#but damn it sounds better then this boxset already
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I can't even say my hopes were raised with Luke being confirmed to be among the cast for 'Ghost of Bannerman Road', because it was clear current DW don't know what to do with Luke the moment they shoved him into UNIT (alongside his husband, Sanjay, who has zero character beyond being married to Luke at this point) and for his return in these audio books, literally him and Rani be against each other because of current DW pro-militarying Luke to the point of trying to tell Rani to not look into shit just cause UNIT says no, despite Luke and his mom and friends having always looked into shit, even when told not to.
But the fact that even in the same story his creator and arguably most personal villain, Wormwood, appears in, and he still gets sidelined and doesn't even interact with her...just...great, they really cannot even do the most obvious thing to do when having Luke and Wormwood together again years since 'Enemy of the Bane'.
And given description said UNIT has Sarah's house suddenly, I'm guessing more pro-military Luke in this shit.
And...wow, couldn't even use one of the best villains in SJA properly...not even a surprise...
#even the review admits this one wasnt as good as the last boxset#and i mean i wasnt huge on the last boxset either#but damn it sounds better then this boxset already#honestly imagine putting luke and wormwood next to each other on the cover#and not doing anything with the two#because unit shit and also for some reason just not knowing what to do with luke#and sanjay cause yeah that dude has zero personality and life beyond being married to luke and#according to tales of tardis also being in unit for some reason#seriously according to some DW info he studied biology...why couldnt we get him as a medical person#we dont really get many characters in current who who go into the medical field#since even with Martha they flip-flopped on doctor and soldier with her#(better shut up before i ramble more and more but in short:#no thanks i absolutely hate it)
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Devblog #12 – Somewhere, Over the Double Fucking Rainbow
Hello there! This is Chris, hijacking the RoR2 devblog to share a few notes on music.
Tl;dr:
Yes, I am writing the music for RoR2
No, there won’t be a Coalescence 2
Chanson à nouveau..
The day I would start composing for RoR2 was a day I looked forward to with equal amounts of excitement and fear. The score to the original RoR is one I hold very dearly. It is music I loved writing, created during a very special time of my life, infused by each and every musical influence of my childhood and adulthood. It’s a perfect capture of me at that particular space and time. It also happens to be my most successful soundtrack to date, primarily because it’s part of a great game that people love to play, but also—if people’s feedback is to be believed—because it’s not too bad in its own right.
Now I find myself exploring the musical world or RoR once again and I can assure you it’s an awe-inspiring place! It’s also immense, savage and untrodden... You can witness this for yourself in the wonderful images posted on this blog and all over the internet, but let me tell you, it’s one thing looking at it and a whole different thing experiencing it first-hand.
The move to 3D was a bold one and I’m its biggest supporter. Honestly, even if it didn’t offer this amazing opportunity to expand the game’s universe into this whole new level of detail and immersion, I would still embrace it only because it gives me the perfect excuse—the obligation, even—to avoid repeating myself. The thing I feared most starting this project was writing the same music all over again. Not because I don’t like the existing music (I love it) but because the existing music already… exists. What would be the point of Coalescence 2 (some people have actually asked for it)? If anyone wants to listen to Coalescence it’s right there for the listening. The RoR OST is a product of very specific, irreplicable circumstances. Even if I wanted to write sequels to these tracks, I couldn’t. They would be mere parodies.
So, I’m writing new music for a new game. Hopefully it will be better music for a better game, but I’m going to be satisfied if turns out being good music for a good game. I know many of you will not be happy reading this but I ask you to be open minded and trust me. If you liked the music for the first game chances are, you’ll like this one too. It’s the same person doing the writing (and performing, and producing, and mixing, and mastering) after all. It will be different, but it won’t be that different.
Paying my Dews
Let’s make sure we avoid any misunderstanding here: I don’t take the RoR musical legacy lightly. Rest assured that many things will carry over, not least of which the RoR motif. The usual odd meter and various polyrhythms will be featured prominently too. There’s drumming, lots of drumming, way too much drumming…. Several cameos of familiar instruments and even entire sections that will sound very reminiscent to old players. And then, there’s the unsung (pun intended) hero: form. Even though you can’t literally hear it you can certainly feel it. Form is the glue holding the music together. Just like with the first game, I’m working my ass off to fit these new tracks into meticulously woven forms.
As such, all the above elements that are part and parcel to the RoR sound will not be let behind. As previously mentioned, this is terra incognita we’re heading into and only a fool would go into the unknown without a flashlight. I plan to use the original music to illuminate all the new one hidden in the darkness beyond.
Forecast
It’s still too early to tell what the new soundtrack will actually sound like. I guess it will sound more like the original RoR than anything else—a definition as intentionally vague as can be. A word I liked using to describe the first soundtrack was “monolithic”. I feel the RoR2 OST will be even more so. To use a classical music analogy, if RoR1 was a suite, RoR2 will be more like a symphony. Don’t worry though, I’m still delivering discreet pieces of music that you will be able to tell apart (and prefer over others). Let’s just say I’ve set up my sessions like communication vessels of sorts.
For the time being, you can sample some new music in the game’s teaser and this SoundCloud playlist (which I plan to sparsely update). There’s a lot of material already written but most of it is still being forged into shape. There are also new things we’re testing to make the in-game music more dynamic and meaningful to the player, which have directly impacted my workflow. For the moment, all I can say I’m working on it steadily but slowly—slower than usual (sorry, Duncan & Paul!). As I said, while I’m very excited I’m also quite fearful. There’s plenty of pressure to satisfy the many fans of the music from the original game (thank you all so much, btw!!!) and even more self-imposed pressure to write music that I feel proud of and enjoy listening to for years to come. You see, I’m trying to uncover music I’ve not written before and I need to make sure my excavation brings to surface more than just petrified feces…
FAQ
When? When the great Magma Worm in the sky deems us worthy.
Where? All over the place, starting with Bandcamp.
Vinyl? Probably. Hopefully in a nice boxset with an RoR1 re-print.
Engineer Edition 2? Yes, but no sheet music this time around. Too many arpeggiators and modular patches for it to make any sense.
DEADBOLT 2? I sure damn hope so!
“It Can’t Rain All the Time”
That will be all for now! If you made it this far, thank you for reading and see you next time! If you want to keep the conversation going you can find me in the social media outlets below, where I will post the occasional RoR2 update, answer all your questions and share pictures of my cats:
Twitter | Facebook | Instagram |YouTube |SoundCloud
Take care,
Chris
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time war 2 live reactions because i actually wrote down my thoughts + feelings as i was listening and there sure were a lot of them
havoc
narvin being simultaneously delighted that romana is exonerated and disappointed that now he has to be deputy again is wonderful
i really can’t quite figure out livia. it seems like maybe she’s starting to regret resurrecting rassilon but also she’s fairly secretive? not in a devious way though idk i can’t read her.
“you mean i’m old.” did i ask to be implicitly reminded that this is narvin’s only life? no i did not.
i love romana and narvin so much ughh. this conversation where he admits that he’s embarrassed about losing his footing and criticizes himself for not being cut out of field work and says he’s just so tired, and romana just listens and is there for him and her soft voice when she says “you could have died” and her gentle laugh and “nonsense” when he’s hard on himself, plus their chat about their families... my heart!!
livia: “if you and i keep meeting like this we may end up becoming friends.” listen i’m not opposed
“if i were a less reserved time lord i could kiss you.” wait wait wait narvin?? what??
“i’m also aware how protocol gets in the way.” yeah narvin break the rules i believe in you
narvin talking about how much rassilon scares him and he’s just quietly freaking out so much ahhhhhhh @ the universe give him a break!!
i did not expect to actually care about trave and also i didn’t expect him to be so abruptly executed — but it does show how serious things are
i so badly want romana and livia to work together!! (livia you made a terrible mistake last boxset but you know what so has everyone else at some point in this range you definitely get a second chance in my heart)
romana is down to fight hell yeah
partisans
romana: i don’t want you to go / narvin: i want to go / romana: ...okay
romana gave in with surprisingly little argument considering she is known to be stubbornness incarnate. i’m not complaining it’s just interesting.
(also don’t think about romana trying not to be terrified every time he goes away, terrified that he, like leela, like ace, is not going to come back and she’ll be completely alone)
all these references to how old narvin is are stressing me out. i know he doesn’t die in this boxset but like...what are you doing here
oh i really hope livia stands up when it counts
narvin cares so much about saving lives, protecting this planet — he’s truly grown so far from where he started in weapon of choice when he didn’t care about so-called “collateral damage.” gosh i love him so much
side note there hasn’t been enough angst and pining about leela this box set...i am here to be whacked in the heart with feelings please get on this
collateral
dammit livia you’re rooting for genocide now? i wanted to believe in you, do something to stop this!!
“i can almost understand it.” “...i’ll pretend i didn’t hear that.” in this conversation narvin is remarkably poised and emotionally distant considering it was his time lock that broke and also how desperate he was in the last episode
oh eris went to warn them! he’s a good one, @ romana and narvin you can keep him
“the cia is in defiance of its president.” “well, someone needs to be.” HELL YEAH NARVIN
i’m going to personally fight livia
I WILL DEFINITELY FIGHT RASSILON i should have seen that coming but i didn’t (and even after romana figured out that he was the one who broke the time lock it took me a few moments to catch on) and he is the actual worst but mantus and livia SURE ARE UP THERE
no please let knyla make it!! NO!! KNYLA!!
AND NO ONE GOT AWAY i mean i guess i kind of expected that was how this story was going to go because i know romana tries to assassinate rassilon in the next one and this definitely sets up her motivation but god this is just so, so horrible
and only knyla’s voice lives on...
romana is quietly sympathetic to the fact that eris fell in love with this girl from another world who he then lost (and not to make everything subtly about romana/leela but listen...let me have my feelings okay)
and romana sends him away to keep him safe they really are still losing more and more friends
DALIA TOO DID THEY OUBLIETTE HIM wait no they still remember him he’s just gone
is there anyone left for romana and narvin other than each other??
“RASSILON MUST DIE!” oh big mood
assassins
hey don’t throw jabs at the academy that’s rude
side note: did they say all non gallifreyan students will be expelled? does that mean there have actually been non gallifreyan students there all this time? i was never quite sure what exactly ended up happening with the academy after series 6 (did ace go to the academy specifically or did she somehow just join up with the cia? i can’t remember) so it’s nice to get some context
“i imagine spending your entire life sitting on the fence is extremely uncomfortable.” drag her!!
oi you don’t get to throw out leela (and ace’s) names like that you asshole
so they have been having secret meetings about their friends, good i was getting worried. i’m glad to hear they know brax did something, and also the softness in their voices when talking about leela i’m!!!!
oh hearing this conversation through a recording but not knowing who exactly is listening is very chilling
romana i believe in you
“we’ve come this far together. will you really abandon me now?” “leela supported you, look what happened to her. i said not to involve the master --” “are you blaming me for that?” “no, i --”
THE ACTING IN THIS SCENE
there are so many subtle nuances and emotional layers here it hurts but it’s so good!!
“i wondered how far you would follow me. it seems i’ve found the bridge you won’t cross.” i don’t think she’s ever brought up narvin’s intense loyalty so explicitly wow
truly that entire romana/narvin scene in the mountains was an absolutely stunning performance
hey mantus don’t come at the cia — also is he trying to seduce narvin to the dark side yeah like that’ll work OH NO ARE THEY GOING TO OFFER HIM REGENERATIONS BACK OH NO I’M HAVING FEELINGS
narvin would never betray romana but that just means this is going to hurt
also side note i still haven’t gotten an answer as to whether or not romana Knows about what narvin did in ascension (and why)
ohhhh narvin’s fear of rassilon vs his love for and loyalty to romana oh this is so much
oh....rassilon Knows
does the fact that they straight up talked about the end of ascension mean something beyond this scene though? is it going to get brought up to romana? or does she already know and i missed something?
you can’t drive romana and narvin apart rassilon it’s never going to work
MANTUS how dare you dangle ace and leela in front of narvin like that!?!? (also side note: earth is in a time lock!?)
livia AT LAST (and oh it was her watching them earlier!)
no narvin don’t ruin this!! (also please tell me you’re okay)
oh come on livia don’t lose your conviction now
is rassilon really being nostalgic for the old times of cutthroat betrayal? ...yeah sounds about right
oh interesting is rassilon going to regenerate?
“you would really give up your lives for her.” “narvin...” “i’ve done it once. it was somehow easier the second time.” “i could never have divided you.” DAMN RIGHT MANTUS also i’m so emotional i can’t believe narvin actually said that in front of romana
also how romana tries to shield narvin from blame in that scene
and yet again...dammit livia
“i failed.” romana fought so hard this boxset to make things better and got up every time she was knocked down, and it’s so devastating to hear her finally give up and break down
“i don’t have a home.” she’s fought so hard and this is how it ends — exiled in disgrace from gallifrey...i love her so so much and my heart is breaking for her
i knew generally how time war 2 ended but truly this is an incredible launch point for the next box set FEBRUARY WHEN
#gallifrey audios#oh dear this is long and rambling#this is like 10% side character and plot stuff#20% my emotional rollercoaster re: livia#and 70% being extremely emotionally compromised over romana and narvin#individually and together#emily listens to big finish#ramblings#narvin#romana#livia#eris#rassilon
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Moving Day || Tristan, Meg, & Jeremiah
Tristan: It had been nearly two weeks since Tristan's meeting with Jeremiah and a full week of Ronan telling him several times a day that he needed to get in touch with him so he could get laid.
Tristan didn't plan on doing that any time soon, but he did need to get in touch with Jeremiah. Especially once his mother had told him that she'd found a couple of potential places for Jeremiah to live.
{Text to Sunshine Man} Hey Sunshine Man :)
Jeremiah: Jeremiah smiled at the sight of the message. That must mean an apartment has been found, right?! Dobby will soon be a free elf!
{Text: Tristan} ACK! A WILD FISHERMAN APPEARS
{Text: Tristan} SUNSHINE MAN USES: HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
Tristan: Oh, god. He'd forgotten how quickly and easily this man could get a smile out of him.
{Text} I'm doing good!
{Text} You?
Jeremiah: {Text} Good!
He sent a picture of himself in a bright yellow hoodie, hugging a boxset of Batman: The Animated Series
{Text} I've clearly been VERY busy!! How's your 1000 injuries?
Tristan: Tristan chuckled.
{Text} They've mostly healed. Got some new scars to add to my collection.
{Text} Too busy to have breakfast with my mama and find a new place to live?
Jeremiah: {Text} That's good!!!
{Text} I sent that message too quickly before I finished reading what you wrote It isn't good that you're gonna have scars im sorry
{Text} Unless you think it's a good thing in which case it's totally a good thing and I take back what I said!!!
{Text} But if you think it's a bad thing I'm sorry.
{Text} You shouldn't think it's a bad thing though Im sure they look great and that you'll make peace with them!
{Text} Unless they ruin your self-esteem in which case I'll help you look into ways of removing scars, if that's what you want. In which case that's okay.
{Text} Tristan: Tristan's face already hurt, this was ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. He was far too old to be having this kind of reaction to a happy man being himself.
{Text} I'm just fine with my scars, sunshine man, your reaction is fine
{Text} How about tomorrow? I can come pick you up around 9 and we can go to the bakery
Jeremiah: {Text} 9? am? That still exists? They haven't cancelled that yet?
{Text} I'll do my best O Captain, My Captain! See you then! : D
Tristan: {Text} We could make it 9:30 if 9 is too early? Or 10 even
Jeremiah: {Text} NOW I FEEL BAD
{Text} Please make it for 10 my body would appreciate it...
Tristan: He laughed.
{Text} 10 it is XD
{Text} See you tomorrow!
Jeremiah: {Text} Thanks!!! See ya. Take care!
He should probably... go to sleep right now...
Tristan: After texting Jeremiah, Tristan called his mom and told her they'd meet her at the bakery tomorrow at ten and to save them a table if she got there first.
The next morning at 9:50, he was knocking at Jeremiah's door.
Jeremiah: Tristan would hear gasping.
"You're EARLY!!"
Tristan: "It's ten!" Tristan laughed.
Jeremiah: "Ten TO ten!" and now for frantic attempts of dressing and drying after spending forty minutes singing in the shower.
Tristan: "Close enough! Sorry, I tried really hard to be late."
Jeremiah: "You didn't try HARD ENOUGH. You have a BOAT, you could've been HOURS late!"
Tristan: "I didn't sail here!" he chuckled. "I drove. And being hours late would've been rude."
Jeremiah: He opens the door, adjusting the collar around his neck. Why is it so - oh. His shirt is on backwards. He'll just... slowly... close the door and fix that...
Tristan: Jeremiah would be greeted with a grin that slowly became a laugh as the door closed.
Jeremiah: Okay! The door swung open again to reveal Jeremiah and his wide smile.
"Hi!"
Tristan: Tristan smiled back. "Well good morning, sunshine man. Ready for food?"
Jeremiah: "Pff. Always." He checks he has everything and then steps forward to shut the door behind him.
Tristan: "Then follow me." Tristan led them back downstairs and out to his truck.
"It doesn't smell like fish, promise," he said as he opened the door for Jeremiah.
Jeremiah: "I'll be the judge of that, sir." he replies as he gets into the truck. He looks around, inspecting everything, especially what was or wasn't hung over the rear-view mirror.
Tristan: "It's clean!" He closed the door and made his way around the truck.
Which it was. He'd taken extra care to make sure his truck was clean in preparation for today, and had even hung an air freshener from his rearview mirror along with the various bits of sea glass and seashells that were already there.
Jeremiah: "Hey I've got a question." he says when Tristan joins him in the truck. "Why can people hear the ocean in seashells? What's that about?"
Tristan: "It's not really the ocean," Tristan said as he pulled onto the road. "It's the ambient noise resonating inside the walls of the shell. The pitch of the sound depends on the size of the shell, how much air is in it, that kinda thing. But, boring facts aside, that resonating happens to sound like waves crashing on a shore."
Jeremiah: "Hey! That's so not boring." He got comfortable in the seat, looking at the other. "Pretty cool, and sad. People think they're hearing something... big and open but they're really just hearing a small little shell. It's like... the illusion of freedom."
Tristan: "I think it's just this very human need to inject wonder into our everyday lives. It's sad if that's the only source of wonder in someone's life, though."
Jeremiah: Hmm...
"I think that's good. The injecting wonder into the mundane part. Like, there's nothing wrong in being amazed by everything. Look at this truck! How awesome is it that all you have to do is push your feet and move your arms and this super heavy piece of machinery does what you tell it to?! And how cool is it that your phone is literally just wires and electricity and you can TALK TO PEOPLE INSTANTLY?!"
Tristan: No one on earth would be short of wonder in their lives with Jeremiah around. His sense of wonder was healthy enough for ten people.
"You're absolutely right. We're literally living in the future we imagined as children. We've got electric cars and VR videogames and huge, colorful cities, and bullet trains and AI."
Jeremiah: "And yet we STILL haven't found a way to keep boats from tipping over when waves are a bit big!"
Tristan: "Ah well, Mother Nature can't be contained with technology."
Jeremiah: "What about with hover boats?"
Tristan: “Those defy physics.”
Jeremiah: "In WHAT WORLD?"
Tristan: “In this one,” he chuckled. “Mother Nature doesn’t keep you on the ground, gravity does.”
Jeremiah: "Listen. The more you learn about science, the less you know and understand. The possibilities are endless. Hover boats will totally be a thing one day!"
Tristan: “They kind of are. Don’t know if they actually hover but they’re called hover boats.”
Jeremiah: LOUD GASP.
"GET ONE!!"
Tristan: “I’d have nowhere to put it! Or any use for it for that matter.”
Jeremiah: "NO USE FOR A HOVER BOAT?!"
Tristan: "I already have a ship and a car!" he laughed. "Got land and water travel covered."
Jeremiah: "What about air travel, Tristan? What. About. That?!"
Tristan: “Plane.”
Jeremiah: "And DO you have a plane?!"
Tristan: “No, but it’s super easy to get a plane ticket whenever I need to fly somewhere, which is almost never.”
Jeremiah: "That's not the same. Soz, dude."
Tristan: Tristan laughed. “Be that as it may, I don’t think the hover boats we currently have actually fly. I think they float like...an inch off the ground?”
Jeremiah: "Huh. I wonder how much power it takes just to float an inch above the ground. They should make salt-water fueled boats and wind-powered airplanes. That just makes SENSE."
Tristan: “It does. But the people in charge rarely do things that make sense.”
Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped, "Don't talk about the people in charge!" He whispered, "They're probably listening right now!"
Tristan: “You’re right,” Tristan whispered back. Then, at normal volume, “I mean of course they made the right decisions! And so smart too!”
Jeremiah: "SO SMART, WOW I WISH I COULD BE THEM. SO MUCH RESPECT."
Tristan: “Right? I feel so safe all the time!”
Jeremiah: "I don't know about you, but I never ever cover my laptop webcam with tape because of how safe I feel. Also Black Mirror should be cancelled."
Tristan: “Well of course not, there’s definitely not some random FBI dude watching our every move. Completely insane. Black Mirror is trash TV.”
He was trying his best not to laugh as he parked in front of the bakery.
Jeremiah: Jeremiah grinned tapped his index to his lips. Yep! Keep it shtum!
He stretched when the car parked and went to open the car door. "Is she already here?"
Tristan: “Um....” Tristan got out and looked around for his mom’s little convertible. “No, not yet. Let’s grab a table. Inside or out?”
Jeremiah: "Uhhhhh INSIDE 'cause otherwise you have to deal with flies!"
Tristan: “Inside it is,” he said with a grin.
The door was held open for Jeremiah.
Jeremiah: "Damn, you really know how to treat a lady!" His smile matched Tristan's as he entered and looked around.
Tristan: “I try my best. Hey, Laura!” he called to the woman behind the counter.
“Hi! I’m out of blueberry muffins, you have to wait for the next batch.”
“And my mama says she knows me better than I know myself.”
Laura chuckled. “Your mama stopped feeding you breakfast every day. Sit, I’ll bring you some coffee.”
“Coffee and...” Tristan turned to Jeremiah. “What would you like to drink?”
Jeremiah: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tristan is a blueberry muffin man!! Muffins must look so small in his big beefy fisherman hands.
"A STRAWBERRY MILKSHA- I mean. Coffee. Pfft. I'm an adult. Coffee. Tea. Water. Taxes. I'm-" gonna go sit down now.
Tristan: Laura's face was a mixture of confusion, amusement of delight as she looked to Tristan for some clarification.
"Two coffees and a glass of orange juice," he said, following Jeremiah to the table.
Jeremiah: .............. Dammit Jeremiah doesn't LIKE coffee!
"So excited about my coffee." he sat down and folded and refolded the napkin. "So - such a - coffee. Caffeine. Because I don't have enough energy naturally."
Tristan: Tristan just grinned and watched Jeremiah be flustered for a little bit.
"Coffee's for my mama. Ordered you juice."
Jeremiah: "... Oh. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Thanks." he pushed the napkin aside. "I lied, I don't like coffee and I'm not an adult, I'm sorry."
Tristan: "No problem. I don't think I count as an adult either so don't even worry about it."
Jeremiah: "Really?! Do you watch cartoons?"
Tristan: "Old ones, yeah. Looney Tunes, Yogi, that kinda thing."
Jeremiah: "Awwww that's cute. Little blueberry muffin man."
Tristan: "Wait, what?" he chuckled. "Little blueberry muffin man?"
Jeremiah: "Yeah! Didn't that individual over there say you're basically addicted to blueberry muffins?"
Tristan: "Addicted is a strong word. I just have one a minimum of three times a week and prefer them over all other muffins."
Jeremiah: "That's just what an addict would say!" Jeremiah placed a hand on Tristan's, "It's okay. We'll get you help."
Tristan: He laughed. "Just wait until you see these muffins, you'll understand completely."
That was the sight Meg walked in on. Her son's happy, laughing face as a handsome man she didn't recognize touched his hand.
Could this be...?
"Oh, hey, Meg!"
Laura's voice turned her attention away at the same moment it drew Tristan's away from his companion.
"Hey, ma!"
Jeremiah: Jeremiah looked up, standing with a smile.
"Hi!" he waved, "I'm Jeremiah, the homeless guy."
Tristan: Oh, goodness, there was a lot to process here. Focus, Megan, she told herself.
"Hello, Laura! And hello to the two of you!"
She approached the table and held out a hand to Jeremiah. "I'm Meg, the fisherman's mama. And I'd say you're far from homeless, the Wayside is lovely. Lovely but not a permanent home." She sat in the chair Tristan pulled out for her and kissed his cheek in greeting.
Jeremiah: Jeremiah hesitated but didn't want to be rude. He'll just ignore the visions. He can do it!!! He took her hand and shook it, smiling widely at them both.
"Awwww." He said to the little kiss, "I won't say that I'm jealous out loud but just know that I totally am. Parent kisses are the best kisses." He returned to his seat. "Did you have to travel far to get here?"
Tristan: Meg smiled. "Well all of Tristan's friends have called me mama for as long as I can remember so if the spirit moves you, go on and do the same." She shook her head. "Not at all, my house isn't too far off the square. Ya'll been waiting long?"
Tristan shook his head. "Nope, just got here a little while ago. Ordered you coffee. Here it comes now."
"Aw, thank you, baby. And thank you, Laura."
"No problem!" Laura set down two mugs of coffee and a giant glass of orange juice for Jeremiah. "What are ya'll having this morning?"
Jeremiah: Mama?? Jeremiah probably took that a little too to heart. He had never had a mother. He wondered what it was like.
"Thank you!!! Do you do waffles?!" The deep train of thought came to an abrupt stop at the thought of food.
Tristan: Laura grinned. "Yes, we do, and let me tell you I fought hard for them to be on the menu. We do them topped with powdered sugar and your choice of fruit."
Jeremiah: "Well then you're an ANGEL and I choose strawberries and you're the ruler of all the land. Also this orange juice is the best thing I've ever had and I haven't even tasted it yet, I just know."
Tristan: Watching Laura's reaction was like a flashback to watching Elsie's. Her face lit up and her cheeks colored ever so faintly.
"Goodness! You just made my whole entire week!" she chuckled. "You're getting a whole heap of strawberries." She turned to Tristan. "Your weight in blueberry muffins for you." Not a question, a statement that went uncontested by Tristan. "And for you, Meg?"
"Give me one of the cheese souffles."
"All rightie, will do. Back in a sec."
Jeremiah: "A cheese soufflé?? That's a thing?" Whispered to Meg, as if it was a secret.
Tristan: She nodded. "Not just a cheese souffle. A four cheese souffle."
Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped. "People who are lactose intolerant must seriously hate it."
Tristan: "They really must. It's a shame, really. They're missing out."
Jeremiah: "I bet it's delicious. I hope you enjoy it!"
Tristan: "You should try it sometime! They make one with spinach, too."
Jeremiah: "I will! Will you come back here with me so I can? Wouldn't feel right without you. It would be like... if there was a bunch of leaves everywhere but no trees. Just wrong. And kinda scary."
Tristan: Another one bites the dust, Tristan thought, smiling as he watched his mother be utterly charmed by Jeremiah. The sunshine man had a real talent for that.
"Aren't you the sweetest? Where on earth did Tristan find you? All his friends are salty sailors."
Jeremiah: "It was my birthday so I was having a birthday meal and Tristan got sat next to me and told me happy birthday and I said 'you too' and then died and came back to life."
Tristan: Meg laughed, not unkindly. "Well it's good someone finally said it to him. He forgets it every other year."
Jeremiah: "FORGETS his birthday?" He looked at Tristan incredulously.
Tristan: Tristan squinted at his mother before saying, "I'm a busy man! Days start to blur when you have to get up before the asscrack of dawn every day."
Jeremiah: "When is it??" He brought out his phone so that he could make a note in his calendar.
Tristan: “March fifteenth,” said Tristan. “I get all the Caesar jokes.”
Jeremiah: "Wait... we met on February 28th... and it's been... so your birthday is..." He counts on his fingers.
Tristan: “In a couple of days,” Meg supplied.
Jeremiah: "OH MY - WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO FOR IT?! Or, y'know. What are you gonna do for it? I totally don't expect to be invited if you do something, even though I would definitely day yes, but you gotta do something!"
Tristan: Meg chuckled and looked at her son. “Go on, Tristan. Tell him what you’re gonna do for your birthday.”
“.....Work.”
Jeremiah: The light in Jeremiah's eyes died. He picked up his orange juice and leaned back in his seat, sipping and judging Tristan at the same time.
Tristan: “Aw, come on now. Tourist season is upon us, people are placing bigger orders.”
Jeremiah: "Theeeeeen let me help! One more person would make the whole thing quicker, right? We can do it, you can get off work earlier and celebrate without missing out!"
Tristan: “I can’t ask you to work for me on my birthday.”
“Just bother him until he takes the day off,” Meg offered. “He gets real annoyed if you send him multiple texts in a row.”
Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed, "What?! I always send like a thousand in one go! I must seriously piss you off. Oops - sorry!" He covered his mouth, looking at Meg. "Ironic that I have the sailor mouth, huh?"
Tristan: “Oh honey, you’re fine, I’ve heard worse. The kind of texts I’m talking about aren’t multiple helpful texts.” She smiled at her son’s glare. “They’re the kind where you send one for every word in a sentence.”
Jeremiah: "I mean... I definitely do that. Do you hate me, Tristan?!" He gasped. "You should take the day off work on your birthday to decide whether or not you hate me. The fishes will still be there the next day."
Tristan: Tristan shook her head. “Nope. You’re nowhere near her level. She’s an English major, she finds the most complicated way to structure a sentence and then goes and sends me texts that only have a comma. She’ll break you.”
Jeremiah: Jeremiah grinned. "Please do it to me!"
Tristan: “Look what you did, Megan.”
Meg burst out laughing.
Jeremiah: Fear and confusion flashed over Jeremiah's face. He was ready to clear the table so that her swing wouldn't knock anything other... but she... laughed...
White people... are wild...
"Did y- did- uh-" he's broken.
Tristan: “Mama has a troll sense of humor, forgive her.”
“I hang around college students all day, blame them.” She smiled at Jeremiah. “I would love to send you whole sentences in individual texts. I also still say you should talk Tristan into taking his birthday off.”
Jeremiah: He leaned across the table and whispered to her, "Do you think I have that kind of power? With great power comes great responsibility..."
Tristan: She nodded. “I really think you do. I believe in you.” Look how much you already make him smile and laugh, she added in her head.
Jeremiah: He hummed and leaned back.
"Sir Tristan! I now declare you not working on your birthday!" He grabs a napkin and pretends to bang it on the table. "COURT ADJOURNED!"
Tristan: Tristan gave a good-natured chuckle. He should’ve known her mom would take to Jeremiah enough to gleefully enter into cahoots with him.
“What if I take a half day?”
Jeremiah: "Then I'll work with you. Is that what you want? Really? I'll end up making friends with the fish or feeling bad for them and sending them back in the water. You might as well take the whole day."
Tristan: "A couple of hours early in the morning then. I have traps I need to bait and check."
Jeremiah: "Can't the dude you work with do it?"
Tristan: "I'm the one with the ship."
Jeremiah: "What's the worst that could happen if you didn't work at all?"
Tristan: "Well..." Okay, you got him there.
Jeremiah: Jeremiah slyly offered his hand down the side of the table for Meg to give him a low high five.
Tristan: She grinned and high-fived him as Laura came over with their breakfast.
"Here we go. Waffle with strawberries, blueberry muffin, and four cheese souffle. Ya'll need anything else?"
Jeremiah: "Yaaaaaay!" He made room for everyone's food. "WAIT! You gotta put a candle in the muffin, it's almost Tristan's birthday!"
Tristan: "Aww, did he actually remember this year?"
Jeremiah: "Yep! He even got the day off."
Tristan: "Well how about that! I'd say that earns him a candle. Any preference?" she asked Tristan.
"Surprise me." Might as well lean into it.
"Will do."
Jeremiah: "Yaaaaaaay..." Jeremiah quietly cheered, clapping a little.
Tristan: Tristan smiled. "Proud of yourself?"
Jeremiah: "VERY."
Tristan: Tristan and Meg both laughed. "At least there's that."
Laura returned with a candle shaped like a mermaid tail. "Felt appropriate," she said, sticking it in the muffin and lighting it with a lighter she'd also brought with her. "Make a wish and blow it out."
Jeremiah: Ooooh, yeeeees! Jeremiah clapped more. A wiiiiiish! Yaaaay!
Tristan: Tristan thought for a moment and blew out the candle, while Meg and Laura joined Jeremiah in his quiet applause.
"Did you make it a good one?" Meg asked.
"Tried to. We'll see if it comes true."
Jeremiah: "WHAT WAS IT?! Wait don't tell me!" He covered his ears.
Tristan: He laughed. "You wouldn't wanna hear it anyway, it's boring."
Jeremiah: "Is it about fish?"
Tristan: "Nope, not about fish."
Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm weather? More muffins?!"
Tristan: "You told me not to tell!" he chuckled.
Jeremiah: Dammit!
"I WAS JUST TESTING YOU." nice save. Now eat your waffle, Jer.
Tristan: "Uh huh, sure." He grinned as he took a giant bite of muffin and proceeded to sigh happily.
Jeremiah: He tucks in, making a similar noise of pleasure.
"Laura you're the best!!"
Tristan: "Thanks, honey!" Laura called from the counter.
Jeremiah: He gave a thumbs up in her general direction before continuing to chow down.
"Oh! I almost forgot. Literally the reason we're here. You think you've found me a place?"
Tristan: "Oh! Yes." Meg nodded and set her fork down for a moment. "I have a few potentials, one of which I strongly advise against unless you're willing to take the risk. Charlie Brandt, the owner of O'Charlie's bar, has a little 'apartment' above his garage that he's renting."
Tristan immediately shook his head. "No, not there."
Meg nodded, that's the one I was going to advise against."
Jeremiah: "... Why not there? Who's Charlie Brandt, the owner of O'Charlie's bar?"
Tristan: "Let's just say it's the grossest and shadiest bar in Edenton. Charlie himself isn't that much better."
Jeremiah: "... It's uh- it's gonna be a hard pass on that one, Meg. What else ya got?"
Tristan: She nodded. "I figured. Another possibility is renting one of the smaller cabins that are scattered around here. The man who owns them all isn't that fussy, he just cares that your rent is paid on time."
Jeremiah: "Where are they?"
Tristan: "Scattered near the coast and around the woods," said Tristan.
Jeremiah: "Like a dead body?" He whispered.
Tristan: "I promise there are no dead bodies, sunshine man. Just pretty, peaceful cabins in your choice of scenery."
Jeremiah: "A cabin. In the woods. There's LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF HORROR MOVIES ABOUT THAT!"
Tristan: "They're not murdery, they're nice. Lots of people rent all year, plenty of people nearby."
Jeremiah: "... What's the other option?"
Tristan: "Third option is an apartment. There's a complex of outdoor apartments that might work. But honestly, I'd go for one of the cabins. One of the ones near the beach if you don't like the woods. They a little bigger and more private. But of course, the choice is yours."
Jeremiah: "Oooh a beach! That could be cool?" He was looking to Tristan for approval.
Tristan: "I'd go for that, too. Mind you the ones I've seen aren't right on the beach. Ultimately, price is the deciding factor."
"Price wise Charlie wins by a longshot," said Meg. "But once again, no offense to Charlie, I don't think that's a good idea."
Jeremiah: "... Oh." Uh... "I don't really have... that much."
Tristan: "In that case, I have another potential. One I was only going to bring up if I liked you, which I do."
Jeremiah: "Awww, yay! What is it?"
Tristan: Meg smiled. "I have a spare room I've been thinking about renting. I don't have any pets, I don't smoke, my neighborhood is friendly, quiet, and nice. I tend to stay up late to grade papers but my home office is in my garage which I converted years ago so the light and noise doesn't reach the bedrooms. If you feel comfortable--and feel free to think about it--you are welcome to rent the spare room."
Jeremiah: "Wh..." He blinked. "I mean I - for now at least I can't pay you by card, and..." He scratched his head, "would you be okay with that?" Asked to both Tristan and Meg.
Tristan: "Card or cash doesn't matter to me. I'd actually prefer cash, cards annoy me. And I'd be willing to discount your rent if you agree to mow the lawn. Those are my terms."
Jeremiah: .... Tristan???? This offer is sounding really good???? Are you okay with this???
Tristan: Tristan simply smiled. He wasn't even surprised; this was exactly the type of thing his mother had done all his life. Probably all her life.
All he said was, "Her yard isn't too big, it's a good deal. And there's always cookies in the cookie jar."
Jeremiah: "YOU HAD ME AT COOKIES. I'd love to! I swear I'll be SUPER clean! Thank you so much!"
Tristan: Meg laughed. "All right, good. I was serious about the lawn thing. I will discount your rent to avoid ever touching the lawn mower again."
Jeremiah: "I'm crazy clums- I mean. I'm epic at mowing. I promise you won't regret this! Yay! Thank you!"
Tristan: "I believe in you, sunshine man," Tristan said with a smile.
"I do, too."
Jeremiah: 'Awww. Gonna make me blush."
Tristan: "It's a risk we're going to have to take." Meg finished off her coffee just as Laura swept by with another. "Just let me know when you wanna come see it and then move in."
Jeremiah: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now? Wait, this isn't like a Get Out kinda situation, is it?"
Tristan: "Sure, we can do it today," she chuckled. "What's Get Out?"
Jeremiah: "You haven't seen Get Out?!"
Tristan: "Name doesn't ring a bell."
Jeremiah: "Guess when we're living together we're gonna have to have loads of movie nights, huh? And Tristan can come! Have you seen Get Out?"
Tristan: "No, but I can tell you now you're neeeever gonna get her to watch it. Megan don't do horror movies."
"It's a horror movie!?"
Tristan smiled and gestured as if to say 'see?'.
Jeremiah: "ACTUALLY according to the Oscars or whatever some people think it's a comedy so you're okay!"
Tristan: Meg squinted. "But is it really a comedy?"
Jeremiah: "To... some people. Some parts. Kinda."
Tristan: "I'm gonna have to disappoint you, honey. Can't do it."
Jeremiah: "Even if Tristan holds your hand?!"
Tristan: "Tristan thinks it's hilarious to see me suffer during horror movies."
Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped.
"Bad son!" He threw a napkin at him. "Actually I need that--" he's gonna have to reach over and get it. Waffles get messy.
Tristan: "I do not think it's hilarious to see her suffer," he chuckled, offering Jeremiah a clean napkin. "I just think it's funny when teeny little things make her jump."
Jeremiah: He took the napkin and shook his head. "I'll protect you, Meg!"
Tristan: “I couldn’t even watch those parody versions of scary movies. But I will give it exactly one try. And I reserve the right to go hide in my room.”
Jeremiah: "... We also have to have ice cream with us."
Tristan: “Oh there’s always ice cream in my house.”
Jeremiah: "We're gonna be best friends, Meg."
Tristan: "I rather think we are. Oh, almost forgot. My house pretty much doubles as a library at this point so you're free to borrow any and all of my books."
Jeremiah: "What kind of stuff do you read?"
Tristan: "Biographies, poetry, sci-fi, classics, plays, you name it."
"And, get ready for the ironic twist of the century," Tristan deadpanned around a bite of muffin. "She has a dedicated section of horror novels."
Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed, "Aweeeesome! I'm super into philosophy and science and comic books! Do you read any comics? Oh! What's your favorite horror book and did you see the movie for it if it had one??"
Tristan: "Frankenstein, and yes, I've seen nearly all the adaptations of it. I've also read a number of graphic novels, but not really comics like the ones Tristan read when he was younger. I don't share the public's infatuation with superheroes."
Jeremiah: "Ooooooh shit. Oops, sorry!" Bad, Jer! Bad! "You don't?? You know I'm a superhero?"
Tristan: "You're fine," Meg chuckled, leaning back in her seat with her coffee now that she'd finished her souffle. She really was having a lovely time, and was so far pleased with her decision to bring up her spare room for rent.
There was always a chance it wouldn't work out, of course, but she doubted it wouldn't. Jeremiah seemed like a truly lovely man to know.
"Really, a superhero? What powers and qualifications do you possess?"
Jeremiah: "It's a secret... but I'm awesome." He wasn't exactly joking, but he wasn't exactly being direct, either... He had woken up to a strange man bestowing powers upon him. He didn't know what he was meant to do with them yet, but he's sure they held some greater purpose.
Tristan: “I thought superheroes were supposed to keep their identities a secret,” Tristan said with a grin. “He said I had to get to level 5 friend before he told me his powers.”
“Oh?” Meg smiled as well. “What level is he currently at?”
Jeremiah: "Hmmm... three. Not long left, but there's some room for improvement."
Tristan: “I’m already at three? That’s good progress. How did I get that high?”
Jeremiah: "You watched Star Wars with me and offered to help me find a place to live." Those are obviously on par.
Tristan: “That’s what any friend would do, regardless of clearance level.”
Jeremiah: "But you did it the first time you met me."
Tristan: “Call it small town hospitality.”
Jeremiah: "I've been in this town for fifty years and nobody else has done that!"
Tristan: Tristan laughed. “Fifty, huh?”
Jeremiah: He put on his best old man voice and trembled, "I'm old!"
Tristan: “Oh yeah, you’re ancient.”
Meg shook her head at them. “How long have you been here Jeremiah?”
Jeremiah: "I don't..." he laughed anxiously. "I don't remember."
Tristan: “Feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it?” She sighed wistfully. “Time feels like it moves slower here.”
Jeremiah: He rubbed his arm. Yeah. Let's go with that. He smiled sadly and finished off his food.
Tristan: Meg studied Jeremiah for a moment. She'd only known him for about an hour but already she could tell that wasn't his usual smile.
"Do you have family in the area?"
Jeremiah: "Uh... no." He twirled his fork anxiously.
Tristan: She gave him a sympathetic look. “That must be hard. But for what it’s worth, you’ve got us now.”
Jeremiah: He smiled, scratching his head. "Awww, don't make me cry in public!"
Tristan: She just laughed. “I mean it. Just call me mama.”
Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped in excitement, "I've never had one of those before! I mean, y'know, apart from I obviously have some kind of mother. I'm not a test tube baby... that I know of. But, like, in the concept sense of a mother - growing up with one. In the grand scheme of things."
Tristan: Tristan was having real trouble not smiling. "He has two dads," he said, simplifying.
"Gotcha," Meg chuckled. "Well now you have a mama, too. My first act as your surrogate mama is to ask how your breakfast is. Good waffles?"
Jeremiah: "Delicious!" He grinned. "How's your orange thing I forgot the name of?!"
Tristan: "The souffle? Incredible. Josie--Laura's mama--really knows how to bake. Everything they sell is delicious."
Jeremiah: "Aww sweet! How's your muffin, Muffin Man?"
Tristan: Tristan just sighed contentedly in response. While the two of them had been talking Laura had brought him his second muffin and he was already halfway through it.
Jeremiah: With another laugh Jeremiah nodded. "I'm happy for you and your muffins."
Tristan: “So am I,” he said with a grin. “Want one?”
Jeremiah: "Ohhhh nooo I couldn't poooooss- yes, yes I do."
Tristan: “Laura! Can we get another muffin?”
“You haven’t even finished that one!”
“It’s for Jeremiah!”
“Oh, okay, I’ll bring it right over.”
Jeremiah: "Thaaaaaaaank yoooooooou!" He called out to her.
Tristan: "You're welcome, honey," she said, coming over with the muffin. "Anyone want more juice or coffee?"
"Coffee," said Tristan.
Jeremiah: "Uhh no thanks! I'm god - good. Not God. Yet. Wait is that blasphemy? I'M GOOD."
Tristan: "For what it's worth, I think we'd be better off if you were God," Laura said as she walked back to the counter. "Did you want any coffee, Meg?"
"I'm good, darlin'."
Jeremiah: Oh, that's an interesting compliment. He smiled at Tristan, as if silently asking how he felt about the whole God matter.
Tristan: Tristan found himself agreeing with Laura, although the only outward sign of that was a smile.
“Try the muffin, sunshine man. I promise your life will never be the same.”
Jeremiah: "YOU TRY THE MUFFIN." He was objecting for no reason other than to object. He'll reach out and break a little piece off to try anyway.
Tristan: He laughed. “What a contrary superhero we have. Whatcha think?”
Jeremiah: "Mmmmmmmmmmm OH! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS NEEDS?! WARM CUSTARD!!"
Tristan: "Laura makes really good custard," said Meg. "I think she only makes it in tart form though."
Jeremiah: "DIP THE MUFFIN INTO THE TART."
Tristan: Meg gave a sage nod. "Genius. Laura, honey, can you bring us a custard tart?"
"Coming right up!"
Tristan couldn't help but laugh again. "This has got to be the most unhealthy breakfast in the history of the universe."
Jeremiah: "YOU'RE WELCOME! Happy birthday!" He grinned and put his hands in the shape of a heart.
Tristan: "Thank you," he chuckled, finishing off his own muffin and his coffee as Laura brought Jeremiah his custard tart.
Jeremiah: "Thank you, Queen!" He pushed it closer to Tristan. "You try it first."
Tristan: "The tart or the dunking the muffin into the tart?"
Jeremiah: "Dunking. Dunk away, sir!"
Tristan: "All right." Tristan grabbed a piece of muffin and dunked--more like scooped really--into the tart. The grin that broke out across his face when he tried it was instantaneous and blinding. "Holy shit. That's so fucking good."
Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed. "RIGHT?! Come with me and you'll see a world of pure imagination I guess?" It was his turn! Yum, yum.
Tristan: "Done. Got any other brilliant food ideas?"
Jeremiah: "Uhhhhh......................... OH! CANDY! ADD SUGARY CANDY TO IT!"
Tristan: Meg shook her head. "You two are going to have so many cavities."
Jeremiah: "WORTH IT! Try it, Meg?"
Tristan: "The dunking or whatever sugary candy concoction you're dreaming up?"
Jeremiah: "Dunking!"
Tristan: "I'll try a dunk." Which she reacted to in nearly the same way as her son.
"Next time I make muffins I'm making custard to go with them."
Jeremiah: "This is why you should always listen to random people you meet on their birthday after you've been attacked by the ocean."
Tristan: "That's a damn good quote for one of those inspirational posters."
Jeremiah: "You gonna make one?" He smiled, getting more custard and muffin into his face hole.
Tristan: "My artistic talents aren't good enough to make one."
Jeremiah: "I believe in yoooooooou - HOM." he stuffed his face.
Tristan: Tristan laughed and shook his head. “Thanks, sunshine man. Maybe I will one day.”
Jeremiah: He giggled with his mouth full. "Good! I'll be counting the days."
Tristan: "Just don't count too many." Maybe he could get someone else to make it, give it to Jeremiah as a surprise.
Jeremiah: "I can't count past twelve so you're okay."
Tristan: "Okay," Tristan chuckled. "I'll be right back."
He slipped away to the counter to pay before either of them could stop him.
Jeremiah: "Okay!" Jeremiah doesn't notice, he immediately starts having a chat with Meg about... nothing in particular.
Tristan: Meg noticed, but she said nothing. Just smiled and talked to Jeremiah until Tristan came back.
"Ya'll ready to go?" he asked. "Jeremiah's got a house to get acquainted with."
Jeremiah: "Yeah!" He grinned, standing. "I bet the hotel is gonna be SUPER glad to get rid of me."
Tristan: "You kidding? They'll be devastated."
Jeremiah: "No way. They're totally betting on how long I'll end up staying there for... maybe I should enter the bet and then take all of their money!"
Tristan: Tristan laughed. It...actually wouldn’t surprise him at all if the inn staff had a pool going. He knew for a fact they’d had them before.
“You’re too sweet to bet on. They know a good guest from a bad one, trust me.”
Jeremiah: "Sweet? You're full of compliments, Tristan. You're like a compliment machine- oh! They should SO have those! I bet everyone would want one!"
Tristan: "You know, they really should," said Meg. "Maybe you can invent the first one ever and make your fortune on making people smile."
Jeremiah: "THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! Gotta think of some good compliments though. Hmm.... oh! I can use inspiration from people around me..." he pointed at Tristan, "You're the type of person other people appreciate." then at Meg, "You're the type of person other people can rely on." he pointed at Laura, "You're the type of person who brings other people delicious food! Without you we'd be hungry!" he laughed, "I'm good at this!!"
Tristan: Tristan just smiled. "Yeah, he's going to make ten billion dollars without breaking a sweat."
"Ten? Don't be silly. Twenty, easily."
Jeremiah: "Twenty?? Who needs THAT much money. I'll give it all to Laura."
Tristan: "I knew you looked like an angel," came Laura's voice from somewhere in the kitchen.
Jeremiah: "Awwww. That's gotta be blasphemous."
Tristan: “God’ll forgive me. I make the communion wafers.”
Jeremiah: "So you're gonna turn his son into a wafer and you think that'll earn you points? Nu-uhhh."
Tristan: “Other way around,” Meg chuckled. “The wafer becomes his son. I think. I don’t know. Point is, you’re very sweet for giving Laura your imaginary twenty billion dollars.”
Jeremiah: "The secret catch is..." He whispered, "I want a lifetime supply of waffles."
Tristan: Meg laughed. “I say that’s a fair trade. Mine aren’t as good as Laura’s, but if you’re lucky I might make us some waffles for breakfast sometime.”
Jeremiah: "Ooooooh! Breakfast AND a bed all in one place - OH MY GAH - THAT'S WHERE 'BED AND BREAKFAST' COMES FROM!"
Tristan: She laughed again. “Exactly. Just with less cat themed decor. Oh! Speaking of, are you allergic to them? There’s a feral one that kinda lives in my yard.”
Jeremiah: "Uhhhhhhhhhh...." Is he allergic to cats...? "I don't... think so."
Tristan: “Okay, good. He doesn’t really get close enough to pet or anything but it’s best to be safe.”
Jeremiah: "What's his name?"
Tristan: “He doesn’t have one. I just call him Cat.”
Jeremiah: He frowned. "How could you be so meaaaaan?"
Tristan: “Names have significance. I don’t know him well enough to choose one that suits him.”
Jeremiah: "Maybe that's exactly why you should name him! Something like... 'Mysterious'... 'Secat' (instead of secret. Get it? Get it?)"
Tristan: Meg smiled. "Maybe 'Mysterious' is too on the nose. We should scour movies, TV shows, and literature for a name."
Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmm.... What colour is the cat?"
Tristan: “Orange and white.”
Jeremiah: ".... Garfield?"
Tristan: "Sold," said Tristan. "He'll be Garfield the feral cat."
Jeremiah: "Yaaaas! We should get him a cute little hat too! With bells!"
Tristan: Tristan chuckled. "He doesn't let people near him, remember? No hats."
Jeremiah: "That's because you didn't name him! It will all change now."
Tristan: "You hold on to that hope."
Jeremiah: "What do we have if not hope?!"
Tristan: Meg nodded. "A very good point. Shall we go meet Garfield and your new home?"
Jeremiah: Gasp! "YES! Please! Yay! Thank you!"
Tristan: "All rightie, let's go."
"We'll follow you," said Tristan, getting to his feet. "Come on, sunshine man."
Jeremiah: Jeremiah stood, waving to Laura.
"BYE QUEEN!"
Tristan: "Bye, angel!"
Tristan chuckled and shook his head. "Got better game than every straight man in this town."
Jeremiah: "Game? Huh?"
Tristan: "You've managed to charm three women in the short time I've known you." He held the door open for Jeremiah and his mother.
Jeremiah: Jeremiah gestured for Meg to go first.
"I have literally NO idea what you're talking about. Did Laura put drugs in your muffin, Mr. Sailor Moon?"
Tristan: "The muffins are the drug, sunshine man."
Jeremiah: "Ooooh. I'm banning you from muffins! No more! Ever again! Muahahaha!"
Tristan: "I regret to inform you that your ban is not enforceable. See you in a bit, ma!"
He waved to his mother and opened the passenger door for Jeremiah.
Jeremiah: "Thank you kind gentleman," he grinned, stepping up into Tristan's truck. The moment the other sat down he had a question coming his way. "You won't mind if I live with her, right?"
Tristan: Tristan shook his head. "Not at all. I think it's great, actually. You'll like living with her."
Jeremiah: "Do you visit her a lot?"
Tristan: "As much as I can. I try to have dinner with her at least once a week."
Jeremiah: "Huh. Guess I'll be seeing you once a week."
Tristan: "Guess you will. How you feel about that?"
Jeremiah: For some reason, that question had him fidgeting with the seatbelt he hadn't yet put in place.
"Uhh why don't you tell me what you think I feel and I'll tell you if you're right?"
Tristan: That caught Tristan off guard. He could suddenly hear Ronan's voice in his head.
"Well..." He pulled onto the road. "I like to think we're becoming friends, so hopefully the thought of seeing me on a regular basis doesn't disgust you."
Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed. "You're just trying to wiggle your way to level five to get to know my powers. I've unveiled your evil master plan! You can't slip anything past Doctor Jeremiah Jordan!"
Tristan: "Sure," he chuckled. "That's exactly what it is." He paused for a beat. "Seriously, though. You okay with seeing me all the time?"
Jeremiah: Why this weird tension? This weird ENERGY? Jeremiah could cut it with a knife. A huge knife! Not a butter knife - it would need to be a butcher's to get through this air.
"Why wouldn't I be? Like you said we're... friends. It's nice to be around someone familiar. You're the most familiar I've got."
Tristan: Tristan's expression softened. "I'm flattered, sunshine man," he said softly.
Jeremiah: "Whaaaaaat about you? You okay with seeing my epic face all the time?"
Tristan: "Of course. Still gotta get to level five."
Jeremiah: "You've got a lot more movie marathons to sit through before you get there!"
Tristan: "Bring it on. Next time we need popcorn and slushies."
Jeremiah: "Oooooh yaaaas. I looove the way you think!"
Tristan: “We can turn the living room into a movie theater, like my mom did for me when I was little.”
Jeremiah: "That's so cute!!! We HAVE to!! When??? Tomorrow! Your birthday!"
Tristan: "Well since I'm apparently taking the day off, my birthday seems like the perfect time. We also need pizza."
Jeremiah: "Yaaas, Tristaaaaan! You read my mind!"
Tristan: He laughed and turned onto his mother's street. "Might as well lean into my birthday festivities, right?"
Jeremiah: "Damn straight!" He wiggled in his seat. "Your car is so comfy. I could totally take a nap in here."
Tristan: "Well thank you. I've taken it camping a few times, makes a great tent."
Jeremiah: "Ohhhh I bet camping here is awesome! Like, the stars and stuff!"
Tristan: "It is, accounts for a good bit of the tourism. Used to camp out in the woods behind my mom's house all the time when I was a kid. Found a frog once."
Jeremiah: "There's a WOOD behind her house?! Can we camp there?! We SO should! Are there frogs? I feel like there would be frogs for some reason. Am I right? Do I have froggy-senses?"
Tristan: "There's a little creek that runs back behind there so yeah, there are some frogs. And we definitely should go camping."
Jeremiah: "Yay! That's awesome! When? Tomorrow? Your birthday?"
Tristan: Tristan laughed. "Why don't we leave all the fun stuff for my birthday?"
Jeremiah: "But then it will all be over in one day!"
Tristan: "There's no limit on camping trips and movie nights, sunshine man."
He pulled up in front of his mother's eclectic, colorful house.
Jeremiah: "Ooooooh. You're saying you wanna spend muuuuuultiple days with me, I s- is this it???? I'M GONNA BE LIVING IN, LIKE, A DREAM HOUSE!"
Tristan: That got another laugh. Jeremiah would consider this a dream house, with its myriad plants and garden gnomes and sun catchers and windchimes. It was distinctly bohemian, a reflection of the woman herself.
"Wait until you see the inside. No two rooms are the same color."
Jeremiah: "WELL THEN!" he opened the door and eagerly went to jump out, but his seatbelt caught him flung him back. "Argh! I'm trapped!"
Tristan: "Jesus, come here." He fought a laughing fit as he freed Jeremiah from his seatbelt. Never in his life did he'd encounter this situation in real life. "There you go. And there's mama," he added, nodding over to her approaching car.
Jeremiah: "Yay, my hero!" He hopped out of the car and shut the door behind him. "This place is awesome!"
Tristan: "Thank you, sweetie!" Meg called. "I agree. It's a mess of styles but it's my mess of styles. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."
As stated, the house was much of a cheerful mess on the inside as it was on the outside. Books dominated rooms painted in soft earth tones and all sorts of knick-knacks and photos sat on nearly every surface. It was utter chaos, yet somehow neat. The house was pristine and the various mess carefully and deliberately organized.
"Tristan says he thinks this is what the inside of my head looks like," Meg was saying as she showed Jeremiah around. "I'm inclined to agree."
Jeremiah: Jeremiah would be amazed and captivated by every single detail in every single room. It was the type of utter chaos he could get on board with. It was new, different, exciting! He felt right at home already. It was incredible. He was... so... lucky. He couldn't remember any other home, not really. He remembered bits and pieces, he remembered rooms, but couldn't put them together.
This house... it would be his first house. This would be the first of many, perhaps... but this is where it would begin. This is where he would start to create memories. Hopefully these memories would last.
"That's so cool! Can I make my room look like the inside of my head? What would that even look like? Really dark and probably kinda gooey?"
Tristan: "Absolutely, go crazy! Hang up posters, get plants, make a fort, whatever you want. Make yourself at home."
Jeremiah: "A FORT!" he grinned at Tristan and tugged his sleeve, "Tristan, a FORT!"
Tristan: Tristan ginned. "Do it, sunshine man. Make a fort around your bed."
Jeremiah: "I WILL! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED - it will be the mightiest fort of all time!"
Tristan: "In that case you should see what you're working with," said Meg, opening the door to a bedroom at the end of the hall on the second floor.
It boasted a big bay window, soft teal walls, and a queen-sized bed.
"This is it."
Jeremiah: "Oooooooooooooooooh! This is way too nice for me. We'll need to tone down the niceness by at least 40%."
Tristan: Meg laughed. "You kidding? This is the bare minimum. I've got some end tables in the attic that'll make great bedside tables. They don't match, but barely anything in this place does. One of them has a stained-glass top."
Jeremiah: "So fancy! I'll be sure to get a top hat so I can fit in."
Tristan: "Get outta here with your fancy, I got it at the flea market."
Jeremiah: Gasp! "You can afford FLEA MARKETS?!"
Tristan: "Oh yeah, we're living in the lap of luxury over here. More than half the furniture in this house came from flea markets."
Jeremiah: "Woooow. You never told me you were so fancy, Sailor Moon!"
Tristan: "Eh, I try to be modest. And get this, the furniture that isn't from the flea market is from garage sales."
Jeremiah: "Woahhh. I don't think I can stay here, sorry. Thanks for the offer but I'm just not comfortable living above my means."
Tristan: Meg laughed in utter delight. "Oh yeah, we're gonna get along just fine. You keep exploring. Tristan, come help me get the end tables."
Jeremiah: "Cool! Thanks!" Jeremiah would begin by sitting on his new bed.
Tristan: While they retrieved the furniture, Meg wasted no time in gushing to Tristan, utterly delighted with her decision.
"He's so sweet. He's gonna be a great roommate."
"Yes, he is."
"I'm glad you met him, you need more friends."
"Hey, I have friends."
"You need more friends who aren't Oliver and the cook at the Inn."
Jeremiah: If Ronan could hear the conversation he'd be offended. His name should definitely come before the Goddamn cook at the Inn! RUDE!
Jeremiah bounced a little on the bed before standing. He inspected the curtains with his fingers, felt the walls and drawers.
He was filled with sorrow that he couldn't share this with his fathers. He swallowed at the thought of moving forward with his life, this unfamiliar life.
Tristan: Tristan was also offended by this. "I have Ronan!"
"Ronan is married. You need single friends to do single man things with you."
He squinted at his mother. "You mean boyfriend."
"You said it, not me."
Tristan didn't get a chance to say anything else before Meg entered the room.
"We've got end tables!"
Jeremiah: At the sound of someone approaching Jeremiah quickly wiped his face. A smile followed a little sniffle.
"Cool! By the way, where should I leave my shoes? I still have them on but I know some people don't like other people wearing shoes in their house. Is it like a Leave-Them-By-The-Door kinda situation or a Take-Them-Off-Wherever, or?"
Tristan: "I don't mind either way. The floors are all hardwood so there's no worry about anything getting ruined."
Jeremiah: "Okay!" he stepped out of them and used his foot to push them aside neatly.
Tristan: Meg and Tristan each took an end table and arranged them beside the bed.
Meg looked at them thoughtfully. "You need lamps. I might have some of those up there, too. Be right back."
"And a mirror," Tristan called after her.
"Oh, I'll grab the one you made!"
Jeremiah: "Thank you!" he grinned, bouncing a little, "You MADE a mirror?"
Tristan: "Not the actual mirror, just the frame. Used driftwood and sea glass."
Jeremiah: "That's so cool! Are you SURE you want me to have it in my room?! I'm suuuuper clumsy!"
Tristan: "It'll be on the wall," he chuckled. "It'll be fine."
Jeremiah: "That's a lot of responsibility!"
Tristan: "I'll still read it to you. I've actually never read it so we'll both get to enjoy it."
Jeremiah: "Awww CUTE! Okay! You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Sailor-Moon. I'll buy the books... I've never read them either, I just know they're long."
Tristan: “That means we’ll have plenty of reading material. I recommend getting them from my friend’s store. Gotta support local businesses.”
Jeremiah: "Mmm tooooooottally. Plus... friend discount, right?!"
Tristan: "Yep. He calls it the childhood friend discount."
Jeremiah: "Sounds like we'll be spending a helllllllll of a lot of time together, huh?!"
Tristan: Tristan laughed. "Looks like. Gonna be able to handle seeing me that much?"
Jeremiah: "I could ask you the same thing, old man." he put his hand in a fist as if holding a microphone and moved it closer to Tristan, "Tell the audience, Mr. Sailor-Moon. How does it feel?!"
Tristan: "To be called Mr. Sailor Moon? Interesting to say the least. To be here with you? Great. To be helping you move? Also great."
Jeremiah: "Awww SO ROMANTIC!"
Tristan: He chuckled. "Yep, helping someone move is the absolute height of romance."
Jeremiah: "Daaaaaaaaaamn Tristan. ESPECIALLY moving in with his mom! You're just too good for me, I can't handle it!"
Tristan: Oh look, his face was starting to hurt from smiling again. “I’m a regular Mr. Darcy. I don’t know how I walk down the street with all the floating hearts and chirping birds I leave in my wake.”
Jeremiah: Jeremiah laughed but stopped just so he could jokingly gag.
"I'm more of a... Dorian Gray guy myself. Gotta have that bit of danger y'know? Corruption makes romance!"
Tristan: Danger was the last word on earth he would associate with Jeremiah, but he still smiled.
“Hopefully without the creepy secret painting.”
Jeremiah: "ESPECIALLY with the creepy painting. How dare you?!" Of course, he was being sarcastic.
Tristan: Tristan just grinned and shook his head. “We have interesting conversations, don’t we?”
Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nah. Ya basic."
Tristan: “I’m wounded to my very core.”
Jeremiah: "To YA BASIC core?!"
Tristan: “To the very core of my core.”
Jeremiah: "That one-" he went to poke Tristan's core only to- "woahhhh, dude!" Poke, poke, poke! "You're, like, Iron-Man! What the hell?!"
Tristan: Tristan had to laugh. “It’s all the manual labor.”
Jeremiah: "Sharing is caring you know! Spread some muscle around!"
Tristan: “You want my to share my manual labor?”
Jeremiah: "Uhhh I really don't. Just the benefits. Thanks!"
Tristan: “Sadly it doesn’t work that way, sunshine man.”
Jeremiah: "Then be GONE from my presence. I have to jump out of your car now, your muscles offend me."
Tristan: “I’ll throw on a burlap sack when we get to my mom’s.”
Jeremiah: "That would be nice of you, thank you. Think about other people when you go around like that! UGH!"
Tristan: “You’re completely right, I should be ashamed of myself.”
Jeremiah: "Uh huh. Now eat some cake and think about what you've done."
Tristan: “I accept my punishment,” he said with a sage nod.
Jeremiah: "Good 'cause I'm gonna get you SO much cake for your birthday."
Tristan: "I am but one man, there's a limit to how much cake I can eat."
Jeremiah: "Hmmmmmmmmmm OKAY! How about this: I will get... three cakes. Just three. If you eat them all - you have the whole day, so you don't have to do it in one sitting - then... uhhh... you get one wish!"
Tristan: "Three cakes? You have a very high opinion of my metabolism."
Jeremiah: "So does your big buff... booty? I COULDN'T THINK OF ANOTHER WORD BEGINNING WITH B."
Tristan: Tristan told himself not to read too much into that particular choice of words. "How about body?" he chuckled. "A bit obvious, I know."
Jeremiah: "... OH, DUH! How did I miss that?! Anyway. Deal or no deal, sir?!"
Tristan: He just smiled as he pulled and backed into his mother's driveway. "Deal."
Jeremiah: "Ssssshhhhweeeet. Imma tell your mama about it and she'll referee!"
Tristan: “She’ll referee my cake eating?”
Jeremiah: "Yeah. Who knows if you might try to cheat!"
Tristan: “I never cheat. Especially when ice cream cake is involved.”
Jeremiah: "Can I trust a man who's been hiding an eightpack this whole time?"
Tristan: “How have I been hiding it? I don’t think wearing clothes counts.”
Jeremiah: "Uhhhhhh PRETTY SURE IT DOES."
Tristan: "I call foul. I'm innocent on all hiding charges!"
Jeremiah: "How DARE you!!"
Tristan: "Oh, I dare. I dare so hard." He grinned as he got out of the truck.
Jeremiah: Jeremiah gasped as he followed, pointing at the other. "You ADMIT it! I'm sorry, Tristan. I'm gonna have to arrest you now."
Tristan: He laughed. "You're gonna arrest me, huh? Can't eat cake if I'm arrested."
Jeremiah: "I didn't realize every cake business in the universe would shut down if you went to prison! You must eat a LOT of cake if you're the one guy keeping them all open."
Tristan: He nodded with great emotion as he grabbed the box from the truck bed. "It's a heavy burden to carry but I do my best."
Jeremiah: "Awww." He went to do the same, taking the suitcase and what contained his laptop, "Not all heroes wear capes, some wear... uh... scuba gear? What do sailor's wear?? Those little white h- OHHH Em GEE. Do you have a little white hat?! I bet you look like a little puppy in it! PLEASE tell me that's a thing. If it isn't I know what I'm getting you for your birthday."
Tristan: Tristan laughed his head off all the way to the front door. "The only place I've seen those hats besides a box of Cracker Jacks is on Navymen. I just wear work clothes. Boots, gloves, that kinda thing. The only time I wear scuba gear is when I'm diving for fun or diving beneath the ship to clean her up."
Jeremiah: "You mean you don't have a uniform?! Boooooooor-RING."
Tristan: "It's about utility, sunshine man. You know how many pairs of pants I go through?"
Jeremiah: He laughed, "No!? How many?!"
Tristan: "Six so far this year."
Jeremiah: "... What the heCK do you do?" he knocked on the door with his elbow.
Tristan: "They get torn, they get stained, they get wet, they get mysterious marine stuff on them, so many things. I put my work clothes through the wringer. Gloves, too."
Jeremiah: "Huh. I bet you keep the uh... clothes-washing... people... in business. Y'know the ones I mean. With the machines!"
Tristan: "Why yes, I do keep myself in business. I do great work."
Jeremiah: "You wash it all yourself?"
Tristan: "Who else is gonna do it? Ma, we're back!"
"Okay!"
Jeremiah: "Woooow, impressive! You must be a pro at getting out mysterious marine stuff by now! You should start your own show. I'd totally tune in every week."
Tristan: "Oh, I definitely am. Wanna know my secret?"
Jeremiah: Gasp! He leaned in closer. "Yes."
Tristan: Tristan leaned in conspiratorially. "Irish Spring."
Jeremiah: "Eh??"
Tristan: "Irish Spring soap. That stuff can get out anything."
Jeremiah: "I've never even HEARD of it."
Tristan: "Seriously? It's all over the place. I get out the stains with that and some hot water and then toss whatever it is in the washing machine."
Jeremiah: "You'd make SUCH a good househusband."
Tristan: "Good? I'd be the BEST househusband," he declared as he started up the stairs.
Jeremiah: "Wait wait WOAH WAIT- what are your cooking skills like?"
Tristan: "Seafood wise? Excellent."
Jeremiah: "Hmm your husband will really have to get used to the smell of fish."
Tristan: "Well that's a given."
Jeremiah: "Maybe you should marry....... a merman!"
Tristan: He chuckled. "If there were any around these parts, I would've found them ages ago."
Jeremiah: "Take ALL the magic out of life, why don't you..."
Tristan: Another chuckle. "There might be one or two that managed to evade me. Hell, there might be a whole colony of them that's managed to live their lives without me ever so much as detecting their presence."
Jeremiah: "Let's hope that's true, Tristan!"
Tristan: “Let’s hope what’s true?” came Meg’s voice.
“Jeremiah thinks there are mermaids around here and that I should marry one.”
Jeremiah: "Yeah. Duh!"
Tristan: “I feel like my mermadic son-in-law would take issue with Tristan’s chosen profession.”
Jeremiah: "......................... Uhhhh... I didn't think about that!! Okay. Maybe some kind of pelican-man. Pelicans eat fish, right? I bet he'd appreciate it!"
Tristan: Tristan paused and turned to look at Jeremiah. "A pelican?"
Jeremiah: "... They're real right? Or was that just a thing for Finding Nemo?"
Tristan: "Oh my god, Jer. Yes, they're real. And real weird first choice for marine bird for me to marry."
Jeremiah: "... Is there a LESS weird option?!"
Tristan: "Ignoring the general weirdness of this conversation, there is a very obvious first choice, yeah."
Jeremiah: "... Like what? Owls don't eat fish, Tristan." DUH.
Tristan: "........Seagulls."
Jeremiah: Lips part and his back straightens. It's as if he has a response... but... "Fine. YOU WIN THIS ROUND. SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE... FISH-MAN. FISH- fisherman."
Tristan: Tristan just laughed and shook his head, continuing on to Jeremiah's room.
Jeremiah: Once in his new room he set everything down and collapsed back on the bed with a groan. "Arrrrrghhhhhhh so comfy!"
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Love your blog and artwork here! I love the Eighth Doctor a lot already and want to get more into the audios. I started with Storm Warning and a few of the earlier ones but I'm not sure where else to go after that. (I want to listen to them all of course!) Does Dark Eyes start after the main range? Or is it far more complex than that?? (Time Travel man) I'm not sure but you seemed like the person to ask. Are there any Big Finish audios you recommend in particular? Thank you :)
Ok, so here’s the chronological order:
Adventures with Mary Shelley (and a few others): The Company of Friends, The Silver Turk, The Witch From the Well, Army of Death. Main Range audios, all of them very good except for Army of Death (terrible but in a so-bad-it’s-good sort of way, imho). They serve as prequels for all the other Main Range audios with Eight, but I don’t recommend to start with those. Listen to them at whatever point you want, they are pretty standalone anyway (I listened to them between the Lucie audios and the Dark Eyes ones, but between the other Main Range audios and the Lucie ones sounds more reasonable).
What I’d call Charley’s Arc (even if Charley stays after that): Storm Warning, Sword of Orion, The Stones of Venice, Minuet in Hell, Invaders from Mars, The Chimes of Midnight, Seasons of Fear, Embrace the Darkness, The Time of the Daleks, Neverland. That’s where you started and honestly it’s the best starting point! It has a couple of subpar stories but overall, it’s damn good.
Zagreus: A very long anniversary Main Range audio full of cameos, which also serves as a bridge between the previous arc and the next one. Some hate it, some love it; I’m squarely in the middle, there’s bad and good things in it. In any case, it’s not skippable.
The Divergent Universe Arc: Scherzo, Creed of the Kromon, The Natural History of Fear, The Twilight Kingdom, Faith Stealer, The Last, Caerdroia, The Next Life. This Main Range arc is a rollercoaster of quality. It contains both my favorite audio AND my least favorite audio, and they are back to back. The bad ones are awful, the good ones are amazing. Scherzo, The Natural History of Fear and Caerdroiaare some of my all-time favorite audios. What a ride.
What I’d call C’rizz’s Redemption Arc: Terror Firma, Scaredy Cat, Other Lives, Time Works, Something Inside, Memory Lane, Absolution, The Girl Who Never Was. Main Range audios, and an arc I really liked even though it doesn’t seem to be very popular. Contains some real underrated gems, like Memory Lane.
The four seasons of audios with Lucie Miller (which they call The Eighth Doctor Adventures, which is confusing to no end for all the fans of the books, so I’d rather call them the New Eighth Doctor Adventures): I’m not gonna write down the full list (there’s 34 of them!), you can simply click the link. Just know that a bonus release, An Earthly Child, goes somewhere between Death in Blackpool and Situation Vacant, and is rather important. I’m not a huge fan of these audios, but they are pretty good for the most part! My favorite ones are Grand Theft Cosmos, Orbis and The Scapegoat. But if you can listen to all of them, please do, because the last season hits like a ton of bricks.
The Dark Eyes series: Here it is. Some people love it, but it was a bit hit-and-miss for me. Almost none of it is standalone, but my favorite ones are The Great War and A Life In The Day (I love that one). The arc itself? A bit of a mess if you ask me.
The Doom Coalition series: Here it is. I absolutely loved this arc, and that hadn’t happened since the Main Range arcs. The only really bad one is right at the end of the first boxset, and after that, all the rest goes from average to amazing. The best ones, in my opinion, are The Red Lady, Absent Friends, The Crucible of Souls and Ship in a Bottle, but please listen to the whole arc, you won’t regret it.
The Time War series: Only one boxset so far. It’s... okay. It’s roughly on the same level as the average Dark Eyes boxset, and it passes the time nicely, but so far it isn’t extraordinary (except the first half of the first story, which was really intriguing). Maybe that range will get better later? Wait and see, I’d say.
I hope this helps!
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The Night Of The Doctor - Doctor Who blog
(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, why not watch it now? I’ll put a link here. It’s only 7 minutes long. Go for it)
I wasn’t intending to review the numerous prequels and mini-sodes in the Moffat era like I did when I reviewed the RTD era because, you know, I’ve got other shit to do and I think I’ve made enough sacrifices for you guys. But I decided to make an exception for The Night Of The Doctor because it does finally provide an official ending for the Eighth Doctor and I feel it would be wrong of me not to acknowledge it in these blogs.
Yes Paul McGann is back as the Doctor, his last onscreen appearance being in the Doctor Who movie back in 1996. It was camp and stupid, but incredibly fun if you watch it with the right attitude, and Paul McGann was incredibly good in the role (putting aside the kissing and half human scenes). His Doctor was much more of a romanticist than the previous Doctors and was incredibly captivating to watch. It’s genuinely sad that his Doctor was so short lived. That is of course if you discount all the Big Finish audio dramas he’s done since 2001, which you shouldn’t because they’re bloody marvellous. Steven Moffat certainly doesn’t, hence why in The Night Of The Doctor, we see the Eighth Doctor pay tribute to all his companions from the Big Finish stories before regenerating. Charley Pollard, C’rizz, Lucie Miller, Tamsin Drew and Molly O’Sullivan. Rejoice! The Big Finish audio dramas are now officially canon (or at least the Eighth Doctor audio dramas are) and it truly was a joyous moment when I heard their names. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you check out the Big Finish series because it’s here where the Eighth Doctor really came into his own. He’s criminally underrated in my opinion, especially when you consider that Paul McGann is technically the longest running Doctor. Longer even than Tom Baker, who played the Doctor from 1974 to 1981. If we were to take the Big Finish audio dramas into account (starting from 2001 with Storm Warning and is apparently due to end in 2020 with the fourth series of the Time War boxsets) and include the five years in-between the Doctor Who movie and the first audio drama Storm Warning, that means Paul McGann has been the Doctor for 24 years. That is insane!
So yeah, you’re damn right I’m reviewing The Night Of The Doctor because a Doctor like that deserves a good ending. Did he get one? Um...
It is great to see the Eighth Doctor onscreen again after all this time and Paul McGann still has that old magic, but I feel he is a couple of times hampered by the Moffat dialogue. There are certain things he says that just doesn’t sound right coming from him. For example when he describes the Sisterhood of Karn as the ‘keepers of the Flame and utter boredom.’ I can imagine Matt Smith or even Peter Capaldi’s Doctor saying something like that, but Paul McGann’s? No. That just doesn’t sound right to me.
Also it’s pretty clear the purpose of The Night Of The Doctor is less to do with giving Paul McGann’s Doctor a good send off and more with setting up John Hurt’s War Doctor (more on that later). As a result, a lot of the plot does feel a bit half-arsed. For instance, the opening sequence with the crashing spaceship. The Doctor tries to rescue the pilot Cass, but she refuses his help when she realises he’s a Time Lord, berating him for the Time War and how both the Time Lords and the Daleks threaten the whole of reality. I could understand Cass’ behaviour if she was motivated by fear, but here it’s more she won’t let the Doctor help her on sheer principle, which just feels a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face. If someone throws you a lifeline, you take it. As the Doctor says, at least he’s not a Dalek. I can understand what Moffat is trying to do, but it’s a very bizarre way of doing it.
The spaceship crash-lands on the planet Karn where we see the Sisterhood of Karn, making their first appearance since The Brain of Morbius way back in the Tom Baker years. For those of you who don’t know, the Sisterhood of Karn are the guardians and worshippers of the Sacred Flame, which provides for them the Elixir of Life and grants them immortality. They have a close affiliation with the Time Lords, who often use their Elixir to aid their regenerations. While the Sisterhood of Karn are pretty much only here for the sake of plot convenience and fan service, it’s nice bit of continuity I feel.
Which brings us to the regeneration itself. I thought it was well handled for the most part. The Eighth Doctor is in some ways an old fashioned, romantic hero who is passionate about life, history and the universe, and has a very clear sense of right and wrong. So to see him coming to the realisation of just how bleak and morally difficult this whole scenario is and contemplating the terrible things he may have to do to save the universe is legitimately heartbreaking. What I do have a problem with however is the whole idea of a War Doctor.
The Name Of The Doctor already put me in a bad mood with all that bullshit about how the War Doctor ‘broke the promise’, but this whole idea that ‘the universe doesn’t need a doctor anymore’ and that the only way to stop the Time War is to have the Sisterhood whip up a potion to engineer the Doctor into a warrior is just insulting, both to the audience and the character. I honestly don’t understand why the Doctor would shun one of his previous incarnations for fighting and ending a war. Apart from the fact that the Doctor has made morally dubious choices countless times in the past, it’s hard to chastise the War Doctor for his actions in the Time War because he literally had no other choice. Yes destroying his own race is horrifying, but considering that the alternative is letting all of space and time get destroyed, it’s kind of a no brainer. Sacrificing the (relatively) few to save everything else is the only sensible choice here. Yes it has psychologically scarred the Doctor and made him question his own morality, but that’s a good thing isn’t it? It makes him more complex and more interesting. By pinning all the blame on a retconned War Doctor that apparently doesn’t count as the Doctor actually does the character a great disservice, stripping him of his depth and complexity and simplifying him to an idiotic degree. I would much rather see the Eighth Doctor fight in the Time War and struggle to come to terms with his own decisions over a War Doctor that has been engineered to be a warrior and therefore isn’t really the Doctor.
The Night Of The Doctor provides the ending the Eighth Doctor needs, but not the one he deserves. Here’s hoping the Time War audio dramas will give Paul McGann a better send off.
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Interlude 2.5
“….aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”
CRASH!
I landed in a face-down belly flop. It hurt, but somehow I don’t think I was injured. Still took a minute to get up.
“Where…?”
I must have slept through the deadline… I was back in the warehouse, which seemed a lot bigger… because I was still half my human height. I was still a Sandslash.
“Terra?” I called out to the industrial void. “Terra, where are you?!”
“….aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”
CRASH!
I didn’t even feel a shake as the Torterra landed right behind me, but I did feel the gust of wind.
“Terra, are you OK?!” I asked, rushing to her side.
“I-I’m fine...” she muttered. “J-Just give me a minute...”
“Alright, but if you need anything, that medbay should- oof!”
Something had fallen and bounced off my head. It was the notebook. It landed open to a page with new text. Grumbling and rumbling my head, I read it.
Alternate forms:
A jumper may switch between any form they took on a jump at will.
A companion that possesses alt-forms may also switch them at will. It does not receive an alt-form unless explicitly imported into the world.
Pets with alt-forms can only be changed by a jumper or companion with line of sight.
Your partner has been given a human alt-form.
You jump on in a week.
Alternate forms…? Was it saying I wasn’t stuck as a Sandslash? Hmm, it said “at will,” so…
A poof of white smoke that dissipated a moment later, and I was me again, as human as I was ten years ago in that damn cylinder.
“Whoa, Robert! How’d you do that?” Terra asked. Good, I could still understand Pokémon as a human.
“Apparently now I can switch between being human and Pokémon,” I said. I tested a few more times, poofing between back and forth between them. The smoke was tan when I turned into a Sandslash, but otherwise it was effortless. “The notebook says that you can turn into a human now too. You just have to will it so.”
“Me, a human?” Terra said. “I’ve never considered that before...”
“C’mon, it’s harmless,” I said, ending my flipping on human. “Besides, hugs are a lot easier when we’re both bipedal.”
Maybe that was enough, but there was a huge cloud of white smoke before my eyes, and what came out was… amazing.
She was not a small woman, easily having at least three-quarters of a foot on six-foot me, with earthy brown skin, and short dark brown hair with the tips died green. Her shoulders were wide, and her arms and legs had the toning you’d expected of someone that explored and fought the wild nearly every day for ten years. I assumed her torso was equally defined, as she was wearing a green T-shirt and knee-length tan dress, along with a gray sturdy jacket that I would later see had a tree logo on the back. Her green Aura ribbon, which she almost never took off, hung loosely around her neck.
“Holy shit, you’re beautiful,” I spurted out.
“You think so, Robert?” It was a little surprising exactly the same voice of Mother Earth came out, but I guess it probably shouldn’t have been. She tried out her limbs out a little. “I’m surprisingly comfortable like this. I think I can try out that hug now.” And then she hugged me; her grip was a bit tight, but my human body was pretty tough so it could take it.
I hugged her back. I love this woman so much.
“Master?”
We broke the hug and turned to see running towards us…
“Bolt! Cody! Anita!” I cried out. I crouched a big to hug Bolt as they came up. “I missed you guys!”
“Missed? We saw you just yesterday,” Bolt replied. “Or… I think it was yesterday, I had a bit of a heavy nap...”
“Oh, Bolt, we’ve got a lot to catch you up on.”
To say they were shocked when I turned into a Sandslash and showed that the human woman with me was Terra would be an understatement. Though they were delighted to learn that I could talk to them. It was weird the personalities you could learn when you understood their speech. Bolt was a bit of a goofball, Cody was a worrywort, and Anita was… well, she was still a little aloof even back then, but it was even clearer now when she spent more time perched on the high shelves than coming down and talking to everyone else.
The three Poké Balls we used turned out to be in a new bin labeled “2”. It also had the Treasure Bag, Wonder Map, and the 25 Reviver Seeds we had brought and everything else the Bag contained, along with the stuff we left behind in the warehouse before leaving. On the shelf next to it where seven uniquely-decorated instrument cases, each with a particular elemental motif to them; I checked later and they indeed contained the seven Treasures (which were not the Seven Treasures, funnily enough) we had managed to save. We brought out Shadow, Bitbit, and Maria, and released Manaphy from the stasis pod.
The entire day was spent telling tales and showing the Treasures to the others, as well as getting everyone used to both of my and Terra’s forms. Bolt was a bit disappointed he couldn’t become a human too. At some point, I put the Treasures and their new cases in the secure location I had set up before.
The next six days, though, were quite busy.
First order of business: food. The warehouse’s regenerating supply could barely keep up with just five of us. Now there were nine. Manaphy still got by on Blue Gummis, of which we packed plenty and he had discipline enough not to gorge, though we’d have to start weaning him off those at some point before the supply inevitably ran out. Bitbit also seemed to do just find snacking on electricity. Thankfully for the other six Pokémon, Oran Berries last Pokémon most of the day when they’re not used for emergency healing, especially since these were PMD-brand Oran Berries that could heal ten times as much as in the original Pokémon setting. And of course, Apples were fine belly-stuffers. We disassembled a bit of the spare shelving to make a frame to hold a small garden, watered with the warehouse’s plumbing and lit with the sunlamp and some fiddling with the “selective region” functions of the heat/AC unit. As for the dirt, Earth Power to the rescue! Fun fact: we could still use our Pokémon moves as humans, though the power is far weaker doing so. Anyways, when Terra managed to make the ground of the warehouse erupt, we got soil out of it, and her presence – when she’s a Pokémon at least – seems to make it fertile enough for plants. Granted, most of my gardening knowledge is from Minecraft, but I took some of the berries and sowed them. They seem to be sprouting quickly, and will hopefully produce a crop before the end of the week. The apples are staying in the refrigerator until we have space enough for an apple tree.
...It’s only just now that I remembered that later Pokémon games had the berry-growing mechanic, which I usually ignored because there were better hold items than berries most of the time.
Getting Terra’s human education up to date was going to be uphill and definitely take longer than the week I had. First was learning to read English. Thankfully, the house’s DVD collection included lots of Sesame Street season boxsets and other PBS shows. God, I forgot how much I missed Between the Lions. Zaboomafoo also gave everyone a basic rundown of Earth animals, which were bound to be more likely going forward. Bitbit learned the fastest when he managed to get into my laptop and could just transfer the videos directly into his memory, though it was limited by the time it took to swap the discs out.
We ran a test with the Terran Cymbals. They don’t affect me or Terra while we’re human. It kind of sucks that of the seven Treasures we got, the only ones we got affect Terra, Manaphy, Maria, and Anita – and I can’t even play the lattermost one yet.
There was also some new installment. Attached to the wall next to the pole and plates was a roster board with two columns of eight slots each, with a small light next to each one. On the top was the word “TEAM ROSTER” flanked by two images of the orange almost-asterisk on my warehouse keychain. The left column was full of names, while the right was completely empty. Reading it over, it listed the names of my team members. I think I can guess what would happen if it was full.
Though this week, I established goals for the future:
Get a proper garden set up in here, with a good variety of crops. As a side goal of this, learn how to garden.
Learn how to play the violin. The other instruments too, that couldn’t hurt, but mostly the violin.
Finish Terra’s human education.
Get some way to connect to time that I could bring here so I could Dimensional Scream as I pleased.
Get strong enough to punch the asshole voice’s theoretically-existing face to pieces.
I mean, with the ability to use Pokémon moves as a human – even though you’ll never catch me using my bare hands to Dig – not to mention shifting between a pretty dang fit human and a monster, I basically had superpowers. And if the voice was going to keep giving me powers, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll find a way to use them to kick his ass. Though the fact he keeps picking them for me means he definitely has the house advantage.
But he has to drop his guard eventually.
“….aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”
CRASH!
I landed in a face-down belly flop. It hurt, but somehow I don’t think I was injured. Still took a minute to get up.
“Where…?”
The cylinder again… Was the week already over…?
But wait… something felt different. I shifted to my Sandslash form. Being a burrowing species, we were more sensitive to vibrations as a form of sensory input. There was a sense of momentum here that was likely here all along but I never noticed it before.
“...This chamber is… going up…” I realized. “Like an elevator...”
“Ah, you finally noticed.”
I was on guard immediately. “You…!” I shouted, brandishing my claws.
“Look at you all posturing. It’s adorable, really. You did a decent job entertaining me last time. I mean, whoda thought you would spur the interconnected continents? And the whole bit with the improv garden right now was inspired.”
He didn’t even sound remotely threatened. Of course not. I wasn’t strong enough yet. So I lowered my arms and turned back to a human. “Fine, whatever. Look, I have some questions.”
“I guess you’ve earned them. Ask and I’ll see what I can answer.”
“First off, I assume you put that pole thing in my warehouse.”
“That is correct. A little something off the record. I thought your companions that didn’t have your built-in counter would appreciate a visual representation of the time left.”
“I see… Second, does that roster board imply what I think it does?”
“If you mean you can only have sixteen companions, yes. Pets, however, are unlimited. And before you ask, pets must be non-sentient unless stated otherwise.”
“Ah… Third, if this is an elevator, where is it going?”
“Up.”
“...Care to be more specific?”
“Up, through the layers of the multiverse. Remember that pole? It’s more accurate a model than you might think.”
“...So, you dumping me in other worlds is… throwing me out of a moving elevator car.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I have to stop it to make choices.”
“Yeah, great job on those so far,” I snarked.
“Thank you,” it replied earnestly. “It wasn’t easy. You have that Persim Band because of the serious lack of 50-point items to compensate.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever,” I said, wanting to speak about any topic but this. “So why was the 52-mark on the scale next to it so large? What’s so important about the fifty-second world?”
“The fifty-third is what’s important, actually. You’ll know if you get there. Speaking of, enough questions. It’s time for new choices.”
“Now wait a moment!” I protested. “You said last time that I get to pick the worlds from here on out!”
“That I did,” said the voice. “So here’s your choice. I’m going to present icons for three places this elevator can reach in the next like five minutes. Pick the one you’ll spend the next ten years in.”
“And you’ll build my persona in that world like you did the others, I imagine?”
“Now you’re catching on. Here’s the icons.”
The three panels that circled the elevator walls spun around and lined themselves up in a vertical row in front of me. They glowed a moment and when it faded each one was showing a black and white image.
“...”
“Well?”
“These are Rorschach inkblot tests.”
“Imitations using the style, actually. With the icons as the base.”
“I fucking hate you.”
“Duly noted. Now choose. The multiverse is a little twisted and ones we don’t stop at may eventually pass by again, so don’t worry about missing out.”
Grumbling, I looked over my options carefully…
The top one looked vaguely like an angry circle.
The middle one reminded me of two-headed monsters.
The bottom one just made me think of constant numbers.
I pondered my choice for a few minutes before pointing at the middle one. A few more years among monsters couldn’t hurt that much. “There. That one.”
The other panels blanked out and drifted away.
“World selected,” said the voice. “Now making choices.”
I covered my eyes until the reflections on the floor stopped. I noticed the elevator slowed down and stopped once the lights dimmed. I looked up at the light pattern, quickly memorizing it too. Who knows what advantages I’d need against Willy Wonka and his Great Electromagical Lift?
“Your selections have been made. Have a good decade!”
I just sighed as the bottom fell open and I dropped into the void.
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Day 22 - Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001)
A giant...wooooooooooorm?!
AKA the last of my dipping into my blu-ray collection for this year. Though, this boxset of the first five movies I have is already out of date. Much like I seem to be hitting a lot of III movies this year, seems like a lot of stuff I look at just had another sequel come out this year. So it's true with Tremors as well with Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell. At least Burt is still in that one. Attaboy.
For 3 though we have the subtitle of 'Back to Perfection'. I momentarily forgot that's the name of the village. Mores sense in that than it being a damning take on the second movie. Shit, I watched the first two in the blind spots of not recapping things. Here's the cliff notes:
Tremors - Giant worms things in the ground that will track the sound of your movement on the ground, pop up and eat you. Kevin Bacon is in it and my lasting memory of it has always been the first time of me hearing the term 'Pardon my French'.
Tremors 2 - No Kevin Bacon and the worms now eventually become what is known as 'Shriekers'. The Shriekers eventually burst out of the Graboid and are able to move around on the surface. They're kind of little dinosaury, snapping turtle things that have heat sensors. Good, dumb fun movie overall.
Which is a summary that can easily apply to this sequel as well. As much as I do love Burt, him being the lead character does lead to the whole thing having a sort of low rent feel. It very much feels like a direct-to-video entry, like one of those Disney sequels where the focus is shifted from the princess to the talking crab side character.
Things start out with Burt returning from a Graboid hunting trip out in Argentina where he manages to take out an entire swarm of Shriekers with the AA gun he has mounted to his truck. Burt doesn't do things by halves.
He returns to Perfection to find Jack Sawyer has started up a little Graboid safari in which he drives people around and has one of his goons kick up a bit of dust to make it look like they're under attack. He literally has people wait around on rocks and sells them cold beer at $3 a pop whilst they do it. Sounds like just a small step up from paying to watch paint dry.
But when an actual Graboid does show up for the first time in years (no mention of how or why it's just showing up now out of the blue), one of the few remaining Perfection residents calls in the feds. Not a bad idea, whilst Burt is a one man army, surely the actual army is a better idea.
Or, you know, all of about 3 people. Damn budget cuts. One of the feds says this really isn't a priority in Washington. Bloody Trump's America, eh? If these Graboids were coming from Mexico, you'd have built a 60ft subterranean wall!
I like when the feds do show up though because everyone starts panicking. Burt starts quoting the second amendment, Jack swears he really does have that valid business licence and Miguel is adamant his cousin already left to go back home. Calm down guys, they're just here to make sure Burt isn't hunting anymore Graboids because, if he did, he'd be going against the endangered species act.
Endangered species my ass! It's a god damned Graboid, we shouldn't really be looking to preserve this things. It's not one of the last white rhinos left on the planet or something. Last I checked, whilst a white rhino could do a bit of damage, it's not likely to cause a sinkhole under your house and kill you and your entire family.
So, everyone is under instructions to take one of these things alive so it can be taken away for study. Oh yeah, I know where this leads. This is some Weyland-Yutani shit, isn't it?
Capture Graboid
???
Profit!
There is a worrying moment where it looks like Burt has been eaten and all investment in the movie has been swallowed along with him, but he's still alive and radioing out from the inside. Albeit with a limited air supply. Luckily, Jack is able to lead the Graboid away, back to Burt's house where it literally runs into his concrete barrier he's had installed all around his compound. Jack digs and chainsaws his way to the Graboid and pulls Burt to safety.
And I thought they smelled bad on the outside...
We soon come to learn of a further mutation, the Shriekers eventually shade their skin like snakes and take on a new form:
And if you were curious about that webbing on their back, yes, they can fly. Well, let's call it falling with style. But how do they get into the air? Simple, they propel themselves into the sky with a fiery fart.
No, really. They're butt launchers...ass blasters! You know you're taking yourselves seriously when you call the big new threat in your movie an ass blaster.
There seems to be a theme emerging here, each new sequel takes us further along the evolutionary path of the Graboid. From just plain Graboid in the original, Shriekers in 2 and now Ass Blasters. They make a point to say that the Ass Blaster has an egg in it that it will seemingly 'fly' away to rear somewhere else and it's implied that's the last phase, hatching that egg into a Graboid to start the cycle afresh. Watch them write their way out of that one though.
From there, the rest of the movie sees the gang trying to take out the remaining ass blasters...teeheehee. Unfortunately, Burt keeps losing his stock of guns and ammos and even ends up blowing his own house up as a sacrifice to take out one of the new creatures. Whilst it is a little shocking to lose such an iconic piece of Perferction, it does make an interesting change to see Burt scurrying around trying to put together makeshift weapons in order to protect himself and the group. Certainly a far cry from the big guns he was playing with at the start.
So, yeah, good dumb fun that has a mixture of your monster of the week, explosions and humour. It's a step down from the first and arguably the second but it's still perfectly acceptable. I am intruiged by the 4th movie, going by the image on the front of the disc, it has this old west vibe going on. Sort of that Red Dead Redemption, very late 1800's period with the dusters and hats.
Should make for an interesting change in procedings to stage this in such a technological dark age. With Burt especially, you do get kinda bogged down in all the gadgetry he has, the trackers, the weapons...suddenly a Graboid is a lot more formidable when you've not got an AA gun and enough C4 to level a city. Hang on though, isn’t that going to break out Burt streak?! Unless he’s got a time machine in that box of tricks of his...
But before we get to that, there is the small matter of the Tremors TV series. Not that failed comeback that would have starred Kevin Bacon again, the early 2000's one that follows on directly from the movie. Hmmmmm, interesting...
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