I caught feelings, and now I'm dying.

Your gay dogs have reached the Revolutionary Girl Utena -level of yuri, where the dogs are yuri so obviously clearly except they aren't.

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the age old question: is this entp female flirting or talking? we may never know.

i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans

"The two protagonists seemed overly familiar with each other" Xie Lian! We were all there for the Banyue arc!

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Some headcanons <33

Edit: i want to formally apologize for calling Pablito cis, i was wrong.

Congrats on the coming out to your therapist!!!

she was so lovely about it even though i was a mess trying to find the words to say, god it was lovely to just. be accepted like that

fuck me man i am not doing good

I think it's important to let guys be gender non conforming without telling them they're a girl, cause actually misgendering people is still shit even when you are pro trans. "You're a girl, an egg waiting to crack, and that's ok" how about you are a boy and a man and it's still ok if you want to do something that doesn't align with traditional ideals of your gender. You can still be he/him¹ in a skirt and makeup.

Edits:

¹ People in the notes are correct, He/Him does not exclusively mean male. However in my defence this was a personal rant. I did not expect it to break containment quite this much so this is litterally just first draft brain dribble. I stand by the principle that gender is personal expression and not a dictation. He/Him ladies and She/Her men can do what they want with their gender. And they can also rock traditionally feminine styled fashion if they want to.

TERF's however can fuck off. This is a pro-Trans space, and this post was inspired by watching people be so pro-trans they reinvent the gender binary, which is in large part due to over enthusiastic Cis people.

Why has this post been iced?

Cause it has been going since August 2023 and I'm fucking sick of being told I'm a transphobe for saying respect the pronouns people give you even when they're wearing fucking pink eyeshadow.

Why is it that people think they're entitled to know your dead name?? It's dead for a reason bitch lay the fuck off

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

AITA for asking my boyfriend to wear lingerie?

Wow that sounds really fucking weird and this is weird but anyway

I (31M) am dating a guy (29M) and have been for about 4 years now, and we share an apartment. He's so beyond perfect and I am insanely lucky, and I'm planning on proposing to him this June.

Important to note that he is FTM. I am not, I'm very cis. He doesn't dress very masculinely, he likes dresses and skirts and stuff, which I like because he looks fucking hot in them and it makes him happy to dress like that. I haven't ever seen him wear ladies' underwear or anything like that before, only boxer briefs. I didn't really realize that till after this conflict though.

Lately I was in... a certain store for adults, picking up some undisclosed items, and noticed some lingerie that I thought would look really good on him. I ended up buying it as a gift.

When I showed it to him that night though his face just fell. He started tearing up and said he really didn't want to wear it and that he felt really insulted that I'd ask him to wear something like that. I apologized right off the bat, but I said was confused and I told him that he wears fem clothes the time. He told me that women's underwear made him feel really dysphoric and the lingerie had this thing, I forgot what he called it, but it basically makes the breasts more prominent like a wire or something (I grew up with two equally cis brothers and a mom who never talked about any of this so cut me some slack). He got top surgery years before he met me so I'm not sure what he's talking about.

Anyway. I apologized and put it back in the bag, told him I'd return it and I intend to. We ended up going to bed without having sex like we planned. He didn't touch me at all all night and didn't kiss me goodbye before he went to work the next morning.

I want to be very clear. I'm not trans, and I would never challenge him on what makes him dysphoric. But I do want him to explain what upsets him so I understand. I want to know what he's thinking so he doesn't just shut down on me.

One last thing. I know this is the drastic actions website but I don't want to see any of the "break up" comments or any sort of slander against my boyfriend. I love that boy and I am going to marry him if he'll have me.

Was I TA for getting him a gift? I wanted to surprise him but it did not turn out well. I would also appreciate any advice, especially from other trans guys. Thank you all.

What are these acronyms?

I'm OK with losing my childhood home and nearly everything in it :) I'm just shattering like glass

one of the things that i loved about barbie (2023) that i think a lot of the posts making fun of male-written reviews miss is that, though the movie presents itself as a commentary on the patriarchy and sexism, the message at the core of the film isn't actually limited to being about (cis) women. it's about anyone who is Other.

i went to go see the movie on thursday afternoon before all the big midnight premieres, and the theater was still packed. there wasn't an empty seat in the entire theater. i had a seat at the end of the row, which i had picked out in a faint (futile) hope that no one would sit next to me. thirty seconds before the trailers started, a family of about 10 black people walked in and split up, presumably because they'd only just bought their tickets and there were no longer 10 seats together. the dad and the son, who was maybe a few years younger than me in his early-20s, a good foot and a half taller than me, and who i recognized as one of the football players at the local university, ended up taking the two empty seats next to me with the linebacker in the seat right next to me. and that was pretty much the last time i thought of them until the last twenty minutes of the movie.

see, in the last twenty minutes of the movie, america ferrera makes an impassioned speech about not just the limitations that male-dominated society puts on women but the limitations that women put on themselves in order to survive in said male-dominated society. it's about the contradictions that we're subjected to--you can't be too much, but you can't be too little either. you have to lift each other up but you're also in constant competition with other women for the shredded dregs of respect that men have left over for us. you can't say yes to a man because then you're a whore but you can't say no because then you're a prude. it was passionate and bitter and furious and it had every woman in the theater, myself included, in tears.

and in the silence of the theater following america ferrera's plea for barbie not to make herself less just so that society isn't threatened by her, the linebacker sitting next to me said fervently, "i feel that."

it brought everything to a screeching halt. now i'm a white woman, and though i'm fat and nowhere near as gorgeous as margot robbie, from the very first trailer, it was obvious that this was going to be a movie for me. and if done right, it was going to be a movie for all women (and i would argue that it was). but the thing that it also did right was that though the surface of the message was about women making themselves lesser, the core was that it was for anyone who makes themselves lesser to fit in. yeah, it's for women who are trying to fit into a male-dominated society, but it's also for bipoc who are trying to fit into a white-dominated society. it's for trans people trying to fit into a cis-dominated society. it's for gay people trying to fit into a heterosexual-dominated society. it's for anyone who's been Othered and has to shrink themselves in a desperate attempt to survive.

i love the posts making fun of male-written reviews that are butthurt that this movie isn't for them just as much as the next person. but i think it's important that we don't forget that those are representative of the people in power, the people that could never understand this message. barbie is for me, yeah, but it isn't just for me. it's for my trans friend who is six feet tall and has a beard and wears pink dresses every single day because they make her feel pretty. it's for my labmate who could practically be a barbie herself and irritates me every time she talks about thinphobia but also can't find someone who wants to be with her because she's brilliant and not because she's beautiful.

it's for the black linebacker who sat next to me in the theater and felt heard when a fictional character in a movie told him not to make himself smaller just to fit society's standards.

Post in question:

A: post doesn't mention pedophiles or zoophiles at all, but does mention furries and kinksters. Are we really equating furries to zoophiles and kinksters to pedophiles in the year of 2023?

B: even bad humans deserve human rights because otherwise it's really easy to falsely claim someone is a bad human to take away their rights. That is fascism 101.

C: not that it matters but my blog name hilariously has nothing to do with doberman butts and everything to do with a nickname convention a friend of mine had in the years before I started in the breed. They called me Jazbutt because my username at the time was Jazi. I told them I was getting a doberman and wanted to make a blog but couldn't think of a good URL. They said they would call my doberman a doberbutt. I thought it was funny and decided to use it as a blog name. I know that the people engaging in this behavior don't know The Deep Lore of this blog but like. It's actually not that hard to find this explination as it's one I've had asked of me for years.

D: this is a dog blog. It's all dog aesthetics because it's about dogs. Specifically mostly about my dogs. Specifically mostly about my doberman Creed who died in 2021 and it was too painful for me to continue trying to exclusively be a dog blog while I grieved him so I started just posting about whatever was on my mind. Then I got a doberman again in 2022 and another a few months ago and started posting more just about my dogs unless I spot something interesting on my dash or in my tracked tags. There's nothing nefarious here because I'm all about my dogs because competition dog sports are a long-held special interest of mine and I used to be a professional dog trainer. Dogs were my job until early 2022. I got paid to think about nothing except dogs for close to a decade. I decided to blog about it and stopped when my reason for blogging about dogs died and I switched professions.

E: this type of ask being spread around is exactly why I'm quiet about what I do like sexually because I don't think it belongs on a dog blog but also because too many people are interested in completely ruining lives off of one bad faith take. No thank you. It was bad when the straights were doing it to us and it's still bad now when it's happening as an intra-community conflict. The only people who get to know what I like are people I fuck. If I'm talking about it on a public blog, safe to say it's not a sexual interest of mine. You can continue to make assumptions if you'd like but you're way off base.