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sophsicle · 3 years

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Morally Grey Characters in Harry Potter

Okay, this might be an unpopular opinion but:

I've been thinking a lot about the ways that Regulus Black, Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape are talked about and compared in this fandom. People have a tendency to latch onto one of these characters and despise the other two and I find that kind of interesting since, in a lot of ways, these three are very similar. But I also think that in fighting over who deserves redemption and who doesn't a lot of important nuance gets lost.

All three characters are kids when they first get thrown into Voldemort's path. Regulus and Snape both come from abusive households. Regulus and Draco both come from families that are very deeply involved in the Death Eater movement and therefore face a lot of pressure to join. Let me just say, first and foremost, that while I think that both Draco Malfoy and Regulus Black can be redeemed, I also don't think they have to be. That redemption arc largely takes place off screen / in fanfiction and is not really canon. So seeing them both as just bad dudes (or, you know, abhorrent racists - I'm not trying to downplay the DE thing) is a totally valid interpretation of these characters. BUT I do think they can be redeemed, if you want to do the work to redeem them. Severus Snape on the other hand, in my opinion, is irredeemable. Unless you throw canon completely out the window in which case, you do you boo. But I think the big difference (well, there are a couple but like the biggest difference) between Snape's potential for redemption and Draco and Regulus's, is that we only ever see Reg and Draco as kids. For me, in order to redeem Draco, you have to show him post-war, as an adult, with the power and ability to make choices for himself, and you have to show him coming to terms with what he did and said and was taught as a kid. I think that's totally doable (has, in fact, been done by many talented writers on Ao3) and is also really interesting. Bigotry is taught, and in the Wizarding world you don't even go to school with other kids until you're eleven years old which means that you're only exposed to your family's views for the first decade of your life. While Draco Malfoy absolutely does not get an arc in the books, what we do see is that his commitment to "the cause" is skin deep at best. He becomes a DE not because of his love of Voldemort or "blood purity" but to save his family. He doesn't want to kill Dumbledore. Doesn't want to turn over Harry. Like I said, none of that stuff automatically redeems him. He does not have to have an arc in canon. But it does allow for that possibility. I would also like to add that I see people sometimes be like "Draco doesn't deserve a redemption arc because he loved his parents" and while I get where this is coming from, I actually think that love is at least an equal, if not a stronger, motivation than fear. It is much harder to think that the people you love, the people who have raised you and cared for you, are the bad guys, versus someone who's abused you your whole life. It's kind of like Harry and Dumbledore in a way, like Dumbledore could have asked anything of Harry and he would have done it, because he trusted him and looked up to him and believed he was good. So even when he was shitty Harry didn't really see that or want to believe it. Regulus, to me, is the most interesting because we know the least about him, and what we do know is pretty contradictory. But I think most important to his story is the fact that he was a kid in an abusive home that was very deep in Voldemort's inner circle. People like to point at Sirius and be like "if he could get out why couldn't Regulus?" but Sirius was very lucky. He met James Potter (day-freaking-one), someone with the power / resources to rescue Sirius. Regulus doesn't have that. Also, y'know, people respond to abuse in different ways. The whole "why don't you just leave?" isn't really fair, especially when you're asking it of a literal child. And then Regulus turns around and sacrifices himself trying to weaken Voldemort which just leaves so many questions unanswered that, as a writer, I am obsessed with. And interestingly enough, unlike Snape (I am gonna get back to my point about him I promise) Regulus doesn't try to broker any kind of deal. He could have gone to Dumbledore and been like "Voldemort has Horcruxes and I know where one is, I'll tell you if you give me immunity" but he doesn't. He sacrifices himself without any possibility of redemption or reward, he just...thinks it's the right thing to do. But again.

None of that stuff has to redeem him. You can interpret all of that a lot more sinisterly. I mean, everything we know about Regulus comes from Kreacher who paints him as Voldemort's #1 fanboy. Harry finds all those articles about DE activities hung up in his bedroom. You as the reader still have to do the work to redeem him, to give him that arc, and if you don't wanna that's a totally valid interpretation. But I think there is possibility in all the unknowns about that character. Similar to Draco in that, we don't know how he handles himself post-war as an adult, and therefore, there is potential there. SO. Back to Snape. Snape is irredeemable because he has way fewer unknowns. JKR actually intended for him to have a redemption arc so she did the work for us, and predictably, she did a terrible terrible job. Firstly, I would say that Snape is in a slightly different position than Draco and Regulus for two reasons 1) his family, while sucky, is not (as far as I know??) involved in the DE movement at all, so he doesn't have that pressure, he chooses it, and 2) he grows up with muggles, his BEST FRIEND is muggle born, so while Draco and Regulus are kind of raised in very sheltered (racist/horrible) environments, Snape is interacting with Muggles and forming relationships with them his whole life. That's not a HUGE deal, but I do think it's interesting because you'd think it would make it harder for him to dehumanize them.

The other thing is that, I think JKR thought that Snape switching sides for Lily was romantic or something? But it isn't? It's obsessive, incredibly self-centred and doesn't show any sort of character growth. It's not like he all the sudden comes to the realization that being a Nazi is bad. He just really doesn't want to lose his non-existent chance to someday be with Lily Evans. I mean, he doesn't even care about Lily - doesn't care that losing her husband and child would devastate her, Dumbledore has to remind him and then he's like "Whatever, save them too I guess". And then we get to see Snape as an adult. This is where a character like Draco would get his redemption arc. And this is where we watch Severus Snape abuse children for literally years. In my personal opinion, the way he treats Hermione and Neville is beyond disgusting. Snape bullies and threatens Neville on a near daily basis. Neville, a kid whose parents were tortured into insanity, something Snape knows. And Hermione, who he mocks for being smart. And ugly???? Cause that's fucking appropriate? Also, I don't care how much you hated Harry's dad, you don't mock an orphan's dead parent in front of them.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, I think comparing these three characters is really interesting because of their similarities. But I think it's important to remember that NONE of them are redeemed (at least not fully) in canon. All of them do things that are very bad and that is a totally valid reason to hate them. All Regulus Black and Draco Malfoy have is the POTENTIAL for character arcs, I think arguing which of them deserves that arc more is kind of pointless because neither of them is more or less deserving. It's just who you wanna do the work for. But most importantly, JKR spent time and energy on Severus Snape's character in a way that she did not on Draco or Regulus's and as a result, he does not have the potential for redemption that they do. Because JKR has no idea what makes someone a redeemable human being. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#harry potter #harry potter discourse #marauder era #regulus black #draco malfoy #anti severus snape #i guess #I mean I am anti severus snape #but I also think this is just the truth of what happens like idk my dudes

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kopykunoichi · 3 years

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Just some thoughts on The Bad Batch finale...

First of all - great episode. I never thought I'd feel sad about watching Tipoca City get blown up, but here we are. Now the Empire has all the data and research for the clones, which makes me wonder if Nala Se will be instrumental in Palpatine's research for transplanting his "essence" into another body. But I digress.

Omega's knowledge of Kamino and her revelation that she was there when the Bad Batch were being enhanced is very interesting. We know that Boba was from the first batch, so we can assume Omega was too. She would be 13 now, though a little small for her age (late bloomer, so to speak). If she remembers them, she had to be at least 5 when they were brought into the lab. They might have been a little older too when they were further enhanced because it would have taken time for their abilities to manifest. Perhaps they are 3rd gen (11 years old making them physically 22 now) and they were brought in for further enhancement when they were two years old (physically 4), which would make Omega 5 years old when she saw them. Theoretically, they could have been brought in even older than that and still not remembered because they were in tanks. Either way, it's very fascinating to realize that for a brief moment in time, she was about the same age as them...and she knew them.

Hunter and Crosshair. Oh, so much good stuff between them in this episode. Full disclosure, I'm not a big Crosshair fan and I never was (even in TCW), but I also try to give him a fair shake. I don't doubt that he felt betrayed after being left behind and I can sympathize with those feelings. On the other hand, I also think he's an extremely manipulative individual and he played up his hurt in order to control Hunter.

First off, let's talk about the clone supremacy thing. TBB was always biased against regs - they *all* thought they were superior to them. I think this had more to do with their training than with just genetics (sort of in the same way that Navy SEALs see themselves as superior to army grunts because they are elite special forces). But I think Crosshair truly believes his life is worth more than other clones' lives because of his genetic mutations. This was hinted at back in TCW when they rescued Echo and he outright said it today. "Not the ones that matter." Conversely, I don't think Hunter and others feel the same way about regs anymore after spending time with Cut, Rex, Howzer, and Gregor - which is why those interactions were so important over this season. They changed for the better while Crosshair has doubled down on his superiority complex (the core of the Imperial mindset). Crosshair sees his batch brothers as equals and he wants them to be a team again fighting for the Empire, but he rejects Omega.

This leads to the abandonment matter. Crosshair feels as though his team betrayed him when they left him behind - even though they didn't have a choice at the time. He counters Hunter with the argument that he didn't have a choice either. Except, he then undermines himself when he admits that he took his chip out "a long time ago", which means he *did* have a choice. Crosshair easily kills his new stormtrooper squad, demonstrating that he could have escaped on his own and joined his brothers a long time ago, but he chose not to because he wants them to join him as Imperials. If he cared about his brothers more than his new job, he could have joined them a whole lot easier than they could have extracted him (especially because they believed they would have to catch him, hold him, and then find a place to de-chip him while he was fighting them the whole time).

When Hunter brings up Omega, Crosshair counters with a seemingly solid argument about how if Hunter really cared about her, he'd leave her someplace safe, which, of course, Hunter attempted at the very beginning with Cut, but changed his mind when Omega ran back to them. It almost makes Crosshair seem as though he genuinely cares about her, but he contradicts himself again when he shifts his argument to "join the Empire so you can have purpose again". As if his brothers caring for Omega and keeping her safe isn't "purpose" enough, but that's a whole other thread. Crosshair has made it abundantly clear with how many times he has tried to kill Omega that he doesn't care about her - which says to me he was just manipulating Hunter.

Crosshair's feelings of betrayal clearly resonate with Hunter, but throughout their interactions, he shows that he still doesn't fully trust him (probably because of the chip). When Crosshair reveals that he no longer has a chip and refuses to answer when he removed it, Hunter's trust is further broken. And yet, even knowing that Crosshair is now loyal to the Empire of his own free will, he still saves him. Perhaps he thinks that Crosshair can be turned back now that he's no longer under the chip's influence.

Next week will tell if Crosshair will get the chance to shift his loyalties back to his brothers and join the good guys again. One part of me wants to see them all together and fighting the good fight as a team again. Another part of me really wants the writers to continue down the path they are taking - where Crosshair is a sort of foil for Anakin. Instead of the Jedi who joined the Empire and then hunted down the other Jedi, we'd have the clone who joined the Empire and then hunted down the other "disloyal" clones. Crosshair is a complicated character, which makes him an interesting antagonist, because many people still really like him. Or...he may just get the typical redemption=death Star Wars treatment. I hope not - I'm rather over that trope.

Here's to hoping everyone will make it through the finale episodes alive and well.

#the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #crosshair #hunter #omega #the bad batch finale

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neocity-sarai · 4 years

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Redemption [PART 3]

❃ pairing: reader x mark lee, reader x haechan (divergent! au)

❃ alerts: making out, suggestive content, language, violence/ injuries, death, blood, angst, light smut

❃ song rec: beating heart by ellie goulding

When morning comes, the sun that streams through the windows of Haechan’s suite seems taunting rather than comforting. You sit up on the bed, beginning to get dressed in the protective gear that Evelyn gave you a few nights ago. You shudder from the memory of last night’s events: the way Rex was injured and the way Haechan made you feel when his lips were pressed on the hollow of your neck. You ghost your fingers over your lips, almost wishing what it would be like if you didn’t hold yourself back.

Like on cue, Haechan opens the door before making his way over to you. Somehow, he looks different. His hair is gelled up, exposing his forehead while he’s dressed in black vests and black arm bands that wrap around his wrists. Daggers sit securely in the sheathes that are tied to the side of his pants.

“Y/n?”

“Haechan.”

Haechan looks concerned, judging by the way his lips are pressed into a thin line and the way his brows are furrowed.

He pauses before continuing, “Hear me out. I think you should stay.”

You huff with impatience, hitting the bed, “How many times have we been over this? I already told you that I’m not staying. I’m not letting you fight my battles.”

“But what if you get hurt? What do I do then? What if you end up dead?”

“Then let me. Isn’t that what you said? Taking the system down is what you're made to do? Prepared to die for?”

Haechan’s eyes darken, flashed with hurt, “I said that but you’re different- they didn’t take your family.”

“God! Haechan, it’s no different! They took away my family, the only faction I’ve ever considered a home, they even took Mark away! They’re probably all dead now!”

The room is too silent, too still. You don’t even register the moisture in your nose, tears running from your eyes.

You stare down to the ground, Haechan standing a few feet away from you. He doesn’t know what to say either. He turns around, his back facing you as he forms fists with his hands.

His voice is quiet but stern, “Who’s Mark?”

Sitting on the bed, you grip the comforter tightly. You mutter back at him, “He’s just- He- that’s not even important. My point is you’re not the only one who lost people. I did too. Now, it’s time to go home. I can’t stay here any longer.”

“So, what you’re saying is that there was someone else? All along?”

You flick your eyes to Haechan’s figure, anger burning through your heart, “Are you really going to start right now?”

Haechan’s voice cracks, choking a bit, “Y/N, do you even care about me?”

You’re beyond shocked at this point. You stare at him, tears hot and fast down your cheeks. Your voice squeaks- you hate how it makes you sound weak, “You’re standing there and asking me that? Of course, I care about you. If I didn’t, do you think I would’ve stayed? I would’ve helped you and Rex? After we almost-”

Haechan cuts you off coldly, “I don’t know, it seems convenient that you stayed, it’s not like you could’ve gone anywhere else. Were you just using me for food and a warm bed?”

Haechan’s words break the dam entirely. Your chest hurts as if he has pressed his dagger into the axis of your heart. You can’t believe you’re hearing such words that come from Haechan’s mouth. You can’t bring yourself to say anything else. Haechan steps towards the door, not even sparing a glance to look back at you, “I’ll be waiting by the weaponry with Evelyn. The choice is yours. I can’t force you to do anything.”

With a slam, Haechan leaves you alone in the brightly-lit suite. Breaking down, you don’t even try to suppress any of your sobs. It wracks your whole body, shaking from the lack of air in your lungs. When you seem to get a hold of yourself, your eyes turn angry despite being swollen and red from the tears. You feel the rim of your nails against your palm, your heart beating fast. You decide right then and there, you’re ready to come home. You shouldn’t have stayed as long as you did even if you loved Haechan. Even if your family and Mark aren’t alive, there isn’t a point to living a life at the Arms peacefully knowing Jeanine took everything from you. You’re prepared to take back your home, even if it means dying there.

[11 AM]

Like Haechan had said, the rest of the Arms are by the weaponry. You spot Haechan and Evelyn conversing ahead of the pack as they’re both loaded with rifles and guns of all sorts. A burly man looks down at your small figure, “You coming with us?”

You try to straighten your back to seem larger than you are, “I am. Give me a hefty one.”

He chuckles at you, “Guns aren’t toys little girl.”

Without any hesitation, you grab at the handgun that is in a holster at your belt- pointing the gun straight at the man, “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

The man freezes, his eyes widened and his hands put up at you, “Alright- I’ll get you one, jesus fuck.”

The other members of the Arms have their hawk eyes on you, glares shot in your direction. When the burly man hands you a gun fit for a sniper, you smile at him daintily, “Thanks Reg.” before putting your handgun back in it’s holster. You are not in the mood to show any mercy at this point.

Slinging your larger gun over your shoulder, you see Evelyn standing on one of the tables in the warehouse-like room as the crowd of soldiers gathers around her. Her voice is bellowing, “Arms of Arson! You have come to be with me today for the moment we have waited all our lives for. We’re going to take back what’s rightfully ours!”

The crowd cheers wildly, weapons hoisted to the air in pledging allegiance to Evelyn. She sweeps a hair out of her face, a wicked grin slashed on her face. You take note of the smear of lipstick under her lip. Next to her, Haechan stares down at the ground as he clutches his gun tightly, eyes sharpened and glaring.

Evelyn continues, “When I started the Arms, I knew I wanted to take down the system. I knew they took your families and your homes. This is our time! The moment we’ve been waiting for! Know that this might cost you your life, though, it will never be in vain when we reach the new world! A world ruled by us!”

The cheers are ear-deafening, people stomping on the ground and people hooting Evelyn’s name. Still, no matter how many people surround you, your eyes always land on Haechan. Part of you still wants to talk to him. It’s the first time you’ve admitted it to yourself: You love Mark, but you also love Haechan. You love them in different ways.

Another woman by Evelyn points to the exit, “Move out!”

Like an army of soldiers, everyone marches together in unison towards the path that leads through the forest. You take the time to decide what you’ll do when you get there. Will you try to head for your family first? Will you try to find Mark? Could he help? If you find Mark, he can help you find your family. It’s worth a shot, he has to be alive.

By the time the army of Evelyn’s soldiers makes it out of the forest, you find yourself in a familiar spot. Even in an ocean of people, the wall still looks as melancholy as ever. As always, there’s no one guarding the wall- it makes things easier. Evelyn turns back to the crowd, barking orders, “We’re splitting up. The plan is to be smart about this. Most likely, Erudite, Dauntless, and Candor are the most guarded. Smaller groups will head to Amity and Abnegation. My team, we’re going directly for Jeanine. Kill anyone who defends her.”

Without a second thought, you step forward as you wave your hands around, “Evelyn, everyone in dauntless is under a sim- how can we just kill them?”

Haechan doesn’t look shocked. In fact, he scoffs at you and it makes you wince. Evelyn’s expression is stern, “Dauntless soldiers killed my sister, we show them no mercy.”

“So one life for so many? How is that fair?”

You feel isolated the moment the crowd steps away from you, parting like two oceans as Evelyn makes her way to you. Evelyn towers over you, her eyes lit with fire, “My sister was my whole world. They murdered her for being more than one thing- uncontrollable. It’s an injustice. They all deserve to burn.”

You bite your lip, stepping back from her a bit. You can't bring yourself to say anything else. Evelyn runs her index finger along your chin, “Keep up y/n. You can fight with us or do your own thing. It doesn’t matter.”

She turns back, the surrounding soldiers muttering curses and insults at you. Everyone starts to march after Evelyn, passing you as you stand in your place. You can’t save Dauntless. But maybe, you can reach people who can.

Getting past the wall isn’t a difficult feat. There’s so many soldiers in the Arms that any guards stationed are gunned down in a matter of seconds. You manage to catch up to Evelyn, Haechan, and her entourage of elites. Haechan notices that you’re next to him, moving a bit away from you with indifference.

“What do you want y/n?”

“Haechan, please.”

“Don’t make this hard on me.”

“Just tell Evelyn that this isn’t right. Killing everyone won’t solve anything! What’s a world of rule when there aren't innocents? Why kill the people who have nothing to do with her sister’s death?”

For a moment, Haechan stops walking. People whisper as they pass you both, their eyes lurking on you. Haechan looks angry, “You really don’t understand do you? I won’t convince Evelyn so you can run back to whoever. It’s the faction system that’s the injustice, not just the people who brutally murdered her sister and my parents. I mean, look at you- you can’t even admit you’re one of us.”

You stare at him, venom on your tongue, you remember his words. “You’re divergent y/n.” They echo in your mind. Shaking your head, “Fine. I knew you wouldn’t help me, I thought that if you cared about me- you would at least try. You’re so blind to see that there are innocent lives on the line. I’m sorry Evelyn and you have suffered. Making others suffer won’t solve that. It can’t bring them back.”

You turn away from Haechan, advancing beyond Evelyn and her troop. Haechan calls your name, his hands curled into fists. Evelyn stops him firmly, “Let her go. She’s gone awol. She won’t stand with us, we don’t need her.”

Though Haechan shuts his mouth, he wants nothing more but to chase after you and tell you he’s sorry. He wants to tell you that he doesn’t want to doubt your care for him, he just wants to protect you is all. He’s done a bad job of showing it.

Tears prick at your eyes, your legs aching for running so hard. When you manage to make it into the Dauntless sector- the first thing you do is make your way to your family’s home. So far, the sector looks empty, almost like a ghost town. No Dauntless children play on the street and no elderly sit on their lawns. You hide behind one of the houses, your gun pressed against your chest as you spot some Dauntless guards patrolling some of the homes. You manage to maneuver your way through the allies to get your house, pulling on the handle of the side door that leads into your home. Expecting it to be locked, you jut the butt of your gun onto the rusty lock, making sure not to make too much noise. You quietly slip in, the comfort of your home enveloping you. Everything’s the same. The family photos on the wall in your living room, the furniture, and all. Everything is in the same place as your family left it. Though, there’s no sign of them. You call out, “Mom? Dad?”

There’s no answer. You walk upstairs, your fingers tracing the grey wallpaper that’s starting to peel. When you make it into your loft, there’s a familiar feeling that encases your heart. You feel safe in this house. You call out for them again, “Mom? Dad? You here?”

You step into your old bedroom, the one that you grew up in as a little girl. It’s still the same. Your bed is made, pictures and drawings hang above your desk as a string of crystals hangs on the frame of your window. You smile down at your pile of journals and books that your uncle gave you in the past. Flipping the pages, you take note of all the doodles you made in your notebook- how it was your dream to become one of the dauntless leaders. Then, that’s when you feel a presence against your neck. You feel someone’s body press up against yours, lips barely brushing past your ear, “Well, hi, y/n.”

You recognize that voice. You drop your journal, turning around so that your back is pressed to the rim of your cedar-wood desk.

“Mark?”

You’re met with the view of Mark. He looks mostly the same as when you first got separated. His cheeks are still prominent, muscles carved out more, and features slightly more darkened. His skin looks tanner. His hair is now a darker black color, his lips pink and smooth. You’re not sure if you should hug him or cry. Though, there is something that sticks out to you. You gaze into his eyes, his hands trapping you by the desk- fingers grasping the rim. They seem changed. You notice the amethyst ring that encircles his pupils. It glows when he stares back at you. His tone isn’t as warm as it was before, “So you decided to come back.”

You gulp back the lump in your throat, “I was figuring out a way to come back. What happened to you?”

Mark gives you a smirk, his eyes sharp, “Nothing, y/n. I’ve been here. You left, Jeanine’s been taking care of everyone. We’ve been better than ever.”

You frown at his response, “I left? Do you remember what happened that day?”

The boy in front of you chuckles, a hand running through his jet black hair. The crystals cast light onto the strands, causing them to look a shade of hazel.

“I remember that you abandoned me and Jeanine took me under her wing, she taught me the ways of the system. Society isn’t fair to people, only the strongest get the choice.”

It’s hard to fathom the Mark you knew has disappeared. The warm innocence that wrapped his personality seems to be absent.

“You don’t really believe that do you? What did they do to you? I didn’t abandon you, Mark, I didn’t.”

Mark comes as close as he can to you, his eyes unwavering from yours. His whisper comes out in a husky tone, “You did, you left me and I-”

For a moment, Mark pauses. It looks like he’s fighting something inside of him, the way he starts to grit his teeth and tighten his grip until his knuckles turn white. Mark grimaces, pressing his fingers to his temples.

You take it upon yourself to get Mark to remember. He has to remember. You place your hand over his, causing him to freeze. He stares back at your hand and back to you, eyes widened and lips parted.

“Just close your eyes.” you say.

Hesitantly, he follows your orders. In a small, swift motion you stop before your lips land on his, watching Mark hold still. Then, when you crash your lips onto his, Mark whimpers from the sudden impact. He’s stiff before relaxing into it, gliding his lips along yours. You grip his hand as your other hand moves to cup his cheek. Small noises come out of Mark’s lips, yearning for your taste. You missed him. Though you were apart, you never stopped thinking about Mark. He bumps his nose against yours as your teeth knack together from the lyrical, syncopated movement. Mark thinks you taste sweet, plush and soft. Pulling away, your voice barely comes out in a whisper, “Do you remember now?”

Eyes half-lidded, he blinks slowly, “Y/n?”

You clutch his arms, hands squeezing tighter, “Mark? Do you remember?”

“Oh my god.”

Mark collapses into your arms, his figure heaving in your grasp. You realize he’s crying when you feel tears on your shoulder, sniffles apparent from the boy resting his chin on yours.

“Hey. Hey, I’m here now. I’m sorry I left you alone.”

Mark lifts his head up, eye-level to you, “I missed you.”

You reach up to touch Mark’s face, “I missed you more than you know. What happened?”

Mark shakes his head somberly, “It’s no good. Jeanine and Erudite have taken over all of the factions and now it’s just some messed up slave system. She made me one of her pawns- I had to do her dirty work, things I would never-”

You intertwine your fingers with Mark’s. He looks down to his feet, tears trailing down his cheeks. His doe, brown eyes replace the robotic, violet eyes he had a few short moments ago. You sigh at the sight.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to help you.”

Mark nods, yanking down the collar of his black sweater. Your heart stops from the sight of so many puncture marks. They must be from injected syringes that cause Mark to be under Jeanine’s simulation.

“Jeanine did this to you?”

Mark doesn’t say another word. You can tell by his frown and his warm eyes that he would never hurt anyone. Instantly your blood boils with anger, “I’m going to kill Jeanine.”

He snaps his head back up, “You will?”

Nodding, you place your hand on your gun that sits on your desk, “I brought some friends along with me. They’re here to bring the system down.”

Mark is shocked, his jaw completely open, “That’s why you were gone?”

“Yes. It’s the resistance. They’re real Mark. They’re real.”

Instantly, Mark presses his forehead against yours, “Your family is safe too, you know. My family is hiding out with them in Amity. I was able to get to them in time before you know-”

You lean to kiss him again, his words in between his kisses, “Just.” his lips on yours, “In. Case.”

You part from him, “What is it?”

He slowly nods, “Just in case we don’t make it, I just want to spend some time with you. The simulation controls me within intervals. I’m not safe y/n. I’m a danger to you.”

“No, you’re not. We’ll handle it together.”

Immediately, Mark smashes his lips onto yours once more. You feel the temperature of your bodies rise, Mark more passionate than the last. It ignites a burning sensation in the pit of your stomach. It makes your toes curl, Mark’s teeth sinking into your bottom lip as he makes a groaning noise. Mark picks you up, forcibly wrapping your legs on his waist- it causes you to yelp. He places you on top of your desk, back against the wall. Pulling back on Mark’s hair, you allow him to find purchase on your waist, kissing burning marks on your neck. Your chests are heaving from colliding, Mark hastily ripping his sweater off of him. You do the same, lust filling the air suffocatingly. You let Mark undo your protective layers and the belt of your pants- leaving you naked from him. Your body shakes from the sight of Mark discarding his pants and under layers, his calloused hands tracing around your thighs. You’re sure his nails make crescents in your skin. Before Mark continues, he proceeds to carry you like a koala to your bed, setting you down as delicately as he can. Mark relishes the face you make, showing him how much you want him. He chuckles, “Did you miss me that much?”

You huff out, “Of course I-”

Suddenly, you feel a force sink further and deeper into you, it causes tears to gloss your eyes and for you to gasp. Mark tosses his head back, enjoying the pleasure when he shuts his eyes. When he begins to move back and forth, you grip the fabric of your blanket as hard as you can, “Oh my god, M-Mark, please-”

“Say it, y/n.”

You shut your eyes too, your skin hot as flames, M-“Mark, I-I love y-you.”

“I know that y/n. I know, and I love you too.”

When you’re both tired, Mark collapses onto the bed next to you- both of you still high on ecstasy of feeling each other’s touch, each other’s closeness. After that, you spend an hour admiring Mark under the sunset lighting, sweeping his hair out of his eyes and kissing his cheeks.

“We should get going, it’s time.”

You nod, proceeding to get dressed. Still, you blush at the sight of being unclothed in front of Mark. Slipping your pants on, Mark presses a kiss to the base of your nape- teeth grazing the spot. You laugh at him, “You still want more?”

“I can never get enough of you y/n.”

“There’s time for that later.”

“I’m taking you up on that.”

Both of you exit your home, guns in hand and alert for any soldiers that might come your way. Mark whispers in your ear as both of you crouch behind a wall, “If the time comes, I go too far under during the sim- you know what to do.”

You glare ahead of you, “It won’t come to that. I’ll make sure of it.”

[Erudite: 7PM]

“There it is.”

You allow Mark to lead you to Erudite’s headquarters, something he’s grown to know like the back of his hand.

You whisper, “What’s the plan?”

Mark crouches beside you in the shadows, “Jeanine is on the 10th floor of the tower. All we have to do is get up there without being seen.”

You gaze around the tower and the glass pyramid structure that is Erudite’s main sector. People dressed in blue and white suits breeze through the glass tunnels and floors of the tower, eyes down at their electronic devices.

“I got it. I know what to do.”

Mark raises an eyebrow, “What do you have in mind?”

“Well, Jeanine doesn’t know I’m here. She also doesn’t know you’re helping me. You can just walk in there and not be suspected. For me, I’ll take out an Erudite member and wear the uniform. I don’t think anyone knows my face.”

“Except Jeanine?”

“Right, except her.”

Mark nods, “Let’s go then.”

“Cover for me.”

Mark swivels his head back and forth, aiming his gun around any exposed areas where enemies might attack from. You hide by a silver sculpture before waiting for anyone to walk out of the double doors. On cue, an Erudite man exits out onto the street as you slam the edge of your gun to the back of his head- his body falling in time for Mark to catch him. You retreat back into an alley nearby as you strip the man of his uniform. Once you’re dressed, you grab the man’s tablet before nodding at Mark, “Let’s go.”

Once you’re in Erudite, it’s everything you’ve imagined it to be. It’s a wide space with high, reflective ceilings. Long, silver tables hold different devices of liquids bubbling are round-shaped glasses and twisty tubes that tangle in a network. Some are dressed in lab gear, recording their discoveries with every second they glance at the lab equipment. Mark whispers to you, “Don’t stare too long, people will catch on.”

Thankfully, no one recognizes you yet. You and Mark take the first elevator that you see up to the 10th floor. Though some people enter your elevator, you put on the best fake smile that has ever graced your lips. Arriving at the upper deck, walking past Erudite council members and science students, you finally make it to Jeanine’s office. Her name is spelled out on a gold plaque, marking her as the leader of Erudite. You eye Mark for a little longer, “I have to get her to stop the simulations. This isn’t right.”

“Are you ready to do this if she refuses?”

“I have to be.”

Mark opens the door first, telling you to stay behind him for a bit.

“Who’s there?” Jeanine sits at her desk, pressing buttons on a floating, virtual screen that glows white.

“It’s Mark.”

“Ah- what brings you in?”

When you step out from behind Mark, you pull out the handgun that you hid under the navy blue trench coat before aiming it right at Jeanine. Jeanine freezes in her spot, eyes unmoving.

“I found you Jeanine! Shut down the sim, now!”

You press your finger dangerously on the trigger, “I’m not asking twice Jeanine!”

At first, Jeanine’s gears turn in her mind, “If it isn’t y/n? Long time no see?”

“Quit the games! Less talking!”

Before you can move to press the barrel to Jeanine’s head, she bursts out into laughter. She starts to cackle maniacally. Now, you understand why. You feel another gun press on the fabric that covers your back. No. No. This can’t be real.

Jeanine speaks, “Thank you for bringing her to me Mark. You’re very useful.”

You turn your head to look back at him, Mark’s eyes the same warm brown. Was he under another sim? It can’t be, his irises aren’t violet.

“Mark? What is she- what?”

Mark gives you an egotistical, arrogant smirk, “You just got yourself fooled y/n.”

By now, your jaw is wide open. You tear your eyes away from Mark to Jeanine, “I don’t understand.”

Jeanine walks over to you, stooping to your level from her heels, “I was one step ahead y/n. That’s all there is to it.”

Craning your head to look at Mark, he still keeps his gun on you. You pray this is some sort of act- some sort of play in Mark’s plan. When he doesn’t waver, you begin to raise your voice, “Were you planning to turn me in this whole time? I don’t even recognize you anymore!”

He looks to the ground, not wanting to meet your eyes. You’re appalled. You’re even disgusted. In normal circumstances, you’d try to give Mark the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping to conclusions. Even if Mark had an explanation, he’s still here- threatening to kill you in the command of Jeanine.

A virtual screen becomes projected into the air from a button Jeanine had just pressed. You feel your heart sink when many camera views show what’s happening in other sections. Evelyn leads a whole squadron of a hundred soldiers into Dauntless, the other elites leading their troops in Erudite and Candor. They all move like pre-programmed robots, slashing down and killing everyone in their path: dauntless innocents under a sim, erudite members, and others. It’s a mass slaughter. Neither side would stop for anything. Jeanine chuckles, “See, y/n. This is human nature. We fight for control and we kill each other to get it. No matter the side, everyone wants power.”

Biting your lip, blood sits on your tongue. You curl your fingers around your gun, gripping the handle of it. “Jeanine, I’m not asking you again. Shut down the sim!”

Jeanine smooths her hair back, not one out of place, “You’re in no place to make demands y/n. Mark?”

In a flash second, Mark puts you on your knees as he presses his gun to your back still. You question whether or not you should run for it and take Jeanine out first but Mark would have the advantage since you’re kneeling right in front of him. Mark walks in front of you, purple swirls clouding his vision before he pins you to the ground. One hand holds your wrist and the other points his gun at you, “I’m sorry y/n.”

Jeanine doesn’t even spare a second glance. She just faces the window, watching the faction system and the Arms bring the world into destruction. Clamping your eyes shut, you feel the cool metal of the barrel on your forehead. You pray that your family gets out safe and that your friends do too- even Haechan, the boy you wish you could talk to one last time. You even pray for Mark, the person who will end your life here and now. Surely, this is as far as you can go. When Mark is close to releasing the trigger, you hear the door swing wide open. A voice screams, tackling Mark to the ground and off of you as Jeanine watches in shock.

Haechan struggles to hold Mark down.

The mahogany haired boy screams at you, “Y/n! The syringe!”

You look to the metal stand next to Jeanine’s desk, a violet-colored syringe sits in a canister. Making no hesitation to grab it, you point your gun at a stiff Jeanine who presses her back against the wall. She doesn’t look so tough anymore. You amble to her,shooting one precise bullet into her foot. It causes her to scream while she falls to the ground, blood staining her prim-proper white socks. She grunts in pain which is enough to make you laugh, “Not so high and mighty now huh Jeanine? You underestimate me, don’t you know I’m divergent?”

You stab the syringe into the juncture of her neck, causing her to lose consciousness for a few moments. Then, like an instantaneous reaction, Jeanine lights up before blinking her eyes several times- stuck in a daze from the simulation you’ve induced on her. You grab her by her hair, not caring how painful it is, “Shut the sim down! That’s an order!”

“As you wish.”

Like a man made invention, Jeanine nimbly moves her fingers across the virtual screen as you hold her figure up so she doesn’t collapse. The screen reads: “Cancel operation: Simulation Dauntless?”

“Proceed cancellation.”

When Jeanine presses a glowing red button, the people on the screens seem to pause their fire and bloodshed. Various dauntless soldiers, initiates, and leaders stop where they are- their faces riddled with confusion. Same with the other faction members- they beg Evelyn and her troops to spare their lives. For a moment, Evelyn looks around as if she’s checking to see if anyone is watching. Immediately, she resumes as she had before. Like no spare thoughts exchanged, she continues to gun down the dauntless soldiers in front of her despite their release of the simulation- bodies falling like dominoes. Jeanine still stands entranced, staring at the virtual screen.

“A little help here!”

You swivel around to see Haechan trying to force back Mark’s ravaging hands in an attempt to choke him. Looking back at the screen and back to Mark, the simulation should have stopped. Once Jeanine put the exit code, Mark should’ve gone back to normal. No, she gave him a different kind of sim- a stronger one. You shake Jeanine violently, “Where the fuck is the antidote to Mark’s sim?!”

Stiffly, Jeanine points to an amber-colored cylinder in the same compartment as the violet ones. Your fingers fumble trying to slide the tube of liquid into an injection gun before stabbing it into Mark’s neck vein. He lets out a pained groan as he collapses and falls on top of Haechan. It doesn’t take much time for Haechan to push him off, a grimacing smirk on his face, “I always gotta save your ass don’t I?”

You launch yourself into Haechan’s figure, arms wrapping around him, “Thank you. Thank you for saving my life.”

Haechan shakes his head, “I’m still mad at you. Don’t forget that.”

Next to you both, Mark rises from the floor as he wipes his face with his hands, “What happened?”

He adjusts his blurry vision as he sees you hugging Haechan, “Y/n?”

Awkwardly, you detach from Haechan and crawl over to Mark, cupping your hand to his cheek, “Are you normal Mark now?”

He raises an eyebrow, “I was under sim again- wasn’t I?”

Slowly you nod, “You almost killed both of us.”

Mark freezes in his place, eyes widened with shock, “I-what?”

“It’s over now. At least, I think it is. Jeanine gave you a sim that disguised you. She made you seem like you weren’t under one when you were. I was scared.”

Mark looks like he’s about to burst into tears when he places his head in his hands, “I’m so sorry. I would never want to hurt you. I would never. I can’t.”

You hold his hand gingerly, “Let’s talk about this later.”

You hear Haechan speak from behind you, “This is a nice reunion but we should really get going- there’s a war going on out there.”

Once you gather your things and you’re ready to leave, Haechan motions a hand at Jeanine, “Should we just leave her?”

You reply to him, “What else can we do with her? Take her to Evelyn?”

“I think that’s the only option we have.”

With that, you, Mark, Haechan, and Jeanine hurry off to find Evelyn. Near the headquarters entrance, you spot staggering figures emerging from the foggy mist of gun smoke and bloodlust. You recognize it to be Evelyn’s body as well as a couple of her entourage next to her. They’re gnashed with the blood of war and soot from fighting, hands dirty with red. Evelyn bellows loudly, “Traitors!”

Haechan holds up his hands, “Evelyn, it’s not what you think alright! Just listen!”

Evelyn still stands where she is as she holds her bleeding wound from her arm, her gun still pointed at you. You’re all surrounded. Haechan tries his best to explain, “Evelyn, hear me out! Y/n stopped the sim! There’s no more reason to kill any more innocents!”

Evelyn stifffens, her teeth grit out of burning fury, “Is this your way of defending her? I’ll have her head for killing my sister.”

Without a second thought, Evelyn fires a Jeanine causing Jeanine to crash to the ground. Though you’ve never liked Jeanine, she had more use than to be killed off so quickly. You could’ve used her to sway the faction system- to gain information. Evelyn and her soldiers make their way closer to you, her eyes blazing with animosity, “I should’ve known you would interfere. You lowly girl- you should’ve stayed out of it! If I acquired control over the sim, the Arms would have ruled Chicago! But you had to screw up our plans!”

You scream back at her, “Who even are you?! How are you any different than Jeanine?!”

“Don’t compare me to that bitch!”

Like an immediate reaction, Evelyn fires her gun at you- it’s so fast that you don’t have time to react. It’s all happening too fast, too sudden. There’s not enough time to think. Before you can even move your feet, you witness Haechan’s body come crashing down in front of you- a silver bullet piercing the flesh of his heart.

“HAECHAN! NO!”

You dive to the ground, cradling Haechan’s fallen body. Blood starts to spread like wildfire across the fabric of his vest, blood trailing down his lips, “Haechan- listen to me. Stay with me okay?”

Haechan can’t even answer you, his eyes are squeezed shut from the pain. Blood stains your hands red. Evelyn aims her gun at you once again, “You two better stay out of my way!”

In another quick second, Mark leaps towards you in one big stride before firing at Evelyn. The sound of the whining noise makes your head dizzy. You feel dehydrated and exhausted, you almost might collapse right there. But, you can’t.

With a thud, Evelyn sinks to her knees as she clutches her chest- eyeing the crimson that comes from her wound. Falling to the ground, her body shakes from the coughs that slip out of her throat. You press your hands down on Haechan’s flowing wound, your chest heaving from aches. “Stay with me! Haechan, don’t shut your eyes!”

Haechan’s eyes are fluttering, his breath turning shallower and shallower by the second. Mark drops next to you, setting down his gun. You don’t even realize the tears that start running down your cheeks, your nose running too. Haechan manages to gather every last bit of strength in him, “Y/n?”

You gaze down at him, clutching his hand in yours. Lifting his arm, he touches your face- blood smearing your cheek. You can’t even care. Your voice is extremely shaky and frail, “I’m here. We’re going to get you out of here! Just stay-”

Haechan swipes his thumb across your cheek, “P-princess, there’s n-no time.”

You shudder at the memory of Haechan’s pet name he gave to you when you first met. You choke on your own saliva, “Don’t say that! We can-”

Haechan blinks slowly, “I’m s-sorry for e-earlier, I n-never meant to hurt y-you.”

You place your hand on his, molding into his touch, “I know. You’d never hurt me, I know.”

Sobbing, you cry harder. Haechan looks to Mark, his mind becoming loose and disoriented, “You’re the g-guy who-o saved me back then.”

You look at Haechan and back to Mark. Mark’s eyes are glossy with tears, leaning closer to Haechan’s body, “You were that kid I found in that closet that day?”

When you look back to Haechan for his answer, his eyes are wide open and bereft of life. His skin feels cold and dark, his soul disappearing into nothing. That’s when you break down. You practically scream into Haechan’s chest, clutching his cold hand in yours. Your hair is matted with sweat, your hands are covered with Haechan’s blood. Thankfully, Mark doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t judge you. He lets you cry it out and lets you collapse into his chest, holding you until there are no more tears left. By the end, you’re sure that no matter where you go or how long you live, you’ll always remember the boy who smiled at your playful jokes. The one who would let his dog lead him into the forest. The boy who saved your life. The boy who caught you from a tree.

It’s imperative to say that the day the faction system fell was a painful memory. All the lives that were lost and the amount of destruction to Chicago was a result of humans trying to control all other humans. The plan was never to fight for anyone’s freedom, not for the good of the people. The goal was always power. Revenge. It killed them. So, in Haechan’s name, you and Mark decided to do something for the people that day. Climbing to the top of Erudite’s broadcasting tower, you blared your voice onto the streets, within the neighborhoods, and through every building in between Chicago. Though your hands were shaking, you tried your best to sound strong. At least Mark was by your side, his hand on your shoulder comfortingly.You began, “I am sure most of you must feel lost. You must feel hurt. You must feel afraid. These are all things I am feeling right now. Though, right now- what we need is unity. We don’t need to kill any more lives that can be salvaged. We need not injure those that can be healed. This is a time of rebuilding and we’re going to start from the ground up. Not only will the faction system be abolished, but the Arms of Arson are welcome to stay if you abide by our rules. Not the rules that give one person power but a democracy that gives us order and peace for the good of the people. The choice is yours.”

[7 months later]

After the war, some of the members of the Arms chose to stay. Though they joined the resistance, not all of them wanted revenge. Not all of them wanted to serve under Evelyn. Weeks later, you and Mark had brought together council members from each of the factions and settled on a peace treaty that abolished any chance of one person becoming a ruler over Chicago. Over time, people got used to coexisting without labels or categories. They didn’t let their group name define who they were, rather, the people they would become. What was left of Dauntless was announced to be top of security in Chicago in which you and Mark headed as former Dauntless leaders. Accomplices of Jeanine and corrupt members of all factions were put on trial by Candor, Abnegation and Candor voting democratically on their punishments. You made sure no Divergents would be touched. No matter the age, no matter how big the percentage of divergence, Mark built a security branch that was solely meant for protecting Divergents. Everything seemed to fall into place after you and Mark reunited with your families- your parents praising you for how proud they were. For once, you embraced it. You held onto the fact you didn’t fit in one place. You wanted to be strong but also kind, intelligent, honest, and selfless without being ostracized.

Not long after, Mark asked you to marry him. It wasn’t all that romantic but it was sweet. You had been on security detail on a Wednesday evening but he had gotten your friends Lucas, Selene, Taeyong, and your other colleagues to be in on a candle-lit ceremony that he set up in his old dauntless suite. You said yes, kissing the cheek of the boy who lived next door.

Looking back, throughout all the hardship comes prosperity. This was something that was encompassed by many people in your life: Mark, your friends, your family, and even Haechan. They’d all be engraved in your memory for as long as you lived, no matter where you went or how Chicago would change. There was one thing that stuck to you though. A mantra that was repeated during the days of the faction system: “faction before blood.”

Mark rests his chin on your shoulder, gazing out into the skyline of his suite balcony, leaning in to kiss you deeply- lips dancing on lips. You hold up your obsidian colored band on your ring finger, “How did I get this lucky?”

He pulls you tighter to him, arms wrapped around your waist, “I don’t know, how did I?”

You knew then, it wasn’t factions nor divergence that prevailed. It would always be love that would set you free.

[PART 1: Simulations] [PART 2: Borderlands]

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years

Text

Ghost from the rainforest

James Conrad x Reader

Summary: A simple rescue mission will bring him back to a place full of nightmares, and maybe this time he could find redemption. Situated in 1975, 2 years after the events of Skull Island.

Warnings: Violence, blood, wounds, mentions of war, cursing, implied smut, smoking, angst.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 3: Those who never came home

At 4:35am you were already in the departures site, checking the truck was fully loaded and that there were enough food and water for the men that will accompany you.

It had been a long night, and you barely had any sleep since every time you closed your eyes you could picture Conrad's face laughing at you.

You shake those feelings away and lean your back in the truck, and close your eyes for a moment, the cold breeze of the early morning was more comfortable than the hot room you were staying. And suddenly you were on the edge of sleeping holding yourself standing against the dirty tarp covering the backside of the truck.

"Morning" His voice said suddenly and you frown with your eyes still closed "We are ready when you are Doctor" His tone was oddly professional and when you finally looked at him he immediately look aside, it hurt that he was in the same place as you, regretting what happened.

"Fine, who's driving?" You had the keys on your hand and look at the men with him, there were only three, apart from Conrad. "Aren't you missing people? I count five last night, Dr. Y/L/N" you said shaking his hands.

"Reles" Said the shorter of the four, he had a nice candid smile and brown skin. "Nice to meet you Doc, I must say you look nothing like your dad" That make you smile.

"Glenn Mills" Said the black men next to him looking embarrassed at his teammate behavior "Ignore him doctor, he doesn't know how to be around women." You only nodded in response.

"Ah Reg, I remember" You say at the youngest of them, before he spoke.

"Slivko is fine, those idiots run away, they say the won't be at the jungle for a month" He spoke as someone way older than he looked like, and you could figure they were another form of victims of the war, even when they were alive.

"I'm driving" James said, extending his hand to grab the keys.

"No you're not, they drive on the correct side of the road here" You said ignoring him, "You guys can handle the stick?" You ask the men holding the keys in front of them. Mills raised his hand and you throw them at him. "Let's go then".

Slivko and Reles got inside the backside to guard the boxes and you hop on the front seat next to Mills, and after a minute Conrad sit next to you, and closed the door careful to not look at you.

"I think there is plenty space in the back guarding the medicine." You said to him coldly.

"And I think I get paid to guard you not your boxes" he answered and Glenn was desperately trying to start the engine and ignore you two.

"Fine, but at least keep that thing away from me" you said rolling your eyes and then pointing to the large gun he was carrying with him. And you could hear a giggle on the back knowing pretty well that by now the whole crew knew about what had happened.

The way out of the town was boring and easy, after four hours there was only a country road surrounded by small houses and when it was time to eat you chose to stop at small village. You got something to eat and gave some medicine to the children that couldn't go to the main city to get a proper doctor, and you were back on the road.

"So what kind of doctor are you then?" Reg asked from the back of the truck opening the window that separated you.

"I have a PhD in Chemistry and Biology" You said to him taking the canteen he offered you "And work as a nurse in the 60's so I know my way around wounds and diseases" you said to him.

"See Captain?" Reles said to Conrad in a very serious tone "She is too smart for you" He add making Slivko and Mills laugh while Conrad only gave him a murderous look. "But for real tho, isn't it boring to spend all your time here? I mean don't you mis America?"

"Of course I do, but this is important, I mean the troops are leaving yes, but someone has to help clean the mess they made, no offense" you said and James nodded understanding. "Who's that by the way?" You asked pointing at a picture Glenn had attached to the windshield, where the four men were standing in some field with water to the knees, and next to Conrad an old man with a beard carrying what it seems to be a katana.

"That's Marlow, an old friend" Conrad said and you could tell it was true because there was a happiness in his eyes when he talked about him.

"Yeah, is like a crazy Santa" Reg said, "But anyone would have gone crazy after..."

"Is getting late, we should stop don't you think?" Mills interrupted suddenly and you could see how the three of them looked at Slivko with anger, he had been about to tell you something he shouldn't.

"Yeah sure" You said looking at the map, and then the road "We will be at our first delivery point in ten minutes, and we can sleep there". You haven't told them where you were delivering part of the medicine, you have done it several times and Noah's men never had a problem with it, but you doubt the Captain will be ok with it. "This people can be a little unfriendly" you start when the lights of the village were clear on the road. "Just do as I tell you and it should be fine"

"You don't sound convinced" James noted.

"Because I'm not" You said and you make your hands into fists on your lap praying at nobody in particular that things will go well.

A couple of kids with large guns were at the entrance of the village, you bend over Conrad's lap to reach the window and make sure the see it was you, they immediately let you go in and you get back to your sit pretending it didn't feel like heaven to touch his hard chest.

A man came out of one of the huts with a smile on his face, framed by a thick goatee, he wasn't bad looking but the AK-47 in his hands, and the ones he had put on other children hands was enough reason to hate him.

"I thought you said you hated militars" Conrad said offering you his hand to get down of the truck.

"They're are militia, nor proper militars" You said ignoring his help and jumping of the truck.

"Is there a difference?" He asked looking at the man waiting for you with a smile.

"Yeah, they're worst" You said and walk towards Shukri.

"Selamat kembali, saya isteri cantik saya" Welcome back, my beautiful wife The man said to you and tried to give you a hug that you didn't respond to.

"Santai Shukri, dan hentikan memanggil saya isteri awak, inilah yang anda minta." Relax Shukri, and stop calling me your wife, here is what you asked for. You pointed at the truck and Reg and Joe were already carrying down boxes helped by Shukri's men.

"This are not your usual companions" The man said then looking directly at Conrad who had been pending on your whole interaction since the beginning.

"No, they're not. Is safer don't you think? If we get use to the same people there could be snitches" You lied to him and he nodded approvingly"

"Ahh isteri, I told you you have to stay with me, I could use that quick mind of yours" He said and tried to pull you closer to him but then Conrand put his body between you two making both you and Shukri look in surprise, plus anger on his side.

"How many boxes are we downloading?" He asked and you could see some anger in his eyes.

"14, the ones that are marked with a black cross" You said still shock by his reaction.

"British? That's different" The guerrilla lider said behind his back and you could see Conrad shoulders tense and his nostrils move with fury.

"Yeah, and very helpful, right prince charming?" You said, and touch his arm softly trying to calm whatever the hell was going on in his head. "Put those nice arms of you to good use and help the boy will you?" It was not an order but a plea and he listened because he relaxed his back and start walking towards the truck. You indulge Shukri with a smile and remained close to him while the man take part of the medicine, after that they show you a hut where you could spend the night with two cots inside blankets and a couple chairs "Just that?" You asked him and could see a disgusting grin on his face. "We are five, three of us are going to have to sleep on the floor, I won't risk my men to get bit by a snake, a spider or god knows what"

"Thats all I have isteri, unless you want to share mine" He showed you a toothy grin.

"Hentikan memanggil isteri!" Stop calling me wife you shouted exasperated. "I will take my chances with the spiders, thank you" You said and walk inside where the tired men were resting. "Glenn take one of the cots, Reg and Reles you can take turns for the other" you took a chair and sit there, any hope you had about a civil conversation with Shukri was now gone and with that also your hopes to take a shower. That certainly was not something you will miss when you came back with them to america, if you go back, your mind corrected you.

"You are not sleeping in that chair Y/N" Conrad said, taking a pair of blankets under his arm. "Let's go Reg, the truck will be more comfortable and safer than the floor, we will see you in the morning" He said and reg followed him making it impossible for you to reply. "Also" He had holding the door open for you "Saya tidak percaya suami anda" I don't trust your husband He said putting a venomous inflection in the word husband.

"Oh please don't" You said tired and embarrassed "Do you speak Malay?" You asked when you were at the truck but you didn't come up and let Slivko in first. The night was humid and hot, and you couldn't believe you'll have to wait another two days for a bath.

"I told you I have been here before" He answered, and took a cigarette to his lips, and offered you another.

"Well at least that was true" You said and let him light the cigarette for you.

"Isteri?" He asked again, imitating the disgusting tone Shukri used, and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Let it go Captain" You said taking one long puff "Is just the delusion of a crazy man"

"I think there has to be an interesting story behind" He said facing you and looking you again with his perfect blue eyes.

"Well if you really want to know. I have been here for about five years" You started and look at the quiet village in front of you. "And at first I spend every little money I still had buying medicine from Noah, one day I was trying to help a kid from this village"

"The little guard that welcome us?" He asked throwing the cigarette butt to the ground.

"Yeah, precisely." You said mimicking his movements "Anyway he needed medicine and I couldn't find it, so I talk to the village lider, Shukri's father, and he send his man to "get" the medicine from a local hospital in Bandar. The boy lived and they asked me to check on the rest of the kids. And boy they were in poor shape. So I make a deal with him, I will take his money, and get the medicine peacefully from Noah, if they gave me enough to help others. So long story short I'm kind of a pharmacist for them"

"That's a compelling story" Conrad said rising a brow to you. "But doesn't answer my question"

"Shukri's dad died, and he is a crazy sociopath, who thinks he would take down the Malaysian government with drugs and weapons trafficking. He said to the people that he is their father, and since I take care of his sick children as a mother..."

"You are his wife" He said bitterly "That's a clever way to get a wife without the effort"

"He is just an stupid man" You said crossing your arms "And honestly you didn't have to literally put yourself between us, I have been doing this for long enough to take care of myself. But thank you" You poke his feet with yours.

"You are welcome" He said grinning at you and making a head gesture to you. And at that moment you wanted to forget you were suppose to be mad at him, maybe it was the tiredness or maybe it was how gorgeous he looked under the stars, but you feel the need for him to hold you again.

"Yeah yeah! Is all beautiful, can you two shut the fuck up and go to sleep already??" Reg voice shout from inside the truck and you realized how late it was.

"He is right, you sleep in there, I will be in the back so I can guard the medicine" He said and you agreed

"Captain" You said climbing in to the truck.

"Doctor" He gave you a wink that paralyzed you and walk to the back of the truck. You were glad you were in talking terms now, but you knew there was still a long way to follow to Borneo and you were certain he and the other men were not being completely honest with you. So you were not planning on lowering your guard, at least not yet.

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