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lloydfrontera · 10 months

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DAMN THE EMPEROR PICKED THE WRONG TIME TO TRY TO BE AN OVERPROTECTIVE WORRIED DAD LMAO. THIS IS LIKE IF ARCOS WAS LIKE "hey lloyd u always get in trouble/danger bc u try to build stuff everywhere, why don't u stop that" 😂

it is also so shitty of him it's very funny to me jakshdka

like damn, your son who spent his entire life so sick he could barely get out of bed on a good day has seemingly found a purpose in life besides lying around waiting to die in opening a clinic to heal patients for free, has poured his entire soul into making it work, has literally risked his life in an effort to keep it running, is demonstrably healthier and more driven than he's ever been and is accomplishing pretty amazing feats that always seem to be related to that clinic of his.

y'know what would be a pretty good thing to do as a dad? closing it down and make him focus on his studies as heir. the ones he never could take because, again, everyone was just sort of waiting for him to die so his brother could be named heir to the throne.

like yeah. that would be such a responsible parent thing to do.

it gets sorta funny in a very sad way lmao he's such a bad dad even when he's actually trying to be better lol

and about arcos,,, that man would love if his son could stop running around risking his life actually. he's. so stressed. all the time ajksdhka

arcos is a completely different character from asterion. like two polar opposites in the "proud dad trying his best at parenting a danger prone child" spectrum. but ultimately they both just want their kid to be safe.

the problem with asterion is that he's,,, used to getting his way as emperor lol. he's so authoritative that he just expects people to do as he orders. rakiel gets his attention precisely because he refuses to bend to what he expects him to do, he's interested because his son finally is showing some spine and initiative. but rakiel can't outright defy him either because, again, he's the emperor. so he has to resort to convince him and change his mind whenever asterion wants him to do or not do something that doesn't align with his plans. it's a fine line that he has to walk.

lloyd and arcos don't have to do that lol. lloyd isn't afraid to go against arcos wishes and he mostly doesn't have to either. arcos is way more lenient with lloyd than asterion is with rakiel. once lloyd proves that he's being sincere and not trying to cause problems arcos just trusts him.

he wishes lloyd would run away from danger the moment he sees it, he even goes as far as to think he should scold him to stop getting involved in dangerous situations when he comes back from fighting a hell knight, but he ultimately doesn't.

there's even a scene back in the giant ants arc (that the webcomic skipped grrrr) before lloyd starts the construction where he tells lloyd that he thinks his plan is great but he has one condition, for lloyd to stay outside the mine while it's being constructed because it's dangerous. but lloyd tells him that he can't promise to do that because the best way to prevent accidents and gain his workers' trust is to be right there while the projects is done. but he gives him his word it will be safe and arcos gives in to lloyd's stubbornness.

(he ends up being buried alive in a mountain with hundreds of giant ants but like. it's the thought that counts lol)

so! at their core both asterion and arcos wish their children would stop putting themselves in danger! they're parents that's what they do! they worry and fret and sometimes scold when their kids get into risky situations! but they way they deal with that desire is vastly different.

arcos trusts lloyd judgement, he asks him to be safe and to stop getting into dangerous situations, but at no point does he try to impose his will on lloyd because he knows his son is capable and trustworthy and whatever he does he's surely doing it for a good reason.

asterion is proud of rakiel, but he doesn't really,,, respect him, in a way. he thinks everything he's doing for the clinic is just a hobby of his, something he's doing to pass the time before taking on his duties as crown prince. he likes what rakiel is accomplishing, but he thinks rakiel being a doctor isn't nearly as important as what asterion has planned for him as prince.

he also feels guilty for neglecting his kid in the past, he feels guilty because only when rakiel regained his health and future did he start showing that he cared for him. so he's trying to make up for it now by trying to keep him safe and giving him more responsibilities and the respect that comes with them but in doing so he's trampling over rakiel's actual wishes and will. which is pretty hypocritical of him tbh, something that sir roberto actually calls him out on, it's great perfect scene 10/10

so like. yeah. i have a lot of thoughts on the way arcos and asterion act as parents as you can tell ajshdka

#hey i got an ask #m1sosazai #tged #the greatest estate developer #arcos frontera #lloyd frontera #asterion magentano #rakiel magentano #crown prince sells medicine #cpsm

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mongoose-bite · 5 months

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This isn't that relevant but I just never remember to take screenshots. Paladin moment! And you can see Wyll's lil face in the background if you squint. I anticipate a playthrough where we both have dogshit strength being pretty funny.

Did Faye go party after talking to Halsin? Of course she didn't. My girl will not rest while innocents need saving, and I did just fast travel out without saving that stupid bard...

I don't know what it is with me and names in this game; I saw Volo and was like 'heh, same name as that freak in Soul Calibur' and completely forgot Volo's Guide to Monsters until I saw him again.

The party. Oooh god I was not prepared for the party. Neither was Faye. Laz'ael kinda had dibs, and couldn't be un-dibbed so it was basically a night of awkwardly rejecting people. Excruciating for both of us. Notable exceptions: Wyll, who did not ask. I thought Faye might go for him, but they are a bit too similar. He's basically a brother from another mother and she loves him as such. Halsin, who was very kind but firm when Faye wondered if she could get to know him. okay.jpg

And. Of course. Asterion. Who let her know he was absolutely desperate to fuck, but anyone but her. Ew. Listen, this entire camp is crawling with horny morons, and if you weren't such a sour and condescending gremlin you could have your pick of them, but instead you're having a sneer-off with the one person you can't stand who is going to go and get laid regardless.

I actually kind of love how antagonistic they are, and I'm almost tempted to turn the ship around just to watch him eat. his. words. But I couldn't do that to Faye, who basically regards him like a tired paramedic outside a club at 3am on a Sunday asking again what it is he's taken. Sadly, he's her job.

Anyway. Laz'ael. You don't have to get all dommy to get head, you know? She's a paladin getting on her knees and giving is in her nature. I don't think Faye regrets it, but she finds Laz'ael a bit exhausting in several senses and doesn't want a rematch either, or to talk about it. Asterion probably sensed that. Dick.

I still had this cursed book sitting in my inventory, cause I am the stupid, and had forgotten right click opened an Attack option in the menu and I fruitlessly kept trying to target it with the general attack option. I did eventually work it out.

Now I had noticed Auntie Ethel had the fey creature type, but I thought nothing of it, and Faye, sweetheart that she is, wasn't going to scare some old lady by telling her about the tadpole, so I only headed to the swamp out of a desire to fill in the map before leaving the zone. Also, a friend had informed me I could improve things slightly with Asterion by 'baa-ing' at redcaps, a bizarre piece of advice that made no sense til I got there. Frankly it's the first thing about him that's been remotely charming.

Anyway, we got as far as the door to the hag's lair, and I thought we'd more or less hit an instant boss fight, and I and my companions were so close to level 5. That extra attack was gonna do so much for me. So I turned around and scoured the map for anything that might offer scraps of exp. Took all day. Rested.

Gale offered a magic lesson. Faye had a great time til it all got a bit too serious and she broke it off, getting the sad and lonely reaction, and she's feeling bad about it cause he's hot and smart, and good-hearted. But. It did seem a bit too smooth, and he did also kick things off with a picture of his ex, and then a demonstration of how good said ex makes him feel. If she even is an ex. I'm not cucking a fucking goddess. Faye's wis score is higher than that.

Dyce would love everyone in this party though. He really would. I need to know if an nonocule is possible.

Back to Faye. Rather than face her problems, she decided she'd rather go to a horrible swamp and fight a hag with a guy who deeply dislikes her. It went fine. Overall, by the time we were done in the swamp, Asterion had gone from barely tolerating her to grudgingly tolerating her. As she herself says, 'I've got a long road ahead of me.'

#crunchy plays bg3 #bg3

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pink-november · 4 months

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Hey Pink, quick question. What do you think of Minotaur-Asterion/Dice, because I think they are awesome!

I want to give us chance to both publicly compliment them, and get them flustered. >:3

Flustering my sweet dove? Count me in!!!!!!

Asterion is, first and foremost, the most friendliest and loveliest mutual to ever mutual. They're so energetic and upbeat I can't help but match their energy and be on the same wavelength as them. Absolutely funny and witty, everytime they show up on my dash, I smile just a bit wider. It makes me giddy whenever they show up in my notes and rb stuff from me. Also make me flustered when they call me nicknames. Such a precious kitty they are, I become overcome with urge to give them a smooch and pet their head.

Also they're absolutely insane and unhinged, it had unearthed my own insanity and encouraged me to be active in the STP community. They're a big part why I'm even here so for that I'm very grateful.

Also have you seen their gorgeous art? Their heartwrenching and funny fics? If it were not for my mortal limitations, I would have printed everything they made and make an album or cover of it. The urge persists still grrrr GAAAAAHHHH

#novem asks #ily pookie keep being awesome 😎💯#ur turn modeus!!!

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quietbibliothecary · 9 months

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Mild spoilers that aren't really spoilers cause it's act 1

Here's the thing, and I find it kind of funny: for my first playthrough of BG3, I did not plan to romance anyone. I was just going to go with the flow, picking the dialog options that seemed to fit for this flagrantly self-insert character that I made (listen, we all need a little treat sometimes). So the party, post-grove saving, I, as an ace/demi person got super overwhelmed with EVERYONE HITTING ON MY DRUID, that I just didn't do anything.

Then I looked at the companion approval. I knew from past experiences that I would be able to max out approval for Shadowheart, Wyll, Gale, and Karlach very easily. Lae'zel was also solid. I did not expect to be anywhere in the green with Asterion, considering I was making animal and baby saving choices all the time. But I was solidly in the green. So I thought to myself, "I have no idea how this happened. It probably will not happen again. I might as well play through it to get the story because I'm not going to do another playthrough just for that." AND SOMEHOW I AM NOW IN A VERY COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH THE VERY MUCH NOT GOOD ALIGNED VAMPIRE. Has this happened to anyone else??? I've seen posts where people are trying desperately to romance him and I just kind of...tripped into it??? Help??????

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 astarion #outsource your conscience i guess

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valourworn · 1 year

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( deaken bluman, 21, cis man, he/him ) hey, is that SIRIUS BLACK wandering the halls without a companion? the SIXTH YEAR is getting bold. and here I thought the GRYFFINDOR was always more fearless, charismatic, & humorous. but then they are also known to be impulsive, guarded, & brooding, so maybe that makes sense. these hard times are enough to change anybody, I suppose. and did you hear people are saying they’re in THE ORDER? rumors fly when people are cooped up. here, I’ll show you — SIRIUS always reminded me of finding something that you lost ages ago, the low beam of light at the end of a dark hallway, a loud burst of laughter in the dead of night, blood shot eyes due to lack of sleep, mourning something that’s still alive. and I’ve heard HE JOINED THE ORDER TO SPITE HIS PARENTS. let’s hope the PUREBLOOD doesn’t get attacked by the beast. or let’s at least hope that rumor doesn’t get back to them before they do. ( leah, 23, cst, she/hers )

i’m going to try and keep this relatively short, so i don’t bore anyone with how much i love this boy. trigger warnings for physical abuse!

the story starts like any other: a boy born into the house of black, the heir walburga and orion hoped for. sirius asterion black iii was born on a bitterly, cold and cloudy morning in november and immediately placed into the arms of his nanny. the noble house of black was similar to that of an institution, and sirius’s birth was just another stepping stone to confirm that legacy.

later, he would be told that his parents were ‘ overjoyed ’ at his birth, but that tidbit was always confusing to him. he’d never once seen his parents display much emotion, nevertheless one that would be related to joy. his parents were cool and detached, certainly never ones for any sort of praise or physical affection.

from the earliest of days, he's possessed this wild, untamable energy. his magic was even more unruly, so much so that walburga had to ward off most of the family’s heirlooms out of fear that he’d break them. no matter how much walburga chased him around the house, shouting spells in his wake, he would be right back at it the next morning, as if he had remembered nothing.

but that’s when the spells got harsher, the wounds they caused taking longer to heal. it was then that sirius learned his jokes and tricks weren’t funny - no one was laughing anymore. and they never had been.

but sirius was smart, he soon realized that in order to survive the house he needed to put on a performance. it wasn’t that he didn’t believe in the rhetoric that he was being fed, but he never thought much about it past the weekly lectures he received. he knew, however, that if he really valued his life, he needed to work hard for a chance at survival and really show his parents he could play the part they wanted him to.

but the thing is, sirius could be good at the things his parents wanted him to excel at. charm the guests at a dinner party? he could do that without so much of a second thought. things like that simply just came like second nature to him after years of enduring constant beration from his mother and father. but even if he were to execute something perfectly, there would always be something that he could have done better. and if he had really messed up, there would most certainly be hell to pay. by the time he was seven, walburga and orion were very comfortable with using curses and hexes to punish their children, a precedent established when he was only five years old. it became like clockwork, something he could expect. sirius will never forget the pit in his stomach as his mother dragged him down the hall to his father’s study, nor the sound of the door locking behind him, sealing him to his fate.

and the truth was, sirius just assumed this was just how all families were. he knew his cousins were also held to unreasonably high standards, but he’d reasoned that it was normal and just the way things were. it wasn’t until he arrived at hogwarts did he realize that actually wasn’t actually the way the world worked.

sirius arrived at hogwarts fully expecting to be sorted into slytherin. because why wouldn’t he be ? it was tradition, and he’d watched as his cousin, andromeda, was sorted into their birthright only minutes before he stepped up to the stool. but it only took two seconds for the hat to be placed on his head before it called out GRYFFINDOR and he walked lamely towards his new house’s table, dazed and confused.

it didn’t take long for him to settle in, though. his new housemates were warm and friendly and fun, everything he had always wanted. it was easy to fall into step with them, to laugh with them. they were people who actually laughed at his jokes, who even got them in the first place. it was at hogwarts that he felt safe for the first time in his life, and he would do anything for his best friends, the marauders, who showed him what real family was like.

it was also at hogwarts that he learned something for once, most importantly that blood status didn't matter. he mingled with people that he never would have met had he not left grimmauld place and learned so so much.

sirius's first trip home was certainly the worst, although they never lessened in severity. his parents were always furious, especially walburga. he was prohibited from speaking to his friends while he was at home, but he still found little ways to rebel. his summers were long and boring, days spent wishing he could be back at the castle.

as the summers continued, his hatred for his parents deepened. by his fourth year, they were hardly on speaking terms and as much as sirius tried to act like he didn't care, there was still a part of him that longed for the big happy family a lot of his classmates had.

as a person, sirius is first and foremost definitely traumatized from his childhood. it takes him a very long time to trust people and even longer to open up about everything he's endured ( i want to say the marauders are the only people who rly know everything and even that took forever for him to disclose ). he jokes a lot, but it's really just a defense mechanism. he can be obnoxious and loud, craving attention from anyone who will give it to him. he'll start fights just for the hell of it, kiss someone at a party just to start drama, anything as long people are looking at him. he's charming, a sweet talker and boy does he know it.

but he also goes through periods where he is broody and withdrawn, even isolating himself from those closest to him. sirius is a constant storm of emotions, but he tries to hide it with his humor and his rebellion. he behaves impulsively and almost selfishly at times. it's all really just to mask that he feels like he doesn't belong, not in the house of black or in gryffindor either. major imposter syndrome !

doesn't really put much effort into school, but he would do really well if he tried. he often ditches class to take walks around the grounds doing god knows what. chain smoking cigarettes probably

hates rules, is rly that person who thinks they were just made to be broken

lots of pride, will never admit when he's wrong

i think that's all for now <3333

#petrifyintro #physical abuse tw

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lifeofroos · 5 years

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I rewrote the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur, but in a way were nobody is unhappy.

Theseus paced around his cell. He sighed deeply, very deeply. The next day, he had to face the minotaur. When he had stepped onto the boat that brought him to Crete, weeks earlier, he had thought that he would have figured out how to brave the labyrinth by this point. But alas, his brain was still blank. He sunk to the ground and rested his head against the wall of his cell. He was so tired. What to do, what to do...

He scrambeld to his feet when he heard something in the hallway. He turned his head around, towards the small window in the door. He saw light coming towards him. He blinked. It seemd so...bright. He hadn't seen light in quite a while. He heard a knock on his door. 'Theseus?' a feminine voice asked. Theseus straightend his back.

'Who are you?'

'You are a feisty one. I am princess Ariadne.' Theseus swallowed.

'What do you want from me?'

'Calm down a little. I can help you defeat the minotaur. Yet… I'll want something back.'

'How can I trust that you won't kill me?'

'Theseus, your chances are that I actually help you, or I kill you. If I don't give you advice, you die tomorrow anyway, so you either take the chance, or you die anyway.'

Theseus didn't say anything back. 'I take it that you agree.' He heard the lock of the door open. Ariadne appeared in the door frame. 'Follow me.'

The princess lead him to a secluded part of the palace. 'We can talk here. The guards patrol here at this time.' She soothed the skirt of her dress. First, there is something you should know. The minotaur is my half-brother.' Theseus gasped and opened his mouth to say something back, but the princess held up her finger.

'Let me continue. I know Asterion - that is the minotaurs birthname - has the habit of eating humans, when forced by starvation. Yet, when he does not get meat, he eats regular food, the scraps of our dinner. Someone had to bring it to him every day, and that was me. I… I have gotten close to him.'

'He is a monster, though, and you are so young and frail…'

'I am quite certain that I am older than you are and we Princesses train more than people think. Moving on, It would break my heart if he were to be killed.' Theseus swallowed. The look she gave him didn't make him feel comfortable. 'Now - it is quite easy to go around this problem,' she continued, 'Because under the labyrinth there is a corridor system, through which he will be able to escape to the woods on the island. He will be safe there, it is a holy place where hunting is illegal.'

'How do you know all that?'

'I said I had to feed him every day. Do you think I do not know how to walk through the labyrinth? Also, my... mentor showed me the geography of the Island.'

'Alright, that is true, I guess…' The girl pushed a ball of yarn into his hands.

'Here. This clew of wool will make sure that you do not get lost and that you will find the corridors. It is magic - don't ask. If Asterion sees it, and you call him by his name, I am sure that he will not charge at you. Tell him I send you.'

'Wait, he can...'

'Understand and speak human language. . If you lead him away, you can use the clew to get back to the entrance of the labyrinth, so you can leave and go back to Athens, with all the others.'

'What if he kills me before I can do all that?'

'He won't.' Ariadne got a sword from behind her skirts. 'But, here is my dad's sword, just to be sure.' Theseus laughed.

'Well… Thanks.' He took the sword from her hands. After that, he remembered that Ariadne had told him he had to do something for her in return. 'Uh… You told me I needed to do something for you too.' She gave him a single nod.

'This might sound weird...'

'Weirder than everything you have already told me?' She chuckled.

'Depends on how you see it. But, you see, I am actually supposed to get married to the old king of Thrace. He is... known for keeping a lot of misstresses and not treating his wives good. Yet, I have received a… better proposal. One that my father doesn't agree with. Or know of.' Theseus raised his eyebrows.

'Of whom, then? One of the servants? Some fisherman?'

'Very funny, Athens Boy. But, no.' The princess pushed up her sleeve, revealing a small tattoo on the back of her arm. It resembled a bunch of grapes, but Theseus realised that it wasn't just any small tatoo. It felt like one of the gods. put it there. 'It's Dionysus...'

'What!?'

'Let me talk. Yet, he can't take me away from here. I am locked inside the castle at all times and because of an old law, he can't get me out. Yet, a few days ago, he told me he could take me along with him if I was not on Crete. I have looked at it, and there is a small Island on the way from Athens to Crete, called Naxos. You can leave me there. '

'So, if I can lead the minotaur to a peaceful place so that I do not die and he doesn't either, I just… have to take you along and leave you on that island so your boyfriend, who is also the god of madness and wine, can pick you up?'

'Exactly.'

Theseus blinked. 'Sounds way to easy to be true.'

The princess shrugged. 'It is the best for everyone.'

'Then I accept, your majesty.'

'So, we have a deal, my prince?' She held up her hand.

'We have a deal,' he said, while giving her a high five.

Theseus breathed in the cool sea air.' Hmm. Now that's amazing, don't you think?' Ariadne chuckled.

'It certainly is. I would often sneak off to a side of the palace where the fresh air from the ocean could just reach me. But of course, it is nothing compared to being fully surrounded by it.' Theseus nodded.

'I can understand that. Man, I almost can't comprehend how easy that whole ordeal turned out to be. Thanks again, Ariadne.' The princess nodded.

'Hm-hm.' She narrowed her eyes. 'I think that over there is Naxos.' Theseus looked at the direction she pointed at. He sighed. 'Yeah, it sure is.' He turned around.

'Sail towards the island in the distance! We'll get resources for the rest of the trip there!' He called out. His first mate nodded, and begun shouting instructions to the rest of the crew.

Theseus sighed again and turned back to Ariadne. She looked excited. 'You know, I wish you and your boyfriend good luck, together.' She looked at him and smiled.

'Thanks, Theseus. If you ever find a lover, I wish you the same.' She chuckled again. 'I think I'll miss you… for a bit.' Theseus laughed.

Same for me, princess. Just a bit, of course.' They laughed together. She took a very deep breath.

'We'll have the rest of the trip to the island to still talk, Theseus.'

Theseus carried a barrel filed with fresh water towards the ship. When he was done, he walked out onto the beach one last time. Ariadne was waiting there. 'Are you sure he is coming?' She nodded with confidence.

'Yes. When you have left.' He slowly nodded.

Ariadne put a hand on his shoulder. I feel his presence, Theseus. You have my eternal thanks for bringing me here.'

'You're welcome.' She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

'I hope I get to see you again some day.'

'Me too. ' Ariadne let her hand slip of his shoulder. Theseus put a step back, turned around and slowly walked back to the boat.

He waved at her one last time, when she was just a spec in the distance. She waved back, before turning around and walking towards something Theseus couldn't fully see. He took a deep breath. 'Guess he did come for her after all,' he said to himself, feeling relieved.

'I think he thinks you didn't come for me,' Ariadne said, while she gracefully twirled around after that last wave.

'I did, though. And you too, apparently. To be honest, I wasn't sure he'd let you go,' Dionysus answered. She snickered and fell into his arms.

'Gods have a certain aura, don't you know that? and I can sense yours from a few hundred metres away. That's how I knew you were coming.' Dionysus snickered.

'Good to know that.' He gently pushed her out of his arms, so he could look at her. He cupped her face. 'You're even more beautiful when you are free.' Ariadne put a hand on his.

'That's good to know, because that is how I will be spending the rest of my life.' Dionysus nodded and kissed her on the forehead.

I promise you that it will be the rest of your life, Ariadne. I promise.'

#writeblr #greek mythology #writing #Theseus #Ariadne #Theseus and the minotaur #Asterion #Dionysus #Re-write #non-chanonical myth #minotaur #The minotaur #Mine #my writing #writer #writers

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goforwardgreenwriter-blog · 6 years

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The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 58 - 60

I’m back and ready to dive into hell again

Kaltain Rompier had just turned the tide in this war. Dorian had never been more ashamed of himself. He should have been better. Should have seen better. They all should have.

Many chapters ago I would have defended you... but yeah, no, you’re an asshole Dorito.

There was no Lock. Not in the way that they had expected, not in the way the queen had been promised and instructed to find it.

So yeah, no cigar. Given there’s still quite a few chapters left, I didn’t expect it to be this easy.

Instead of a Lock, inside there is instead a witch mirror, which are very powerful, Manon explains.

Finally, the witch said, “They’ve been making towers. Enormous, yet capable of being hauled across battlefields, lined with those mirrors. For Erawan to use with his powers—to incinerate your armies in a few blasts.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ARE YOU SHITTING ME

ERAWAN’S SECRET ULTIMATE WEAPON IS SOME WALKING TOWERS WITH FUCKING MIRRORS ON THEM

HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS ALMOST AS FUNNY AS THE BATHTUB CAULDRON FROM AC0WAR KDHAFJKHKJFHKHKD YOU'RE KILLING ME SJM

[Aelin’s] magic was exhausted. For the first time in days, that pit of magic now slumbered. She could sleep for a week. A month.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been a dumbass and wasted it all on showing off and shitting glitter out your ass then, Alien.

Anyways some ships and a small army roll up to the marshes. Everyone understandably freaks out but Alien seems weirdly calm?

The soldiers were in heavy, worn gray armor, their faces rough and scarred, sizing them up as they hit the sand. Fenrys snarled at one of them, and the man averted his eyes. But the cloaked woman removed her hood as she approached with feline grace, halting perhaps ten feet away. Aelin knew every detail about her.

Huh, weird, she kinda sounds like-

That full mouth slanted into a half grin as Ansel of Briarcliff, Queen of the Wastes, drawled, “Who gave you permission to use my name in pit fights, Aelin?”

Wait......... what the fuck.

Ansel. As in, Ansel from the prequel novella. As in, a character who was not in the main series is now playing a major role in this series plot.

I’m..... tired. Not gonna complain. Just know it’s dumb and I hate it, because not everyone has read the short stories and I shouldn’t have to pay extra to understand your main plot, SJM!

Next chapter establishes that Ansel is indeed a queen. Fuckin’ great, because nobody can not be royalty in this godforsaken series.

No sign of Abraxos. Manon scanned the skies, the fleet, the seas. Not a scale to be found.

SJM, ABRAXOS BETTER BE OKAY I SWEAR TO GOD

Ansel is here because Alien used her name in the fighting pits in the previous novel.

Dorian staggered forward a step at Ansel’s words, and the Queen of the Wastes gave him a look that said she’d like to pillage him.

Yuck. Can you assholes not be horny for once in your life.

Aedion didn’t know who to be more furious with: Aelin, for not telling him about Ansel of Briarcliff and the gods-damned army she’d quietly ordered to sack Melisande and seize its fleet, or himself, for not trusting her.

Jesus fucking christ, I can’t believe I’m about to defend Assdion, but you have no reason to trust Alien! She schemes and plans behinds everyone’s backs and doesn’t tell you of her plans so she can rub it in your faces after you yell at her! Alien is the embodiment of all my pet peeves in people jkdhjkshfja

[Aedion] tried not to bristle. He was [Aelin’s] general-prince. Rowan was her consort —or close enough to it. And yet she had not entrusted them with this.

I think SJM wants us to see Assdion as unreasonable, but he’s right! They’re Alien’s fucking court and she won’t trust any of them with her plans but oh, since it works out in the end it turns out she’s the best queen evah!!!11 Fucking eat my ass SJM.

Lysandra ran a finger down the smooth wood of the railing. “I thought … It all seemed a grand adventure. Even when the danger was so horrible, it was still new, and I was no longer caged in dresses and bedrooms. But that day in Skull’s Bay, it stopped being any of that. It started being … survival. And some of us might not make it.”

>implying SJM would ever dare to kill one of her darling main characters

Assdion and Lysandra talk about loss and dying or something then they talk about whatever their relationship is.

Lysandra indeed went on the defensive and showed her hand. “I know my history is … unappealing.” “I’m going to stop you right there,” Aedion said, daring a step closer. “And I’m going to tell you that there is nothing unappealing about you. Nothing. I’ve been with just as many people. Women, men … I’ve seen and tried it all.”

ok but like.. Lysandra is talking about being a courtesan, Assdion is talking about being bisexual. Those two are... completely different things. Why would Assdion compare his bisexuality to being a courtesan...... maybe I’m reading too much into this but I’m bisexual and this kinda makes me uncomfortable....

Also of course the only bisexual character in the cast is a slut shaming asshole so I can’t even stan him. Ungh. I hc Manon as lesbian and Darrow is canon gay, so I’m gonna say Gav is bisexual and stan him. SJM can catch these hands.

Aedion shrugged. “I find pleasure in both, depending on my mood and the person.” One of his former lovers still remained one of his closest friends—and most skilled commanders in his Bane.

If Assion wasn’t a dick, I’d ship it. Also, ten bucks says nameless gay Bane commander will die for Assdion’s pain.

Lysandra agrees that they should be honest with each other and Assdion gets a boner at the thought of her mouth then the chapter ends. Riveting. That served no purpose other than to make all the bisexuals reading this squirm uncomfortably.

Next chapter begins with Ansel and Alien drinking and I can already tell there’s gonna be plenty of dumb banter.

“It’d be nice,” Aedion grumbled from down the table, where he and Rowan glared at them, “to be included in just one of these schemes, Aelin.” “But your faces are so wonderful when I get to reveal them,” Aelin crooned. He and Rowan growled. Oh, she knew they were pissed. So pissed that she hadn’t told them about Ansel. But the thought of disappointing them, of failing … She’d wanted to do this on her own.

Does SJM even read the shit she writes? Let’s dissect this.

1. Rowboat and Assdion are portrayed as nosy assholes for wanting to... be involved in their queen’s plans? You know, the queen they’ve sworn to serve? THE QUEEN WHO PUT THEM IN HER COURT.

2. Stop describing them as “pissed” they’re goddamn Fae for god’s sake

3. Oh, so Alien is scared of disappointing them, so it’s okay she lies to her own people and court?? Like how does SJM see this as a woman capable of being a queen? She lies all the goddamn time!!!! A queen is not supposed to hide this important shit from her own goddamn court!!! Just because she feels sorry about it doesn’t make it okay gdi!!!! I want Alien to fucking rot in hell!!!!!

“I want you to find me the lost Crochan witches.” Manon jerked upright. “What.”

Yeah, so now Alien wants to raise a witch army. Manon is understandably like “what the fuck” but of course, she is shot down to raise Alien up. Fuck you, SJM.

“They’re all gone,” Manon cut in again. “We’ve hunted them to near extinction.” Aelin slowly looked over a shoulder. “What if their queen summoned them?” “I am no more their queen than you are.”

Manon says this, but SJM has been parading her around almost this entire novel as a queen despite not having any land, titles, armies, whatever. Also, why does every single species have monarchies? Wouldn’t it make more sense for some of them to have different ruling systems?

“I think Erawan was probably born pissed.”

God Ansel is Alien 2.0 isn’t she...

It was no surprise at all that Ansel had managed to hold on to Hisli, the Asterion mare she’d stolen for herself. But Kasida—oh, Kasida was just as beautiful as Aelin remembered, even more so once she’d been led over a gangway onto the ship. Aelin had brushed the mare down when she’d led her into the cramped, wet stables, and bribed the horse to forgive her with an apple.

Alien can eat my ass but this is cute........ I don’t like or trust horses irl, but I like them in fiction where I don’t have to be next to them. Don’t @ me horse lovers.

Ansel splooges about how Alien didn’t kill her back in the desert and how noble and uhmazing that makes Alien. Deep breaths. Deeeep breaths. I can do this.

“We got a report that Fae soldiers were spied starting them. Firing from ships.” “Maeve,” Gavriel murmured. “But burning isn’t her style.” “It’s mine,” Aelin said. They all looked at her. She let out a humorless laugh.

Alien’s really out here making jokes when innocent country sides have been set on fire because of her, huh..... yeah, I can totally tell the deaths of innocent people are really eating her up, what a sympathetic character!

Later, Alien and Rowboat are going over strategies in private and... oh god. Oh my god. It’s this scene. This one page drained so much life and happiness out of me I think I need more therapy.

Aelin scanned the sprawl of the world, which had once seemed so vast and now, at her feet, seemed so … fragile. So small and breakable. “You could, you know,” Rowan said, his tattoo stark in the lantern light. “Take it for yourself. Take it all. Use Maeve’s bullshit maneuvers against her. Make good on that promise.”

“bullshit maneuvers” jhdahfjafh I’d complain about the writing but that is nothing compared to this implication of Alien being a fucking conqueror. If she was supposed to be a villain or morally grey then maybe, but SJM keeps hailing her as the best morally right queen evah, but then has her think about conquering the goddamn world.

“And would you join me if I did? If I turned conqueror?” “You would unify, not pillage and burn. And yes—to whatever end.” “That’s the threat, isn’t it?” she mused.

OHHH, OH OKAY. WELL THAT MAKES IT OKAY THEN.

NO FUCK YOU. Doesn’t matter what your reason is for conquering is, it’s a goddamn bad thing to do!! You’re attacking and invading other countries resulting in thousands of deaths in order to yank control out of their hands like wtf!!!!! ALIEN WAS A SLAVE IN THE SALT MINES SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

This is shit that FASCISTS would say. And Alien is supposed to be the morally sound protagonist that little girls can look up to. Holy fucking shit.

“But if you could … would you?” For a heartbeat, she could see it—see her face, carved into statues in kingdoms so far away they did not even know Terrasen existed.

You know who else did shit like this?

Ozai from ATLA. You know, a fucking Fascist villain who wiped out an entire culture of Airbenders and planned to conquer the whole world to rule with an iron fist.

This is your protagonist, SJM. YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD THING TO ASPIRE TO BE. How the fuck was this book published I am so goddamn mad.

“Perhaps if being queen bores me … I’ll think about making myself empress. To give my offspring not one kingdom to inherit, but as many as the stars.” There was no harm in saying it, anyway. In thinking about it, stupid and useless as it was. Even if wondering about the possibilities … perhaps it made her no better than Maeve or Erawan.

DFJAKLJFDLKAJFLKAJSKF

1. I love how Alien’s quote is supposed to be ~epic and uhmayzing~ when it’s about her fucking conquering all of the world’s countries to give to her kids, who may very well follow in her footsteps and be fascist assholes as well. I pray to god that Alien or Rowboat kicks the fucking bucket before they can have kids.

2.How could you be bored of being queen.... you know that’s like, a huge responsibility??? SJM literally knows nothing about monarchies and did no research outside of watching old Disney princess movies.

3. “no harm in saying it” OP is a fascist but go off I guess

4. “perhaps it made her no better than Maeve or Erawan” no bitch you’re worse than them at this point holy fucking shit!!!! At least no one is out here stanning them despite them wanting to conquer and kill innocent people like you!! Holy fucking shit this novel!!

Rowan dragged a hand through his hair. “Sometimes I wish I knew every thought in that head, each scheme and plot. Then I remember how much it delights me when you reveal it—usually when it’s most likely to make my heart stop dead in my chest.”

Yeah never mind me defending you because Alien is a dumbass, you’re a fucking awful person too. Both of you can fucking drown for all I care.

Next up is Manon’s POV.

Abraxos should have been here already. [Manon] shut out the coiling dread in her stomach. But instead of wings, footsteps creaked in the hall outside. A heartbeat later, the door opened on near-silent hinges, then shut again. Locked.

Oh, fuck you SJM, teasing me with a Manon and Abraxos reunion only to give me dumb Dorito/Manon shit. Fuck. Yo.

You don’t have chains anymore.” She sat up at that, examining where the irons draped down the wall. “Is it more enticing for you if they’re on?” Sapphire eyes seemed to glow in the dark as he leaned against the shut door. “Sometimes it is.”

Gross. I’ve never been disgusted reading Manon’s POV before, but... it’s starting to rub off on her. Please SJM, don’t taint her, she is one of the few good things I have to cling to in this massive pile of shit.

She let Dorian back her against the wall. Let him hold her gaze while he tugged the top laces of her white shirt free. One. By. One.

This. Writing. Is. Terrible.

But Dorian Havilliard said, “The Bloodhound was lying that night. What she said about your Second. I felt her lie—tasted it.” Some tight part in her chest eased. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

What the fuck Dorito, you’re making out with her and then you randomly bring up her possibly dead friends?????? What is this writing????

Again, that dark, edged smile appeared. And when he stepped close once more, his hands replaced those phantom ones. Tracing her hips, her waist, her breasts. Unhurried, indolent circles that she allowed him to make, simply because no one had ever dared.

Oh my god this is a DoritoManon sex scene isn’t it

A chill ran down her body, peaking her breasts. He watched them, then circled a finger around one. Dorian bent, his mouth following the path where that finger had been. Then his tongue. She bit her lip against the groan rising up her throat, her hands sliding into the silken locks of his hair.

OH GOD IT IS PLEASE HELP ME I NEED AN ADULT

Okay so if you want my thoughts on SJM sex scenes in general, go read my ch 38 review. But this is especially shit because Manon and Dorito barely have any chemistry. Plus Dorito is a crusty asshole and I don’t want him anywhere near my Manon baby. Fuck this goddamn shit.

She had never contemplated what it would be like—to yield control. And not have it be weakness, but a freedom.

JFC SJM, I GET IT. I get it, Dorito is the only man Manon would ever be submissive with because he’s so ~manly and dominate~ I FUCKING GET IT, GET THIS SHIT OUT OF MY FACE.

As he freed her pants button by button, then slid them off.

PANTS

This just further proves my theory SJM did no research about the medieval time period and just wanted to write lots of smutty porn.

Manon let him raise her arms over her head, his magic gently pinning her wrists to the mattress as he touched her, first with those wicked hands.

Oh my god the magic foreplay returns to haunt me. It was dumb then, it’s dumb now.

The next paragraph they’re already done and cleaning up, which seems... oddly rushed for SJM. She took numerous pages to describe Rowboat and Alien climaxing but skipped out here? I’m not complaining, believe me, just feels odd for her.

She tugged on her clothes with trained efficiency, and only when she was lacing up her shirt did Dorian say, “We’re not done, you and I.” And it was the purely male promise that made her bare her teeth.

I AM GOING TO GODDAMN LOSE MY MIND MORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE

DORITO ISN’T A MALE FAE. I’VE SEEN PEOPLE EXCUSE THE WEIRD MALE TERRITORIAL FAE SHIT WITH “oh it’s okay because they’re Fae and not human so it’s okay for them to be possessive uwuu” BUT GUESS FUCKING WHAT SWEETHEART! DORITO ISN’T FAE SO Y’ALL HAVE NO GODDAMN EXCUSE FOR HAND WAVING THIS GROSS POSSESSIVE SHIT ASIDE

KHADKFHAFHAJKHFKJAHSFK IM BREAKING

Dorian gave another purely male smile

After Dorito fucks off we go to Lorcan and Elide. Holy fucking shit this chapter is so long. The DoritoManon sex scene could’ve been cut out without any loss to the plot but lbr, fans aren’t here for the supposed fantasy plot, they’re here to read shitty smut.

Even utterly exhausted, Elide barely slept during the long night she and Lorcan swayed in hammocks with the other sailors.

After the shit I just read, this cuteness is welcomed.

Something softened in [Lorcan’s] harsh face as his eyes dipped to where [Elide’s] arm dangled out of her hammock, the skin still a bit sore, but … miraculously healed. She’d thanked Gavriel twice now, but he’d brushed it aside with a gentle nod and shrug.

This is either pure and wholesome or I’m just grasping for anything after that sex scene. Gav is such a good character, let him be a father figure to Elide and take her out for ice cream and they go for fun walks on the beach searching for interesting shells and rocks. Treasure that wholesome mental image.

It was the shout of the watch that jolted them. The one of pure terror. Elide nearly flipped out of her hammock, the sailors rushing past. By the time she shoved her hair from her eyes, Lorcan was already gone.

Oh fucking great, what bullshit do I have to put up with now?

Sailing over the western horizon, another armada headed for them. And Elide knew in her bones it was not one that Aelin had schemed and planned for. Not as Fenrys breathed, suddenly beside her on the steps. “Maeve.”

I’m so sorry I’m leaving you on a cliffhanger, but I need a break after the shit I’ve just witnessed. Like, I might actually die if I don’t stop right now.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti tog #anti eos #im so fuckign tired.....

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menagerie-rpg · 6 years

Photo

「 SEONG-JIN CHOI 」

STRATUM: Three AGE: Thirty OCCUPATION: Strongman SUGGESTED FCS: Gong Yoo

CREATURE FORM.

MINOTAUR is a gigantic, half-bull and half-man hybrid. It has a human body and a bull’s head, neck, and tail. Due to the immense size of the Minotaur and natural strength, much of the circus' heavy lifting is done by the creature alone.

ABOUT.

God would call you a beast. Not because of your exterior, but because you have the cold anger of one. Once did you have everything, and although having a father was the missing puzzle piece, this is the only mistake you will ever allow in life. Your mother watched over you, and you, her. A perfectly imperfect family who did not give a damn about anyone but themselves. But alas, selfishness only breeds jealousy. So there your family business went -- crashing down, your mother collapsing alongside it. You believe your life has ended, but it’s only just begun; a tale of how man battles with ego.

BIOGRAPHY.

All under the cut.

Beginnings

I. To hear your mother tell it one would think there had never been a man at all, that your birth was a divine gift, an immaculate conception. Maybe this would be easier tale to tell if it had. But the truth is this story begins as all our stories do.

II. On a rainy summer evening a newly appointed CEO met an architect from Greece at a gala. It had been bittersweet romance where both parties could see the end from the moment it began, but he was funny and quick witted and where was the harm in a season long affair.

III. Almost 12 months later she laid in a hospital bed cradling a newborn that notably shared her dark hair and eyes that matched those of an architect who had disappeared from her world as quickly as came.

IV. She names you Seong-Jin to sign on the dotted line, but you’ll go by simply “Jin” for most of your life. Your middle name, Asterion, is the only sign of your other lineage and it came from a book he left behind. It’ll take many years to realize just what a fitting name it is (and by then it’ll be too late to ask if somehow back then she knew just what you would become.)

The Golden Age

I. Your family is the poster for the American Dream, and what a precarious dream it is where a single detail (the matter of one’s birth, education, associates, where they lived, or who they lived with) could make or break a person’s life. You would never have the picture perfect nuclear family, she couldn’t give you your father back, but perhaps if your life was perfect in every other regard you wouldn’t notice the difference.

II. The home your father had designed, his singular contribution of child support, acted as the foundation. What once seemed a labyrinthine home much too large for two people began to fill with staff and the long corridors lead to rooms tailored to whatever need might arise. She set up an office space so that she could be close to you, arranged play-dates with the other socialites’ children, hired tutors, a cello instructor, a fencing coach.

III. Your mother gave you the world in those four walls and in return you protected her best you knew how.

IV. When you were young that meant being perfect at everything you did and destroying any evidence of the contrary.

As long as you got straight A’s and won the prestigious awards why trouble her with the knowledge that it was not a natural talent, of the hours upon hours spent beating yourself up to get it right.

That your teachers found you smart, but were concerned over your temperament

That last week the boy down the street called you a bastard, a poser, new money, with the sneer of someone who was only repeating what they heard someone else say.

How it filled with you a rage and it was only when you took matters into your own fists that it settled (but only for a moment).

That sometimes you liked to a play a game where you pretend that “the other Asterion” had come to visit and gave him a tour of the house.

V. She called you her golden child, made sure anyone who would listen knew it, and you would not have her think herself a liar.

The Silver Years

I. Every child must grow up eventually and in this you were no different.

II. At eighteen you were a lot different than the person you were at eight but in as many ways you were the same.

Your ambitions sharpened into a straight arrow: you decided your major at eleven, your university at fifteen, and didn’t weaver for a second. Your teachers called it arrogance, but the acceptance letter arrived all the same

You’re too old for fist fights, but the feelings remained. You learned the power of a cold shoulder; a distant uninterested stare; the way the furrow of your brow, the very implication of your anger, has the same effect.

The kids in the neighborhood, who were no longer kids either, learned new words to call you: cold, misanthropic, Machiavellian.

You traded your imaginary friend for real ones who were an illusion of a different kind.

III. In college you join the fencing team, the orchestra, and the honors society, but the highlight of all things is unexpectedly a course in Greek Literature.It reminded you of the stories your mother read to you as a child, when you believed yourself to be the hero of the story.

IV. It was also the semester you learned about Cryptids

One member of your study group claimed to have seen it with his own eyes. Another found the whole thing ridiculous and called him a liar.

You, for the first time in your life, weren’t sure what to believe.

The Fall of Rome

I. There are somethings that not even you could have protected your mother from, though you will spend your whole life telling yourself otherwise.

II.The truth is the company had been slipping from her grasp long before you left home, and yet when you return back to the one thing the bank couldn’t take away - your beautiful infinity home - to find her a shell of her former self, you can’t help but think that you could.

Transformation

I. Everyone describes their first time differently: for some they had always known, deep down, what they would become; for others it’s sprung on them suddenly, triggered by an event, a feeling.

II. You’re 22 and all at once you’re life is unraveling and you haven’t been this angry since you were eight and a boy with the picture perfect family reminded you that you had been clinging to a world that you didn’t belong to.

III. When you wake up in the morning your room is trashed and in the haze of it all you can only think of the moment you had caught a glimpse of yourself in a reflective source; only you hadn’t looked anything like you at all.

IV. You clean your room, you lock the thought away, you move on.

The Labyrinth

I.You spent hours each day trying to find her in that home, to sit down and talk with her, but she seemed to elude you every time.

II. It was only at dinner as she sat on the opposite end of the table only barely hearing anything you say, her thoughts clearly elsewhere, you realized that she was running from you on purpose.

III. Suddenly the place you lived your whole life felt different like you had been transported somewhere else.

IV. During the day: Solitude. wandering through the corridors; reading; pretending to sleep because it was easier to confront than being awake were becoming less and less of a choice.

No one answered your calls or read your text. there are no practices or parties to attend. You could feel yourself slipping away and not single one of them could bring themselves to care.

When was the last time you felt so alone?

V. At night you went on long walks, the city just a bigger maze and your room that you wake back up in the morning is the center.

In between that: a möbius strip anger, guilt, confusion

Blackouts

Rinse and repeat

Sometimes you have dreams of a man with a bull head. Google yields no explanation.

VI. A rumour of a different kind: a cryptid spotted.

Theseus Arrives

I. You’re 25 and you hadn’t accepted what you are, but your savings was dwindling; no law school got back to you; no company wanted to hire you. If you can’t control anything else in your life you’ll control this.

The first time you do it on purpose, locked in the bathroom, it takes almost half a day. When it finally happen you have to fight against the urge to scream out (can you even scream?)

You practice every other day, some days are more successful than others and there is always the matter of changing back. (the horns, always the horns, are the last to go.)

On television you listen to reports of cryptid spottings and arrest; people expressing their disgust, their horror, their twist fascination. You remember when you were on that side of things, it’s getting harder to convince yourself you’re still there.

II. You did your fair share of blackmailing long enough to recognize when it’s happening to you. To Metzger’s credit he is straight to the point:

“A crueler man would report this to the police or the news-” he gestured to the photos, a little hazy, but undoubtedly you. The other you. “I won’t insult your intelligence by saying someone else won’t put the pieces together.”

He reminded you that you don’t have any friends, and more than a few enemies. He offers you a job, money. Reminded you that you’re no good to your mother staying here.

III. He was also kind enough to give you the illusion of choice, to think about it.

IV. By the end of the week you’re on the road. (Your mother didn’t seem surprised to see you go.)

Now

I. Come one! Come all! He’s half man, half bull, all B E A S T.

You have a degree from Harvard, can recite several languages, have more trophies and medals than can fit on a shelf, but no one cares.

You can lift twice your weight over your head and then some. That’ll get you a surplus of praise.

II. It’s been eight years since you first learned what you are, five since you joined the circus, and in many ways you are just the same.

III. But in more ways you are not.

#*beast bio #taken #gong yoo fc

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