Back from Supanova Melb and had a great time 🥳🥳 Thank you to everyone who visited my humble little booth!

I'm happy to announce that I managed to sell the whole remaining stock of my SetsuPomu comic! 🎉🎉

I also feel confident enough to organise another print run in the future as well for anyone who missed the initial run!

It was my very first time tabling at a con so I didn't really know what to expect? I didn't bring many goods. Just those shikishis that I've been working on over the year and some of my remaining books that were spares. I could only bring a small number of books because they're really heavy and I'm weak and pathetic 😔

I didn't think the low book stock would be a problem going in because I kinda assumed they wouldn't sell? Love Live Nijigasaki doesn't have a huge presence locally so my expectations weren't set high. I would've been happy to sell a single copy honestly 😅

So when I did sell that first copy I was super surprised! I'm so sorry to the one who bought that first book! I was acting a bit weird bc I was just in disbelief that someone wanted to buy the comic ahahhah

I was like "Huh??? You want to buy it???? Huh???? For real???"

I seriously didn't think I'd sell the rest of the remaining stock. Sure I only had like 10-15 books leftover from the online sales but I only brought 5 books on the first day!!! I ended up leaving the con early and scurrying home to pick up more. And that commute was about 2 hours so it was super exhausting (esp since my day began at 6am 😅)

I'm still super surprised that people actually bought my book! Like ???? All sorts of people too. Both fans of Love Live! and people who had no context of the series. Different demographics too! Again, I'm so thankful for the support!

It was nice seeing that there were still LL fans in Melbourne as well. Love Live! is a bit rare to see in artist alleys these days, so a lot of people stopped by to mention they were Love Live fans 😊

Most people were Muse or Aqours fans and didn't make any purchases but I was still happy to meet them. Again, it's nice knowing there are other LL fans around!

I'm also pleased to announce that there are at least 5 Setsuna Yuki fans in Melbourne...! (Including me...) As well as Nijigasaki fans 🎉🎉

One person was wearing a Dive! long sleeve and I was like !!!! I have the exact same top at home 😭😭😭 I respect it!!! I also know that it's expensive as hell to export so I doubly respect it 🥲

I definitely want to keep representing Nijigaku at cons 💪!!

It's also worth noting that this con was a general pop culture con. So the audience is more mixed with Western pop culture. It made finding those LL fans extra surprising!

During the day I had a lot of time to burn. While I'm happy with the outcome of the con, it's not like I made tons of sales. My store only has a small amount of stock for a niche (compared to having a million prints and little knick knacks) so it's pretty expected. But yes, I was just idling for a lot of it.

I did end up drawing some quick shikishi on the spot.

I ended up selling Rathalos and Yu! (Mizuki is looking for a home still.) I was also asked if I was taking shikishi commissions which feeds my ego, but I did end up rejecting bc I didn't feel confident enough with these quick ones to take commissions just yet. (In general I reject commissions anyways bc I'm not great at them...)

A neat thing is that taking the hour do draw that one Rathalos drew some Monster Hunter fans to the table! I managed to have a few little conversations about the game bc of that. I think I'll make more MH shikishi in the future since it's fun to draw. It's also funny to think about my booth becoming LL x MH since the communities are pretty different 😂😂

Overall, I think the con was a success! I have a bunch of cute stories to tell but I think I'll leave it for another post. Financially, I did end up making back all of my expenses! So that's a success in that front as well.

I'd like to do more cons in the future! But honestly it's a little hard for me to be accepted as I tend to make really little content. (Just a few books and shikishi). I think I can only really do half tables...

But I'll do my best!

Once again, thanks to everyone who visited!

Stay tuned for my shop updating to include all the spare goodies. Now that this con is over I can sell them online 🥳

Hope you don’t mind me sharing this with you. 💛

So, I have this headcanon that James is really good at drawing/painting. Like I see him as being really creative in a lot of ways. But this particular creative outlet stared out as a little kid having fun with art like most of us do. BUT it developed into this passion and something he really wanted to be good at after meeting Sirius because he wanted to draw things to make him smile. Like this really took hold after he found out just how shitty Sirius’ family is. So over summer breaks James would just bombard him with drawings of anything and everything he could think of to cheer him up. (Comic strips, pranks unfolding, some crazy surreal image, you name it he drew it). Some move some don’t. Which eventually evolved into James drawing primarily the two of them together being their chaotic selves doing god knows what, but there is also some incredibly sweet, tender, and intimate ones that Sirius will never allow another person to see because they are HIS and he like sleeping with them under his pillow or something and stares at them whenever stuff at home get too hard before running away. 🥺😫💙

: o never!!! inbox is always, always open especially for such precious headcanons 🥺🥺

ok but !!! that’s so good!! i love it. i know people talk about musician/singer james but artist is a new one for me and it’s so lovely. i can see it too. he’d totally be the type of kid to leave handprints and scribbles and doodles all over potter manor and you just *know* effie and flea always encouraged it so he brought the habit with him to hogwarts; it’s not surprising to walk into their dorm and see the walls filled with all kinds of things.

i also like him channelling his energy and hyperactivity into art; using it as a way to process Big Feelings and when he’s feeling helpless/powerless which clinches very neatly with Sirius’ situation. james can’t do anything about it, not really, so he uses this medium to try and cope & make sirius feel better at the same time.

i’m also now imagining boudoir art (that’s a thing right? if it isnt, it should be) where he draws sirius in those super intimate moments u talked about and omg ok listen. i have a Thought.

so sirius isn’t vain right? like, he knows he’s beautiful but that’s about it. no more than that. he doesn’t even think he’s All That bc of a pretty solid complex instilled in him by his family where nothing is ever good enough right? but then. then he sees james drawing him like this, the way j sees him and he’s basically just gob-fucking-smacked bc it’s literally like an angel or something and ‘that can’t be me right? no way?’ and james is just like ‘of course it is si who else?’ and he just has to mentally recalibrate bc he suddenly has way too many feels and ‘oh my god what do i do now is that really how he sees me’ and just. yeah. james breaking down his barriers one by one lol.

or or or someone takes a look through an oblivious pining james’ sketchbook (who thinks he’s just innocently drawing his surroundings p; and it’s just filled with sirius, yeah? and they’re like ‘huh. u got something to tell us, mate?’ and he’s just like, owlishly blinking, clearly confused. ‘…no?’ and the other person just gets more and more suspicious like uh yeah sure u don’t and james is just getting flustered when they point out what’s going on and yeah. sure be nice if this is how he founds out he’s in love with his best friend lol

sirius being possessive of james’ art is also so precious 🥺🥺 like someone tries to take a peek and he just snatches it away with an unimpressed look like ‘mine 😤’ it’s so hilarious

list of my anti-LoK feelings

Excluding the Gaang’s treatment and trying to be spoiler free so that i can tell my brother about this, let’s go:

oh no it got long

none of this is in chronological order

- Poor mishandling of the concepts/conflicts (the Equalists being led by a bender)

- K/ya and Bum/i being treated poorly by the Air Acolytes simply because they aren’t airbenders 

- Bloodbending being the only bending subset art that’s demonized (meanwhile lightningbending gets to power Republic City)

- Harmonic Convergence - just random people getting airbending instead of people discovering they have airbending because Air Nomads are nomads and are likely to have descendants everywhere and it’s quite possible that the reason why Air Nomads are the only nation with a population that’s made up of 100% benders is because they gave nonbending children away to other nations, those kids carry on the genes but noooo it’s the most spiritual art or some random bs.

- the name of Republic City - whyyyyyyy you could’ve named it the People’s City in Chinese or something 

- Bu/mi getting airbending and apologizing to a statue of his dad for not being enough

- Te/nzin being the only Cloud kid with a family - because apparently airbending can only be passed down if there’s an airbending parent instead of bending being a wheel spin, coin toss, and draw of the hat chance combined with genetics so both Bumi and Kya could’ve had kids,,,but they didn’t. 

- “There’s LGBTQ+ rep!!!” yeah one of them is in the Fog of Lost Souls and a terrible person, Ky/a’s sexuality was confirmed in a comic that a good majority of the fandom doesn’t read bc the ATLA comics are notoriously abysmal, while Korra and Asami were shoved in last minute

- Kor/rasa/mi being shoved in last minute and that’s not because Nickolodean wouldn’t let Br/yke do it, they literally had no endgame ship until the last minute.

- the Spirit portals. Ah yes, make the Spirit World more accessible and make the Northern Water Tribe have an easy way to invade the Southern Water Tribe

- Water Tribe War of Why Would the North Want the South Except for an Ego Boost - oh stars i could write an essay on this: first of all there’s no reason for the two to unite - they’re on opposite ends of the world, two nations are between the two tribes so the constant travel between the two tribes is just too much. Secondly, we don’t do colonization in this household but apparently the North wanted to be like So/zin-Azul/on-O/zai’s Fire Nation. Thirdly: why. just why.

- The Western fashions and architecture - why is there a big ol’ statue of Aang in Republic City waters a la Statue of Liberty style -_- and why is there Western fashion asfjakjfkdj give me qipaos and i’ll shut up about it. (literally if everyone was wearing a qipao to be fancy i would give LoK less grief except for like “kind of boring but at least you tried”)

- As/ami is treated as a side character instead of one of the main four because she’s “Not a bender” (being removed from major fight scenes)

- Asa/mi being everyone’s emotional support and no one gives support back (sounds like someone we know...coughkataracough)

- non-benders having their roles being downplayed, and I don’t mean the Equalists being scary and then poofing out of existence after the first season. Benders get to be in all the action, but non-benders are mainly left out and only brought in to prop up the benders 

- immemorable/bad lines/immemorable characters (I can’t remember who was in what spot lol)

- the Spirit World looking more like Spirited Away rather than what it originally was (someone drew a bunch of Spirited Away LoK AU and I thought it was a bunch of Spirited Away screencaps until I saw little kid!Ko/rra and was like “????”)

- “spirits should live in harmony with humans” - world proceeds to get invaded with “spirit vines” along with ATLA fans going “wait what about spirits like Koh the Face-Stealer or an angry Hei Bai”

- non-con kisses. love triangles. didn’t need that but okay

- WHO PUT A WESTERN WEDDING IN AN ASIAN WORLD. WHY ARE YOU WEARING WHITE. DID SOMEONE DIE. 

- wait i just looked up the screenshots for that wedding and now i’m mad again

- WHY IS THERE A EUROPEAN DRESS HERE. GET THIS OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CRACK MY KNUCKLES AND REDESIGN A WHOLE DRESS FOR Z/HU LI

- I do not care if they’re Water Tribe. This world was inspired by China, we’re applying the full-on white outfit = mourning color to all nations because I can and I will do that.

- relationships having drama and I mean the type of drama that makes you groan and turn off the TV

- Bo/leska being played for laughs (switch the genders and this whole ship is a nightmare upon nightmare)

- Tenzi/n looking like an A/ang clone and doesn’t even have a hint of anything to suggest he’s half SWT - would it have killed the designers to give him Water Tribe arm wrappings???? 

- okay I said i wasn’t going to talk about the Gaang but I’m talking about Tenz/in so whatever. anyways neither T/enzin nor any of his kids look like they have SWT heritage and like. skin color can skip a generation and get into another. One of the Cloud grandkids could at least be a little tan instead of the entire family being the same skin tone. Ik/ki could’ve had hair loopies. Me/elo could’ve had a SWT name, and R/ohan could’ve been a waterbender.

- Ko/rra going to confront Zah/eer with Mak/o, everyone thinks that because Ma/ko was with her for a very emotional time that they’re probably going to get together because that makes sense, right? Heck, both of them are there for each other in the Big Emotional Scenes.

- The framing of the K/orra-Za/heer confrontation - Zahee/r is higher than her/is equal to her height, visually symbolizing that he still has power over her. This is very different from TSR where Ka/tara faces down her demon (Y/on Rha), all cards are in her hands, he’s sitting on the ground while she’s standing tall. 

there’s probably more but I’ve salted enough for now

https://www.deviantart.com/asterianmonarch/art/2020-Summary-of-Art-Template-Blank-860019847

Welp, it's been another year, 12 month, 52 weeks, like 360 something days, certainly happened... Even if I wish it hadn't in the way it had.... Oh well.

Arts about the only consistiantly positive elements in my life and I'd say I've made soem progress, tho not as much as I'd like.

So let's go month by month!

January features one of my neopets oc, Streeps, a wizard ixi! I loved, and still love, how this piece came together, the pose is fun, the background is atmospheric, and the colours are niceee, it's fun to play with simplistic background while I learn them!

Febuary we have my awful, terrible, conniving, bratty twins, Siann and Safaia. I love them so much, they're meant to be pretty low level villains in intelegence and physical strength, but both are very crafty and seem to be able to fumble their way to success now and then! This was both of them being redesigned and I'm so happy with it, feel like they look way more related now!

March brought my farewell project to su, one of the few fandoms I've made a bunch of fan art for, and that I've followed since the pilot dropped, I love and miss that show to this day, flaws and all, can't love paswg and say SU had too many problems. 😅😂

Speaking of problems, Rose...oooh boiiii is there some big issues with her actions and behaviours at times but... Damn is that one hell of a design, I mean both designs tbh, Dylan wouldn't have her ominous eye shadows in December's pic if Rose had never existed. 😂

Anyway I picked this one of my whole series bc I think it look nicest of the set, but I do still adore my Garnet pic that started the month, so honorable mention to that!

April brought the 6 fanart challege, bc 2020 is year of the challenge I guess 😂

Peach is such a comfort character, when ever I see her I just want a long hug, some how I don't think I've drawn her before seriously, so it was really nice to make some art of her, pretty sure this was the only one in the challenge with that level of shading. 😂 I need to draw peach again, feel free to suggest outfits of versions of her!

May has my redesign of shihosu, tbh I think that may be my favourite image of the whole year, I'm so proud of my development of her species and her individually and I love love love her, sadly I know I gotta simplify her a bit for ease while making the comic cuz she's important to the plot. But mmmm I am in love with her new design so bad.

June was a commission piece featuring a goregous monster design, find out more here https://www.deviantart.com/kaimactrash/art/Drawolfie-Trade-3-844906161 .

I love how it came out, I drew one sketch and the person asked me to change the pose and it was 100% the right descion, I love how the final piece came out ❤️❤️❤️

July is the introduction of two characters who I love very much and will be the main drive of the first arc in the frenrar comic! They're very personal and precious to me, and I hope I can do them justice in my writing and art!

August is a close contender of my fave of the year, but since it was a dtiys ill hold shihosu at 1st place. 😝

I had sooooooo much fun with that one, the colours the lighting, the pose, I'm just real happy with how it looks.

September I remeber being a month i was damn near unable to focus for more than a few hours, so kept making art I didn't love, but I quite like how the checkers piece with my oc Griep Tavros came out. I have a real soft spot for her and I'm really happy with her design.

October brought the OC-tober challenge, and so 31 days of art, still, the top spot was not as close as I'd expect, then again... I'm probably very bias to shihosu, I adore her.

November I simped for the milf witch Eda! I'd only watched a few episodes then, but now I've seen all of season 1 and I would die for eda, luz, and actually like 2/3rds of the cast tbh. 😂 I'd 100% checking out the owl house if you haven't yet!

And now, we find our selves in December.

I think this was the toughest month to pic as while I loooooove the Dylan pic, I do also love this pic of my new neosona, but Dylan won out, she's very good at getting her own way. 😂

about that 32+ year old t-stray who is highly associated with ciel star/evan

i wouldn’t be talking about t-stray if he wasn’t already highly associated with ciel star, had known him for 4+ years, saw the ins and outs of his “kin” bullshit grooming tactics, and knew that evan was talking to underage kids in those groups as well... and was literally there when I spoke to evan for the first time to agree or not to agree to doctrinaire me into that group while I was underaged. he says he didn’t know what went on during that period of time, but that is literally bullshit for the fact of how many people he did that same tactic with many other indivuals who knew evan, and became of a victim of his. basically he knew much more than he lets on about evan, and saw A EXTREME amount of the grooming that went on throughout the events. 

he made some fanfic with some whole ass pedophile chromehoplite, just a regular pedophile in the seba/ciel fandom.. nothing shocking, but like i said i’m talking about this because it’s related to evan. t-stray talked about making a comic about a “aged” up ciel, who in canon is a young child, to justify his rights to sexualize a child because he aged him up for the specific reason of sexualizing him and of course- t-stray said that is not the case.. and it’s for just the purpose of writing ciel in more “mature” situations.

here is something t-stray said about the “fic”: 

- Rust & Stardust is not a “pedo fic”, the main characters are adults, it’s an alternate universe where all characters are (sound and look as) adults. There’s no child sexualization and not an implicit attempt (at some antis seem to think) to imagine Ciel as a child, in a sexual situation, while writing it, literally, that defiles the purpose of what an underage character may have a “charm for a pedo” the fact they are depicted as adults. I refuse to accept now that authors are not allowed to age up characters because they are thinking of them as a child, is bold to believe being a mind reader and quite an inquisition-mindset to asume all who do are trying to automatically normalize pedophilia by creating content.

“depicted” as adults.. is bullshit. want to know why i believe that? is because a minor can be thought of as a adult because of how they look physically. it happens often, we see someone who looks older, we think their an adult.. but it happens to be they are underage. that happens all the time, that’s reality. not every minor looks like how t-stray defines “looking like a child”... beside that, here is something he drew of “aged” up ciel: 

the op post is linked here  but it has nsfw in it, i blocked out some of it, but the tags are very important. ciel is a child, you are just “aging” which just basically means fitting a child into a “grown man” body so you can treat it as though its not inherientally pedophillia.. bc he’s a “man” now. anyways, here is something he said about critism (people telling him hes a pedophile for it) 

here is another thing t-stray said in this following post he made: 

- It seems is being assumed I’m a shipper since I have shipper friends, part of being an adult is knowing you can be friends with someone without agreeing on their tastes. Enough said, I want to create content without involving any “ship fawn” or romantic content, I want to explore other types of narrative. Stop putting me in the same bag only because I collab with other creators that do like the ship.´This kind of bigotry is insane, I’ve been called pedophile only for saying I don’t hate shippers. Content creators are bieng pushed away from the fandom because none wants to recieve death threats and accusations of  real child abuse over a drawing they made or a fic they wrote. The human spectrum is huge and has a lot more complications than “being on my side or not”

the person, chromehoplite, he is co-writing this fanfic of a “aged up” ciel has written countless pedophilic writings about ciel, “aged up” or not. t-stray drew those drawings above for chromehoplite to go with this writing which is nsfw. regular sebaciel pedophiles... just the whole thing, but what t-stray said is being “assumed as a shipper bc i have shipper friends”... you don’t just collab with these creators, you draw them pedophilic art to fit that narrative. being friends with pedophiles, and knowing full well they are a pedophile- makes you also a full whole ass pedophile.. because you see nothing wrong with it.. and continue to make material for them. evan had the same rhetoric he shared publically, fiction vs reality, and thinking that as long as the child is aged up to a adult.. you can fictionally sexualize it. it’s clear how that worked out for him. 

unforunately the reality of the black butler fandom, is it is 90% filled with adults who cosume and create pedophilic content. i’m sure if you have been in the fandom long enough (or just seen the tag for 1 minute) you can for sure see that is the case..... we of course can’t take down every single pedophile in the fandom sense there are way to many of them to count, and evan/ciel star is one of them as we all know now. what i want to say is that i believe full well that t-stray is just as complict to the crimes that happened under his watch while being close with ciel star/ evan, because he allowed evan to constantly bring in more and more new underage minors into the kin groups. he was the reason i was APPROVED to be brought into evan’s group, and including many other people.

EDIT: ALSO! quick note, t-stray kinned sebastian at the time of knowing each other, and is infact why they were so close in the first place which gives more to the “sebaciel fantasy”. evan and t-stray did have sexual history. there is sufficent proof to prove this from many people who were around both of them when they were together. this among many other things, is something important to keep in mind. thank you

EDIT EDIT: 

if you have anymore information regarding t-stray, please feel free to talk to me. 

So uhhhh I drew a lot of RWBY this year... only two of these are non RWBY and tbh I could have just as easily put something RWBY for June Template

Retrospective under the cut bc it’s LONG 

RETROSPECTIVE January: First piece of the year! I still like this piece and I think it shows how much I improved from the original version of it. Also I just like looking at it bc it's soft content of my rare pair. I do think I made the rose look photorealistic which looks... bad esp with all the other more stylized flowers, and I got lazy with the bleeding hearts by just drawing one set and flipping them. Emerald's hair also could look better. February:  I made this around GNG week, which was a fun, good time, long before the server imploded on itself. I got really lazy with the backgrounds, obviously, but I do like the poses in this one, tho it helped that I based it off of screenshots from Young Justice. I also just really like how Merc looks in this one. March: March wasn't a very prolific month for art, I don't think I produced much besides this and one comic piece for GNG week. I'm not sure why exactly, I can't find any specific reason why I would be unproductive that month. I'm gonna just assume I was drained from work all the time and didn't have the energy to put out good art, and also I was getting into a slump bc all my art was starting to look same-y. This piece isn't very good, but I chose it because I did it without a reference, and at this point that was going out of my comfort zone. It's obviously not super dynamic, but at the very least you can tell I intended there to be motion to it. April: This also wasn't a very prolific month for art, not as bad as March, but for the same reasons. I was also really starting to feel burnout from the RWBY fandom, specifically wasps and conflict within the GNG server. This was also when the Art vs the Artist meme was popular, and I realized I didn't want to do that meme because my art was too similar and boring, which also brought me down a peg. Though I put out a few good chibis in April, I chose my Mercury redesign bc I was really proud of it. I could never get the Emerald redesign to mesh quite right, but I can say I'm really proud of how Mercury's came out. May: May had me bounce out of my art slump and in full force trying to expand my skills! Specifically exploring painting. Although May was about as prolific as April, what I did create I put a lot into. It was difficult to pick between this and my app of Edison, because I'm really proud of both, but in the end I went with this commission of Mercury because I pushed myself to try and use an interesting perspective for the piece instead of my usual stand still and face the camera pose. Because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, this was one of the best things I made all year, and may be my favorite piece of the year. June: TIME TO STRESS OUT ABOUT CONNECTICON! So if you follow me on twitter, you might have noticed I made a lot of posts at the beginning of the year low key throwing shade at myself for drawing my oc's instead of more "important" art. Well, that important art that I was procrastinating was con merch, and con was the second week of July, so I really had to get my ass in gear to finish merch on time (spoiler, I didn't finish a lot of it on time). This piece and July's piece are both posters I made for Connecticon, and while I like July's much better, that doesn't mean I find this piece bad. I really should have known that no one at con would realize it was a goonies reference tho -_-; I also lost a lot of love for this piece after season 6 of Voltron, which I watched while I was about 60% of the way through this piece, so I had to force myself to finish it. July: I love this piece!!!! Don't get me wrong, I know it has flaws, but look at it! The lines are so crisp, the colors look good, Roman and Merc's expressions are mwuah chefs kiss, and I just love all of them!!! ... except for Neo. I really didn't do her justice in this piece, her hair is too fluffy, her head is way to oversized to the point that she looks like a bobblehead, and her eyes are too close together. Really if you take out Neo's head that whole problem goes away. I also love all the tiny details I put in this one, from emerald's chaps to roman's rose to Neo's lace parasol. You can tell I was way more passionate about this piece than I was about the Voltron piece.  August:  pretty sure this is when I quit my job cashiering, and thank god bc customers suck. If I was going off of sheer popularity, Chibi Pyrrha would have taken this slot no contest, and while I love chibi Pyrrha, I don't think it was the best of the month. I chose this little princess and the pauper au doodle because I tried a year ago to draw these two dancing, and it looked like dog shit. It was flat and ugly. But this has motion to it, and even looking at it now makes me feel warm and happy inside. It's just a good cute drawing of my otp. September: My piece for the RWBY tarot project! I have a lot of mixed emotions about this one. on the one hand, I love how mercury looks, his expression, the lighting, the visceral gore from his legs (ESPECIALLY THE VISCERAL GORE ON HIS LEGS) and the hands of the undead, all look stunning and I don't think I could be more happy with how they turned out. And then we get to the background. The caduceus isn't the worst thing ever, but it's severely lacking in quality compared to the rendering on mercury in front of it, and a lot of it is clearly pixellated from me trying to stretch and squash it just right. And the fire is a hot (no pun intended) mess. It's flat, incoherent, and doesn't lead the eye anywhere. It's a shame too because I wanted to do more with it, but I a) didn't have enough time or patience to figure out what I needed to do to fix it and b) didn't want to go outside of my comfort level, so I gave up and decided to be satisfied with what I had. October: October was another good month for art, I made a turnaround sheet for Moss, painted a full body (and slightly lewd) Rudy, and made a decent attempt at inktober. Ok, so I got like 2 days in, but I improved a lot on inking from last year! Fun fact! this piece was originally going to be fan art of Lindsay Jones, but after I did some thumbnails to figure out a pose, I thought it would suit White Diamond better, and I could also sell it as merch. I love this piece. I think I captured the sinister mood well, and conveyed the story I wanted to without any dialogue (at least the notes on Tumblr make me assume I did a decent job, lotta people really wigged out lol) I really worked hard to get the lighting right on this one, and I think it shows. My absolutely favorite thing about this piece funnily enough, is Amethyst. I think I just did a great job drawing her and I'm proud of myself ok. Stevens bubble and my trouble figuring out how to get WD's leg just right are the only things that I dislike about this piece, but I might go back and fix those. November: IM SO PROUD OF THIS COMMISSION!!!!!! I worked so god damn hard on this chef's kiss poifect,  and it really shows. I started using a new brush at this point, the Ojing series on Clip Studio Paint, which I recommend and have been using a lot since. I've also been using this shading technique since drawing this. I love how it sort of fades out but it's still really crisp. I also love all the little details that give this piece character, like her shoes and the stripes on her jacket. This piece really takes a lot of the stuff I learned over the year and combines it into one piece, and I could not be prouder of it. I have absolutely no problems with this one, though I do find the weapon a bit plain, but it's what the client described. December: AND NOW IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!! I had been working on this piece since August, going back to it every now and then and getting frustrated. I'm really glad I came back to it and finally finished it, since I love this pair and I put a lot of effort into it back in August. However, I'm also really glad I completely overhauled a lot of it, specifically the flowers. Though I'm not 100% happy with the mums in this one, they look a thousand times better than the mums I had originally sketched back in August, and were part of the reason I had such a hard time finishing this for months. I also thought it would be nice to end the year on the same note it started; with a flower couple. I've definitely learned a lot since January, and I hope to continue growing in 2019! 2019 GOALS!

Work on backgrounds for the love of god

Draw more stuff that isn't RWBY

Perspective

Make more speed paints and post more to youtube in general

was trying to think of a way to divide up ocs on toyhouse so i don’t get too embarrassed about them yesterday but then it turned into just trying to list like every character i’ve ever made the vast majority of them i’d never put on toyhouse lol. but this was fun for myself even though i definitely forgot chracters and even whole stories from when i was younger

kinda old (definitely need updating they’re from when i was 17/18 and haven’t done much in recent years but nonetheless are my most recent ocs and i would probably like to do something with them someday still):

all the alienated characters - raul and michael primarily, also side characters like their relatives (lennie, joaquin, marcell, maybe also shinsuke, natalia, nina, naomi, hana, leela, etc) and friends (still need to name them lol) etc

justicia (less set on doing her story any time soon compared to alienated, but still theres something to it i might want to work with someday)

pretty old (like i was 16-17)

gf debate characters (this is actually older than a lot of the ones i list as even older in this list but i kept working on them til i was like 17 so they hold up better even if i don’t want to finish making their story anymore) - isaac, micah (micah is literally kinda from when i was 12 lol but i brought her to like 3 different stories and she was a boy in the first one too so shes basically not that character anymore), and then side characters like mirabel (originated in same story at 12 as micah), ayçin, anna, micahs mom and her wife, micahs cousin (another one from that old story) etc

those ocs that literally none of them have names or barely personalities i only ever did character sketches and basic concepts but its like a ghost story thing i was gonna do - 12 y/o baby butch protag, the ghost girl, baby butch’s trans girl cousin, cousins trans guy friend

really old (characters from when i was like 14-15 that did not really develop much from there. most of these are characters i have had fun with and maybe drawn since but are goofy and don’t hold up in a lot of aspects and most of them i’ll probably never pick up for stories again)

football lesbians - monica, wanda, and rania

pigeon magical girls (technically maybe i actually finished a very abbreviated version of their origin story for a school art project when i was 15 lol but i planned to do more back then and now i dont want to) - zehra, ronni, the pigeon, probably not amy and zoë that was just a cameo for myself of ocs from when i was like 11 lol

naomi’s story (this one i might actually want to do something with someday, i wrote a short story about it plus a bit more, but i have to make some serious changes i don’t really think i thought of some of the implications of some stuff in it before) - just naomi and the ghost basically. not to be confused with naomi in alienated who is michael’s sister they are not at all the same person

assorted characters that never really had a story - mels and cvijeta, charlotte (thought about putting her in football lesbians. she does basketball but. jock wlw you know)

really really old (characters from late middle school, like 13-14)

uhhh that wizards story. it never had a name idk. i still kinda like them though tbh even if i’ll never do anything with them anymore - tess, ali, nataline, brandy, mo, remora, cnidarian

really really really old (characters from the middle of middle school, like 12-13. at this point my recollection of what came before what might be kinda off tho)

that fae folk in pennsylvania and ohio story - emilia, ilana, micah (first version! lol), mirabel, that boy that i just hate and don’t remember the name of and resent making a character that had a crush on micah, micahs cousin, darling/angel (a faerie that just went by terms of endearment as if they were names), uhhh the second group of characters in a different more rural town i tried to write that i dont remember the names of

haunted victorian house story - benji, aisha, elizabeth

updated onex arget (fantasy world i wrote about a lot when i was in elementary school) story - nai, rieae

idk this story never had a name and barely a plot beyond ivy and victor becoming friends and venting to each other - victor, ivy, miles, maitê

forks and spoons (story i improvised with my little cousin who was like 8 at the time lol) - florimundi(?), i’m forgetting literally all 3 of the other characters names lol (maybe reese and victor for two of them??? but maybe not bc those are also other very old characters that idk if i reused the names of)

theo and ted - theoni and theodore (aka theo and ted!), oh also that guy they meet who wears like. a trench coat iirc

super old (characters from the later half of the 6th grade and early 7th, like 12ish)

really dumb story about a closeted trans person with did getting transformation powers - i actually dont remember the main character and their main other alters names anymore, i remember the other character they had a crush on stephan though

all those characters in bands that i never actually could settle on a story for beyond a variety of interpersonal drama. very inspired by the webcomic jenny hanniver tbh - avery, mark, etti, adrian, xavier, pepper, uhhh theres literally So Many more of them and also so many i dont remember the names of anymore but just for some that come to mind. that periwinkle colored hair in a bowl cut character that always wore a beanie who was in avery’s band whos names on the tip of my tongue (maybe that was etti and the character i’m calling etti was called something else?? maybe victoria? maybe andy? maybe andy was an entirely different 3rd character?? idk. actually yeah i’m positive bowlcut character was etti rereading this), xaviers ex-boyfriend who was obsessed with homestuck (lmao), that guy with red hair i accidentally directly ripped off the design of some jenny hanniver character, that goth guy with braces and glasses (maybe he wasnt in this?), that screamo band with 2 lead singers, that guy with brown hair that said he was straight with an exception (msfdkjghhsfd god), that person with the emo haircut in flame colors, this literally is not even all the characters lol

extremely old (largely from 6th grade, like age 11ish. weird period of time where i suddenly wanted to write about romance but thought it had to be straight but then very quickly was like ‘wait actually nvm i have a laptop now and think i’m bicurious i’m only gonna write about gay people)

gsa story (this might have been the summer before 7th actually but it feels distinctly before the other stuff in the last category so idk maybe just my whole impression of when i made things for middle school is off) - emmy(?), allie(?), noah(???), some other kid, i think noah(?) or the other kid got reused to be the guy i regretted making a part of that faerie story who liked old micah lol, maybe more kids, their teacher

idk that kid with blue hair and black eyes with white irises and his sister

middle school lesbians - leah and cass

lesbian who works in food service and there were weird references to comic books but filtered through me referencing an obscure emo humor youtube channel that made jokes about comics i’d never read - amy, zoë, amy’s straight best friend i dont remember the name of??

tosca (this wasnt straight romance but it was like the last thing pre me always having lgbt main characters) - idk. there were two characters i drew like once. theres nothing to note about this except wanting to make it is what made me learn about webcomics

that story i posted the first chapter of on quibblo about a hippie girl (somehow in 2010?? dont ask me) and an emo boy liking each other before abandoning to never write about cishet romance again. didnt even get to the romance part lol - i forget her name. maybe it was april? maybe it was florimundi and i reused it later for another character, nix, reese (her goth lesbian best friend. thank god for reese)

first attempt at straight romance. also about like. idk. fantastical powers in clouds in providence rhode island - selia, shay, cassandra, selias other friend i forget the name of??

ancient (literally elementary school ocs. obviously theres a lot of grades covered here but its just my memory and ability to reference this is so loose idk if i could even try to accurately divide it further)

shadow magic - mezzaluna, her aunt tabby(?), alexa

a, j, & j (barely counts i didnt do anything with them. those are the only characters also)

arine (some of these characters might not be arine characters and just from other onex arget (fantasy world i wrote a bunch of stories in and made a shitty conlang for and stuff) stories but i just dont really remember) - lia, lias sister, dibujurm, that other fantastical creature who was friends with dibujurm i forget the name of that kinda looked like calcifer from howls moving castle but fuzzy not an actual fire (maybe isigo??), emiaelaesa, that obnoxious prince (i think the story was called arine bc that was his name?), the prince’s servant, there absolutely were more

the musical adventures of shiri and don - shiri, don, some evil villain and his henchmen

rosington (there were like no characters besides her. weird junie b jones rip off with nonsensical humor to everyone but me)

that tree prophecy story (maybe set in onex arget?) - nico, emi (?? maybe not her name), their uncle (i forget his name, maybe lester?), their uncles shipmates, that fortune teller

idk some kid that goes on a scavenger hunt to solve a mystery on vacation in like bermuda or something where he meets some quirky girl character who helps him. thats all

i had some characters that started out as me trying to draw characters from the book hoot by carl hiaasen but for some reason then turned into my own ocs and looked nothing like those characters were described and also basically had nothing to do with them in personality and action beyond name after a while. - beatrice and napoleon. this was in a phase where i got a ‘how to draw anime’ book and napoleon straight up looked like a yugioh character his hair was ridiculous

those fake siblings i made up and lied to a substitute teacher in kindergarten about me having 6 siblings because of for absolutely no reason even though i only have one sibling irl

imaginary friends i shared with my brother and then made stories about - theres so many of these, the most important though was chick-chick-chick. who was a very small chick who wore a top hat. and then he had a family(?) of infinitely smaller chicks (chick-chick-chick-chick, for example) the more “chicks” you added to the name

two blogs part 4

“for best effect listen to the themes of the rohirrim while reading this. the rockin violin solos are all too short, eheu. I wonder what instruments the Rohirrim actually play, how amazing would it be if the soundtrack were entirely made of instruments specific to the people of whatever location they’re in?”

let’s take a soothing sleepy trip to scenic

HELM’S DEEP

... since I only ever listened to audiobooks of this I didn’t realize that it was the deep of Helm. Who’s Helm? I hope that Tolkien in his pseudo-Hugo-esque fashion will have some characters discuss the history and naming of Helm’s Deep. As our heroes ride northwest along the foot of the White Mountains, Gandalf asks Legolas what he can see at Isengard. The answer: something is veiling his sight with shadow. Also I’m kind of sad that we don’t get any elves with glasses because perfect sight is a racial trait... no wait what if a lot of elves need reading glasses because they’re farsighted. LEGOLAS WITH READING GLASSES. Galadriel needs them too but she doesn’t notice because she’s never tried to read anything since she’s a jock.

As the second day of their riding drew on, the heaviness in the air increased. In the afternoon the dark clouds began to overtake them: a sombre canopy with great billowing edges flecked with dazzling light. The sun went down, blood-red in a smoking haze.

I’m kind of weirdly gratified that Tolkien recognizes the atmospheric conditions that result in a red sunset. You can’t just go around declaring bloody sunsets willy-nilly! The sun looks red when scattered through particulates! I’m trying to remember right now which sizes of particulates, which I should know bc I had a job in quantum materials last summer, but I’m really in more of a mythic mindset at the moment. Oh well. The king’s party meets the party defending Rohan from the soldiers and hill-men of Isengard. They’re going to withdraw to Helm’s Deep... I don’t know exactly what Saruman wants? Is he just trying to wipe the Rohirrim out, or is he looking for some kind of resource they have?

Aha! It turns out Tolkien is going to go full Hugo and not even bother putting his exposition in dialogue form. Helm’s Deep is behind a coomb (a coomb!!) that lets into a gorge in the “crow-haunted cliffs” (yess). Gorge implies a river, right? And there’s also a fort there. I feel like a crow-haunted gorge is the perfect place for a fort. It’s named after HELM THE HAMMERHAND (YES!) and it’s also known as the Hornburg because canyon acoustic make warhorns echo imposingly (hell yes). And now as the king’s party (minus Gandalf, who has some kind of errand to run--maybe he’s going to bring Lorien elves to help out?) rides toward the Deep, they hear “the rumor of war behind them.” This is good dictionnnn I love “the rumor of war.” I love the concept of “rumor” as an indistinct sound that conveys imprecisely that war is coming, in the same way that a game of telephone conveys imprecisely the phrase “at dawn on the third day, look to the east.” I’m being weird. whatever. So much time has been spent in this chapter before they even get to Helm’s Deep (or maybe I’m blogging too much) BUT here we have another thing, which is that the rumor of war is mostly... singing. They know the orcs by their singing (hi Orcsong!) “They saw torches countless points of fiery light upon the black fields behind, scattered like red flowers.” What a pretty image. Just so y’all know, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna write orc fanfictions.

Gimli at least is pleased to come to Helm’s Dike.

'This is more to my liking,' said the dwarf, stamping on the stones. 'Ever my heart rises as we draw near the mountains. There is good rock here. This country has tough bones. I felt them in my feet as we came up from the dike. Give me a year and a hundred of my kin and I would make this a place that armies would break upon like water.'

'I do not doubt it,' said Legolas. 'But you are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk. I do not like this place, and I shall like it no more by the light of day. But you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and your hard axe. I wish there were more of your kin among us.’

That’s gay. ::) Also Gimli feeling out the material properties of the stone by stomping on it. He is also both sleepy and restless, a feeling I can relate to constantly. Then the orcs show up; there’s a neat bit of cinematography with a flash of lightning and the word “boiling.” You’ll have to imagine it. Aragorn and Eomer are standing next to each other yelling about their swords. I like this bit:

A shout went up from wall and tower: 'Andúril! Andúril goes to war. The Blade that was Broken shines again!'

because it’s really ambiguous whether it’s like, just Aragorn shouting this. Or he went around talking up his sword and now everyone’s really excited about it? Aragorn shut up about your sword for five minutes. Your worth is not determined by the pedigree of your blade. Anyway there’s a lot of fighting. Everyone is exhausted. Gimli is missing. Legolas is pretending he’s not worried; no, he just really wants to tell Gimli that he has now killed thirty-nine people. They’re having a creepy contest. Aren’t both their peoples supposed to be generally peaceable?? What is wrong with them? Theoden frets, feeling imprisoned and unhopeful about his men’s chances. No, he will ride out. And Aragorn son of Arathorn will ride with him!

At dawn Aragorn stands on the wall, while the Uruk-hai politely inform him, several times, that they are the fighting Uruk-hai and they have a lot of guys to kill him with. Hey, did you know they are the fighting Uruk-hai? Also all their dialogue seems to be attributed to multiple people at once, so one can only imagine them chorusing “We are the fighting Uruk-hai!” like schoolchildren.

Aragorn jumps down just as they blow up the part of the wall he was standing on, and goes to find Theoden so they can Ride Forth. As they do they realize a forest has appeared in the coomb. The enemy forces outside are so not prepared to face cavalry, they are so scared. AND Gandalf is back! AND! He brought Erkenbrand, a Rohir who they were making a really big deal of earlier but I didn’t bother to blog about it because he didn’t seem important.

All right that was way too much blogging for a chapter with so little content. Let’s get on our way on

THE ROAD TO ISENGARD

It turns out that “at dawn on the third day, look to the east” WAS the result of a hilarious game of telephone:

'Unlooked-for?' said Gandalf. 'I said that I would return and meet you here.'

'But you did not name the hour, nor foretell the manner of your coming.’

Lmao.

Oh, I also missed the fact that during the chapter break (while my brain was in the bathroom at the movie theater of life) the Rohirrim won the battle. Gandalf wants to take everyone to Isengard to beat up Saruman and call him mean names, which I wholly support. I also like that he devotes a good amount of text to the cleanup and burial after the battle. Legolas and Gimli banter some more about how much [trees/caves] make them uncomfortable and how they would love to live forever in [caves/trees]. Did Tolkien actually just have them become friends to be a Comic Cultural Understanding Duo. Gimli goes on for a good while about how beautiful the cave system of Helm’s Deep is. He is sooooo into these caves, it’s really endearing. The caves are full of gorgeous natural rock formations (sorry this is a big pull quote coming up, but it’s good and beautiful and gay so pls read it)--

'No, you do not understand,' said Gimli. 'No dwarf could be unmoved by such loveliness. None of Durin's race would mine those caves for stones or ore, not if diamonds and gold could be got there. Do you cut down groves of blossoming trees in the spring-time for firewood? We would tend these glades of flowering stone, not quarry them. With cautious skill, tap by tap - a small chip of rock and no more, perhaps, in a whole anxious day - so we could work, and as the years went by, we should open up new ways, and display far chambers that are still dark, glimpsed only as a void beyond fissures in the rock. And lights, Legolas! We should make lights, such lamps as once shone in Khazad-dûm; and when we wished we would drive away the night that has lain there since the hills were made; and when we desired rest, we would let the night return.'

'You move me, Gimli,' said Legolas. 'I have never heard you speak like this before. Almost you make me regret that I have not seen these caves. Come! Let us make this bargain-if we both return safe out of the perils that await us, we will journey for a while together. You shall visit Fangorn with me, and then I will come with you to see Helm's Deep.'

There’s some more stuff I count of little consequence, some ents, some bodies, a river that isn’t. They camp out for the night and a great blackness passes by them. This was actually a bunch of ents, I’m not sure how they failed to notice. Even on the blackest night, wouldn’t you be able to tell if trees were walking past you? Also the river suddenly comes back. Strange times, strange times. They get up and keep riding.

Suddenly a tall pillar loomed up before them. It was black; and set upon it was a great stone, carved and painted in the likeness of a long White Hand. Its finger pointed north. Not far now they knew that the gates of Isengard must stand.

This is such a good image.

The plain, too, was bored and delved. Shafts were driven deep into the ground; their upper ends were covered by low mounds and domes of stone, so that in the moonlight the Ring of Isengard looked like a graveyard of unquiet dead--for the ground trembled.

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IMAGE. Also you can tell Saruman is evil because he outlawed plants. Look, even evil people still need green stuff to live. I was thinking earlier today about the trauma of being forced to live in cities where (in addition to all the other reasons it is bad) there are not many green things. Tolkien uses “hating plants” as a signifier of evil and inhumanity, and like, I guess. But if you’re going to posit all these thinking peoples... actually you know humans have a need for green stuffs because of where they were made. Maybe orcs really do not like green stuffs, and it makes them uneasy, because they were made specifically for the purpose of destroying nice things. So their psyches were made to match. IDK what Saruman’s problem is. Tell me about maia psychology, Johnald.

...and within the circle of Isengard’s walls, a sea of boiling water, filled with flotsam and jetsam. Oh shoot that would have been a great transition, I think that’s the title of the next chapter. No matter, the point is it’s very confusing to Theoden and his men to look on the stronghold of Saruman utterly shattered, and see no-one who could have done it... except two very small people sitting on a ruined wall, picnicking and smoking.

'Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!' he said. 'We are the doorwardens. Meriadoc, son of Saradoc is my name; and my companion, who, alas! is overcome with weariness' - here he gave the other a dig with his foot - 'is Peregrin, son of Paladin, of the house of Took. Far in the North is our home.’

This cheeky lad. Bless you Meriadoc. Theoden introduces himself, and Merry for some reason starts infodumping about the history of pipeweed in the Shire. But now is not the time, says Gandalf!! We need to go see Treebeard >::(

'Farewell, my hobbits!’ said Théoden. ‘May we meet again in my house! There you shall sit beside me and tell me all that your hearts desire: the deeds of your grandsires, as far as you can reckon them; and we will speak also of Tobold the Old and his herb-lore. Farewell!'

The hobbits bowed low. 'So that is the King of Rohan!' said Pippin in an undertone. 'A fine old fellow. Very polite.'