wild revelation. Everyone from simple cowboys (which, fun fact! Was a slur back then!) to mayors were swinging by Chinatowns to try the dishes.
By the 1920s, chop suey, a fully Chinese American invention derived from the words for “various leftovers” was a hugely popular American food among all sorts.
Doc, you may ask, was it just that these folks coming through to get medicines or laundry were SO adventurous? Not at all! Chinese restaurants back then actually, in a very short amount of time, realized that their non-Chinese townsfolk were an excellent way to make money as well, and began to adapt and change dishes to better fit the Western palate, leading what we call American Chinese Food today, which is a legitimate foodway I will defend to my death. Unfortunately, none of these menus survive today--the only ones we have are from places in San Francisco, places that were much more posh, and not the subject of this essay.
There is a scene in Tombstone where Wyatt and his brothers are eating Chinese food, and it’s one of the things people often ask me about, assuming it’s anachronistic. Actually, it isn’t at all--the anachronism is that there’s broccoli in those noodle bowls, which had not yet hit our shores by the time of the OK Corral. Chinese food was a huge hit, Chinese restaurants were doing extremely well, and some Chinese restaurants were even beginning to attempt to print menus in English, with sit down areas, instead of serving simple fare from food carts.
As the food from these “chow chow houses” grew in popularity, as we can infer from the advertisements of their competitors promising free potatoes with every meal, and other such niceties to entice, there was, as ever there must be, blowback. Anti-Chinese sentiment grew to a fever pitch, and with this came overt pressure for ‘Good Americans” to patronize ‘American restaurants’. The social pressure is actually where we get some of that old racist jargon about Chinese people serving dogs and cats, which people often think was spread by competitors to degrade the Chinese restaurants, which isn’t UNTRUE, but was just as often said sheepishly by someone who couldn’t stop themselves from going and grabbing a noodle bowl or even the American dishes they offered, such as roast chicken or pork chop sandwiches.
(I won’t comment with anything but an eyeroll on the bullshit of people saying they’re ~allergic to MSG~ okay I’ll believe you when you stop eating processed food, meat, aged cheese)
It actually kept this type of reputation as being slightly scandalous well into the early 1900s, as being something you ate after the bar, something to be had in the shadows, but it was all for naught, because Chinese food became an important part of American identity. But for all that, no one ever pictures the Lone Ranger chowing down (the American phrase ‘chow’ for food actually comes from these ‘chow chow houses’) on some chop suey, but there’s every reason to believe he would have. American Chinese food is just as American as the Germanically-influenced hamburger.
(There’s a whole subtopic to go down about Jewish and Chinese communities and Kosher Chinese Food, two marginalized and othered communities coming together, but that’s a WHOLE other topic)
(Also someone please buy me Chinese food. This shit always makes me so hungry.)
*The American West is a specific time period, as far as the study of history goes. It covers the period between the end of the Civil War and the New Century, generally, and is, obviously, concerned with the western half of the country. It doesn’t cover stuff like Lewis and Clark (that’s Expansion) or even the Civil War itself, though you cannot possibly hope to study the American West in any level of seriousness without understanding the Civil War. Anyway! I know a lot about America between 1865 and 1900, and am just knowledgeable enough to be dangerous on everything else. Most History nerds are highly specified like this. We’re not as much help to your trivia team as you think.****
**I actually have had little chance to talk about ~European-style xenophobia~ as it played out in the west, because Strange Empire takes a more modern pass at it. But there was a hierarchy of “whiteness” as well, as still largely exists in Europe, land of intentionally clean ethnostates.
***I use the term “non-Chinese” instead of white because believe it or not, non-white people were not magically free of racism against Chinese people. It was horrific and BASICALLY every non-Chinese person was guilty of it to some level, a wild-ass level of hatred that led to Chinese folks not being able to PURCHASE PROPERTY BY LAW in ENTIRE STATES. Being Chinese or Native in this place and time was your Worst Bet.
****I actually was on a competitive trivia team, you DO want me.
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Well, well, well, look who’s back with the most morally repugnant update in Union history. Me. It’s been a very productive summer of Netflix, chill and giving wrong directions to tourists but all good things must come to an end. Also coming to an end is my ill-fated attempt to kill Max, who, after refusing to eat the cake FOR 2 FUCKING DAYS is finally released from the cage of death. Honestly, I’m impressed, Max, you’re definitely not as stupid as you look.
-Yea, I get that a lot.
I doubt that but whatever, now gtfo and I better not see your Komei-clone ass around Jojo ever again or it’s back in prison for you!
-So, Jojo, not that we’re not all extremely invested in the excruciating selection process of your husband, but are you any closer to picking one?? I mean I love this whole commune thing we have going but the constant food delivery for 8 is killing us.
-We’re afraid not, dear brother, it’s starting to look like no one in this world is worthy of our majesty.
Ugh are we really doing royal ‘we’ now? Is this what this has come to?
-Yes, college has really helped develop our sense of self-worth.
How can it be self-worth if you’re ‘we’?
-This is exactly the kind of idiotic questioning that would get you eliminated from the suitor process.
Oh, perish the thought! And miss out on this classical-music-dick-measuring-contest you have them doing?
-Ew seriously, Francis, Vivaldi? Why don’t you turn up to Justin Bieber while you’re at it.
Man, what a zinger! Good times. JOJO PICK A FUCKING DUDE ALREADY SO I CAN MOVE THE OTHERS OUT THE LOT IS LAGGY AS SHIT
-I lost the dick measuring contest and my punishment is sleeping on the couch.
KILL HIM IN HIS SLEEP MELODY
-Maybe later, Real Housewives of Pleasantview is on, Cassandra is getting dragged for the pigtails!!
-Ha, look at this Vivaldi-listening losér! Point at him and laugh, everyone!
-Who’s laughing now, bitch? Not you with that hoof right in your French-whore mouth!
-Ugh, aren’t you late for the beans-on-toast feast, you limey piece of merde?
Not since the 100 Years War have French-British tensions ran this high. Of course that one was for a throne, while this one..
-Is for something far more important.. Our heart.
LMAO Jojo please be serious, you don’t have a heart.
-We absolutely do and it’s made out of pure gold.
Yea I guess, I mean gold is a metal after all!
-Do you really think you should be eating decaying Chinese food, mon cheri? You’re going to need a soda to digest it and you know it’s too cold for your teeth!
-Wyatt, I don’t pay you to think, I pay you to sit across from me and look pretty, and occasionally to scooch down next to me so I look taller.
-You actually don’t pay me at all.
-Yes and obviously I’m getting my money’s worth.
Wow Jojo tone it down, your gold heart is shinning so brightly I’m gonna go blind!
Precious Gunther has added three new addictions to his existing sex one! A) working out in this atrocious outfit.
B) blowing bubbles from dawn to dusk.
and c) and the most disturbing one, constantly being alone in enclosed spaces with his brother’s intended, Brit Brit. At first I wasn’t too worried about it, thinking Brit is a popularity sim so it’s only natural..but then..
I SEE THIS. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER WHY MUST YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE
-Man idk, it’s almost supernatural. Blame it on God ;)
UGH I don’t even know who I hate more, your whore ass-
-or this fucking llama that hasn’t gone home in 3 days and is eating all our pizza.
-I just feel so accepted here, like I’m part of the family, you know?
GET OUT
Speaking of furries, not even the cow will approach the fucking cowplant, jfc. I mean you’d expect some kind of kinship there but nop. Great job Jojo, you killed a dozen secret society members for a defective cowplant.
-Mooo :(
I don’t know which one of you did that but stfu, I can’t anymore with this flop ass household!!!1
ANYWAY back to Brit and Daniel, it seems like my Gunther concerns were baseless, since these two remain eternally into each other, always autonomously doing cute crap.
-Oh Daniel, let me serenade you with the song of your people!
The kings made us drunk with fumes,
peace among us, war to the tyrants!
Let the armies go on strike,
stocks in the air, and break ranks.
If they insist, these cannibals
on making heroes of us,
they will know soon that our bullets
are for our own generals ♪
ROMANCE ISN’T DEAD
In other news, allow me to present you all with Melody’s personality panel. I was under the false impression that being the child of Wanda and Stephen she was.. nice?? But nop, total Union freak material! We hit the jackpot once again. Now her best friendship with bitch Brit makes total sense.
-Honestly girl, this janky ass house is such a step down from the sorority, I spend half the day thinking of ways to peace out.
-Ugh I know, I was on the fence at first but can you really put a price on good d?
-Aw, what are my beautiful hens cackling about? May I join?
-No.
-I was about to make a math joke but I doubt you gals would get it, amirite? As Barbie said, math is hard!
- I’m a literal math major.
-Oh I know, Mel, good for you! Affirmative action works wonders!
KILL HIM AND HIS HAREM WE DON’T NEED THE LAG
It’s another day in paradise. Daniel has finally cracked and gone full Komei, autonomously cleaning shit even though we have a maid..
Melody ate a ton of burnt grilled cheese and is non-stop throwing up..
AND THIS BULLSHIT IS STILL GOING ON. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE
-What?? We’re just talking, GAWD
No you’re not “””just talking””” you’re gossiping and doing sexy whispers, I KNOW YOUR TRICKS GUNTHER-
-I don’t mean to interrupt but I think you’re focusing on the wrong issue here?
OH AM I?? DO TELL
-LOOK OUTSIDE BITCH
Nice try whores, nothing is happening outside-
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. WHAT.
-That’s right, Ti-Ning and I are in love now!
............................FRAN THIS BETTER BE SOME DRY ASS BRITISH HUMOR
-Nop! We got tired of waiting for Jojo and we decided the best way to handle it was to suddenly make out in front of him even tho we have never even flirted before!
THIS LITERALLY CANNOT BE HAPPENING
-Well it is, so best accept it and we can all move on :)
Oh yea certainly, I mean if anything Jojo is known for his ability to forgive and forget!
See the ghost of Ti-Ning indeed! Finally a wish Jojo and I share.
TI-NING OMFG THIS LACK OF SHAME
-Haha!!! Finally I’m free to be as gross as I want >:)
Well.. enjoy it while it lasts.
-The hell does that mean??
Nothing, just you know, none of us know when our time will come.. only that it will. The curse of human existence, one might say. Only we among the animal world know that we will die. Memento mori, Ti-Ning. And we will memento you.
-..Yea, maybe it’s time I move out?
I mean, you can try..
..but like the curse from It Follows, it follows. It being Jojo. How you holding up boo?
-Oh, I’m great, can’t you tell?
You know what might help? Some of your beloved homework! Do something useful, get your mind off this stuff..
“Sending The First Human to Mercury and Leaving Him There: A Very Specific Space Exploration Proposal”
-Jojό!! I’m writing about how I finally won your heart but please don’t look, I’m gonna read this at our wedding!
-Yea I literally couldn’t care less about you and your thoughts/feelings/etc, what was left of my heart is dead and gone and now there’s only a black hole there.. Oh we could also send Ti-Ning to a black hole if Mercury doesn’t work. Nice.
-UGH how are you even still alive and breathing the same air as me and not dead from shame like you should be, you vile adulteress???
-OH PLEASE you’re just mad cause Fran and I realized we can do better than your mega-jaw ass. If not for the endless supply of bubbles around here blurring our vision this would have happened weeks ago!
-I’m going to strangle you in your sleep and my jaw will be the last thing you see.
-Your jaw would be the last thing I saw even if I died on the moon.
-MAYBE YOU WILL
.....................well I guess it’s official then. And if the above didn’t seal it..
..this definitely did. God have mercy on me, what a shitshow.
While Tin and Fran are woohooing, Jojo attempts to end his troubles once and for all by running out of the house and into a thunder fire. Thankfully the rain puts it out quickly and all we’re left with is critically low hygiene.
Man, serving Penguin teas! You have the entire look down, Jo. I’d tell you to audition for Gotham but that’s extremely bad career advice
-Oh god, I almost died!!!!
Aw I know, but don’t worry you’re safe now <3
-No I mean I came so close but didn’t make it.. :(
Jojo please, if anything, live to kill Ti-Ning and Francis. You owe it to yourself.
As soon as Fran and Tin are done, guess who rushes in to gossip next to the bed. ISTG YOU ASSHOLES, BREAK IT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT THAT WINDOW
-Whatever, we’d just land on Jojo trying to set himself on fire.
-LOL oh Brit you’re so funny!
I HATE THIS HOUSE
-HAD FUN, DID WE YOU SLUT
-Get him, Jojό!
Honestly Wyatt, I get being supportive but I’m really starting to worry about you, even demeaning yourself has its limits..
..especially since Jojo continues to be a massive freakshow. Good lord.
-Oh Francis, don’t tell Wyatt cause you know how he gets, but your total disregard for my existence is making me see you in a whole new, hot, light..
Man, good thing Wyatt isn’t standing 3 steps away from you!
Oh yes, loving this dinner. An ocean between us..
-I wouldn’t eat that third slice if I was you, Ti-Ning. Your funeral day is fast approaching, don’t you want to look nice for it?
-Well you’ll be there so it doesn’t matter, everyone will be looking at your jaw.
Yes, what a wonderful night. Now let’s all go to bed and hopefully everyone will have calmed down a little by tomorrow!
LMAO yea idk what I was thinking.
-Strangle me in my sleep? How about I strangle you in broad daylight???
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but.. poor Jojo. Not only did he get his ass beat, but to literally add insult to the injury-
-everyone is lusting after Gunther during his defeat. Jfc, I’d want to set myself on fire too.
Oh here we go, Gunther to the rescue!
-How dare you beat up my brother even though he attacked you first? Prepare to die!
-Whatever, I’ve been preparing for that for the last couple days!
Aw, Gunther is such a good brother/giant loser depending on the outcome of this fight.
VINDICATION. Bravo, Gunther, defending our non-existent family honor!
Daniel, in true Daniel fashion, slept through this entire shitshow, which might be the smartest thing he’s ever done.
Oop, spoke too soon. Say what you want about Gunther and Daniel but man do they both love Jojo! Truly god knows why.
-So Brit, you’re studying poli-sci, can you think of a peaceful resolution to this? Haha!
-YOU STFU TI-NING MY FINALS ARE TODAY MY GPA IS ALREADY IN THE TOILET AND NOW IM GONNA FLOP CAUSE YOU ASSHOLES SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT FUCKING AND THE WHOLE DAY FIGHTING AND I HAVEN’T SLEPT AT ALL DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL I’M GONNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE FUCKING GROUND IF YOU TRY ME
Well, you might not need to Brit! WHAT IS UP WITH THIS HYPER-FLAMMABLE CACTUS
Brit returns from her finals with a free pizza! How’d you do, Brit?
-Saved by the nightie again!
NOICE. Got a freebie pizza from it too?
-No, I found it in the garbage. My gift to Francis and Ti-Ning for their 3 day anniversary!
Jojo’s official greek house portrait coming along nicely! Wow he looks very majestic..
..Instagram vs Real Life.
-Bowling is so satisfying if you pretend the pins are your former lovers’ genitals!
Whatever coping method works for you boo!
Gunther and Ti-Ning are officially enemies which is hilarious because not even Jojo is enemies with him?? Follow your bliss, Guns!
In an impressive display of brotherly synchronicity we have double slapping across the room. Double the slapping for half the time, Jojo is as always a true capitalist.
JOJO!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON! So proud of my baby <3 I’m ofc kidding, this shit has gotten old really fast and I extremely feel Brit watching uninterested. ENOUGH
HARD MOOD. Brit is honestly on another level than the rest of us basics. What an icon.
For some reason I bothered to fulfill Ti-Ning’s want to learn that relationship maintenance or w/e lifetime skill (talk about money down the drain) and the irony of this pop up text almost sent me to an early grave. And we know who’s going to an early grave today..
IT’S CAKE TIME. REACH OUT, TI-NING. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT
FINALLY. GOODBYE FIGHTING AND INSANE LAG
JESUS JOJO. STONE. COLD.
Ice Cube would like to say,
that I'm a crazy muthafucka from around the way,
since I was a youth, I smoked weed out,
now I'm the muthafucka that ya read about,
takin' a life or two,
that's what the hell I do, you don't like how I'm livin
well fuck you ♪
Wyatt and Brit were on their way to react to Ti-Ning’s little accident but somehow got sidetracked and are now randomly arguing on the porch. Honestly I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, I’ve lost all control of this household.
Jojo rushes over to celebrate Ti-Ning’s demise by immediately slapping the shit out of his grieving lover! Whenever you think we can’t possibly sink any lower, think again. Like right now, after the slapping, are you thinking we can’t sink any lower?????????????????????????????
THINK. AGAIN.
ARE YOU SCREAMING? CAUSE I DID
YUP THIS IS HAPPENING
IT’S REAL
IT’S. REAL. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CURSE WORDS IN ANY LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS
FUCK YOU FRANCIS. FUCK. YOU. YOU’RE GETTING MURDERED SO FUCKING HARD YOU UNBELIEVABLE ASSHOLE. I’M FUCKING DONE. JOJO YOU’RE GONNA DIE ALONE TIME FOR ALL OF US TO ACCEPT THAT REALITY. WE STARTED OUT WITH 3 CANDIDATES AND ENDED UP HERE. HOW THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN FRANCIS AND WYATT HAVE. 1 BOLT. ONE. WYATT IS A FAMILY SIM I’M SO PISSED OFF I NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT
OK. In my 10 years of playing I have never wanted to quit without saving more than with this bullshit. Look at fucking Fran’s smug ass face and moron Wyatt putting on an Oscar worthy performance of shock and regret. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME WYATT. What the FUCK are we gonna do now???? I guess good thing Max Flexor survived the cage of death. GOD.DAMMIT
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Historical Hour With Hilary: 1x05
Missed an installment? Want to read up on where the team has been before? Just bored? Catch up with previous Historical Hours here. Otherwise, come along and discover that you probably don’t actually remember the Alamo, on March 6, 1836, as our heroes find themselves trapped in the legendary mission on the eve of battle.
If there is one thing that American Southern folk mythology really enjoys, it’s a romantic “Lost Cause” about a small group of brave patriots fighting to the end against a much larger and morally bankrupt foe: their bodies may be broken, but their spirit prevails. I could be talking about the Civil War, the end of which the team visited in 1865 a few episodes ago, but I could also be talking about the Alamo and its context within the Texas Revolution, which began just thirty years previously. It was a very short war, lasting only from October 1835 to April 1836, and it resulted in Texas’ independence from Mexico and official entry into the United States, which... may or may not count as winning, but never mind. The causes of the conflict are complex, but I’ll try to summarize quickly. In 1821, Mexico had achieved freedom from Spain and recognition as its own sovereign country, with the Mexican War of Independence, and the territory of Texas became a formal Mexican state, Tejas. Eight years later, in 1829, Mexico banned slavery, which um. Did not go down well:
The aversion toward the Mexican government felt by most American Texans (who objected to learning Spanish, abiding by Mexican law, becoming Roman Catholics, etc ) was further exacerbated by the 1829 abolition of slavery. [...] The overthrow of federalism in 1835 finally prompted the Texans to revolt, given that a centralist state would tighten the Mexicans' grip over the distant and increasingly U.S.-populated secessionist province with uniform laws and taxes. However, the fact that the imposition of a centralist state would result in the abolition of slavery in Texas remains one of the main, yet often downplayed, reasons why the Texans rose up in arms. (p. 162-63).
“Often downplayed.” Wow, who could have possibly seen that coming? In case it wasn’t clear, the Mexican government objected to so many Americans moving to Mexico, as the Americans then made no effort to integrate and behaved (shock, surprise) like they owned the place. For another tidbit to annoy your racist uncle on Facebook, how about this:
The Law of April 6, 1830, said to be the same type of stimulus to the Texas Revolution that the Stamp Act was to the American Revolution, was initiated by Lucas Alamán y Escalada, Mexican minister of foreign relations, and was designed to stop the flood of immigration from the United States to Texas.
This was an entirely symbolic law, given as it was completely impossible to enforce with 1830s-level bureaucracy and communication over vast stretches of the Southwest, but it reflected Mexico’s attempt to impose control over an unruly and secessionist state (I’m not gonna say anything here, I’m not gonna say anything) and cut immigration levels from troublesome Americans, spreading moral disorder and presumably stealing jobs. If you’re interested, you can read in more detail about Texas-Mexican politics and the influences on the revolution here (you will need an institutional login to access full text). Otherwise, you can probably see that by the time the uprising actually started in 1835, the causes of the Texians’ (as the Anglo-Texas settlers were called) discontent were, well, something less than noble.
Mind you, they weren’t entirely unjustified, as Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón, or “Damn, Son, Leave Some Names For the Rest of Us”, Mexico’s eleven-time president, general, and towering statesman of the period, made even his contemporaries uneasy. His cruelties and excesses during the Texas campaigns, including the slaughter at the Alamo and the Goliad massacre of March 27, 1836 (or the “Other Alamo”, which killed at least 350 men, nearly double the Alamo’s death toll of 182, and which Santa Anna ordered against the wishes of his subordinate, General José de Urrea), got him into hot political water upon his return home. Part of Mexico’s political reforms had been in an attempt to avoid a post-revolution Santa Anna dictatorship, which he certainly possessed the talent and temperament to try. However, as noted before Flynn mucks things up, he did not indiscriminately butcher the women, children, and slaves inside the Alamo. Instead, they were given a blanket, safe passage, and two dollars apiece (see page 39). Only the defenders were killed.
As the team encounter, these defenders included some of the most colorful figures of later American folklore, including Davy Crockett and James Bowie, and William Barret Travis’ famous letter, which Lucy ends up having to write, is commonly cited as an enduring legacy of patriotism and “victory or death.” (It’s now a standard part of the history curriculum for Texas schoolchildren, which does not surprise me.) Of course, the participation of actual Tejanos in the events has been obscured and understudied, and almost immediately after the battle, it began to be memorialized in sentimental (and racist) novels. The supposed villainy and racial inferiority of the Mexicans was highlighted and made a key part of remembrance of the Alamo, especially as it was easy to take that view from the winning side. On April 21, 1836, General Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna in the Battle of San Jacinto, which lasted just eighteen minutes, and won the war (and independence) for Texas. As mid-19th-century Southern generals go, Houston is actually not that bad: he was very close with the Cherokee Indians, including being an honorary citizen and having an Indian wife at one point. He also fiercely opposed slavery and secessionism (or: Texas, having joined America, immediately wanted to leave it again) in the run-up to the Civil War, and was the only governor of a Southern state to refuse an oath of loyalty to the Confederacy, which caused him to be removed from office. Davy Crockett also hated the daylights out of President Andrew Jackson and his heinous Indian Removal Act, so hey. They’ve got that going for them.
Overall, I feel as if this is one episode where Timeless could have pushed a little harder at this history in places, but hey, that’s what I am here for. I therefore have to make the point explicit that yes, of course it was about race and slavery in the American South just a few decades before the Civil War, and yes, Texas has always been like that. It also flips our modern ideas about “illegal immigration” on their heads, and invites us to think more cautiously and critically about our fondness for “Lost Cause” patriotic mythology, because frankly, the Alamo wasn’t a Lost Cause. Yes, the soldiers died, but Texas won its independence less than two months later, which allowed the story of the Alamo to serve exceptionally well as a tragic tale and propagandist memory, and which was deliberately constructed as an important event in a way that far outstripped its actual historical significance. The Goliad massacre was arguably more significant in terms of the number of soldiers killed and the point of “no return” for the rebel cause, but nobody particularly remembers that today, which demonstrates the way in which the mythologizing of the Alamo stretches beyond its real impact. The Texas Revolutions’ origins were also less about a valorous desire for liberation from Mexican tyranny, and more about the Texians wanting to do things their way, especially if it involved their right to go on holding slaves and ignoring the laws, language, and customs of the country they had moved to. So yes, Wyatt, every kid in Texas might know the story, but I’m not sure how much anyone -- individually or collectively -- actually cares to remember.
Next week: An insane president, scandal in the White House, the threat of domestic terrorism and nuclear war, plane hijackings, and more? Are we staying in 2017? Nope. It’s 1972.
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Divinely Different!
So....we want you to be our celebrant’
‘Awesome’ says I...
‘The only issue is, we have fallen in love with this church, in London, and wondered if you and the vicar could work together to create something that truly reflects us as a couple and a family’
‘Well, I’m up for it if the vicar is’ was my enthusiastic response...
And so it began, tailoring a bespoke Vicar and Celebrant led church blessing... as far as I am aware the first of its kind in the UK!!!
You certainly wouldn’t get that with a Humanist Celebrant!
I’m not going to go into that here, but I have said it before, not all celebrants are humanist, most like me are independent and happy to mix and match our ceremonies to really reflect everything our couples and families want out of their day...
Anyway I digress...
Marcia and Shane are a blended family, with children from previous relationships, both having grown up to have a faith, neither actually regularly attend church. But one day, driving past this one, Marcia fell in love with it and with nothing to lose asked the Vicar if he would be up for something a bit different.
They had already booked me, but were struggling to find the perfect venue, up until now...
We arranged a joint meeting with the Rev Wyatt and ran through how we envisioned the ceremony. With a bit of tweaking here and there we hit upon the perfect running order.
Trev the Rev, as I am going to cheekily moniker him, would go first, with the marriage ceremony and blessing, followed by Corinthians, read beautifully by the Groom’s mum.
Corinthians 13:4-13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
And then the final blessing at the high alter before Trev handed over to me.
I had the best fun, checking first that I wasn't about to be smited from any great height, I personalised their journey as a couple so far...weaving in the story of how they met...the very first time as kids...even though they didn't realise it at the time...to how Shane ever so romantically .....SERIOUSLY NOT AT ALL!!....proposed to Marcia in a jewellery shop as he lobbed a ring in a box in her direction and declared...’Here you go babe, we’re engaged now!’
We laughed.....a lot!
And then there is how proud they are of the children and the people they are becoming, proud and bright advocates within their local community. They WILL achieve great things, just like their parents are set to, because they have such amazing role models...
Shane and Marcia decided to dedicate themselves to each other and to their family with a Sand Ceremony.
Each family member had a container of sand to represent his or her own individual personalities
Shane had dark purple ~ Purple is associated with royalty, It symbolises wisdom, dignity, as well as mystery, and magic.
Marcia had white ~ White is associated with light, goodness, innocence, and purity.
Malique and Phoenix were given red sand ~ amongst other things, red is the colour of passion, of energy and courage and strength.
Pharrel and Tiegan had green sand ~ Green is the colour of nature; it symbolises growth and harmony as well as stability and endurance.
AJ and Kiran had blue- Blue is associated with confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven.
The colours compliment and support each other, just as the family compliment and support each other and the patterns formed are unique just like them and their family.
Just a shame the vicar decided his phone was more interesting at this point than engaging with the ceremony!
Marcia’s mum read our final reading, from the late great Bob Marley himself...he didn't half come out with some wise words!
‘Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around.
You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more.
You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.
When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.
They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself.
Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.
There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around.
You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.
The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.
Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again.
Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all.
A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.
Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.
You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.
You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.
You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.
You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end.
Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.
Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.’
After signing the certificate our happy couple and entourage left the church and walked into glorious sunshine before heading off to their reception in Lesnes Park..adjacent to the old Priory ruins.
I hang my head, when I now admit this was the first time, I’d ever eaten curried goat as we had a caribbean feast for our wedding breakfast and I performed a few more duties for the happy couple before wending my way back home with Kev, who had come with me to catch these fab photos.
a very proud family, celebrating a fabulous day.
So congratulations Mr & Mrs Davis...I look forward to following your adventures as you tick off your goal list!
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ChangBros - Tony and Mike
Mike and Tony speak soon after Mike’s arrival (unfinished)
@dommikechang
Tony was very nervous to tell Mike about his past. Not because he thought his brother would be angry with him. No, his brother would be angry with the ass who hurt him. But he was nervous Mike would be disappointed in him for being so naive, for not being smart enough to realize what was happening. Regardless, he went to his brother's room after work, grabbing a quick shower and tugging on sweats before joining Mike out on the couch. "I... so... I don't really know where to start," he said softly.
Mike had been through... an eventful day, to say the least. But checking up on Tony was easily the most important thing he had scheduled. "It's okay. Just take it easy, take your time," he said, putting a hand on his Tony's shoulder and squeezing firmly - and just barely holding back a wince. Wyatt's face had been harder than it looked, and he kept forgetting not to bend his fingers. "You don't have to tell me in perfect chronological order or anything. I'm pretty good at piecing things together. Start wherever feels right, and we'll figure it out from there." His brow creased as he looked his little brother over. Was he mistaken, or had Tony lost some weight? "Did you get dinner? Are you hungry, thirsty?"
Tony bit the inside of his lip and let out a slow breath. His head shook mechanically at the question. "I'm not hungry," he said, and even if he had been eating regularly, he wouldn't have been able to eat now with how his stomach was churning. "I... so, I was... practicing. Being a submissive, for about a year before I came to Lima. There was a man, back home in DC. A professor at the college I was taking courses at. He... I guess I caught his attention. Or something."
Mike nodded along as Tony began to speak (though he was determined to revisit the question of food later). It made sense to him that Tony would have practiced being a submissive before being marked: of the three of them, Tony's mark had always seemed the most certain. But he knew from the context that he wasn't going to like the way this story ended. "Well, that can't be ethical," he said, trying not to sound too judgmental. "But go on."
Tony shook his head. "He wasn't my professor. He taught... teaches, in the law department. But he saw me on campus and he... invited me to his office one day and I wasn't a virgin anymore after that," he explained quietly. "After that, he... well, he trained me. Did scenes with me, and brought me out to bars and clubs. I thought he..." Tony swallowed hard, staring down at his lap. "I thought he was going to claim me. Once I finished Academy, I thought he was going to... I don't know, send for me and I'd be his. But that wasn't how things went."
Mike worked his jaw, looking away for a moment. "A technicality," he muttered, but then let his brother go on. It was nearly unfathomable to him that there had apparently been not one, but two Doms out there who'd failed to see Tony's true worth, but... "How did things go, then?"
Tony felt his eyes prickle with tears. As much as he wanted to be over the pain Professor had caused him, he wasn't. Not even with Wyatt's help. "I told him I loved him, and he... he laughed. Told me he was married to his submissive and wasn't planning on ever..." His voice broke off as he struggled not to cry, fingers pressing into his own thighs. "He said he would wait for me to become a slave and buy me. I was too... t-too much trouble to keep."
Mike wasn't as demonstrative as Orion, but it would have taken a heart of stone not to reach out, gently urging him closer, into a tightly protective hug. "He's an idiot. You know that, right? He's so wrong about you, Tony. You deserve so much better than that." His hand rubbed over his brother's back, soothingly. "You deserve the world."
Tony leaned into Mike, pressing his face into his brother's shoulder. A part of him still didn't think he deserved comfort, not when he'd been dumb enough to get into the situation in the first place. But he couldn't pull away from Mike's embrace, clinging to his big brother as he always had. "I don't know. He's kept reminding me since. Texting... emailing. He sh-showed up when we were at the auction house and threatened Master and Ori."
Mike stiffened, thoughts of his brother momentarily replaced by thoughts of how he might strike back at this Professor. "He came all the way from DC?" Shaking his head, he forced himself back into the present, cuddling Tony into his chest. "He can't do a thing to them. Or to you. But have you considered going to the police?"
Tony nodded. "He.. he's waiting. For me to go there for real. And M-master said we would send him pictures when we claimed but now that w-won't happen," he said, his eyes spilling over, words becoming a bit more rushed as he got more panicked. "N-no. I can't prove the messages are from him, they're all from... different emails or numbers."
Mike held onto him a little tighter. "Well, and that explains why you haven't just blocked him," he muttered. That had been his next question. "You know, you could probably just compile your evidence, and let the police contact the providers and sort out..." Even as he said it, he realized that kind of practical problem-solving was probably not what his brother needed most right now, and quickly changed tactics. "He's being ridiculous, though. You're never going back there. Never in a million years."
Tony just shook his head. The thought of going after Professor made him feel even more nauseous, because then he would have to talk about it even more, in front of strangers. "I might," he whispered tightly. "Master... I wasn't enough for Master. Not enough for Professor."
Mike pulled his head back, just a little, and gently took Tony by the chin, lifting it so their eyes met. "Hey," he said, his voice deeper than it had been, sterner. "You listen to me, and listen well, okay? You're never going back there. I have two spots free to claim submissives - one of which I wouldn't even consider using until I know you're taken care of." He swallowed, his eyes softening. "Absolute worst case scenario, you'll come live with me, and I'll take care of you, and help you be the amazing, life-saving brain surgeon you were always meant to be."
Tony immediately straightened up a little bit when he heard the deeper tone. Tears still streaked silently down his cheeks - and damn did he hate that he was crying over this again - but he focused his attention on his brother. Tony could only nod and sniff softly. "I wouldn't want to... put that burden on you. And I want... I know it doesn't m-matter much, but I want a Dominant. I just want to be enough for someone, Mikey."
Mike nodded, his hand shifting to brush Tony's cheek, wiping a tear away. "I know you do. I can see it. You just want to be loved... and I want that for you. That's why I said it was the worst case scenario. But don't you ever think that you'd be a burden on me, okay? That's the last thing you'd be." His shoulders straightened. "I'd never let you go back to a place like that. Ever. But more than that, you're an amazing person, and you're going to have so many other chances at love."
Tony sniffed softly, shifting back from Mike a little so he could wipe at his face. "I... thank you, Mikey." It meant the world to him that his brother was willing to do that. He knew Orion would say the same thing, but Tony would never accept Orion's offer - not when he only could be with one person. "Things with Master weren't all bad. They were good at first."
Mike reached around, behind Tony, and grabbed a box of tissues. "That's always how it is," he said, gently, as he passed him a couple. "Even in abusive relationships." The inflection he gave those words didn't imply that he considered Tony's relationship abusive - but honestly, from what he'd heard, it sounded like emotional abuse to him. "You can tell me about the good stuff if you want, if you think it'll help me understand, but don't get too caught up in it, okay? Don't let yourself forget why you left."
Tony sighed softly and wiped at his cheeks with the offered tissues, embarrassed that he had cried in front of his brother like that. "He... at first it was... I didn't think he'd be interested in me. He's so handsome and commanding, I thought I would just be... I don't know. Another body in his bed. But then he took me to prom, just me, and it was like... magic," he said wistfully.
Mike let his hand rest on his brother's shoulder, gradually rubbing a little as he kept talking. "What did I just say about not getting caught up in it?" he said, but his tone was light, gentle. "No, but I understand. The start of a new relationship always feels full of promise. Like this is going to be it, like you're the luckiest person in the world. It's just rare that actually being with someone manages to live up to all that potential." He gazed off into the distance for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Did he really treat you well? On a day-to-day basis?"
Tony sighed and looked down at his lap. "Sorry," he whispered. "That is how I felt. Like I was the luckiest submissive, the luckiest man in the world for someone like him to want me. He... did. Mostly. He made an effort to know me, he treated me well. He helped me through things with Professor. It just never seemed like... my feelings about things mattered until I screamed them at him. And even then, they still didn't matter. I wasn't allowed to be jealous of other subs because I was still doing scenes with other Doms, but he got all... uppity when he saw me talking to other Doms."
Mike sighed. "Well... if there's going to be one set of rules for the Dominant and one set of rules for the sub, it needs to be honestly discussed. Understood, and agreed to. Was that... did you guys ever really talk about it? How soon in the relationship did you start having to shout to get your feelings across?"
Tony shook his head. "No. I tried, a little, but it never went anywhere. When he started his thing with... Sebastian," he said, his voice a quiet, sad whisper. "He didn't see a reason why he shouldn't until I told him it broke my heart to see them interact, to see him lean on someone who wasn't me."
Mike leaned in, hugging him close again. The softness of his brother's voice was nearly breaking him. "It kind of doesn't sound like you guys ever really understood each other. Maybe never really had a chance. And that's not your fault," he added, hastily, putting his hand to his eyes, and doing his best to make it look like his contacts were bothering him. "If you need a Dom to share with you, lean on you, love you, and he doesn't want to give you that? Then you have to move on."
Tony pressed his cheek against Mike's shoulder. "We did, for a while. Before he found... romance, I guess. Something I was apparently crap at giving him," he mumbled. "I know this sounds stupid and melodramatic but what if no one wants that with me, Mike? What if P-professor's right about me?"
Mike let his chin rest on the top of Tony's head, wondering what he could possibly say to make this better. He doubted there was anything. "I'm sure you weren't. You didn't even know if that was something he wanted from you, at first, so it's not a fair comparison at all. Listen - he's not right about you. You're going to find someone who's going to sweep you off your feet and give you all the love you deserve." He shook his head tightly. "And remember, worst case scenario, you'll just come to live with me until that happens."
Tony shrugged lightly, clinging to Mike. "I don't know," he mumbled. Right now it didn't much feel like anyone would be interested him. Used up and broken, damaged goods... and who wanted that? And who would bother sweeping him off of his feet? Especially after he came of age? "Maybe I should just plan on that - as much as I don't want to mess up your life. Just... focus on school and work and trying to take classes as soon as I can."
Mike shut his eyes for a moment, wishing he'd phrased it better. Cliches never made for a convincing argument. "I know it sounds glib, easy for me to say, but... you're an amazing person, Tony. I have to believe someone's going to see it before too long." He moved his head so he could look his little brother in the eyes. "And you need to believe me: you wouldn't be messing up my life. I'd be lucky to have you. I won't get to, because someone's going to come along for you, but that's my loss."
Tony wished he could believe his big brother. He knew Mike wouldn't lie to him - he never had before, ever. he wouldn't start now. But he didn't know how he could believe Mike when his heart just hurt so badly. "You probably will, though. I don't know how many Doms are out there only looking for one claim."
Mike shrugged. "Well," he said, slowly, "I don't think I'm looking for more than one. Another reason having you with me wouldn't be a sacrifice. Though I don't really know for sure, yet, I guess." He kept one arm around Tony but fidgeted with the tissue box a little, pulling one out a little further and then stuffing it back in. "But I think a lot of people are interested in just being a D/s couple." He blew out a sharp breath, then shoved the tissue box away. "And besides, all the Switches out there who want to be Doms can only have one, so... that's something, right? Are you sure you aren't hungry at all?" The subject change may have been abrupt, but he was sincere in his concern, his eyes scanning Tony once again. "You look thinner than when I saw you last."
Tony nodded, though he wasn't sure what he was agreeing to. He didn't want to screw up his brother's life. But he didn't want to go back to the auction house either - he didn't want to risk being bought by Professor. Mike was fidgeting, something he normally didn't do. Something else was on his mind. "I... no, I'm not hungry," he said, curling up a little tighter. "I haven't been hungry f-for a while."
Mike had left behind all his conflicted thoughts of his own future, solely focused on the boy in front of him. For just a moment he hesitated, trying to remember if his brother had ever shown any signs of having trouble eating under stress before, or if this was a new thing entirely. What was the right way to handle this? He'd read pretty widely about comforting and caring for subs, but almost all of his knowledge was just that: theoretical, drawn from books and observation. Still. This was Tony, who since childhood had always quietly deferred to whatever games his big brothers wanted to play. Perhaps this was the best possible place to start. "I can understand that. That's a pretty common response to stress, isn't it? But it might be something you need to push through - at least a little - before it gets better." He held him a little tighter. "I want you to try to eat something for me, here in a minute. Just a few bites is enough for now, if that's all you can manage."
Tony hadn't really eaten properly since before the auction house. Maybe two meals every two days, eaten over the course of the day. Never anything really filling. He'd lost weight, he knew he had. But he hadn't been hungry, and eating made him feel nauseous. Tony bit the inside of his lip, debating on protesting again, but the way Mike phrased it called to the submissive side of him. It sounded like an order. He had to obey, right? "Oh... okay," he said with a little nod.
Mike brought a hand up to smooth Tony's hair gently, as soon as his brother agreed. "Good," he said, simply but warmly, 'good boy' not feeling quite natural on his tongue. Or maybe, he wondered, just not with Tony? Never mind. "I just want you to push yourself a little bit. Not much, not if it seems like you can't do it. But the less you eat, the more it'll feel normal not to eat very much." He gave him a rueful smile. "Well, you're going to be a doctor, you sort of get it, right? Would you do better with bland food, or something tempting?"
Tony sucked in a breath at the touch. God, he was craving submission. Pain and submission and anything to make him feel like he wasn't completely fucking up his life by needing monogamy. Anything at all. "I'll try, Mikey. I just... feel sick whenever I do," he said softly. "I understand it medically. And I've been examined, it's nothing physical making me ill. I think maybe something... bland. Some rice?" he suggested, considering it had been a staple in his diet for a while now.
Mike felt his chest swell a little at the way Tony responded to him. So simple and sweet; submission in it's purest form. "I understand that," he said, firmly, but not unkindly. "I just want to make sure that you understand why it can't continue." Standing, he offered Tony his hand, then tugged him to his feet. "Come with me to the kitchen. I can whip some plain rice up in less than fifteen minutes, and we can keep talking while I do.".
Tony slid his hand into Mike's, visibly more relaxed than he had been since arriving at his brother's room. "I do, Mikey. I'll try to be better," he promised quietly. Following Mike into the kitchen, he hopped up to sit on the island, trying not to think about the very first Dominant room he'd done this in. "It's been... bad since then. Eating is hard and... other things are... are difficult too."
Mike was distracted with puttering around his kitchen, but even so, he noticed the change in his brother. He must have done something right - but he didn't have time to congratulate himself. Tony was still talking. Mike furrowed his brow, unsure at first which vague phrase he wanted to follow up on, but ultimately decided Tony's present problems were more important. "You're doing really well in a lot of ways. I hope you know that. But... what kind of 'other things' do you mean?" As he spoke, he busied himself with setting the rice up to boil on the stove.
Tony blushed deeply. His heels kicked lightly against the island. "Um. I h-haven't... I haven't been able to let anyone um... touch me. And I haven't really felt the desire to... want..." He sighed, exasperated, then just blurted out his problem. "I haven't gotten hard since then."
Mike 's hands stilled for a moment. "Ohhh..." Well, he reminded himself, he'd asked. "Well, fuck," he said, reflexively, then gave a sort of half-chuckle as he realized the irony. He resumed his work, not looking at Tony directly, not wanting him to feel too embarrassed. "I see the problem. You'll need someone you can really trust to help you with that, and... well, do you have anyone else like that? Someone you've been with before? Maybe before you and Wyatt got serious?"
Tony sighed shakily and nodded, running a hand over his hair. "I... I don't know. Sir Jeff has been wonderful to me but I keep feeling like I'm using him," he mumbled under his breath, the kind, sweet switch probably the only person he would trust at the moment to help him with his sexual issues.
Mike turned back to face his brother, having overcome his own awkwardness and wondering if, maybe, it would help to show that this wasn't anything they ought to be embarrassed about. "Sometimes people are willing to be used, you know," he said, gently. "Even Doms and Switches. Sometimes when you care about someone, you can take care of them without expecting anything in return. Well, I suppose I shouldn't assume - are you saying you feel bad because you're not able to offer him much in return?"
Tony shrugged lightly, biting the inside of his lip. "I just... I can't offer much of anything to anyone right now, Mikey. Jeff is so sweet and kind to me and he... I just feel like if I keep leaning on him, it'll be like I'm leading him on."
Mike leaned back against the counter. "You wouldn't be leading him on if he understands what's going on. Does he know you're not... interested in anything more right now? Have you told him that?"
Tony looked down at his lap. "Not in so many words. If he says anything, I'm going to be honest with him. I don't want to lead him on but I also don't want to assume there's more than what's on the surface?" He shook his head with a sigh. "No one should have to deal with me for a while right now anyway."
Mike sighed as well, reaching out to rub his hand over Tony's arm. "If you're worried that he doesn't know what's going on, bringing it up yourself might not be the worst idea. But I won't tell you what to do. Honestly... if he's spending more time on the Dominant side of things, he should probably understand that you're under a lot of stress and just need help." Quickly, he glanced back over at the rice. "Because I agree that you probably shouldn't rush into anything serious, but good Dominants want to help subs, too. We're not supposed to be just in it for ourselves."
Tony reached up to tangle his hand with Mike's briefly, squeezing his fingers. "I hope so. I just don't want to hurt him, Mikey. He's been very good to me. I just don't know if I'll be able to do that kind of thing any time soon. Or... ever," he admitted. "The feelings, love thing."
Mike squeezed his hand back, giving a non-committal hum. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but think back for me. Did you ever think that, in the first few weeks after things went badly with this professor of yours? That you'd never love again?"
Tony nodded. "I didn't want to. I really... didn't think it was a good idea for me to have those kinds of feelings for someone else since it went so badly. And I was right - I shouldn't have."
Mike let his head fall forward. "No - Tony - what I'm getting at is that everyone feels that way, after their heart's been broken. That doesn't mean that you really shouldn't ever love again. It's just that love is hard..." He hesitated, swallowing a couple of times, then found Tony's hand again, squeezing it back. "And sometimes you need a break. But you'll probably want to try again."
Tony huffed a little sigh. "Maybe. Right now I don't know. I didn't go looking for love after everything. Looking for it probably isn't a good idea anyway, right? It's supposed to just come to you."
Mike shook his head. "I don't know about that. I'm really not an expert, believe me. I just think you're too young and lovable to give up completely." He tugged at Tony's hand. "Come on now, get down from there so I can hug you. And also because your rice will be done soon."
Tony could only manage a wry smile at that, shrugging lightly. He slid down from the counter though, leaning into Mike's embrace, his head resting on his brother's shoulder. "Thank you for taking care of me, Mikey," he said softly. "This isn't really the best welcome to the school, is it?"
Mike joined the chat 25 days ago
Mike held him tightly. "Yes and no. Taking care of you is a great place to start as a Dominant. I just wish you didn't need it. That you were happier." He pulled back, both his hands on Tony's shoulders. "We'll get you there, though. Sit down; I'll make you a plate and distract you with stories of the worst roommates I've had over the past two years."
Tony sighed softly. "I wish I was too - then you and Ori wouldn't have to worry so much," he mumbled. Nodding, he went over to sit at the table, hands folding on the top of it. "Hopefully they haven't been too bad? Did you have a lot of roommates?"
Mike shook his head as he made up a plate for Tony. "When you're working as a dancer, the money isn't always steady. Or particularly good in the first place. Obviously, I didn't want to ask our father for help, so... I'd have three roommates at a time, sometimes, each one crazier than the last." He set the plate in front of his brother. "Just do what you can for me, Tony. I'll try to keep you distracted. Water? Tea? Both? Something else?"
Tony felt his eyes widen. "Three? Wow. That's a lot. How many bedrooms were there in your place?" He couldn't imagine having so many people in a tiny little space, though he was proud of Mike for wanting to make it work on his own. He nodded, picking up a fork and playing with the rice. "I'm fine, Mikey."
Mike laughed at Tony's wide eyes, reaching out and squeezing his free hand. "Two. We each had to share with someone. They weren't very big, either. I was... well, I wasn't exactly cut off, but I didn't feel like I ought to be spending our father's money doing something he didn't approve of." He shrugged. "So things were pretty lean. I really was mostly happy, though. Good times." Lifting his hand, he tapped Tony on the nose with a single finger. "I'll just put some water with lemon in front of you, and you can drink it or not."
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Meeting the Major || 6/10/17
Hunter and Josephine are summoned to meet with their father, Major Clarington, who has come to town. Hunter gets answers to his question and the Major has a shock warning for them both.
Trigger warnings: abuse, violence, homophobic remarks.
Josephine glanced nervously at Hunter as they reached the hotel door. She was still surprised her father had bothered to come to town since it clearly wasn't to visit Blake but the summons she had got made it clear attendance today was not optional. Waiting while Hunter knocked she brushed down her knee length skirt, her hair neatly tied back and stood as tall as her petite frame allowed. After so many weeks away from her father's watchful gaze she had got used to the freedom of dressing how she liked and being forced to return to the stiffness was something of a nightmare. The door opened and she looked up to see Major Clarington standing tall in his smart suit. He invited them in and she made her way to the couch of the small seating area. Josephine went to sit down, interrupted by a cough as her father looked sternly at her, "Submissives kneel Josephine." Quickly dropping to her knees she glanced up, "I apologise Sir, I wasn't thinking."
Hunter knew that when their Father had called to meet them, it wasn't going to be anything good. Considering Blake was not invited, he knew that the meeting was going to probably involve their sister and her 'horrible actions'. Hunter placed his hand on his sister's lower back to comfort her before he knocked on the door and had to let his hand fall back next to him. He was wearing a neat dress shirt with no wrinkles to be found and matching jeans with dress shoes. His hands were behind his back as he waited on the door to be opened. "Good day, Father." Hunter said with a nod of his head. He entered the room after Josie and waited for their small interaction to be over and for Josie to be on her knees before he moved past her and sat on the couch. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Father."
Josephine stared down at the floor and tried to ignore how it felt to be treated completely differently by her father now she had received the submissive mark. Her head snapped up when she heard her name and her father's deep voice seemed to echo around the room. "Are you working hard Josephine? Are you being a good submissive to lots of Dominants?" The idea of her being a good submissive was not one that many people would share but she clearly wasn't going to tell him the truth. "I'm studying a lot Father...er, Sir and I scene with quite a few different Dominants." Her words were barely out of her mouth when he started to pace the floor, his hands behind his back. "Then clearly you need to pay more attention to family first. How often have you submitted to Hunter? Have you been getting orders from him? Keeping his room neat and cooking for him? I think you have been too busy enjoying yourself and had you been focussed on Hunter and Blake then she wouldn't have felt the need to look for another girl to fill that role." Josephine looked at him and then Hunter, thoroughly confused by his words. "If you had been kneeling regularly for Blake, allowing her to dominate you in household tasks then she could have focussed on the sexual side on her domination with some of the male submissives and not been looking at other girls to fill both roles." Josephine's mouth opened and closed a few times before she spoke. "I'm sorry Sir but she never asked me to scene with her in any way. I should have thought about it. I'm sorry I let you down and it won't happen again." Her eyes firmly to the ground she could only think about the only time Blake dominated her during that silly punishment which left her out of sorts for days and maybe he was right, she should have made herself more available and then everything would be back to normal now.
Hunter sighed softly to himself and stayed quiet when he was ignored by his Father, who instead decided to focus on his sister. Hunter's eyesbrows furrowed at the words that came from his Father's mouth. It didn't sound logical to him at all but there wasn't much that he could say to help Josie. Instead he placed on of his hands on her shoulder, massaging it softly. "Father, Josie has been cooking for us a few times. She has also been doing really well as a submissive and I have no doubts that she will get a claim easily. I apologize for not ordering Josie often enough." He said, nodding his head. Their Father was clearly not happy with either of their answers. He pulled his lip up a little, a sign that he wasn't satisfied. "That is useless. Family and the success of your siblings comes before your own success, Josephine. They should be most important in your life and look what you did now." He said with a disapproving voice. Hunter coughed and quickly talked, hoping to get the attention away from his poor sister. "Father, I have a question for you regarding my mark. I have been dominating only as that is also my only need or position I am interested in, however having this mark, the school forces me at times to having to submit. I would like to know if you'd want me to deny it and keep my Dominant image completely intact or that you would want me to submit when needed. My grades would drop if I didn't do it, Father. Even if it's Hell and disgusting." Hunter said, his words coming out fast as he tried to steer attention away from Josephine for a little bit.
Josephine felt sick at the fact this was somehow her fault. Her fault her sister had been involved with another girl and then overdosed. She could feel Hunter squeezing her shoulder and wanted to turn and thank him but they both knew better. Her appreciation grew as he took some of the blame for not ordering her enough even though Major Clarington dismissed his excuses. Hunter's question came as a surprise to her but it made sense that he would seek clarification. It clearly was a surprise to their father too who took a few moments before he answered. "You have done well son and there is no question that you will be a Dominant but it does you no good to have a poor set of grades on your record. For the moment you may submit for presentations only but it should not be for long." They both looked at him with wide eyes as he continued to speak. "After that girl embarrassing the family name in such a way I have informed her that she is no longer a member of this family. She is not my daughter any longer and therefore not the dominant of the three. This is one of the reasons I have come here, I intend to speak with my lawyers and then with the school to see if I can have you changed to the family dominant Hunter. Then you will not have to worry about submitting again." He gave Hunter a curt nod, continuing to ignore Josephine in her position down on the floor.
Hunter used to be the person who got the most shit from their Father but at that moment it was clear that it was Josephine this time. Of course his Father would blame the submissive, that was something that they both should've expected. He tried to make it slightly better but his Father didn't care for his words. Hunter was glad when he managed to get the attention on himself for a moment and the answer he got actually surprised him. It was good to hear his Father's opinion had changed though, it meant that he wouldn't have to risk punishments. It didn't make it easier personally though, as submitting was something he still hated. Even after the scene with Wyatt and his presentation with Blake. Then the real surprise came and Hunter furrowed his brows in confusion. Surely that wasn't a thing and Blake- disowned. "R-Right, Father." Hunter said, not wanting to leave his Father without an answer or without appreciation, that would do no good. "She's... okay. Right. Do you wish for us to not seek contact, Father?" He asked, trying hard to not show his disgust in his Father's decision. "And thank you, Father. I appreciate the effort you are willing to put into this for my future. I would take the title of the family's Dominant with pride." He said with a nod. Major Clarington hummed and nodded at his son and then his only daughter. "You are the only two Clarington children. There is no other. You will not refer to her as family and you will not check up on her. The girl's health and happiness is not our concern, understood?" He asked, waiting for confirmation. "Understood, Father." Hunter responded.
Josephine was shocked by her father's words. She could understand that her actions had caused Blake's response and that Major Clarington was extremely angry about things but he couldn't be serious about her no longer being a part of the family. What shocked her even more was Hunter's response, how could he just accept this? "Sir, surely there must be another option? She's still your daughter, our sister!" Josephine argued, ignoring the hand on her shoulder that tightened, "You can't just pretend that she doesn't exist." Josephine fell silent straight away and seeing the look in her father's eye. The change to his face was subtle but she recognised it, the slight creases that formed on either side of his eyes and the deepening lines on his forehead. "I'm sorry father..Sir, I didn't meant it. I forgot my place for a moment. I won't make contact with her." The pause that followed was the most unnerving thing of all as they could sense him running through options. "Hunter, I have left a blue folder in the trunk of the car, go fetch it."
Hunter knew his Father and he knew it was better to accept whatever he said than to give him any kind of words back and if you did, they had to be respectful. When Josie started to argue their Father, he knew that it wasn't going to be great. Hunter closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. There was nothing he could say to fix what Josie said. When his Father spoke to him, many things went through his mind but he blocked those options. He was simply going to sternly talk to his sister and he had to go and get something important out of the car instead of Josie because Hunter didn't need a talking to. It was fine. "Of course, Father." Hunter said, grabbing the car keys and the room key that were on the coffee table in front of them. Hunter gave Josie's shoulder one last squeeze before he stood up and opened the hotel room door. Any bad feelings in Hunter's mind were pushed away and he made his way downstairs on automatic pilot.
Josephine tried to take her words back, make it all better but she knew she couldn't. She watched Hunter leave the room with a sense of doom and hoping she was just going to get the yelling she had expected when she arrived. "Stand," he ordered firmly the second the door closed. "Are you arguing with me Josephine?" His palm made contact with her cheek before he had even finished his question. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said quickly but it was too late. His fist drove into her stomach sending her reeling backwards and her back hit the wall with a loud thud. "You need to learn some manners. Apparently that school of yours is giving you grand ideas." His belt was in his hand before she even realised what was happening and he yanked her forward the leather hitting her stomach and hips moving round to her back and thighs as he brought the belt down against her over and over. "Please father I'm sorry, I won't question you again," she sobbed as the belt began to cut into her skin where her top had ridden up. The marks were all around her torso, they always were. Places that even in a cheerleading outfit were hidden. Josephine fell to the ground, her body aching, "Please Sir, I'll do what you said. I won't mention her again." She slid back against the couch, curled up as best she could, wiping away her trickling tears as she heard the door open. "Be sure you do follow my orders," Major Clarington barked at her as he dropped the belt onto a chair and turned to take the folder from Hunter. "Thank you son."
Hunter made his way downstairs with his mind blank, focused on the task at hand. He held the keys in his hands tightly as he moved quick, not wanting to keep his Father waiting but mostly because his feelings didn't say anything good about the situation. He tried to block that part out, though. Reaching the car, Hunter opened it and grabbed the blue folder from his Father's car. He closed the trunk and locked the car before he made his way back up the stairs again. With the room's card in hand, he made his way back to their floor and room number. Taking a deep breath first, Hunter unlocked the door and opened it. The sight in front of him was worse than he could've imagined. His Father didn't even try to hide the fact that he just abused his sister. Standing in shock, Hunter let his Father take the folder. It took a minute, but then a switch turned in Hunter's head. He slammed the door shut behind him before he angrily moved towards his Father. "Do you think it's okay to hurt Josie like that?" Hunter spat, his face not displaying anything other than anger. "Don't you dare to do that ever again!" He said. Hunter forcefully shoved his Father, sending him stumbling back. He had let this man hurt his sisters way too many times and seeing Josie crying on the floor was not something he could handle seeing again. Perhaps the time away from his Father changed him slightly.
Josephine twisted around, crying out in pain at the action as she heard Hunter shouting. "Hunter no!" she pleaded as he continued to yell. Nothing good was going to come out of it and the last thing she wanted was him hurt too. Major Clarington quickly found his feet again, his face showing little emotion after years of army experience. "It seems this school was a bad choice for all of you," he said as he picked up the belt again. "Josephine thought she could argue with me and got a reminder of her place and it seems you need one too. I will not have you disrespect me like this Hunter. You may be the family dominant now but that does not mean you can tell me what to do." Josephine whimpered from where she was, Hunter had stood up for her and she wanted to do the same but she was already in so much pain she couldn't bear any more and Hunter was going to be punished regardless. She closed her eyes tight as she heard the swish of the belt through the air and could only hope it didn't last long.
Hunter was angry now, which was never a good thing. His moments of rage never ended up well and it would be rare if it was different this time. His vision was clouded and his hearing was selective. "You don't punish a submissive by beating them senseless. You don't dominate with fear." He pretty much growled. Of course it was going to get a reaction from his Father, he expected that much. The belt was back in his Father's hand and he swung, hitting Hunter's chest. He winced and immediately when for his Father's arm, trying to keep the belt away from himself. Having his strength focused on his Father's arm, Hunter was pushed back against the wall without realizing it on time. His hands were pinned against the wall, leaving his Father's knee free to hit him in his stomach several times, making him want to double over. When Major Clarington released his hands, that's exactly what Hunter did. He coughed, not expecting the hits of the belt that followed it. Since Major Clarington had his hands back, he folded the belt again and striked his son's back for as many times as he could manage while the boy had his defenses down. Hunter hissed and growled, moving away and standing up again, charging forward to his father. Hunter's lower arm landed on his Father's chest, pinning him against the wall as his arm slowly slid up towards his throat. With his other arm, he charged forward to his his Father in the stomach as well, like he had done to him. Major Clarington was not giving up though, his arms flailing to try and hit his son again. "Hunter you stop right now or you won't be allowed to call yourself a Claringon either. I will ruin you." Major Clarington ordered. Hunter was breathing heavily from adrenaline and his arms were restless, not ready to stop swinging yet. However, he had no choice. He released his Father and backed up, his adrenaline making him fidget and restless. "Stand by the wall, leaning over." Major Clarington ordered. He was also breathing hard, most likely from the hit to his stomach. Hunter knew that he had to do it, otherwise his future was gone. It was hard to focus but on those words he had to focus. There was no other choice. Hunter made his way to the wall and settled his upper arms against it, his head tucking in and arching his back. Major Clarington stood behind him, ready with his belt to strike. "You will never disrespect me again or question my choices." He said before striking his son's back twice. "To be a Clarington, you will follow my orders and respect them. You are lucky to be a Clarington." He said before striking his son's back twice again. "You have one sister and you will help Josephine to become a better submissive. She is yours to take care of like you are hers to take care of. Dominate her often." Major Clarington said before striking Hunter's back again twice. "We're done." He said, before turning around. Hunter winced as he moved, his back burning and his stomach hurting. However, he didn't want to show his pain. "Let's go, Josie." He said, his voice hoarse.
Josephine knew she couldn't do anything to help Hunter. Both men were far bigger and stronger than her and she edged over towards the door as they struggled wishing desperately she could do something for her brother but she also knew her father wouldn't think twice about adding to what she had already received. As Hunter gave in and obeyed their father she closed her eyes and covered her ears all to aware of what would follow. It tore her apart to see Hunter in that position but Major Clarington wouldn't stop until he had driven the message home to them both. The warning that she had to submit to him regularly came as a shock and she glanced up in surprise before quickly dropping her eyes again and not wanting to draw attention to her position. Hunter called to her and Josephine hauled herself to her feet reaching for her brother's hand as they made their way to the door. "I'll expect an update in one month exactly," called the Major as they opened the door. Neither of them responded as they gingerly made their way out into the hallway. Despite the pain they both knew they had to conceal what had just happened.
Hunter had trouble breathing, still affected by the knee he had gotten to his stomach. The only thing to his advantage was the adrenaline still soaring through his body, which numbed the pain for him slightly. However, that meant that it was going to get way worse once it was out of his body. He coughed and squeezed his sister's hand. Things like this had happened before, but he never got to witness his sisters like this before and Josie had never see him getting punished either. "I'm glad I'm wearing black." He mumbled. Hunter could feel his shirt slightly sticking to his back and he knew that meant that a few of the wounds had drawn some blood. He reached for the car keys in his pocket once they got close to Hunter's car. "I love you, Josie." He mumbled as he unlocked the car doors.
Josephine cringed as she heard his comment about wearing black, she just had to hope the weather was bad for the next week and she could cover up without raising eyebrows. She slid into the passenger seat of the car, hissing as the seatbelt tightened around her stomach and the seatback rubbed against her back. "I love you too Hunter and I'm so sorry. If I hadn't argued none of this would have happened." The guilt she felt was almost as bad as the pain from the bruises and she knew it would take days for them both to recover. Once they got back to school Josephine looked at him, "I can't go to my room Hunt, Robin's going to see. Can I stay with you tonight?"
Hunter was going to have to give up on swimming during his free days for a little while, that much was clear. Sex was also off the table, but that was something he knew he could handle. Something he was now extremely puzzled about was his sexuality. He was still not strong enough to completely ignore his Father's wishes and he didn't want to end up like Blake, disowned. He sighed, removing the thought from his mind for a little while. Hunter sat in the car, trying to sit a little bit forward so his back wasn't to the chair. "It's not your fault. It was going to happen anyways." Hunter said as he winced. The drive to school was bad, with a lot of uncomfort coming from sitting in the car seat and having to focus despite the pain. Once they arrived, Hunter was glad he could stand again. "Yes, you're ordered to my room." Hunter said, walking back to Josie to grab her hand once again. They were going to have to get through this one together. "We'll bind each other, okay? It'll be okay." He reassured her.
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Is Brallie incest/endgame?
I’m quite new to the fandom. I’ve caught up with The Fosters just a couple of weeks ago, so I’m sorry if this post is repetitive (and long as fuck).
I’m a Brallie shipper. I wasn’t at the beginning. In season 1A I thought they were cute but I actually kinda liked Wyatt too - I know, don’t even mention it - so it didn’t really matter to me if Brallie happened or didn’t. I wasn’t particularly into Brandon either. Brallie grew on me slowly, but inexorably, especially after they broke up the first time. Why? Because Brandon gave up on Callie, even though he wanted her for himself.
I see a lot of Brallie shippers saying that Callie shouldn’t have been adopted on one side, and Brallie haters saying that their relationship is incest on the other.
I disagree with both.
I disagree with Brallie shippers because we know how much Callie needed a family. And yes, she had Robert at some point, but Robert honestly kept making mistakes with her. Trust is earned slowly, and season 1 was all about Lena and Stef earning Callie’s trust. By supporting her and her brother. She liked Stef and Lena better and I can’t blame her. She probably harbored some unconscious hatred towards this new random father that popped out of nowhere and didn’t allow her to get adopted. Also, lingering issues with male authority figures, everyone? Not to mention the fact that Jude had already been adopted by the Fosters and - at least at the time - it was important for her to be with him. I don’t blame Callie for being naive and the needy teenager she was at the time. I do believe that the whole Brallie issue should have been investigated more thoroughly by Stef and Lena, but that’s another issue. It was all a matter of timing. It was too late for Robert and too soon for Brallie.
Think about it. If Callie had never been adopted by the Fosters to stay with Brandon, sooner or later she would have resented him for it (at least if it had happened in season two. By season 3 I was starting to believe that they could have made it). Because when their relationship started they were just kids, guys. With a lot of dreams and good intentions, sure; they probably believed they would love each other forever or something, but they were sixteen. How many of you know couples that are together and still love each other since they were sixteen?
Brallie is a good couple from the start, because they always completed each other, but they wouldn’t be half as beautiful if they hadn't given up on being together so many times. Why? Because distance makes the heart grow fonder. And when I say distance I mean their self-imposed distance. Trying not to think about something is the same as thinking about it. So Brandon and Callie trying not to think about each other romantically is the same as them constantly thinking about each other as more than siblings. You ever wondered why when they are in a room together everyone gets tense? The reason why haters yell “incest” from the top of their lungs every time they have a scene together, even those where they are literally doing nothing romantic? Because they keep thinking of their romance, like shippers do. And they can’t stand not being able to unthink it. So they hate. They are all mini-Stefs going around screaming “WHAT IF SHE’S PREGNANT WITH BRANDON’S CHILD”. They don’t want to acknowledge it but they can’t unsee it.
Also, the incest argument makes zero sense. Incest has become a taboo - and I say that it has become because there are more than a few cases of incest in history, in royal families for example - because inbreeding can result in children with health problems. Now, some countries, have extended the taboo to legal relatives that aren’t consanguineous because it would be a mess otherwise, with papers and everything. If you think it’s because of ethical reasons you’re so mistaken. Incest isn’t like, let’s say, murdering someone. In some places it’s legal if it’s between consensual adults, even biologically related ones! So going around using the incest card like it’s a mortal sin or something honestly makes me facepalm.
There are cases and cases. In this one, specifically, we are speaking about two teenagers that fell in love and HAD - consensual - SEX before they became siblings. Was it wrong of them to have sex? To get involved romantically with each other at all? Maybe. Does it matter? No. Because, hello? Feelings can’t just disappear because you will them to. Actually, as I said in the previous paragraph, the more you try to make them disappear the more you end up thinking about them and getting frustrated because you can’t get rid of them. And they grow and grow and grow. Which is exactly what happened to Brandon and Callie. Forbidden love, you know? It’s called the best kind of love because the fact that you can’t live it properly also means that you can never actually get tired of it, it can’t burn out because you can’t give it the time and space to burn in the first place.
What is wrong here isn’t Callie and Brandon falling in love. What is wrong is that they were forced in a dynamic that isn’t theirs. They were forced to be siblings legally, but that doesn’t mean that they will ever be in their hearts. Is it incest legally (for the state of California)? Apparently. Call it however you want (though they didn’t do anything since the adoption, so, legally, there’s no incest there). Is it incest in truth? No. Because they were never siblings to begin with. You can’t accuse the writers of forcing Brallie’s romantic relationship even now that they are adopted, because it’s not forcing it! That’s literally the relationship they had from the start. On the contrary, it would be weird if a piece of paper that states that they are siblings could magically erase their feelings for each other. We would have solved half of the problems in the world if that was the case. The romance still lingering between them is called continuity and coherence, everybody. You don’t like it because you feel like it reflects badly on foster children? Legit. You don’t like it because you hate Brandon (which seems to be the case with most Brallie haters)? Fine (though I really don’t see how anyone could hate him). But let’s be real, you don’t hate it because it’s incest. The incest card is just easy. And cheap. You hate them because you recognize that their romance is strong even if you don’t want to. And you can’t unthink it. And it frustrates you.
Do I believe that Brallie will be endgame? I’m not sure. I feel like they put too much effort into their relationship for them not to be endgame. Brandon and Callie aren’t like all their other love interests, which basically disappeared once B or Cal broke up with them; they are both main characters and, like them or not, it’s only natural that they are the most beautiful couple in the show. They will never disappear from each other’s lives. I don’t know how you get over your feelings when you can’t physically distance yourself from the source. It makes sense for them to be endgame because that’s the path the story has taken. Do I trust the writers to keep writing things properly? No. Because they are human and they are influenced by opinions and ratings and whatnot and not all stories end as they naturally would. The Fosters isn’t real life, it’s still a show, and it’s written by someone that can chose to fuck it up if they want. Brallie would be endgame if they were real people, though. I strongly believe this.
Anything can happen at this point, but I’m glad Callie - almost - and Brandon are finally 18. It would be even better if there was a time jump. If the writers decide to make Brallie happen romantically again, you can bet they won’t let each other go ever again. But it can still go both way depending on the writers, so we can only wait and see.
I just want to remind everyone that if Callie turns 18 and chooses to be unadopted, she can do it. Are you going to scream incest even then? Seems pretty stupid to me to use the word in the first place, since this adoption is clearly kind of rickety.
Also, she can marry her way back into the family. Just saying.
#brallie#long post is long#i have a lot of feelings and i need to vent them out#callie jacob#brandon foster#the fosters
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Show Review 29/03/2017
This show was the most important performance for me because it was the one I was seeing with my Mum. I was actually quite nervous. I really wanted her to understand why I keep going back to see the show again and again and why it means so much to me. My Mum says I’m obsessed. I say I’m passionate. Maybe somewhere in-between. ;)
I was also full of trepidation because my Mum is a cynic, and very hard to please. She is much more critical, generally-speaking, than I am and I was worried that she simply wouldn’t find the play as wonderful as I do and I was so desperate for her approval of it. If she didn’t think as highly as possible of it, I would be devastated. My Mum read and enjoyed the books - she would borrow my copy after I’d finished with it on every release. The last time she read one of them was nearly exactly ten years ago, when the last book came out. We saw every film together. There’s a lot of personal history for us that is attached to Harry Potter and in a relationship that has been tested at times to its absolute limit, the Harry Potter memories are positives of our time together that stand out for me. It was vital to me that this memory would be as jubilant as all those memories and that she would understand what the play and its themes meant to me and think as highly of the play as she did of the books and their themes and histories for us. Given that we disagree far more than we agree, my worries were not unfounded.
She thought the play was “outstanding”. The highlights for her were the acting, the choreography, the special effects and the music. She was particularly admiring of Anthony, Sam, Noma, Jamie and Anabel (as Myrtle), even though Noma and Jamie both stumbled on some lines (just momentary hesitation while they remembered the line. I don’t know if it was something in the air, as there were a couple of moments where I thought the cast might break, or whether they are all just very tired - it was enough for a first-timer like my Mum to pick up on but it wasn’t held against them at all). During certain moments she actually grabbed me and grinned at me like a child in Hamley’s, her eyes just shining with awe, such as in the Polyjuice transformations and the appearance of the dementors. I’ve never seen her react to something like that.
She wants to see it again. My Mum never wants to see anything twice. She gets bored incredibly easily - as I said, she’s really hard to please. She’s also disabled - it’s worth bearing in mind that sitting upright for five hours is difficult for her. But she wants to do it again. I didn’t dare to dream that she would want to see it more than once. There is no greater compliment to the show, for me, than my Mum wanting to see it more than once. For this particular performance, her reaction alone was everything to me, I wouldn’t have minded if anything else wasn’t ideal.
However, as luck would have it, the performance itself today was an absolute smasher - probably the second-best I’ve seen. The cast was almost entirely in their original roles, bar one - Josh Wyatt was on as Karl/Dudley - I really liked him in this role - I thought his Dudley in particular was very good:
I found out at the end of the night that @mrsellacott was at the same performance - it’s a shame I didn’t know she was in or I would have gone to introduce myself. I know what she looks like (though she doesn’t know what I look like, mwah-ha-ha-ha) so I feel foolish for not spotting her four rows in front of me (she was in AA, I was in C but I walked right between where she was sitting and the stage more than once - I’m so unobservant, but then when you’ve been holding your bladder for the interval, the loos beckon you rather determinedly).
She has already posted her recap (https://mrsellacott.tumblr.com/post/159003741424/cursed-child-review-29317) so I apologise if I repeat anything she has already mentioned. I notice different things in every performance, so indeed, I apologise if I’m repeating something I’ve mentioned in a previous recap, or something someone else has mentioned.
Act One Scene One:
Albus and Lily were holding hands on arriving at King’s Cross. Sibling moments within the Potters are few and far between in the play so that was lovely.
Act One Scene Two:
Ron and James laughed really hard when Albus asked about being put in Slytherin. Is it a running joke or do they find the idea ludicrous?
When Rose went to get onto the train after telling Hermione she couldn’t give a Professor love, she hurriedly said “Bye, love you, bye” as she left. It was cute and Rose-y and genuine. I love ad-libs - they make things even more real somehow.
When the kids left the platform, Albus last of all, Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry’s neck and he held her and gave her the sweetest kiss. Swoon. Okay, I promise to try to keep the Hinny swooning to a minimum.
Act One Scene Three:
Cherelle varies the “It’s exciting!” line from show to show and my favourite version of it is the one she did in this performance where she grabs Albus and shakes him back and forth as she squeals “It’s exciiiiitiiiiiiinnng!” Her enthusiasm is infectious to the audience and it always gets a good laugh when delivered like this.
Act One Scene Four:
During the flying lesson, Madam Hooch stopped the other students in their teasing of Albus by saying a scolding”Ah-ah!” at them and pointing her finger in termination when they Karl calls Albus a squib. This isn’t scripted but I really liked it because it bothered me that there was no scripted reaction from Hooch (though I understand that for the stage one has to make allowances in terms of cutting details from scenes that would extend the play). I always imagined Hooch (and any other teacher for that matter) putting a foot down if they heard that kind of thing from any student toward another. Anyway, I hope Helena keeps doing that.
The DADA scene - Rose really did try to help Albus with his wand in this scene. She hurried over to him and very briefly tried to assist and then said ”I can’t help” and re-joined the class.
Act One Scene Five:
When Hermione nagged Harry about his paperwork with a “Consider this a gentle nudge” he avoided her eye and tried to wave it off with an abrupt “Yeah, yeah, yeah”. It was childish and gave me strong book throwbacks with Hermione nagging Harry about homework or revision or working out his egg clue and I liked it. At this response, Hermione seemed to think he wasn’t quite heeding her authority, so she added the “from the Minister for Magic” which Harry reluctantly acknowledged, still avoiding her eyes. Such a kid. (I love it when something in the play gives an anamnesis of the books).
Act One Scene Seven:
Poppy gave the softest chuckle at Lily and her fairy wings. It was so natural and the way she was looking at her was with so much love and fondness. Poppy is one of the more unsung heroes of the cast. Her role isn’t as big as Noma’s so she gets less recognition but she deserves just as much, because her performance is just as outstanding. The way she looks at the people she loves, Albus, Lily, James, Harry, even Heroine and Ron - it’s so hard for me to remember that she’s acting. She is utterly, utterly convincing and she just radiates love and warmth. I imagine Poppy to be the kindest, warmest person in real life, because I really feel it from her on stage. She’s my favourite actress of the cast. It amazes me how readily she can cry real tears, too. She’s superb.
Jamie extended the “never wanted gratitude” line. It was “I never wanted gratitude or anything-” before Albus cut him off. As I’ve said, I love these ad-libs and actors playing with lines because it gives the play so much authenticity for each show and it works better for the cast because they have more to play with from each other.
Sam skipped the “Sometimes” in the infamous “wish you weren’t my Dad” line. I really like it like this because it makes it so much more hurtful and provocative to Harry. The line became simply “I wish you weren’t my Dad”. It changes the line so much - it is no more just something Albus is feeling on a bad day, the absence of the “sometimes” makes it definitive with no room for alleviation. It’s brutal. I’ve not noticed Sam changing it like this before (has anyone else?) but I prefer the line that way. Harry’s following line was the same “Well, there are times I wish you weren’t my son.”
Act One Scene Eight:
Little Harry for this performance was Jabez Cheeseman (epic name) and he is my favourite little Harry so far. He is adorable! He is indeed, really little, the smallest of the all the cast members (child actors included), and he’s excellent in his role. The child actors, particularly the young Harrys, as so impressive.
The whooshing noise in the transition between this dream scene at the lighthouse and scene nine sounds like waves. I don’t know if that’s intentional or if that’s just my interpretation.
Act One Scene Nine:
Ginny was stroking Harry’s hair when comforting him in bed. Sweet.
Act One Scene Ten:
I really feel for Rose in this scene. She is really trying with Albus, yes, it’s prompted but she’s trying. Cherelle added a new line here (it might not be new - maybe I just haven’t noticed it before - can anyone else weigh in? It’s definitely not scripted): when Albus tells Rose to leave him alone she gets really frustrated; she’s visibly hurt and angrily says “Why are you so angry all the time?” (unscripted) but they are then interrupted by Scorpius. Rose saying”I’m here, OK?” is very genuine. Rose has a good heart and she does care.
Sam was really on his game today, he gave the best performance I’ve seen from him. When he was explaining to Scorpius the conversation he overhead between Amos and Harry, he quotes Amos and says it exactly as Amos said it, same tones, same pronunciation, same expression of outrage, everything and it showed how much he’d been influenced by Amos (fuelled by their shared animosity toward Harry). However, Albus’s “I need to do this” shows that his motives behind the mission are selfish.
Act One Scene Twelve:
I mentioned in my last recap that when sitting in Row AA I could hear things in the general meeting that weren’t on microphones. In particular was Martin Johnston indignantly saying “that was unnecessary” when Hermione conjured silence from the crowd. I listened out for this time from Row C and could still hear it - he does say this every performance, it seems.
Act One Scene Fourteen:
This scene opens with an elderly witch pushing a walking frame which gets stuck. She hits it with her wand and it suddenly shoots out of her reach and zooms away. When the frame shot away this time, the witch said “You bugger” in an endearing northern accent. It was the first time I’ve heard it - can anyone else say whether she says it every time?
Act One Scene Sixteen:
When Albus, Delphi and Scorpius stand outside the telephone box at the Ministry, you can hear Big Ben chiming in the background. It’s a cool detail and I don’t remember noticing it before. Obviously, sound effects don’t change between performances, but as I said, part of the joy of seeing repeat performances it noticing new things each time - you just can’t pick up on everything in one show - there’s too much to focus on!
Anthony didn’t do his sea lion barks. :(
I love how Jamie!Scorpius looks at Delphi after he tells Paul!Albus to go to his room. He really grins at her, you can really see how much fun he’s having but it’s also as if he wants a bit of Delphi’s approval. Jamie!Scorpius was so dorky with his cloak that he actually almost fell over. I’m sure Jamie’s stumble here is intentional but it looks klutzy and accidental. He’s brilliant. Noma!Delphi gets impatient with the boys very quickly when they tussle with each other. She gets in between them with an impatient “Excuse me.”
Act One Scene Eighteen:
Hermione put her arms around Harry when she was trying to reassure him over what he said to Albus. I love the Harry/Hermione relationship. I only wish there was as much Harry/Ron in the play.
Noma did the two-fingered “I’m watching you” gesture to Paul. She doesn’t always do it.
Paul’s mortified moan is wonderful as he buries his face in his hands once Harry and Hermione leave. Paul is pure brilliance in this scene. I don’t know how he doesn’t crack every time.
Act One Scene Nineteen.
Paul!Albus got indignant at Jamie!Scorpius teasing him about kissing his Aunt, as if he felt Scorpius didn’t appreciate what he, Albus, had just been put through. :D
Jamie!Scorpius got so overexcited and high-pitched at seeing Sonnets of a Sorcerer and collapsed onto his knees looking as though all his dreams had come true. The audience loved it; it got a big laugh.
Act Two Scene Six:
This is always one of the more poignant scenes for me. Scorpius’s line about the “little tingle” is example of Jack Thorne’s genius because he knows that is exactly how the audience feels (Of course he does: he’s a Potterhead). I find the Hide and Seek soundtrack simply beautiful here. To anyone who knows the song but hasn’t heard it in this scene, it doesn’t sound like the original song. The song is cut to start from “Hide and seek, trains and sewing machines…” It sounds as though it is being sung by a choir from inside a nearby church that you are standing outside of. It’s so, so beautiful. If you recall the Part One film adaptation of Deathly Hallows, where Harry and Hermione visit Godric's Hollow: in that scene you can hear a choir singing from inside a church on screen. The soundtrack to the play in this scene sounds just like that as the theatre glows around you to make you feel as though you are in Hogwarts. It’s one of the most beautiful scenes of the play and it never fails to give me and everyone else a “tingle”.
Act Two Scene Seven:
Cherelle was great in this scene. She really went for it when cheering for Harry “HARRYYYYY! HARRYYYY! HARRYYYY!” She sounded like a football fan. Then, when she questioned the boys and Durmstrang!Albus apologised to her, Scorpius did the most ridiculous accent I’ve ever heard saying “Mmmmmm, yeeeessss” as Albus was trying to cover for him. Oh, these boys.
Act Two Scene Eleven:
I hadn’t noticed before that when Hermione warns “if anyone else interrupts me again” it’s because Polly and Yann are just in the process of rising out of the chairs again with the mouths open to speak and Hermione sits them down with her hand as she says this.
Act Two Scene Twelve:
In the musical transition between this scene and the last (impeccably smooth) you can hear the staircases being moved on, but the set pieces are so soft in sound that the movement of them against the music sounds like a background of soft rain dissipating into the scene. It’s something I noticed before but forgot to mention. Perhaps it doesn’t sound that way to others but it is what it sounds like to me and only in the context of this scene. It’s the most haunting, beautiful, soulful, emotive sound and it will stir emotion inside me before I’ve even laid eyes on the actors.
Act Two Scene Thirteen:
This was my favourite performance of Alex’s that I’ve seen. I thought he was brilliant tonight. He was softer in general and his timing and his comedy was superb. When Harry asked if he was sure Scorpius was his, there was the longest pause I’ve seen. It was as if Draco was trying to work Harry out, did Harry genuinely believe the rumours or was he just trying to antagonise, or simply just clutching at straws? Alex’s “take that back” was almost comical, almost playful, as if he didn’t entirely believe Harry meant it but that Draco wanted an excuse to get wands out anyway; he drummed a pointed finger on the table with every word. When he drew his wand and Harry warned him, he emitted this high-pitched “Uhhh” as if he was really quickly thinking about what Harry said before deciding he really does want to do it. It was funny, but the Malfoy confidence with which he expressed his thoughts without becoming sinister and taking from the scene was excellent.
Act Two Scene Fifteen:
I finally saw the infamous “cooking” reaction from Alex, which I hadn’t seen him do in this way before. Upon hearing that Harry is the cook, there is a beat while he takes this in and then the biggest, most charming, adorable grin, as though this is the best piece of news he has ever heard and he’s immediately thinking about how much fun he is going to have over teasing Harry about this.
The rest of his lines in this scene were soft. I love it when Alex plays this scene soft because it seems that Draco really feels what he trying to say. Sometimes Alex can be quite rough with this speech which I understand, given the character and his reluctant to show vulnerability but I think it takes away from what is a very profound few moments from him so I loved his delivery this time.
Act Two Scene Sixteen:
The library scene. As well as being the best performance from Alex I’ve ever seen, today was also the best performance from Anthony I’ve ever seen (and Sam, as mentioned earlier). He really showed why he got that Olivier nom. He was incredible. He has never made me laugh and cry so much in one scene. Up until this performance, my favourite version of this scene had been when I saw James Le Lacheur as Scorpius (I’m sad she’s not staying on, I’d love more opportunity to see her in the role) but Anthony did it for me this time around. We all know how heavy this scene gets but a couple of comical moments include Scorpius giving an impromptu apologetic wave with one hand to Polly when she tells them to “Sshhh!”, Scorpius really starts to lose his patience and raises his voice when he says “This is bigger than you and your Dad” - Polly looks around again and he turns to her and puts both hands up in the air in apologetic surrender which got a chuckle from the audience. The highlight of this scene was the hug at the end. I’ve never seen Sam hug him so forcefully. As soon as Scorpius grabbed his hand to shake it (sneaky Albus never wanted just a handshake) he pulled him in for the hug so forcefully that Anthony completely lost his balance and fell into him and Sam was literally holding him up with his head buried on Anthony’s left shoulder, facing away from the audience, while Anthony just hung there looking awkwardly at the audience. There was this pause and then Anthony, pure genius that he is, just goes “Okay…” (it was a slightly muffled “Okay” because Sam was squeezing him so hard and Anthony’s face was squished) and his delivery of it was hysterical, as if he was gently trying not to offend a mentally unstable person. Big audience reaction.
Act Three Scene Five:
The Neville revelation got a gasp, from a handful of people, but one person in particular gave the biggest, most comical gasp I’ve ever heard and then the rest of the audience all laughed.
I have to say that I’ve never been convinced by Paul Bentall as Snape but this performance changed that. He made me tear up. Paul normally raises his voice quite a bit, which I don’t like as I find it very out of character but he hardly did so at all this time. He was definitely convincing in this show and the way he broke when Scorpius revealed what he knew - he really showed Snape as a broken, lonely, desperate man and it worked so well. I thought this different approach made his relationship with Hermione work much better in the next scene. Kudos.
Act Three Scene Seven:
Paul (Thornley) didn’t do the thumbs-up when Ron finds out he and Hermione are married in the other world. :(
Act Three Scene Nine:
Anthony did the long drawn-out version of “it’s HARRYY POTTAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” He doesn’t always exclaim it this way, sometimes he just says “It’s Harry Potter!!” I love it when he draws out his euphoria at seeing Harry because the audience loves it and they really feel his relief. It always gets a big reaction when he delivers it like this and the audience claps and whoops because they are just as overjoyed to see Harry back to life but their reaction is definitely fed by how Anthony delivers the line. Anthony also did the McGonagall dance which gets a good laugh. He doesn’t always do it.
Act Four Scene Six:
I know I promised to keep the Hinny swooning to a minimum and I think I’ve been quite successful but the kiss was awesome, as always. It was quite short but so full of emotion. Jamie literally grabbed Poppy and took her off her feet - she had to step into him to get her footing back. He also interrupted her - the end of her sentence got lost in his mouth. ^^ Swoon.
Act Four Scene Ten:
Paul took his coat off in this scene as he volunteers and it’s the first time I’ve seen him do it. @mrsellacott can tell you more about this. https://mrsellacott.tumblr.com/post/158997227469/with-paul-thornley-at-the-stage-door-following
Act Four Scene Fourteen:
Anthony’s robe-thing on the staircase with Rose gets more and more adorable and ridiculous. This was the first time I’ve seen Cherelle really get into Anthony’s face and she held the longest beat, ever. Scorpius was nervous, Albus, was nervous, the audience was nervous because none of us knew what she might do but then she just calls him Scorpion King and laughs and Scorpius looks slightly relieved. Albus’s mouth falls open. Scorpius gave Albus the most adorable hug. They were standing quite apart for most of the scene (I still haven’t seen the nose hoop in any of the performances I’ve gone to) but you could see Scorpius thinking about hugging Albus. Part of him wanted to and part of him didn’t want to and then he just decided to go for it and slowly, gingerly put his arms around Albus’s middle (Albus was standing above him) and just kind of rests his head against Albus’s side. It was adorable.
Act Four Scene Fifteen:
Albus telling Harry that his childhood was a constant struggle got a big laugh from the audience. Jamie was very weepy in this scene - more weepy in this one than any other. Aaaaaaaannnnddd he did the hoodie thing! Not the tie-thing (because he hadn’t ruined the tie presentation this time) but he zipped up Albus’s hoodie and neatened out the hood behind his neck, smoothing his shoulders. Swoon.
And that’s the recap. It got very long, sorry!
#cursed child#harry potter and the cursed child#sam clemmett#anthony boyle#alex price#poppy miller#scorpius malfoy#draco malfoy#albus severus potter#cursed child cast#hinny
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Wrestlemania 33
Hello I'm some 15 year old idiot here to give his opinion on what may end up being one of the most important nights in wrestling history. Let's start with a quick look at the pre show. I thought the match between Neville and Aries was really really fucking good, which made up for the kinda disappointing Baron vs Dean. Neville keeping the belt is the best thing for it I think, he should hold that belt for absolute years to be honest. The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal was won by Mojo Rawly........I'm just gonna say BRAUN FUCKING STROWMAN and leave it at that. Now as for the main card I think the wrestling was incredible due in large part to the opening match of Shane vs AJ Styles. I should just say now I'm a massive AJ fan I think that man can do no wrong but even without hailing everything he does as proof god is real it's obvious he had a great match, especially after factoring Shane into the equation. Don't get me wrong Shane's no Ellsworth but he's no Kurt Angle, never the less he wrested very well in this match. I like that he didn't jump off anything huge in an attempt to kill himself but instead actually properly wrestled, he performed well and sold pretty damn good (although kicking out of a Styles Clash isn't great) and putting over AJ and allowing him his first Mania win is of course a great thing and I seriously believe AJ should main event next year. Moving on the the 4-way elimination match for the RAW Women's Championship, it was pretty good. As I've said the show was full of great wrestling and that's regardless of gender. The women did a really good job in telling stories and making everyone seem good. For example, Bayley, Sasha and Charlotte having to team up to get rid of Nia, it made Nia look like an absolute beast kept her looking strong despite going out early which is always gonna be worst for you. It came down to Charlotte vs Bayley which I like as it displayed how Bayley could win on her own and showed how good she was to a more casual audience who at this point probably saw her as kinda weak. The outcome was good with Bayley keeping the belt, hopefully this shows a good, long, legitimising run with the title for her and deservedly so. Now for the RAW Tag Team Title triple threat (fatal 4-way) ladder match. Overall, DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE! Nah but really the wrestling was good the surprise was brilliant and then Jeff half killed himself. Who can complain? Now if you ask me the John Cena and Nikki Bella vs The Miz and Maryse was the biggest missed opportunity of the night. If team Miz had won it really would've cemented them as the power couple of the WWE at least until Cena comes back from doing films and TV probably around Summer Slam. Plus you could've used this momentum to push him either back into the IC Title picture or up into the main even scene. The proposal at the end was pretty adorable though I can't lie. But the match at least felt important and I really enjoyed the build up to it with the fake Total Bella episodes being a highlight maybe even of the WWE Year so far as far as promos are concerned. Now my most hyped match of the night Jericho vs Owens (should I mention I'm just doing these as I think of them?). Hands down the best built match of the night with the Festival of Friendship and the list being absolutely amazing. Of course it was going to be a sound wrestling match it's Chris "Best Jackets Ever" Jericho vs Kevin "Fuck You And Your Friendship" Owens. But the chemistry these two have is great and I really hope this isn't the last time we see this match. A highlight for me was Owens putting the walls on Jericho which just made him seem like an even bigger dick and if you ask me he's the best true heel in wresting right now. The right person won allowing Owens to keep some momentum despite Goldberg happening plus I think he can really elevate the belt like Cena did in 2015. Now the SmackDown Women's Championship six pack challenge. It was pretty good I think, Naomi won because of course what else would be the right option she's talented and can really go with the best of them. I just hope her and Alexa don't become the Sasha and Charlotte of SmackDown and she gets a nice long title run to Summer Slam or maybe even further. I don't have a huge amount to say about this match so I just wanna say the SmackDown need to do something anything about there tag team situation, RAW has made a good start with the Hardy Boys but still those belts mean nothing right now. Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt next then. It was okay I guess. It sucks that Bray had to loose I was hoping they'd really get behind him on this title run and he could really establish himself as a strong main event star because he's a talented working and in a see of "I'm here because I wanna be the best" wrestlers it's nice to have somebody who's motivation is "I'm gonna fuck up all of your shit". Hopefully he wins it back in the rematch I think that'd be pretty good. Lesnar vs Dadberg now and OH MY GOD I BLINKED AND DIDNT MISS THE WHOLE MATCH WHAT?!?!?!?!?!???????!!!!?!???!?!? No but to be fair it was entertaining to see two giant ass guys kick the ever loving shit out of each other for a couple minutes and in that respect it was kinda an oddity on the card. It was now technical masterpiece but I think it was just as enjoyable. Brock winning has come about 4 months to late but hey at least we got it and Lesnar is a champ and he always adds some legitimacy to a belt because of his whole UFC eating everybody thing. Match of the night for me was Seth vs HHH. It was great from a wrestling stand point and from a storyline one to, Seth being a former protected heel now forced to be an underdog face because of his injured knee was a great change in dynamic for his character and he sold the shit out of it to. Triple H's maker vs destroyer angel going in was good to, his entrance was fucking ridiculous so I enjoyed it but Seth's. Oh baby Seth's. With the gold and the fire and the everything it was spectacular. The match itself was really good, the unsanctioned stipulation wasn't used all to often, unlike HHH and HBK's beautiful match of the same kind, but when it was it was effective with Steph going through a table and Seth's leg in the steal chair. I really liked how Seth used all his former finishers and signatures before getting to the pedigree kinda showing how he's changed from the architect to the king slayer. Him finishing it with the pedigree was a beautiful touch and the perfect ending. Now, Undertaker. Roman won and I don't know how to feel about it, well I do because I'm really pissed off about it but the bit I'm unsure about the ending. Is Taker just gonna go now? I only ask this because I think the man is so committed to kayfabe he wouldn't want a retirement ceremony he'd just disappear. So no more Taker? It's hard to picture Mania without the dead man. I don't like that Roman won without turning heel, it's done nothing for his character if anything the fans hate him more now for not turning heel and he didn't need the rub from retiring Taker if that's what he's done. If you want my opinion it should've been Balor to do it, and I'm not 100% sure if I'd want Balor to win that match. The Undertaker has done an unbelievable amount for the business and for every wrestling fan. Thank you, Taker. Oh, and as all his Mania matches Taker put on a master class in blending character work and great wrestling. That was Wrestlemania 33. Thanks for reading if you have, please tell me if this is shit or not I really don't know but I kinda enjoyed it so. If I missed a match tell me to I might have missed one. Thanks and stuff!
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Game 304: Kayden Garth (1989)
Otherwise known as “what two words does a suburban soccer mom write at the top of the list after ‘if it’s a boy’?”
Kayden Garth
Germany
Mentrox Goldline (developer); EAS Software (publisher)
Released in 1989 for Commodore 64 and Atari ST. Amiga version mentioned in manual, but probably unreleased
Date Started: 29 September 2018
Date Ended: 1 October 2018
Total Hours: 13
Difficulty: Guessing hard (4/5), but I gave up trying to play it honestly
Final Rating: (to come later)
Ranking at time of posting: (to come later)
I spent an absurd amount of time playing, mapping, and trying to win Kayden Garth, mostly out of the sincere concern that if I didn’t fully document it, some other poor bastard, years hence, would feel that he had to do it. Unfortunately, I didn’t succeed, and I can do is beg that future player not to throw away the precious hours of your waning existence the way I did.
The title–produced in Germany but for some reason in English–looks a bit like an Ultima clone but lacks the gameplay depth of even Akalabeth. The story is that Kayden Garth is a prison planet in the Beta Draconis sector, administered by an automated orbital station, but recently the Galactic Confederation has received an emergency signal from the station indicating that it’s being pulled out of orbit. (Depending on whether you go by the poorly-translated manual or the back of the box, there might also be reports of prison riots.) The Galactic Confederation sends a team of four people to investigate.
A typical outdoor shot, near the “hangar” where the endgame is (I think) supposed to take place. An enemy approaches from the south. A random unseen thief has just stolen some of my credits.
Gameplay theoretically begins by creating the party of four from eight races (human, Vulcan, Ghardan, Woroner, Abornar, Gryhn, Sihbon, and Faranter) and eight classes (soldier, pilot, technician, scientist, doctor, merchant, cybernetic engineer, and thief). These races and classes have some effect on the few attributes–strength, hit points, and psi power–but otherwise absolutely no effect on gameplay. There’s nothing for the technician to fix, the scientist to study, the pilot to fly, or the thief to steal. A “doctor” can’t even heal his own party members.
I had plans to follow the title’s theme and create a party of characters named Cole, Graham, Hunter, and Wyatt. Unfortunately, character creation simply doesn’t work. I ultimately downloaded two “cracks” of the C64 version. The first one wouldn’t take me to the character creation section at all. If I said yes, I want to start a new game, it still insisted on dumping me into the game with the default party. The second version would take me to the character creator but froze every time I reached the second character.
The character creator also has a chance of generating absurd decimal numbers. Damn, I was holding out for a strength of at least 11.0065794.
I was thus forced to play with the default party, generically named “Char. 1” through “Char. 4.” I note that every image I found online, including the images on the game box itself, shows this default party, so I’m not sure if the character creator ever worked. None of the default characters has any psi ability, which has consequences I’ll cover in a minute.
The game begins with the party on a fairly large outdoor map. From the moment you begin, there’s no reference to the backstory and nothing about the planet seems like a prison planet. Instead, it’s dotted with buildings that house shops, casinos, banks, hospitals, and dungeons. Banks are important because as you explore, the word “thieves” periodically pops up, and with it goes a decent chunk of your money. Casinos offer silly games with roughly 50/50 odds and the opportunity to only win 5 or 10 credits at a time.
Buying “equipment” at an “armery.”
The characters have no real equipment. At the shops, you can buy food (your pool of rations maxes at 250 and depletes rapidly), a single lamp, and lasers and shields of various levels, but those latter items just add to a generic pot of laser and shield “points” that deplete in combat. Similarly, visiting the hospital and choosing “heal” is really just buying hit points directly, not restoring points to some character-based maximum.
There’s a day/night cycle with things getting blurry at night and shops not open.
Enemies pop up in the environment as you explore. There’s never more than one enemy. They’re all just goofy–Rocky Horrors, Karetekas, mad nurses, and Rambocks (the latter of which look like Rambo) among them.
The developers’ opinion of Sylvester Stallone.
Given the backstory, wouldn’t it have been better to replace this silliness with something like “convict”?
You have only three combat options: flee, fight, or cast a spell. You can fight while viewing a portrait of your foe or in a side view where you actually see them shoot at each other. The choice doesn’t really matter. Combat is usually over (in your favor) in a few rounds, and you get some gold and experience. Experience, as far as I can tell, has no effect in the game, and the characters never actually get any stronger. This technically makes it not an RPG under my definitions.
Watching the combat from a side view.
Fighting while keeping the portrait on the screen instead.
Characters with psychic abilities can choose from eight “spells.” Five of them are for dungeon exploration: “Light,” “Teleport,” “Position,” “Fogforce,” and “Dungeon Sight.” There are two offensive spells–“Fireneedle” and “Shadowblade”–but they’re not really necessary, and they deplete spell points needed for dungeon exploration.
“Dungeon Sight” is a helpful spell, but it doesn’t show secret doors or ladders, and it costs more in psi power than a party is likely to achieve legitimately.
With the backstory unreferenced, the only goal of the game seems to be to escape the planet, which you accomplish by exploring the dungeons and finding three items to blow up a tractor beam. I assume then you take off from the building designated “hangar,” but I’m not sure.
There are six dungeons in the game, all five levels of 13 x 13, all annoying. Playing with the default party, you soon run into a problem. Every dungeon level requires a light source, and you can only carry one lamp at a time. You thus need the “Light” spell, but none of the default characters can cast it (or anything). I had to download a hex editor, which I’d been trying to avoid, to give my characters some spell abilities. About this time, frustrations with the dungeons led me to stop even trying to play the game honestly. I abused save states and hex edits to keep myself alive long enough to map the levels, and even that wasn’t quite enough.
A typical dungeon level, full of dark squares, spinners, and traps.
The dungeons take forever to explore and there’s just no point at all. None of them have anything of interest between the entry stairs and a single square on the fifth level–no treasures, no fixed encounters, no messages scrawled on the wall, just annoyances like random combats every 12-15 steps, squares of darkness, traps, spinners, teleporters, hidden doors, and squares of fog. The fog, at least, can be dispelled. At least once per level, there’s a square that destroys your compass for the rest of that dungeon. Also, from the moment you teleport for the first time, the “Position” spell becomes useless in determining your actual position.
Some of the traps are capable of poisoning the party, causing damage every round until cured at a hospital or until a “Heal” spell is cast. Unfortunately, “Heal” has like a 25% chance of backfiring and decimating the party’s health. This isn’t mentioned in the manual, and doesn’t really make sense, so I assume it’s a programming error.
Pushing through squares of “fog.”
Making the dungeons even worse is the fact that many of them require you to find your way to isolated areas, unconnected by door or corridor, to progress. You can theoretically use “Teleport” for this, but the spell moves you to a random location, so you have to try it multiple times before you find your way to the right area. There’s at least one dungeon level in which the “right area” is a single square. I had to cast the spell about 100 times before luck brought me to it. Naturally, I wasn’t playing honestly by this point, and I just reloaded a save state every time the spell brought me to the wrong area. There aren’t enough valid spell points among all the party members to support this level of trial and error, so I assume this is a bug in the game and those isolated areas were supposed to be connected.
The most ridiculous dungeon level. The ladders up and down are in single isolated squares, and you have to randomly “Teleport” repeatedly to land in them.
There are also key areas in which the dungeon poses some kind of riddle. An inspection of the game file shows that there are several such riddles, but because of some kind of bug, you only ever get one of them, over and over: “It shows a different face to each and every one but has none itself.” I’ll let you work on that. In any event, the riddle is sometimes posed just before a dead end or other nondescript square, rather than always before a key encounter.
Hiking back and forth, mapping all the dungeons for who knows what reason, I ultimately found explosives at the bottom of one, a power pack at the bottom of another, and a detonator at the bottom of a third. These items together allowed me to blow up the tractor beam in the fourth dungeon.
As close to a “win” as I got.
The same dungeon that had the detonator also had a three-digit code (543) written in the dungeon walls. I figured with the tractor beam destroyed, I’d be able to take off from the hangar. But going to the hangar produces no result. I suspect I perhaps need something from the bottom of one of the other two dungeons, but one of them has no way down from the fourth level, just an erroneous second staircase up. Since that up staircase leads to a dead-end area that’s supposed to be in the middle of a wall, I can only assume it was supposed to go down. Meanwhile, the second superfluous dungeon has nothing on Level 5 that I can find, but the “Dungeon Sight” spell shows a single unconnected square in the center, and no amount of “Teleport” casting–I tried at least 300 times–would get me into it.
The point of every dungeon is a single square on the fifth level.
I’m going to call this one an “N/A” in the win column, since it seems to be bugs that prevent me from winning. On a GIMLET, I rate the game at a 9, which includes a -3 point “bonus” for all of the bugs. This is one of the lowest ratings I’ve ever given. The best score (3) is in “graphics, sound, and interface,” mostly for the relatively easy keyboard interface. People who enjoy game music will want me to mention a passable futuristic techno theme, credited to Dirk Schuetzner, that runs over the title screen.
The only way I could see to win it is for someone better than me to figure out how to hex edit the party’s position in the dungeons or to try again with the Atari ST version. If anyone wants to try either option, you’re welcome to my map book from the game. I didn’t find the Atari ST version until after I’d wasted 13 hours on the C64 version, but I gave it a brief try. The character creator works and even has extra attributes (dexterity and constitution), but once the game started I couldn’t figure out how to move (I admittedly didn’t try that hard). I also can’t figure out how to hex edit Atari ST save states, and trying to play the ST version honestly, with no guarantee I won’t encounter the same problems in the dungeons, is not something I’m willing to do.
Some people wanted their names attached to this.
EAS was an extremely short-lived publisher, issuing only a small number of arcade-style games in the late 1980s. I find Mentrox Goldline credited one other EAS game, a boxing title called Ringside (1989). The lead developer, Klaus Melchert, appears on no other titles that I can find.
The box art is cooler than anything in the game.
One of the graphic artists, Andreas Bahr, appeared on an Amiga message board a few years ago and provided a little context for Kayden Garth, saying that Melchert only had 90 days to produce it (one wonders why), and that none of the developers ever saw any money because EAS went bankrupt shortly after releasing it. They deserved it.
******
It may be a while before another update on Crusaders of the Dark Savant. I’m still playing it on and off, but mostly mapping wilderness and grinding while I experiment with class changes. I’ll blog again once I’m back on track with the plot. In the meantime, I suppose we’ll check out Shadowlands (1992).
source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-304-kayden-garth-1989/
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What we learned from No Mercy 2017: Vince McMahon’s big guy fetish faltered at the wrong time
Years of memes wasted on a goofy decision.
No Mercy was great! Mostly. The parts that were supposed to be great were not necessarily great, but the parts people weren’t enthused about were all on point, so it evened out. Well, not completely evened. Enzo Amore can fall down a well and bring the Cruiserweight Championship with him, but we’ll get to that in due time.
Miz retains the Intercontinental Championship against Jason Jordan
Miz had a little help retaining the Intercontinental strap against the up-and-coming Jason Jordan, but it should be pointed out that, in true Miz fashion, he isn’t actually responsible for the shenanigans that caused Jordan to lose in the end. Jordan attacked Bo Dallas outside of the ring, and later, Dallas tried to interfere in the match itself at a crucial moment. Jordan took care of Dallas instead of ignoring him, opening the door for Miz to attack Jordan from behind.
What we learned: Yes, Miz got an assist, but in a way where he can blame Jordan for creating an opportunity for Miz to capitalize on. He’ll be stretching the truth instead of lying, and while it might not seem all that different, that’s an important distinction when it comes to heeling. Miz will truly believe he’s in the right, and he has just enough video evidence to back up his case.
Meanwhile, someone teach Jason Jordan how to read a crowd, because they loved Miz and were not at all there for Jordan’s post-match promo saying Miz sucks. Maybe just skip that one next time the crowd is going wild for a Miz win, guys. Kudos to Corey Graves for trying to say the crowd’s “Who’s your daddy?” chants were about Miz’s unborn child, though, and not Jason Jordan’s soap opera story line with long-lost father, Kurt Angle.
Finn Balor, man, defeated Bray Wyatt, god
So I called out something in the preview, about how Bray was just expecting us to forget that he constantly says a god resides within him and boosts his powers so that he and Finn Balor could have a “man vs. man” match. Wouldn’t you know it, Bray attacked Balor from behind and was like “ha ha ha, you seem to have forgotten that I constantly say a god resides within me and boosts my powers and it allowed me to book this totally unfair match with you and this time you aren’t even wearing your body paint.” Finn won despite the sneak attack and unfair nature of the match, by the way, and without even stopping in the back for a few brush strokes first.
What we learned: As with every Bray Wyatt plan ever, in the end, he lost because whatever god is inhabiting him is one of those JRPG gods who just thinks they’re omnipotent but actually forgot a whole bunch of key details that could (and eventually do) lead to their demise. “Incompetent” and “omnipotent” have most of the same letters, you know.
Or, as Brandon Stroud so eloquently put it months ago in one of wrestling’s most evergreen tweets:
Every single Bray Wyatt angle http://pic.twitter.com/hTdJ5I2VZl
— Brandon Stroud (@MrBrandonStroud) May 30, 2017
Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins retain the RAW Tag Team Championships against Sheamus and Cesaro
It’s a shame the feud between these two is likely at its end, because good lord do they work well together. And all the credit in the world goes to Cesaro, who had his teeth either knocked out of him or further into him, for continuing to wrestle a completely baller match after said teeth went askew.
Who is next up for Ambrose and Rollins? I don’t know, but at some point, we need The Revival healthy so they can come for these titles.
What we learned: Ambrose and Rollins are able to hide any flaws the two might have in their game by tagging together, and it’s art. Sheamus and Cesaro need to stay buddies even if they end up stopping chasing the tag titles and go after singles championships, because their friendship is too beautiful to break up. FRIENDSHIP-BASED TAG TEAM WRESTLING FOREVER, THE FANS ARE THE REAL WINNERS WHEN FRIENDSHIP IS INVOLVED.
Alexa Bliss pinned Bayley and defeated Emma, Sasha Banks, and Nia Jax to retain the RAW Women’s Championship
You might be upset that Alexa Bliss didn’t lose her title to Sasha or Bayley or Nia or even Emma, but it’s okay. The match was great, with tons of interaction among the five women, and logical storytelling with alliances forming and breaking and everyone realizing Nia Jax needed to be unconscious if anyone besides her was going to be productive for more than 10 seconds at a time. Plus, Alexa is going to end up facing Asuka for the RAW Women’s Championship, and her getting wrecked by the Empress of Tomorrow makes a lot more sense than having Nia suffer that fate.
What we learned: Well, I kind of already told you that above, but that’s fine because now I’ll share with you what I would have done with this match and subsequent followup.
Emma has experience with Asuka from their shared NXT days, and all of it is terrifying and likely still gives Emma nightmares. Emma winning would have been wonderful as then Asuka would have showed up to lay claim to the belt, which should have led to a month of Emma hiding backstage wherever she could, and Asuka just stalking Emma around the arena for entire shows like she’s Nemesis from the Resident Evil video games.
tl;dr
I mean if you don't want Asuka to burst through a wall to chase and attack Emma I'm not sure what we're doing here
— Marc Normandin (@Marc_Normandin) September 25, 2017
Roman Reigns defeated John Cena and is officially the biggest dog in the yard
This match was real good, and while it seems like the ending came out of nowhere, with Cena getting speared once in the ring and going down, it really did not. Reigns beat Cena’s ass for most of the match, and all Cena really got in on him was a few of his signature powered up spots: the second rope Attitude Adjustment and double AA didn’t take Reigns down, because Cena didn’t lay any groundwork. He was goofing and laughing and smiling throughout the match, but that was all Cena putting on a brave face and assuming he would win this thing in the end even as he struggled to put the same kind of hurting on Roman that Reigns was putting on Cena.
When Reigns did kick out of everything Cena had to offer, John looked exasperated, the smiles vanished, and he stared at Reigns while making some pretty clear “I don’t understand how you’re doing this right now” faces. Reigns had hit Cena with everything except his major moves — aside from the first spear that put Cena through an announce table — but then rattled off a Superman Punch and a spear to get that 1-2-3 and Cena’s respect.
What we learned: Was it the greatest match either has ever been in? Not even close. But it was far more fitting of a showdown than what we got when Cena had the torch passed to him by the Rock at either once in a lifetime match. Plus, it’s fun to see Cena get Cena’d, even if he didn’t really get Cena’d. And on a night where the announce team was letting us know his next pay-per-view would tie him for the most all-time, too.
Enzo Amore won the Cruiserweight Championship from Neville and it was dumb
I try not to harp on booking decisions too much, as playing wait-and-see often solves many issues you can dream up at the moment a supposed mistake was made. However, Enzo Amore winning the Cruiserweight Championship was a bad idea that happened in a bad match and just makes the entire cruiserweight division look bad.
Enzo is not a good wrestler. He’s good at being thrown around and ragdolled, and it helps that people want to see him get thrown around, but he never should have beaten Neville, even with a distraction. There were other wrestlers they could have done this with, or they could have not done it at all and simply had Cedric Alexander feud with Neville, which is some take my money stuff. Instead, we get the thing we knew was going to happen happen, and no one is happy.
Maybe his reign will be brief and we can move on, but considering all of the talent WWE fails to utilize within their cruiserweight division, handing the championship to the worst wrestler of the bunch is just weird. It should say a lot that I would have been fine with Lana defeating Naomi via shenanigans to heel it up as SmackDown Women’s Champ but have zero interest or justification at the ready for Enzo.
Brock Lesnar retains the WWE Universal Championship against Braun Strowman
What the hell, guys? Vince McMahon has long been OBSESSED with size, pushing huge dudes even if they didn’t have any other discernible talent outside of said hugeness. Braun Strowman is massive: he’s 6-foot-8, 385 pounds, and more agile than either of those numbers would lead you to believe. He’s charismatic, the crowd loves him, and Paul Heyman, Brock Lesnar’s manager, has been putting him over as bigger and stronger than his client, and maybe even the second-coming of Lesnar that we never thought we’d see, for weeks.
The result in their showdown, which came after a SummerSlam in which Strowman singlehandedly took Lesnar out of the proceedings for most of the match and then made him look like a nerd on television for weeks before this match? Lesnar winning after exactly one finisher, and actually out of nowhere, not in the way people will say Reigns beat Cena out of nowhere.
Vince had a chance to propel a huge human being to the next level, one who could be the focal point of the company for years to come, who already has a major following and fans dying to cheer for him despite his being a heel for so much of his run on the main roster. And, inexplicably, McMahon decided to go with Lesnar, who shows up on television every now and again, is nearly 40 years old, and is as known for vanishing on WWE for months at a time as he is for being the company’s final boss.
Imagine if Vince had halted Stone Cold’s push back in the day by having him tap out to Bret Hart instead of passing out at WrestleMania? That’s not to say Strowman is going to grow up to be Austin, but man, if anyone in the company now has a shot at being the guy, it’s him, and the reliably-obsessed-with-size-over-all Vince McMahon somehow wasn’t so reliable on that note this time.
[overly dramatic lengthy sigh]
What we learned: Brock vs. Roman II is definitely happening at WrestleMania 34, and no one is going to beat either of them until then, will they?
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