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hawkinsp0st · 2 years

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i just realized will is the only Party member who hasn’t had his first kiss. i could not go a moment longer without fixing that. forgive my totally unedited word vomit and mike wheeler’s actual vomit <3

###

vecna is semi-defeated and they know he’s coming back soon because will and el said so but this is the first moment of freedom they’ve had since march and boy, does the Party celebrate: late august, wine coolers and burgers from the drive-thru in the surfer boy pizza van, going down the road as the van rattles, rusted out from years of wear and the long journey to find el, windows down, argyle inexplicably still in hawkins and blazing purple palm tree delight out the driver’s window, giving mike wheeler a contact high from his spot in the backseat.

argyle starts laughing for no apparent reason. everyone looks at him expectantly. “what? oh, man, that cashier,” argyle says languidly. “she looks just like my first kiss.”

jonathan laughs. “you remember what she looks like? wasn’t your first kiss at, like, 12?”

argyle smiles. “trust me, man, you wouldn’t forget this girl. sweetest lips on this side of the mississip.” jonathan rolls his eyes at argyle’s attempt at a rhyme and kicks his feet up on the dash.

argyle looks into the backseat as he turns a corner, addressing the boys in the van. “am i right, little brochachos?�� lucas and max giggle, but the laughter everyone else has had throughout the ride dies down. mike’s eyes catch el’s, and they laugh nervously—they’d been each other’s first kiss, of course, and only recently split. dustin clocks it and speaks up.

“awkward, argyle,” he shouts over the music.

“what was that, little bro?”

“awkward, dude! it’s awkward back here.”

argyle smiles knowingly. “oh, i get it. not everyone here’s had their first kiss. take your time, little bros. let the loveboat swim to you.”

dustin rolls his eyes. “no, no, we’re not babies. everyone here’s definitely had their first kiss.”

mike swallows. does that mean—?

he looks at will, who’s separated from him only by dustin. as he notices will’s straight-ahead blank stare and nervous fidgeting at the topic of conversation, he also notices how the glow of the old streetlights they pass by outline will’s face perfectly, yellowish flashes glinting just over the slope of his nose each time they pass one, and he looks like something out of a movie and wow, mike really needs to get a grip, because this is getting ridiculous, and if it weren’t for argyle’s purple haze and the sips he’s taking of his sixth wine cooler of the night, he’d be having a full blown panic attack right now.

dustin continues. “it’s just… some of us have our first kisses back here. with us.”

“oh,” argyle says. then, looking vaguely into the backseat, his eyes widen: “OH.”

“yeah,” dustin mimics, “‘oh.’”

“sorry about that, my dudes. young love is a craaazy thing.”

max, lucas and el giggle from the way-back. “oh, it worked out for some of us. like, really, really worked out!” lucas shouts. max playfully taps him on the arm. “hey, how do you know i’m not just with you for the free ice cream?”

“i never said it was free!” lucas laughs. el tries to hold back her laugh for a faux deadpan, but her mouth twitches into a smile: “it’s true, max. he told me you have to pay him back for all of it. we’ve been keeping track.” she bursts out giggling in the end, biting into a chicken strip.

mike smiles. the three of them sound incredibly happy, and for maybe the first time ever he feels like a normal teenager, because this is what it’s about, isn’t it? fast food, your stoned older friends doing the designated driving, empty seagram’s bottles rattling around and more being opened because the hawkins police are still too scared to go outside at night after monsters invaded the town, your ex-girlfriend in the back, talking about shit like first kisses and laughing through the painful awkwardness and staring at the pretty boy on the other side of the van because you’re single and you can and—

shit, mike’s too buzzed for this. will would never—god, will would be so uncomfortable if he knew mike was staring at him, thinking about him in this way.

mike stares down at his near-empty drink. something in this conversation had sent a chill down his spine, what was it? everything’s a little fuzzy.

they hit a speed bump and he remembers—will’s had his first kiss. at least, according to dustin.

why wouldn’t he tell him? when did will like a girl? he knows it wasn’t angela like he originally thought, because it turns out she was a raging asshole, so who was it?

was it even a girl?

mike shakes his head. no, no, we can’t start thinking like that, he tells himself. you know how this ends. it ends with awkward breakups with your girlfriend two weeks ago and she pity-smiles at you because she can tell your heart is living somewhere dark and wrong and then inviting your best friend over to play nintendo that very same night because god what is wrong with you, can’t you give it one day, can’t you control yourself—it ends with pulling your best friend into a tight hug and thanking him for coming over and being there for you and wondering if he might like boys and when he goes to leave and he latches the door behind him you feel like a piece of you has been severed, like you just died, because suddenly you can’t live without him, and you’ve got it bad, in a way you didn’t even know boys could have it for other boys, in a way that feels so right and incredibly wrong.

they pull up to the byers’ new house in hawkins.

they’ve elected to spend the rest of the night goofing around downstairs in the new basement, something joyce and will and jonathan spent all week sprucing up when they moved in (despite hop’s insistence that he can reach that or he can hammer in that nail, they wouldn’t let him help because it’s theirs) because they’re so damn proud of it, never having been able to afford a house with two stories and a basement before. will beamed when he invited everyone over for the first time.

“chez byers, little dudes,” argyle announces, jonathan reaching over to turn down the music as they park, not wanting to wake joyce and hop. but as they walk in, argyle jostles the kids. “hey guys, sorry again about the, uhhh, extreme awkwardness on the ride home. i didn’t realize everyone’s first kiss was in the backseat. uber awkward.”

dustin laughs. “it’s cool, man. besides, not everyone’s first kiss was back there. my girlfriend, suzie—oh, you’ve met her. she lives in utah. she was my first kiss.”

argyle smiles fondly. “ah, suzie. sister of the goddess. how could i forget?” mike and will trail behind them, exchanging a glance and stifling a laugh, remembering how argyle fell in… crush at first sight with eden. god, that whole day, whole trip, was a fever dream.

argyle whips his head around. “and what about you, baby byers? where’s the lucky lad or lady?”

mike’s heart skips a beat. someone just acknowledged that a boy—will—might’ve had his first kiss with… well, another boy. that it was a possibility.

but it’s just argyle, and he’s always dreaming up utopian worlds where there’s no government and everyone eats garlic bread and plays guitar and smokes ganja all day, so it’s not anything to take seriously and get his hopes up about… right?

will’s eyes dart around, making eye contact with everyone except mike. he smiles softly. “oh, it was nothing. um. just someone in california.” will’s pace picks up, like he doesn’t want to be left in the dust next to mike.

but suddenly, mike feels something rising in his throat, and he’s pushing ahead of everyone and running into the byers’ downstairs bathroom, barely making it, and before he knows it, he’s bent over the toilet, retching, max holding his long hair back, and looking down at the contents of the bowl saying “yeah, we’re gonna need reinforcements”, will fetching him a water and a spare toothbrush and some clean clothes.

as mike comes down, dizzy, his nausea hasn’t been alleviated. he doesn’t want to believe it’s real; will has kissed somebody.

###

the Party sits in a circle in the basement, passing around water and 7up, munching on doritos to absorb the sugar in an attempt prevent a hangover, but somehow, mike doesn’t think he’ll avoid it. “buddy, you drank way more than everyone else,” dustin says when mike insists he “didn’t drink that much” and “has no idea why he threw up.”

they idly play a few card games and put on a movie that no one pays attention to, and around 1am, el announces that she’s going up to her room because she’s exhausted, and lucas and max bid their goodnights, yawning, following el up the stairs, still whispering and laughing like usual.

dustin follows suit. “robin’s got a band recital tomorrow morning that steve and i promised her we’d make it to. you guys are invited, by the way, but i have a feeling you’ll be out of commission, wheeler,” dustin snorts as he claps mike on the shoulder. “see you later, will. get some rest, you guys. drink a lot of water.”

he shuts the basement door, leaving just will and mike sitting on the couch. mike moves to get up. “i guess i should—“

will laughs at him and gently tugs mike’s wrist, pulling him to sit back down. “mike, hell no. you’re not biking or walking anywhere. you’re staying here.”

“i—“ mike doesn’t protest much, because he knows will’s right about his current state of being (like always). he’s tipsy and tired and vaguely nauseous and he wouldn’t fare well to try to and go anywhere right now. “yeah. should i, uh… is your living room okay? like, to sleep? i don’t want to wake anyone up.”

will’s acting a little quiet and jumpy; mike fears will’s caught onto his stares and frankly ridiculous obsession with him tonight. “oh, no, you’re good to stay down here. there’s a blanket behind you. actually, i’ll...” he clears his throat. “i should be getting to bed.” he gets up and smiles softly. “need anything before i go?” mike shakes his head. “all right. well, uh, there’s water and snacks in the kitchen, help yourself. night, mike.”

he starts to go up the stairs, but mike stops him. “will. wait.”

when will turns around, he’s not sure what his plan is; he just knows that he doesn’t want will to leave. not yet. mike fidgets with the messy bun at the back of his head, tightening it and tucking in stray hairs.

“um,” he continues, and will walks back toward him. “was it true?”

something changes in will’s eyes. “was what true?”

“did you have your first kiss? in california? with…” a girl? a boy? “with someone?”

will sighs and laughs a little. “look, mike, we’re drunk and…”

“yeah, i mean, we don’t have to talk about it, i just…” mike’s voice gets quiet. “i wondered why you never told me. i mean, all that time we spent together, on the road in the van… i’m surprised it didn’t come up. that’s all.”

will’s hands come up to rub his eyes, and he lets out a small yawn. he comes to sit next to mike on the couch and puts his head in his hands. he looks up and over at mike. “promise you won’t tell the others?” and suddenly it’s a lot like halloween years ago and mike’s heart clenches. all at once, he’s sober as he’s ever been.

“yeah, of course. of course i won’t tell anyone.” mike’s voice is soft and quiet.

“okay. so the truth is…” mike’s heart pounds in anticipation. “the truth is i’ve never kissed anyone.”

“what?” mike is surprised his voice comes out so disbelieving, a strange mix of relief and surprise. “no way.” he can’t believe no one’s wanted to kiss will yet. i mean, just look at him. i’m sure he’s got girls—and, mike’s pulse quickens, boys—lining up around the block in lenora.

will sits back against the cushions and shrugs, hands in his lap. “alas… it’s true.” mike and will laugh.

“why didn’t you say that, before? in the van, or… to argyle?”

“you know why.”

it’s true; mike does know. will doesn’t like to be treated like he’s sensitive or breakable. if he’d told everyone he hadn’t had his first kiss yet, he’d be met with a chorus of “awww”s and “you’re a catch, you’ll meet the right person eventually”s. mike knows will would hate that.

mike nods. “yeah. i do.”

will sighs. “yeah, it’s just… i don’t know. it’s stupid.”

but now, mike is invested. “no, it’s not stupid. whatever it is. you don’t have to tell me, but i know it’s not stupid.”

will smiles softly. “it’s just… i want it to be special, you know?”

mike suddenly feels very aware that he’s wearing will’s borrowed t-shirt and sweatpants, and that he can taste will’s toothpaste that he borrowed on the back of his tongue, and that he’s in this room, right now, one leg tucked underneath him and the other planted on will’s basement carpet.

“like i said,” will continues, “it’s stupid.”

mike touches will’s shoulder before he can help it. “no. no, it’s not. like, at all.”

will doesn’t shy away from the touch. mike’s happy they’re back to this, now, after a full year of tense arguments and miscommunication between them.

“yeah, i mean… max and lucas, they’re special together. they really love each other. and you and el…” will looks like he just remembered, and gives mike a sad look. “i’m sorry. i know it’s a… fresh wound. but it was still special, you know? el’s amazing. it’s like that girl argyle talked about from when he was 12 or whatever.” they start laughing. “you’ll never forget that el was your first kiss.”

“i—“ i wish it was you, mike almost says, and god he’s stupid, that was so close. i wish it was you and i realized that tonight as soon as argyle opened his mouth about first kisses and i looked over at you and you were positively glowing in the shitty streetlights of this stupid town, shining brighter than anyone who’s ever been in this place.

he remembers what will told him in the back of the van in march: like ripping off a bandaid. so he says something, hopefully not too incriminating, because if he doesn’t release some of the pressure, he’s pretty sure he’s going to die.

“hawkins doesn’t deserve you.” will’s glance shoots over to mike, and their eyes lock. mike brings his other leg up to the couch, shaking, sitting crisscrossed, pushing the words out even though they’re so, so stuck. “really, it doesn’t, and… and there’s no one in this stupid town that deserves you.”

will doesn’t say anything, just watches mike intently.

“so if you didn’t have your first kiss in lenora…” mike tries to lighten the mood again, but he doesn’t think it works. “i don’t know if i ever want you to, at least not until you get out of hawkins, because jesus, have you met some of these people?” mike gestures vaguely out into the world above them, outside of the safety and sacredness of will’s basement.

his shoulders start to shake with laughter, and will’s do too, and max’s hair tie starts falling out of mike’s hair, and when it falls on the sofa between them will snatches it and shoots it at him, mike feigns an “ow!” and they don’t stop laughing because mike’s right, hawkins is such an absolute piece of shit, these people royally suck and no one understands that better than his best friend, and if any of these wastoids put their lips on will byers, he might have to kill them.

in their fits of laughter, mike accidentally sits on the remote, which both hits play and blasts the volume and the goonies starts playing at maximum loudness and will laughs “shit, shit” as he pushes mike aside looking for the remote, and when he finally finds it and clicks the tv off, he’s hovering close to mike, who’s still crisscrossed.

will looks hard into his eyes. all mike can do is stare back. someone needs to do something or else—

“hey!” will is tickling him on his sides, then under his arms when mike puts his hands up in mock self defense, and he has to get back at him so he pulls will onto the floor, both of them landing with a thump, and they push at each other and grab each other’s wrists and try to attack the other with a stray tickle here and there until will grabs mike’s face and puts a thumb over his mouth and says “shhh, shhh, my mom and hop, they’re sleeping” as both their faces are wet with teary laughter.

“also,” will continues, letting go when he realizes he’s still holding onto mike’s face, “you’re wrong.”

mike’s brows furrow—what?

“about hawkins.”

mike snorts. “no, i’m pretty sure hawkins sucks. like, really bad.”

“no, not that—it does, it totally does. it’s just that…” will sucks in a breath, looking at the floor now, mumbling. “you live here. in hawkins.”

mike doesn’t let himself believe that will is headed where it sounds like he’s headed. “i sure do, and i totally suck,” mike laughs.

will doesn’t, and his eyes turn soft. “hey, mike, that’s not funny. you don’t suck.”

“everyone had to go home because i couldn’t handle my liquor and i threw up.”

will rolled his eyes. “first of all, it wasn’t liquor. second… cut yourself some slack. when’s the last time any of us have gotten to be teenagers? like real, obnoxious teenagers?”

mike wonders how will was hearing inside his head earlier. he smiles to himself, fingertips fiddling with the ankle of the socks he borrowed from will. “never.”

“we can start now.”

“oh, i think jonathan got us off to a good start earlier with that 12-pack. and the second one. and the third one.”

will cracks a smile and blinks, long and slow. “but mike… i’m missing something. something i’ve always wanted to do.”

mike tries not to get distracted by will’s pretty eyelashes and frowns. “what is it? beer pong? because i played that with nancy one time and it is totally not as fun as it looks.”

will chuckles. “no, mike. i’ve played beer pong, actually, and i’m like, super good at it.”

mike goes red in the face a little. why is that attractive? he’s so done for.

“you played beer pong without me?” mike jests, poking will in the cheek.

“mike.”

“will.”

“i want you to kiss me.”

mike’s sure his heart has stopped.

“will…” mike gulps. “it’s really okay you haven’t had your first kiss. i mean, it’s nothing special.”

will’s mouth drops open, playfully. “michael! you are in big trouble. i’m going to tell el you said that.”

mike shakes his head. “no, no, it’s just like… it’s not a big deal. it’s easy. you don’t need to be in a… hurry to get kissed. or kiss someone.” his heart races again. will kissing someone. how would it be, if they kissed? would he take the lead because he’s a little experienced? or would will, because he requested it? or—

stop it, mike tells himself. he doesn’t really want this. it’s not happening.

“then show me.”

mike’s eyes go wider than they’ve possibly ever been. “i— huh?”

“if it’s not a big deal, then why can’t i just have my first kiss with you right here, right now, in my basement? since it’s not a big deal.” will glances at his lips, and the boldness sends a rush of something brand new through mike. he thinks of how lenora must’ve changed will, boosted his confidence; how he can’t believe he’s got it in him, but how well it suits him all the same. like this is who will was always meant to be. “show me how much it doesn’t mean.”

the words force themselves out of mike’s throat the same way the wine-cooler remains had done earlier. “i can’t.” kissing you means everything to me, so to kiss you now, when you think it means nothing, would be a lie. and if it’s the only time i ever get to kiss you, i don’t think i’ll survive after that.

will looks confused, a little hurt. he starts to lean back, distance himself from mike.

“no, will, i— i can’t do it because it would be a lie.”

“mike, i get it. i’m sorry, i just thought—“

“listen. please.” he’s got to do this. he knows things will never be the same again and that will is probably going to kick him out of his house after this, but he has to show will that he didn’t get rejected just now. he’s perfectly willing to throw his whole heart on the line to show him that. “if i say it’s not a big deal, and then i kiss you? that’s… that’s a lie. because it is a big deal to me. you are a big deal to me.”

will blinks, eyes soft. “mike…”

but the dam has broken, and mike continues. “will, it’s not…” i’m head over heels for you. it’s pathetic, actually. “i know you don’t feel the same way. don’t even say it, i get it, i just can’t kiss you if you…”

“i don’t feel the same way as what?” mike feels tears start to prick the corners of his eyes. will notices and wipes them away with his thumb as they start to fall. this is startlingly tender in a way they haven’t approached before, not since they were really young. “hey, it’s okay. i’m here. what… what did you mean by, you know i don’t feel the same?”

mike is shaking his head, looking away. “it’s stupid. i can’t even say it. it’s so stupid.”

“what i’m hearing…” will lowers his voice as though someone could hear them and get them in trouble, even down here. he inhales sharply. “i can’t believe i’m saying this, but what i’m hearing is that you… like me. and i’m sure that’s not what you mean,” will chuckles, “so i’m going to need you to speak up—”

mike looks up and meets will’s eyes. will really doesn’t get it. “no, that’s it. that’s the truth.”

will just blinks. “what?”

“that’s the truth. i like you. a lot. too much. and… and i know we’re both guys and that’s not a real thing but… will, i can’t stop thinking about you.”

he expects will to cut him off, but he does the opposite. he sits, listening, open.

“when you left my house the night of the breakup? i just knew. i just knew that it was you. that you were everything to me. and i know you aren’t…” into boys. like me. “and we can’t… but i just needed you to know that i would never, ever turn down kissing you, not in a million years, except that doing this knowing you don’t feel that too is… shit, that would hurt. i don’t know how i’d come back from that.”

will’s eyes glisten with impending tears and his mouth is slightly open and mike thinks he’ll actually pass out if will doesn’t say something, anything. so he keeps talking, trying to give will something better to respond to.

“and i know that it—i know it made me such a shitty boyfriend to el because i wasn’t thinking about her like that anymore, no matter how hard i tried, and… god, she commissioned that painting, and when you told me it was from her?” mike scrubs a hand over his face. “i didn’t feel a thing. it’s so selfish, but i… i wanted you to feel all of that for me. i wanted you to need me.”

will starts shaking his head, opens his mouth to speak but mike cuts him off.

“i know, i know, it’s so fucked up and i didn’t mean to hurt your sister like that. god, will, i’m so fucking sorry—“

“mike. look at me.”

he does.

“what if i told you,” will seems to be approaching the point with caution, “that i’ve lied to you before?”

mike looks confused. he runs a hand through his hair, whole body giving little anxious jerks with each movement. “that’s hard to believe. i mean, my first thought would be, what is there that you couldn’t tell me the truth about?”

“mike…” will takes a deep breath in. “el, she—she didn’t commission the painting.”

oh. mike’s face falls. “what—so why’d you paint it? why would you tell me that? i take it you were just looking out for el.”

will shakes his head, looking almost irritated. “no, no. it was… for a selfish reason, actually. that i painted it. and that i lied.”

mike can’t do anything but watch in anticipation.

“what i said about el, that day… about needing you and not wanting to lose you and pushing you away because she was so, so scared… el… she never said any of that.”

mike’s eyes go wide. “you missed me.” will nods earnestly. “why wouldn’t you just say that? you’re my best friend, will. there’s no reason to lie about that.” but as soon as he finishes the sentence, mike knows. mike knows the only reason someone would lie about something like that, and he’s sober and more awake than ever but he absolutely cannot wrap his brain about it no matter how hard he tries. there’s no way.

“will. there’s no way.” will reaches out and rests a hand on mike’s knee. he just nods. “will, you’re fucking with me. you’re just fucking with me right now.” he pokes will in the shoulder, shakes him a little, making sure he’s real.

will just laughs and nods again. his smile goes wide. mike couldn’t even function right now if someone paid him.

will starts. “i’m sorry that i—“

“i’m sorry that you lied, too.” will looks taken aback by this. “imagine how much time we…” mike shakes his head. “im sorry. is this real right now? are you really here?”

and he feels will’s hand on the back of his neck and will’s voice in his ear saying “you tell me,” and then he feels warm lips pressed to his, and for a while he’s frozen because how is this happening, and it’s the most simple kiss in the world but wow it feels perfect, and he never wants it to end.

he reaches forward and nervously slides an arm around will’s waist, pulling him as close as you can get when you’re both sitting crisscrossed on the floor, when you’re sitting on the floor with your best friend who wants you too, and mike can hardly breathe as they break apart.

“see?” mike murmurs against will’s lips, confidence restored. “just a first kiss. no big deal.”

that same night there’s a second. a third. a fourth. a twenty-seventh.

#byler #*stubbornly refuses to post on ao3 bc i’m on mobile & very lazy*#idk what happened here this is so long #yes i implied elumax because i love them #el is super supportive of mike btw. he’s just feeling insecure in this fic so that’s why he thinks she was being vaguely homophobic LOL #my repressed boy #el is happier than ever now that she has max back #tw emetophobia #byler fanfic #byler ficlet

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incorrectsibunaquotes · 1 year

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AU: Joy is the Chosen One & Patricia is her Osirian

Okay this is based off this post of mine, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot since. This is just gonna be bullet points and fragmented ideas, so if someone wants to write something along these lines fully, feel free! This goes of any of my other AUs, like my Fabian is Victor’s protege AU. Basically what I’m saying is if anyone talented wants to get creative, I’m very much cheering you on!

Anyway, without further ado, here is the AU:

Right around the same time as Mr. Sweet is gathering up the Descendants, he comes to the realization that Joy Mercer is in fact the Chosen One. Born on the right day, the right time— all of it.

Without clueing Victor into his role as the Seeker (since that’s none of his business at the time), Mr. Sweet informs his Society leader that he’s found the Chosen One.

So when the four students on the Candy Scholarship get to school, they’re all four placed in Anubis House: Joy, Patricia, Alfie, and Jerome.

Victor is beyond delighted to have the Paragon in his sights only a few years before the Chosen Hour, and he makes sure to keep her close by and unharmed from anyone who might want to exploit the Chosen One (only he’s allowed to do that, thanks).

Rufus is long gone at this point, though of course, he’s just in hiding. But the Society assumes he’s dead since he hasn’t come sniffing around in quite some time.

Right away, Joy and Patricia are thick as thieves, and the adults take notice of Patricia’s protective nature immediately.

They aren’t positive Patricia’s the Osirian— there is no bloodline marker or any special indicator to confirm or deny it one way or the other, after all. And the Osirian is typically a masculine figure— but Victor has his suspicions, keeping a watchful eye over both of them.

Naturally, disaster strikes everywhere the girls go, but they don’t give a singular shit, because growing up in a boarding school far away from your blood family, you tend to forge a different sort of bond.

Joy was a sensitive child, and before she became as popular as she was pre-S1, she faced constant ridicule from the other students for things like carrying a stuffed bunny with her to school.

Patricia got in so many fights on Joy’s behalf, it was only by the grace of her future role in the eclipse ceremony she wasn’t expelled and thrown in juvenile detention.

Both the girls have vivid dreams and nightmares, but because Sarah and Rufus are still alive, neither of them have fully come into their destined roles.

Despite oddities here and there, Joy and Patricia function as normal pre-teens most of their school life. They went to town together, watched movies together, signed up for the same classes, painted each other’s nails, shared secrets, and did all the normal things normal best friends do.

Of course, as the mythology states, if the Chosen One and Osirian are in close proximity to each other, trouble is sure to follow. A burst lightbulb here, a small fire there. One time, Amber’s curling iron short circuited and blew every fuse at the school after Joy and Patricia used it for a school dance. Little things that could be written off as coincidence, but when combined, put the Society on edge.

Until one day, two weeks into a new school term…

The Chosen Hour fast approaches, and there are whispers that Rufus has resurfaced. Though skeptical, the Society doesn’t want to dangle the carrot that is Joy Mercer, the Paragon, out in the open for Rufus to kidnap, so the Society does it first. Joy is removed from school, and erased from the records without a trace.

Mr. Sweet thinks they ought to inform Patricia, just in case she does happen to be Joy’s divine protector (he’s still not convinced his own son isn’t the Osirian, but he doesn’t tell Victor that).

Victor orders him and the other Society members to tell Patricia no such thing. He does it to see if his long-held theory was correct, and because he knows that if she is the Osirian, Patricia would do everything in her power to thwart the building of the Cup.

So when Nina arrives, Patricia is going ballistic, because why does she feel so lost and confused? She can just tell that Joy is afraid, tell that she needs her, but she can’t find Joy. And now, here’s this random girl who seems to have taken Joy’s place.

Nina still finds Sarah, and because Sarah can sense that Nina is just a kind, pure-of-heart girl (with a birth date very similar to the actual Chosen One), Sarah entrusts the locket to Nina with the instruction to find the one who can use it.

Meanwhile, Patricia is searching high and low, met with increasingly bullshit excuses as to where her best friend has gone.

She comes into contact with Rufus, who immediately clocks that this girl is exactly like him and can lead him to the Paragon.

He gains her trust and begins to slowly but surely manipulate her into doing his dirty work.

Patricia and Nina actually become cool way faster in this AU because the moment, Patricia touches the locket, it starts glowing. Nina’s like “oh, damn I guess this is yours.”

A lot of the same exact stuff that happens in S1 happens in this AU except that Patricia is the one able to use the locket. Sibuna still forms, and Nina still is de facto leader since she’s good at getting shit done and is slightly unhinged, but Patricia is one hundred percent the brawn of the operation.

She still gets kidnapped, still has all those crappy things happen to her, but now there’s a tiny voice in the back of her head guiding her through the motions.

Rufus mentions something about how their destinies align, and Patricia is like “bruh you’re crazy” but something in her knows it’s not as bonkers as it sounds.

Flash forward, Joy buys them time by very slowly building the Cup of Ankh, and Fabian and Alfie pull the same trick, so it all works out relatively the same.

Patricia and Joy are the ones to hide the Cup.

Victor is now certain that Patricia is an Osirian-to-be, and he fears what Rufus still being alive out in the world now means for Joy. She’s a full Chosen One, but her own Osirian isn’t able to fully protect her until Rufus is dead.

In the S2 plot, Joy functions as more of a Noa type character— aka: she stays the hell out of Sibuna stuff. She and Nina are still fighting over Fabian, but there’s less hurt there because there isn’t any bitterness about Joy being kidnapped for nothing, since she actually is the Chosen One.

Still, they don’t get along all that much.

Patricia is the one to get targeted by Senkhara first, because she goes to check on the Cup. She demands to know who the Chosen One is, and of course Patricia is like “lol no kys”

So she gets marked, of course, and Senkhara hates this petulant Osirian bitch. Like seriously, why doesn’t she do what she asks? Doesn’t she know her life is on the line? So she curses Piper into a coma lol. That’ll keep Patricia in line.

Nina, being the team player she is, agrees to pretend to be the Chosen One to spare Joy for Patricia’s sake. Senkhara believes it and marks her too, which of course means that Fabian, Amber, and Alfie soon follow.

A lot of the same nonsense happens Sibuna-wise, just with Patricia getting her shit mostly rocked by Senkhara (and Nina catches smoke too)

Knowing now that Eddie is safe to reconnect with, Mr. Sweet has his son enroll at school.

Patricia and Eddie are immediately beefing for all the same reasons as canon.

It’s harder for Patricia to juggle that with Sibuna, though, considering her increased role.

She still doesn’t know what an Osirian is though. She just knows that Joy is the Chosen One, and she’d rather die than see her hurt.

Still, she and Eddie are constantly bickering (flirting), and Joy’s oblivious ass is obsessed with this ship.

Patricia and Eddie get together way earlier on in the timeline of the season, after he gets brought into the Sibuna nonsense almost right away when he’s the one to save Patricia from falling down the chasm.

So now all of Sibuna (plus Eddie) is trying to find the Mask, while keeping Senkhara away from Joy, which works for a while until it doesn’t.

Joy discovers everything that Nina’s done for her once Sibuna asks her to help with the Senet game. (Patricia was very against clueing her in at all, but she was outvoted)

Joy feels super bad for her treatment toward Nina and you KNOW she put aside the baggage and was like “we are besties now and I’m gonna save you even if you totally stole my boyfriend.”

Anyway, a lot of the same stuff happens, but Senkhara discovers that Joy is the actual Chosen One and makes her wear the Mask.

Nina takes the hit for Fabian in this, and Patricia uses the crown to un-possess Joy.

Rufus rocks up, and Eddie steps in to beat the shit out of the guy who kidnapped his girlfriend. Eventually tho Rufus overpowers him and puts on the Mask.

Bye, Rufus!

Piper’s awake again! Happily ever after.

Holy shit! Now Patricia’s a full Osirian, and Joy is a full Chosen One! Wowza. Now what?

Well, bad shit starts happening more frequently. Nothing crazy, but more blown fuses, more burst lightbulbs, more small fires.

Mr. Sweet is panicking bc he needs both Joy and Patricia for this ceremony, but everyone knows that trouble always follows a Chosirian duo.

Maybe nothing bad will happen tho…?

Anyway, Patricia and Eddie don’t break up, and Nina and Amber stick around. Basically all the same stuff happens in S3 as it does in canon except Patricia’s the Osirian, and Sibuna is unified from the jump. Joy stays in Sibuna in this AU too.

KT and Patricia are fast friends, and Joy and KT hit it off immediately.

The eclipse ceremony is unsuccessfully thwarted, and RFS is as shitty as ever.

Eddie gets captured as a Sinner immediately because of course he does, and he is very much the same as Sinner!Patricia, except he targets both Nina and KT to destabilize two romantic relationships in the group (and also attack the Chosen One where it hurts: her gf)

Nina also gets captured as a Sinner, who catches Fabian, who catches Amber. Oops.

Now it’s Sibuna (Joy, Patricia, Alfie, and KT) vs Team Evil (Frobisher, Victor, Denby, Eddie, Nina, Amber, and Fabian).

World is saved eventually, but boy does it almost go so wrong.

Anyway, TOR is the same but Patricia “dies” instead, which means that Joy is officially the final Chosen One.

Everything ends pretty chill I guess. This got very lackluster toward the end I’m sorry there’s so much to cover

#can you tell I got lazy toward the end #anyway i feel like this would be more fun as a whole long form story but that would be a lot of work for me so I’m not doing that lol #tess writes #house of anubis #house of anubis au

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