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#but given the family history. it wouldnt take much for me to turn into one huh?

foolgobi65 · 3 years

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i really wish the writers of lucifer hadn't turned chloe and maze's friendship into such an afterthought! like ok:

- when they start in season 2, both of them are in pretty isolated places socially. chloe, already a pretty introverted workaholic, is just newly divorced and has exactly one (1) friend: lucifer. maze has finally split off from lucifer and has two (2) friends: linda and trixie, but for the purposes of this comparison linda really is maze's one friend. maze has just accepted that she's not actually going back to hell, that this time on earth isn't really just a lunch break before they go back to the real world (hell) and so she now has to figure out how to build a real life in LA.

- basically, both maze and chloe are kind of in similar positions in terms of being isolated and really only having a singular overwhelming relationship with someone as opposed to having a network they can rely on so that all their eggs aren't in one basket. you can see where this backfires on both of them throughout the series when linda spends the week not talking to maze after seeing lucifer's face, and when lucifer runs off to vegas and suddenly chloe is stuck with all these feelings she can't express (and crucially can't talk about to him, her best friend.) ofc lucifer and maze's relationship transcends friendship just based on their immense history and is its own weird thing that i also kind of wish they had given more thought to, but w/e.

- enter: maze and chloe's friendship! i think for both maze and chloe, the other person is as "far" as you could get from themselves, but is fascinatingly still someone they can like, respect, love, and be loyal to. for a good while (and this is something i REALLY wish they had maintained) chloe, maze, and dan are basically raising trixie together which takes so much respect and trust that the other person is someone you want having a hand in influencing a kid you love! i think what's interesting is that, unlike lucifer who is trying to answer existential questions about his place/purpose in the universe, maze is really just focused on the people she cares about and having a good time (which is rooted in her doing meaningful work as a bounty hunter.) chloe is someone who pursues duty to the point of self-sacrifice, and obviously her friendship with lucifer helps her loosen up, but the pedestal he places her on/reverence he sometimes feels for her prevents him from really popping that bubble in the same way maze does. also chloe and lucifer's relationship gets SO much more complicated around the time maze enter's chloe's life so the role that lucifer once had to shock chloe out of her comfort zone kind of goes to maze once chloe has to draw some personal boundaries with lucifer.

- i think the key to maze and chloe's friendship is that they're both people who desperately need someone who embodies the other person's best trait. while this tendency isn't always healthy, maze is fundamentally someone very loyal to those she believes deserves it. obviously she's also betrayed people a billion times but at her core she's deeply committed to those she cares about which is something that i can see chloe find really appealing. at this point chloe has spent so much of her life in this weirdly precarious position where, since her dad's death she hasn't been able to fully trust anyone or open up to them. obviously she loves dan, but its clear that even when they're still "good" he doesn't trust her instincts or potential like he should, and when he spent those months gaslighting her the issue for her even beyond the fact that he shot malcom would have been that he didnt support or trust his wife. the appeal of lucifer is that from the beginning he identifies that she's smart and moral with good instincts. he trusts her, and strangely over the season she begins to trust him too! and then he runs off to vegas, etc etc lol. maze's primary loyalty probably isn't to chloe, but we see that to the best of her capacity she wants chloe to be happy -- she gets the prison warden killed, she "tries" and then really does listen to chloe venting about lucifer, attends the parent night chloe was stressed about, sets aside her grudge with lucifer to find chloe.

- in turn, chloe's best trait is her ability to accept people as they are and see their potential. of course she doesnt really have that many friends, but the people she is attracted to are all works in progress (dan is obvious, as are lucifer and maze lmao, but there's also ella who confesses something very personal and scary to chloe and gets a hug in return, and even charlotte who chloe's had clashes with both as charlotte and Mom for years but still gets the benefit of the doubt.) maze does have to change when she comes to live with chloe and trixie, but we see trixie grow up heavily influenced by maze in ways that makes it clear that chloe must genuinely like maze, or those influences like the handshake and the passion for gore and the knife training wouldnt have been allowed. we know that the reason maze is so loyal to lucifer is that he was the first person to ever accept her for who she was unconditionally, without shame or judgment. we see that for lucifer chloe is that person, especially because she sees his potential for growth just as she sees maze's. because she doesnt have preconcieved notions of what they're supposed to be she only sees them as people going through a difficult period of growth and supports them as best she can: reminding maze that they're friends, worrying about her in canada, trusting her with trixie who is the most important person in chloe's life.

- of course, chloe and maze have lucifer and linda but narratively lucifer and linda become so much MORE for chloe and maze. the show sunk linda/maze lmao but linda's clearly the adult maze cares most about just as lucifer is chloe's. and for both in s3 this person they each place so much of themselves into suddenly hurts them and they both spiral. i think there was real potential for chloe and maze to become each other's support and develop into a really steady, enduring friendship in contrast to the chaos of their individual romances (you will NEVER convince me that triangle was about amenadiel rather than linda lmao.) even post s3, they don't really address that maze really hurt chloe by pushing her towards pierce, and that chloe hurt maze by lying to her. i really think there could have been a lot of growth from maze going back to living with chloe and trixie after making full ammends and chloe realizing that actually, yes she can deal with this and it isn't that scary and then the tragedy of her maybe missing her shot with lucifer becomes more stark. we see chloe and maze teaming up in the first episode of 5A but then they blow that up too! i get that chloe needs space and its clear they're both using the other as placeholders for the people they really want, but there's no reason that they couldnt have come back together later and re-established their friendship on screen. obv they wouldnt work together after lucifer comes back, but to me this is where i believe they should go back to living together. without that, maze's connection to trixie in terms of what they can show on screen becomes tenuous and chloe's home life just becomes less interesting/worthwhile to see bc it'd just be her or maybe her with trixie. without that, it feels like we just see a lot of chloe either at work or in relation to lucifer (bc thats the best bang for your buck in terms of interaction!) we do get to see maze with linda, which is nice, but idk just feels like a step back from early s3 when maze felt more embedded in a community of people who liked, accepted, and cared about her wellbeing.

- i think one of the issues is that chloe and maze's friendship might have seemed like a knock off of their "main" relationships with lucifer and linda bc they have similar dynamics with them, but idk! there's a sense of fun that we get from their friendship that we dont really see from the main pairings because those are so serious and passionate and the main mechanisms by which the 4 grow so there isn't as much room for the lighter stuff. i know i said that chloe sees the potential for growth but she's not really pushing maze to talk about her feelings. she's doing the dishes maze won't, smiling at maze and trixie's handshake, shrugging off the fact that maze is throwing knives at their rented walls. maze and chloe create space for each other to be seen as themselves, good or bad, in ways that linda and lucifer can't for whatever reason. they don't really push each other, just let the other person be. it wouldnt be the ideal dynamic if they were the only person in each other's lives, but i think its vital to have someone in your life who can, in chloe's case, gently push you outside of your comfort zone and in maze's case offer acceptance, friendship, and trust.

idk this is just going in circles as i repeat the same points over and over and over but i really wish they had put more thought into sustaining the maze and chloe friendship throughout s4 and s5 because it would have brought out notes in both of them narratively that i think are lost otherwise. also its just sad for trixie that someone who was basically part of her family who she was living with is just...not there anymore and that's never addressed. : (

#lucifer #maze #chloe decker #lol im just writing this here to avoid doing school work rip #back to pretending to do a reading!!!

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theos-writing · 3 years

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EDS Chess headcanons

me? projecting? yes. i thought it'd be nice to bring a different type of diversity to the fandom and i can really see Chess having eds, so i thought it would be nice to come out with my hcs. slight warning, this is very long

for those who dont know: Ehlers Danlos Syndrom (EDS) is a genetic connective tissue disorder that affects collagen, that is one of the main proteins of the body and is in charge of keeping us together. there are thirteen types of EDS, but overall, the main symptoms are: joint weakness and fragility, stretchy and fragile skin, and chronic pain. people with EDS, if they do any sports, usually have a short career in them, since growth spurts or short periods of time without exercise can make them lose muscle mass easily, and in consequence, not have the compensation for their weak joints and end up feeling pain and dislocate things easily. wanna learn more go to this site (The Ehlers Danlos Society)

this is mainly based on my experiences. eds is different for each person.

Riley never did the stabby thing au

TW: addiction, injury, doctors, medicine and medical exams

Chess had a terrible balance when she was little

she was always falling and getting hurt

so her parents decided to sign her up for gymnastics when she was about four

she was really good at it

the teachers did say she had hypermobility

it wasnt a problem tho, it could even make her a better gymnast if she wanted to keep going!

at the beginning, she got hurt a lot

she twisted her ankles and complained of pain

everyone just brushed it off as growing pains and said that as she got stronger, she would get better

and she did!

for a long time, she had nearly no pain and only dislocated a couple joints

but when she was about twelve, that started getting worse

she was feeling her joints go out of place more often and she was feeling more pain

at this point, she doesnt want to tell anyone

all the pain was just growth pain, they would stop one day

until she started having this weird pain on her shoulder. it wouldnt go away, no matter how long she put ice on it or how she trained. it wasnt stopping.

she was fourteen and on the beginning of freshman year when that happened.

after a while, the pain was just a normal thing for her

it was annoying as hell and she hated it, but she wasnt going to let it stop her gymnastics

so she kept training.

but the pain started spreading. her other shoulder, her elbows and wrists

it was getting hard to write

but she could write on the computer so that didnt affect her studies

she was more concerned about gymnastics

she was amongst the top ranked on the country

even in her worst event, she was still in third place

she couldnt give up now

so she ignored the pain

until she couldnt anymore.

Chess was just practicing when she felt this massive pain shot up her shoulder

she let go of the high bar and fell

the way she landed, half on her feet, half falling down took a turn on her knee

she felt it leave the place where it was supposed to be and she screamed

her knee was nearly on the side of her leg

she panicked, not because of the pain, but because she knew what this meant: her career as a gymnast was over before it had even started

she was fifteen, a sophomore in high school, one of the youngest people recruited for the next olympics

now, all that was over

knowing that hurt more than her knee

Chess needed surgery so they could fix it

and at least four months of rehab to get it to normal use again

but as she thought, no more gymnastics. ever.

she cried for days. if she didnt have gymnastics, what did she have?

then one day, after a really bad pain crisis, she was given vicodin

it felt... good. so she accepted the next time they offered her. and whenever they would ask after, she always had pain.

it wasnt a lie. she had a lot of pain. and with weeks of bed rest, she was developing more and more pain areas. her back, her hips, her ankles, her neck, everything hurt

but she didnt need meds for it. she needed meds so she could fill up that void inside her

she recovered, partially. she still used crutches for months

finally, two months before the end of the year, she was back to walking normally and even doing p.e.

so she decided to try out for the cheer team. it wasnt gymnastics, but it was better than nothing

Kate tried out with her and also quit gymnastics for her

"a best friend wont let you suffer on your own" she said

they both got in, and when they went back to school after the summer, Chess was already fully healed

but she didnt stop with the meds

she would say she knows what happened that year but for her its all a blur her mind blocked out

she dropped Farrah, she knew that, and the younger girl hated her for it

to be honest, Chess also did. she hurt someone, even if not on purpose, she hurt someone. if Farrah landed weird she could've hurt herself as much as Chess did or even die and that would be on Chess.

so for a while she agreed to try to stop

but the pain and the withdrawals were too much

so she went back to it

until the next year. after the sleepover. after what Kate said.

and it was hard. so hard. but she made it through a day, then a week, and a month, and it got a bit easier.

the only thing that got to her was the pain. where the hell was the pain coming from

she refused to take any pain meds for it, she was scared she would slide back. she dealt with that pain for so long, it couldnt be that bad

but it was. she was starting to subluxate and dislocate things almost every week

after another scare with her knee, the school board and her parents decided it would be better if she went off the team

she was distraught again.

but now, what they wanted were answers. they went to doctor after doctor after doctor for months. no one really believed her

she researched and looked for answers on her own until she came across EDS

it sounded... like her. the pain, the dislocations, the short lived life in gymnastics, the skin that would always end up with massive scars, the hypermobility she had since a young age

she talked to her parents about that, and they agreed to take her to a geneticist

she was terrified going to that appointment

she was scared the geneticist would say what everyone else did, tell her its for attention or for the meds

but she listened. she listened while they told Chess' story and their family health history. she did a physical exam and didnt say anything until they were done talking

then she said Chess was right. she did have EDS.

Chess cried when she was told that. she finally had a diagnosis. she wasnt crazy, she wasnt faking it. she had an actual illness

it did mean she would most likely feel pain for the rest of her life, tho

but it also meant she could stop with the E.R. visits and the dirty looks from doctors and the countless blood tests and scans that got them no where

that didnt mean no scans or blood work, but those meant something. those were now to check if she was alright, not to check if she was telling the truth. and it felt so good

she told Kate right when she got home

at first she was scared, but they spent all night reading the articles Chess' doctor had sent to them and watching videos of other people with EDS, and she wasnt scared anymore. not as much anyways

#wow this was long #but im proud of it :)#chess watt #we are the tigers #we are the tigers musical #we are the tigers headcanons #kate watt #kate dalton #nix writes #addiction tw #doctors tw

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thoughtfulpaperback · 4 years

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Spoilers!!!! Charmed 02x04

Okay yall. I love this episode, but this one is actually my least favorite so far. I have a couple of, not concerns, but more than nitpicks, about some things this episode. Overall I'd still give it a 7/10. It was paced well and the added lore was top notch so far and cant wait for more. Anyways, again I will start with things I liked, then move on to the things I didnt, and end with some highlights.

Likes:

1. Mel! Overall Mel is a champ and even though she had big romance storylines, and they developed her character in small ways throughout the first season, I still felt we need more Mel. This episode not only did a good job if staying true to the mel that was built in season 1 but adding onto her. Mel seems to detest the idea of uselessness or at least of being powerless. Which makes sense not only as a minority and a woman but as a lesbian. She grew up not having to hide and with a mother who basically told them they were powerful strong and could do anything. Which is wonderful, but breeds that room for those types of insecurities.

2. Hacy

So actually not that much big hacy moments in comparison to previous episoded, but I love how they are the two interrogating abby and the moment they shared with the safe word.

That said I also didn't like the need for one when Macy said she would just know. Although I argue that the fact she even asked for the safe word was because she knew. Because she tells her sisters to go, trusting him, before she looks onto his eyes. Then when he leans in to touch her and orb them out, either she is put off by the over enthused smirk (he was too happy for the situation) or she wanted to get a look into his eyes. Because if you look at her facial expressions as she is looking into her eyes she seems to doubt that he is Harry and then asks for the safe word before he orbs them out.

I also think they missed a hacy opportunity when he warns Macy to be careful

Harry: she's half demon

Macy: so am I

Harry: but you are you

I'll explain further in the disliked section

4. Maggie and Jordan. Okay so I really like these two together. Hold up though. I like it as a slow developing relationship. Jordan is in a different life stage than Maggie imo. If he were single and went after her immediately or they started a romance I wouldnt like that. Him having someone and Maggie growing up and them building a solid friendship first is what I am here for. I'll talk about her powers later. What I was curious about was the ring on Jordand finger since the camera focus for a bit on his hand when he mentioned his family. I hope he doesnt come from a line of witch hunters or turns out to be some sort of creature later on. I mean on one hand that would be cool and a twist, especially if he remains the same (like doesnt change into a villian just turns out has some history) because I feel like it would be a way of doing the Galvin family history right. I mean I think that is what I enjoyed about Galvins storyline, him being able to help out because of his family history. But they didnt do much with it given the limited screen time. So if they could do something similar with Jordan and give it appropiate attention I would love it. But if they tried to use it for drama I wouldnt because it would be too much like parkerita. Let maggie grow up and have a healthy mature relationship without deception and scary families involved!

5. Dark!Harry as a Darklighter and a Hunter

So I mean we still don't know exactly what darklighters are. I mean we know that they are part of the whitelighter (one person split in half) but we dont know if the elders trained them for a specific purpose. I mean Darry got fighting skills and some resourcefulness. For to come from no where, but the fact he is after powerful beings (so far we dont know exactly why) and he has a connection with Harry is really interesting and has so many possibilities moving forward and I especially love the further similarities is draws to Macy.

Harry (unlike macy) has been split in two he has lived with this unknown part of him that differs from everything he was taught and believed about himself. Like macy this side of him appears to be "evil", although I have a feeling is probably more complicated than that since it obviously is for Macy. So harry has this "dark side". Which will be interesting if they ever have to or can merge the two.

Right now it appears that Darry has nothing to do with the Demon wars (unless you believe he and abby are working together).

Now onto dislikes:

1. Abby. Hold up y'all! I actually love this villainess. I just have some concerns about her background. And also have some thoughts about her possible future role.

So I love that she wants to bring down the patriarchy of the demon world. Her being Caine seems unnecessary, and brings up some questions.

Why didn't Parker ever mention her? He mentioned Hunter. She knew about him. So it would seem a fair assumption that Parker knew about her.

I don't mind adding lore to the previous seasons as long as they make sense. So far what they have added doesn't negate what was established last season (season 1 contradicted itself a couple of times), but with Abby as a Caine they will have to make double sure they don't add anything that would contradict season 1.

Abby as bisexual. Like I love when shows give some bisexual representation! But I am always weary when bisexuals are the villians and they are the only bisexual characters in the show. I am not bisexual, so I can't really say whether the show is doing this well or not well. It is just something I try to be considerate of and so when it happens I am always a bit nervous about it.

2. The Vera-Vaugh sisterhood (mostly on Macy's part). Okay so I am treading lightly on this topic and also would like to point out that I am coming at this from my Latina perspective. But I feel that Macy sees her place and he relationship with her sisters from the "Good Mexican" perspective. Meaning she does crave that connection to her sisters but also views herself as the other. More so she view her sisters as thinking over her as "the good half demon" and for Macy that isnt enough. It still feels like a rejection of part of her. Which in some cases is, but I think for her sisters it isnt that way at all. They dont view her as "a good half-demon" they see her as Macy and as thier sister. But I feel that since Macy, given how she grew up and the insecurities we know she has from season 1, isnt getting the memo. She now knows that her sisters actually love her and will stick with her, but she no longer is craving acceptance, she wants understanding and commonality. Which for her, her sisters cannot give her not just because they are different but because they view the situation differently.

Abby is playing to that so well. I was upset that Macy would reveal the way she got her demon side. It seems not only like a bad move as far as trusting someone you claim not to trust but also just common sense given that I would thing you wouldnt want other demons knowing how to create more demons from humans. Anyways, abby's line of having more in common with each other was pretty brilliant given the little amount of time she has spent with any of them.

I think it is possible, from the patriarchy conversation, that Abby eventually would try to recruit Macy to join her in trying to take over the demon world. That said I am not sure so far if Abby would actually like to share power with anyone. We still dont know much about her character. So her development moving forward will be interesting.

Moving back to the sisters. I think if moving forward the show would do little things to address the issue it would help not only to further build the relationship between the sisters but the power of 4. Things like the line I added between Macy and Harry would show Macy that they are seeming the situation differently. It wont allieviate What Macy is feeling or the fact she still has to figure out what exactly it means to be a half demon or if it does have meaning out side the societal implications.

3. Whitelighter lore. Don't come for me! I love the added lore. I just have some nitpicks.

Alpha. So if the first whitelighter was from Salem then how is there and Egyptian hieroglyph for a whitelighter? Unless the elders just to a hieroglyph and decided to make that one the one for whitelighter? ("Hey what's that" other elder: "I combined two hieroglyph want to use that for our new whitelighters?" First elder: hell yah!)

Okay so if these two are one person made into two and are connected. Then how connected are they? I mean I assume we will get more detail as the show progresses so I am not made about it, but the alpha is always kept near the split part. So in the beginning was it that they couldnt be too far apart or else something bad would happen? Or is it that what happens to one happens to the other. Dark!Harry tried to kill Harry so we could assume that that isnt the case because it would be a death sentence for both (unless dark!harry didnt know and just lucked out be the fact that Harry and him are now immortal because Harry's tie to the elders was severed). Lots of questions regarding what exactly dark!harry knows or doesnt know.

4. Maggie's powers. Dont get me wrong, I love the foresight and its relation to premonitions and Marisol, but it is gonna need some careful explaining. They established that witches are traced through these powers and that the sisters were stripped of them. So then what is this foresight? It cant be a part of her old powers because those were stripped. But if this is a new power can it be used to track the sisters? Or is it something else? A power but unrelated to the powers and triggered by an outside agent (not necessarily a person). Will Mel start to develop new powers as well or again is there something going on with Maggie?

Highlights:

Mel chugging like a champ!

Maggie's constant touching of Jordan when trying to trigger her new powers. Not awkward at all Mags...

The satisfied look on Darry's face when he is about to orb Macy and him out (I still cant believe the girls werent suspicious of how Harry found orbed to them when none of them called for him)

(I was gonna give credit to the gif maker and had written down who it was but lost the paper and cant remember which of the people I saved this from. So if this is your gif let me know! So I can edit and give yah the credit you deserve! Sorry about that! If I find the paper before yah recognize the gif I will edit)

Abby's recount of being attacked by Darry. I was enjoying the steaminess.

Anyways that's all on my part! Comment, send asks or message me, if y'all want to discuss something I mentioned or didnt mention about this episode or the series in general! Not looking forward the the inevitable break that will occur but cant wait for episodes 5 and 6!

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zenosanalytic · 4 years

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People What Aint From Round Here Is The Problem...

So I just watched Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood and I have THOUGHTS:

Ive read a few reviews&ruminations on this film at this point and I can’t believe that none of them got(or at least, mentioned explicitly) the primary thesis of this movie, spcl given that Tarentino flatly states it out the mouth of his primary protagonist within, like, the first 15-20mins of the film: “...most important thing in this town is when you’re making money you buy a house in town. You don’t rent... Hollywood real estate means you live here. You’re not just visiting, not just passing through. You fuckin live here.” i.e., the most important thing in Hollywood, to Hollywood, is the people FROM Hollywood; Everyone else is just a filthy, trouble-making tourist or profiteer who is “Passing Through” and “Doesnt Get It” and “Is Fucking It Up”(It being the film industry), and probably “Secretly Hates Movies”. There are places and aspects of this movie that are basically a Nativist Angeleno rant, written by a life-long Angeleno film-nerd-turned-film-maker, against Hollywood’s critics(and his critics which he just totally conflates with the former), and probably non-Angelenos(and non-Californians?) in general.

There are two ways to read this thesis: Straight and Subverted/Satirized.

The evidence for reading it straight is pretty plentiful. Lots of reviews have puzzled at where the line connecting the constant hippie-bashing, the weird focus on knocking Polanski’s Polishness & preference for shooting in London, and the inexplicable pot-shot at Bruce Lee is, and I think this is it. “The Hippies” are repeatedly presented as a corrupting force: digging through trash, living in squalourous filth at the Spahn Ranch dragging members of “Old Hollywood” like its owner into it with them, selling drugs, and using sex to “control” men. And attached to this is presenting “The Hippies” as foreign; not only from another place, but refusing to assimilate with the LA way of life and hostile to it. The Manson family are the only explicitly identified “Hippies” in the film(other than, possibly, the one who sells Cliff an acid cig). The only “positive” portrayals of Bruce Lee in the film are silent ones of him teaching anglos kung fu, which has some fairly obvs and well-understood Implications.

But there’s also good evidence for reading it as subverted and satirized. Both Tate and Dalton are NOT from California, let alone LA, and Booth’s origins are left unclear. Dalton’s the only one of them explicitly id’d as being from elsewhere(Missouri), but Tate’s easy to google and she was a military kid who grew up all over the place. When Dalton returns from Italy, that sequence and his look in it are VERY reminiscent of the scenes introducing Polanski at the beginning of the film. The side-characters around Tate, perennially shown in a positive light, are also non-Angelenos. Doing Spaghetti Westerns revitalizes Dalton’s career, despite his disdain for Italian cinema. Tate and her crew, while not explicitly ID’d as “Hippies” and often shown in Mod and other fashion styles, are also presented in “Hippie” fashion, shown listening to “Hippie” music, smoking the “Hippie” Reefer(Im sorry, but Comedy Demanded this phrasing and I am Devout u_u), and implied to be living a polyamorous “Hippie” life.

It really is difficult for me to say which predominates. On the one entirely metaphorical hand, the ways in which Dalton’s Angeleno chauvinism are subverted and mocked are fairly obvs, but on the other emh, the film is FILLED with LITERALLY GLOWING nostalgia for this pre-Hippy, pre-Lefty, pre-70s, Conservative and Republican California&Los Angeles. Dalton’s focus on property-ownership&the film industry in the opening thesis could easily be seen as resolving these subversive contradictions to allow for a straight read(ie: Tate, Booth, and Dalton are “Hollywood People” who’ve both bought real-estate in LA, and who’ve grown up in film or film-adjacent fields and choose to center their adult lives in the film industry). So much, in fact, that I kinda started to wonder abt QT’s politics while watching it. And, if it WAS satirical, then what’s the point of the knock to Bruce Lee and focusing criticisms of Polanski on his Polishness and shooting in London? Is that just meant to characterize Dalton and Booth as nativists and racists?

It really cannot be said enough that there are REALLY MORE APPROPRIATE CRITICISMS to make of Polanski than 1)begin Polish, 2)possessing boyish effeminacy, and 3)preferring to shoot movies in London instead of LA. Which are this movie’s only problems with him(though it also takes the time to show him bitchily smoking a cigarette in an evening gown while being rude to a dog). Obvsl I dont object to villainizing an ACTUAL REAL LIFE VILLAIN like this shitstain, but I DO object to being asked(albeit gently) to participate in this film’s understated nationalist bigotry.

It’s possible that Cliff’s turning Pussycat down during the drive to the ranch was intended to be this but I highly doubt it. And if it was it’d be misrepresenting Polanski’s misdeeds enormously, considering that Pussycat, the too-young girl, is the sexual instigator in this film. Polanski liked to manipulate, drug, and rape underaged girls(he pulled the same shit with models in Europe before getting busted for it in LA, btw, then continued doing it after fleeing back to Europe); really not the same situation.

There’s another irony in that, while the film goes out of its way to call Polanski “boyish” and imply that makes him feminine and that this is Bad, there’s also a subtle under-current that... Tarentino sees himself in his youth the same way? He’s certainly never been short like Polanski and Jay Sebring are/were, QT’s 6 1, but the actors he cast to play them and the description made of the pair in-film are more than a bit reminiscent of how Tarentino looked&was discussed in the press back in the 90s when he was starting out. AAAaaand the film explicitly calls that Tate’s “Type”; leaving me with the question: would Tarentino be able to stop himself from implying a dead starlet would have been attracted to him? I leave the answer to your imaginations, Dear Readers u_u

Having said all that it IS a really good film, which I liked, I dont think it’d be very hard to set aside this political stuff while watching, the driving sequences are especially emotive&exhilarating, and there’s some seriously great acting in it. IDK if I’d say I liked it more than the recent Emma movie, tho.

I feel like each of the trio, Tate, Dalton, and Booth, were meant to symbolically Embody LA/Hollywood/California? Like Pitt especially seemed to be channeling movie characters and CJ from GTA: San Andreas throughout his performance, while I couldnt help but think of Ronald Reagan watching DiCaprio(spcl given the character’s likely politics). So there’s this sense in which the film is a fantasy of “Old Hollywood”, embodied by these three, Vanquishing its “Enemies”, represented by The Hippies(moralizing, pretentious, gross leftist) and potentially Polanski&Lee(foreign film ppl who refuse to integrate into the LA scene). Again, given the political history of Cali after this era, this embodiment raises some questions for me abt the film and QT’s politics(particularly in re: misogyny and feminism).

Also DiCaprio is totally going to get pitched a Reagan biopic off of this role and I sincerely hope he has the good sense to turn that shit the fuck down.

Circling back to the ranting at his critics, this movie was definitely and consciously a response to them. Like: up until the last 5-15 minutes of the film, and aside from a handful of too-lingering too fetishistic too on-the-nose creep shots of the female cast that Tarentino simply could not stop himself from making, OUATiH is precisely the sort of “Serious” film Tarentino’s critics have been saying he should make for decades now(of course he did Jackie Brown, which was that and which he blew Completely out of the park). And then there’s that bloody, gross-out, exploitation-movie ending. I dont actually think it was as bad as many critics were saying it was? For some reason I was thinking there was gonna be a massacre of the ENTIRE Manson family, which would have been totally out of left-field. But it WAS clearly a stinger of a major tone-shift thrown in as a Fuck You to the ppl who’ve called out his violent and exploitative preferences throughout the years. As for me I generally like his movies and think he’s a great filmmaker but he absolutely does go too far sometimes.

Rick Dalton, in an evening-gown, with a mixer full of iced-margarita in one hand, getting all up in the face of the driver of a loud exhaust-spewing jalope in his PRIVATE STREET was TOTALLY Tarentino himself :| By which I mean NOT ONLY that That’s ABSOLUTELY the sort of cameo he would have given himself 30 years ago and if it made any sort of sense at all in the film(which here it wouldnt have, obvsl), BUT ALSO that I feel 94% confident that Tarentino has actually done that at least once in his lifetime :| :|

I think the monologue&interactions T gives Bruce Lee leading up to the fight were probably more insulting to him than the fight itself. Contrary to popular discussion, it isn’t Pitt’s character totally trashing Lee, he gets in one good throw after Lee repeats a successful attack at his request(which I doubt Lee would have ever done from what little I know about him; not being predictable in a fight was his whole Deal), but rather an even duel between them(most of the fight is just the two blocking each others’ attacks). I dont think the film was trying to say “Lee was full of hot-air”, if it wanted to say that it’d have shown him getting trounced instead of showing him knock Booth down then trade him blow for blow, but more “Lee was pretty arrogant and a bit pretentious”.

OK, that’s abt all that I can think of right now: thanks for reading ^v^

#Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood #Quentin Tarentino #Long Post #Cinema #zA Reviews #Movie Reviews #zA Commentary #zA Opinions #analytic posts

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tiptoelightlypastmymind · 5 years

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this got rly long and like Philosophical so if ur on mobile and the read more thingy doesnt work then i hope your thumb appreciates some good calisthenics bc thats what i got for you

im heading off to bed here in a moment (cuz i fucking LOVE sleep even tho i never actually ya know SLEEP) but like ive been thinking a lot about like. ignorance is bliss and stuff like that.

mostly cuz like in the last few weeks my family has just fucking waffled the fuck outta how they handle homosexuality. like for a bit every so often they’d say something and id be like damn you guys are like mb close to like realizing Some Ppl Be All Like Gay And Shit and mb realize you cant use gayness or effemininity (that’s not a word but i dont got that word) as a punchline or negative characteristic. but then we had a buncha weeks back to back where it was like bam slam nope.

waking up and realizing this shit and being like Really Fucking Aware Of The Power Of Language And How It Shapes Belief is hard bc you cant just like ignore it like someone making a punch line like that does two things (1) it creates a pattern that reinforces that behavior (2) it ropes everyone else present in to Being In On The Joke and no fuk u i am not in on this joke and i dont have a silence loud enough to convey what a piece of Shit ur being but like this isnt the time or place to call you out

like its one thing to hear my older brother say something bc he has the social awareness of a duck that has been in a coma for the last thirty-seven years but mom saying shit when she should kno better is frustrating. and i cant get a read on my father bc hes just fucking quiet in general so idk how to interpret his silence on it tho i guess im the most hopeful so far for him given some of our complicated history and stuff. then theres the younger brother who is catholic af but at the same time i also kno if i was able to have a conversation with someone else about it in front of him hed also be the person to immediately realize how Shitty it all is bc hes just introspective enough.

there mighta been a point to this post when i first started typing but i think my train o thought got kinda tangled-the-fuck-up back there so i think ill just let it stand as is.

also im gonna lay a marker down in the sand. internet will be back mid-june. not bc ive done the math and know this is possible. but bc things cant keep going on like This. and by This i mean like. everything i suppose? or mb just me. or mostly just me. its like theres a path out of this thats been there forever but i keep swerving and not taking it. not bc i like living like this but bc taking action means risking failure and given a choice btwn uncertainty and certainty its far easier to choose certainty bc i like having control even if that control is essentially the fact that ive relinquished control. and as it turns out, that has major fucking consequences, as in like thought patterns and shit that i didnt see coming until we got right up to the edge of the cliff and by that point it was too l8 not to just thelma and louise this whole thing and just live with it

which is a long assed way of saying im p beaten and down but defs not out of things and im a long ways closer to this side of things than the side i was on when i let it all kinda slip and things got fucked. like at the end of the day failure isnt rly a real option both bc as much as ive seemingly tried to fail the world has strictly informed me that it just isnt rly something thats possible for someone who is me apparently. and if i cant fail then i guess that means ill just have to find a better answer and that answer is probs going to involve being a real person again and taking up physical space instead of just evaporating into a metaphysical concept

k but one last thing since its bugging me that no one might get it (were about to nerd the Fuck Out so bear with me) but you can reduce any letter of the alphabet to shapes specifically the letter i is either just a line with a dot or its a single line the same as the number one. one is a number but its also how we talk about ourselves and others, both oneself and/or one other. or we can get super reductionist and simply call it is/is not, right. oneself IS me. one other self IS NOT me.

alright now you can read the last three poems and mb get it bc tho u wouldnt normally know it my hubris is p fucking off the rails sometimes and poetry is p much the only acceptable way to express that kinda thing

ill be here tomorrow and forever still full of love. goodnight <3

#musing #being open isnt rly like in my wheelhouse anymore but hey why not i guess?

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gayspock · 5 years

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ALRIGT PART 2 O EGG DOCTOR WHO S11 TALK

ONE thing i mut ay aout this sseaosn is that... i know theres another episode to come, (witchinders? witchhunters?) that’s history-based, but thus far? taking into account pretty much everything, in new who: these history episodes have been... some of my FAVOURITE, and i know thats just. Rosa and Demons of Punjab but thwere’s something so... distinct about them?

what i think honestly.... again- i will sya, along wit the episodes, im also listening to the Run fancast in between to try and gather my thoughts- is that as Travis succinctly put it at some point or other... its bc theyre not using hsitory as flavour, and rather theyre taking the setting more into account, and considering its stakes.

AND THERE ARE DEFFO OTHER EPISODES THAT DO THAT like, the only fires of pompeii, and human nature / family of blood and aguably vincent and the doctor, - and lo and behold, those are also some of my most favourite episodes, especially in comparison to other history episodes. and i think.. its EXACLTY because of the fact theyre, like, not being fun and cavalier with the handling of, like, the past in like a . this is just!!!!! flavour!! this is just colour but heyre also showing.... some horribl consequences and actually integrating it into the pisode, if that makes? literally any sense whatseoever.

LIKE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY. nothing wrong with simply having them go back in time, for a cool kinda vibe but it always feels such a shame to not... exploit that? AND - you know, as i think about it.. i do sometimes wonder, like? man, do they even GO back in timee that much bc like. sometimes it feels like they never really do but . like man hmm. theres certain episodes where i think like- the snowmen (though i do adore victorian!clara, and have 10mil reason why he hsould have been the companion) and that vampires of venice and deep breath and et ceterea, et cetera and thoe are all. FINE episodes (with a capital F, i n and e) but like rally i think. they could, with tweaks, be taken from their context and be put somewher else without much loss

whereass...... the historical element is much more integrated and i dont think. given some nuances you could take it ou, and maybe that motly bc and- also, okay! elephant in the room, but... fuckn....again, thoe god damn mother fucker fan alway bitch about how thi season is “too pc” and all that bollocks,but rosa and d.o.p? are both the BEST episodes of this season so far imo- and okay.. i was admittedly WORRIED when i heard dw wa like. going into some of those subjects- and its not bc i dont WANT it to, im fine with it, but i was worried it wouldnt handle them delicately which would be a massie. unignorable thing for me but they did it and............ they showed racism, man.

like . i always kind of. hate that part in the shakespeare code where hess like @ martha “just dont worry bout it” because that. okay thats already such an insensitive thing to asay but like. listen it jut makes u realise that.... like.. they dont touch upon that stuff- and PART O ME ALWAYS IS LIKE. LIKE. fine dw is like a show that just isnt built for that conversation- and thats fine, sometimes thats the case, and its inappropriate and should be reserved for much btter platforms to facilitate what needs to be said- but.. LIKE. AH I SO HARD TO DESCIBE BC . im torn on whether i want tosee that myself, bc its definitely not right to turn a blind eye bu .. LISTEN.

POINT IS, I THINK. like they did it w.. like they explored actual history well, and the actualhumanity of people in those situations rather than merely passing through and the struggles ppl went through at certain times and i can respect that shit and like. honestly demons of punjab too like... im not...likefuckn england man. shitshow coutnry. im fucking happy, even if the cunts hated that shit, that they SHOWED even some insight to that given. this fuckn cuntry you know. lol. you know how th

AND I THINK WHAT ALSO MADE ROSA AND D.O.P STANDOUTS FOR THIS SEASON WHERE... the fact they were .. uhh... MUCH MORE INTERESTING?

AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT, IS- is like... i already mentioned: i dont think theyre exploring the doctor enough a they should, and i know its more companion based which is good but we can definitely have both and... I DONT ALWAYS AGREE WITH .. TRAV&TYBEE FROM THE FANCAST BUT WHA. again they discussed was about how- she really isnt.. GETTING the opportunities she deserves, and she isnt really existing as the doctor and shes smart and shes capable but it feels like theyre reeling her authority in which is weird- and its weird - and....

many of the episodes thus far have also felt. Kinda eh! LIKE. OKAY. BY FAR... MY LEAST FAVOURITE WAS TSURANGA CONUNDRUM. WHICH I DIDNT LIKE ON MANY LEVELS. but eh a lotof them are just FINE and even rosa&d.o.p... like- though unconventional, and though they did push the boat out into new ground in terms of like. “before this we usually just ignore race, and go into the show colourblind” (not ignoring bill, bcause quite clearly that was always a topic with her, but ... in terms of a more indepth llook into the problem becausewhilst, yes, the doctor fucking clocking a racist for bill was indeed satisfying im always a little iffy on whether that really did do anything, exct serve as a HELL YEAH PUNCH racists, which is- WHICH IS GOOD AND IM GOING ON A LONG TANGENT HERE, but i dont think it reallyactually talks, or offers any conversation on the topic, and is shallow in a weird way and idkif it should be applauded as much as it is esp. as it like... fuckn white man doing it still??) BUT ANYWAYS ALTHOUGH THOSE DID . KINDA PUSH IT IN TERMS OF DCOTOR WHO ON THAT, IM WONDERING A LITTLE ... like..

in terms of , like, what makes docto who doctor who? not a lt has been... very standout, and there hasnt been. any REMARKABLE... decision or cnsequence, thats fuckn haunting and. although very much, those two episodes especially are a good look into some aspects of humanity i uess, i dont think theres ever any... LIKE WHAT DOCTOR WHO USUALLY DOES UIE WELL, IS ISS CAMPY AND ITS FUCKN . KINDA WEIRD BUt it does... LIKE IM THINKING BAST BELOW, whilst thats a controvesial episode i think in terms of its quality i personally always liked it bc its so. quintessential of doctor who where its . REAL SIMPLE but it is.... its such a . decision to make in terms of morality, and thats- LIKE, THE DOCTOR HERSELF HASNT HAD HER CHANCE! LIKE ITS ALL BOILT DOWN T THAT SITUATION OFF THEM NOT... GIVING HER THE MOMENTS SHE DESERVES,,,,

and theres also very itte. fun and cool time stuff going on and the sci fi is very lacking and. LIKE AGAIN, IT DOSNT FEEL LIKE DOCTOR WHO- AND THAS FINE... IN THAT ITS DIFFERENT, BC THAS WHAT DOCTOR WHO DOES, BUT ISNT IT. losing kind of all sight, wilst still being- whilst still being safe in the fact that they dont.. take any ... BIG BIG LEAPS DOES THAT MAKE SENSE LIKE THOSE EPISODES. THAT I LIKE. ARE GOOD BUT LIE-

theres very much.... a lack of sstandout-stanouts LIKE YOU KNOW HOW. EVERY season has fucking RINGERS that just bring it to the fucking tabl and then episodes that arent BAD but theyre like. Good! :£ and . I THINK THATS WHAT A LOT OF TH. THIS SEASON HAS KIND OF BEEN IN A WAY, and ther ehast ... LIKE LITERALLY NOT A SIINGLE FOE HAS BEEN. CAPITVATING AT ALL THUS FAR FOR ME. AND OCNSSQUENCE HAS BEEN LACKING I THA KAES SENSE LIKE THEY... like its WEIRD bc . despite rosa being on episode where like. i was genuinly very scared for ryan especially like. listen it feels like... in a LOT of these stories theyve just been skirting along side and it makes it fele- it makes it feel- MEANINGLESS? to some degree if hat makes sense and though they are good stories and it maks sense and. its GOOD that they didnt even change anything in d.o.p because that was the whole point, but when every episode is LIKE that its like... like. i dont know like there just havent been any iconic foess thus far, or anythin that relly defins thi and..

EP1 had te champion guy, who was functional but nothing too remarkablee... epi 2 arguably didnt even have a villain at all... epi 3/’s villain was one note, and thats sth else i could get into, but dont consider him iconic (but i guess that was due to again the context... epi 4 was . spidters. yuh. and epi 5 was that and epi 6 was . yEAH AND

OKAY. OKAY. EPI 5. TC. THAT COULLD HAVE BEEN A GOOD VILLAIN I IT WASNT FOR THAT DESIGN (and this actually. seeing as ive brought up that ancast i listen to a lot, i will say i have to oppose both trav&tyb for their opinion of th ,. bECAUSSSE I CANT) LIKE. ALRIGHT. I THINK SOMETHING LIEK THAT COULD HAVE BEEN GENUINELY SINSITER .AND I THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN A LOT BETTEIF IT TOOK THAT DARKER TONE, BECAUSE THE CUTE GREMLIN LIKE CREATURE SIMPLY JUT... the visual of that, jutaposed with the fact an apparently insanely prestigious woman just acrificed her life to ave them all isnt... it doent MESH and in my lst post i mentioned the tonal issues because what this reminds m is, yep!! SLITHEEN bc those episodes in s1 could have been so good if. UH. not for the fart jokes nd it isnt to that . absolutely sdif s9d NIGHTMARE extent but the.. FUCKN. ITS JUST A FUCKN GREMLIN LIKE- consider the alternativ,e the worse part o this episode, and the . dude whos pregnant thing oay just cut that out entirely bc thats totally detached from everything thats going on and was such a very clarly shoehorned in way to like thro w a wrecnh in the works. LIKE CT THAT OUT. INSTEAD TAKE THE DARKER TRAKE- AND WHILST I DONT ALWAYS AGREE WITH THAT, GIVEN WHAT THEYRE DOING HERE... LIKE ITS JUST THE MORE APPROPRIATE OPTION.

LIKE IF U WANTED THE GREMLIN? GO WITH SOMETHING GOOFIER. AND IM NOT ASAYING U CANT DEFY CONVENTION, OR HAVE HUMOUR IN DARK SOTRIES, AND ARKNESS IN HUMOROUS STORIES BUT... you have to do that elegantly, because theres a reason why that kind of thing is unconventional, and prasised when its done right- bc its hard to o- and if u cant do it then dont do th. LIKE I HAD A BIG ISSE WITH HAT BUT ALSO OTHER THINGS IN THAT EPISODE SUCH AS. uhhhhh INTRODUCING THINGS JAND THEN DROPPING THEM BUT DECIDING TO STILL EXPLORE PRGNANT MAN BECAUSE WHY WHY WH

#egg.txt #DW LIVEBLOG #ITS FUCKN 7AM AGAIN AND IM STILL BITCHING ABOUT DW

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angeltonic · 6 years

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<3 Soft Bias Tag <3

I was tagged by @neorithic aka Rose (thanks bub <3)

I don't know the rules and which bias you’re supposed to talk about but my first ever bias out of everyone was Vernon! So I thought I'd talk about him, my #1, the love of my life.

Here we goooooo 🍃

Who is your bias: Vernon 💕

What made you notice them: Svt was the first group I've really been a fan of, kpop wise. My friend showed me Adore U and Mansae back in 2015 and she pointed out Vernon to me first. I remember seeing him in his long brown hair and bandana and I said: "heck, he's adorable and now Im trapped."

what's your favorite thing about them: My go-to answer would be all of him, as he's quite literally one of my favorite people to ever exist (🙁💕) But the one thing that sticks out is his open-mindedness and perspective on the world. I feel like he's aware of society's faults and where people could improve. To me, he would also be very willing to learn more about the plights of people with different experiences from the ones he's had. I think he would be like that when it comes to anything, really, which is why I think he's very open-minded. He's up for new experiences and challenges, and would be down to learn about anything and everything.

who would initiate skinship more: (Oh boy, I'm getting soft) I think it would definitely be me, Vernon doesn't strike me as a very physically affectionate person. But I ❤love❤ physical contact, hand holding, hugging, etc. So I feel like I'd be the one leading that department.

who would hog the blankets more: I know for a fact that I am the most lifeless sleeper in the world. I dont move at all or make any noise what so ever BUT I do love sleeping all cosy and stuff so I just might take a little bit extra from his side.

who would be more clingy: Im not a clingy person, I do like affection but I wouldnt describe it as clinginess. But I feel like I would miss being around him easier than he would miss being around me, if that makes sense? I'd probably start feeling it in like a week of not seeing him but he probably wont until a little afterwards.

who would say I love you first: I think I have a lot of love and affection to give, so maybe me? BUT relationships also scare the living fuck out of me, so I'd very much be terrified, which would lead me to possibly not saying anything for a long time. I also think that he's the kind of person where saying I love you is a really big deal, like he really really needs to build that relationship and trust first before anything, so that would delay it for a while too. But I'd probably crack first to be very honest.

who would be more easily flustered: Oh Christ, I feel like the both of us?? Vernon's ridiculously awkward and so am I. So I think we would make each other flustered and probably joke about it afterwards 😌

What cuddling position would you two have: You can never go wrong with a good ol' spooning. Im super willing to be either big or little spoon so I dont mind, though I think he might prefer big spoon. I would also not mind him laying on me to be honest? Like on my chest, while I play with his hair. Also, technically not a cuddling position, but I love when people put their head on my lap! Like aw :( thank you for trusting me with your noggin.

which colors remind you of them and why: One of the things that attract me the most about Vernon is his seemingly calm energy. Simply put, he seems like a super chill guy and I, the Queen of overthinking/anxiety, really need that opposite in my life. This makes me associate him with colors that are calming to me such as: light blue, white, forest green, soft grey, etc.

which season would you like to spend with them: Literally all of them, my whole life’s worth of seasons. Heck, even my afterlife. But I feel like my favorite would be summer. To me, Vernon feels like the best friend you'd fall in love with and what better season to spend with your best friend than summer, where you're free to make all the memories you want? I think we would do a lot of hanging out in backyards, going to arcades, catching up on some webtoons in the middle of the day while eating some ice cream, or movie nights where we spend time in a fort that took us like 2 hours to make because my perfectionist Virgo mind couldn't get over the pillows being positioned a certain way or something, exploring the city or going to a completely different place we've never been to, outside of the city. I would also take him to all of my family bbqs in Connecticut, where I can teach him how to dance bachata as my mom and tias marvel at the fact that he's at least trying.

who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter: I think it would be something we do together after spending a few hours at one of our houses. Eventually, it's gonna be baking time. I would mix everything, while he takes little bits out of the bowl cause we know he's usually the type to eat ANYTHING first and then when I try to scold him about salmonella he giggles and offers me some. I, weak and fragile for the boy, accept his offer and pretend to be mad about it.

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react: LISTEN, half of my humor is made of puns. Now, Vernon is either the King of Reactions or the King of Barely Having a Reaction. I feel like if it was a good one he'd laugh with that silly ass laugh of his and high five me but if it kinda sucked he'd probs chuckle at me with a disapproving look on his face tbh.

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a poptart and who come to the rescue: V E R N O N. Definitely, Vernon. And then I would run in there, with my heart beating out of my chest because for fuck'sake Vernon, our lease isn't even up yet and you almost burned the place to ashes.

who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back: I love, love, LOVE high places, so I would lean first. He'd then come over and lean with me but he'd pull away first and would have to drag me away too ://

what would you watching a horror film with them be like: I love watching horror movies for the simple fact that I find them hilarious and usually laugh throughout the entire thing. At first, I think he'd be like?? why are you laughing?? someone's literally being dragged down to hell in front of us and you're giggling about it? But after he gets used to it, I feel like we'd make really good commentary that leaves us in giggle fits most of the time. Unless he's really really immersed, I wouldnt wanna disrupt something he really likes.

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt: I cant flirt for the life of me, I literally dont know, I cant function. I feel like if I tried I'd definitely be cheesy though. As for Vernon, he's also super awkward as I said, so he'd jokingly try to be smooth but it just ends up being cheesy and really funny.

who is more competitive: I dont associate Vernon with competitiveness at all, he seems like he's just in it to have a good time, with good people. I'm like that too for the most part. But if we're talking Uno, Scrabble, Jeopardy, or Kahoot, Im tearing him a new one.

who would have to be given constant reminders: I feel like we'd remind each other of things but I would remind him to do simpler things like tidy up the room, or that it's his turn to do the dishes and where the keys are. Whereas, I think he'd have to remind me of things that I forget when I get too caught up in my head like eating properly, sleeping well, and knowing when to stop and enjoy my life.

who sends memes and who sends cute Im miss you text at 3 am: We both send memes, are you kidding. That'll be most of our chat history, I'd have a whole folder just dedicated to ones I can use in conversation with him. I feel like I'd send the 3 am I miss you texts a lot more often, cause not only am I a super emo cancer moon but I get extra affectionate after like 1 am for WHATEVER reason. Though, I think he'd surprise me with one out of blue because I sure as hell wasnt expecting that from him. But I also think he'd find other ways of showing you he misses you without saying it. He seems like the type where you need to learn how he shows his love through his actions because he wont really do it with words.

And that's the end of that! I rambled so much I'm so so so sorry but I love Vernon with my whole heart and could ramble about him for hours.

Thanks again to Rose for tagging me!! I had a lot of fun.

Im tagging my mother dearest @bright-hao , @tuanm , @jonisuh , @agustminpd

and anyone else who sees this and wants to give it a go <3

#feel free to do this if you want guys <33 and I cant wait to read them if you do #and if we've never talked before #hi!! I hope you're okay with me tagging you and if not please tell me! I totally wont if it makes you uncomfy #but I hope you have fuuun if you want to do this!#hvc #tag

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patriotsnet · 3 years

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Which Republicans Voted For The Impeachment

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/which-republicans-voted-for-the-impeachment/

Which Republicans Voted For The Impeachment

Ial Retraction From Starr

Several House Republicans to vote to impeach President Trump

In January 2020, while testifying as a defense lawyer for U.S. President Donald Trump during his first Senate impeachment trial, Starr himself would retract some of the allegations he made to justify Clintonâs impeachment. Slate journalist Jeremy Stahl pointed out that as he was urging the Senate not to remove Trump as president, Starr contradicted various arguments he used in 1998 to justify Clintonâs impeachment. In defending Trump, Starr also claimed he was wrong to have called for impeachment against Clinton for abuse of executive privilege and efforts to obstruct Congress, and stated that the House Judiciary Committee was right in 1998 to have rejected one of the planks for impeachment he had advocated for. He also invoked a 1999 Hofstra Law Review article by Yale law professor Akhil Amar, who argued that the Clinton impeachment proved just how impeachment and removal causes âgrave disruptionâ to a national election.

Rep John Katko New York

To impeach a sitting president is a decision I do not take lightly, Rep. John Katko of New Yorks 24th Congressional District said in a statement Tuesday.

As a former federal prosecutor, I approach the question of impeachment by reviewing the facts at hand, he said. To allow the President of the United States to incite this attack without consequence is a direct threat to the future of our democracy. For that reason, I cannot sit by without taking action. I will vote to impeach this President.

Dont Miss: Trump Democrat Or Republican

One Voted Last Week Against Certifying Electoral College Results

Ten Republicans voted Wednesday to impeach President Donald Trump, exactly one week after a violent attack on the Capitol by the presidents supporters.;

The Democrat-led House voted 232-197 to approve one article of impeachment against Trump, charging the president with incitement of insurrection.;

The GOP lawmakers who voted to impeach the president from their own party included Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney, the third-highest-ranking Republican in the House. Cheneys vote has prompted House Republicans to call on her to step down as conference chairwoman.

While many in the group have a history of breaking with their party, the yes votes included several with a strong record of supporting Trump and one, South Carolina Rep. Tom Rice, who voted last week against certifying President-elect Joe Bidens Electoral College victory in two states.;

Most Republicans in the House opposed impeachment, with many arguing the hurried process would further divide the country. But for these 10 Republicans who supported impeachment, the fact that Trump incited the riot at the Capitol was indisputable.;

Four Republicans did not vote on impeachment, including Texas Rep. Kay Granger, who recently tested positive for COVID-19. The others were Reps. Andy Harris of Maryland, Greg Murphy of North Carolina and Daniel Webster of Florida.

Here are the 10 Republicans who voted to impeach Trump:;

Also Check: Did Trump Say Republicans Are Stupid

Some Senators Didnt Have An Answer For What They Would Need To See In Order To Vote For The Measure

Republican senators on Friday drowned the hopes of an independent, bipartisan commission to investigate the Jan. 6 insurrection at the Capitol, gathering enough members of their own conference to block legislation to establish the panel.

Though it received overall majority support in the chamber, the procedural vote, a cloture vote on a motion to proceed, to the legislation fell short of the 60 votes needed, 54-35. Sens. Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Susan Collins of Maine, Bill Cassidy of Louisiana, Mitt Romney of Utah, Ben Sasse of Nebraska, and Rob Portman of Ohio were the only Republicans who voted to end debate on whether to take up the legislation.

The vote, which had been expected on Thursday, was delayed after some Republican senators, including Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, consumed floor time that brought the chamber to a painfully slow cadence and culminated at around 3 a.m. Friday morning.

Senate Majority Leader Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y., said he struck an agreement that ensured the commission vote would happen in the light of day and not in the early morning hours.

On Thursday, the family and colleagues of a Capitol Police officer who died shortly after defending the Capitol on Jan. 6 met with several GOP senators to try to convince them to vote for the commission.

Gladys Sicknick met with Johnson Thursday morning and said GOP opposition to the commission is a slap in the face to officers because they put their lives on the line.

Staying Above The Fray

As autumn approaches, the pressure on Bice from within her party appears to be lifting. Oklahoma GOP leaders have said nothing about her since party Chairman John Bennett posted a rebuke on Facebook in May following her Jan. 6 commission vote. Bennetts post is now blocked from public view, and he did not respond to a request for an interview.

Bice, who voted in January to oppose certification of the presidential result in Arizona, has repeatedly given the same explanation for her stance;on both the 2020 presidential election and the Capitol riot, positions she reiterated in an interview with CQ Roll Call.;

She said she wanted to make a statement about the integrity of state lawmakers control over how elections are administered, noting a 2020 state Supreme Court ruling that allowed voters to cast absentee ballots without getting them notarized.

Voting rights advocates said the measure would protect voters during the coronavirus pandemic, but state Republican lawmakers called the decision judicial overreach and rushed a party-line bill through the Legislature restoring the requirement.;

Oklahoma could have become a statistic like other states that had their election laws changed by judicial or executive decree, Bice said. For me, that was something that was very troubling.

Video: Texas GOP working to redraw maps to favor Republicans as Senate Democrats introduce voter protections bill

Read Also: How Many States Are Controlled By Republicans

Rep Anthony Gonzales Republican Who Voted For Impeachment Will Not Seek Re

After being one of 10 House Representatives to vote to impeach former President Donald Trump, Ohio Representative Anthony Gonzalez has chosen to not run for re-election in 2022.

On Thursday, the former NFL wide receiver took to to issue a lengthy statement regarding his decision.

The Republican politician started the press statement by mentioning how his goal within politics was to do his job as long as the voters would allow and work to maintain his family.

“Since entering politics, I have always said that I will do this job as long as the voters will have me and it still works for my family,” said Gonzalez.

Gonzalez then went on to talk about the reasoning behind why he’s chosen to not seek out re-election in 2022.

“Given the political realities of the day, I know this news will come as a disappointment to those who have been involved in our efforts,” said Gonzalez.

“You have given me and my family tremendous strength and courage in the face of much adversity these past few months and years. While my desire to build a fuller family life is at the heart of my decision, it is also true that the current state of our politics, especially many of the toxic dynamics inside our own party, is a significant factor in my decision,” Gonzalez mentioned.

Gonzalez went on to say that he’s hopeful “the chaotic political environment that currently infects our country will only be temporary.”

Michigan Rep Peter Meijer

The freshman Republican, who won a primary last summer in the 3rd District with the backing of House GOP leaders such as Kevin McCarthy, already is cutting an image for himself independent of his party after two weeks on the job. Its less surprising considering that former Rep. Justin Amash, the Republican-turned-independent-turned-Libertarian who split with Trump, held the seat before Meijer. Amash voted to impeach Trump in 2019.;

The scion of the Meijer family, which founded the grocery store chain of the same name, is a veteran of the Iraq War. Trump won the 3rd District, which includes Grand Rapids and Battle Creek, with 51 percent of the vote. Meijer, who turned his campaign operation into a grocery delivery service in the early weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic, outperformed Trump in November, taking 53 percent of the vote.;

Recommended Reading: Did Trump Call Republicans Stupid In 1998

Why Didnt The Trial Begin While Trump Was Still In Office

The articles of impeachment were not sent to the Senate immediately since the Senate wouldnt be in session until the day before Joe Bidens inauguration. The Democrats waited further until an agreement was reached in the Senate for the power-sharing structure that would regulate how the evenly split Senate would operate going forward. Under an agreement with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell the trial was delayed to give the Senate more time to get Bidens nominees for his Cabinet approved.

Also Check: Gop Lapel Pin

Ohio Rep Anthony Gonzalez

President Trump faces Senate trial after historic House vote on impeachment

The two-term lawmaker said in a statement released as the vote was underway that he had concluded that the President of the United States helped organize and incite a mob that attacked the United States Congress in an attempt to prevent us from completing our solemn duties.;

Gonzalez represents the states 16th District, a mostly rural stretch that also includes the suburbs of Cleveland and Canton and which Trump carried by 14 points in 2020, according to Daily Kos Elections. During his tenure on Capitol Hill, Gonzalez has voted to support Trumps position on legislation nearly 90 percent of the time, but the former professional football player couldnt stick with Trump over the riot. When I consider the full scope of events leading up to January 6th including the Presidents lack of response as the United States Capitol was under attack, I am compelled to support impeachment, he added in his Wednesday statement.;

Read Also: House Democrats And Republicans

Impeachment By House Of Representatives

On December 11, 1998, the House Judiciary Committee agreed to send three articles of impeachment to the full House for consideration. The vote on two articles, grand juryperjury and obstruction of justice, was 2117, both along party lines. On the third, perjury in the Paula Jones case, the committee voted 2018, with Republican Lindsey Graham joining with Democrats, in order to give President Clinton “the legal benefit of the doubt”. The next day, December 12, the committee agreed to send a fourth and final article, for abuse of power, to the full House by a 2117 vote, again, along party lines.

Although proceedings were delayed due to the bombing of Iraq, on the passage of H. Res. 611, Clinton was impeached by the House of Representatives on December 19, 1998, on grounds of perjury to a grand jury and obstruction of justice . The two other articles were rejected, the count of perjury in the Jones case and abuse of power . Clinton thus became the second U.S. president to be impeached; the first, Andrew Johnson, was impeached in 1868. The only other previous U.S. president to be the subject of formal House impeachment proceedings was Richard Nixon in 197374. The Judiciary Committee agreed to a resolution containing three articles of impeachment in July 1974, but Nixon resigned from office soon thereafter, before the House took up the resolution.

Democrats Formally Vote To Open Impeachment Inquiry Against Trump

WASHINGTON After weeks of GOP criticism that the U.S. House of Representatives had not formally opened an impeachment inquiry, House Democrats approved a resolution Thursday formalizing the process, though Republicans griped that it was too late.

The House voted 232-196 in favour of the resolution, with all but two Democrats and no Republicans voting in favour of the process. Reps. Jeff Van Drew and Collin Peterson, both Democrats, voted with Republicans, while independent Justin Amash of Michigan voted with Democrats.

The resolution lays out ground rules for the impeachment process, including how much time Republican committee leaders will get to question witnesses, guidelines on how Republicans can call their own witnesses, the process for the White House to respond to congressional inquiries, and the overall impeachment process.

In an attempt to finally get the White House to co-operate with their investigations, the resolution would actually give U.S. President Donald Trump more rights if he and his staff co-operate with congressional subpoenas, but would take some of those rights away if the White House continues not to co-operate.

As Democrats finally called the vote Thursday, U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi sat in the president officers chair and announced the total. There was a spirited, partisan mood on the House floor.

What is at stake? What is at stake in all of this is nothing less than our democracy.

– U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

Read Also: Tim Kaine Lapel Pin Debate

‘blood On His Hands’: Republican Rips Biden Over Afghanistan

Multiple House Republicans announced Tuesday evening they would support the impeachment of President Donald Trump for his role inciting last week’s riot as congressional Republicans made their clearest break with Trump to date after he showed no remorse for the US Capitol mob.

Led By Cheney 10 House Republicans Back Trump Impeachment

WASHINGTON Ten Republicans including Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney, the No. 3 House GOP leader voted to impeach President Donald Trump Wednesday over the deadly insurrection at the Capitol. The GOP votes were in sharp contrast to the unanimous support for Trump among House Republicans when he was impeached by Democrats in December 2019.

Cheney, whose decision to buck Trump sparked an immediate backlash within the GOP, was the only member of her partys leadership to support impeachment, which was opposed by 197 Republicans.

There has never been a greater betrayal by a president of the United States of his office and his oath to the Constitution, said Cheney, whose father, Dick Cheney, served as vice president under George W. Bush. The younger Cheney has been more critical of Trump than other GOP leaders, but her announcement hours before Wednesdays vote nonetheless shook Congress.

Katko, a former federal prosecutor who represents the Syracuse area, said allowing Trump to incite this attack without consequence would be a direct threat to the future of our democracy.

Also Check: Did Trump Call Republicans Stupid In 1998

‘a Win Is A Win’: Trump’s Defense Team Makes Remarks After Senate Votes To Acquit

Despite the acquittal, President Joe Biden said in a statement that “substance of the charge” against Trump is “not in dispute.”

“Even those opposed to the conviction, like Senate Minority Leader McConnell, believe Donald Trump was guilty of a ‘disgraceful dereliction of duty’ and ‘practically and morally responsible for provoking’ the violence unleashed on the Capitol,” Biden’s statement read in part.

The president added that “this sad chapter in our history has reminded us that democracy is fragile. That it must always be defended. That we must be ever vigilant. That violence and extremism has no place in America. And that each of us has a duty and responsibility as Americans, and especially as leaders, to defend the truth and to defeat the lies.”

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., called Saturday’s vote the largest and most bipartisan vote in any impeachment trial in history,” but noted it wasn’t enough to secure a conviction.

The trial “was about choosing country over Donald Trump, and 43 Republican members chose Trump. They chose Trump. It should be a weight on their conscience today, and it shall be a weight on their conscience in the future,” he said in a speech on the Senate floor.

With control of the Senate split 50-50, the House managers always had an uphill battle when it came to convincing enough Republicans to cross party lines and convict a former president who is still very popular with a large part of the GOP base.

South Carolina Rep Tom Rice

Rices vote for impeachment stunned those familiar with the South Carolina lawmakers record as a staunch Trump defender, especially during his first impeachment.;

I have backed this President through thick and thin for four years. I campaigned for him and voted for him twice, Rice;said in a statement;Wednesday evening. But, this utter failure is inexcusable.

Rice voted for motions to object to certifying Bidens Electoral College victories in Arizona and Pennsylvania last week, votes that came after security teams cleared the building of rioters and members returned from a secure location. Rice told local media he waited until the last minute to cast those votes because he was extremely disappointed in the president after the riots and that Trump needed to concede the election. He also said last week that he did not support impeaching the president or invoking the 25th Amendment to remove him from office.;

Rice, a member of the Ways and Means Committee, has supported the Trump administrations position 94 percent of the time over the past four years. He represents a solidly Republican district in the Myrtle Beach area that Trump carried by 19 points in November. Rice, who has had little difficulty holding his seat since his first 2012 victory, won his race by 24 points in November.;

Read Also: Trump 1998 People Magazine Quote

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cum-om-me · 4 years

Text

Personal Entry:

Otter here, first i guess itd be fair to explain a few things up top.

Firstly Otter is a metaphorical alter ego which was created based of a nick name given to me in highh school.

I was coined as "the nomadic Otter" due to my well known history of drifting continuously through this existence being born in a foreign land not to many continents away,but like a gracious river otter flowing with the rivers which eventually reach the seas, i was always stoned more naive, but ironically zen. I was brought here by my single mother at four yrs old, my father was never in the picture nor was i allowed to speak about him or inquire about him to my family and those who may have any information regarding the history of my own coming into being.

We became permanent residents four years later and im currently going through the process of naturalization. I went through the american education system since pre kindergarten so naturalization has occured as an outcome, but just isn't finalized and paid for so i am now going through that initiation. Ive paid and gone through the preliminary round.

We landed in a small town in texas, age four. Came to california at fifteen, twenty years id moved one year to, year and a half due to my mothers profession In the medical field, sometimes, or i guess i should say almost always, we would have to go to where the work was most needed in order to sustain our basic living, taking us all over texas and parts of southern california. After eighteen yrs of age, i left home with duffel bag and a guitar because i wanted to escape the conventual fate planned for me by my elders.

Nature loves courage.... And it is Apparently so.

Of course there are so many factors and so much information to divulge to add the proper context to the point im trying to get to in the conclusion of this story. Im afraid id diverge so ill have to return to all that some other day.

Now that you understand where the otter ego within me (pun intended) was teased and entertained as an ideal character for the person i am, its seeds didnt really start sprouting till last year (2019) and its peaked above the mud, i can explain my newly found understanding of the purpose of using this "alter ego" "character" "avatar" to be able to dissolve the borders of my own limitations as a person creating art. To be able to truly entertain these thoughts through the medium of the otter avatar and not as the man, for it has been increasingly difficult for me to be able to contemplate and philosophize with my peers and the community of souls i once accepted as my tribe, in a way of intellectual taste and progress.. Now it seems the bridges between me and the village are dissolving and im trying to understand why. I stand on the side which i believe to be that of the importance of knowledge of self, critical thinking, and responsible skepticism in order to be able maintain reason within the tribe, to perserve that which is most human in our nature, in comparison to the madness we have seen over and over throughout history displaying itself in obvious patterns of repetition that consumed mobs rabidly, making itself its own enemy. Lets use a symbolic metaphor. The snake eats its own tail in the delusions of unity to find when its finished nothing remains but its mind left exposed, and without protection from even the weakest but competent prey.

You see the metaphors are simply the inner poet, using symbolic visual linguistic tools to paint a clearer picture.

We are a story driven organism, just ask the keepers of morality and the stories of god which has defined the basis of our now hypocritical society using it like a crutch too old to withstand the withering of time, frail and ready to snap like a twig beneath ones feet.

As george carlin once said "no one seems to notice, no one seems to care" and every debate that has naturally transpired in my social structures as of late has lead to a point where logical conclusions, non threatening ones at that, lead to the opposing side raising their white flag and settling for mediocrity. "I dont care, leave me alone"

Then the attack on personality and character are used as a defenses to preserve the beliefs already founded due to the uncomfortable nature of growth.

I sit and watch as i always have the flicker, flame and smell of the bridge burning in blazes right before my teary eyed soul.

Am I no longer included, wanted by the collective community? Has my own pursuit for knowledge, understanding, truth and the inner rapture of personal discovery lead me to ruins door? Am i incapable of getting out of my own way? Can you even go to far within yourself?

No one wants me to feel but its not ok to feel nothing at all

To think but, only on the agreeable subjects of status quo

To speak when spoken to but to only speak what is conveniently easy to digest by a still watered mind threatened by the chaos of waves beating on the shores of its shared sands.

Has erosion driven us mad. Have the corrupted springs poisoned our waters too far beyond repair.

Must i reluctantly recluse amidst the tides and hide underneath lonely currents that travel vast desserts beneath oceans.

Pandemics, parks closed, beaches are now illegal to its native children, by a seemingly upset stepdad whos love is equal to obedience and incapable of parenting,it seems theyre now gunning for the fringe, the free, the open, the love expressed through physical incarnation as its own self love for its own existence, through the odd, differnt, freaks, weirdos, mutants, prophets, and visionaries

Why should i fight for those who dont care about their own person their, own freedom.

Why stand for those who wouldnt even stand with you, nor for you.

"Those who trade freedom for security deserve neither"

-Benjamin Franklin

Yet who am i to claim that anyone deserves anything or doesnt. So regardless of the I Dont Care Generation emerging. I choose to care for not what is principles of good or evil but what i intuitively feel is sincere and right. So I must begin with myself and only in following intention will i be able to incite any real change. By making a difficult choice and knowing that it feels as though the risk is worth the gamble.

So now ive heard loud and clear and i have nothing else to let go of but this. So ill hold my tongue and wish for the best. For the eutopia not the the sneaky slip into distopia.

There's nothing further i can do other than create, experiance, enjoy, let go, and face the music, To put it as Alan Watts did, " this doesnt mean you wont jump when you hear the bang, or that you wont feel fear, but youll accept it, and the person who understands the tao in the morning my sleep peacefully at night"

"Once the mind has been extended it cant ever go back"

-Terrence Mckenna

I hope that you know ive accepted the multitudes of possible outcomes for our future, i may be optimistic but i feel prepared, oddly prepared. This isnt a statement or message based on fear but something none the lesse my heart cannot hold in.

So Otter is born so to speak to embody the imagination im trying to let out without it being taken seriously, but sincerely and within the temple of the timeless. Art.

Without it having to be the me, the person, that funny feeling between the eyes that screams out I, who finds himself walking away from flames due to trial and failure in channeling its own expression. I will not desist i just must evolve and create the platform on which i may rebuild. The system updated and the restart brought about change. Now we begin again. Full of breath, with new found vision, i forgive myself for my failures but i wouldnt ever be able to look at my own reflection if i didnt try until i got it right. I vow to myself and olny to myself for thats the only source of validation needed to exist freely, sovereign, that i will do my best to be who i am meant to be, the being and self of my choosing.

"Most people spend their lives trying to find themselves, lifes about creating yourself"

-Bob Dylan

So in conclusion i know im different, and it may be intimidating but you cant just get rid of it, turns out you must overcome it, and the only way out is through and for me that began when i went within.

I am all for the rules, and being apart of this country and its society and obeying social order but as John Locke wrote in "Common Sense" that this is an unspoken agreement between the govenrment and its people that so long as they are just in ruling us" we will have to obey the law but there must be a way for its people to regain its country when tyranny and injustice is getting in the way of democratic processes and this is coming from a almost fully naturalized immigrant that came here to seek safe haven from a Democratic country plagued by unfairness. It would be a pitty to see it happen to a promise land founded of rich ideals. To those ive come to see as my own brothers and sisters, i love the ideal of true patriotism but where has it gone? If i need to be more protective of my personal privacy so that i may be able to practice my philosophical self studies, music, and comedy, to persue basic creative thinking methods openly. Then i choose this mask nit the one i was told to wear since birth. Theres always an person beneath the mask playing into the drama of this darma and we get into yoga with its fun to preten that we loose ourselves and assume the identity of the character portrayed in the scene in order to truly bring the crowd to the edge of its seat in awe and anticipation of the beauty of its poetry that at the end when the play is concluded both protagonist and antagonist join hands and the audience cheers for both equally for the dazzling deception and its cleverness for playing on the emotions of the observer.

Then the cast returns to the green room and become again who they were naturally.

Im 26 and ive found my character and im ready to submerse myself in its divine play and get involved participate, get lost in the mask of the person which is temporary but the spark behind conciousness seems to be the driving energy of existence benevolent, and eternel. Worth gambling so, now we roll the dice and hit the mystery button, just like the amnesia serum we gave ourselves before conception, into the womb we went. Only when you awaken your consciousness in the dream do you get to control the avatar, lucidly.

It doesnt seem to be a requirement, more like an EXPERIANCE badge rewarded for interesting work in the feild.

These again are ideals, not truths, thoughts and patterns worth examining and if capable entertaining till the conclusions and realizations of truth or delusion run their course. If you havent reached that point you havent really thought it through logistically right?

Lets discuss this comment below.

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peterpparkrr · 7 years

Text

Changing the Tide: An Avengers Fanfic (1/7)

Summary: Wanda Maximoff is the new girl in town and also reconciling with the death of her twin brother, Pietro. As she starts to navigate her new life she manages to stumble into friendship with a group of teens who are surprisingly similar to her

A/N: This is basically just a highschoolAU for the Avengers without powers.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

First days had never really been Wanda’s strong suit. And that had been before the accident. Before she’d switched schools. Before a lot of things.

Wanda had been stressing out about today before her family had even moved. Her twin brother, Pietro, had told her that she didn’t need to worry because - like every year - he would be there beside her to help her through. Unfortunately, things didn’t go to plan. Pietro had been hit by a car a few days after they’d moved, he’d been in the ICU for almost a day before it dawned on Wanda that he wasn’t going to make it and she would be alone.

Wanda pushed all of those thoughts from her head as she walked down the hall. The woman in the main office had already given her all of the paperwork, schedule, map with the classrooms labelled, textbooks, and a late pass for when she got to her first hour.

“Hi, Wanda isn’t it?” She heard as a guy jogged across the hallway to her. Wanda nodded carefully, not trusting herself to say anything yet.

“I’m Clint, Clint Barton, I don’t know if you remember me but -”

“The volunteer at the hospital, yes, I remember you,” Wanda said quietly, staring down at her boots, not trusting herself to look in his eyes. He, Clint, had been the student volunteer on duty when Wanda’s brother had been brought in, he had been the one who had snuck her into his room when they wouldn't let her family see Pietro. “Thank you for that, by the way,” Wanda told him, glancing up at him quickly.

“Of course,” he said, quickly dismissing it, which Wanda was thankful for, she didn’t want people’s first impression of her to be that weird new girl who’d broke down in the hallway before school even started.

“Um,” Wanda said awkwardly, “I’d better get to class.”

“Oh yeah! Sorry, I don’t have a first hour so I usually just hang out,” Clint explained quickly, “If at any point today you need help with any of this, let me know.” He told her before flashing Wanda a kind smile and walking back over to the girl with strikingly red hair he’d been talking to.

Wanda nodded quickly before starting again on her path to room 219, her history class.

When she got to class she gave her pass to the teacher, Mr. Coulson. “Nice to meet you Wanda, you’ll be sitting in that open desk, third row, fourth one back.” He told her, “I’m going to assume you have the textbook?”

“Yeah,” Wanda replied as she made her way to her seat as quickly as possible. As she sat down Mr. Coulson started his lecture up again and Wanda started blankly at him for a moment before realizing she was supposed to be taking notes and started rummaging through her bag for her notebook and a pencil.

As Wanda set her stuff up, she glanced over at the guy sitting next to her, who looked way too old to even be in highschool, trying to figure out what she’d missed and what Mr. Coulson was even talking about. The guy glanced over at her and whispered, “If you want I can give you the notes we’ve already taken this year after class.”

Wanda nodded gratefully before turning back to the front of the class and taking down notes of anything that she could catch Mr. Coulson saying.

When the bell rang she sighed with relief, and turned back to the guy sitting next to her, “Could I um… see you notes now?” Wanda asked him softly.

“Oh yeah, of course.” He replied, handing her his notebook, she flipped through and saw that several pages were filled with notes.

“I thought I was only come into school a week late,” she mumbled.

The guy roared with laughter, making Wanda jump slightly, “Don’t worry about it, it looks like a lot but once you get the hand of Mr. Coulson’s lectures it’s no sweat.” He told her, standing up.

“I didn’t catch your name,” Wanda said, looking up at him, realizing now that he was standing up that he was well over six feet tall.

“Thor,” He said with a wide grin, “And don’t worry about getting those notes back to me, tomorrow in class is fine.” He said before walking out of the classroom.

Wanda stood next to her desk for a moment, dumbfounded before remembering that she had another class to get to and hurried out.

Biology, her next class, was a slightly better situation, she got there with a few minutes of passing time left so she introduced herself to her teacher and got some of the work they had been doing, promising that she would get it done as soon as possible so that she didn’t missing anything else. She then went to sit down at one of the tables towards the back of the class and was surprised to see yet another god-like student hovering next to her, “Hi, do you mind if I sit here?” He asked.

Wanda looked him over, not intentionally, but he was eerily similar to the guy - Thor - from her history class, same blond hair (however, Thor’s was long and shaggy, this guy had it much neater), blue eyes, and almost unnaturally strong build that Wanda had always assumed was reserved for bodybuilders and professional football players, not high school upperclassmen. “Sure,” Wanda said quickly, realizing she’d paused a bit too long.

“I’m Steve Rogers, by the way” He said as he sat down, holding out his hand.

“Wanda Maximoff,” She replied politely, shaking his hand, trying her best to match his manners with her own, “Nice to meet you.”

“You too, now, I probably should have warned you before I sat down, but I’m not amazing when it comes to science, so I’m sorry you’re stuck with me as a lab partner.” He told her, flashing her a grin that shouted All-American-Boy-Next-Door.

“That’s okay, I’m pretty decent at science,” She replied, warming up to him slightly, “As long as you’re okay with me being your lab partner.” She added.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Steve asked, almost jokingly, “As long as I’m not stuck with Tony I don’t care.” nodding towards a kid who looked more normal, besides the fact that he was surrounded by the remains of some sort of machine, and looked like a toaster. He must of heard Steve mention his name and looked over at the two of them, flashing a smirk before turning back to whatever he was trying to do to that toaster. Wanda couldn’t help but note that engineering had nothing to do with Biology but their teacher seemed to just ignore it as she sat at her desk, setting up supplies for their lab.

“Why wouldn’t you want to partner with him, is he that bad of a person?” Wanda asked, turning back to Steve, raising an eyebrow.

“No, heck, we’re friends, I just can’t stand being partnered with a genius for my worst subject,” Steve told her, “Hurts my ego a bit.”

Wanda laughed slightly, “Fair enough, I’ll try not to make fun of you too much then,” she replied. She glanced back at Tony, her instincts told her not to trust him, he seemed like a player, but she trusted Steve already, he had this good-natured aura about him and if he thought someone was good, she figured she would too.

“Sounds good,” Steve told her has the bell rang, signaling the start of class.

#avengers #avengers imagine #avengers fanfic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fanfic #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfic #clint barton #clint barton imagine #clint barton fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfic #tony stark #tony stark fanfic

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itcowcer · 7 years

Text

Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Paul Holland [email protected] 2:05 AM (6 hours ago) to Mark

Heeeeey Mark!

So I know it's been a while, and I wanted to give you a quick heads-up on what’s going on and why I haven’t sent any drafts in recent history. Let's be real, it’s been months. But I want you to know that I haven't just been laying around over here, and that I do have something planned to give to you. It's just not ready yet. Sorry :( Now I'm not trying to tease you; I've hit a wall. What I do have is a bunch of source materials which (I hope) will prove to you that I'm building something, potentially pretty big, for my next novel. That's Right!!!! I've been researching Mark!!!! Who would've thought I knew how. Anyways, I thought this might tide you over until the rough draft or, at the most, spur you to send some seed money..... ;) You will find the sources in the subsequent attachments to this email. I think they kind of speak for themselves, but if you need me to elaborate on what I'm thinking just shoot me a message and I will give you deets.

Pleasure as always [?]

Paul

Paul Holland [email protected] 2:56 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

Whoops! I forgot to attach the sources in that last message. Oh well, I will take better care to attach them this time. I figure I should go ahead and let you know what's going through my head right now, just so we are on the same page. First off, all of this is real. All of this stuff has apparently occurred or is currently occurring, and I've been able to pick up more bits and pieces the longer I've stayed in town (hence the long turn around). Where am I? I don't particularly want to tell you. For that reason I've redacted some information which might clue you into my whereabouts. I'm sure with a certain amount of cyber- sleuthing you'd be able to pinpoint my location, as some of the major points I just cannot change. However by that point I figure it will be too much work for you anyways. DO NOT COME AFTER ME! This story is too good for me to pass up on. I'm only messaging you as a courtesy, and to let you know that I haven't forgotten the money I owe you. I will hopefully be able to pay you back with this novel's completion.

Now onto content. I found this story, of all places, in the newspaper. Yeah it was this grotesque murder which had all of the city community in a hubbub. It was strange too, like ritualistic and such. I've included the short blurb I found in the newspaper, it should be the 3rd attachment. Of course I saved it. I wasn't sure where to go next with my writing and everyone loves true crime or at least a good murder mystery. Then, in the next week, I saw a couple other odd articles (I have attached them as well). One is a letter of resignation from one of the news paper's journalists, due to some kind of journalist ethical concern. Apparently he hasn’t been heard of since. Like completely disappeared. For some reason I was sure that the initial murder, and the later disappearance were related, though I couldn't figure how.

This forced me to dig a little further and I think what I found is captivating at least. Even if I'm grasping at straws I think it tells a compelling narrative, and might sell. I found a small interview, written by the Journalist that disappeared, in regards to a cultural movement within the city. As it turns out this place has a long history of creepy shit, like underground slave prisons, civil war ghosts, a history of catastrophic fires, train accidents, macabre poets, dilapidated asylums turned apartment complexes, and even a vampire legend. No kidding! The guy is entombed down at this old cemetery that overlooks the river. Well the interview is with a member of this group of artists, all of whom were trying to keep this inherent creepiness a part of the city's culture. Though she went by a code name, as all members of Pumpkin Patch do to remain anonymous (in this case kittykat666(=^.^=). I believed that she was the victim in the murder. Having contacted the victim’s parents, I asked if they knew anything about the group Pumpkin Patch. Only the mother would respond, with an invitation to meet with her. Though the meeting was brief, she gave me a series of her daughter's journal entries, a forwarded set of emails between her and her daughter on the topic, and permission to use these things in publishing my next book, so long as I didn't use her daughter's name.

The first attachment is the newspaper interview with kittykat666(=^.^=) It describes really well what the group is about, and how it operates, and it shows you where I'm leaning for main characters (the girl and the journalist). I think it introduces everything well. The second is the girl's journal entries (at least the ones I've deemed relevant). All of these pertain to Pumpkin Patch and they really get you to see who this poor girl was and how she got sucked into this whole mess. The next attachment is the first article blurb I found, the one that describes the murder. The fourth attachment is the letter of resignation from the journalist who interviewed “Kat”. I figure I will just forward those emails that the mother sent to me. There aren't many of them, however there is some character building stuff there. You can see the loving family “Kat” and her mother had before. They also show how the two found Pumpkin Patch. Sorry in advance, the mother has no clue of grammar. I have also included one last attachment, which is unnerving and chilling when you understand how the group finds its inspiration. It's a series of screen shots I took from the group’s auction site. Here, they post a bunch of their work for buyers. They had just posted a new auction when I checked out the site page. Pay attention to the groups shared theme in the artwork.

Whew! That was a lot for an email! Let me know what you think! Paul

Paul Holland [email protected] 2:59 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

-_____-

Paul

Attachment 1, Attachment 2, Attachment 3, Attachment 4, Attachment 5

Paul Holland [email protected] 3:08 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

Weird. Someone just rang the door bell to my apartment. I went to go check and no one was there. I'm a little unnerved, especially given what I've just sent you (that subject matter which is still fresh in my mind). I'm not entirely sure it's nothing, but realistically it’s probably nothing so I'm going to get these emails to you and then cool off. Here you go,

Paul

forwarded message

From: [************] To: [email protected] Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: opportunities ;)

Hey Kit Kat i hope everything is going better. i know that finding friends can be rough in college but im sure there are a ton of great clubs over there. Just get off your little butt and look!!!! :p only teasing. Also your father should be put that money back into ur college fund. Evidently he needed to buy his new gal pal a car lol. The man's no good! Either way i will make sure everything is all set, u just worry about school work and meeting people and HAVING FUN!!! Let me know if you need anything, im just a phone call away!!!

Love, Mom

. . .

Resp:opportunities ;)

Thanks Mom. Everything is fine, I was just a little worried because the tuition bill is overdue and it needs to be paid in order for me to sign up for classes next semester. He's buying her a CAR!!!!! SMH! SMDH! But my classes are going well. I actually turned in my first couple of paintings and the professor really liked them. He told me I thought out of the box, already had a unique style, and that I should keep pushing myself. He said that I might run into trouble when we start doing other forms, but that he'd help me if I need it. I thought that the class wouldn't like my work or be weirded out, but all in all I got good responses and helpful critiques. Some people in my class invited me to hangout, idk I might go.

. . .

Resp:resp:opportunities ;)

Oh kitty thats great! im glad your classes are going well. And you should SPEND TIME WITH THOSE CLASSMATES!!! Jeeesh!!! Also i am not sure what SMH stands for. i tried to think but cant. :( i did some looking because i knew u wouldnt and i found a club that you might enjoy. They are artists in the area who have auction events, have group meetings and they seem to do a lot in the area. it might be the kind of thing to set u on an art career, if thats what u want to do. i just happened to hear about them and i looked up their site. A lot of their work looks right up ur alley! There is a submission section on their page, and maybe u can send in some of you drawings? i was surprised by how much they were selling for, and i think a lot of ur work is better. I will send you the link. There called the Pumpkin Patch. Thats kinda cute!

Love ya! Mom

. . .

Resp:resp:resp:opportunities ;)

Yeah I'll look it up and send something in. I'll also try hanging out with my class, I'm not sure what we will be doing. Thank you for everything. Love you Too! P.s. SMH is Shaking My Head.

forwarded message

From: [************] To: [email protected] Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Remember that group you were talking about? Pumpkin Patch. I submitted one of my works and it got accepted. I think you'd remember the one, it had that spider made out of sewing needles and thimbles, strung up in a wire web, the one that I got an award for in school. The group admin sent me an email and wanted to know why I wanted to join the group so I kinda bullshitted an answer and I guess they liked it. I'm supposed to go to a meeting with them, however I have to wear a mask and create an artist name which is kind of weird. I guess they want all the artists to be anonymous even to each other. I told them that that made me uncomfortable, but they assured me that the meeting will be on campus. I'm going to see what it is and drop it if its too sketch. I guess most meetings are online, but bimonthly meetings are in person.

. . .

Resp:Pumpkin Patch

Kit Kat. Idk this sounds a little scary. i wish i had known all that before i sent you the link. Be careful there are a lot of weirdos out there and i dont want u to get hurt. u are a grown women and i hope you will use you best discretion. There is always your classmates, and maybe starting a group with them would be better for you. How did that go with them? I expect you to call me soon.

Be safe, Mom

. . .

Resp:resp:Pumpkin Patch

Please don't freak out but I ended up going to that meeting. It was cool though. We kind of just sat around, discussing what the next theme will be, what scary movies we like that kind of thing. We also planned a little get together at a museum. There are a couple other girls there so I think it's fine. I kind of know one of the people in the group too, although I'm not supposed to. He was actually one of the guys I hung out with last week. He's not in my art class but he is a year above us so everyone knows him. He sort of let it slip that he was in the Pumpkin Patch when we were all hanging out. He assured me that it wasn't going to be weird and that the mask thing was more like a gimmick than anything else, to make the group interesting. That night with my class was fun too, we just sat around a fire pit talking, eating hot dogs, sharing stories. Somebody had a guitar and they all started singing these old songs. They are a good group. I'm going to spend time with them again.

. . .

Resp:resp:resp:Pumpkin Patch

Well im glad that you had a good time. Just remember to be careful, and that u dont have to do anything u dont want to, and CALL YOUR MOTHER. Also im glad you met some nice people. Is there anyone I should be meeting anytime soon? ;)

Please call, I worry Mom

forwarded message

From: [************] To: [email protected] Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: What's Up!!!

Hello Kathryn? Im not sure if you remember me, however im YOUR MOTHER! What's been going on? u haven't called me in a while. I hope you've started thinking about housing for next year. Dont worry about the price its all being paid for by ur father. Also I see that you have another exhibition thingy coming up with your Pumpkin Patch. Im thinking about coming down and rooting u on, seeing as u failed to mention the last one. What do you think?

. . .

Resp:What's Up!!!

Yeah I've been looking at some places. Some friends and I are thinking about getting an apartment together a little off campus. I will let you know what we find. Also that first exhibition wasn't a big thing, and I didn't think you'd want to miss work for it. This next one's not a big deal either and I'm not even going to be there, we aren't supposed to associate with or present our work in order to retain the whole aura of mystery. We can still check it out if you want, we just can't let anyone know that I'm a collaborating artist. Also I can't tell you which work is mine, sorry. :/ We can go to this nice little french restaurant after. I just went there recently with a close friend of mine, it just might be my favorite place in town now :3. Let me know when you're in the area.

forwarded message

From: [************] To: [email protected] Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: New Exhibition

Hey Mom, I know that there is another exhibition coming up, however I'd prefer that you didn't come to this one. I had fun last time, it's just that I don't think I'd be comfortable with you being there. Also I've decide to leave the group. I just didn't like where it was going and it didn't feel the same as when we first started. That's part of the reason why this latest exhibition would be no good. Also things are falling through at the apartment so I'm trying to find another one for the rest of the semester. I'll send you the places I've found. So far the rent will only be slightly more expensive. Also my roommates already have someone lined up to sublet so we don't have to worry about paying for two places. I will call you soon, and I love you.

Kat

Mark Gergich [email protected] 7:13 AM (1 hour ago) to Paul

Paul,

I just read through everything you’ve emailed me. The forwards, the attachments... everything. Paul Pick up the phone, let me know where you are, I am concerned. I think you may have stumbled onto something that needs to be taken care of by the police. Please Paul. Do not write this book. Don't worry about debts you think you owe me, I'm not worried about that I just want you to come out of this safely without a target on your back. You need to STOP writing this book.

Your friend and publisher, Mark

Paul Holland [email protected] 8:06 AM (3 Minutes ago) to Mark

Mark,

He says I can’t.

Paul

#pumpkinpatch #PP #itcowcer #writing

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distantcowboysounds · 4 years

Text

Last Dance

Ive deadass never mentioned Viaiss outside of my friends before but we’re all simping for him so here’s a little story about his history. Its also on AO3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23696863

------------------------------------------------------------

The soft scratching of quill against paper and the chirping of crickets songs were the only sounds to be heard in the warm night. Sorndil sat in his tent hunched over an oaken desk as he wrote a letter to his superior. Focusing on the note to distract himself from the restlessness he felt.

4E 41,

Tomorrow my regiment will march into Sentinel to find and kill the refugees. We have been told they are hiding in the slums of the city, waiting on a boat to take them to Daggerfall. So far we have at least 38 confirmed refugees, 24 adults, and 14 children. I-

The shuffling of his tent door pulled the commander’s attention away from his writing. “Sorndil, you awake?” The voice was familiar, holding a deep comfort behind it. An Altmer soldier poked his head in, smiling widely to see the other was still awake at such an hour.

“You know that you should be asleep and that leaving quarters this late is against the code. I could write you up for this Neren.” While Sorndil spoke with a serious tone his face wore a soft smile as he stood to greet the man. “Did anyone see you sneak out?”

The other mer walked into the tent and quickly hugged the other. “Of course not, you know how careful I am. Stop doubting me so much.” He spoke with a playful tone but they both knew how serious it would be if they were caught, a commander and a soldier in such a relationship wasn’t unheard of. But between two men would have them tortured until they repented their feelings. Though the thoughts and stress of the night seemed to melt away as Sorndil accepted the embrace, resting his head on the other's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist and let out a deep sigh. A soft purr escaped his throat as Neren ran his fingers through his long sandy hair, gently pulling it free from its hold. “I missed you…” Neren whispered, placing a soft kiss against the tip of the man's ear.

Sorndil leaned into the feeling, happy to be in his friend’s embrace. “I know, I’ve missed you too. Been so much to do to prepare the troops for tomorrow. Check the armor, make sure the soldiers know their marks, get the mages ready and well-rested, mentally prepare them for what’s to come, research the city layout-”

The commander’s words were stopped by the feeling of lips against his own, he breathed out through his nose and pressed into the kiss. A smile pulled at his lips as the other pulled away. “Shut up Sorndil, don’t talk about tomorrow. How are you feeling?”

He pulled away from his friend’s embrace and moved to sit on the cot, giving his arms a stretch. “Restless. I can’t sleep no matter how hard I try.” He tapped his foot on the ground anxiously as he watched his friend scan over the letter he had previously been writing. “Been thinking about the future too much.” Neren turned away from the desk and knelt down in front of the other, placing his hands on the man’s knees. “How so?”

Sorndil sighed heavily, leaning forward so he was touching foreheads with his friend. “Been thinking bout us, about this…” He looked into the other’s eyes, gently running fingers over the others hands. “You know we won’t be able to keep this going. I’m going to be married once we return to the Isles and it's been getting risky, I mean, us being men and…” He let his voice trail off as he looked to the dirt below them.

“I know… I know…” Neren replied, giving the mer’s knee a tight squeeze. “Maybe we should run away. Start a new life. Do you remember how beautiful Elsweyr was? Maybe we can find a place there.”

Sorndil laughed a little at his friend’s offer. “Oh and we’d have to change our names too, you’ve always looked more like a Hirilin than a Neren to me.”

“Oh, Hirilin! I like that, what about you my friend? I think you look like…” He paused with a hum as he looked over Sorndil’s face. “I think you look like a Viaiss.” They laughed with each other, holding hands like a pair of young lovers. Sorndil thought about how right it felt to be with his friend like this, holding each other and making up little fantasies about a future they knew wouldn’t happen. There was a sadness that hung around the pair, but it was fun and it made all the stress of tomorrow feel like it was years away.

“And what will we be in Elsweyr? Mercs maybe? Or would we join a guild?”

Neren nodded before standing, striking a dramatic pose. “Ya know I’ve always wanted to be a monster hunter! We could go and hunt vampires, werewolves, clear caves of necromancers that are tormenting the local villages!” Sorndil laughed as he was pulled to his feet by his friend’s tight grasp. “Or maybe we could hide away, have our own little home. A farm.”

“Imagine us as farmers. We’d be dead by Frost Fall. But monster-hunting would be fun, we could be the bane of all evil creatures.” He smiled and put his hands on either side of his friend’s face, rubbing his thumb over old scars as he looked into fiery eyes. “As long as you’re with me, I don’t care what we do. We could be beggars in the streets of Vvardenfell and I'd still be just as happy.” He sighed and pressed a kiss to his lover’s lips before a wave of reality washed over him. That could never happen… You have a fiance waiting for you, a planned life ahead of you. Running away isn’t an option. Stop dreaming Sorndil. “If only we could…”

“Well… let’s pretend. For tonight, okay?” Neren gave a warm smile to the other. “Tonight I’m Hirilin, a renowned monster hunter and loved by many. And you are Viaiss, my lover and one of the best warriors in the whole of Nirn.” Sorndil returned the others' smile with his own, though a lining of sadness sat with his.

“Alright… Hirilin, what are we doing tonight?"

The other smiled and pressed a kiss to the man’s cheek. "Let’s share a dance, to celebrate our love."

Sorndil- no... Viaiss laughed softly. "A dance it is then." He took his friend’s hand in his own while the other rested on the man’s waist. "You know I’ve never been much of a dancer though."

The other mer smiled brightly, giving a squeeze to Viaiss' hand. "Neither am I, but I’m sure we can figure it out." Neren, no, Hirilin. Hirilin placed his hand onto the other’s shoulder, slowly beginning to sway side to side and humming a soft tune.

The dance was clumsy, each man stepping on the other’s foot and nearly tripping several times. But it wasn’t a concern of theirs. With every misstep and stumble the pair laughed a little, peppering each other with gentle kisses. Every worry for tomorrow, for the rest of their lives, washed away as they danced with another.

“I never want this to end…” Viaiss mumbled against the other’s neck, taking in his scent. The way this man made him feel was unlike anything he’d experienced before, no woman had made his heart feel like it was filled with butterflies. No woman’s touch had ever sent sparks along his body before. No woman had ever made him feel so deeply.

The hand on his shoulder ran up to caress the side of his face gently. “Me neither. I hate the Isles so much… there’s nothing wrong with us, with this. I wish… I wish we weren’t Altmer.” The words resonated so deeply with him, the Altmer were such a harsh race. If anyone found out about their relationship the men would be tortured until they were half dead, and if they were lucky they'd be thrown in jail after. Viaiss shuttered at the idea, he’d felt a lash from a fire whip before and he’d never forget the feeling for as long as he lives. If that's how the Thalmor dealt with a Soldier missing a step in a march… what did they do to those caught breaking the law?

“I… I don't like it either...“ He let out a deep sigh as he looked up to the other mer, running his hand over the man's long ear. “It seems like every other race can accept two men in a relationship, but not our own. If only things were different… But they aren't, this is what we were given. We have to live like this.”

The other's ears flattened as he shook his head. “No we don't. We could change, we could run away, start a new life.” His heart ached as he watched tears brim in the others eyes. “We could leave tonight.”

“Neren, oh Neren… You know what would happen if we ran. We would be hunted, the bounty the Thalmor would put on our heads… My family wouldnt rest until we were both dead.” He ran his fingers over the teary eyed mer’s cheeks, leaning close to press a kiss against his lips. “Gods know how badly I want to run with you, but I… if my family wasn't so important I would.” He looked into the others intense orange eyes, immense pain filling his chest. “I love you, I always will. You know that right?”

“I know, I know my friend. I'm sorry I just wish there was a way where we could actually be more than this.” He shook his head gently. “I don't want to ruin this moment. Let’s just focus on the here and now.” He gave a smile, a thin veil to hide the sadness. “Can you do one thing though?” The commander nodded as he looked at his friend. “Promise that I’ll be the only man you ever share a dance with? I know you’ll have to dance with your wife… but I want to be the only man that can dance with you. I just...”

That broke the mer, he pulled his friend into a tight embrace planting a loving kiss on the man's lips. They stayed like that for a long while. “Of course. I would never dream of dancing with any other man then you. Not that I know any other men I could dance with even if I wanted to.” He gave a loving look to his friend, a smile pulling at his lips. “We’re supposed to be celebrating, right Hirilin?”

The other laughed softly. “That’s right Viaiss. We were celebrating after slaying an entire den of vampires.”

“Yes! Tough work that was, I think we deserve a reward. How lucky of us that the local Khajiit were so kind as to pay us in Skooma.” He smiled slyly, moving away from his friend to dig into a chest, pulling a diary out. Though this one sat with blank pages, a cutout where there should’ve been notes and stories of battle. Viaiss pulled a small pink bottle from the cutout before disregarding the book back onto a pile of clothing. He smiled at the other mer, pulling the cap free from the bottle. The scent of moon sugar filled the room, causing both mer’s mouths to water. Hirilin made his way over as he spoke. “Great idea Viaiss! I’m sure it will help us relax our muscles after fighting off a hundred bloodsuckers and saving the local priestess.” He took the bottle before taking half of it down. “The Khajiit are so kind.” Viaiss laughed a little as he took the bottle back and finished it off.

“Great idea indeed. Now let's sit before it hits.” Though he intended to sit on the bed, Hirilin pulled him to a rug that laid over the dirt. He didn't object to the idea, though he knew where it was heading. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. If we wrestle I plan on winning.” A laugh left the commander’s lips as he grabbed the other’s wrists and pushed him flat to the ground.

The men laughed as they rolled around on the ground, grabbing at each other's hands and clothing to try to get the other pinned. Viaiss ended up sitting on Hirilin's thighs before the wave of euphoria hit and he fell onto the other man's chest. Dizzy, but beyond happy. "I… winnnn…" He mumbled with slurred words, mind spinning as the effects of the drug took hold. Nothing mattered in that moment as he lay on his best friend’s chest, listening to the man’s heartbeat and letting his mind get lost to the drug. This was a rare treat for both of them, something to take the edge off of a long life. How many rules have I broken with you Neren? Viaiss thought. They'd been friends for well over 20 years and every time he got in trouble, his friend wasn’t far behind. Though he found no reason to complain about this, the memories were fun enough to forget about the punishments that followed.

Hands found themselves tangling in the other’s messy brown hair. "Runaway… 'ith mmmmee…" The slurred voice of Hirilin sounded, causing a longing ache to settle itself into Viaiss' chest. Gods knew how badly he wanted to, but he had a duty to serve and a life that was set for him.

He could barely muster the energy to lift his head, but he forced his body to move up along the other. Settling when he was at the crook of his friend’s neck. "Want to." Viaiss could barely huff out the words, his mind nothing more than jumbled fog. "So bad…" He lifted his head and kissed the other, sloppy but it had made a point. "Love you… so much…" He dropped his head back down, every part of his body felt like it was being dragged through sand.

Hirilin breathed out softly, hands resting on the other man's back. “Love you too. Never… leave mmmy side. Please…”

Viaiss nodded into the man's neck. “Never. Promise.” Even just thinking was getting too hard for the men as they lay on the ground. The commander finally let the skooma high drag him into a deep sleep, knowing his lover would be able to get back to the barracks before morning.

#oc: Viaiss Spellal #OC Writing #OC #skyrim oc #elf oc #Skyrim #writing

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6gpymfzi-blog · 5 years

Text

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jennmoslek36 · 5 years

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SO MANY OF the Dozier related posts on Finding Florida have been about the school itself. I’ve written about the dark history, the structures & our experiences BUT I’ve only really spoken of the victims, in generalities. This was never done on purpose; It was mostly out of respect to the victims, those who survived & those who did not, & of course the families of both groups. It may have also been a way to avoid getting too close & personal; At the end of the day I’m a mom of a 9-year-old & an Auntie to a 5-year-old, both boys. To look at them knowing that boys of the same age were forcibly plucked from their homes & placed into an environment that would change, if not end their lives makes me physically ill. Whatever the reason, it’s time to talk about the MOST important part of this entire endeavor, the reason why I’m willing to continue this uphill battle:

THE BOYS…

A MOTHER’S FIGHT FOR JUSTICE

IT WAS A late December night when I would get a call that would again change the direction that I was going. I answered & heard “Jenn, It’s Dawn Chase.” I was floored. I had seen her son’s story & had felt compelled to send her an email a couple of months before. The problem was that the open letter that she had posted on the website was written years before. I knew I was taking a chance using the contact info that had been attached to it but what did I really have to lose at that point? Thankfully, she did happen to see my email!

DURING THAT CALL, I told her about what I was trying to do & what had happened so far. I also told her about how I had gotten her son’s name to begin with. He had been the very last name on a list of about 15 other boys that another former Dozier boy had given to me. This list was different than the others…The Boys on this list had ALL served time at the Arthur G. Dozier School for Boys in the 2000’s & EVERY single one of them could attest to the abuse that was happening at the school. These Boys were “Game Changers!” NOT only would they be able to back up the claims of the Whitehouse Boys that had been there in the 50’s & 60’s BUT they could also offer proof that the abuse NEVER stopped. Marianna didn’t care about changing OR righting the wrongs of the past; They just wanted it ALL to go away, whatever the cost may be. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s a pretty safe bet that there were kids being beaten until the very day that Dozier closed its doors in 2011.

A LIFE INTERRUPTED

HIS NAME IS Christopher Sholly. He is a son, a brother, an uncle, an aspiring model…And yes, he is also yet another unfortunate victim of the Arthur G. Dozier School for Boys. Chris’s story runs a bit broader though as Dozier would be only one of many stops in Florida’s Juvenile Justice system; ALL would fail him miserably. What started as a couple of tees having a fight at school would result in a 13-year-old boy becoming entangled in Florida’s corrupt Juvenile Justice System for the next 4 years; ONLY ending when he would be herded into the dark abyss of adult prison life. There would be NO trying out for his high school sports team, NO nervous fidgeting while he attempted to ask a girl to homecoming OR prom. He wouldn’t even have the luxury of celebrating the remaining birthdays of his teenage years at home with his family. All of the things that most of us take for granted.

IT WOULD BE the Fall of 2004 when Chris would 1st come into contact with the Arthur G Dozier School for Boys. Near completion of his program at the Jackson Juvenile Offenders Center (JJOCC), he was looking forward to finally going home & getting on with his life. Claiming that they needed to free up spots for Juveniles that were considered “flight risks”, Chris was sent to Dozier.

HE WAS ASSURED that his credits from the JJOC program would transfer with him, So he believed that he would complete his remaining time at AGDSB & be released on schedule. By now, we ALL know that Dozier doesn’t offer happy endings. Chris would be NO exception.

FROM THE MOMENT he stepped foot onto the campus, he was taunted, severely beaten & verbally assaulted. When he wasn’t being personally abused, he had to witness others receive the same treatment. But Chris did his best to stick it out, knowing he was only a matter of weeks from getting his life back. It would be when he started to fear for his life that he would finally say something.

DURING A PHONE call with his mom, Chris had the courage to tell her what was happening at the school. His mom, doing what most loving moms would do, immediately went to authorities. The Florida Department of Children & Families (DCF) was called in to “investigate.”

And….

NOT ONE FREAKING thing happened! Now maybe a proper investigation was done & it was decided that this was just another case of a pissed off “juvenile delinquent” throwing around claims of abuse to get back at everyone for locking him up. That’s just got to be the case, right??

IF THAT THOUGHT crossed your mind, I can assure you that you couldn’t be more wrong! As it turns out, the DCF caseworker assigned to investigate the claims of abuse was conveniently related to a Dozier staff member. But NOT just ANY staff member …It was THE staff member accused of abuse.

RETALIATION

IT MAKES ME sad to think about what so many children are now privy to at such a young age. It goes way beyond a child finding out that “Santa’s NOT Real” OR discovering that NOT all fairytales will have a happy ending. It’s realizing that the “Boogeyman” not only exists BUT takes the form of a man who is given too much power & has too much evil & hate inside. Being in such a position could be a good thing, if you decide to use that power to impact a child’s life positively. Obviously, most of the Dozier staff made a very different choice OR we’d all be hearing an entirely different story today. Yet, how powerful can you possibly be when your chosen victim is a child?

THE ANSWER IS quite simple; Beating a 13-year-old unconscious OR breaking his bones does NOT make a king BUT a coward. These real life “Boogeymen” would finally meet their match in the form of a teenaged boy. He may have been scared to death of not getting to go home OR worse, NOT making it out of the system alive, yet he decided to stand up for what was right.

“BUT I’M NOT AN ADULT”

IN SPITE OF the extreme retaliation that he would face, Chris would continue to report the abuse to his mom during their phone calls. She, in turn, began a crusade to get her son out of Dozier. Dawn spent her days reaching out to ANY official that she thought could help. She wasn’t going to stop until her boy was either transferred to another facility OR was sent home. Chris would eventually be transferred out of Dozier, though it wouldn’t be in a positive way. With approximately 6 years left until Dozier would finally close its doors for good, they weren’t about to allow another blemish to mark their record. The superintendent came up with a plan to keep that from happening; File assault charges on Chris stating that he had assaulted a guard & this time, they would make sure that he wouldn’t step foot inside another juvenile facility…This time he would be charged as an adult.

EVEN WITH THE evidence & witness testimony supporting Chris’s version of events, the corruption ran too deep…At just 17 years old, Chris became a child inmate sent to serve his sentence in a VERY adult prison.

ALTHOUGH I DID my best to tell Chris’s story, I barely scratched the surface of what he’s gone through. Fortunately, he kept a detailed journal documenting what he went through & with the help of his mom, compiled entries, letters & other important info…They then made ALL of the content public. If you’re interested in hearing his account, here is the link:

https://christophersholly.blogspot.com/2007/04/christopher-shollys-diary-abused-in.html?m=1

I STRONGLY SUGGEST taking a few minutes to read through these entries… Besides, who better to tell this story but Chris himself?

♤Please Consider Helping In The Fight For Justice By Signing The 1st Petition: https://www.change.org/p/jenn-moslek-re-investigation-of-the-arthur-g-dozier-school-for-boys

☆ IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW SUFFERED ABUSE, PASSED AWAY, WENT MISSING OR WITNESSED ANY WRONGDOINGS WHILE AT “THE FLORIDA INDUSTRIAL SCHOOL FOR BOYS” AKA “THE ARTHUR G. DOZIER SCHOOL FOR BOYS” OR THE OKEECHOBEE SCHOOL FOR BOYS, PLEASE REACH OUT VIA HERE AT findingflorida.blog OR ANY OF THE CONTACT INFO LISTED BELOW!!☆

Want More “Finding Florida?” BE SURE TO “SUBSCRIBE”! FOR PRIVATE CONTACT SEND EMAILS TO: [email protected]

FOR ALL DOZIER RELATED INFO:

http://thewhitehouseboysonline.com

AND

http://www.whitehouseboys2007.com

FOR FULL PHOTO GALLERIES & ADDITIONAL LOCATION INFO FOLLOW ME ON FB AT: @GRAVEAdventuresFL

INVESTIGATING DOZIER: Christopher… SO MANY OF the Dozier related posts on Finding Florida have been about the school itself. I've written about the dark history, the structures & our experiences BUT I've only really spoken of the victims, in generalities.

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wellpersonsblog · 5 years

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The 7 Supplements I Take, 2019 Edition

Yep, seven. Kind of a lot for a “whole foods” guy, right?

Don’t worry, I’ll explain.

If you’re even a casual NMA reader, you know it’s been a loooong time since I wrote two blog posts in a week. We’re talking years, I think.

Well, I’m here to boldly declare that I’m back. My goal for the year, No Meat Athlete’s 10th anniversary year, is to write a blog post per week, on average. Not because I should, but because I really want to — the time away has renewed my enthusiasm. And after going for so long without writing regularly, I’ve got a lot I’m excited to share.

But writing more is just one of my goals. This year, I gave myself permission to set a bunch of them — not just one or two, like I usually tell people is best — and to make them BIG.

Upgrading the OS

It didn’t take long, though, for me to realize that in order to do more, my “operating system” needs to be better — which means upgrading my daily habits, and to pay particular attention to nutrition, since that affects just about everything else.

For several years now I’ve been careful to cover the bases: vitamin B12, vitamin D, and DHA/EPA, just to safeguard myself against common deficiencies of a vegan diet (and many other diets, too, by the way). But now I’m paying more attention to things like sleep, recovery from workouts, nagging injuries, and even long-term prevention — and because of that, I find myself both more diligent and more experimental with supplements.

Don’t worry, this isn’t the post where Matt turns into a biohacker. In general, my philosophy is still “whole foods first,” and probably always will be. (Not the store — in that case, it’s actually “Whole Foods second,” after we’ve gotten everything we can at a cheaper place!)

In fact, you’ll see that several of what I call “supplements” actually are whole foods; it’s just that I take them like a robot would take fuel. If robots ran on fuel.

So here goes. I’ve listed the daily dose I take next to each.

1. Complement (provides B12, D3, and DHA/EPA) — This one is actually a three-for. I’ve written about Complement at length, since it’s the supplement I created, so I won’t spend long on this one. In a nutshell, here’s why the nutrients it provides are so important:

Vitamin B12 (1000mcg) is just about a no-brainer for vegans. I know there are still a few purists out there who say we can get enough B12 from dirty produce, but I just don’t see the point. Even many non-vegans are deficient in B12, and when I didn’t take it in my first few years of being vegan, I experienced symptoms of deficiency. So I take it, and make sure my kids do too.

Vitamin D3 (2000IU) is the best form of vitamin D, which our bodies make in response to sunlight. Unfortunately, the combination of our modern, indoorsy lifestyles (plus knowledge about the dangers of UV exposure) and a plant-based diet leaves many of us “D-ficient.” Dr. Greger and others recommend supplementing with 2,000 IU of vitamin D daily, so that’s what I take.

Finally, DHA (300mg) and EPA (70mg) are two long-chain omega-3 fatty acids that are important for brain health. We can get ALA, which is another omega-3, from vegan foods like flaxseeds and walnuts, so many vegans assume they’ve got omega-3’s covered. But it turns out that although some people can efficiently convert ALA into DHA and EPA, many cannot. I haven’t done the testing to know whether I or my wife and kids can, so that’s why I take it in supplement form, derived from algae.

You can learn more about Complement here, but see the note at the bottom of this blog post first.

2. Creatine (5g) — This is strictly for building muscle and increasing strength, so I only take creatine when I’m trying to bulk up or doing a strength sport. Creatine is an amino acid that our bodies do make, so it’s not essential. And although we’re completely fine without it, I find it absolutely helps me to build muscle, and the extra motivation that comes from that is reason enough to take it, given that it’s well-studied and appears to be completely safe. (There’s some evidence to suggest creatine helps vegetarians perform better on tests of memory, too.)

3. Magnesium (350mg) — As I mentioned in a recent podcast episode (“Matt’s Quest for Deeper Sleep”), lately I’ve been obsessed with increasing the amount of deep sleep I get each night, as measured by an OURA ring that tells me how much time I spend in each sleep phase.

I get plenty of total sleep, and plenty of REM sleep, but very little deep sleep (which, oddly, is not as “deep” as REM). Deep sleep is very important for tissue repair and recovery. I haven’t figured out whether my body just happens to need less deep sleep than others, or whether it’s something about my diet, lifestyle, and sleep habits that prevents me from getting more of it.

I’ve been experimenting with a lot of small changes, ranging from obvious ones — like eliminating light from my bedroom at night and limiting screen time after about 7pm — to making changes to my diet (especially around caffeine and alcohol) and supplementing.

Magnesium is a mineral that’s associated with improved sleep and helpful in the absorption of iodine (see below), so it’s a natural one to test.

I’ve only been taking magnesium for 10 days or so, but I suspect that it’s responsible for adding roughly 10 minutes of deep sleep each night. Which doesn’t seem like much, but when I typically only get 30 minutes or so, I’ll take whatever I can get!

Once I figure this shiz out, I’ll write a whole blog post about my sleep project.

‘Supplements’ that are Actually Food

4. Brazil nut (1 small one provides ~100mcg selenium) — We don’t need much selenium, but we absolutely need it. Selenium deficiency is linked to certain cancers, Alzheimer’s disease, and Parkinson’s disease. And, thanks to soil depletion, most plant-based diets are low in selenium. Luckily, a single, small Brazil nut each day provides more than enough. So I eat one a day, in my smoothie, and selenium is taken care of.

(Incidentally, one of the reasons I love the daily smoothie is that it’s easy to toss in things like a Brazil nut, flaxseeds, a slice of turmeric… things I want to eat each day but don’t show up in my diet on their own.)

5. Iodized salt (60mcg iodine per quarter-teaspoon salt) — Let’s be clear here, there’s no reason to supplement with salt; in fact we should limit our intake. It’s the iodine that I want; the fortified salt just happens to be a convenient way to get it.

Iodine used to be in our soil, but with modern agriculture, it’s less plentiful in our food than it once was. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, except that iodine deficiency affects two billion people (!) and is the leading preventable cause of intellectual and developmental disabilities.

Which is why they put it in our salt. Except we vegans like to be natural, so many of us choose unrefined sea salt… which usually doesn’t have iodine added to it.

Non-vegans actually get some iodine from the cleaning products used on dairy processing equipment that make their way into the milk, so it’s less a concern for them. Vegans should make sure we have an iodine source, whether supplemental or with fortified salt.

6. Tart cherry juice (1oz concentrate or 8oz juice) — Tart cherry juice has been shown to reduce inflammation and muscle soreness after workouts, which is why I’ve been a fan for a long time.

Most days out of the week now, I do Muay Thai, a form of kickboxing, and get pretty beat up in the process. So I have a renewed interest in the benefits tart cherries provide.

I don’t like to drink any juice on a daily basis; in general whole fruit is much better. But immediately after workouts is one time when juice may be one of the best things we can consume, for its speed in reaching the bloodstream. So that’s when I try to take my tart cherry juice, about an ounce a day.

7. Turmeric (1 tsp ground or a quarter-inch slice fresh) — Faddish, perhaps, but I think turmeric is legit. There’s a lot of research about how it can help with everything from muscle repair to recovering from hospital surgery, not to mention reducing the risks of cancer and heart disease.

Dr. Greger recommends either a quarter-teaspoon of ground turmeric or a quarter-inch slice of the fresh root daily. Fresh and ground actually do different things, so I try to mix them up, and almost always eat it in combination with black pepper to increase bioavailability.

If I don’t use ground turmeric in cooking or don’t add a slice of fresh to my smoothie, then at night I’ll take it in pill form (turmeric, not just curcumin). But I much prefer getting it in whole-food form.

Blurring the Food/Supplement Line

I actually could go further with the “foods I view as supplements” list, but there’s not a clear dividing line between these and the rest of my food.

For example, green tea. I don’t really drink it like tea: in order to extract the most nutrients, I steep it at close to boiling temperature and for much longer than the tea-types recommend, producing a drink far more tannic and bitter than green tea traditionally is. Or I’ll put the tea leaves directly into my smoothie, not for flavor but for nutrition. Similar with flaxseeds — I don’t eat them as snacks like I do other nuts and seeds; instead I just add them to my smoothie because I know how healthy they are.

But I had to draw the line somewhere. So I did.

What’s Missing?

Believe it or not, there are two other supplements I believe I should be taking, but am not, simply because it’s not convenient to take more pills and I’ve been lazy about it. These are zinc and vitamin K2, both of which are likely deficiencies in plant-based diets.

Zinc: Beans provide plenty of zinc; the problem is that the phytates in beans interfere with absorption. Zinc may be especially important for heart health, and given family history, this is important to me.

K2: Vegans can get plenty of K1 from leafy greens, but K2 isn’t found in almost any plant-based foods, especially not in the West. (It is in natto, a Japanese, fermented soy product, but unfortunately not in tempeh, sauerkraut, or other fermented foods in reliable and appreciable amounts.) K2 is important for both bone and heart health, so not something I want to be missing.

To the Rescue…

Good news here, though. This week, an upgraded version of Complement, called Complement Plus, ships for the first time. (Mine is supposed to arrive today!)

It’s in capsule form instead of a spray, and for me will drastically simplify my supplementation routine, not just by filling the zinc and K2 void, but also by providing iodine, selenium, magnesium (all of which I’m currently making the effort to get into my diet), and of course the “Big 3” that are already in Complement.

When I first announced Complement Plus last year as a pre-order, we sold through everything we had allocated for it. But now we’ve got a few hundred bottles from this first shipment that we can sell, so next week I’ll send the details about how to get a special NMA-reader discount on Complement Plus.

If you’re thinking about getting Complement or Complement Plus, I’d join the email list and wait until then.

It feels great to be writing again. Look for a new post from me next week, and every week after that!

The post The 7 Supplements I Take, 2019 Edition appeared first on No Meat Athlete.

First found here: The 7 Supplements I Take, 2019 Edition

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