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#but i have like short bursts of ideas that don't fit my writing style
plush-rabbit · 2 years
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Summary: super vague thing about making a decision and solomon trying to help
Word Count: 2.4K
A/N: Going through a lot of anxiety lately and i wanted just a bit of comfort
It’s swelling up inside you- mixing all the contents of your insides, and threatening to spill over as blood rushes through your body. You’re unable to sit properly, shifting every second, your skin feeling too tight, jaw clenched and molars rubbing against each other, heart racing, threatening to beat out of your chest and leave you in a mess of-
“I brought the snacks!” The door swings open, and you turn quickly, watching as Solomon enters with his head down, talking about the different kinds of snacks that he brought from the human world. “I brought all your favorites, and I’ll make sure to leave a spell-” he kicks the door behind him to close, head still down peering into the bag- “that way Beelzebub won’t get into them, okay?” He lifts his head and his smile, the corners of his lips pinched upwards, slowly fall into a frown. “Are you okay?”
You intake a short breath of air, and you think about lying to him. He wouldn’t believe it, but he’s good at knowing when you want to talk about it and when you don’t. But then, you think about lying to him, after he went and got you snacks, snacks that you had wanted and that doesn’t seem fair.
“I’m uh, not,” you say it in a much softer voice than you would have expected, the last word hanging in the air in front of you. “Not okay,” you quickly add, forcing the words to push further into the air.
He reacts quickly, his expression changing as he takes long strides towards you, and he mutters something under his breath, the bag disappearing from his hands and reappearing to be placed on your desk, the contents spilling out above your laptop, and you catch a glimpse of a mascot on the candy, and you’d think that you’d taste the candy on your tongue, but you’re unable to taste anything but the bile and spit that rests heavy on your tongue. There’s a pause as he's unsure whether to sit on your bed, or if he should crouch before you. You can see the hesitation, the small jerky movements of his muscles tensing and how his eyes flutter to you and to the side of the room where a chair is unoccupied. You shift, moving away from the edge of the bed where you've laid yourself , making room for him. He sits beside you, his hands going to where you’ve curled your own into the fabric of the pillow case.
“What happened?” His voice is soft, caring, and he cares so much for you and it’s too much.
There’s no easy way to say it, and maybe there is just no way to say it- all the internal back and forth that you have been doing, choices gnawing at your mind and making you second guess yourself. “I don’t like making decisions,” you mutter. It’s so dumb when said out loud, and you realize that, you realize how dumb you must sound. Tears start to well up in your eyes, and you look down, biting the corners of your lips in a shamed and nervous smile. 
“Why not?” A hand leaves yours and you follow it with your eyes, losing it once it goes around you, but his hand is on your back, closed and running up and down. You shrug and fiddle with the loose thread on the edge of the pillowcase. “What makes this decision so difficult for you?”
“I don’t like disappointing people,” you say in a shaky voice. “I wish I were better at not caring.” You wish you could say that you want others to make the hard decisions for you, but even then, that would be far too much, that would make you an ill-mannered person, incapable of doing the most basic things and that type of shame makes you want to cry.
The other hand leaves yours, and the pads of his fingers touch against your jaw, turning your head towards him. “If you ask me, I love how much you care about others.” There’s a melancholic smile that graces his features, that makes him look older and wistful. “You try to do your best to please others, and I think that shows how loving you are. You want to help others, and you always have this smile on your face when you do it, you never give up on others. But-” you look up at him, brows knitted together- “you also sacrifice too much of yourself to please others. It’s like you stretch yourself thin to help others, to make sure that they’re happy before you. You feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and you don’t want any help.”
“I don’t want to annoy people,” you croak. “I talk too much and then we just end up going in circles and it should be an easy decision but it isn’t.” You have to look away from him unless he sees the tears that start to kiss on your cheeks.
“You won’t annoy anyone. Certainly not me.” Once more, Solomon guides you back to look at him and a thumb traces under your eye, swiping at the budding tear. Another tear soon replaces the lost one. “If there’s anyone that you could ever talk to, it would be me.”
There’s a constricting sensation around your throat, and you look down, one of your hands reaching upwards, to keep his hand held against your face.  
“Do you want help from me?” He asks, and you bite your tongue. He sighs, and you can see his chest take in the breath and slowly puff it out. “Do you want a hug?” 
You can feel in the air how tense it’s gotten, how he’s stepping on eggshells to be around you and to make sure that you’re okay with him being so close- that you’re okay with letting him in. It feels wrong to ruin a moment, but you do so anyways, fearing that letting him see too much would only push him away. “I feel like that’s asking too much. You look up at him, a wobbly smile ticking at the corner of your lips. “Isn’t that against sorcerer and apprentice code?” You’re more than happy to let him see you happy, to see your back and to relish in that type of person, than this scared one.
He grins, and though he doesn’t age, at least not as rapidly as you do, you can see the crow’s feet that deepen with his smile. “It’ll be our secret then, hm?” The bed dips closer to your thighs as he moves closer to you. “Plus, I’d be a horrible person if I let someone as pretty as you cry.” You push yourself forward, and for a brief moment, in his arms and with your face against his chest, hearing and feeling his heart beat and echo against you, you feel at bliss, any worry gone and evaporated into the air and a part of you wonders if he had anything to do with that. “There we go,” he mutters, his arms wrapping around and leaving your face warm with his mark. “Much better, hm?” You feel his lips press against the crown of your head. Tears burn, and you feel like you’re being choked by a phantom of guilt and shame, as he holds you with a tenderness you can’t recall being given to you.
“Much better,” you agree, shifting in his arms, wrapping your own around his torso. You keep yourself pressed close to him and it feels right. There’s no lie in that sentence. You do feel better, you feel more of yourself than you have in a long time, and you know that it’s him causing this- for better or for worse. But you like feeling calm, you like being happy with him. In the time of your apprenticeship, you both have grown closer, you’ve seen just how patient he can be. He’s the best of both of you, and you’ll always stare up at him, wanting his touch, but never feeling as though that would ever be enough, that you’d always want more.
“Whatever it is that's going on-” worry settles in once more, and as if he could tell, he presses another kiss to your once more- “we’ll figure it out. You’re still here, and as long as you and I are together, we’ll figure it out.”
“Promise?” You ask, peeling away from him, tears making your vision blurry and when you blink them away, they leave trails of crystals on your cheeks. 
Solomon nods his head. “Promise.” A kiss is pressed to the tip of your nose, and your eyes scrunch at the feeling, your smile coming back. “I’d never break a promise to you, not ever.” He pulls away and moves himself onto the bed, lifting a hand and you watch as the blanket folded on the edge of your bed lifts and curves around you, trying to nudge you close to him. You laugh lightly, getting the message and crawling over to him. “There you are,” he says in a whisper, pulling you close to his chest, his limbs entangling into yours as he hides himself into your neck, his breath warm and lips soft as they kiss against your pulse. “Whatever it is, I’ll take good care of you.”
“Solomon,” you say softly, and his name feels so heavy on your tongue. He hums in response, and his hand grabs yours to hold to his chest. You’re silent for a moment too long and he twitches- his legs straightening and you’ve ruined the comfortable pose he was already in. “Thank you,” you add quickly. “I don’t think I could have ever been this version of me without you.” You’re scared, but you know that he’s here. You know that he’s helping you, letting you take comfort in him and letting you rely on others. He’s allowing you to be soft and clingy like a child, letting you take no shame in it, and only encouraging it. You walk on shaky legs like a fawn, voicing your worries, and you hold onto him in a tight grip. “Without sounding so sappy,” you add, “you really, really-” you emphasize the word- “mean a lot to me.”
“Hate to tell you this, my love-” you look up at him and he’s given you a particularly mischievous grim- “but that sounded really sappy.” You open your mouth, a snide remark already on your tongue, when he continues. “But if it helps, you really mean a lot to me as well. Much more than I could have ever thought.” You press yourself closer to his chest, hands twisting into the fabric of his shirt. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe? I don’t want to bore you-” he clears his throat and you cringe upon yourself. “I already made the decision a bit ago, and it’s been finalized, but I can’t help but worry if it was the right thing to do or to say, and it sucks and-” tears return and there’s a harsh crack in your voice. “What if I regret it?”
Solomon stays quiet for a moment. “I’ve lived for a long time, and there are a lot of things that I regret, both from actions that I’ve done and actions that I chose not to do. But-” you can tell that he’s choosing his words carefully, letting them form on his tongue and roll out- “at the end, they didn’t seem to matter. I’m here with you and whatever decision led me here, was a good one.”
“Despite all the sadness?” You ask in a meek voice.
“I've learned that there are always going to be some type of negative feelings and while I wish that there wouldn’t be any sadness around, that feeling will always linger. You just have to let that feeling roll off of you, if the decision has been made and finalized, that’s it. It’s out of your hands now. There’s no need to worry about it. You can’t let it consume you. I know that you think you’ll regret it, but maybe it was for the best. It’ll work out. Whatever it was for, I doubt this will be the last opportunity that you’ll have. There will always be more things that will come your way.”
The words help, if only for a moment, and you cling closer to him, worry washing off of you for a brief moment and letting your body feel heavy. “And you’ll be there?” You ask in a soft voice, vulnerability etched into your words, that it’d be impossible to untangle the feeling and words. “To hear me out and stuff?”
“I’ll be here till you grow tired of me,” he says earnestly. “For stuff and all.” He presses his lips to the top of your head once more.
It’s silent for a moment, and your hands have loosened from a fist to just curving around his sides. The conversation is done, and you know that if you wanted to open it again, you could, but you want to spend time with him that isn’t so worrisome. “You brought candy?”
“I did!” He sounds so proud of himself, so chipper, that you smile. “From that store in your hometown? The one that you were telling me a while ago?”
Your eyes widen and you lift yourself up, and your face breaks into a smile. It’s wide and stretched, and his smile is so much softer, his eyes looking upwards at you, and hands pulling back towards him to lay flat on his stomach. “Really?” You ask in an incredulous voice. He gives you a sharp nod. “Solomon,” you gasp out, “you’re the best.” You lay back down, peppering his face with short and fleeting kisses and he’s giggling the whole way through, his arms wrapping around you and holding you to him.
“I’m glad that I could be of service,” he says through a fit of laughter. You sit down beside him, your hands tapping on your thighs. “If I had known that that would’ve been the reaction, I would’ve said something much sooner.” You roll your eyes and he starts to pull himself upwards into a sitting position like yours. His hands grab yours, long and thin fingers wrapping around yours. “Whatever you need from me, you only have to ask.” His hand lifts yours to press a kiss to the back of your hand.
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wysteria-clad · 2 years
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“I haven’t laughed like this in a long time” with the Moon Knight boys might actually end me, I am BEGGING you please!!
The hair problem
paring: moon boys x fem! reader; established relationship
a/n:
my writing style is slightly different in this one.
Marc is a silly idiot in this one, don't take him seriously, he likes to tease you playfully.
Thanks to @imgoingtofreakoutnow for Spanish words and phrases 💗
warnings: cutting your own bangs lol
genre: fluff
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You shouldn't have done that. You should not have done that. But it was too late now.
Fifteen minutes ago, you have been scrolling pinterest and pictures of girls with cute bangs caught your eyes. Your eyes lit up at the mental picture of you having a full front bangs.
Part of your mind warned you not to do it by yourself. But you ignored it. You opened youtube for watching tutorials. Hey, how hard could that be?
Two tutorials later, here you are. A chunk of your luscious locks on the bathroom sink.
"Shit. Shit" you drop the kitchen scissors. Yes kitchen scissors. Look, you were in a hurry and I'm not gonna judge. We've all been there.
You don't know if you should laugh or cry.
You stare at your reflection on the bathroom mirror.
It was too short than you expected and too blunt. Your thick uneven bangs rests at your eye level, few strands longer than the rest, reaching down the corner of your right eye.
You laugh to yourself, mix of panic and humor sense at your mistake.
"Okay, I can fix this" a lie you tell yourself. A sigh escape your lips. You just need to trim a little bit at the same level. That's it.
A bad idea, really. But you are desperate to fix your bangs. You bring the trimmer near your forehead, accidentally trimming your right eyebrow in the process. Yikes. You didn't realise it until after the deed was done.
"Where is it?" you mumble to yourself with half belief, searching for the electric trimmer Marc keeps, opening and closing the doors of couple shelves.
"Fuck!"
Could this get any worse? You mutter few more profanites. Half of your right eyebrow is gone.
You should have resisted the urge and gone to sleep instead. Any urges and thoughts after 9pm was a bad idea. Now you knew that.
"Y/n, baby, where are y-" Marc stops himself, finding you in the bathroom, his eyes fixed on your bangs. "Oh my God" he pauses, "what happened?" he chuckles as if trying not to laugh fully.
"Can someone smack him for me?" you cross your arms.
"Hey!"
"Oh, love, I'm sorry" Steven strides towards you, cupping your face in his hands. "It's alright, Y/n/n. It's not that bad. We can fix it, yeah?"
"So it looks some level of bad?" you pull away from his loving embrace momentarily to glance at the mirror again.
"That's not-"
"I'm sorry. C'mere" Marc cuts off Steven, opening his arms in hugging gesture.
Okay fine, maybe you could hug him, you think.
His eyes moves from your eyes to your bangs.
"Don't you dare-"
"You look like Dora" he bursts into fit of laughter. His unrestrained laughter fills your ear. "I haven't laughed like this in a long time"
You couldn't help but think how lovely it sounds. When was the last time you heard him laugh like this? You laughed too at the beginning. Maybe, it's not that bad. He wouldn't actually do anything to hurt you intentionally. Besides, it's just hair, it always grows back, you mentally shrug, somewhat consoling yourself. But that doesn't mean, you forgive him that quickly.
"No, you laughed at me" you swat his extended arm playfully with a pout.
"What happened to your eyebrow?!" his expression changes when he finally notice the part of missing eyebrow when he moves the bangs.
"You really want me to ask that?" you sigh exasperatedly.
"I can shave my eyebrow too, if it would make you feel better" Steven fronts, determined to make you feel better. Oh, darling.
"No we are not shaving our eyebrow" Marc protests.
You couldn't help but laugh. Steven ever the sweetheart. But why not play a little with Marc. You can tease back too.
"Actually, I'd like that. We can match!"
"Hell no" Marc Spector would jump off a cliff for you, bring the moon closer to you if you wished. Probably be would shave his head too if you asked. But shaving half of his right eyebrow? Nah, mate. Not happening.
You can see him looking in the mirror and arguing with Steven. "No"
Marc resists hard not to grab the trimmer as Steven wanted to do it. Alright, that's when you decide to interfere and tell them you were just kidding and you were playing with Marc for his teasing earlier.
"You are evil"
"Oh, shush you big baby"
You watch Marc punch himself in the face. "Ow!"
"Doesn't feel great, right?" Steven sasses. "That wasn't me though" he smirks.
"That's for teasing my princesa" you hear Jake's accent and a smile blooms on your face.
"Our girl, Jake. She is our girl" Marc was quick to correct him.
"Not when you make her sad, hombre"
You giggle at their banter.
"Hey" you gently cup Jake's face, making him look at your eyes. "I belong to all of you" you smile. "And I know Marc was just messing around, don't worry about it, okay?" you assure Jake.
He presses a kiss to your head. "Let me fix it" he makes you sit next to the sink. "Eres hermosa, no importa qué, querida", he lifts your chin up with this fingers ever so gently, making you look in his loving eyes. With a kiss to your nose, he makes you giggle and grabs the scissors to cut off the uneven pieces and make the bangs look even. And he did.
Marc apologised again later that night. He wouldn't stop until he heard you laugh.
Now your bangs rests right above your eyebrows and after you styled it with a straightener, it actually looks pretty cute, not gonna lie. Thanks to your man Jake.
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thebangtancloud · 2 years
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hi ray! i'm curious to know how ur writing process goes so i have a bunch of questions for u to answer if you're up for it 😊
1. where do u usually draw inspo for ur fics?
2. how long does writing a reaction take u compared to full-blown works (like series, one-shots, etc.)
3. how do u cope with writer's block?
4. when coming up with specific scenarios for each member, do u consider their IRL traits & characteristics when writing or do u just come up with a plot that could apply to all the boys?
and finally...
5. how tf are u so talented at sharing stories (so much so that ur updates are the ONLY thing i look forward to these days)? 💗
i apologize in advance if these questions are intrusive; ily tysm and have a nice day!
Hii lovely anon!! I definitely am up for it ahhh this is something I've never done before.
Here we go:
1. Inspiration for fics:
I usually get inspired by random moments during the day. Most of the time, I get an idea for a plot either by the k-dramas that I watch, which I try and modify according to my taste (almost always includes adding some more angsty scenarios to it). Other times, I get random ideas when I'm studying - I'm not even sure how - the idea just pops into my head. I also tend to write out a scene that plays out in my head right after I get inspired to write it so that I don't lose the touch and the burst of energy that I got for that piece.
I also do get a lot of ideas from my friends and close ones. Be it them directly telling me to write about something or just a part of their life that appears to be worth writing about. Quite a few works on my blog have been inspired by the lovely @persefoneniverse , so of course, I also try to work with an idea that has been given to me, trying to fit it into my style of writing.
Works that have been written outside of the influence of others would entirely be inspired by real-life experiences that I've lived through. During Happier (the longest fic I've ever written) - I included descriptions of poor health which were struggles that I've faced when I was at my lowest. There are several instances where I've recreated a scene from my life - just as it is - like Taehyung's and Seokjin's reaction to the reader fainting, it's funny but I've fainted exactly the same way. So yes, I also tend to rely on situations I've been in, it gives me an idea as to how a person truly feels - the emotions that they experience and express, the pain and it's intensity, etc. - instead of just trying to make a wild guess as to what would be an appropriate reactions of person x to y and z.
2. How long I take to write:
Tbh, it entirely depends on my mood. Sometimes I sit to write during a short break that I've taken from my studies (which is about 30 minutes) so I finish almost 3-4/7 member's reactions. When I'm completely in the mood to write and do nothing else, I take much longer, almost 1.5 hours to write one reaction set.
Sometimes the ideas for the reactions just come straight to me, sometimes I struggle to come up with them. So including the time that I utilize to come up with an idea (i try to keep every scenario different and unique so that my works don't appear repetitive), writing it out, finding appropriate GIFs (which surprisingly takes much longer than I thought), I'd say that it takes me at least 2 hours to write a reaction set.
Longer fics, on the other hand, take me quite some time. I took 4 weeks to write Happier (my longest fic so far - 25k words). I'm not that great at being consistent tbh, so most of the times, I write for a while and then I stop. So that's one of the reasons why they take so long. Building characters, the settings, the plot, etc. takes up quite some time too, but once I've completed those, I'd say half my job is done.
3. Coping with writer's block:
There are quite a few things I do when I go through a writer's block. Firstly, I stop writing. This really proved to be useful to me because the more I used to struggle, the more I used to run away from writing. So to avoid that, whenever I feel stuck, I just stop writing. It takes me about a week to refresh my mind and get back to it.
I try to read and explore different genres and authors. I'm a big Nicholas Sparks fan, I've got a hard copy of every single book that he's ever written and his works are officially my 'cure to writer's block'. His language is simple and style of writing is spectacular. The way he plays with a character blows my mind - so naturally, this inspires me to try and do the same.
I also watch a lot of horror movies when I go through a writer's block. I don't know how, but it helps. Not majorly for the plot, but tiny elements in scenes usually stand out even more when I struggle to write - it's almost like a detector for ideas lol - and I get thoroughly inspired by the little things in movies. Be it the villain's emotions (fear/rage/revenge/pain) or even an outfit that someone wore or the food they ate, everything usually stands out even more and helps me quite a bit.
Lastly, reading my own works helps me get out of a writer's block too. It reminds me what I'm capable of and highlights areas I could improve, so yeah, that's pretty much it hahaha.
4. Choosing traits that match the member's personality?
I'm so glad you've asked me this ahhh. Yes, I always try to give a character a trait that matches the true identity of the individual, since I'm writing about the members. This has been sometimes that I've been following from the very beginning. I used to read a lot of fanfiction before I began writing, and it used to frustrate me when a few writers would give some of the members a characteristic which is totally unlike them. That had been one of the reasons why I started this blog. I wanted to write stuff that was realistic, something that someone could read and go, "damn, I can totally see them reacting/behaving that way". That's my reward, honestly. It's something that I've been doing from the start and when people notice that in my writing, it makes me feel like I've accomplished something that I was working towards.
I'll give you an example of describing the member's true identity through a piece of writing. I read somewhere that 'Jin is the youngest in his family but the eldest of the group, and Taehyung is the eldest in his family and one of the youngest in the group, so sometimes Taehyung tends to take care of Jin the way an elder would.' I read this a long time ago and it really stuck with me. It gives you an idea of how complex a person's behavior could be, and over time, it helps in building up the character of the person you're writing about.
5. Talented? Pfft- nah
This...whatever I do here, is something that I never planned on doing. In school, I'd always be at the top of my class in English and I'll never forget the day my English teacher told my mum to 'stop making me watch sad movies because it's showing in my essays.' LMAO this is where I get the angst streak from. My essays in school used to be so bloody depressing and blue that anyone who'd read it would become sad, and I guess this has been something I unknowingly used to do from a very very long time. I should try to look up some of the answer sheets from them and show you guys what I would write ahhh this is inspiring me right now lol.
The funniest thing, or rather the irony of the situation is that my spoken English SUCKS. I have no idea why. I've been trying to improve on my speaking skills for years now, but everything that sounds so good in my head just turns into gibberish when I speak it ARGH. This is why I've had so many people tell me that my English is horrible. It used to hurt me a lot, I'd feel really insulted, and naturally, I used writing to try and improve at least some part of my English. One of the biggest accomplishments is getting my mum to finally say "you're English is actually pretty good." like yes mom, I've been writing for years now lol. So yeah, I really wouldn't call this my talent. It's something that I've tried to mold and sharpen and shape instead of just being handed a ready-made piece, you know? I've fallen and rubbed my nose against the floor countless of times in embarrassment, but this has also taught me what it feels like to hold my head high.
Something that Namjoon spoke during a conference when he was asked how he stays humble. I'd never be able to stop if I begin writing about his sexy brain but yeah he said something about considering himself to be just 5% of the entire picture. That hit me like a truck. It really brought my pride to the floor and humbled me in an instant. Because that's what I want to do, too. What started out as a hobby has now become an activity that so many people are a part of, which I couldn't be more grateful for. It gives me a chance to offer a part of me that sometimes helps people, comforts them, lightens up their mood, gives them the inspiration, etc. which has always been my motive behind writing.
The fact that you've been looking forward to my stories makes me so happy, dear anon. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to you, and to each and every reader that is a part of this beautiful journey of my life. None of these questions were intrusive, don't worry hahaha. I've always wanted to be open about everything I struggle with or even the little accomplishments that come my way every now and then, and I'm really really happy that I got to do this :))
*sigh* phew, that was a lot. I hope you haven't grown bored ;)
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An Opportunity
It is her eyes; it has always been about her eyes. Anything else can easily be ignored. Her hair is stunning, her sense of style is also stunning. What is not the best part about her is her determination of ruining everyone's lives. Why do you think she is this way?
This is just bad writing. I press down the delete button one word at a time. You know when I wrote my Chuck story, I spent time with him as hard as that was. I just need to spend a little time with Blair Waldorf. A day or two with her should not be that draining right?
Jenny bursts into my room, her long blonde hair in a messy bun, looking down at my computer. I try to hide anything she can see. It is gossip girl blasts of Blair Waldorf a long with plenty of pictures of her. She will get the wrong idea.
"What are you doing dear brother? Looking at porn?" I squint at her. Porn? Do I look like someone who watches porn?
"No, book research. I should be asking you what you are doing. You just burst into my room, no knocking. What gives 'dear' sister?"
"Oh please no one knocks in this house you know that. It is a fashion emergency. I understand that you know nothing about fashion with those baggy jeans and same colored sweater you wear over a white t-shirt. I feel like you are the perfect judge."
"Uh Jen, it's the weekend so of course I am wearing this. But perfect judge? Okay what am I supposed to be judging and where are you going?" I look her up and down. Jenny has things behind her back that I cannot see. She is just wearing a large white sweatshirt and black leggings. I do not think that is very fashionable.
"Blair Waldorf invited me of all people to attend a party she is throwing. I find that weird since I do not think we have ever had a conversation before. She is the queen bee of our school as you know, and it is an honor. So, I have these two dresses that I made. One is long and black, with spaghetti straps and sequence. The other one is on the shorter side, red with straps off to the side. Which one do you think best suits me?"
This might be the best opportunity for me I do not even think I heard anything Jenny even said after she said that name, Blair Waldorf. Blair Waldorf and I are always at odds. Even when I was dating her best friend Serena Van Der Woodsen. Now she just ignores me because Serena and I are long over. I look at the two dresses Jenny is holding. As she said I know nothing about fashion, but I do know her favorite color is red.
"The red one. Hey Jen, that party? Do you need a plus one?"
. . . .
Oh my god why did I say I would attend this party with her. Blair's home is exceptionally clean, nothing seems to be out of place. I have been here multiple times but to see it like this all decorated, it is nice. I wish I were back at home in my jeans and frumpy shirt. Jenny made me put on a suit which surprisingly fits me well considering we stole it out of dad's closet. I do not think he will miss it while he is on tour.
"Dan wow how have you been? What are you doing here? Not that it is an issue that you are here but wow." Serena is smiling at me. She has always had a carefree smile.
"Jenny said she needed someone to come along with her and I didn't have anything better to do." I say smiling back but no feeling as carefree. Not that this situation is awkward, because we have been broken up for at least a year and we talk once and awhile. It was one of those things where she was the first person of this world to ever give me the time of day. That was it. That was why I fell for her. She never felt that way about me and this is why we broke up. I was never enough for her.
"Serena, Nat is looking for you." Here she is, the woman of the hour. Blair Waldorf, the queen of the upper east side. You know after high school none of this will matter but for now it fits. She is smart, beautiful and a leader. She is wearing a short dress, the color red and the only makeup she is wearing is a bright red lipstick. Why does she seem so innocent?
"Humphrey? I don't remember inviting you but welcome." Blair smiles at me and it reaches her eyes. Is this an alternate universe?
"I am sorry about that you didn't invite me. Jenny brought me as her plus one. You have outdone yourself on this party. Impressive job Waldorf." I say hoping she likes the compliment. Everyone knows Blair should either be in fashion or party planning.
"My New Year's resolution is to relax, having you at my home is fine Humphrey. Please enjoy some drinks or we have a lot of food." New Year's was a few months ago maybe she is just trying to change. I wonder why? After years of being a bitch she is tired of it. Blair walks over to a small gathering of her minions and Chuck Bass. Chuck Bass, her on and off again boyfriend. The will they or will they not couple. I guess you could say the same about Serena and Nate. They are on for now. She is all snuggled up to him. This is the world I tried so hard to not want to be a part of. Then I tried to get in and then I got out of it again. Here I am, back at it. Only for a story. One story that will put me on the map. Hopefully on a higher map then the story I wrote about Chuck Bass.
Blair smiles at me from across the room and waves me over. Why do I feel like this will be more than just a story?
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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years
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The Photographer // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader
So I made a one-shot based off of the picture down here!
Word count ~ 3.1k
Summary - y/n is a celebrity photographer, and Matthew's birthday is coming up. This calls for a birthday shoot.
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Ever since I was in sixth grade, I dreamed of being a photographer. But back then, I was just taking candid pictures of my cat (Peanut Butter), and random flowers that my mom had graciously planted for me. I really never planned on taking nice, professional pictures of people.
But here I was.
I went to 'California College of Arts' in San Francisco for 4 years. After that, I had a bit of trouble getting myself out there. I had a decent following on my instagram. People liked the pictures of my dog, and the pictures of nature that I took on my many travels. But likes and follows don't get you money, at least not enough. So I switched my focus onto more interesting things.
Advertising yourself as a photographer wasn't an easy task. You had to be ruthless, and be willing to get rejected and not back down. So I did what any semi-sane person would do.
I messaged over 50 celebrities asking of they wanted to do a shoot with me. I sent them my prices, and what kinds of shoots I was willing to do. I didn't have much hope for it, but it was worth a try.
And that's where it began.
Out of all of the messages, Andrew Lincoln, AKA Rick from The Walking Dead messaged me back.
*Hello Miss y/l/n! I've actually seen quite a few of your nature shots and I have always wondered how your photos would turn out with people. I would love to be your Guinea Pig.*
He sent me days he was available and I did his shoot. After posting his pictures, my popularity shot from there.
That was a few years ago, I was now taking photos for multiple celebrities. I was ultimately known for my black and white shoots. I had, in fact, just gotten done with a shoot of A.J. Cook. She had requested *me* to take her pictures for an up and coming article that was being written about her. I, of course, gratefully said yes, being a huge fan of hers, along with the whole Criminal Minds cast.
I emailed her all of the pictures I had taken, edited and all, while simultaneously posting them on my instagram.
It was mere hours later before a notification popped up on my phone of an email that I could not believe. Theres no way that he was emailing me, right?
*You have an Email from Matthew Gray Gubler*
*Hi there! I saw your shoot on AJ's instagram and my birthday is coming up. My manager wants me to do a birthday shoot, and we both like your black and white style. I know it's not usually the kind of thing you, birthdays, do but I figured it was worth a shot, and I think you have some real talent. Let me know when you are free next. I am on a break so my schedule is relatively flexible.*
I could safely say that it was a good thing that I lived alone because I don't think I have ever screamed louder into a pillow. Matthew has been one of my favorite celebrities for the longest time. If we were going to be completely honest, once I started watching Criminal Minds, I immediately had a crush on him. This wasn't exactly the profession to be in if you were going to have a celebrity crush. I was often invited to red carpets and movie premiers, so I met quite a few stars. I never thought I would have to worry about slipping up on my professionalism.
Because I never thought I would even meet him.
My obvious answer to his request was yes. I would never *ever* miss an opportunity to have a photoshoot with someone so inspiring and meaningful to me. So I started writing an email back.
*Hi Matthew!*
Should I address him like that? Is that unprofessional?
*Hi Mr. Gubler*
Abso-fucking-lutely not.
*Hi Matthew!* We are gonna stick with that. *I don't know if this is too short of a notice, but I actually have a free spot tomorrow. (Of course if that doesn't work for you, I can figure something out for later, and try to fit it in before your birthday). I have a few ideas for props that I can send you? Let me know how I can help.*
I sent it and ran my hands through my hair, tossing my phone back onto my comforter. I had taken pictures of so many awesome celebrities:
• Selena Gomez
• Robert Downey Jr.
• Dylan O'Brien
• Grant Gustin
• Holland Roden
• Danai Gurira
But this was by far the coolest one, in my mind at least.
While waiting a little to anxiously for a reply, I decided I was going to make myself some lunch, Ramen. I set my phone on the counter as I boiled my noodles, peering over at the blank screen every few seconds (but really they felt like **minutes**).
Just as I was adding the flavour packet to the bowl my phone buzzed. I jumped slightly, spilling part of the packet out of the bowl.
"Damnit." I quickly wiped the salt into the trash can and snatched my phone, seeing another email.
*Tomorrow is actually perfect, and I would love to hear your recommendations on props, clothes, anything really. I'm going to leave my number on this email so we can have easier contact of that's okay with you.*
Wow, alright. I will now have Matthew Gray Gublers number in my phone. I made a contact for him.
**It's y/n, soooo for props. I figured I could bake you a cake! I took a few baking electives in college so I could make a really nice one and we can do something with it. I recommend you bring clothes you like to wear that are black and white. (Other colors work too, but it just looks and flows better if it's black and white). I will set the rest of the stuff up. I will be ready for you by 1 pm if that's okay.**
*You would bake me a cake?! That would be super cool thank you! I would love that. I will bring a few black and white outfits. Would it be weird if I brought a black and white Kimono?*
A chance to see Matthew in a kimono? Please yes.
**Oh my gosh please do. I would love to take pictures of you in an infamous kimono of yours.**
*Awesome! I will see you tomorrow at 1. Heres my managers info for you to sell the billing to.*
He attatched his managers email. I just sat at my kitchens island, smiling like a true dork at my phone.
**And here is my address, I run the studio at my house. What is your favorite cake and icing by the way? :)**
Was a smiley face unprofessional?
I need to chill out.
*Vanilla cake and chocolate frosting possibly? I will eat anything though probably. :)*
Now I was really smiling at my phone like a psycho idiot.
**Alrighty, see you tomorrow**
Since I didn't want to wake up too early tomorrow, I decided I was going to start the cake tonight. I had quite a few recipes held in my cabinets. I located my vanilla cake recipe and put my pre-made chocolate frosting on the counter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After about an hour of preparing, making a cake from scratch, and putting it in the oven. The cake was finally done and cooled. I added black cocoa to the frosting to make it completely black and got out my white gel.
*You made it 3 decades :)*
Was scrawled in calligraphy on the top of the cylindrical cake. I added white drips down the sides and white multi shaped sprinkles to the bottom part.
I set it in my fridge and got ready for bed. I know it's going to be hard to sleep just thinking about tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My alarm woke me up at 10 am, never before this had I woke up with a smile on my face before 12.
I took a quick shower and dressed in a white and blue floral romper with my hair in a high ponytail. Now it was time to set up backgrounds for the shoot.
I had two stations downstairs where I took all my photos. I set the first one up very normal with a white background and a rustic black stool. The second one was set up with another white background but littered with black streamers and big *30* black and white speckled balloons strung at the top.
Once I was done with all that. It was nearing 1. I slipped the cake out of the fridge and slid it onto my island. I glanced up at the clock above my stove.
*12:49*
Since I just had a little bit of time, I went a put some simple makeup on. I usually don't wear makeup when taking pictures of people, but for obvious reasons, I was making an exception.
Just as I was leaving my bathroom I heard a knock at my door. I walked swiftly to my door and opened it shakily.
"Hi!" He held up the clothes that were hung lazily over his arm. He smiled that million dollar smile and I could have sworn he looked me up and down.
Wishful thinking I guess.
"Welcome!" I stepped out of the doorway, silently inviting him in. "If you wanna set your stuff down, those stairs to the right lead you down the the studio."
"Thanks." He scurried down the stairs as I grabbed the cake and followed him down. I set it on a table that I had down there, he peered over at it and immediately burst into fits of laughter.
"I knew you had a sense of humor, so why put something normal and boring on the cake." I laughed with him as he tried to catch his breath.
"This is so perfect." He laughed a little more. "Thank you, so much." I shrugged with a smile. I posed him in front of the streamers with the cake.
He made some silly faces and smiled like there was no tomorrow. Next I brought him to the more plain station, sitting him on the stool. I looked through the lenses of the camera and glared a bit.
"Hey can you put your left leg up on the second peg of the stool?" I asked, pointing to his leg.
"This one?" He put it on the third. I shook my head. "This one?" He moved it down the the fourth. He was smiling a sly smile, seemingly challenging me.
"Let me do it for you." I had to pose people often, but posing him was going to be a little harder for me, considering I found him painfully attractive.
I moved his leg up to the second one and patted it.
"Now leave it there, so I don't have to help you again." I giggled, walking back to my camera. Taking a picture of him leaning forward on the stool and smiling. I then made him laugh and got a good genuine one of him leaning back and laughing. After all that, I proposed that we eat some cake and took a break.
I cut him a slice and handed it to him with a smile.
"So, tell me about yourself." He said, eating a bite of his cake.
"Well, I have always enjoyed photography. I love all types of art, so I also draw and paint often. And I have a black cat upstairs. His name is-" and I stopped, blood rushing to my cheeks. He is most certainly going to ask me the name, and I do not want to tell him.
He stared at me expectantly. "What is his name?" He motioned me to go on.
"Uh," I laughed a little awkwardly, setting my hands in my lap and staring at them. "His name is Spencer. As in Spencer Reid..." I glanced up at him and saw a huge grin break out on his face.
"So you like Criminal Minds? I never would have guessed. You just don't seem the type."
"Well all my memorabilia is in my room, just so people don't think I'm weird for having quite a few framed and signed posters." I smiled up at him, pushing around the remaining cake crumbs on my plate.
"One, That's not weird, that's awesome. Two, can I please meet Spencer and take pictures with him in my kimono."
I don't think I have ever heard a better sentence in my entire life.
"Yes, absolutely! I'll go get him." I clunked up the stairs on my search to find Spencer. I went to his usual spot first, my bed. Luckily he was sitting there, licking his outstretched foot. "Hi baby! You are about to take pictures with the guy you are named after. He almost as cute as you!" I grabbed him from the bed an headed back downstairs. I walked in with the accidental impeccable timing to see Matthew in his barely tied kimono, showing off his chest. My eyes widened a bit and he tied it off fully.
"Is this the famous Spencer?! He is so cute!" He reached his arms out at Spencer. My little fluff ball curled up into him instantly, cuddling into his silky kimono.
We took many many pictures of Spencer and Matthew together. I think maybe my cat likes him more than he likes me now.
"Okay, last idea. How about we just take some more up close pictures of me feeding you some cake?" It came put as a question because I didn't know how comfortable he would be with it.
"Perfect!" I cut another slice of the cake and brought it over to him. We were both sitting on the floor.
"This might be a little awkward, okay?" I giggled as I leaned back to get his whole face in the shot. This proved to be very difficult as I was using my left hand to take the picture. I fed him the cake with the right as he looked at the camera with a more seductive look. I could have melted into the floor.
I decided to switch hands so I could take the photos better, but now my very uncoordinated hand was the one picking up the cake. As I went down to get another section of the cake for another angle of feeding this sculpture of a man, I instead dipped my thumb right into the deep black frosting.
"Shit, I'm so sorry hold on." As I went to stand up and grab a napkin to wipe my thumb off, Matthew grabbed my wrist lightly.
"Hold on, uh, I have an idea, before you do anything." I sat down with a confused look. "I saw someone do this in another shoot. But we totally don't have to do it. I just thought it would be a different idea." His words were more rushed than usual.
"I'm sure I've done weirder things for other shoots, don't worry. It's *your* shoot." I reassured him, though my head was swimming wondering what he was going to do.
"Ok. So. What I'm going to do is put your thumb in my mouth, and I'm basically gonna, uh, suck on it while kinda smiling?" He could barely get through the whole thing without laughing.
"Alright, weird request but I like it!" I giggled for what seemed like the 30th time today. "And to make you feel better, yes, I have done weirder."
"Thank God."
"So I am guessing you want me to do something like this with the rest of my hand, ya know, the part that's not in your mouth." I stated as I placed my hand on his cheek. He let a slow breath out, staring into my eyes.
"Yeah, exactly."
"Okay." I said with a shrug, grabbing my camera from the ground. He opened his mouth with an all too familiar wide grin as I placed my thumb in. His mouth closed around it and he smiled, just a little. I brought my camera to my face, capturing the moment that I would have forever in my mind and in a small frame on my bedroom wall, for sure.
I slipped my thumb from his mouth and watched as his face turned extremely red. To save him embarrassment, I immediately stood up and grabbed a napkin to wipe the rest of the frosting off.
"Can I see it?" He motioned to the camera. I nodded, sitting down right beside him, showing him the picture. It showed off a closer look at the rose tattoos I had near my wrists and the shiny watch that was gifted to me by my mom. "It turned out good! I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."
"Oh no! Of course not. Total opposite." As soon as I said that I regretted it.
"So that made you extremely comfortable?" A sly smile was making it's way onto his face.
"That's, that's not- You know what? Sure, yes." I chuckled. "You don't really make me uncomfortable at all to be honest. So no, you didn't make me uncomfortable."
"Well I'm glad." He smiled and we sat in silence for a moment.
"Well I guess that's it yeah?" He nodded. "Well this was fun. Thanks for being an excellent subject to take pictures of."
He gathered his stuff as we went back upstairs. Once at the door, Spencer came up to him, rubbing on his leg. He bent over to pet him.
"So, I'm not sure if you are single or not." I could feel the blood draining from my face. Was this really happening right now? "But I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date?"
Yes, this was happening right now.
"Really?" I could tell I sounded extremely excited, but at this point, I didn't even care.
"Yeah, you are super laid back, funny, talented, and you aren't scared away by how weird I am." He laughed, "So yes?"
"I would absolutely love to."
"Great. I'll text you." He winked and waved as he closed the door, leaving.
My back went against the door. I couldn't keep in the squeal so I just embraced it and squealed my heart out, doing a little dance.
Which was quickly ended when I heard a knock at the door.
"I'm sorry, I want to get to know you better immediately." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Are you free for the rest of the day?" I was sure that my face was red as a tomato.
"Yes I am." He grabbed my hand, dragging me outside.
"Then let's go."
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