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#bruce is the mom friend admit it you cowardly worms
bruciemilf · 8 months
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Bruce who accidentally parents his rogues because the mom syndrome is starting to take deep roots.
He threatens Harvey with no dessert if he keeps escaping from Arkham, and blushes bright under the cowl when the man's mouth splits In a teasing, switchblade smirk, " Is that code for something else, doll?"
Harley insists on kicking his seat everytime he arrests her, " I will turn this car around!"
"To where! Also, I'm pretty sure this is just a Tesla with fancy gadgets and an emo makeover."
"You take that back, missy--"
Selina has to sit through 3 hours of " our generation doesn't know what real music is" speeches until she finally cracks and chokes him with her whip
Martinez will never forget the day Batman grabs Riddler by the scruff of his neck and holds him like a misbehaving cat, " What do we say when we flood the city?"
"Sorry."
"That's right. Now go to your cell for reflection time."
Don't misunderstand, he's like that with the league, too. Bruce gives Billy a juice box for not obliterating an enemy to bits and he almost gets lasered.
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