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#but for now ✨ advertising ✨
mothwingedmyths · 2 years
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The lore thing is positive btw
Edit: THIS HAS GOTTEN ALMOST AS MANY NOTES AS THE OUTSIDER BRAINCELL THING IN A SINGLE DAY. WHAT THE HECK (although I don't have a problem with it this time lol)
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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you may now kiss the kazuki—
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astrxealis · 2 years
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this is mega late and i’m so so sorry, but your feelings towards genshin is totally valid!! nothing wrong with how you feel! /gen
if it makes you feel better, i share similar feelings. i really enjoy the characters and lore, but the actual gameplay of it has me SOOOO tilted LMAO!! if someone has a problem with you not being so connected to gi then that’s on them, but i can guarantee that so many people are going to be with you every step of the way no matter what you decide on.
write and immerse yourself in what YOU want to and if you want to slowly distance yourself from it that’s totally okay and understandable. i know nothing about ffxiv but if you wrote something i’d be down to give it a read! this is your blog and do what makes you happy!
EVEEE HELLO !!! pls pls don’t worry abt it at all, i didn’t really mean for anyone to even reply in the 1st place (even tho ofc it’s greatly appreciated) AAA <33
THANK YOU!! i’ll definitely try my best to put to heart and remember all you and everyone have told me T~T and FBSHBBD HELP FR FR YEAH T___T 🤝💔 :O thank you so much seriously!!! i’ll try my best to really do what i want and all :( <3 (also tysm AAWHABHJGBJ ...... knowing nothing abt ffxiv but. you still being down to yeah. that is such a huge ehdjsghdbg /pos oh gosh >_< 💖)
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gb-patch · 11 months
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The Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever will go live in fall of 2023!
Whether it'll end up being in September, October, or November I'm not entirely sure yet. But it could be happening in as little as three months, so I've gotta start promoting this already, haha.
Our Life: Now & Forever Pre-Launch Page Link
The campaign will have perks like keys for the DLCs, the soundtrack, and such. However, it'll also be the place where you can get yourself a voiced name and be listed in the credits!
When the crowdfunding begins an expanded demo is going to become available as well 💖. Things will be pretty exciting.
Game Story:
Begin your life anew in this second installment to the lovingly nostalgic Our Life series! Create an experience that’s all your own in this near-fully customizable, choice-heavy story.
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Fall settles over the charming mountain town of Golden Grove as the story  begins. But it isn't only glittering leaves that are changing. You and your mom leave behind everything you knew before when you move to a new home nestled right in the middle of a tight knit cul-de-sac. It’s there where a paper airplane lands at your feet and brings you to  unanticipated crossroads.
Make your own path through life as you grow from childhood to adulthood with your two closest neighbors. Even in the chilly autumn weather, it’ll be a truly heartwarming time.
Developer: GB Patch Games
Price: Free-to-play base game with optional paid DLCs
Rating: Teen
Platforms: Windows, Linux, Mac, Android
Steam Page
Itch.io Page
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Man, it's been years since we've had a crowdfunding campaign to advertise. Here's hoping it all goes well. We'll do our best ✨
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astrobiscuits · 7 months
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Astro observations part 8
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[LONG EDITION] - taken from my phone's notes (also, i was too lazy to edit it so here's a nice chunk of info)
🍂 Sun conjunct Saturn individuals inherit mindsets from the father, grandparents or great-grandparents. They might never fully act like their Sun sign (aka "shine"), since they've been conditioned from a young age to listen to parents, teachers, and later on bosses. They are the type to never divorce, no matter how toxic their marriage is. If these peeps deal well with their Saturn Return, they might become "THE BOSS" (aka the person everyone looks up to due to how accomplished, disciplined and rich they are, they've literally got their shit together and deserve a round of applause, "it wasn't easy to get to the top, but it was worth it" - you might hear them say this). They are also more prone to ingrain stoic principles in their lifestyle
🍂 Mars square Neptune gives off major cult leader vibes. They're the type to fool you with false promises until you sign up for their "camp" but then you realize it's actually an evil cult where all they wanna do is put you to work (and maybe later even kill you lol). These individuals become very scary when angry (you don't wanna see them angry, trust me). If they ever commit suicide, it'll be by drowning, alcohol or drugs
🍂 Mars trine Neptune is one of the best aspects for those who make a living off their talents. The talent depends on the element the trine is in:
If it's in Earth signs - ideal for those who work in the "money handling sector" in advertising, becoming an entrepeneur, holistic care (if Virgo is involved), cooks, those who work in interior design, seamstresses, embroidery/lace makers, models, event planners If it's in Air signs - ideal for those who work in sales (their negotiation skills are ✨chef's kiss👌🏻✨), becoming a spiritual/religious teacher or an art/music/any other creative pursuit teacher (lmao, i can't even speak💀💀), writers, musicians, magicians and astrologers (for the last two - if Aquarius is involved) If it's in Fire signs - ideal for dancers, theater/movie actors, hairstylists, circus performers, photographers (only if Leo is involved) If it's in Water signs - ideal for make-up artists, painters, tarot readers
🍂 Moon sextile Uranus individuals have got the ability to create a positive parasocial relationship with their followers. Since these people often use their devices to validate their emotions, i wouldn't be surprised if most of y'all also have atleast one active profile where you post quite frequently
PRO TIP: Whenever Transit Jupiter is trining/conjuncting your Natal Uranus (to a less extent also the sextile), you'll get a sudden boost in your followers count
🍂 This is a theory of mine that i've come up with and i'd love to hear your thoughts on it. When it comes to intergenerational astrology, i do believe that we inherit all of our personal planets placements from our parents and ancestors. But then you might say "But i don't act like my mother at all! This is bullshit!". I'm not saying we're all carbon copies of our family members. What makes us unique and distinguishes us from our parents and grandparents (or even great-grandparents) are the way the planets aspect each other in our birth charts and the planetary configurations between them. Basically we start from the same ground, but we all use our traits differently, whether for the better or the worst expression of them. Let's not forget that we also tend to go through different life experiences than our parents and grandparents; we might be blessed with different opportunities that might enhance our best traits and help us achieve what our ancestors always wanted to but weren't able to
Hope you enjoyed today's post, loves!💗💗💗 I've been wanting to post for a while now but my inspiration has been wandering alone in the Sahara Desert I can't promise that i'll start posting again more frequently (the new uni year is starting soon for me + i enrolled in a local astrology school 2 weeks ago🥳🥳 ya girl can't wait to officially become an astrologer) but my inbox will be open again for further questions! I must also thank you for helping me hit 500 followers!!! I'm probably gonna do another ask game once i hit 600 followers, as i'm too busy right now. As always, don't forget to drink water and take care of yourselves! Hope to see you soon! ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
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tarjapearce · 9 months
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Lips anon! Reader gifting Miguel a nude portrait. He was expecting literally everything but that and had to double take for the first time in years. It's certainly not a bad surprise. Quite the opposite really 🤭
Straight to the beginning of his private collection, for his eyes only. He does his own commission later 🤭
🤭🤭🤭❤️ (Im adding the read more from now on to make it easier to navigate through the blurbs ✨~)
Portrait inspired by this one 👀
Sighing, you scrolled through your phone, trying to get a perfect gift for Miguel. Mugs? No. He had a little collection on his own and always ended up using the same red and blue one Gabi had given him on Father's Day, stylographic pens? He barely used them. Probably more t shirts his size since you were using them more than he was.
Giggling at the thought your fingers typed the idea. And then, it came like a revelation. That scene of the Titanic, replayed in your watch list. A drawing perhaps? No. A painting. A painting shall be. You kicked feet and squealed for yourself as Miguel only watched you curiously.
"What are you up to?"
Giggling you shook your head.
"A little secret."
-----
The studio painting was a professional one that did exactly as they had advertised, portraits and nsfw portraits for couples. Despite the initial nervousness and lack of confidence, the woman in charge of your portrait cheered you up. First, they would take pictures to capture your form. Then you'd have to decide the the theme.
Reinassance. It was impossible to not love it.
A small scenery was set up, and soon, your pictures were taken and they'd tell you that the painting would be ready in a week.
You certainly couldn't wait, but you knew that the gift was going to worth the wait.
----
The doorbell rang and you shoot up from the seat to receive the package. The painting was a medium sized canvas, carefully wrapped in a box with a bow. Your body erupted with thrill, upon seeing the portrait. You looked like you really belonged to that era and someone had taken you as a muse.
You seemed natural even, it was gorgeous. Couldn't wait for Miguel to see it. You wrapped the thing back and placed it on his office's desk. With a
"For your eyes only" a little heart at the end of it scribbled.
---
Miguel came from work, shoulders slumped with an 'I need coffee' face. You kissed him welcome but remained quiet on your little endeavor.
He disappeared into the bedroom to change and then he went to his office. Your nerves wrecked as you heard the rustling from the box. And then silence.
In fact, Miguel was a bit weirded out by the white box laced in a bright red bow in the middle of his desk. He had read the note and bit by bit unwrapped the portrait.
His eyes widened in surprise and his mouth gaped. Every curve he knew like the back of his palm was painted with such delicacy that made his heart and something else throb. His cheeks grew warmer and his breath hitched for a second. Stunning. It was erotic and artistic. So so beautiful. You peeked in from the doorframe and giggled at his reaction.
"Ven pa'cá" (C'mere)
You approached him with a bashful smile.
"You like it?" Large arms hoarded you to then sit you on his lap as he brought the portrait to his eyes once more.
"More than that. Finally someone paints you the way I see you."
Your hands covered your face in embarrassment
"Ah stop it. Just thought it was a good gift."
"The best so far." He kissed you and looked at the portrait again, "Just look at you. Toda preciosa y mía." (All precious and mines)
You hugged him and nested your head on the crook of his neck.
"Love you."
"También te amo, chaparrita."
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thisoneblackjacket · 1 month
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Another example of Eddie's potential role in Welcome home
First of all: SUPER excited for the Barn Makeship plush!! I gotta save up for it really soon
But second of all: I can't help but point out that even in the advertisement, the theme of Eddie being "unwanted" or only there as the butt of the joke is still present
Now there have been instances (especially after the new update) of Eddie being snubbed/dismissed/isolated, here are a few good posts getting into some specific instances (and what it can mean) and we can see that in the new Makeship video too:
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When Howdy is trying to explain how the plush can help "Keep your home safe from even the PESKIEST of UNWANTED guests!", who is the example that he uses here? Eddie.
Pretty harsh words to direct towards somebody just trying to do his job, right? Might even make a fella feel less like a welcomed neighbor than ever...
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And as Barnaby is getting into his stand up routine, he mentions how he hadn't seen that many lemons (talking about the Wallys, very cute actually) ever since he had "chased Eddie up the lemon tree!"
Which seems a bit more of a rude thing to do to someone rather than funny. Poor Eddie was probably trying to not get hurt again
Not that the audience is really concerned though- they still readily laugh at it
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The only person really tried to somewhat stand up for Eddie was Frank, (which might hint at them being more involved with each other than the others know (heck ye protect ur man)).
But the problem with that is that he's literally being labelled as a "Comedy Sourpuss™️", both here, and probably other instances. So while Frank might be giving a legitimate criticism of it not being funny (likely because it was at Eddie's expense), that itself can be easily be dismissed as him being only that. A Sourpuss that doesn't get Comedy and is just trying to ruin the fun for everyone else
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It's certainly tough to say at this stage, but I have a hunch that as the story continues on, we might run into an instance of Frank trying to protect Eddie from this treatment in some way (here's a post I saw that gets into that a lil bit via the gelatin and pea dish symbolism).
However, I think he won't be successful in doing so, as the other neighbors (and on a greater scale - the show and its producers themselves) are just as easily ready to dismiss his arguments as him being "too uptight" rather than that of a legitimate concern, leading them to continue on
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And while in usual circumstances it would be relatively fine for a show to have a character purely dedicated to being the butt of the joke, it might not so fun when that character has possibly become AWARE of being just a character for a tv show, because they might soon realize that they were only written/designed/wanted as the butt of the joke for that tv show, and nothing more.
This all to say - Eddie is really going through it right now, and there might not really be a way for anyone to help him out, even if they wanted to.
Who knows how and if he can continue to handle all that?
....
(tl:dr - The new Makeship video shows more instances of Eddie being labeled as unwanted/only useful as the butt of the joke, which might be a running theme/future conflict for him as a character in the WH story. If so, it will be difficult for him to escape that predetermined role in the show, which would put him in even more turmoil)
....
But anyways, thank you for reading yet another unwarranted, overanalyzing ramble based on like three new lines✨
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HEAR ME OUT- DUMBIFICATION, DEGRADATION AND PRAISE WITH VOX
THOUGHTS??
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I also have a headcanon request that I'll do separately in list form! This is actually a scene from a scrapped multi-chapter fic idea I had for a secretary reader. As to why it was scrapped, I didn't know how to finish it so I ✨gave up! ✨
Ngl this is actually only half of the scene, there's scraps of this whole extra kinky round-two thing with some casual exhibitionism, but we'll see how this does first. That being said, enjoy!
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At Your Service [Vox x Secretary Reader] NSFW AS FUCK
(NSFW writing under the cut. Minors stay away <3)
It was an early morning like any other. Vox is sitting at his desk, looking over the paperwork he had from yesterday. It’s far too early and his bougie oversized office offered little comfort as you sleepily walked in. Hearing the door open, Vox looked up and smirked as he noticed the coffee in your hand.
"Good morning." he greeted you, motioning to a chair for you to take a seat.
"Morning," you smile a bit tiredly as you enter the room. You were never much of a morning person. Once the initial adrenaline of stepping out of your house had burned out, you needed the extra caffeine boost to keep your energy going.
A yawn slipped past your lips as you sat in the chair across from his desk.
"Wimp," Vox chuckled, poking fun at your inability to start a morning as early as him. It had become a regular topic of banter that started most of your work mornings together.
"Capitalist cocksucker," you wave him off. "Not everyone can be up at the ass crack of dawn in a freshly pressed suit, Sir. A few more sips of this stuff and I'll be good to go." You say as you lift your coffee to your lips.
You hum and lick some foam off your lip as you pull out your laptop. "Any changes to today's agenda I need to know about?" you ask him.
Vox smirked, rolling his eyes as he pulled up one of the hundreds of tabs he had open on his computer. "I can tell you're still a bit tired, but if you're sure... " he paused for a moment, glancing over his schedule."Yes, actually. There has been a small change to the overall plan. We're going to be running a new campaign today, so I'll need you to be ready to assist with that."
"What would you like me to oversee?
"I want you to be over on the promotion side for this new campaign," he said as he looked up from his paperwork. "Make sure that we get maximum visibility on this. The security system may have been a spur-of-the-moment idea, but it could bring in huge fucking numbers if we pull it off. I want as many people as possible to know about it and twice as many sales as views minimum.”
You nod, take notes, and start writing an email draft to get meetings scheduled. "Do you want the visual hypnosis team to work on the campaign or the auditory team?" It was common knowledge that Vox had hypnotic abilities, but it was less common to know how it had been incorporated throughout his entire company. Inductions were slipped into nearly every advertisement, program, and product that the company made.
"Have both of the hypnosis teams work on it," he answered. "We'll have the visual team focus primarily on the advertising for the campaign, and the audial team will work on creating the sounds and audio to slip in. We want this to be a very effective campaign, so the more hypnotic technology we can put into work, the better."
You stop typing, looking up at him incredulously. “Are you sure? The last time we doubled down on inductions we had to do that whole cover story to explain why half of hell turned into braindead zombies for a week.”
“It’ll be fine,” Vox waved off your concerns. “That was years ago and we’re better at this shit now. We can always blame it on Alastor somehow if shit goes wrong.”
You nod along, "If you’re sure. I've personally been incredibly susceptible to the combination, so forgive me if I don’t watch any of your programs for the next month," you say idly without thinking.
You didn’t notice as Vox paused. You didn’t notice the toothy grin that could have prepared you for what was to come either. "How susceptible were you previously to hypnosis?"
You nod along, not listening to his question as you finish sending the email to the hypnosis teams. Your brain catches up with you as you hit send and you freeze like a deer in the headlights. The look on your flushed face was priceless and Vox would have burst out laughing if he wasn’t so invested in hearing your answer. "I, uh.." you look away from him, "I was focused and said too much out loud. You weren't supposed to hear that."
His eyes were still on you, a clear look of curiosity flashing across his expression.
"You're right, I wasn't supposed to hear that,” He grinned. “But you said it and you’re not getting out of this that easily. You said that you are quite susceptible?"
You cringe, knowing you couldn't dodge a direct question from your boss. Even if he was an ass and an absolute man-child. "I..." you bite your lip curling in on yourself and crossing your legs as you take a sudden great interest in your laptop. "Yeah, I may have... experimented a bit."
His eyebrows raised, and he leaned slightly over to get a better look at you.
"Experiments?" he spoke softly. "What type of experiments?"
You sputter, your entire body flushing as you stammer out a panicked reply, "I, ah, um.. don't know if that would be a-appropriate to um.."
He chuckled slightly, now seeming rather amused by your reaction. "I assure you, I've heard much worse than whatever you may be worried about telling me."
"E-even so," you try to reason. "It's embarrassing. It's one thing to do it, it's another to tell your boss about it."
His eyebrows raised further. "You've done hypnotic experiments on yourself, and you're embarrassed to tell me about it?” He chuckles and rests his screen on his hand. “Yeah, no. You’re not getting out of this. What exactly did you do?"
You stare at him, before sighing and opening up a blank document. It was too mortifying to say out loud. He may have the power to squeeze the information out of you for his entertainment, but you’d be damned if you gave him the satisfaction of saying it out loud. You silently type up that you've tried being hypnotized both sober and when high and how you had done free-use edging with a group while high and hypnotized. Without a word you turn the laptop around so he can read it, your face on fire as you look anywhere but at him.
He had been expecting something a bit more tame, but now he was intrigued. It seemed that you had quite the mind on you to explore such risky topics. When he finished reading it, he raised his eyebrows even further, seemingly somewhat impressed.
"Well, I'll be damned," he commented. "That's not what I expected... What made you wanna try such things?"
"I like the feeling of it," you muttered as you turned the laptop around and promptly deleted the damning text.
His eyebrows raised a bit, intrigued. "You like the feeling of being hypnotized? You like letting someone else be in control of you?"
You pressed your lips together, blushing hard as he asked his question.
"Is that a yes then?" he inquired, his grin growing as the pixels under his mouth went dead. "You don't want to give me a straight answer, but the way you're stuttering and blushing makes it pretty clear that you do."
"S-Shut up," you bite back at his call-out as you finally look back at him.
Vox laughs as he just keeps winning the game he’d caught you in. "I think I hit the nail on the head, didn't I?"
"Y-Yes, sir." You say, cringing as you realize that sounded completely different given the topic compared to when you usually called him that during work hours.
He chuckled again, finding your response more than a bit amusing. "Well then, I take it that you have no issues with me being in complete control over you, then?"
You would combust into flames if you could. Your legs clenched together as you took in his question. You looked down at your laptop, stammering as you felt yourself quickly slipping into his grasp. "T-The campaign-"
"Yes, yes, yes," he interrupts you, seeming rather amused by this. "We'll talk about the campaign after that. I'm more interested in how much control you're willing to give up to me right here and now."
"I..." you pause, staring down at your hands clenched on top of your laptop. Were you really about to do this? Fuck it.
You look up at him and nod.
A grin appeared on his face as you nodded, even more amused now that this little bit was going exactly the way he had hoped. The two of you had flirted here and there, but never anything more than the occasional passing comment. If anything, it had just been a part of the playful and teasing game you’d be playing together for the past few months with you as his assistant.
He had no idea if you had ever truly noticed his advances or the way he’d stare at your ass in that pencil skirt you always wore during meeting days. But now he had the chance to unravel every last secret that’d been out of reach. Vox was nothing if not an opportunist.
"Good girl," he said softly. "Are you ready for me to control you now?"
You stand, going to place your phone and laptop on a nearby table. You stop and take a shaky breath, smoothing out your pencil skirt. You turn and walk back to him, this time hesitating instead of simply sitting in the chair across from his desk.
"Yes."
He smiles at your obedience and hesitation, noting the way that you smoothed down your skirt. You had already given up quite a lot of control to him, and it seemed that it was just going to be even easier from this point on.
"Then come here," he said softly, motioning for you to do so.
Your heart was pounding hard in your chest and you felt how hot your cheeks were as you stepped forward and moved to stand before him. His attention had been on every part of you, taking in every inch of you. He didn’t have to sneak in glances like before, he could just take it all in on his own time. He was enjoying the way that he seemed to be able to control you with a seemingly simple command. And to think he’d barely lifted a finger.
His eyes moved downwards as you stood in front of him, and his expression became a bit more serious than mere amusement.
"Let your skirt fall to your ankles," he instructed.
You practically shivered at the command, screaming internally at how embarrassed you felt and yet squirming at how just a short command from him was enough to send sparks through your body.
Your face flushed as you slowly undid the zipper on the side of your hip, taking a sharp breath before letting the fabric fall to the floor. You hugged yourself as you looked to the side, stepping out of your skirt and standing half-exposed in front of him.
He couldn't help but smirk as you did exactly as he commanded. Your legs were now exposed, and he noted how they were quivering slightly.
"Good girl," he smirked. "Now, let's step this up."
"But you’re still wearing too much. Let’s move on to your top next, shall we?" he suggested with a spark of playful amusement.
Oh god, was he really going to make you do this? It would have been one thing if he had been the one undressing you, but the fact he was making you do it for him like this was going to be the double death of you. You shakily undo the buttons of your blouse, trying to keep your heart rate under control as you pull it over your head and let it fall to the floor by your skirt.
You look at Vox, hoping he’d finally have some mercy and touch you himself, but he only lazily drags his gaze over your body with a hum of approval. "And finally?"
You were only left in your bra, underwear, sheer black thigh-high tights, and your heels. You felt incredibly vulnerable in his large office. Anyone could come in through the door and the windows that overlooked the city suddenly felt far more exposing than they ever had before.
You could see the spark of excitement begin to rise in him as you bit your lip and paused. Your hesitation was only making this a bit more exciting for him. He could hardly keep up the playful mask when his claws were threatening to tear into the armrest of his chair.
"Go on... " he said softly and slowly, his voice now beginning to become a bit huskier.
You took another shaky breath as you slowly reached back to unclasp your bra. You shook just knowing he was looking at you. That he was pursuing this. It made you hyper-aware in every way as you tossed the garment to the side and then finally stepped out of your underwear.
His gaze on your body was intense once more, seeming to take in every inch of you. He could not stop himself from being intrigued by your body and by just how vulnerable you were right now.
Your shaking was making it even more enticing to him. "Good girl," he said softly. You move to undo the garter and roll down your tights, when he stops you. Leave those. They’re perfect.” The dead pixels under his mouth might as well have been drool with the way his eyes hungrily took in the sight of the tights pressing into your skin so perfectly. 
“Are you ready to move on to the last step?"
You take a deep breath before lowering to your knees in front of him and nodding. You'd never done anything like this with a single person, finding it so much easier in a group. His lone, laser focus on you made you feel every twitch and spark and overwhelmed you in the best of ways.
"Yes, Sir."
He looked down at you once more, this time taking in all of your body as you were now kneeling, your hands resting on his chair.
"Now..." he said quietly as he reached down in a rare moment of tenderness as he lifted your chin. "I want to ask you a very simple question, but you must answer honestly. Do you enjoy this? Do you enjoy giving up your control to me?"
The smallest moan slips past your lips without your permission. Despite your embarrassment, you answer truthfully. “Yes. I love it a lot, actually.."
He smirked at the moan and the truth in your words. You were enjoying this... he could tell. You truly loved giving up your control to him. And he loved taking it.
"Good girl," he said with a soft chuckle at your veracity. "Very, very good girl. You enjoy letting me take c̶o̸m̶p̴l̶e̵t̵e̵ control of you, don't you?"
You take a deep breath, feeling your body relax a bit as you feel a bit of yourself give into him as you finally gather the nerve to look him in the eye. "Yes, Sir."
His expression seemed to shift a bit as you gave in even more. His amusement was more apparent now, as he now had you exactly where he wanted you.
"I love that you enjoy this so much," he said softly. "Does it make it more fun for you to know that you are pleasing me?"
You nod, shifting on your knees. "It does," you say earnestly. "Your approval isn't something easy to earn."
The slight shift you made was enough to cause him to smirk once more. Every time you moved, he would find something new about you that appealed to him.
"I approve of this tremendously," he grinned. "It is obvious that you enjoy giving up your control over me and letting me take control of you. It is clear that you enjoy giving me pleasure."
You let out a hot breath, your eyes darting down to between his legs as he mentioned giving him pleasure. You weren’t subtle about it either. Vox chuckled, amused more now than any other time during the interactions you two have had so far. You whine, your fists clenching where they rested on top of your thighs. Your chest shifted with every movement as you waited for his instruction.
"So eager," he breathed. He reached down and tucked your hair behind your ear as he committed the view to memory. "Go on, then,” he purred. “Show me what you’re willing to do for this.”
"I'm happy to give you a demonstration," you say to him with a smirk. Vox chuckled, happy to see some of your usual sass seep into the moment. He just knew you had a bratty side to you. The duality of how eager you seemed to submit and that bit of knowledge filled him with anticipation for all the different sides of you he wanted to see.
You scoot forward and reach for the zipper of his slacks. You chuckle as his breath hitches when you slowly pull down. He moans softly as your hand only continues following a path down as you palm him slowly over his slacks. There was already a bulge formed there that made you twitch with delight.
Looking up, you see Vox watching you with wide eyes. The smirk on his face only grew larger as you slowly pulled down his slacks and boxers You could feel the heat of his gaze on you, his breath becoming more and more audible with every slow movement.
You hum with pleasure as you focus your attention on his half-hard cock in your hand. It was easier to let go and forget your insecurities when you had him in front of you like this. For as much as you’d fantasized about him, you had never dared to dream you’d find yourself in this situation with him. You lean down and use your hand to slowly pump him before you lock eyes with him and lick a trail across the underside of his cock.
“F̷̮͛u̷̞͗c̵̹̈́k̸̝̎i̷̝͝n̶̗̎g̷̭͒ hell,” Vox swore, his grip on his chair tightening. His breath got increasingly more audible, his throat hoarse from his attempts at restraining any noise he might make. He’d been dreaming of this for far too long. He had you pegged all wrong. He always thought you were innocent. Flirty, but he couldn’t truly imagine you’d have a side like this. You always seemed too pure despite your sass. How happy was he, to be proven wrong.
"Good girl," Vox huskily breathed as his fingers tangled in your hair.
You lower down to press a kiss to the head of his cock. He hissed as you sucked lightly and collected his pre-cum on your tongue. You let your tongue loll out for a moment to show him before you lower yourself and take him in your mouth. Your tongue swirls around the tip of him and your fingers dig into his thighs as you bob your head shallowly. You tease him with subtle motions before you start to take his length down your throat in earnest.
Every movement you made only increased the heat of the situation exponentially and Vox found his cool demeanor quickly fading as he panted above you. “F̷̰͠u̵͕̅c̵̠̓k̸̞͊i̵̢͊n̵͓̅g̷̤̃ ̶̠̋ḫ̵̑e̵̩̾l̶̦͋l̶̩͆,” he gasped as your tongue lapped at the base of his cock. How the fuck were you doing that when he was jammed past your non-existent gag reflex? 
You hummed around him, your eyes watering as you choked on him. He could see the mirth in your eyes and he knew you’d be teasing him with a snarky remark if you weren’t too busy drooling on his dick like a goddamn champ.
Vox lets out a stuttering breath. As hot as it was, he wasn’t going to let you just get away with keeping your attitude intact. Out of selfish pleasure, he let you continue your ministrations for a moment longer before his fingers tugged at your hair, bringing your attention back to him.
You let him pull you off of his member, your tongue hanging out as you catch your breath and smile dumbly at him. His expression remained very much one of satisfaction and admiration as he observed you. That dumbly, innocent smile of yours was rather endearing to him, as it went hand in hand with the way you were acting.
"You really are quite the little showstopper, aren’t you?" he said quietly as he took in your porn-quality face. He idly wondered how the hell you ended up working for him and not Valentino. He was not about to complain about the unexpected victory.
You hummed happily, letting yourself go more for him. It was such a stark contrast to how tense you were when you were working. He'd never seen this side of you before and he hadn't even hypnotized you yet.
He had now realized just why you got so tense when he approached you with that offer. You enjoyed this in such a way that it was almost intoxicating, that it was almost addictive. It was a stark contrast to the version of you he knew that strived for greatness and top results at all times. You must have been so wound up from it all that you just whiplashed into the complete opposite frame of mind to release.
If you were already like this in front of him, then what would you be like after he had you completely under his control?
You nod, smirking as some drool fell to your chest from when you had your mouth on him moments ago.” What can I say?” you say teasingly. “Oral fixations keep a girl eager.”
Vox grinned with the look of a hungry predator as his eyes roamed all over you. Every god damned inch.
“You actually want this, don’t you?” He chuckled. “You want me to turn you into a brain-dead d̶͈͊ȍ̴̪l̵̺͊ḽ̸̏.”
"Please," you whisper as you look up at him with pleading eyes.
You could see the hunger within his eyes as you said that single fucking word. It didn’t take lifting a single finger for you to desperately plead for his control. You’d been wanting this just as bad as he had. The whole goddamned time. Vox buried his face in his hands and you looked at him with concern. You couldn’t see the way he grinned or feel how his body trembled slightly. You could only gasp as your vision was filled with black and red spirals when he lowered his hands and looked at you with a wicked grin.
You sit back on your knees, your eyelids growing heavy as your mouth falls open. Your body felt like it was floating and it was enough to make you feel like you were high. The hypnotic effect of his demonic abilities was how he'd reached the powerful position of an overlord. Even if you hadn't been so susceptible, you would have been powerless under his gaze as a normal person. 
Any hypnosis you’d experienced before took many sessions of induction. It took a bond, trust, and a lot of mental bandwidth to be so vulnerable. But Vox could just drop you at a whim. And the pull of his tide dragging you under was stronger than anything you’d ever succumbed to before.
You were blissfully unaware as Vox’s expression shifted into feral joy. Your submission. This control. It was all his for the taking. You were giving him everything he’d ever craved and he could already tell that once he properly tasted this power, he’d never want to let go. He’d become an addict, for sure.
Your mind and body felt like they were floating. All you could see was Vox as your empty and needy self waited for his command. Your body felt almost weightless now, every sense and thought centered solely on him. His commands were all that you cared about now, his desires were now like law to you, and your body, empty as it was, only had one desire.
"I want you to do as I ask without question, do you understand?" he asked, his voice shaking with delight and raw hunger.
"Yes," you sigh, your every breath feeling heavy as you’re pulled deeper under his spell.
He had already gotten you to admit you were a submissive slut and he already got you to strip for him. All before he had even used his power on you. Now? Now, he could make you do or tell him anything he wanted. You were his.
"Good girl," he grinned. "I want you to stand up and walk over to that door over there," he said, pointing to one of the nearby doors to the room. "Do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir," you say calmly. Whereas before your embarrassment left you feeling exposed, you now felt relaxed and light. Your embarrassment and insecurities didn’t exist under Vox’s control. There was only the need to satisfy him and be blessed with ecstasy in return.
You walked over to the door in nothing but your sheer thigh-high tights and heels. You place both of your hands on the door and stand with your hips out, waiting for Vox.
Vox glitched hard and admired the way that you followed these commands so easily. This was his. He found himself growing more addicted and possessive by the second. His mind was already buzzing with all the ways he could mold you to his every need and desire. He’d never felt so in control of another person like this and it satiated a dark craving in him.
"Now, I want you to take off those tights and throw them over to me."
You bend over in front of him, fully exposed, yet carefree as you peel off your tights and hand them to him with a relaxed look on your face. Vox sparked again as he got a full view of your need for him. Once your tights were off, you handed them over to him calmly.  All you could think about was pleasing him and satisfying him. Your anxiety and self-conscious tendencies were washed away.
Vox ordered you to put your hands behind your back. He grinned and tied your wrists together with one of the stockings. He snatched your underwear from the forgotten bundle of clothing by his desk and made you open your mouth for him. He stuffed them in and used the other stocking to tie around your mouth. 
Now that you were completely bound, your mind was completely free to focus on the feelings and sensations you were experiencing. He dropped the hypnotic spell on you and you gasped into your gag as your mind cleared and he pushed you forward so your face and tits were flush against the door. You shuddered hard and let out a broken moan as his palm rubbed against your leaking cunt.
Vox grinned and leaned down to speak by your ear as he slid his fingers in. “You have n̷͙̈o̷̹̎ idea how much I can’t wait to fucking d̷̲͆e̶̗͘s̴̳̈t̸͚̆r̷͎͒o̸͙͊ỹ̸̝ ̸̞̉y̷̰̓ǒ̵̦u̵̬͂.”
Your gasps and moans were muffled by the fabric in your mouth and you pushed against him as he roughly played with you. His hand slammed your head against the door and held you in place as his fingers curled and scissored inside of your sloppy heat. Tears pricked your eyes as your heart and mind raced. You were completely vulnerable to him, but now your embarrassment was rearing his head at the worst (b̴̼̊è̶͔s̶͜͝t̶̹̽) possible moment. 
The chance that there could be anyone on the other side of the door had you thrashing desperately against Vox’s ministrations. Vox delighted in your internal struggle and couldn’t help himself as his claws dug into the back of your hair so he could pull you back hard. “I’m going to make sure e̶͖͌v̷̞͐e̶͈̽r̶̡̂y̸̨͊o̵̤̚n̴̦̈́e̴̥͌ ̵͜͠k̵̜̔n̷̝̈́ǒ̷̮w̷͎̅s̸͓̈́ who̸̩͂ ̶͔̀y̸͎̐ő̸̳u̸̗͊ ̶̞̏f̶͎̔u̷̠̅ć̵͈k̶͙̚i̴̜̿n̸̘͐g̷̨̿ ̸͔̌ belong to,” he growled as he lifted one of your legs and slipped himself inside of you.
Your eyes rolled back and you screamed into your gag as he slipped in and out of you with ease. He’d been so hard from the build-up of it all and you were literally dripping for him by this point. Vox growled and lost control as he picked up the pace of his actions, moving you around to different areas of the office and fucking you in as many positions as possible. He wanted you exposed. He wanted you defenseless. He wanted you marked in the blood and bruises of his ownership. He wanted to ḋ̴̥ó̶̰m̵̯̕i̷̗͗n̴͈̽a̵̱̒t̶̤̎ȇ̸͚ you. And he would.
Neither of you could keep track of the amount of times you’d come. Your mixed desire was dripping from your cunt as he’d buried himself deep inside of you every time one of you peaked. This was all he wanted. That was all you wanted. No more thinking, no more emotions, just the sheer fucking pleasure.
Your eyes rolled back into your head as you cried from how good he made you feel. He knew how to unravel you into nothing more than a babbling mess with every clever touch and command. It was becoming too much and yet you felt like you wanted more of it. You were overwhelmed as you felt yourself quickly approaching an orgasm.
“That’s it,” Vox growled as he fucked you against his desk. He chuckled darkly as he smacked your ass. “Fucking do it, c̴͖͆o̵͕͋m̷̟̉ẽ̵̞.”
You threw your head back and screamed as your entire body convulsed around him. You couldn't do anything but take his relentless thrusts as he pounded you into the desk. Vox growled, nearly on the verge of cumming himself when he suddenly rips himself off of you. You let out a muffled sob as you clench around nothing.
Your entire world is suddenly filled with bright blue electricity as you feel everything shift suddenly. You almost fall, but are caught by Vox’s hands. You squint as your eyes adjust to the sudden change of lighting and Vox undoes the gag around your mouth as you realize you’re now in his surveillance room. 
Your eyes go wide and you gasp and you see yourself on the monitors with Vox crouched over you. Every screen was showing a live feed of you from several different angles, showing how vulnerable you were in this situation. The footage of you was quite an entertaining sight for Vox as his wires came out of nowhere and threw you onto his chair.
"V-Vox,” you gasp as you look up at him with wide eyes. The overlord’s grin stretches wide as he grabs onto your shaking legs.
It was the first time you'd actually used his name.
At work, you were professional. In his office, you were playful. However now that he had you in his lair, he would mark a new side of you… Here, you were your true self, fully and utterly submissive. Here was his favorite.
You couldn't help but moan shamelessly as he lifted you with his cables and sat in the chair beneath you. You threw your head back with a scream as he dropped you onto his cock and turned the chair so you had an eyeful of each and every monitor with your shameful display recorded. 
You moan as you bounce yourself on him, meeting every one of his feral thrusts. Your mind was completely gone. Every grunt and growl that slipped from his lips only fueled your need. The marks on your hips and back from where his sharp nails clawed in burned just as deliciously as the stretch of him inside you.
Pain and pleasure all in one were now filling your mind. His grunts and growls were becoming louder, as were yours. You couldn't control it. This situation was pushing you further and further toward the edge.
You leaned into him, gasping as he made you lose your mind.
"P-please." You begged.
"Beg for it," he said growled, "Beg f̸̼̑ó̶̙r̴̠̀ ̵̫́m̴̡̾è̸̼."
You moan low as you desperately plead with him. "Please Vox, plus fucking break me! Please please please, Sir, please I'll be good. I'll do anything, please, Sir, fucking please!"
"You'll do anything for me," he said, with a grin on his face as he saw you getting more desperate with your plea. The red recording symbol on all of the screens wasn’t enough to make you see the incoming danger. You were too overwhelmed with the pleasure quaking through your body as Vox pumped into your sloppy cunt.
Your entire body shook hard as his movements suddenly stopped. A long whine of frustration and the roll of your hips made Vox grin. You were so desperate for him in the moment, you didn't notice the gravity of the position you were in.
"Fucking please don’t stop, I'll do anything Vox, please," you begged as you desperately rutted against him.
"I'm going to give you exactly what you want," he grinned as he whispered in your ear. "If you do everything I say from now on, then I'll give you everything you want. Sound like a deal?"
You sob, nodding rapidly against him. "Fuck, please, yes! It's a deal, so please!"
Vox suddenly thrusts up into you hard, making you scream as the room flashes with electricity. The deal was made and the pact was sealed.
"Good girl," he said quietly and calmly, as he pet your hair.
His grin was downright sinister as he pulled your head back.
"You're mine now."
Your eyes went wide as you realized the gravity of what you had just done in the heat of the moment. "Wait, I-" you gasp as you're cut off as Vox starts to mercilessly pound into your heat.
"I heard what you said," he grins as his claws dig into your hips and draw blood. "I heard it a̸̩̎l̴͚͗l̷̖̓.. And I'm going to hold you to e̵̻̐v̶͎͌é̵͉r̶͕͊y̷̳̍ word of that agreement."
If you thought Vox was rough before, it was nothing compared to how he used you now. He tossed you around like a toy and you sobbed as he broke you.
Your eyes were crossed as you screamed and took everything he had to give you. "Vox, Vox, Sir, fucking please!" You babbled, practically worshipping how he destroyed you now that he owned your soul. It was too good to care about the consequences. It was too much. All you could think of was how badly you needed him.
Your screams and moans were now all he could hear as you completely lost it. He was using everything that he could to break you and he seemed to enjoy every second of it. He was doing you dirty, but it was also exactly what you desired. All you wanted now was his approval, as he completely controlled and dominated you in body and spirit.
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myobsessionsspace · 6 months
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He's Been Saying It, Without Saying It, For A Long Damn Time
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GENDER NEUTRAL.
GENDERLESS.
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EMBRACES BOTH MASCULINITY...
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AND FEMININITY
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What is a man? Who decides?
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He appreciates more than just stereotypical compliments
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LOVE YOURSELF: SEOUL
He struggled so much with his identity and how to present himself. Who he is now is who he’s happy with.
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He’s told us through art on his skin
Me, Myself & I: Jimin
Freedom
His most transparent statement to date (in my opinion)
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He’s told us with his photo-folio
FILTER
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He expresses it through performance.
My short and simple interpretation: Clothed in neutral colours that he originally came in, tried on the advertised to the masses, desired/accepted presentation, got rid of them all and embraced his own unique colour!
This is how Jimin CHOOSES to present himself publicly
he has also said numerous times his at home mode is sweats and baggy tees (if dressed at all)
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This isn’t a new thing, just a rediscovered and more bold take
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To us he is handsome, beautiful, ethereal, all that and more…
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He prefers PRETTY, CUTE & DELICATE
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Either one and all of them…
✨He’s JIMIN✨
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💜
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that-wizard-oki · 8 months
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15 years later and we haven't once looked back... ✨
Happy 15th Birthday Wizard101! It has been QUITE the path for many of us, myself in particular, these past 15 years, so I wanted to do something meaningful. Here's two illustrations that depict the progression of time for our player character withing the span of the last decade and a half. Was pretty happy with how they turned out!
More info on the symbolism if any are interested:
For the 'younger' piece, we of course have the Wizard dressed in the original beginner gear. I went with colors that were neutral to any of the schools. The envelope laying on the ground is a call back to the advertisement letter/envelope/flyer that was sent out before the game's launch, which was printed in the manner of an 'acceptance letter' to Ravenwood. The wizard also holds on to a small Cherry Tree sapling, which is just beginning to bud. The Wizard looks eagerly ahead to begin their journey.
In the 'older' piece, we see that the sapling has grown into a full sized cherry tree. The tree itself is a reference to the Classic ver. of Wizard City, in which a cherry tree sapling can be found next to the Library in the Commons. In the updated version of Wizard City, this cherry tree then becomes fully grown.
Furthermore, there are small references to each of the major Arc's that the Wizard has endured. The First Arc is represented by the Skull, referencing Malistaire & his Undead Army. The Second Arc is represented by the Spider/Spider Web, which looms over the Wizard's shoulder. An obvious reference to Morganthe & the Shadow Web. The Third Arc is represented by the Raven perched in a tree. Again, an obvious reference to Mellori, Grandmother Raven, and the whole feud between her, Spider and his children. The Fourth Arc is represented by the ruined tablet/marker- based off a very old housing item that had 'kthulu' imagery on it, though I updated it a bit to align more with Dasien's iconography found throughout Lemuria & Arc 4.
Like in the 'younger' version, the Wizard touches the three, but in a way where they're almost leaning on it for support, indicating that the player is tired, more worn and not as enthusiastic about the road ahead, as they once used to be. Of course, they are adorned in the Divine Paradox robes- I took some creative liberties, mainly omitting the "ring" on the back for a solid cape. I liked the idea of the cape symbolizing the weight the wizard now carries on their shoulders.
You may also notice that the tree root sticks out into the path in BOTH illustrations- as if to say that this could theoretically be the 'same' island the wizard was at when 'younger'. You could also read into the root of the tree completely obstructing the path in the 'older' piece in a certain way too- as though our roots & beginnings are now causing obstructions and issues in our current/future self.
Anywho! That's a lotta mumbo Jumbo but I really put a lot of thought into the pieces and wanted to ~explain~ it all hehe. Maybe you found some different meaning in these, that's awesome too!
Again, hope you all enjoy, and I also can't thank this community enough. You all mean so much to me, and now that I work on the game, I have extra appreciation for you all for keeping this game & community alive & thriving. You matter so much more than you may think <3
Here's to many more years of Wizard101!!!!! <3
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hey-kae · 2 years
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Hi! I absolutely love your works✨✨ and I would like to ask you for an OS angst 😢 where Charles and reader end the relationship because of hate and comments on social media. I don't know whether to end with a happy or sad ending, that's your choice 🥰.
Hate and Love
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader
Warnings: the chaos that was japan, slight implication about Charles thinking of Jules’ accident, panic attack, talk of weight and body image, needs more proofreading.
a/n: i don’t think i’m that good with the whole hate trope as i struggle to write it without feeling like it’s turning out cringey, what explains how long this took me to write and i’m still not satisfied with it. But it’s yours to judge now ig…
When you've been swinging a hammer repeatedly over a frail sheet of glass, it's it going to shatter it. There is no way around that fact.
When you keep throwing insults at a human being, you're going to break them.
Whether these things are your intentions or not doesn't change the outcome.
Rarely do we ever see any exceptions for clear and particular reasons. Everything has a reaction or consequence that is to some degree, inescapable.
The crack in the glass made itself loud and clear on the weekend of the Japanese Grand Prix.
Excited about having some time off that would allow you to support Charles on the double header of Singapore and Japan and getting to see such beautiful and unique places, you had decided to accompany him on his two week trip, not wanting to waste any opportunity to spend highly valuable time with him.
The Singapore Grand Prix went okay and by the end of the weekend, the bags were packed and you headed to the airport with Charles.
On the lengthy flight, Charles fell asleep with his head resting on your shoulder, and it honestly didn't matter how long the two of you had been dating, long enough that you had a sparkling ring sitting on your finger, the sight of that and the feel of his soft brown hair tickling your neck and cheek quickly caused your heart to race. If anything, that was just another proof of how much this man meant to you, how much you devotedly loved him.
Wanting to secure the memory in your head and into existence, you fished your phone out of your bag without moving much so you wouldn't disturb him, and you quickly snapped a selfie that showed half your face, mainly focusing at the much cherished sight of your asleep fiance.
The picture was adorable. Charles looked so cozy and at peace.
You were smiling at your phone screen, debating whether or not you should share such a harmless picture with the world.
There lies the conflict.
If any of your social media accounts had been somewhat "normal", you would've posted it without any second thoughts like you'd done with previous boyfriends you had. Sharing occasional pictures of your relationship for your friends and family to see was something that should've felt natural, and it did feel like that in the past.
Then, Charles came along.
He was somewhat of a celebrity.
You knew that since the very first time you hung out with him. If anything, that was the only thing about him that made you reluctant about getting into a relationship with him. People's huge interest in him would inevitably transfer to his partner.
As you had expected, dating Charles reformed your understanding of social media. It was no longer a source of entertainment but a business place, a space for profit and advertising and never in your life have you wanted that to be the way you used social platforms.
Suddenly, everyone was so interested in your everyday life to the point where there was accounts literally dedicated to finding out where you bought each outfit from and while it was funny for a while, you were quick to realize that the whole influencer lifestyle was in no way your cup of tea.
It didn't help that anytime you shared anything that had merely any connection to Charles, your DMs flooded with message requests and your notifications got crowded with replies and comments. One night, out of sheer boredom while Charles snored beside you in bed, you went through some messages. From that point on, there was no return route, and it sure didn't help that the engagement shone a brighter light on your relationship and how serious it was, causing the hate to double.
While some of the messages were overwhelmingly sweet, some were also overwhelmingly cruel and inconsiderate.
You promised yourself that you wouldn't let these things affect you nor the beautiful and genuine connection you had with Charles, that you wouldn't even check the messages and comments again in the first place.
But as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.
It turned into a repeated pattern, a compulsion you couldn't get rid of.
Therefore, you continued staring at the picture, you thumb hovering over the share button until Charles startled you.
"Tout va bien, bébé?" Everything's okay, baby?
You locked your phone and let it fall onto your lap before assuring him that everything was okay.
"Oui, cheri. Tout est bien." Yes, darling. Everything is okay. You smiled, wrapping one arm around him and allowing your head to rest on his, your eyes closing as you attempted to push out all the negative things and remarks, redirecting your focus onto the man by your side.
That position didn't hit the minute mark since Charles moved so he was sat a bit more upright and pulled you close to him so your head rested on his chest, his arm around your back while he looked down at you through half opened eyes.
"Tu sais bien que tu peux me dire n'importe quoi, n'est ce pas?" You know that you can tell me anything, right? He reassured, sensing that something about the way you were behaving was not quite right.
"Oui, je sais cela. I promise you, there's nothing worth mentioning." Yeah, i know that... You replied and tilted your head up to press a quick kiss onto his cheek.
With that, he let the subject go, ignoring the instinctive feeling in his chest telling him to make sure that everything was alright but he had no concrete proof that anything was going wrong so he forced himself to push the suspicions to the back of him mind.
That was supposed to be the end of that issue. You promised yourself to actually act normally and not allow stupid comments and remarks to taint your relationship with Charles.
It said a lot that you were engaged to Charles. You literally wanted to marry him, you saw your future with him and at this point, you couldn't really imagine a life without him by your side so you found it unreasonable and just plain idiotic to allow strangers who lived cities and countries away to interfere between him and you.
However, as the weekend processed and pictures of you with Charles popped up on the internet, that last thought seemed to be morphing. All you wanted was an escape, a break from the judgmental critics and the suspicious fans overanalyzing every move and post you made. With every passing hour, you were reminded why you rarely ever showed your relationship with Charles publicly and openly.
People knew you existed and they knew that you and Charles were engaged but when they aren't reminded of that, they tend to ease up a little bit on you. Therefore, it goes without saying that the opposite had been happening during those two weeks.
After qualifying, having watched the session from the pit box since Charles asked you to, you posted a quick shot of him as he was being photographed with Max and Carlos. You hadn't thought the post through, just supporting for your fiancé and wanting to share that openly. But as you laid sleepless in bed, the jet lag getting to you after Charles passed out of exhaustion, you realized that was a mistake.
Your DMs were flooded with messages, some positive and some negative but it seemed like you couldn't bring yourself to focus on the love you were getting, not when the opposing words were so cruel, hitting quite close to home.
People were going on and on about how you were like Charles' shadow. To them, it looked like you wouldn't let him breathe, that you followed him everywhere and limited his freedom.
Apparently, you were insecure about the relationship and you were essentially following him across the planet not to support him, but to supervise his actions, as if you would've agreed to marry a man you didn't trust.
Not only were they speculating about the relationship, the comments about your body were downright disturbing under some of the photos captured when you were spotted around the paddock. There were pictures of you eating and the comments under them were disgusting. Even the compliments were worded so crudely that it made your skin crawl as you read through them.
But what hurt the most is people saying you weren't enough, that you weren't worthy of dating someone like Charles, that you were forcing him to commit, that you were using him for fame when in reality, you hated every bit of unnecessary attention you got through dating him.
Everyone was preaching about the way he could do so much better, posting pictures of his exes and comparing your looks to theirs.
Looking through these messages and comments was overwhelming, even suffocating to a certain extent but for some reason, you couldn't put the phone down.
Does she have to always be there?!
Is it just me or is she gaining weight?
I wish Charles would wake up and see why she's really dating him
It's giving... attention seeker
ngl his ex was prettier and they were a cuter couple
The remarks went on and on and you lost yourself in the masses of words that night, forgetting where you were, forgetting that Charles was asleep right beside you, forgetting how much he loves you and how he always went out of his way to remind you of that. Your thoughts were hypnotized by strangers online and you couldn't think of anything else other than what you were reading, not even the words that made you cry when Charles had said them to you the night he went from being your boyfriend to being your fiancé.
You didn't even realize you were crying but the hot tears dropped onto your pajama pants when you sat up in a hurry, gasping for air.
You couldn't breathe properly, your lungs felt like they were collapsing, your hands were freezing and shaking out of control until the words on the screen of your phone and the pictures of Charles hugging you after qualifying turned into a streaky blur of colors that you couldn't even comprehend.
You needed a quick escape, some fresh air but you felt stranded, in a unfamiliar country where you had no idea about where you could go.
Suddenly, you were too aware of the sheets covering your body and even that felt too heavy to be bearable.
With wobbling legs, you pushed off the covers and stumbled onto your feet, even in this state making sure that Charles was still covered.
Nothing felt alright.
You felt like you were loosing it and instead of considering waking Charles up, you thanked god he was in deep slumber.
Tunnel vision took over, making the room darker and smaller than it already was. Your heart felt heavy in your chest. You could hear the rush of blood in your ears. Your body was tingling like if was going numb. Your throat felt dry and tight. Your tears were streaming out of control. You were was having chills all over as you broke out in a cold sweat. The loud noise from the street by the hotel felt so distant but somehow, the sound of Charles breathing was deafeningly loud.
You felt like you were loosing control.
With absolutely no clue of how you made it out of the bedroom, you burst through the balcony door, longing for a fresh breeze, the chilly night air feeling like it was waking up every nerve in your body.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." you kept mumbling as you allowed yourself to fall into the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you finally broke into sobs instead of the panicked, silent cries.
You were never confident growing up, always the calm sister, the shy cousin but really, you were insecure. For years, you worked on yourself until you finally got yourself to participate in social settings, to meet new people. Hell, it took years until you stopped reaching for a pillow to put in your lap every time you sat down, until you could walk in public without crossing your arms in front of you, until you found it in yourself to wear anything you wanted, until you could laugh without covering your mouth.
Therefore, it was undeniable that when you were met with such remarks, every past wound was reopened, and to be fair, the energy it took for you to build yourself into a confident woman was one you didn't have at the moment. You couldn't afford to go down that rabbit hole again. Once in your life was already too much.
You looked out onto the bright city lights, one striking thought now torturing your mind.
Charles.
Charles in your life meant curious eyes and endless criticism. There is no way around that unless he hid you from the world for evermore, and you weren't naïve enough to believe that would be possible, not if you wanted to marry him proudly and have your own little family with him.
That's when your heart broke and the sobs got ten times worse while your opposite hand wrapped around the diamond ring on your finger.
The man asleep a few feet away from you was everything you'd ever wished for.
He was the prince charming that you dreamt of finding back when you were a toddler watching princess movies, beaming over happy endings and escaping on a white horse. Charles was the one who satisfied that little girl's dreams during adult days that felt endless and hopeless and so painfully dull.
Middle school you who described the man she'd marry years down the road in excessive details in her diary would be in disbelief to see Charles exceeding all the impossibly high expectations she set, even after she ditched them when she was forced to face the real world.
He was perfect and you loved him beyond words, more than you ever thought was possible and you were just so ready to have it that way until forever and a day, until you grew old with his hand in yours.
Countless times, you imagined your wedding, the days after it, the look on Charles' face. You imagined having kids with him, watching him become a father and being the amazing dad you knew for sure he would be, holding the children you'd have and teaching them how to do anything and everything, maybe even how to race. Every detail that you were so sure would become true at some point had passed through your mind so many times, sending your kids to school, watching them grow up with the love of your life right by your side for it all, sharing every moment, milestone and event with Charles, happy or sad.
You wanted everything with him, the good and the bad.
But then, the image of the teenager you once were, stood timidly in front of the mirror, hating what she saw took over. You remembered when you didn't have the confidence to even present a project in school, when every little critic tore you apart and broke you to pieces.
The future was pushed right out of your mind as you let the past take over, dread washing over you like frozen water as you realized just how easily this situation you were in could drive you back to your old ways.
As the memory of crying your nights away and fearing the days came resurfaced, the face of younger you, so hopeful and full of life flashed in your mind and that was when you realized you couldn't fail her, no matter how flawless your relationship with Charles was, it was still breaking you.
As you came to the realization, the cries became too loud and even from your spot on the balcony, you were afraid to wake Charles up. You clasped your hand over your mouth, muffling the sobs and gasps, your eyes screwing shut as you struggled to catch your breath, the tears falling out of your eyes heavy and uncontrollable.
You couldn't afford waking him up right now, facing his gentle looks and caring words but No matter how quiet you attempted to be, it didn't work.
"Cherie," Charles' worried toned startled you, making you fumble to wipe away the tears, "what is happening?" He asked, crouching down in front of you immediately.
His hair was ruffled and messy. He was barefoot and was messily but warmly dressed for bed. His eyes were hazy with sleep and barely opened while his hands grabbed yours to pull them away from your face.
He was a bit too caring and it made everything hurt so much more.
Through your burning eyes and clouded vision, you glanced up at him adoringly while your heart shattered into a million tiny shards.
"I love you so much, Charlie." You sobbed, reaching over and hugging him as tight as you could.
Instantly, his hands were rubbing up and down your back, trying so desperately to comfort you, but he had no clue what was going on and he was too sleepy not to be confused.
"I love you so much as well." He kissed the top of your head, "mais tu veux me dire qu'est-ce qui se passe, mon amour?" but you wanna tell me what’s happening? He asked with the softest voice, taking advantage of the way your arms were wrapped around his neck to slip his hands under you and carry you back inside to the comfortable bed where he could hold you properly.
Once he had you wrapped in a cozy hug on the mattress, he got you to look at him and his heart plummeted at the sight of your swollen eyes.
"Oh, baby." He cooed, wiping the last of your tears off your cheeks with his thumbs, "What happened?"
You felt like you could crumble under his worried looks, immensely dreading tomorrow as your eyes looked with his.
"I don't know." You attempted to push out a chuckle but Charles knew you too much.
He got you to lay your head on his chest and began brushing his fingers through your hair, thinking about what could be the reason you were crying that hard.
"Honnêtement? Je n'te crois pas. You were crying so hard, bébé..." Honestly? I don’t believe you. You were crying so hard, baby…
The heavy concern lacing his still hoarse voice was too much and you could've lied to him, came up with an excuse for the breakdown you had but you couldn't do that, not to someone you loved so much.
"I just - i don't know, cheri. Je n'veux pas en parler maintenant." I don’t want to talk about it right now. You felt Charles nod. He knew he couldn't force you to talk about something you didn't want to discuss but he wasn't gonna be at ease, not knowing why you were so upset, not able to help you through it.
"D'accord..." Okay. he said, closing his tired eyes, "Demain après la course donc?" Tomorrow after the race then?
"Ouais. Demain." Your heart ached at that. Yeah, tomorrow.
With that last promise to discuss the issue tomorrow, Charles allowed himself to relax for now, hugging you close but making sure he wouldn't be falling asleep before you.
Meanwhile your mind raced with thoughts of your plans. You couldn't help but fear that Charles would think you don't love him anymore after he would find out what you did.
"Charles..." you waited for him to look at you, "Tu sais bien que je ne mens jamais quand je te dis que je t'aimerais jusqu'à mon dernier souffle, n'est-ce pas? Promets-moi de ne jamais oublier cela” You know that i will love you until my last breath, right? Promise me to never forget that.
"Alright, baby... I don't like the sound of that. Why are you saying it like this?" He lifted his head off the pillow to look at you, his hand stilling in your hair as he tried understanding what you meant by that, especially when you were crying minutes ago, when your body was still shaking against his.
"Please tell me what's going on." He asked again, the worry and dread in his chest increasing with every word you said.
"There's really nothing going on. I just want to remind you of how much i love you." You said with a sniffle, your eyes clouding again with tears that were threatening to spill again.
"I really don't believe you, not when i'm not understanding anything at all." He sat up a bit, unable to shake the uneasy feeling he had now.
"Charles, please. On a dit qu'on en  parlera plus tard et tu dois vraiment dormir car il est deja très tard et tu dois te réveiller tôt demain matin. S'il te plait, laisse ça tomber au moment." We said we’ll talk about it later and you really need to sleep because it’s already so late and you have to wake up early tomorrow. Please, let it go right now.
Sighing, he reached for the bedside lamp and turned it off, clearly not happy about this situation and making that clear to you by turning the other way and pulling the sheets right up to his neck.
You couldn't help but bite the inside of your cheek at that, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes.
"Charlie, please don't be upset. Je t'aime." I love you. You rolled onto your side, facing his back, hiding your face against it and hugging his waist as the tears started falling again.
“Bonne nuit.” Good night. He mumbled as a reply but you never let go of him, no matter how many minutes had passed.
You listened to the sound you were most grateful for, the soft thud of his heartbeat, letting it cut you deeper and harder because you were so hell bent on the fact that you deserved this pain, and once you thought he had went back to sleep, you allowed the quiet sobs and sniffles out, holding on tighter to the man you loved so deeply.
But Charles was everything but asleep. He felt your arms tighten around his waist, felt your hands clutching onto him for dear life. He heard you crying and laid there for a while, going over the past day in his head a hundred different times, desperately trying to understand what had unworldly upset you and crushed you this bad until his heart started feeling heavy with every sob that met his ears and at that point, he no longer felt like insisting on finding out what had happened. He just wanted to comfort you.
He sighed heavily and turned to face you, immediately bringing you to hide in his chest and between his sheltering arms, his hand on the back of your head securing you into this position that he knew you found so comforting.
The gesture only made you cry harder, this time the sounds muffled by having Charles so close.
"Shh, bébé." He kissed the top of your head while his heart felt like it was being torn apart, "I've got you, mon amour. Calm down."
That night you fell asleep for one singular reason and that way your eyes burning beyond comprehension, forcing you into slumber. Once your tensed body relaxed in Charles hold, he realized that you just exhausted yourself into sleep and that fact alone brought him so close to crying himself. However, he wasn't an idiot. He was well aware he shouldn't be staying up any longer, that he couldn't risk not being able to drive at a 100% in the conditions expected for the race, so he allowed his eyes to fall shut while making sure he had you held as close as possible.
__
When you woke up next morning, you were alone in bed and as soon as you checked your phone for the Japanese time, you realized why. The race was starting in less than two hours and you were still asleep.
With a worrying scowl on your face, you got up and headed for the bathroom, still trying to make sense of why Charles hadn't woken you up earlier. In the mirror over the sink, there was an unpleasant reminder of yesterday night: swollen under-eyes as your reflection's most prominent feature and even you couldn't help but to stare as you brushed your teeth.
Once done with that, you went back into the bedroom and found a note taped onto the closet door.
I didn't have the heart to wake you up cause you looked so tired but there is a key to a rental by your purse if you still want to go to the race. (I texted you a picture of which car it is.)
Je t'aime fort.
Without a second thought, you pulled on a pair of loose jeans, a cozy sweatshirt that belonged to charles and some shoes, grabbed an additional jacket, your purse and pass along with the keys Charles left you, applied some makeup to hide your swollen eyes and headed for the track, knowing that you weren't selfish enough to not even show your face at such an emotionally charged race for Charles.
It was pouring as you drove to the circuit so you put on your jacket, pulled the hood on and made a run for Charles' garage, hoping you'll catch him before he has to line up on the grid and you did but just barely.
As soon as he saw you coming up to him, his face brightened and he smiled. However, his eyes scanned over you as if to make sure you were alright.
"Good luck!" You attempted an enthusiastic tone after he had greeted you with a quick peck.
"Thank you. Tout vas mieux aujourd'hui?" Is everything going better today?
You nodded and dodged any further questions until he was luckily called over to the car and just like that, he was out of the garage, waving at you as he slipped into the cockpit and moved out into the pit lane.
You slacked in a chair then, feeling so guilty for even having the thought of leaving him, so guilty for putting yourself first. All you could think of was how you never in your life bothered prioritizing yourself and why did you have to start doing that now? When it came down to Charles and your relationship with him? But then another voice that seemed to come from a totally different side of your brain would remind you that it was either losing Charles or losing yourself again and forcing yourself into endless years of repairs and reconstruction.
Needless to say, by the start of the formation lap, your felt like you were loosing your mind as one thought contradicted the other, the scary conditions of the track adding another element to go crazy over with worry and before you knew it, chaos ensued and the race was red flagged when Carlos crashed and the recovery vehicle was employed while the cars were still on track and if you knew anything, it was that it would be disturbing for Charles to see that, especially when it was one of his friends, Pierre who was in the most danger.
You stayed in your chair as the cars made their way back in and watched Charles talking to the pit wall crew across from the garage where you were. He looked so visibly shaken up and you couldn't look at him and his tense posture for longer than that without backing out on your plan.
You turned away, grabbed your phone and booked a plane ticket home so there was no way out of this. However, that only increased the guilt you were feeling as Charles finished talking to Laurent and made his way to you, instantly giving you a kiss before reaching for his red Ferrari coat and shrugging it on to warm himself up.
If he didn't look visibly upset and worried and if you didn't feel like you were betraying him, you would've been obsessing over how adorable he looked with his hands tucked deep into his pockets as he took a seat by your side.
Suddenly, for the first time in years, you were fumbling for words around Charles but you saw him in staring into the distance before he heavily sighed and dropped his head back.
Everything was so close to collapsing, both on your side and his. Maybe you could rethink your decision.
"Bébé..." you turned sideways in your chair and faced him, "are you okay?" You asked and grabbed his hand in both yours.
"Yes, don't worry. Are you feeling better today?"
Only Charles would be more concerned about you when just minutes ago, his life and the life of multiple of his friends were literally on the line.
"Charles..."
"Please, they're already going to make me talk about everything in the media pen and i really don't want to do it twice." He rubbed his eyes angrily as he spoke, moving his hand between yours to intertwine your fingers.
Maybe you shouldn't leave. Not today at least.
You nodded and sat by his side in silence, watching your hands in your lap, his fingers toying with the ring on yours in a way you would've presumed absentminded but Charles found it incredibly comforting.
Eventually, after texting with the other drivers for a long time, all of them furious about the truck incident, he moved his chair closer and rested his head on your shoulder, allowing the two of you to chat quietly about almost anything that didn't involve racing: the food from the restaurant you went to in Tokyo, the old couple you saw yesterday when you went for a walk in the early morning, the wallpaper on your phone, paddock gossip... Anything to distract him for the current situation and the catastrophe that was this Grand Prix since you had a relatively clear idea of what he would be thinking at the moment.
"Cute hoodie, by the way." He smiled half-heartedly.
"It's cold and i don't have anything warm enough with me." You were quick to defend.
"I didn't say i mind it. Au contraire, je l'adore quand tu t'habille de mes vêtements." On the contrary, i adore it when you wear my clothes.
You couldn't even believe you were still considering leaving just a few minutes ago. How could you ever let go of this?
"Okay, okay. Don't get all cheesy now." You blushed, holding onto his hand tighter while you attempted to get a clear view of him.
He let out a small chuckle and brought your hand up to his mouth to press a kiss onto your knuckles.
"Merci." He smiled, "I know what you're doing and I'm so grateful."
You struggled to reply because of course he'd figure this out, so you settled for something simple, "Je t'aime, Charlie." You said and kissed his forehead mindlessly.
And it was like the universe hated you because right that instant, a big camera was directed right at you and Charles, capturing the moment at the perfect time and probably showing it on live TV.
It would be an understatement to say you immediately feared the outcome because you knew that a lot of people would find some ulterior motive other than comforting your stressed fiancé behind the gesture.
You still tried hard to act unfazed like Charles was but you remained highly uncomfortable until the lens moved in the other direction, filming the pit wall.
Somehow, through the seemingly endless red flag, you managed to forget that ever happened until Charles fixed up his suit and retrieved his helmet ages later, returning to his car as they announced the resumption of the session in ten minutes.
"Good luck once again." You smiled at him and watched him head out, back into the car and onto the track.
When Charles disappeared out of sight, you grabbed your phone and found endless notifications on the screen, reminding you of being filmed.
You couldn't help the heavy dread in your chest as you unlocked the device and clicked on the twitter icon.
You knew you couldn't allow yourself to have a breakdown in the middle of the garage with so many people who were well aware who you were surrounding you but you couldn't resist clicking on the notifications tab, gulping as you started reading through them.
It was the usual: the comments like "oh my god, they're adorable" and "at least she's there to comfort him" versus the opposing ones like "she's doing anything to appear on the stream", as if a kiss on the forehead was such an eccentric things to go.
Line after line, you read them and allowed them to build up in your mind until your breathing became irregular like yesterday.
You made a run for it.
You grabbed your things in a hurry, still trying not to attract unnecessary attention and hurried to the car.
You couldn't do this. You wouldn't survive staying in the spotlight that came with dating one of the most famous f1 drivers currently. You wouldn't make it out alive if you stayed with Charles and even though you felt so selfish as you turned the car on, you kept telling yourself that if there was any reasonable time to be selfish, it was now.
The drive back to the hotel passed in a teary, breathless haze as your mind carried your body on autopilot.
Before you could even register that you arrived to the room, you were packing up your bag and frantically searching the room for any pen and paper until you found one with the name of the hotel plastered all over it.
You only realized you were crying when the tear splattered onto the paper, distorting the ink as you shakily wrote.
Charlie, je suis infiniment désolée mais je ne peux plus faire ça. Ce mode de vie est quelque chose dont je ne pourrai jamais supporter.
Prends toujours soin de toi-même. I am so sorry.
Charlie, I'm very sorry but I can't do that anymore. This way of life is something I will never be able to bear.
Always take care of yourself. I am so sorry.
It felt like you were ripping away a part of you when your fingers wrapped around the engagement ring and you began sliding it off. It was physically painful to let go of everything so quickly but it felt like there was no escaping this.
Your eyes forcefully shut and sobs shook your body once the ring was in the palm of your hand instead of on your finger. You looked down at it, the diamond glistening brighter through your blurry, teary gaze. With your breath caught in your throat, you let it fall onto the paper on the nightstand then you were struggling to inhale at all, but you managed to call a taxi and rush down to the lobby with your suitcase and a heavy heart that was burdening you, avoiding at all costs allowing your mind to imagine how Charles would react to your unexplained and unexpected absence, let alone the break up in form of a paper with tear-streaked ink scarring it.
You just flew to your home country, not even to the apartment you shared with Charles in Monaco, leaving everything behind.
Such a short race shouldn't have felt so long but it seemed never ending as the gap to P1 grew with every lap, the tyres working completely against all the effort Charles was putting in.
Before he even knew it, the Redbull behind him was threateningly close and he was cussing out the whole world. He defended his position with everything he got, the only thing on his mind is finishing the race and falling into the comfort of his fiancée's arms but with all the stress that weighed down on his shoulders, the pressure of such defense caused him to exit the track and he knew he'd have to face complications because of that.
Getting dropped from P2 to P3 by a 5 seconds penalty felt like being dropped from P1 to P20, especially after all the effort he put in on track to keep the position but he took it without complaints and walked into the cool down room, already feeling like he was ready to collapse in bed.
He felt heavy and exhausted. He just wished he could skip the podium celebration and the interviews and just go find you but he knew that was impossible so he straightened up and put the brave, undefeated face back on.
On podium, his eyes scanned the crowd many times, trying so desperately to find the face that brought him comfort but to no avail. His shoulders slacked a bit lower as he realized you weren't watching the celebration and he was already making excuses for you as the national anthems played.
Eventually, he was handed a trophy and even though it was rather small, lifting it above his head took so much effort. He was so done with everything and just wanted to escape to you and hug you so tight. No one was ever able to cheer him up like you did and he was so grateful for that, for you and for the fact that he would be calling you his wife someday.
Forcing himself to stay aware of where he was for a few more minutes, he popped the bottle of champagne open and sprayed Max, congratulated him on the championship and eagerly got the hell out.
He rejoined his team, immediately asking about you but no where had a single idea where you were. Then, he was dragged out into the media pen where he rushed through all the questions, eventually resuming the search for you as soon as he was free to go. He checked both Ferrari garages, the team hospitality and finally his motorhome but you were nowhere to be found.
He started worrying, the state you were in yesterday adding to the situation.
He changed out of the suit, put on a jacket, grabbed his things and got going, his phone ringing against his ear as he attempted calling you while he was searching for Pierre to quickly check up on him before leaving. The phone kept ringing until he was met with beeping followed by your voicemail.
"Where are you, chérie? You're worrying me." He said and stuffed his phone in his pocket as he caught sight of his french friend.
Half an hour later, Charles was in the elevator in the hotel, going up to the floor the two of you were staying at, his heart beating fast with pure worry since he already called you many times on his way back and not once did you pick up.
He dragged himself through the hallway and unlocked the door in a hurry, immediately calling your name once he stepped into the suite.
Once, twice, three times... Nothing. Not a single sound in the room.
He walked further inside, expecting to see you overtaken by sleep on the bed but it was neatly made and the room looked clean and spotless.
That's when he panicked.
The room looked too clean.
The vanity facing the bed had absolutely nothing on it. Just this morning, it had your bag, your makeup remover, your jewelry box and a bottle of your perfume. It was completely clear now, and it could've been that you just put these things away but your suitcase had also been sitting on the floor next to it along with the spare pair of shoes you brought with you and those were gone too. Even your phone's charger was gone from the outlet above your nightstand.
The words you had said to him yesterday resurfaced in his mind, the fact that you were asking him to promise you he'd never forget you love him now seemingly bone-chilling.
What was going on? He kept asking himself because there was no way what he was assuming would be true.
He turned on his heels and began searching the other part of the suite, from the kitchenette to the small balcony to the bathroom, even checking behind the frosted glass of the shower.
Nothing. You weren't there and nor were your things.
"Non. Non, ça peut pas être." No. No, it can't be. He started mumbling to himself as he rushed around the rooms, retrieving his phone and calling you in a hurry now, as if that would make you pick up.
"Tu peux pas me faire ça. Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Où est tu? S'il te plais, répond au téléphone." You can't do that to me. What’s going on? Where are you? Please answer the phone. He said into your voicemail and tossed his phone onto the couch, heading back to the bedroom.
Maybe he was misinterpreting this. Maybe you just put your suitcase in the closet provided. Maybe you put your things in drawers. Maybe you left the race because you were tired.
So many maybes and what ifs clouded his thoughts as he pulled the closet opened, only to be deceived but the dull and blank wooden shelves.
"Putain." Fuck. He cursed and moved onto the drawers, not even closing the closet doors.
One after one, he yanked them open and every single drawer was empty, even the ones of the nightstand on the side where you'd been sleeping, leaving him with only the one on his side of the bed.
He rolled on the mattress in a hurry but froze in his sitting position as his eyes met a sight he never wanted to see, a sight he never thought he'd see.
It felt like he forgot how to breathe, like his heart was irregularly beating, skipping beats left and right as his eyes widened so much, they started burning.
"Non..." he shocked, gulping as he tried to make sense and of everything, "Why? What the fuck? Why?" He bolted to his feet, pacing by the bed with his hand against his mouth in pure shock. His mind was a mess of thoughts and feelings and words but most importantly questions.
He thought things between the two of you were as perfect as they could get so why was he staring at your ring sitting abandoned on the nightstand? He couldn't make sense of it. He kept asking himself why.
His heart shattered because it finally made sense how you were speaking to him yesterday night. You had planned this and still went to the race, sat by his side and comforted him when all he could think of was the potential tragedy that was the first few laps.
Nothing made sense. If you love him as much as you said yesterday, why did you leave him? Why did you bother with the grand prix? Why did you wear his sweatshirt?
Charles eventually froze in his spot but he could see a paper under the shiny band and he wanted to grab it. However, it felt like his arms had went limp and he suddenly couldn't move, his eyes still scarily widened, still trying so hard to wrap his head around what has happened today.
He was just so eager to come back to you after such a stressful race, after it became official that he lost the championship. He needed you right now that if felt like the world was closing in on him, but he came back to this, to a breakup through a paper, not even face to face.
Cursing again, he grabbed the paper and the ring and read the streaked ink scribbled clearly in a hurry.
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A hundred times, he read and reread the words, until his tears joined the marks of yours on the paper, and not once did they sink in.
You gave up on the relationship that easily? He couldn't bear the mere thought of you leaving him and now he had to face that as his reality? Without any clear explanation or a proper end and all because of the lifestyle that came with dating him? How were you planning to marry him if that was the case?
He fell back onto the mattress, his hands over his face as he tried so hard not to break after such a bad day but the tears defied him and streamed down the sides of his face in a rush.
It felt like a mockery that when he received the penalty, he thought the weekend had no way of getting worse. He had the comfort of knowing he had you by his side and with the endless support you always provided, he knew he could overcome anything but now he feels powerless, broken and defeated and he wasn't sure what to do about it.
He just needed one of your hugs right now. He just needed for this to be a nightmare.
Just a few hours ago, he was twisting the ring around your finger and now it sat painfully cold in its loneliness in the palm of his hand.
He felt like tossing it out if the window but his heart couldn't take anymore hits today so he clutched it tighter and gave up on trying to push his emotions aside. He let them rule over him.
He loved you too much to be able to pull himself through this and come out unscathed.
This felt like the end of everything. He lost everything in a day and he didn't have to energy to face that just yet.
He laid alone on that bed, staring at the ceiling blankly, waiting for the shock to subside and for heartbreak to set in and when it did, every last breath was knocked right out of his body and he was left curled around a pillow, holding it so tight and crying into it, occasionally trying to call you again and again but not once did you answer and it enraged him.
He tossed the phone off the bed onto the floor with a frustrated scream that felt like it was cutting through his lungs.
Following that, he allowed himself to completely fall apart as it sank in that you really left him.
Charles felt utterly defeated and hopeless.
To say you were no longer used to waking up in your childhood home would be a major understatement, especially since you could barely open your swollen, burning eyes in the morning to see the room clearly, leaving you panicked because you weren't at the place you call home and very far from the person that felt like it.
However, the familiarity of the place was as welcoming as ever, definitely something you needed at the moment.
When you showed up home yesterday, everyone was worried but as they watched you drag the suitcase in with bare hands, the object tying you to Charles missing from your finger, they caught up quick enough not to ask any questions.
They let you sleep it off in your old bedroom but really, you were crying most of the time, questioning if you made the right decision.
Charles called you so many times and left so many voicemails but you were determined to stay off your phone, so you let it's battery drain until it powered off at night and you decided not to charge it as not to risk it.
Your heart ached all night long since the only thing you could think of was Charles returning to the vacant hotel room and discovering that you left without him, and as your woke up this morning and found yourself reaching for him in your half conscious state, what had remained whole from you completely shattered because he obviously wasn't there and you had made that choice for the both of you and he probably was clueless why you did it.
The smell of him was still engulfing you though, making you realize hours too late that you had taken off dressed in his sweatshirt still and you couldn't really tell if the fact that you were still wearing it was good or bad. You really couldn't bring yourself to care.
Once the morning light became too strong, you forced yourself to get out of the bed. However, on the first attempt, you only managed to sit up enough to scan the room. Your head was throbbing and your throat was sore and dry and you could barely see anything through your blurry vision.
You rubbed your eyes furiously and got up. Outside your door, you could hear your family moving about in the house and talking, the clatter of plates and utensils implying that they were probably having breakfast.
You felt guilty that you barely great them yesterday but you still couldn't bring yourself to go out and talk to anyone so grabbed some of your old towels from a drawer, your shower products from your suitcase and headed for the bathroom.
You avoided your reflection at all costs. You didn't want to face any of yesterday's various aftermaths. Instead, you stepped under the hot stream, immediately felt your shoulders drop as your head fall back, the hot water relaxing your tense muscles.
Then, the tears made a comeback and you welcome them with open arms, letting them stay as you washed your hair and body until you turned the shower off and padded back to your room.
Pulling open your closet, you were met with the memories of the last time you had stocked it. You and Charles and his family spent last Christmas with your parents. The two of you had been newly engaged and everyone was still gushing over that.
As the memories of that trip resurfaced, your eyes met the sight of a certain pile of clothes that didn't belong to you. That's when you remembered that Charles had felt a few items of clothing here, a change for hot weather and one for cold days, because he was so damn sure he'd come back to your childhood home at some point and so were you.
With your lips pursed, you betrayed your heart and grabbed his sweater instead of your own clothes and put it on along with some shorts.
Tensely, you fell back onto the messy bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling lost and withdrawn. You had nothing to do, nowhere to be , nothing to distract you and the only thing you could think off was Charles.
You just wanted to know if he was alright, if he finished the race safely at least, but you didn't want to face the fact that you hurt him without giving him any explanation, that you walked out on him during one of the heaviest races of the season. You didn't want to consider the possibility that he now understood why you kept reminding him that you love him and that he might find it confusing now since common logic was that you don't leave someone you love.
As the thoughts ate away at your heart, you impulsively jumped up and grabbed your phone to charge it. You had to make sure he crossed the finish line safely at least and you wouldn't have to give in and contact him for you to know that.
The few minutes that it takes for the phone to power on felt like ages and when it finally did, over 50 missed calls from Charles flooded in along with so many texts and voicemails.
That meant that he was well, health wise at least. However, the last missed call was hours ago.
Your finger hovered over the voicemail icon and you were so tempted to just click it, desperate to hear his voice since you weren't used to starting your day without talking to him.
You gave in.
The first one started by him just asking where you were and judging by the noise around him, it was clear that he was still at the paddock.
But as one recording ended and another played, his tone progressively changed and several of his words broke your heart.
"Tu peux pas me faire ça..." You can’t do this to me… is what you heard in the second voicemail and the last one in which he didn't sound like he was crying. After that, it was just heartache.
"Tu peux me dire pourquoi, au moins? Je ne comprends rien." Can you tell me why, at least? I don’t understand anything.
"Where did you go? Tu m'inquiète au point de la folie." I’m going crazy from the worry.
"Fuck. Fuck, just..." you heard a sniffle, "... please, je te supplie, come back. Please."
These sentences amidst rambling and incoherent french stuck with you, making you wish you never charged your phone again or that you never left, but even after hearing that, nothing could've prepared you for the last recording.
"I'm kind of loosing hope now that you will answer," he sighed, "i just needed you here today, and always, but today more than usual. The race was shit but somehow i don't give a fuck. Why?" There was a laugh of irony and a pause before he continued, "Because the person i wanted to marry just left me. Really, bébé? Quand même une petite explication à ce qui s'est passé! Un adieu! Même ça, je ne le mérite plus?" At least a little explanation for what happened! A goodbye! Even that, I don't deserve it anymore? He was crying and now, so were you.
"It doesn't feel nice, being dumped with a letter and not even knowing why et maintenant, je sais plus how to live without you à mes côtés. Pourquoi t'as fais ça? How am i supposed to continue believing que tu m'aime? Tu m'as détruit complètement, chérie. J'ai tout perdu today."
It doesn't feel nice, being dumped with a letter and not even knowing why and now, I don't know how to live without you by my side. Why did you do that? How am I supposed to continue believing that you love me? You destroyed me completely, darling. I lost everything today.
Heavy breathing took over for a few seconds and you could tell he had been trying not to make it too obvious that he was crying.
Your hand clasped over your mouth to muffle the sobs as you waited for Charles to continue, "Je voulais t’épouser. I was gonna tell you that we should start preparing for the wedding so we can get married in winter break mais il me semble que tu n'veux plus rien a faire avec moi et je n'ai aucune idée pourquoi. The lifestyle isn't something new et si tu était autant gêné depuis le début, you shouldn't have said yes when i proposed. Fuck, you really shouldn't have given me de l'espoir that i will get to call you my wife un jour, que je pourras passer le reste de ma vie avec toi, have our own children et notre propre famille à nous. Putain, tu n'aura jamais dû me laisser tomber si amoureux de toi if you knew you would leave at some point."
I wanted to marry you. I was gonna tell you that we should start preparing for the wedding so we can get married in winter break but it seems to me that you don't want anything to do with me anymore and I have no idea why. The lifestyle isn't something new and if you were so annoyed from it from the beginning, you shouldn't have said yes when I proposed. Fuck, you really shouldn't have given me hope that I will get to call you my wife one day, that I would get to spend the rest of my life with you, have our own children and our own family. Fuck, you should never have let me fall so in love with you if you knew you would leave at some point.
There was a long break after that and you could hear the sniffles and the rustling of sheets. You couldn't even imagine what he was thinking in these silent seconds.
"Je dois me taire, non? By the way, Max was announced champion, si t'en soucies même plus. I have to shut up, right? By the way, Max was announced champion, if you even care anymore. And... I love you still, a lot." He gasped the words out between sharp inhales and it made you want to go back to him just to hug him tight.
"Je sais plus si te veux que je t'aime ou non but that will never change the fact that i would die for you, même si tu pense that i don't even deserve a face to face break up. Je t'aime, even if i don't understand shit."
I don't know if you want me to love you or not but that will never change the fact that I would die for you, even if you think that I don't even deserve a face to face break up. I love you, even if I don't understand shit.
You locked your phone and tossed it aside, grabbing a pillow and holding it against your face, trying to muffle the crying.
You could've told him the reason this was happening but, knowing Charles, he would blame himself for everything. This, this was bad but he didn't have to feel guilty in this scenario. You were withholding all the guilt and you'd be happy bearing it forever if that meant Charles wouldn't be tinged by it.
No matter how bad this was, he would manage to get over it, even if after a while but you knew him and you knew he wouldn't cope well with knowing that he was the reason you fell back into the depths of your past insecurities.
A knock on your door interrupted your crying. You tossed the pillow away and wiped your eyes rapidly with the sweater's sleeves before saying "Come in."
You knew you couldn't avoid your family anymore. They were probably really concerned.
Your older brother peeked his head through the door with a cautious smile on his face.
"Hi." He started, taking just one step into the room and closing the door after him.
"Hey." You tried smiling back but teared up again at the attempt.
"Look, i'm not gonna be nosey." He said before he took a seat on the edge of the bed, "I just need to know if i need to kick some ass or anything. I don't really care that he's Leclerc in this case." He tried to joke.
"Please, if there’s any need to kick his ass i would've done it myself. I don't need any men to do it for me."
Your brother smiled at that, having expected that response.
"However, the only guilty person here is me." You continued and quickly wiped away the tear that escaped.
"Why?" He frowned.
"I left while he was mid-race." You clarified, your teeth abusing your inner cheek between words, "I just don't know how to live the lifestyle he has, you know?"
Your brother looked confused, "Yeah, i'm not buying that, the thing about life with him. You've been together for years, only now you realized his lifestyle? You live together, you're practically married so even when you do actually get legally married, there will barely be any difference." He started analyzing. "Something is off. What's the real reason you left?"
You caved in so fast but you didn't really have any energy in you to resist it.
"I've been getting so much hate, especially when I'm with him at races. I couldn't deal with it anymore."
Your brother, like everyone who knew you and Charles, wasn't a stranger to that. He nodded and appeared to be in deep thought about this.
"Did you try talking to him about it? Charles loves you so much, we can all see it, and i know he would be very understanding and helpful in this situation."
In your mind, the thought of opening up to Charles about this wasn't even present. After all, he also gets a lot of hate too. However, the criticism he received was mostly about his skills as a driver, in other words, nothing he couldn't control and improve. On the other hand, people hated you for you, for simply existing as Charles' partner.
"It's not that simple."
"Oh, but it is. Look, i understand it's difficult to read that shit but it's not right that you left him out of the blue, like you have no respect for what you have, or had, with him."
That angered you so fast, you quickly got off the bed to face your brother.
"Of course i have respect for him and our relationship!I'm- I was engaged to him, for fuck's sake!" The little correction you had to make pained you as it made this situation much realer.
"I'm sorry, but if my partner walked out on me like that, i wouldn't be okay with it. If you want to break up with him for such a vague reason, at least do it to his face. That guy loves you more than i've seen anybody love anyone before and i know you're my sister, but if you treat him like that, after such a difficult race as well, you don't deserve him."
Ever since you heard that last voicemail, there's been a part you've avoided thinking of.
Getting married in winter break, literally in a few months. Instead of that, you left him the ring and took off.
You knew he wanted to marry you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have proposed but the fact that he wanted to do it so soon was unexpected to you. It should've been the happiest surprise, instead it was tugging on your heartstrings.
"He wanted to get married after the season ended, in his winter break." You spoke in a whisper.
Before you could receive a reply, your mother's voice could be heard as she called for your brother.
"Look," he started as he got up, "just call him." He shot an accusatory finger at you, "He had a shit race yesterday and i think you'd be able to find some solutions to this together. " He kept talking until he was out the door.
"Wait!" You called for him, "What position did he end up in?"
"Defended P2 with inters turned into basically slicks but ended up P3 after a five second penalty for cutting a chicane in the last lap. I gotta go."
Needless to say, you couldn't bring yourself to actually call him but you did spend hours staring at his contact name, the little ring emoji you added to it a while back torturing you now. Eventually, you joined your mother in the living room, allowing her to distract you until your brother reappear, asking if you talked to Charles, to which you shook your head then watched him leave the house.
Hours later, you retreated back to your room, laying on your bed and scrolling through twitter again. The notifications had lessened compared to yesterday but there were still there, the hate still being a constant and an arguably increasing reoccurrence. Surprisingly though, it wasn't what you focused on nor what you cried about.
You had been letting the clip of you kissing Charles' forehead during the red flag replay for so long, you'd lost count of how many times it had repeated. All you could focus on was how comforting Charles seemed to find your presence.
Over the years, everyone kept telling you how you were the only person who was able to comfort Charles as more than just some temporary fix. When you were to one to receive him with open arms after an angering or disappointing moment, Charles would calm down within minutes. Even his mother had said that and even Mattia had noticed it, but you never saw it.
However, now that you were stood on the outside, looking into the relationship, you saw it clear as day. In such a stressful and traumatic place and moment, he looked content in a way and it caused you to break down crying, especially as you thought of him bearing the disappointment alone yesterday, only to face something worse when he found out you left.
Eventually, you fell asleep with the video playing.
The next morning, the sound of the doorbell echoed through the house and woke you up. You expected your mother to get it but it rang again and again until you groaned and headed to check who it was while rubbing your eyes with the sleeves of Charles' shirt that you were still wearing.
You checked your reflection on the hallway mirror. Sure, the swollen eyes were still prominent but you hadn't been expecting them to subside any time soon so you sucked it up and padded to the door, swinging it open while tugging the shirt down to cover some skin as you just realized how short the shorts were.
Then, you froze.
All sorts of emotions ran through your body. First, shock because, how and why? Second was some weird sort of relief. Third, and most dominantly, guilt.
Guilt was eating you alive as you stared at the man whose heart you broke. You couldn't bring yourself to move nor to look away but you couldn't really look for any longer.
"Um..." you started fumbling for something to say, rubbing at the back of your neck awkwardly.
"Can i come in?" He asked and even though the sentence was short, it was still enough to show how hoarse his voice sounded.
You nodded and moved aside. Charles immediately made his way inside.
"How- um, why did- You know what i mean." You struggled while closing the door shut.
"You were getting hate and instead of telling me, you left?" He sounded angry and you wanted to strangle your brother for obviously contacting Charles.
"Charles, please... I can't-"
"You can't? Let's say you desperately want go break up with me, why didn't you do it properly? And really? Suzuka out of all places?" He asked, his hands gestures emphasizing his point.
He was right and there was no way to escape that so you fell back into the couch behind you, tugging on your sleeves and picking at the cotton.
Before you knew it, Charles was sat by your side.
"I wasn't really thinking. Everything i read was hitting so close to home and it was giving me some sort of panic attack and i - i'm sorry for leaving like that." Your eyes prickled with tears again.
"The night before, i asked you so many times what was wrong. You had me worried sick when i found you crying. You could've told me - fuck, you should've told me." He sprung back to his feet, rubbing at his face in frustration.
"I didn't want you to know." You spoke quietly.
"Why? I thought we trusted each other with everything! And it's literally something that i caused so deserved to know..." His voice rose.
"See? This is exactly why. You will blame yourself for it. You can't control what some asshole type out on their phones, even if they're your fans. There's nothing you can do to stop it and i can't handle it and revert to being an insecure person so i did us both a favor and left!" You shouted back.
Charles was gaping at you.
"You're giving up that easily on years of us and all the fucking future we've planned? Tout à cause de quelques connards qui se cachent à l'abri de leurs petits écrans?" All because of some assholes hiding in the shelter of their small screens? He was huffing in irony, "If some assholes you don't even know are able to make you insecure, then, je suis désolé bébé, but you've never been confident enough then." Knowing it was a touchy subject, Charles regained his composure and regulated his tone.
"Oh, really? You're telling me how i feel, Charles? You know me better than i know myself? Oh, wow! What a fucking catch i let go of!"
"That's not-" he attempted a reply.
"Shut up."
"Chérie, please."
"Shut up!"
He took his seat back next to you and tried to grab your hand but you snatched it away so fast, making him nod in defeat.
"Okay." He murmured and slacked against the back of the couch, his leg bouncing and shaking the whole sofa with it.
A deafening silence took over for long, painful minutes during which you reverted back to crying while Charles stared blank up at the ceiling.
"What about all the things you say to me after bad races?" He sniffled beside you, making you realize he was crying as well, "All that shit about how we can get through everything together? How we can always be each other's comfort and safety? That there's nothing on this world we can't overcome as long as we keep in mind that's it's us against the problem, not against each other? Why doesn't it apply when it's you that needs me? Why's it only me that shares the issues and problems i'm facing so we can solve them together?" He ranted, not stopping for a breath while he lost control over the tears, "I want to help you through this."
"Arrête, s'il te plaît." Stop, please. You cried harder, got up and started pacing around the room, sobbing into the sleeves, hearing Charles crying too.
You've always been used to solving your problems on your own and while over the years, you learned to share the burden of some issues with Charles, you still couldn't bring yourself to openly talk about things like this, not because you didn't trust him enough to help you, but because you've never been comfortable sharing so much.
You kept walking back and forth, hands covering your bloodshot eyes until you collided against who you knew was Charles.
His arms wrapped around you, even when you tried resisting his touch, pushing against his chest, wanting to get away before you caved in and he knew you enough to know that. Eventually, you broke down in his hold and he let you cry it all out.
"Talk to me, please." He cooed in your ear, dragging you to sit with him on the couch.
You tried not to but it got suffocating and so, the questions rushed out.
"You would tell me if i was annoying you during race weekends, right? If i was limiting your freedom."
With every word, and as he realized the cruel remarks you'd been reading, Charles' heart broke more and more.
"What? I want you by side everyday of my life, chérie!" Subconsciously, and maybe even somewhat protectively, his arms tightened around you.
"They're right, in a way... You could get sick of me faster if i went with you everywhere, and if i kept gaining weight-"
"Baby..." he interrupted, "I don't see a single reason for me to get sick of you. You have a fun and amazing personality, you are so beautiful and you understand me like no one ever has. Every day i'm away from you, i can't wait to go back home because life feels - i don't know the word for it - but it feels full and complete with you. And the weight thing, fuck whoever said that. I wish you would love yourself and your body like i do. You're beautiful in every state."
You cried even harder into his shirt, the words he was saying making you realize it was a huge mistake, allowing anyone to mess with your relationship with him, but him easing your worries wouldn't stop the hate and the both of you knew it.
"I love you, Charlie."
"I love you too."
You sat still in that position for a while and that left you thinking of the way things online would never change, dreading that in fact.
"I know what you're thinking. Oui, on pourra jamais les stopper, j'en sais cela très bien." Yes, we can never stop them, I know that very well. Charles spoke up and you gulped at that, "But you could use it for your entertainment. Listen here, all those things they say, it's out of jealousy. You're at a grand prix and they're saying you never leave me alone? They're jealous you get to go for free and that you're dating a driver. Fuck with their minds, post confusing locations, or rub it in their faces that you're there and they're not. I guess what I'm trying to say is have the upper hand because someone who hates on other people online will always be below them. Let them be the insecure ones and keep in mind, everything that is point out negatively is something that they envy so much that they noticed it." He was speaking and moving his hands up and down your back comfortingly.
"And if a certain comment gets to you, come to me and tell me about it and i will prove it wrong in hundreds of different ways. I don't know of you've seen it bébé, mais tu as tes propre fans même and they are way more than the haters. If anything, that just proves my point that you're just so lovable." …but you even have your own fans…
Charles smiled and tilted your head up so he caught a glimpse of your face.
"Just, please, give us another shot and be completely honest with me. Even if you hide those kinds of things from me again - if you decide you want to stay with me - i will now know to look online when things feel off, so i just want your honesty."
You smiled and nodded, agreeing to everything but slightly confusing Charles.
"Yes to what part exactly?"
"Tout. Je veux tout avec toi. Et je vais toujours être honnête avec toi. Everything. I want everything with you. And I will always be honest with you. But first, i owe you a big apology. What i did was cowardly, the way i ran away. I'm sorry i hurt you, Charles." You kissed his neck, "I'm sorry i confused you and left without even saying goodbye." The kissed moved further up his jaw, "And i'm so sorry that i wasn't there after that shitshow, especially since i knew how stressed the first two laps made you. I feel like an asshole." You sealed the words with a kiss to his lips.
"It's okay, bébé. I understand it now." He pressed your lips together again.
"Doesn't excuse how insensitive i was. Is everyone alright?"
"Yeah, the race finished safely."
You nodded, "That's good." Then, you sat up a bit to see him better, "And as for the championship, your are still my champion and you will be the world's one day. You've got it in you and everyone sees it." Assuringly, you traced your hand softly along his cheek while he stared at you lovingly.
"I'm so lucky that i found you, tu sais?" you know? He pulled you back onto his chest, "Je t'adore." I adore you.
"Je t'adore également, crois moi." I adore you just as much, believe me.
You heard him sigh and relax in relief but he wasn't still for long. Within seconds, you felt him reach for his pant's pocket, digging through it weirdly in this position.
"Give me your hand." Charles instructed and you complied.
"Me donnerais-tu l'honneur de t'épouser, mon amour?" Would you give me the honour to marry you, my love? He asked, holding out the ring.
"Bien sûr." Of course. You chuckled, "L'honneur est vraiment complètement le mien." The honour is completely mine.
The both of you watched your hand as Charles slipped the ring back on your finger where it belongs with a big grin on his face.
Now, everything felt right again and you realized that you'd be able to conquer the world and its critics with this man by your side.
a/n: idk how to feel about the note as a picture so be sure to let me know if it’s s cringey as i find it. Thank you for reading!💕
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raapija · 19 days
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Hi there! I’ve been wanting to read some strollonso fics but don’t know where to start lol, I was wondering if you had any recs? :)
Oh! I definitely do!
I'm a terribly slow reader, but when something catches my interest, I CAN'T STOP, so (under the cut) these are some good ones that I've recently been eating up :>
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In My Mind, You Are Safe by fancastik
Warnings: Graphic depiction of crash/accident, depiction of injury, medical treatment/hospital
This will make you cry. It's heartwrenching, but I promise you it's very well written and has a happy ending (at least for now, there's going to be a part 4...). The characterization is insanely good and it will make you want to bang your head against a wall.
Quarter Past Midnight by LilShiro
Warnings: comically small scooter, tiny bit of sexual stuff
Short, sweet, also hurts you a bit... perfect. It's a really good relationship study, with snippets from throughout their time together.
Camera Roll by bottomtxt
Warnings: explicit sexual content
Sexting... Something they do so well. And then of course Nando races to Lance's flat to do it for real. Very tasty... And it has art to accompany it ! (once again advertising bottomtxt as the number one strollonso artist... so... check out the other posts as well, if you like spicy art... 😉)
First Kiss by scrollonso
Warnings: all chapters individually marked if they have warnings :)
I have to admit I'm SO BEHIND on this but the first chapters were SO GOOD ! And we love a good old fashioned alternate timeline fic 💁 Something for if you want a longer series !
I tried to pick fics that are different from one another, hope you find at least something for your own preference here ! 💚
Also, abusing this opportunity to push my own dumb strollonso content on you ! 😈 Check out all my au stuff here 💅✨
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goatbeard-goatbeard · 3 months
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Sure, Aziraphale lives in Soho and is THE southern pansy. But I’ve met multiple people in my own neighborhood who match Crowley’s exact description:
older trans/gnc person
military vet
living in their car
I cannot stress enough what a common combo that is, particularly for older trans folks. In my area, you can see the split between people who transitioned 10+ years ago vs. now, what kinds of experiences they had. There’s still a ways to go, but things have gotten dramatically better.
If you want to make things better even faster, vote in local elections.*
(that’s right, you’ve been tricked into reading a ✨🗳️ Voting Post 🗳️✨! Discover your civic obligations, fool!)
But seriously though, local politicians have TONS of influence on housing policy, and they really don’t hide their opinions. Even if their housing plans are awful, they’ll be easy to find on their campaign website.
They actually want to advertise those shitty plans, because those shitty plans are aimed at homeowners. Homeowners (1) have a stable address and (2) often worry about their home value. Both those factors make them super reliable voters.
Unfortunately, the “but my home value” folks always get riled up by low/no-cost housing. They’ll say it’s about “the character of the neighborhood”, but really, any increase in housing supply impacts the demand for their home investment. They also don’t want people visibly sleeping outside, so the combined effect is a neighborhood that blocks housing and harasses people for the crime of… peacefully sleeping in their car.
Whatever housing makes it through will often be too far away from necessary amenities or too busy/loud for folks with multiple overlapping traumas, whether from family or the jobs they took to get away from family (e.g. military).
But again, this is all very local politics, so you can outvote the Home Values crowd with a little bit of organizing!
For example: after voting, share your notes with your friends.** You have to research the candidates anyway, so why not pass around a little voter guide when you’re done?
List who you’re voting for in each position, and what info you saw that made you pick/avoid each person (this will also make your life easier the next time that person’s up for election). Even a very basic, bullet-point list can be the difference between someone forgetting the election date and filling out their entire ballot.*** Now instead of 1 vote, you’re moving a small handful of votes, which can have a big impact in local elections.
Also, creating a voter guide is surprisingly fun. There are some real characters in local politics, and you get to dunk on all their wacky policy ideas in your notes. An official voter guide will never say “<candidate name>: wtffffffffff”. But yours can!
*remember that local elections may happen more often than big-ticket elections. Search “<city name> election dates” and put reminders in your phone for a couple weeks before important deadlines, so you have time to research stuff.
**especially younger friends who may be less confident about voting their whole ballot, or unaware of different deadlines.
***this is one of the reasons why Christian conservatives are overrepresented in politics — they’re inherently organized because they already meet weekly (or more). It’s very easy for them to remind each other to vote. But we can steal this strategy! Don’t have a megachurch? That’s ok, remind your discord server to vote. Don’t have a Bible study? That’s ok, remind your D&D group, your boardgame group, or your knitting circle to vote.
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bluebirbbs · 8 months
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Take this doodle dump plus some comic panels as an advertisement since I only have one page left to finish ✨🍔
I spontaneously decided last month to completely re draw it because I hated it and now here we are 😭 so sorry
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chycoin · 2 months
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HUGE SPOILER AHEAD!!!
Watch “TRASH FRIENDS” before reading. If you haven’t watched it and still read this, pls don’t say I didn’t warn you 🫠👍
Just watched “TRASH FRIENDS” and the thumbnail really made me think this was going to be an episode focusing on the way Mario has been treated by Smg4 and his friends (at least that’s how I see it) but I wasn’t expecting an episode about Smg3’s insecurities and fears (mostly insecurities)
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I really was caught lacking because I was expecting something and I got the opposite lmao. I should be familiar with this guy’s content already and know that the only thing expected from these episodes is the unexpected xD, but anyways back to talking about the video.
In previous episodes we see that he gets a little bit of customers such as in the episode “You used to be cool” and “CEO OF RIZZ” but in this last mentioned episode he tries to advertise his café after Boopkins’s date works out in the end and so does the same in “SMG4’s NEWS.”
At first you think “Maybe he wants more than what he has” but after watching this episode you realize he’s actually struggling with his business and last weeks episode you change your view from his actions and see him as more desperate rather than greedy after watching this latest ep.
Constantly trying to get more people into his café and taking every single chance he can see to advertise no matter the place or time, like life depends on it.
And talking about chances ._.xD
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(This goober losing the video to a basketball, I’m dead😭)
Smg4 comes to this guy’s café for his help to get his “Michael Jordan Endorsement Video” back because boi lost it and he wants Smg3’s help because their “FRIENDS”
Of course Smg3 saw this as a chance to advertise his café because HOLY SHIT MICHAEL JORDAD!!! A famous basketball player that anyone would want to have the chance to meet and that’s a chance that Smg3 is willing to take because it means his business would BLOW UP *someone throws them a chair*
Btw when Mario shows up to offer his help, I expected Smg4 to be more happy that he has his avatar buddy always trying to help him but instead…
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Don’t get me wrong, I know they got a little weirded out about the fact that Mario is a regular around the Junkyard due to him eating at that location but still, that dialogue still sort of hurt me man qwp
But anyways back to my review of this episode and giving my acoustic povs that nobody asked for.
They arrive at the junkyard and after being there for 5 seconds, they find the legendary pokemon that goes by the name of “Michael Jordan Endorsement Video” (sorry for my weak ass jokes, I just woke up and my humor is a little broken rn)
After having the video on sight, Mario pulls a Yoshi and beats the crap out of the spaghetti plate where the video so happened to land on, in one go. Obviously, causing the other two to try and force the USB out of him but both failed as Mario did a BLJ through the trash and forcing 3 & 4 to dig through everything to find him.
Now… the part I was dying to talk about and hopefully I can let out my thoughts the proper way.
As the two spend an entire evening just digging through trash, they start a friendly conversation until Smg4 touches the Smg3’s CnB topic which causes Smg3 to get nervous and lie about everything being fine because he has something that every human being has unfortunately, ✨I N S E C U R I T I E S✨.
Which I understand because bruh, 3’s been seen as a bad copy of 4 who’s the total opposite of him for a good piece of his life, if not his ENTIRE existence and now that’s he’s going through a change in his life for the better, he’s going to face a lot of these insecurity episodes because he’s so used to being seen as the bad guy, the bad copy, The Villain. Always people seeing what 4 does and never looking what 3 does which got him into that dark path.
Is like the Sun and the Moon kind of thing. The Sun (Smg4) can shine the brightest while the moon (Smg3) is just a floating rock shining the least. I’ll bring this up again at the end of the review.
But yeah, Smg3 has insecurities and is more shown when they reach the entrance of Mario’s hiding spot.
-Part 2 🫠👍-
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13thdoctorposts · 11 months
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These are My Masters
They were everything I could have hope for in actors, humble, funny and gracious. Seeing them together was iconic and epic! I’m ready for my Missy/SpyMaster multi-Master spin off now.
So glad I got to experience them together in person! So crazy in the UK media landscape it took them going to New Zealand to meet.
My favourite Sacha story was saying he had to send in an audition tape to Chibs of his interpretation of the Master and Chibs was like, great but could you take it down a notch, because the Master isn’t on drugs. Could you imagine a more unhinged Master? That could have been epic! 5 episodes was not enough of my little SpyMaster.
My favourite Michelle story was her saying when she pinned Peter to the wall and kissed him and she held her other hand back behind her and Jenna just took her hand and held it in her own and she turned to Jenna and said you’re weird. Lol
They were delightful and this meeting iconic. 🔥🔥🔥✨✨✨
*wish phone cameras were as good as they advertise but turns out they are not. Lol
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