#but god he has some weird ass poses
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Why the fuck is he standing like that? What is he doing with his arms? He looks an emo teenager being forced to have his picture taken. And why is his torso so short? Or is he just wearing pants that go up to his ribs like the peepaw he is?
#Michael Jackson looking ass#love him so much#but god he has some weird ass poses#enjoy my rambles#hellsing#alucard#alucard hellsing#hellsing manga
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model!steve and voice actor!eddie
part 2 here | ao3 link here
Eddie chose a career in voice acting to avoid shit like this.
Forced socializing. Schmoozing with hotshot directors who are used to everyone kissing their ass until their lips bleed. And Eddie doesn’t do that shit.
… Okay yeah sure, Eddie kisses asses. But only in the literal, consensual kind of way. Usually after a few mediocre dinner dates, at least.
But this particular fuckhole of a director is insisting that Eddie attends the production shoot of the commercial that he’ll be narrating for. Which is weird - that’s not how this process typically goes. Eddie gets the script and records it in his studio. Easy peasy.
“I do things a little differently with my projects.” The director sneers into the phone’s speaker. Eddie silently gags at the oozing amounts of ego on this guy. “I want to immerse you into my vision.”
Ew. Eddie would rather immerse himself into a nap, but whatever. A job is a job.
“Understood.” Eddie agrees with minimal teeth-clenching. “I’ll be on set shortly.”
The phone clicks dead with nothing but a chuckle from the guy. No ‘goodbye,’ no ‘thank you.’ Rude… but that’s kind of an industry standard, so why did Eddie expect anything different?
He folds the script into his back pocket, throws on a shirt that screams ‘Los Angeles disaster gay,’ and makes his way to the studio lot.
Fucking yay.
Upon arrival, the director immediately escorts Eddie into the green room. Rambles on about needing him to meet the lead model for this commercial.
“Isn’t he just posing with the product?” Eddie lets his snarkiness run loose with that question, knows it right away.
Luckily, the guy is too busy snapping at a crew member to notice. “You’ll be voicing his character’s inner narrations.”
“Right.”
“And I want your tone to be seamless with the energy that he’s giving in this shoot. Got it?”
“Loud and clear.” Mostly loud.
The director swings open the door and reveals maybe the most cosmically beautiful person that Eddie has ever seen.
“Eddie, this is Steve.” The director says. “Steve, this is Eddie.”
Models are beautiful people, that’s the goddamn gig. Makeup, no makeup. Photoshop, no photoshop. They just look better than the general population and society accepts that as a fact.
But Eddie is a grubby little voice actor that burrows himself up in his boxy apartment for days. Very little sunlight, very little human interaction, and a shit ton of takeout.
Long story short, he doesn’t get out much. So this? Seeing a biblically hot heartthrob in the flesh? With his own two eyes? It’s knocking him into deep space. Sending him into an astral projection without sticking a tablet on his tongue first.
“Nice to meet you, man.” Steve holds out his hand while someone brushes more powder onto his shiny, glowy skin. God, that’s the best damn skin Eddie has ever seen. Powder be damned, Steve doesn’t need it’s chalky finish.
Eddie shakes himself out of this spell, takes Steve’s hand like he’s somehow worthy of touching him. “Yeah, you too.”
Lame. So lame. On a scale of one to Star Wars prequels, his response is the CGI in Attack of the Clones. ‘Yeah, you too?’ Ugh, what a dumbass.
The director tells them to get acquainted and to be on set in ten minutes. Ten minutes. Eddie has to be convincingly normal for ten whole minutes. Pfft, that’s laughable, but he’ll give it a shot.
“That guy’s a total asshat.” Steve grumbles.
Oh. Eddie could smother him in kisses for saying that. Lick Steve clean of all that stupid powder and probably die of talc poisoning. Death By Licking a Model is one hell of a way to go.
“Yeah.” Find some new words, Munson. “Major asshat. But he happens to be paying my bills this month, so technically, he’s my favorite major asshat.”
“Oh, same.” Steve laughs. It’s fucking glorious too. Eddie kind of wishes he had brought his microphone so that he could capture such a wonderful sound with high quality recording software. Is that creepy? Maybe he should dial it back.
... As if. This guy’s hair is sculpted with effortless perfection and his shoulder blades could slice through a French baguette. No way Eddie can dial it back or keep it together.
“So you’re doing the voice work on the commercial, right?” Steve asks.
‘Yup.” Eddie shoves both hands into his pockets. “Indeed I am.”
Okay, that was borderline Yoda. Get a grip.
Steve seems unfazed though. “That’s cool. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with.”
“Thanks.” Eddie smiles warmly. Nerves mellowing out. “And I can’t wait to see you in action out there.”
“Hope I can give you some good inspiration.” And Steve winks, legit winks at Eddie. Does it like it’s normal too, like he winks at everybody. He probably winks at nuns just to see if he can get them to consider conversion.
Eddie is so hopeless. Fucking tragic at this point.
They walk into the studio and are greeted by a somber, archaic set design. There’s a massive throne in the middle that is draped with fur.
It’s… tacky. That’s the nicest adjective Eddie has to describe it. Tacky bullshit.
“I thought this was for a cologne ad.” Eddie says, eyeing the snowy backdrop.
Steve nods. “It is.”
“So what’s with the secondhand Game of Thrones set?”
“Mr. Asshat thinks this is his cinematic debut.”
Eddie snorts. Loves that he already has inside jokes with this beautiful, beautiful creature. “Someone should tell Mr. Asshat that this is visual plagiarism.”
“Nah.” Steve runs his hand over the tacky fur piece. Smirks to himself as he speaks. “I say we let him suffer.”
Eddie’s legs wobble. “Damn, you’re hot.”
He sounds ridiculously uncool, so breathy and gone. But Steve shrugs in a non-pitying kind of way, so maybe Eddie's uncoolness is excused. Or expected.
While the camera and lighting crew finalize their positions, Steve takes off his robe, revealing his costume.
Torn, muddied pants. Ripped and clawed to shreds. A billowy white top that’s completely unbuttoned. Un-laced? Eddie’s not entirely sure about the mechanics - just knows that Steve’s chest is out, that’s all he can focus on.
There’s a dented crown that the stylist places next to the throne, right at Steve’s feet. It’s shimmery yet tarnished, catches the light in a kaleidoscope effect.
The product is called The Fallen King, so deductive reasoning tells Eddie that Steve is meant to be the physical embodiment of this scent. He recalls something in the script about his title being slandered by promiscuity and forbidden love. Apparently they’ve bottled up that smell into a cologne.
Do people really want to smell like a dethroned monarch? That’s a thing? Huh.
Just to make the sexual torture even more unbearable, Eddie gets to spectate alongside Mr. Asshat himself. Which also means that Eddie almost has a center view of Steve’s performance.
Cause that’s exactly what he’s giving. A performance. A full display production of his body, his face. His whole godlike essence.
It’s unfair how fucked Eddie is from watching Steve pose. He can hold the oddest positions without budging a single tendon. So still. Durable. Strong.
Every last thought in Eddie’s head is impure from that observation. He wants to wrap his fingers around Steve’s muscles until he finally moves, twitches. Eddie wants to watch as Steve’s pretty lips part, falling open with sighs. See how long it takes for those sighs to turn into moans.
Steve slumps back into the throne, legs spread obscenely far apart. His gaze droops low and dark, practically eye-fucking the camera. It’s crazy how jealous Eddie is of that stupid inanimate object. The things he would do to get eye-fucked by that golden sex god up there…
His internal porno gets interrupted by a new pose. A wicked one. Steve is on his knees now, looking up into the camera lens. He sinks into the dreamiest expression. Looks dazed, all spaced-out and helpless. Eddie kneads at the growing heat in his pants with the heel of his palm. Hopes it’s not fucking obvious that he’s so horned up right now.
The director clears his throat and yells over the camera’s constant shuttering. “Can you tilt your head back, Steve?”
And Steve does. So obedient, so exceptional at his job. His head rolls back on his neck, shoulders sagging with the shift of weight.
Eddie is chewing the inside of his cheek, nearly ready to take the horny loss and go jack off in his car. Steve is in the most ideal position now, totally vulnerable. Eddie could fuck him so good like that, let Steve melt into his touch. He’d treat him like treasure, spoil him with dick and praise. Eddie would catch him if his legs give out. Would lick Steve’s kiss-bitten lips until the swelling goes down.
God, Eddie is so sick in the head for conjuring up x-rated scenes like this. In public, surrounded by strangers. Literally on the clock. He seriously needs to get his head checked for having such a whorish imagination.
The shoot ends shortly after that last pose, the one that rocked Eddie’s world. He closes his eyes for a minute, takes a few deep breaths. Tries to inhale some goddamn decency.
“How was it?” Steve heads his way, snaking his arms back into the bathrobe.
Eddie blinks hard. “It was… you were…” And the words stop. Nothing else comes out, his throat is strangled and bare.
Steve gives a soft laugh, nudges Eddie’s arm with his elbow. “Guess you do better when there’s a script in front of you, huh?”
Oh. So he’s pretty and darkly playful? This is too good, too delicious.
Eddie wets his bottom lip, recovers quickly. “I do better when there’s not an earthbound angel in my presence.”
“Wow.” Steve raises both eyebrows. “That’s quite the compliment.”
“Oh come on - you must get compliments all the time.”
“Not like that one though.”
“No?”
Steve takes a step into Eddie’s space. “Definitely not.”
They just stare after that - mostly because it’s Eddie’s turn to speak but words are so secondary when there’s this much beauty to behold. Gazing becomes his top priority.
And before the conversation can lead to an exchange of last names or phone numbers, Steve is rushed off by his agent. Maybe his publicist. Maybe his mom, Eddie has no fucking clue. Just someone taking away his shiny new toy. He sort of feels like reenacting that scene in Cast Away when the volleyball drifts into the ocean. Be dramatic as all hell about this ending.
Eddie doesn’t actually jack off in his car, although he really wants to. No, he decides to use all of his adrenaline and pent-up hormones for the voice recording. It gives his vocals this strained, chesty sound. Sinful and corrupt. Cracking with emotion in certain spots, spiking the volume in all the right ways.
It might be too much, a little bit too suggestive for a lousy cologne advertisement.
But as he listens back, Eddie can’t help but picture Steve. Imagining snapshots of him from every angle, especially the unspeakable ones. The recording barely sounds like a script anymore. It almost sounds like Eddie whispering the lines directly into Steve’s ear. A dirty secret between them.
This is it, he thinks. Sends the audio file to his sound mixer without a second read-through, without a retake. This might be the best voiceover Eddie Munson has ever done.
#steddie#steddie fic#this is inspired by the unhinged ao3 tag generator#so there will be two more parts - fairly short like this one#not sure if I should put this on ao3... we shall see#anyways thanks for listening xx
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Oh boy, VaM is kind of a trial and error experience LOL I couldn't really show you how to use the interface and stuff without a whole video or something, but it's not THAT difficult to get a hang of if you just give yourself a day or two to play around, not to mention the number of tutorials you find out there. Luckily, if you only want to use it as a reference software that makes the process far easier (to this day I have no idea how to animate on that thing, since that's not what I use it for)
As for how I use it, it's pretty self explanatory - if there's a complicated pose I want to draw but I'm either having trouble with it, or just want to double-check angles/anatomy, I will use it as a resource! I use for most of my "proper" pieces (y'know, the nicer looking ones) and every once in a while for my silly comics if I'm having trouble with a pose.
Lets use this drawing for example (the character on top of DU drow belongs to @namespara )
I don't draw a lot of mud-wrestling (shocking, I know) but I had an idea of the kind of pose I wanted them to be in. So the very first thing I did was make a rough sketch of what I was envisioning:
I often do a rough sketch first, even If I know I'm going to be pulling the program up because A) It's less tedious than adjusting the models over and over again until I pick a pose and B) because sometimes I'll decide I don't need the reference, after all, and so that's 30 minutes I'll have spared myself of playing around on the software.
Now, this is a pretty complicated pose! It's in a weird angle and the bodies are making contact in ways I'm not used to depicting, so I did choose to whip out VaM for this one. I went into the program and after some messing around, I flopped my little dolls together like this:
Now something really cool about VaM is that you can completely customize your models, and if you have the patience, I would definitely encourage you to do so! Obviously, you don't have to make picture perfect replicas of every single character you have, but as you can see here I have made a DU drow "decoy" to help me better understand some of his features when I draw him: he has a strong brow, a short nose, a square jawline - these are all going to look a very specific way from certain angles, and I might not always be sure of how to draw it right! So it's useful to have models that bear SOME semblance to the character so you can better understand how different viewpoints will affect their bone structure and mass.
Also thank fucking god for the elf-ear slider. Figuring out how to draw those shits from certain angles was a huge pain in the ass when I started drawing DnD races.
So, with the reference in hand, I go over the sketch again:
Now you may notice that I don't stick to the reference 100%. There's three reasons for this:
posing on VaM is tedious as hell. You can get something incredibly natural looking and picture-perfect to reference from if you wish, but it's going to take you hours to do. So, for the most part I just slap guys together until the results are "close enough" and use that.
In my opinion, you should always aim to ENHANCE your reference material, not replicate it exactly!
While VaM is a PRETTY DANG GOOD source of anatomical reference, it isn't perfect, I often supplement it with further reference from real life resources or make tweaks based on my own knowledge where I catch it falling short (and, antithetical to what I just said, I sometimes fuck the anatomy up further on purpose if I think it looks better that way LOL it's all jazz baby).
Then lines, color, yada yada. I don't have a tutorial on that and I don't think I could make one, because my process is chaotic as hell, but I do at times use Virt-a-mate as loose reference for lighting too when coloring - waaaaayyyy less so however, because that process is even more tedious and I feel like I often get better results by just winging it. It is a feature of the program though, and I'm sure it would be helpful for someone who has a difficult time visualizing lights and shadows. I only started using this program a few months ago, so I happened to already have a pretty good understanding of that kind of thing and just don't personally feel like I get much out of that particular mechanic.
Here's a few other examples of pieces that I made reference for (WARNING: Suggestive)
Now, for the question many of you may want to ask:
"Can I trace this junk?"
And to that, I say: Buddy, you can do whatever the hell you want with the reference material you created.
However,
If your goal is to learn and improve your art, and to recreate realistic proportions and anatomy from memory, tracing won't help you.
Developing your own style, your muscle memory, and personal technique will all be hindered by choosing to trace instead of drawing from observation, so I would encourage against it. Hell - even when tracing is employed as a technique, it's usually by high-skill realism & concept artists who are looking to either cut some corners, save time, or just double-check their own proportions in order to improve further - if you try tracing as a beginner, you will most definitely find the result to still look stiff and "off".
So trust me, there is so much more to be gained from drawing from observation. Make note of tangents, compare proportions, use all the elements of the picture to dictate where and how things should go - it will be a far more rewarding experience.
Hopefully this has been helpful! VaM is a really cheap program (you get it on the guys' patreon for I think 8 dollars, just google it!) and it's definitely been worth my money as an artist since I found it. Learning to use it can be a little intimidating at first glance, but as I said above you only really need a day plus one or two tutorials to get a hang of the interface.
A fair warning though, IT IS A SOFTWARE MADE FOR VIRTUAL SEX/ADULT ANIMATION So when looking it up expect to see a some spicy content.
#Funfact THIS is the post that got me flagged last time so i'm really tempting fate right now LOL#ask#art#tutorial#resource
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Ok so like…. Who makes Ratio’s statues?
Because every possible explanation just opens up a whole new can of worms.
I’ve been trying to go through as much info about him as I can, including his character stories, but I can’t find anything???
So I’m just left stewing in the dark, which usually leads to my humor coming into play.
So like… are the statues of Ratio’s own making??
Because that would insinuate that he takes the time out of his busy life to constantly make new statues of just himself, including the multiple plaster heads. And if it’s not him physically and it is a manifestation of his Imaginary powers, he’s still making them right???
So he still chooses the poses!
Why???
What is his thought process???
Physically made or Imaginary Powers made, it’s still his choice on what the statue should look like right???
And if it’s not a conscious decision, then WHAT DO THE JOJO AND CUTESY POSES MEAN
IS JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURES FUCKING CANON IN HSR??
IS IT A SHOW THAT EXISTS??
ARE YOU TELLING ME ARAKI FUCKING EXISTS IN HSR??
AND RATIO IS A FAN??????
DON’T TELL ME IT’S JUST A FUN REFERENCE BY THE HSR TEAM, YEA IT’S META TO US BUT IT’S CANON TO THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE THAT RATIO HAS A STATUE OF HIMSELF DOING A JOJO POSE
On the other hand, if it’s not Ratio himself making them… who is it????
Is Ratio commissioning some artists?? Multiple artists? Only one?!?!?
Is it some weird form of extra credit for his students???
(Student A: Hey wanna hang out tonight?
Student B: Can’t. Gotta finish up this statue of Dr. Ratio examining his codex by Friday if I wanna get a passing grade in the class
Student A: You can sculpt???
Student B crying with 100 tabs of ‘how to sculpt’ videos and wikiHows pulled up and no sleep: I’m trying my best here Sharon)
Is he like those Renaissance time rich people who basically paid for their favorite artist’s livelihood in order to just make nice art in return??? Is there now a really well-off sculptor somewhere in the universe who is just constantly being paid by THE Dr. Ratio to make stone statues of the man??? Does the artist just put that down in their tax returns??
(back at it again with Topaz suffering from Ratiorine’s antics, she’s the one in charge of Ratio’s Sculptor’s taxes)
THAT STILL DOESN’T ANSWER THE STATUE POSE QUESTIONS
DID THE ARTIST ADD IN THE JOJO POSE AND HEART POSE AS A GAG??? AND SURVIVE RATIO SEEING THEM??
WORSE- DID RATIO COMMISSION THE POSES??? WHAT WAS THAT CONVERSATION EVEN LIKE??? DID HE HAVE TO POSE?? DOES THE ARTIST JUST HAVE AN ENTIRE SCRAPBOOK OF RATIO DOING DIFFERENT POSES FOR CONSTANT REFERENCE?
FUCK IT, DID AVENTURINE GET IN CONTACT WITH THE ARTIST AND PAY EVEN MORE MONEY FOR THE CUTESY POSES??
(Whole new thought process, the artist is making statues of Ratio for both Ratio AND Aventurine, and all the cute statues are actually commissions by Aventurine for his little Dr. Ratio idol crush shrine. There’s a constant slapstick comedy routine of Aventurine trying to hide them anytime Ratio comes over to his place and barely getting away with it. Does he ever come clean when they start dating? Do they start dating because Ratio finds the statues? Fuck it, if Ratio is the one making the statues and not an artist, does he teach Aventurine how to sculpt?? Does it become like something they do together to spend time?? Ok damn wait that’s kinda cute wait-)
WAIT ADDING ON TO THAT- DOES THAT MEAN FOLLOWING THIS THOUGHT PROCESS THAT AVENTURINE IS THE JOJO FAN???? HE’S A FUCKING JOTARO STAN???
(wait- brisk MC who’s rude to everyone but soft on those he cares about and has the muscles of a Greek god and eventually goes into academia, oh my fucking god Aventurine has a type)
PLEASE
I NEED TO KNOW
WHERE ARE THESE STATUES COMING FROM
EVERYONE SEEMS TO KNOW ABOUT THEM, THEY AREN’T A SECRET
IS HIS HOUSE JUST FULL OF STATUES???
DOES HE HAVE A WHOLE-ASS GRECO-ROMAN-STYLE GARDEN FULL OF HIS OWN STATUES???
DOES THE ARTIST SEE A STATUE DISAPPEAR FROM THE GARDEN AND IMMEDIATELY KNOW RATIO USED HIS TECHNIQUE TO SLAM ONE DOWN BREAKING IT AND JUST GO “fucking hell man, I was just about to go on break! Now I need to start a new one!”
IS IT A HOBBY?? HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET INTO SCULPTING AS A HOBBY WITH HIS SCHEDULE???
ARE THEY GIFTS??
FROM WHO, STUDENTS??? ADMIRERS? FUCK IT, AVENTURINE???
DOES THE ARTIST BEING COMMISSIONED EVEN HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE RATIO STATUES??? DO THEY EVEN HAVE THE ABILITY TO SCULPT ANYTHING OTHER THAN RATIO AT THIS POINT??? HAVE THEY SEEN ANY OTHER BEING OUTSIDE OF THEIR STUDIO AND THE HUNDREDS OF RATIO STATUES???
PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO ANSWER ME
#hsr#honkai star rail#dr. ratio#dr ratio honkai star rail#veritas ratio#hsr aventurine#ratiorine#aventio#aventurine#i wanna throw topaz in too but she's barely in 1 line#OK BUT SERIOUSLY#I'M GOING INSANE#EVER SINCE HIS TECHNIQUE WAS SHOWN MONTHS AGO#EVERYTIME I USE IT I GO SLIGHTLY MORE INSANE#PLZ#SOMEONE#GIVE ME AN ANSWER#(cite source plz)#Ratio makes me so mad sometimes#aventurine makes me wanna protect him#i wanna fist fight ratio#i'd lose 100%#no shot#wouldn't even last 10 seconds#verbal or phsyical#i'm going down#BUT SQUARE UP#GIVE ME ANSWERS
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Back at it again with the BNHA crossover Ponderings!
Nedzu is LITERALLY one of THE smartest beings on the planet, right? Like... he's probably on some internationally recognized list of Top Planetary IQs? Which is why Japan let's him get away with so much?
Cause they REALLY fucked him over, he has the power to leave, and that would be really, REALLY bad Brain Drain wise/politically for the Japanese Government? (Also pls don't become a Supervillian we literally can not afford that, Mr. Nedzu Sir? Etc etc)
You think he has... like? Chats? With the OTHER top intellects? Some kid in Siberia with the New Super Intelligence Quirk his parents can't begin to even handle, gets put in history's WEIRDEST group chat? I like to think so.
But the REASON I ask this?
What hero do you call? For Weird Shit in international waters?
Suspicious, floating, weirdly two dimensional and HIGHLY radioactive... corrosive... green goop? Rings? Orbs? CAN it be an orb if it's two dimensional? It certainly LOOKS like there is depth to it... somehow...
A THING. In the sky.
Shouldn't be there, man. This is a shipping lane. It's scaring the people on passing ships. No one knows what Quirk could have made this. Might be a trafficking victim's call for help. Might be a first Quirk Use mishap. They need to know what it IS and how to get rid of it.
They go the normal routes first. Doesn't work. Okay, call in some professionals. Kinda pricey, but no big. Right? Doesn't work. Okaaaay, call in a SPECIALIST. REAL pricey, but this thing is holding up international trade, making people in fancy ass suit all Nervous(TM).
Doesn't Work.
Specialist tells um to not to bother with calling anyone else on their normal list. Is looking at the green goo like it spat on his mother and called his dog a whore. They would prefer he NOT make that facial expression. That is a facial expression that will get them yelled at by their bosses. Fuck(TM).
Now Politics(TM) are involved. People want to STUDY the green goo. Harness it for dubious and unknown green goo experiments. Poke it with their Quirk to see what'll happen. There's fuckin REPORTER with no concept of self-preservation, trying to get CLOSER to the RADIOACTIVE POISON GOO.
Fuckin Heros have shown up.
Why are you bastards even HERE. What? Are you peacocks gonna PUNCH it? Get off their rig! Stop posing in front of the GOO!
Then? Oh thank GOD. The SMART people show up. Certified, highest grade, triple refined, PREMIUM Nerds(TM). The WAY above our pay grade folks. We're SAVED! Can we PLEASE go home now? We are just ocean cleaners! Our job is debris! Not weird GOO!
Enter, stage Super Cool Helicopters? The Elite Nerds of Earth. Of which Nedzu is one. Since Japan is closest. And it's a school weekend! He had some time.
And?
Ha ha... Thanks, he hates it! Nedzu's stoat brain is SCREAMING and he wants NOTHING to do with...? What he is somehow CERTAIN is a floating pit of Death! Interesting effect. Anyone getting that or just him?
Then? Some hot head on loan to Korea from the states? Spots something. SomeONE. And does he TELL the newly arrived professionals? So they may do a risk assessment? Figure out a way to rescue this individual SAFELY? Of course not!
Said hot head has supposedly indescribable chains! So he just flings them rights on in! Grabbing the boy from the center of the portal, pulling him free, and in the process? Immediately destabilizing it. Causing it to collapse down towards everyone bellow.
He also then proceeds to DROP the young lad, in his alarm at this entirely predictable outcome.
Right. Into. The Ocean.
A boy, who is dressed in filthy medical scrubs, haunting familiar in a way nothing should EVER be again, and entirely unconscious. Plunge down into the briny deeps and bitter cold. Alone. Abandoned. Death, thick and viscous, losing form and raining down like bile.
Everyone saving themselves.
Ah, he rather liked this suit.
The salt water ruins it. The droplets of Green, burn like molten glass each time they touch him. He will likely have at least a few new scars, after today. Assuming this is not the end of him. But he swims fast. The boy sinking slower then his size would suggest he should. He grabs hold and arcs, dragging them both from beneath the fallout of yet another humans hubris.
He does not stop swimming. Not until he knows he is near the helicopter. He is thankful, that he dragged Aizawa along. The man takes one look at his serious expression, the state of his rescued young friend, and merely hauls them both out of the water and into the machine.
Time to go.
They saw nothing, it seems. And there is nothing to be found.
The boy does not wake. Not for quite a while. Long enough, that Nedzu, perhaps unwisely, has grown attached. Is considering adoption. If only too terrorize a few goverment bodies. And... well... the boy will need some who UNDERSTANDS. And the scars paint a very specific sort of tale. But first, the most important question, when beginning these things...
"Tea? Or would you prefer coffee?"
@the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter @hdgnj
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I dunno why but I feel like Gepard can handle liquor. Like Sampo has the gift of bein smart knowin his limits and what to drink and when, so he gives off the vibe of being able to handle a lot but he's not that heavyweight. He's jus big brain conman XD. Get enough in him n he'll go down like the rest.
But Geppie. Man's sippin vodka from the bottle and not even slurrin his words. When he was a trainee the older guards decided to prank him with a glass of absinthe n called it a weak alcohol only for him to get halfway and not even bat an eye, only stopped cuz it tasted like ass. Dude takes the path of preservation seriously. Even his liver is beyond destruction XD.
Which is why I find two situations very freakin funny, which I'd love your opinion on:
1) Sampo starts up a drinking competition with him. It's on one of his guardian mandated holidays, so Gepard doesn't have to be responsible, and Dove 3 in 1 won't leave him alone anyway, so he agrees. Partway thru Sampo realises he's losin but Gep insists on gettin the drinks so he can't even cheat his way to victory. Cue Gep having to drag a very drunk, incredibly flirty Sampo back to Natasha but he keeps running off. Even being drunk doesn't stop him from havin smoke bombs up the wazoo.
2) Sampo manages to cheat, scheme, girlboss his way to victory. He comes out on top but now has the problem of an incredibly drunk, dangerously curious Silvermane Captain who won't stop flooding him with the oddest of questions. "Why are your eyes so green? Is your hair natural? What happened to the rest of your shirt? Do you really enjoy crime or is it jus something you fell into?" Whi- okay that one was oddly specific and he doesn't have the capacity, as tispy as he is, to answer.
He really needs to get him back home, before he asks the wrong person the wrong question, but isn't cognitive enough to face being questioned by Bronya and would sooner die than face Serval. So he opts into takin him to one of his more obvious hideouts which poses 10 million problems in and of itself when he keeps freakin touching everything!
ANON YOURE RIGHT YOURE A FUCKING. GENIUS. I been thinkin bout this A LOT ACTUALLY prob cuz for some reason fandom seems to lean towards gepard bein a horrific lightweight (i mean i know Why the lightweight trope is very much seen as 'cute' and childlike n whatever but i digress). But tbhtbhtbh i agree w u 100% like.
Gepard is a Tank of a Man. Homie can handle anything. Mfer the living embodiment of preservation like dude could be like 'serval this drink sucks' and hes gulping down perfume, unaffected. Dudes prob ate weird shit out on the front lines n questionable rations. The stuff in his fridge is expired n hes jus shrugging and eating it anyways.
I think w sampo its like. He SEEMS like he can handle his liquor. And hes not bad w it. But hes an Actor. Mfer could be plastered and you wouldnt know. Dude could convince a breathalyzer that hes only a Little Tipsy. But theres a threshold for him where he jus Caves at some points. Like u said tho man is Always competent w bombs. Like drunken boxing but w daggers dude could be blown over by a gentle breeze but still kicks ass.
I imagine that gepard doesnt Usually drink in that he jus. Doesnt care much. But absolutely his drink of choice is the hard shit. He jus has whiskey w ice or vodka w tonic water like a freak. Maybe a white russian if hes feelin zesty. When his guards convince him to go to the bar n challenge him to take shots he shrugs n jus packs them back no big deal.
But oh my god like. The 2nd scenario. I imagine it in order like first sampo realizing gepard has an Inhuman tolerance n making it his missiom to get the good ol captain fucked up. N it takes a while but like. Gepard jus gets more... blunt. But in a strange soft questioning way where he asks the things he wonders bout but never says aloud. The kinda soul reads like 'sampo youre a criminal not because you need to be but because you enjoy the thrill and attention right?' N sampo is just like holy fuck. But its like his inhibitions are gone and hes so Curious about everything and everything. He hangs onto sampos every word n it drives sampo crazy
#alcohol mention#sampard#anon im holding you. we r holding hands.#i like gep being a sturdy lad. like. a tank. nothing shakes him. someone tries to poison him but he doesnt notice#getting stabbed is a mild inconvenience ok. all the silvermanes get food poisoning from the cafeteria food one day except him.#except wine fucks him up a lil quicker#who knows why bsbsvdjddh#anon#ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE: gepard is the 'can i have a sip of your water?' 'its not water' 'what' 'its vodka'
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It’s giving engineering student Oscar on the first day of his Motorsport internship!!!!!
(BFBFFBFBFB he's lucky he's so gd beautiful bc he rly said 'let me find the most boring backdrop I possibly ca--ooh is tha empty tarmac? perfect')
dj!escort!Lando is booked at MTC for a gig to unveil their new car and decides to scroll their socials while flying back from Vietnam w Martin. first he sees Oscar posing stiffly in the new odd shirtdress race suit and decides why not zoom in on it. who he at first thought was just some kid turns out to have a beautiful slim waist and mile long legs under the suit. pretty little hands too. oh and the face... is very good. defined jaw and cheekbones, cute nose, pretty brown eyes. the kind of soft hair you want to run your fingers through after sex. the mouth is more intriguing than he'd first thought. pretty pink lips and sort of pouty. would probably turn hot pink after being kissed for an hour. maybe even a blood red after blowing Lando in the-- damn. Lando has to adjust himself and close out the photos.
so maybe he spends the rest of the plane ride ignoring the rest of the guys by going to this Oscar Piastri's accounts. gets absolutely stuck on a picture he'd posted that day with a middle aged emoji and terrible photo composition. but god if the pretty face and mussed soft hair doesn't more than make up for it. he looks like he's had nothing but vanilla sex, safe amounts of alcohol and the only excitement in his life is driving F1 cars. which to be fair looks fucking amazing.
but Oscar deserves to get wild sometimes. deserves to get absolutely wrecked. because from what Lando can tell, the guy almost never takes time off unless its to visit his family Australia. if he's not racing then he's in the simulator or he's in meetings or training. and god, the body he has under those team issued clothes. lean and strong in the arms and legs and waist but surprisingly thick and curvy in the ass and pecs. Lando can picture all that pale skin stretched out on his hotel bed, turning pink wherever Lando's big tan hands grope him. how embarrassed he'd get when Lando squeezes an entire pec in his hands and draws a nipple into his mouth. the cute way he'd flush up and probably throw a hand over his eyes when Lando slung each of the boy's knees over his shoulders and gave him a perineum beard burn he'd feel for days.
Lando startles when one of the road crew knocks over an entire bottle of champagne. by the time he looks back at the awkwardly smiling photo of Oscar out in wherever the hell he was, doing testing or whatever, Lando feels almost ashamed about what he has planned for this nerdy kid who clearly has no idea how hot he is.
but when he finally meets Oscar in person and realizes the boy has at least three inches height on him - most of which seems to run in his legs - Lando gives him a sharktooth grin, a thorough once over that has the boy blushing pink, and ignores everything the weird American dude is saying to him.
#inchreplies#momsforfishsticks#lola alert#my fic#(It's not fic obv but filing it there)#ohhhhhhh you made me do this !!! you can't just send me these things and not expect this !!#my writing
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mlm (and not in the gay way) reg, as a treat
Around the age of 21, Sirius gave up all hope that Regulus would ever pull his head out of his ass.
Twenty, they figured, was an age at which one was expected to start thinking for oneself, and though Regulus had always been a bit of a late bloomer, holding onto the false hope that Regulus would ever be the brother they wanted was starting to become more of a burden than anything else. And at 21 Sirius had acquired several things - a lovely boyfriend, a prescription for HRT, a therapist, and a bit of perspective, most notably - that softened the blow of their brother’s rejection. At 26, though they never thought it would be possible, Sirius barely thinks of Regulus anymore, more of a passing thought during the holidays or around his birthday, the lump of resentment and grief smaller each year, something they can sit with and then dismiss with a firm hand.
So when, on the eve of Sirius and Remus’s second wedding anniversary, Sirius receives a follow request on their very private instagram from regulusablack, it comes as rather a shock, enough to make them sit up straight from where they were lounging with their husband on the couch, half-asleep with Keeping Up With the Kardashians on in the background.
“The fuck?”
“Mm?”
Sirius tilts their phone screen so Remus can see, and he makes another soft, confused sound. “Weird.”
“Isn’t it?”
“You gonna accept?”
Sirius pauses, for just a moment. A voice in their head, small but mighty, tells them no. They’ve worked hard over the years to scrub any trace of themselves that their family could track from the internet, only using their private instagram under a vague username, and they like it that way, like the anonymity and the disconnect and the sense of safety that comes with it, even now, when their family can’t really touch them. It’s the control more than anything else, probably, or the need for the freedom to be themself without the constant second thoughts, the anxiety, knowing their family will see.
They click on Regulus’s profile, which is public - scroll through his posts, all awkwardly posed photos of him in suits with a rotating cast of other formally dressed people, some outside of their old church, others at what must be an office or business conferences of some sort. It’s all horribly generic, expected. Sort of soulless. Still, it makes Sirius smile, seeing him grown out of his awkward boyhood into a man, sends a spark of something through his gut.
“Dear god,” Remus says, with a note of amusement in his voice, and Sirius chuckles, scrolling back up to the top and pausing with their finger over the accept follow request button, considering. Everything about this is more than a little suspicious - Regulus seems to have settled into the life that was expected of the both of them, and they were never very close, even as children - Regulus has no real reason to contact them, unless…
Sirius presses accept follow request firmly and sets the phone down next to them, turning to peck Remus on the lips, reveling in his contented hum. A few years ago something like this might have sent them spiraling, but now, with a family of their own with Remus and their dogs, Lily and James and Harry just down the street, the sting of their family’s rejection has faded into a dull ache, a bruise - painful when pressed, but easily soothed.
Sirius hasn’t even gotten Remus’s fly all the way down when their phone lets out a soft ping, and despite themselves they pause to check it, curiosity briefly winning. It’s a DM from Regulus’s account, and they open it.
Hey bro! Hope you’re doing well. Recently I’ve been working towards a promotion, and I’ve got an incredible business opportunity…
Sirius tries to read through the rest of the message, but once they see the phrase more freedom than a 9-5 they break - at first into giggles, then full-on stomach-cramping fist-pounding laughter, dropping their phone onto Remus’s chest so he can read it - which he does, chuckling incredulously.
“Is this - is he trying to recruit you for a pyramid scheme?”
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I need a plus 1
Harry(w2s) x OC
WC: 2K
Warning: cursing
Summery: Alex is going to an event and Harry is out of town, and she's being hit on while she's at the bar.
Circa 2021
SIDEMEN Group chat
A: Who's free on the 7th
T: Not me
Why
E: I have a thing for gymshark
V: I'm visiting my family
A: I have an event and I don't want to go alone 😩
S: I'm out of town
J: me too, Freya and I are going on a weekend trip
T: Is Harry busy that day
A: Yes, he has a family thing
I don't want to go alone
V: then don't go
A: Have to
Its for a sponsor
JJ: what kind of event?
S: you're free but you want to know what kind of event it is before you say yes
A: Its a fashion show with an after party
E: Harry's lacking 🤨
JJ: maybe…
H: 🖕🖕
I tried to cancel on my family but I couldn't
My mum would've killed me
A: True true
I was on the same call
Almost killed me for missing out
JJ: well I'm in 🤷♂️
how much will you give me?
A: Fuck you JJ
I'm going solo
V: lol
I'm screenshoting this and posting it on Twitter
Alex's stans will have your ass JJ
S: YES! Another war between the ur fans
JJ: come on now you know I was joking
A: I don't know, do I?
🤨🤨
JJ: fine
I'm sorry Alex can I come with you please 🙏🏼
A: Oh my god Of course you can JJ I can't belive THE ksi is coming with me 😊
T: you lot are crazy
And thats how JJ ended up being Alex's plus one at the fashion show. Alex dreamed of having a fashion show for her brand one day, to have a runway with models wearing her clothes and everything. She's had launch parties before for her drops but nothing to this scale.
Her and JJ were dressed to the nines, they walked the small red carpet at the event. Posing together and separately. JJ had his arm around her back as he took the role of leading Alex around, always protective of her plus Alex doesn't always do well in big crowds.
The duo had front row seats, they sat next to each other, chatted together and to those next to them, with someone always snapping pictures and videos of the popular YouTubers. Photos were already circulating online, Harry would pop into his Twitter account every now and then to see how they're doing.
“This is weird.” JJ whispered to Alex.
“Yeah, it can be overwhelming sometimes.” Alex said and looked around the room with a smile. “Maybe one day it'll be my show.”
“Its a when, not maybe or if or any of that.” JJ said and squeezed her for a moment, a smile on both their faces.
After everyone was settled the show began, Alex was so focused on the show and models it amused JJ. He took a video of her and you could see her frown a little in focus, but she noticed him and subtlety flipped him off and that had him stifling his laughter.
Over all they had fun and went on to the after party, JJ wasn't drinking due to his training, and Alex doesn't drink that much when she's around a lot of people she doesn't know.
In the mix of people the friends split as they were mingling with people some they knew and far more they didn't know, making connections and networking (forever working). Alex found herself by the bar ordering a cocktail, she was between conversations and her throat was dry from all the talking and laughing, she was looking around as she waited for the bartender to get her order.
“You looking for your boyfriend?” A voice saved, she looked to her left and saw a man she doesn't know, by his accent she knew instantly that he's American.
“My boyfriend?” She was confused by his question, knowing that Harry wasn't in London at all.
“The dude you came with.” He nods to a general direction she presumes JJ is, she laughs lightly, it's been a long while since someone mistaken one of the boys as her boyfriend(there's always speculations online and the odd old person they meet while filming).
“No, JJ's my best friend.” She told him and looked at the bartender, he was finishing some other drinks. One thing about this event: they had far too little staff for the number of people attending.
“Oh, lucky me.” He smirked in what he presumed a sexy move but for Alex was a bit cringe.
“Lucky no one, I hate to say this but I presume you don't know who I am-”
“No, I heard from someone your name’s Alex and you have one of the biggest YouTube channels in the UK.”
Mystery man said, sounding proud of himself, Alex took a deep breath and sighed slowly.
“Ok-ay, you look like a nice lad and everything-”
“Wait don't finish, I was going to ask you anyways, my names Jason, and of course you can have my number-”
“What! No-”
“Better yet we can follow each other on Instagram-”
“Jaso-”
“I'm staying here for a week-”
“Mate shut u-”
“How about we go out for a date?”
“If you'd let her finish, you'd know that she's not interested.” JJ said coming up from behind her protectively, he stood beside her with his shoulder coming up in front of Alex, blocking her a little.
“What? I'm sorry we were having fun, and I think she was about to agree to go on a date with me.” That bastard wouldn't back down or take a hint it seemed even if it was written right in front of him.
“Oh believe me she was about to say no, and you better hope no one noticed or took photos of you annoying her because if that happened, not my fans, not her fans but her boyfriends fans would have your head. And there's a lot of them.” JJ told him sternly, the guy scoffed, took Alex's drink that was just placed down, drowned it and scattered away with his tail between his legs. “Can't leave you for five seconds.”
“What did I do? He was an asshole who wouldn't shut up.” Alex huffed and rolled her eyes.
“I was serious though, about the Harry's fans thing.” JJ said and they both started walking around, doing a final round around the room before they'll leave.
“Its not the fans I'm worried about.” Alex muttered knowing how Harry can get jealous sometimes, he'll kick himself for not coming. He doesn't like these kinds of events anyway, usually Alex goes with one of her friends. Females more than males but this time no one was free to come, but he hates when people hit on her and rightfully so.
***
No one took a picture of what happened, but a video made its way online. You can't hear what's being said but Alex's face says it all, she looks uncomfortable and you can see him cutting her off and how frustrated the female got, she was slightly leaning back as well. Theories were made online, body language experts dissected the short video to bits and Harry's fanbase were pissed. They may have hated Alex when they found out they were dating, but it's been proven that she makes Harry happy and that she's the one for him and thus they became protective of her. Their fan bases are basically one.
Once Harry saw the video on Twitter, he's been tagged over and over again, he called Alex and when she didn't pick up he called JJ.
“It's for you.” JJ said handing Alex the phone, she picks up after seeing her boyfriend's name on the screen.
“Hi.”
“Hey, Lexy.” Harry greeted. “Did you guys leave?”
“Yeah, we're going back to ours, JJ and I will have dinner there.” She informed him, JJ was looking at her expectedly, and he knew why Harry was calling.
“That's fine, that's fine… and are you okay?”
“yeah, I'm fine, we had fun today.” Alex looks at JJ and raises an eyebrow.
“Until someone hit on you I presume.”
“Until someone hit on me and couldn't take a hint.” JJ suppressed a laugh, he was proven right, he couldn't blame Harry, he would've done the same thing. “But don't worry, JJ helped me handle it.”
“Yeah, I saw in the video… I wish I was with you.” Harry's voice lowered a bit.
“It's fine Harry, I mean I would've loved if you'd come but its not your thing and that's fine, we've talked about it before.” Alex tries to comfort her boyfriend.
“I know, I know, I just don't like when someone tries to flirt with you.”
“I get you completely… Look, let's talk about it later okay?”
“Yeah, sure, I'll call you before I go to bed.”
“Okay, love you Harry.”
“Love you too, Lexy.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
“He took it better than I expected.” JJ said taking his phone back, they were closing in on Alex and Harry's place.
“Believe me he's pissed, he's just too far to do anything.”
***
Alex was right. Sort of…
Harry was pissed, he didn't like what happened one bit. And yes he was too far, but with his brother and sister edging him on he did something from his place in Guernsey. He took to his Instagram that he doesn't really post on anymore.
He posted unseen photos of him and Alex in lovey dovey poses and some sexy ones as well, the internet went crazy with this, it was taken as a direct response to what happened that night. And jealous Harry made everyone so happy, the fans LOVED it.
The Sidemen chat was on fire.
E: oh my god bogg!!!
V: wtf have i just seen 😳
T: you lot need jesus 🙏 🙌
JJ: *VN of him laughing hysterically*
J: no one piss Harry off again
S: no
its don't come near Alex again
V: tbh I think fans will try to get him jealous to see more pics like that
E:I need to wash my eyes with holy water
T: why are they not responding
A: Harry's on his way back
And I'm currently hiding in a hole
J: u didn't know he'll post those
A: Fuck no i didn't
Best believe I was surprised when I got a notification from Instagram that he posted smth
JJ: this makes it so much better 😂😂
A: My family is coming for a visit next week 😭😭
S: you're dead
E: no he's dead
Rip to Harry
J: rip
Will u take his shares of sidemen
A:No? I wish
His family I think
V: better get married before he dies then
T: mate have you met Harry 😂
A: You know we started dating when he was 20
its been 5+years since we started dating and my finger is without 💍
J:tell him to hurry up
JJ: that's what Freya has been saying
S: mate you're the last person to talk
A: Anyways pray for us My family group chat is blowing up
S: strategic move from his part to post and then disappear
E: bro knows whats waiting for him
🥲😭
Incoming call
*Harry ❤*
H: Hey
A: Hey
H: I'm 30 minutes from home
A: okay, food will be ready when you arrive
H: thanks
*silence*
H: I'm sorry I posted without telling you, but I couldn't help it, I was pissed off and then Rosie and Josh were egging me on and-and it j-just slipped.
A: Okay I'm ignoring the slipped part, because slipping didn't make you press Instagram and click the post button, choose multiple pictures before posting.
Anyways I'm not mad Harry, I wish you would've given me a heads up, told my family to not look, but I'm 100% not mad.
H: thank god, I thought you'd be mad at me
A: If I was, I wouldn't make your favourite food.
H: you're an angel
A: say that after we see my family next week.
H: can't we cancel
A: no can do, they're in London for a wedding, and they'll come over to our house… you can come late or something but you have to see them.
H: I'm scared to open your brothers texts
A: me too
H: open them together?
A: definitely
H: see you in abit love
A: see you my green boyfriend
H: come on n-CLICK
#sidemen#sidemen imagine#sidemen one shot#harry lewis x oc#harry lewis one shot#harry lewis imagine#harry le2is#w2s x oc#w2s imagine#w2s one shot#w2s#harry w2s#sidemen 8th member#8th member
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My redneck neighbor Doug on Tech's Looks
(Me: "Doug, so you know, a lot of people are unhappy that the Bad Batch was made to be lighter then the regs. It's a hot topic."
Doug: "Well, here's my theory on the matter. I hope the kids on the Internet (his words for Tumblr) don't get too spicy over this. It's all in good fun. I hope it makes 'em smile and think a bit.")
After having a firm, peer-reviewed discussion (and by that, I mean endless texts with Doug) it has been concluded that Tech has lighter skin and hair, and a slimmer build, due to the Kaminoans leaning harder into the hillbilly part of Jango Fett’s genes, whereas the regs got the nicer, prettier, more amenable genes.
In short, Tech looks the way he does…because he is a blue-collar white guy from the American South.
A Florida redneck, specifically.
And let me (by way of Doug) tell you: rednecks do not have beautiful tans, flawless fades, snatched waists, muscular thighs, diamond-sharp cheekbones, the ability to follow directions, or perfect matching armor, all of which a reg has.
(Sorry, Howser, go back to guarding Ryloth or posing for GQ or whatever it is you do.)
Back to Tech. Look at that man and tell me the shit he gets up to would not be constantly at the top of r/floridaman
A lot of people might clutch their pearls, and be shocked at this revelation.
“He has a fancy accent! He’s persnickety about certain things! He’s my fancy pretty boi and I’m going to dress him up in a gold thong in my fan art!”
You do you, kid. But let Doug and his neighbor here, Dr. Meat Muffin, defend this deranged argument, here. Using anthropological research applying autoethnographic methodologies that they conducted independently at one point.
(By that, we mean that Doug is from the bayous of Louisiana and has lived in the Florida Panhandle before moving Up North. Dr. MM attended graduate school in a redneck hot zone, lived in said redneck hot zone for a while, and married a Texan as well. Hook 'em gig 'em and wreck 'em)
After all, if you want an army to win over the galaxy and work with the Jedi, you want well-mannered, shiny, handsome men with melanin and agreeable personalities.
You do not want a pale-assed weirdo in jeans and a receding hairline who can’t get off his phone to work closely with orphaned space wizards.
Tech’s an anarchic Floridian piece of tornado bait and that’s why he look the way he do, says Doug.
Here's why Doug says Tech is a Redneck:
Mandalorians are Space Rednecks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trx7fDdlIo0. I do not own the rights to the video, but my God, it is perfection. A masterpiece. Mandalorians are rednecks in space, who end up colonizing Space Florida, no questions asked. Our theory is Tech is merely the concentrated, Waffle House-fistfighting, chew-dipping, Mountain Dew chugging, part of that. The Kaminoans just leaned into the trailer park part of Jango Fett hard when designing Tech, because no one can fix cars while shooting a gun and yelling at his crazy brothers like a redneck (more on that below).
Hell, all of the Bad Batch are different brands of Florida Man:
Grizzled long haired tan guy with skull tattoo, obsessed with tracking, knife fighting, and hiding from normal society? Hunter.
Bald tanned dude with weird scars who loves blowing shit up and screaming for no reason? Wrecker
Pale, freaked out man who was kept in a cult’s closet for years? Echo
Creepy, old, Second Amendment loving white guy with a gun themed tattoo who can’t seem to die? Crosshair
Maladjusted orphan left behind at a bar by her inexperienced caretakers and almost drowns in the ocean? Omega
His love of vehicles: We never see Tech whip out a manual to fix anything. The man says it’s because he has an exceptional mind, but that’s edging dangerously close to “Ah don’t need no schoolin’, hoss, I can fix any Ford!”. Doug thinks it’s just because Tech loves playing with car parts, which is some grade A, hillbilly tomfoolery. And what is more redneck than some white guy ripping apart a vehicle in the dirt while the rest of his family bitches at each other in the heat? It happened right here in Season 2 (this exact scenario has played out many-a-time in Pensacola, trust me). All they need is some Lynyrd Skynyrd blasting in the background to make the picture complete.
His clothing color scheme: “Oh, no!” you wail. “He just changed his colors to reflect Mandalorian heritage!”
WRONG.
Tech’s redneckery is blatant here, because his colors switch from
Hot Topic goth to…UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA.
“We’re loyal to each other,” says Hunter. And by that, he means the Gators, beloved of many an NCAA following redneck in the Sunshine State and beyond. Orange and Blue, indeed.
Notice how we first see him in these colors, is while he’s parked his stolen work vehicle on a beach while his brothers are busy being chased by huge-ass crabs as their sister is quietly fishing?!
This is PEAK FLORIDA MAN.
Tech was probably trying to get ESPN+ to work on the Marauder, because the Devil works hard, but the SEC works harder during football season. I wonder if he has a tattoo of Tim Tebow on his buttcheek.
His home is his car: Tech, as well as his unemployed brothers and underaged sister who the cops are looking for (how trashy is THAT sentence), live in the Havoc Marauder now that their home was destroyed in a fire fight with the government.
("Jesus Christ, this argument just writes itself now, don’t it," -Doug)
This attack shuttle, for all intents and purposes, is a stolen work truck that they live in. It’s filled with posters of guns, as well as other weapons and explosives, and has all the comfort of a Jacksonville gas station at 2 AM. All you need is some cigarette burns on the fender and some empty take out bags from Bojangles and it might as well be parked down by the river in Suwannee County. Just Florida redneckery. Speaking of which….
He loves guns and explosions: Won’t go into detail, but the man knows how to use multiple pistols, rifles, and different tactile maneuvers with glee. Tech’s only notable complaint regarding explosions is making sure Wrecker’s new fancy boom-booms aren’t parked next to his bunk. And the look of calm joy when his sister tells his brother ‘Do some damage, Wrecker!’ as Tech pulls a Bo Duke and flings his vehicle across a locked up work site, while his deranged brother giggles and fires some guns at a government-owned power plant from the back seat. PURE. UNADULTERATED. REDNECK.
He’s a racer: It is a fact (with peer reviewed research) that rednecks really, really love them some racing. NASCAR, motocross, BMX, you name it. And if you’ve seen ‘Faster’, well, that’s all you need to know about the man.
He has no fear of large animals: We’ve never seen him hunt, but Tech knows how to distract massive amounts of nasty animals using light, and the first response to seeing a terrifying monster isn't running away screaming, but whispering ‘FASCINATING’., before, ya know, firing a gun at it. It’s one step away from ‘IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US’. You KNOW that man would be sponsoring gator wrasslin' contests if he could.
His actions towards His family: This is where Tech truly differentiates himself from the typical ‘geek’ character and leans hard into King of the Hill territory. Whereas a normal nerd character might nag and panic when his sister falls down a hole while drilling for explosives in a cave (dear God Doug, how much more redneck examples can you keep pointing out, I’m exhausted), Tech merely YEETS HIMSELF down into the abyss. Or when his brother picks a fight in the mess hall? Does Tech run away, or just start punching people like it's past closing time in the Applebee's parking lot in Daytona and the Dolphins lost? And let's not discuss the season finale :(. Rednecks are some loyal folks, family first, and that’s our man’s right there.
There you have it, says Doug. Tech isn’t lighter because he’s better than the regs. The opposite.
You can not be a deranged, adrenaline filled, sassy, goggled weirdo flying throughout space and blowing shit up and not be pale AF with twiggy legs and a receding hairline that’s edging towards Hunter S. Thompson level, born out of America's Sunshine state while a hurricane chases you out.
::turns up ZZ Top::
#tbb#the bad batch#tech the bad batch#my neighbor doug#star wars theories#cajun doug#doug does star wars#thebadbatch#clone force 99#redneck doug#rednecks in space#mandalorians#white washing#florida man#tech is florida man#guys i don't believe any of this#please don't hurt me#doug why#doug if the internet comes for me i know where you live
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I accidentally stumbled upon some Spider-man 2099 comics and since I can't watch across the spiderverse in theatres (photosensitivity sucks) and Miguel O'Hara has become a constant presence on my dash/home in almost literally every social I have I decided to give it a go and see who this guy is and why is the internet so obsessed with him all of a sudden
I wrote down some notes while I was reading so here we go. Xenon reacts to Spider-man 2099
It's giving me a loooot of cyberpunk and blade runner vibes from here and ngl I dig it
I already notice the suit is a little different but not too much? The spikes in the forearms here are less noticeable at least. And I didn't remember ever seeing the webbing
I love this pose
Oh my god this is so me fr fr
PFFTDHFS I MADE A LOUD SNORT ok I like this guy
He seems like that type of 90s savage-edgy-I-hate-everyone guy, so far considering the context he's kinda funny
I don't know how much they've changed about his backstory in atsv so I'm writing it all down as it's told in the comics
So his father was a scientist working for this Alchemax and the corporation kinda groomed both since they were children to become their top tier geneticists and work for them. They've invested a lot on Miguel and they use it to have a hold on him, since he's the only guy not addicted to the Rapture which is a very nasty and genetically bound (?) drug only Alchemax is allowed to distribute.
The corporations is running genetic experiments to enhance human abilities and all of that using animals as source, the latest project was an attempt to replicate what happened to Spider-Man in ma marketable way
Except they've become pretty savage with it and started doing experiments on humans (starting with criminals) BEFORE it's confirmed to be safe. And the last one miserably failed (or grandiosely succeeded, depending on the point of view - the guy actually came back with super strength and all of that but he was a heavily disfigured mutant who tired to strangle O'Hara and died short after).
So Miguel said fuck this shit I'm out
(cw: drugs from there on)
... Except they poisoned his drink with a dose of Rapture and how he's screwed. "oh no worries Miguel we're not forcing you to stay" my ass.
fucking bastardssssssssss
FUCKING BASTARDSSSS
honestly though "rapture" as a name choice is sooooo 90s. I remember reading Infinity Crusade (1993) a few months ago and there too they made a big deal about something they called "the rapture". And goddess and holiness and penitence and sinners and REPENTTTT and other overly Christian stuff like demons that was littering everything I've read from that time (which is just all the Moon Knight stuff that got out in that period but-)
the satanic panic hit hard huh
So anyway if Miguel doesn't do anything to fight this rapture thing he's royally screwed and forced to keep working on them
So he remembers that for lab tests he was using his own genetic material so he's got a full backup of it pre-rapture and he's planning to use the machines at the lab to overwrite the changes the drug made
sound good to me, quite a solid plan
Except this guy, who Miguel insults regularly on daily basis, decides to take his petty vengeance switching the "clean" O'Hara backup with the one they're experimenting with for the spider project.
Well this is fine
AND ON TOP OF THAT HE'S TRYING TO SHIFT THE BLAME ON HIM
also naked Miguel O'Hara gents, you're welcome
Uh-oh
IT'S MORBING TIME
honestly I know vampires were massively popular in the 90s and it's kinda obvious they wanted to ride that wave and use the aesthetics to appeal to vampire fans and-
works for me
also how do those claws work? It feels a bit weird to see both nails AND claws, sort of like when you realise centaurs have 2 ribcages. Bit more redundant though, would've made more sense if he'd lost his original nails. Oh well.
He's me when I'm at my parents' house and my mother throws me out of my bed on Sunday morning at 8ish because THE EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE WORM DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE SLEPT ENOUGH and I'm just left there confused af trying to figure out where I am, when I am, what day and year this is and what's exactly happening in my life
MOOD
big eh for the sexualised hologram house assistant, ok it's the 90s and it's a thing of the genre and all of that but I've read too many papers about sociological consequences of female-coded robots or assistants (in short: encourages closely associating the slave/servant role to women and it ends up affecting real women too. it's bad bad) to not be judging this very hard
His first thoughts about them claws was going to the bathroom and picking his nose, so valid of him
honest to god if I had claws I'd be constantly fidgeting with them pressing the fingertip to make them come out like you do with cats.
That's it for part 1, I will probably make a part 2 when I continue reading them
Honestly they suffer a bit from being born in the 90s but I'm enjoying them so far and I like the character. If he hasn't changed too much in the movie then ok I get it now
#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 comics#miguel o'hara#xenon reacts#partially described#I started full of good intentions but some panels were Too Much to describe#I might get back at it later / at stages#cw: drugs
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Yeah so I decided to update Susan's ref sheet because oh my god it's so fucking ugly-
But yeah, I'm much more satisfied with this one because I've developed my style for drawing these fuckers a lot better and the pose radiates more personality.
Old ref: https://www.tumblr.com/magewolf-the-artist/743345425139040256/on-this-episode-of-walten-files-brainrot-heyyyyyy?source=share
Here's her bio with a couple add-ons:
Apparently she's British (Her accent is still a mystery to me but I've seen a couple people say this so ehhhh). So my headcanon is that her family immigrated to the US when she was four, so while she does have an accent, she doesn't really say any slang. Occasionally she might call someone a twit (affectionate) or a twat (derogatory), but that's about it.
At some point during her fun little maze adventure, the neck cables that held up the animatronic head snapped due to the constant pressure of Susan's broken ass neck forcing her head to loll to the side. While at the facility she found that she can use metal ties to hold the cables upright. She has to tighten them constantly though or else her vision will be forced into portrait mode
Ashley fixed the cable while she, Kevin, and Hilary were there and Susan is forever grateful to her
She probably accidently breaks it again through something stupid like bumping her head against the door frame or something and boy oh boy was she PISSED
On that topic, she tries her best to upkeep her and everyone else's bodies but there's only so much she can do with limited tools and slightly worse motor skills (imagine doing a task that requires very precise movements through winter gloves and you'll pretty much get the idea)
She refuses to repair Bon though and tells him to figure it out himself.
She's become way more snappy, short tempered, and easily frustrated after her death. Trauma, baby!
Susan kinda acts as a shoulder to vent to whenever anyone needs to talk. She can’t really offer much in response or comfort since A, she’s the type to push things away and compartmentalize, and B… well, she can’t exactly promise everything’s gonna be okay, now can she? Still, sometimes it’s nice to just talk
Some days though she just kinda… shuts down emotionally. Just kinda lays on the floor and can’t find any motivation to get up or do anything. Thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, staring blankly into space
Charles usually stays with her during these episodes and depending on the day, he either just sits with her quietly or rambles about random shit like he did when they were alive
Her sleep schedule was super fucked up when they all came to the facility because she was used to being up and around at night. It's gotten better but she still sometimes wakes up buttfuck early and has come to appreciate the serenity of the nights (RETCONNED)
Probably the most casual about her death, as opposed to Rosemary's crying and Charles desperately trying to change the subject
She walks with a very distinctive shuffle, something she picked up from her fun little maze adventure because the weird shuffle walk helped lessen the pain she put herself through and conserved energy. It used to be a lot more pronounced but it's faded slightly overtime
Usually hangs out with Charles
Is constantly exasperated by Charles' antics
To pass the time she either plays card games with Charles or organizes the tools in the maintenance closet
She tried to talk to Rosemary when they were first brought to the K-9 facility but only got silence in return. She's kinda just given up now and mostly leaves her alone
Is the most familiar with Bon's abilities and didn't even bother trying to escape the facility because she knew it was futile
Helps coach everyone but Rocket on how to move
When helping Ashley figure out to move she probably made an off-handed comment like, "if you think that's hard, imagine having to learn how to do this while being alive" and only realized Ashley had no context for that when she gave her a very confused and worried look
Hates Bon's guts and is usually annoyed/angry with him
She also hates Felix's guts, but everyone does so it's not anything special.
#the walten files#walten files#susan woodings#twf fanart#twf banny#twf susan#the walten files fanart#Domestic K-9
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GOING FERAL GOING STUPID WE CAN BE SPECIFIC LET'S GOOO
Okay could. I order a fic with The Spot who met the Reader via LITERALLY FALLING INTO THEIR HOUSE. Entered their universe and fell directly into the livingroom. Thing that sets this universe apart? It's a universe where people have wings! Reader is based on a cockatiel, grey wings with a white patch! Either first time meeting or maybe reader asks him to help preen their wings? Gender neutral!! Tysm I love being specific grgrgrgrrggr <333
the spot falls into winged readers home !
RAGAHAGSGAHAGGRRAGR GRGGRRAGAGRG i’m foaming at the mouth *leans on expensive car* heyyyy 🤭 I FUCKING LOVE WINGS GRGAGRGAHRA ok rq, im an artist and also just obsessed with wings and i curse god everyday that we didn’t evolve with them, i instil the fear of god into people when i explain accurate anatomy if people had wings and actually could fly cause there are characteristics you need like hollow bones and all the muscles that go into functioning arms- you’ve unleashed something powerful, okami
please . talk to me about this . if you would like to . *poses in front of expensive house*
warnings: none, i may rant throughout about wings im sorry
pairing: the spot x gn!reader
requests: refer to the masterlist
★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧
imagine ur surprise when a black hole suddenly opened up in your house and a guy fell through it ! how strange !
your wings fiercely tense up in an intimidating way while you watch the strange figure fumble to stand up, despite being on solid ground it looks like he has sea legs
“Oh- oh god, I am *so* sorry,” he’s baffled himself, as he puts it: “i’m still getting used to my holes”
aren’t we all 😪
it’s takes him a little while to notice all the subtle differences in your home to the typical house in his dimension; the way that doors are taller and there’s a lot more accommodation to winged individuals, which he then noticed you are
you see that weird hole in his face narrow as he studies you from a distance, like a true scientist
i think he’d be really interested in your wings at first, from a scientific view
asking you all sorts of questions while slowly backing out of the room “I like your wings, by the way! they’re very.. anatomically correct”
he’s clearly intrigued, but also trespassing and he truly didn’t mean to
depending on your own response depends on his urgency
“Wow! that’s great- is everyone here like that or is it some kind of mutation? It doesn’t matter, let me get out of your wings- hair!” the whole time he’s doing all of these wild gestures with his hands while his long ass legs carry him towards the exit, his joints stiff while he attempts to evade a confrontation
“They’re very beautiful,” is the last off handed thing he says before pulling your door open to leave your house
now, if society is accommodated to a civilisation of people with wings, there may very well be a very large drop from you home that most people can easily pass over with wings
but spot doesn’t have those
cue him almost plummeting to his death ? but a hole opens up and it open right back into your home, resulting in spot falling into your living space once again
“Oh, would you look at that! trespassing, again!” he curls in on himself in a very pathetic way before getting up again (ily spot)
you’ve just kinda tolerated his presence while all this goes down
but i don’t think you guys are new to the whole stranger danger thing, so you don’t befriend spot immediately
but imagine this becomes a stupidly common occurrence throughout the weeks
every once in a while, he drops by and each time you get a little more tolerant of him, he’s a little funny and also silly
you eventually get on name basis, and you can see he’s getting better at controlling his holes
sometimes he literally just drops through one hole and falls straight through the other, it’s a very short exchange
“hi y/n” and he’s gone
but say it’s ever gotten to the stage where you guys are actually equated, he may one day fall into your home while you’re struggling to preen your own wings
an honest struggle, not a chance i could stretch far enough w my bones popping at minor movement
he’s even started to land on his feet sometimes, and he’s very proud of himself
“ta-da!” he lands, arms outstretched while he still stumbled a little
“oh, are you preening?” most genuinely interested and curious tone ever
he approaches like a fucking rat, a little hunched over with his arms mimicking a t-rex
you can decide how significant your wings are, if they’re a big part of ur culture and ur a bit reluctant to let spot touch them
which i honestly think he’ll respect
“oh, nono! it’s okay,” will keep his distance but now is stood a little awkwardly
but if you’re chill with him touching your wings, man’s thrilled
might whisper something silly like “oo, science!” as he approaches with an outstretched hand
and hey, if you go the extra step further and let him preen you, go ahead
does he know what he’s doing ? no, and he’s confident he’ll fuck it up somehow
please show him and/or give him instruction that include when to breath and blink please
admittedly is staring more at how your wings connect to your back more than anything else, he’s very intrigued in your anatomy
would never say that out loud, dear god
but once you’ve given him instructions, he’s on that shit pretty attentively
he’s a scientist, he’ll figure it out
it’s a sight and a half though, it looks like monkeys grooming each other lmao
★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧
i genuinely think of a reality all of the time where society had wings and relied on that for travel instead of cars n shit- would we need a licence to fly out in public like dbz ? would the type of wings you have be native to the birds from the place you were born, are the genes recessive from your parents n shit- how disability would be handled and how things would be accessible to people who can’t fly im going insane
i shit you not my spidersona has a few concepts, he’s a character i’ve had for a little while from an mnm campaign- he’s a mutant that has accurate bird mutations so tail feathers and wings and i thought it might have been too cliche for me to like say “he’s spiderman in a dimension where society evolved to have wings!” and it felt mary sue and i was afraid so i took his beautiful wings away hem hem whimper
#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#headcanon#ask#imagine#oneshot#the spot spiderverse#the spot x reader#the spot#the spot x y/n#the spot x gn reader
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Streamer!Honey Headcanons Pt.4
First Part Next Part
It’s been over a month I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 it’s here now, and there are some things that didn’t make it into this post, but that just means more parts!
—
Guy started showing up on stream more often than he did in chat. Though, to protect his privacy, he wears sunglasses and a face mask.
Every time he seems to have a different set.
A face mask with a smiley face, or maybe it's rainbow colored, or (his favorite) a pizza pattern. Sometimes he wears one that is plain black with a small heart in the middle (honey likes to kiss the heart but not on stream ofc).
As for the glasses, I made this post talking about those ;w;
Every time he buys a new pair Honey has to go in and change out the lenses for darker ones so no one can see his eyes. They are very particular with Guy staying anonymous, they care about his safety more than they care about anything.
And unless he's willing to carry pepper spray and a pocket knife with him while he works, he is not allowed to show his face.
He loves how protective honey is, he thinks it's the cutest damn thing.
—
The first time he showed himself, he and Honey had planned it beforehand. In the middle of their stream, he knocked on the door.
Honey made a big show of faking a dramatic gasp, and saying "whoever could that be??"
They open the door, and Guy steps in like 💃💃
"Oh my god, is that the Guy??"
Guy T-poses, "it is I, The Guy."
Chat lost their shit.
MY BOY ITS HE
GUY REVEAL [NOT CLICKBAIT] *EMOTIONAL*
Oh my 😳😳
HOT DAMN
loOK AT [HONEY'S] SMILE IM FUCKING SWOONING
beautiful beutiful butiful BETTYFUL BOOOOOYYYYYY
WHY HE DANCING LIKE THAT
DAMN HE GOT CAKE
Guy had quite the ego boost after that…
—
Sometimes while sitting next to them on camera he'll slowly start to lower his face mask just so Honey will hold his face "to keep the mask on".
♡♡♡♡♡♡
Honey looks to their right to see Guy eyeing them while slowly lowering the face mask. They roll their eyes and huff, practically throwing their controller onto the desk in front of them. They take Guy's face in their hands, squishing his cheeks, and give him a hard glare.
It goes on for a few seconds, Honey's intense gaze boring through him. They lean a bit closer and their forehead presses against his, never breaking eye contact.
"Stop doing that shit," they say in a low voice that makes Guy's knees feel weak. "Please," they add quietly, and all he can do is nod.
—
The fanart increased, and this time it wasn't weird because people had more of an idea as to what Guy looked like.
Guy still thinks it's adorable, and he has taken to finding ways to share this incredible art with the world in many ways.
He likes to print out the pictures and hang them on the fridge.
He calls the people in chat his children.
Or, at least, he did until they started calling him daddy…
Now they're just his chaos squad.
—
Guy made a second Instagram account to post on without showing his face (as if he ever even posts on his personal acc)
His stories are… interesting
First there's a picture of a grasshopper he found outside with the caption "look at this dood", then you see a really blurry photo with the caption "ASGFKDGFGSJ HALP ITS EVIL".
He posts little videos of Honey 🥺
They're chilling on the couch, their legs draped over Guy's, and he turns the camera towards them with a cat face filter.
Honey makes eye contact with the camera and sticks their tongue out a little bit anD THAT LIL BLEP WITH THE DOODLE CAT EARS AND WHISKERS WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE GUY FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM ALL OVER AGAIN
Before the video cuts off you can hear him make a little gasp and the caption is "I love them"
Fans think this confirms their relationship until they see Honey's story has a video of Guy in the kitchen humming the macarena—and half ass dancing to it—while making pizza rolls with the caption "if there was a zombie apocalypse, he would die first", and it makes them think maybe not…
—
Ever since Guy's debut, he joins chat less often (much to their disappointment), but what Honey doesn't know is that this was all part of an elaborate plan cooked up by none other than their menace of a boyfriend.
He wanted to spoop them. That's a harmless little prank, right?
WRONG
Honey has the most VIOLENT reactions when they get scared, you DO NOT want to be on the receiving end.
But nooooo, Guy just wants to be a little shit.
♡♡♡♡♡♡
Honey was playing The Mortuary Assistant. It's one of the few games that actually scares them from time to time, because of how unpredictable it is.
It was quiet, Honey wasn't really talking with chat. They were invested, double checking everything to make sure they were burning the right body.
Chat was basically left unsupervised, like a small child lost in the McDonald's play place.
Why do the feet have jiggle physics
✨realism✨
wouldnt the bodies be stiff tho? rick-a-morris or something?
RICK A MORRIS?!?!??!?
It's rigamortis, sweetheart
Ihatethisgameihatethisgame
EW EW NO GET THAT LIPLESS NO EYELID HAVIN ASS OFF MY SCREEN
WHY IS IT NAKED
Boy out here looking like salad fingers 🥗☝️👅👅
I’d smash ngl
Hi [Honey] <3 hope you're having a good day xoxo
That does not look like salad fingers
🌝✨rUstY💫🌚 💦🦴spOOnS🦠🥄
Baby girl got some mommy issues 😘💝😚
Lmao same 🤣😂😆
R u ok?
No :')
Can't have mommy issues if you never had a mom 😝😝
PLEASE-
Y r u joking abt this?? 😢😢
Where are the therapist people in chat?
Laughter is the best medicine ☺️☺️❤️
There they are
Alright, now everyone say 5 positive things about yourself
No
What if we don't?
I SAID 🔫🔫🔫 EVERYONE SAY 5 POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF🔫🔫🔫
HoneysHeaven: hello :)
Still no
GUY
GUY
MY GUUYY
BABY BOY BABY
HELLO 👋👋👋👋👋
HE HAS RISEN
GUY
PRAISE JUGULAR
HoneysHeaven: shh 🤫
EEEE
shh?
Ooh we be sneaky now
Y shh?
HoneysHeaven: everyone keep [honey] distracted I'm gonna spook them >:)
OOOH OK OK
SHHHHH
Oops
Pranky time 😈😈😈
Spoopy scary skeletons
Go Guy Go
On camera, you can see Guy verrry carefully open the door. He sneaks in, ever so gracefully, only tripping over himself a maximum of two times.
Despite his few hiccups, he managed to get in without Honey noticing (somehow)
Y'know that meme picture of Jason Momoa sneaking up on Henry Cavill? Yeah, that's what it looks like right now.
Honey was in the middle of a sentence when Guy pounced on them.
He wrapped his arms around them from behind and went, "BOO!"
Honey yelped and swung an arm behind them.
They've never had any training, but like… they've got a pretty damn good right hook…
They punched Guy in the face.
He fell to the ground, holding his nose, and laughed out a groan in pain.
JESUS FVCKING CHRIST
NOOOOOOOO
LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣
GUY NO HIS FACE IS BROKEN
I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA 😭😭😭
Honey immediately realized what they'd done and a hand flew over their mouth. They were kneeling next to Guy within seconds.
They cupped his face, "holy shit, are you okay!? Let me see-"
Guy's glasses had been punched off his face, but since he was on the floor, Chat couldn't see.
He had tears in his eyes though he was laughing and saying he was fine.
Honey felt so fucking bad.
"No, Honey, I'm fine really. You don't have to- no! Oh noo, Honey don't cry!"
They weren't crying, they were just… teary.
A lot just happened all at once. They got scared, and they punched their boyfriend in front of around 200k people, and they're pretty sure his nose is broken. Leave them alone.
Guy pulled off his face mask, revealing his bruised, bloody nose. Yeah. That's broken.
Honey's eyes were full of so much guilt, you'd think they murdered someone's puppy.
They did.
Their puppy.
They said sorry so many times, they sounded like a broken record. They held Guy, with their face buried in the crook of his neck, mumbling apologies, before finally coming to their senses and turning off the stream to take Guy to the hospital.
He wasn't mad at them. Of course he wasn't.
But Honey was mad at themself, because how could they ever hurt Guy like that!?
He insisted it was fine, that he understood it was a reflex, and that he shouldn't have scared them (because he knows they react violently).
Regardless, Honey sucked up to him so much while his nose was healing, let me tell you.
They babied him, they coddled him, they waited on him hand and foot.
Guy hated that they felt so guilty, but he was getting so much love and affection, so…
He wasn't even that badly hurt, these two are just dramatic
—
After that little fiasco, Guy's account now has a special alert to let Honey know that he's in chat (so he doesn't go do something stupid like that again).
At first the sound was a little ding noise, but then Guy changed it.
Now it starts playing the jaws theme.
#i know this wasnt as interesting as the other parts T^T im sorry#these were the things i was able to write down while off my meds#but since im back on them hopefully part five will have some more fun stuff#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted headcanons#redacted honey#redacted guy#redacted pizza guy#redacted streamer!honey#redacted fanfic
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Imagine everyone in genshin could physically see when you lag. Collecting some sunsettia then my ping sky rockets to 999 and im frozen for a good minute in the middle of doing an attack 😭
SOB bro ive gotten caught in some DOWNRIGHT SILLY lags before- i would pass away if they saw that
Esp since i get them stuck then just start laughing my ass off 💀
This gif took me out this is so funny 😭 i had to put it here LMAO
I accidentally made Venti jump on top of a Aranara house when I was first exploring Sumeru and did that "flying in the air/jumpin down pose" but just. Through a palm leaf, he's just fluttering in the wind it was painfully ironic 😭
BRO
BRO
Bro.
What if u were isekaied to Genshin but it still has game rules, and so now ur like a character too,
SO U CAN ALSO LAGGGG STOPPP 😭😭😭
I would constantly be omw to the Backrooms 💀
Glitching thru magic shit bc im inpatient and wanna hurry (lagged myself thru some domain steps once)
OH MY GOD-
IF THEYRE AWARE
OF EVEN JUST YOU LAGGING THEIR BODIES
DUDE 😭
So this is unrelated to lag shit, but Ive just done so much silly ass things in game that they would find just as funny or dumb 💀
♤
So, When i first started Genshin I was on some Shit.
I had only rlly played one or two open world games before, and even then not for a long time, so I just like did the stupidest things
I was fighting in those early domains in Mondstadt right, and I had just gotten to the cutscene with Lisa and Traveler, I think thats all who were there
And I had just finished the last battle in the chamber, so I had just deployed Baron Bunny from Amber but killed the monsters before it could go off-
SO IN THE MIDDLE OF LISA TALKING- JUST AN EXPLOSION HAPPENS STAGE LEFT OFF SCREEN AND INTERUPTS HER LMFAO
I LITERALLY APOLOGIZED TO LISA I WAS CRYING LAUGHING SO HARD
(no pls dont make her aware of that for me she would bully me forever)
I FELT LIKE I WAS JUST CAUSING THESE CHARACTERS PROBLEMS RIGHT OFF THE BAT LMAO
◇
And I also didnt know about boss monsters yet (i didnt watch anyone play genshin/know where or what they were lol goin in blindfolded essentially)
So im running around Mond. and I start fighting a Cryo whopperflower for a little while, im not high level yet, and deadass MID SWORD SWING-
I GLITCH THRU A TINY CRACK IN THE ROCKS BC ITS OPEN ON THE TOP RIGHT??!! SO IT WAS JUST SOLID GROUND TO ME AND IM JUST FALLING-??!!
AND THEN I LAND MY ASS THE GIANT CRYO FLOWER REGISVINE AND I STG IT LAGGED AND WAITED FOR A MINUTE BEFORE IT STARTED MOVING LIKE IT WAS CONFUSED TOO-
AND ITS LEVEL IS LIKE IN THE RED
AND THE FALL KILLED AETHER (which I also didnt know could happen 😭TRAUMA) SO I JUST SUDDENLY HAVE AMBER OUT- !!??
BRO THAT WHOLE SITUATION MADE ME THINK I HAD ANGERED THE TINY FLOWER SO BAD IT JUST BECAME HUGE-
I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING AT MY SCREEN "AMBER FUCK RUNNNN OH GOD AETHER'S DEAD???!! "
BC I WAS LIKE LEVEL 14 VS. ITS LEVEL 36
Talk about an all-knowing creator god 😭😭
Thatd be so embarassing if they remembered that 💀 aether would literally bring it up all the time to get to me
AMBER WOULD PITY ME AND HAVE SYMPATHEY NOO
♧
Then later on in Liyue, theres a chest underneath these guard statues hidden by a bush right? And one of those Geoculus star things too, and i have my compass out trying to find all the Geoculuses(?)
And Im like, " ok towards the statue??"
THEN I JUST PLUMMET- AND I IMMEDIATELY INSTINCTIVELY LIKE, SO HEARTBROKEN AND DISTRESSED SOUNDING "nOPLEASENOTAGAIN- oh, ohhh my godd" my heart was racinggg i literally sighed and I sat there for a minute breathin heavy 😭😭
My team wouldve had a heart attack and field day with me doin shit like that, theyd be like
"This our god? This you?"
Aether has so much blackmail on me 🥲
☆
If I had a mora for everytime I fell on a boss monster in Genshin Impact, I would have 3 mora.
Which isn't a lot of mora, but it's weird that it happened three times.
Cheers,
💀♒️
(we updated the logo bc im stupid and didnt realize i couldve been typing that the whole time)
♡the beloveds♡
Srry figure it was close enough id tag yall anyway
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist
#i was an absolute ignorant MENACE when i started genshin#so confused#but charged in anyway#i think the other two bosses I fell on was#somehow?? the geovishap TERRIFYING 0/10 EXPERIENCE#and one of cubes maybe#like I fell from above#off a cliff 💀#thank fuck Andrius and the Oceanid are activated ones bc i deadass#walked into their areas and was like#Ooo pretty#nice light eyes in wolvendom ya got here :)#and just swam around Oceanids area like#yay water 💀#genshin impact#genshin sagau#my replies#zombie aquarius#genshin imagines#genshin isekai#genshin sagau ideas
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JELL YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS RANDOM LORE ON THE FLOOR AND RUN AWAY!! TELL US MORE PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU
If this is about the Peppino clone theory then alright, buckle up cheesebags
First of all it's a theory and a headcanon, not lore, I don't want anyone acting like what I'm saying is canon 😭
BUT ANYWHO
I just thought it's weird that Peppino supposedly has never seen the tower in his life before or he has but he gets no association with it BUT he is plastered all over the posters, graffiti, boxes, etc in the background like he was part of the team. There's even like toys and robots designed after his scrumptious physique.
Next there's his malleability. I know this is a cartoon world with cartoon logic but alllll I'm saying is why doesn't Gus have that same whackiness? It's all mostly Brick doing the comedy. The most we have to Gus deforming his body was during the double jump where he turns into a ball.
Peppino on the other hand? Turned to cheese, turned to a pizza, turned to a puppet, able to handle being in the front of a rocket, his body contorts during exaggeration of poses, way faster on foot than a rat etc.
He is just as cartoon character as the residents of the tower compared to the human levels of the outsiders like Gus and Stick. I mean yes, Gus can have exaggerated body parts but he is never as exaggerated as Peppino is
Next reason, the WAR level and the very confusing and retconned implication of what Peppino did.
Some say it was canon that he was an actual veteran, some say he was technically not a soldier but a pizza delivery guy for the soldiers, and some say he accidentally wound up in the crossfires.
Other than the war setting, the level, for zero reason or explanation, transitioned to a laboratory with clones of Peppino and the big ass tube in the bg has Pillar John in it. Cloning is not new to the tower but by god are they SHIT AT IT
Also here's a little intermission because I just LOOOOOVE this one tube in the bg so much
it's so stupid, he looks like he wanna die and he isn't even born yet, that's how you know you're getting a Peppino variant njsngjksrkj
but anwyay back to topic
I'm pretty sure we all think that the WAR level is the tower's last attempt at getting rid of Peppino by making a horrendous cheap move with making him relive his trauma. I love that take so much man, to think that the tower is this desperate because Peppino is SO CLOSE to destroying it that it didn't even have Pizza Time but a constantly ticking timer.
It makes sense with the war part of the level. That is clearly a traumatic event but then it turned to a lab which gets confusing.
I kinda stitched the two together and made them two different memories. The first one came from the original person the clones are based off and the other is Peppino's. I like to think that Faker and Peppino are opposites lol. Peppino has the perfectly structured body but not the mental stability while Faker is smart as hell despite being animalistic with a constantly shambling body. They're sorta the best ones to come out of the lab. but yeah, sorry for putting that tangent there. It's so to give a little context with how Peppino remembers stuff.
His brain is done fucked up that he cannot tell which memories are from him or from Bruno. It's like when you're dreaming and you already have stock knowledge in the dream's universe and it just hurts your brain when you try to pinpoint when exactly you got that information. He'd say some shit about his childhood and full believes he was the kid in the memory, and to Peppino he'd admit that all his memories are hella fuzzy for some reason but he just shrugs it off with "I'm just getting old". Also he kinda gets dreams about the lab and shrugs it off as some weird ass nightmare about the restaurant debt lmao.
(btw, Faker is well aware about Bruno's memories and know how to distinguish it from his own. I really love interpreting him as the alpha of all clones, it's so fun)
But yeah those are my reasons why I formulated and headcanoned Peppino as a clone.
All else that you need to know about this is that Peppino escapes, spends time in the real world, forgets his origins because brains are weird and it does this thing where it forgets traumatic events, and runs the restaurant (instinctual thing???), and seeing that Peppino is thriving on his own, Pizzahead thought how funny it would be to bring his ass back to the tower. Pizzahead is Pizzahead, his choices are whack asf
but all in all, I have always interpreted clone Peppino in all my silly little doodles gbjsbgksrbkj but like no one's gonna ask about it so I never made a peep nor a sound. But now you know lmao, which would raise questions that I'm more than happy to indulge
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