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sshbpodcast · 5 months

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Wake me when Season 1 of Enterprise gets interesting

by Ames

Season one of Enterprise just seemed to fly by, and thank goodness because we’re not finding it all that great, to be honest. Too much of it feels like more of the same stories that previous Treks have already told way better, but with less likable characters, less nuanced writing, and so much sexual objectification that we feel ill just watching it sometimes.

Sure, it’s still probably better than season one of TNG, which had more objectively BAD episodes, but it’s surprising to your hosts here at A Star to Steer Her By just how boring this show is so far. We’ve noted a bunch of times over in our podcast coverage that there never seems to be any stakes because every opportunity for some character (main, side, guest, even background) to get killed, they never do. So grab your phase pistol and see what we had to wade through to get here in our usual bottom and top episodes from the season below and also in this week’s podcast chat (jump to 56:26 for season discussion). Cap’n.

[images © CBS/Paramount]

Bottom Three Episodes

There was a lot to dislike this season and I’m pretty sure we covered most of this season’s dreck in our typically varied responses here. Good work, “Cold Front,” you managed to squeak through somehow despite that terrible airlock scene.

“The Andorian Incident”: Ames If you’ve been following along with our podcast coverage, you’re probably as tired of me hating on Archer as I am of Archer hating on Vulcans, and this is where that sour taste really transpired. It’s a whole episode of our captain going lightyears out of his way to ruin some Vulcans’ day and then patting himself on the back for being justified about being so racist.

“Silent Enemy”: Chris Talk about uneven. What was almost an intriguing suspense episode about the crew being wholly unprepared for the kinds of enemies you find in space is thoroughly undercut by a mismatched B plot that, while cute, is distracting as hell, and by some really laughable alien design. At least Reed gets some pineapple cake.

“Fight or Flight”: Jake Poor Sluggo, we hardly knew thee. Boy, does this show start off with characters it’s just hard to care about. We’ve got Hoshi being pathetic in an “overcoming your fears” plotline so predictable I could have called every beat. And Archer simultaneously being indecisive and whining about his decisions at the same time. And then the metaphor with releasing the slug doesn’t even mesh!

“Fortunate Son”: Jake While it’s unfortunate how little Mayweather gets to do, I can’t say I feel that bad about it considering that everything he does get to do in this episode is annoying as hell. We’d love to see more about his upbringing as a boomer and the culture clash therein, but this episode botches it hard by making all the Fortunate crew assholes!

“Broken Bow”: Caitlin, Chris The whole series really gets off on the wrong foot with a premiere that is simultaneously too little and too much all at once. Between the Klingons, the Suliban, the Vulcans, the flashback scenes with Archer’s dad, the weird time room with the Humanoid Figure, AND introducing us to the whole crew, there are too many things happening, but absolutely none of them are interesting!

“Dear Doctor”: Ames, Caitlin All season long, we’ve been struggling with what we think of the Phlox character, and it mostly boils down to us finding him offputting. So of course the most Phlox-centric episode is in our bottoms list. Certainly helping matters is the fact that both Phlox AND the writers don’t understand evolution at all and use that as an excuse to genocide a people. Oops.

“Fusion”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake But the one that gets votes from all your SSHB hosts is the episode that sexually exploits the token hot character, as always. Hang on, that doesn’t narrow it down. It’s the one with the mind rapist Vulcan who takes advantage of T’Pol, entirely muddying whatever message about Vulcans this whole season was trying to make. Turns out they’re ALL just monsters, but in different ways, except for one you’ll see in our top episodes.

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Top Three Episodes

It’s hard to call these “top” episodes of anything, as you’ll see we all pretty much agreed on two episodes this season that were genuinely enjoyable, and each of us frankly struggled to think of a third that we could see giving any accolades to...

“Acquisition”: Chris Listen, we don’t like it any more than you do, but there weren’t enough decent episodes this season and Chris had to include this retread of much better episodes. But you know what: the Ferengi hit us right in the fanservice spot, the veteran alumni are all pros, and aside from all the oomox, it was at least entertaining.

“Oasis”: Jake Back when we were covering season 2 of DS9, Jake put “Shadowplay” on his tops list, so it’s only fitting that he essentially do it again with this carbon copy of an episode. I guess there’s nothing wrong with doing the same idea twice when it’s a good one like this. It’s even got Rene Auberjonois! What’s not to like?

“Fallen Hero”: Caitlin One more “I know that face!” episode coaxing an emotional reaction out of us, which is almost certainly exactly what the show wanted to achieve. In this case, we have to give Fionnula Flanagan some credit for bringing some much needed nuance to the Vulcans, who badly needed it this season.

“Vox Sola”: Ames The final one-off episode that we scraped up to include on this list. And no, it’s not perfect by any stretch, but I have to give it some credit for giving us a truly alien alien, which I’m always a fan of watching our crew interact with. And T’Pol and Sato got to have some scenes together, which is a nice character pairing!

“Shockwave, Part I”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake Thank goodness for this season finale. Without it, I have no idea how deep into the bench we’d have to dig for other Top Episodes. But I have to hand it to this finale: this was the first time I felt like there were stakes and consequences. And what a cliffhanger! Say what you will about the Temporal Cold War, but seeing a ravaged 31st century scene sure makes things interesting.

“Shuttlepod One”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris, Jake But the one episode I can say we all legitimately liked this season was one of the great bottle episodes of Trek. Proving yet again that less is more, this little character piece leans on the acting chops of Connor Trineer and Dominic Keating, whose chemistry together is lovely to watch. Just super solid all around.

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Pass the pecan pie, the rocky road ice cream, and the pineapple cake; we’re on for dessert! We’re hoping season two shapes up better overall than this one, so find out with us as we watch along in our podcast coverage over on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts, bounce a message off of Echo One on Facebook and Twitter, and get me a spoon!

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troius · 2 years

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Bonus post inspired by that ask from @rays-of-fire-and-ice: my three worst Bleach chapters than nobody should read if they don’t have to, in descending order:

187. The Cigar Blues, Part Two. Look, I recognize Kubo had to reveal that Isshin was a Soul Reaper at some point, and it was never going to be pretty, given that it sorta undermines the basic shonen premise where the hero can’t look to his parents for help. I also understand that he needed to get rid of Grand Fisher somehow, since the story had outgrown him as a villain. But combining the two just makes the whole chapter seem sloppy where Bleach is usually impeccably precise. I have a half-written post in my drafts about why this chapter didn’t work, so at least it made me think about storytelling, but it’s not very good.

26. Paradise is Nowhere. Kon was originally introduced as kind of a sympathetic character, a fully sentient artificial soul who just wanted to exist like anybody else. Rather than explore this in a thoughtful way, this chapter decides that his angst is best expressed as hopeless sexual perversion, which unfortunately becomes the norm (with rare exceptions) for the rest of the manga. There are occasional bits of characterization (Ryo Kunieda!) that I took value in, so it’s not a total loss.

256. Infinite Slick. An entire chapter about how Pesche and Dondochakka are idiots. Why did Kubo think this was a good idea? How did his editor ever sign off on it? Did Weekly Shonen Jump consider apologizing to their readers for wasting their time with this nonsense? They should have!

#Bleach #bottom three

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duodamsel · 4 months

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#sexy tease #beauttiful girls #tumblr girls #beauties #three is company #perfect butt #great butt #bikni girls #thongbutt #thonglover #beautiful model #bootie peach #spankable bottom #cutie w a bootie #curvy body #curvy and cute #curvy girls #curvy chicks #thick hips

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blacktipreefsharkwizarding · 7 months

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OOC

seeing this become a common wizardposting thing I guess so if this gets 5k notes I’ll do one (1) iota of self care

#not shark #ooc also i kinda regret wrapping up the whole time plot line #because since shark is incapacitated (soul out of body and in someone else’s possession)#and time is back to the bottom of the ocean #I basically can’t do any wizardposting unless I make a new character #and three characters would be too much because this is my third gimmick blog anyways #I guess I’ve gotta be patient for the wizard who has BTRSW’s soul to do smth with it #but in the meantime it’s like #aahajajausj

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hyunpic · 1 month

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hyunjin x vogue taiwan: what’s in my bag?

#hyunjin #skz #stray kids #bystay #staydaily #gifs #he has all these fancy stuff like expensive sunglasses and cameras meanwhile i drag around my #drifted bag which includes three receipts in the bottom and a lighter and pack of cigarettes and a lipgloss

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7cfc00 · 4 months

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home is where the heart is (and yours is gone)

#happy holidays #dndads #dndads fanart #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #dndads s1 #glenn close dndads #dndads season 2 #dndads odyssey #dndads glenn close #im so sick and fever rn so forgive me for any mistakes in this drawing or in my following explanation #background is covered in crosses for the bad day book. the chains represent his time in meth bay prison #the three swords are a reference to the three of swords tarot card which means like heartbreak or smth #also can be taken literally because his heart exploded #the swords themselves are modelled after the sword of justice to bring in themes of justice and punishment as well as referencing the trial #i also drew the same sword in the blackjack thing.#bottom left is his funeral pyre (referencing his death) and nick jr (representing his son's “death”)#the door is the door to his apartment its number 48 because ep 48 is carry on my wayward son #christmas decor cus of course hed had them up all year round #the plant is a peace lily representing death and funeral s again #headstone is morgan's the crysanthemum represents her death. this is because its also featured in the “remember death” thing i drew once #also i just associate flowers w the close family because it very easily represents both mortality and love #anyway. fuckin. his heart (loved ones + literal heart) are gone and its like. can he ever return home #idk smth about not being able to go back to the way things were smth about having the comfort of a home anymore. leaving all that shit behi #d. i feel so tired #sorry for the long explanation i think i may have went a little too hard on the symbolism but i didn t know how else to #express the feelings of glenn's conversation w darryl in that one episode

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aq2003 · 3 months

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i have officially found my least favorite 10th doctor take in the entire world. this post was specifically crafted in a lab to make me fuming fucking mad

#chibnall of all people did better than all three of these in ONE episode i hate all of you #i say all three. i do not know what that thing is in the bottom right corner if my eyes lay upon it i'll burst into flames.#i desperately don't want to gatekeep but i also know if you're a ten fan m*ffat is ABSOLUTELY not one of your fav writers for him lol #dr who #10 era

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drippyboycunt · 8 months

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imagine stumbling into a bathroom and dropping to your knees to suck some pretty guy's tdick until he cums on your face

and while he's still blissed out, you pull down your pants and shove him to his knees so that he can return the favor

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mourninglamby · 6 months

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mothpool au doodles part 2. magical cats who would get 5150’d

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strawberryspence · 7 months

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inspired by the recent events (think of a singer and football player) and ofc, inspired by the brilliant, @henderdads, who has graciously allowed me to make this into a whole thing. 👀

check out the original post!

*i don’t know ANYTHING about the NFL, so sorry for the obvious mistakes*

”What do you mean?” Steve looks up from tying his shoelaces, and stares at his agent.

“Harrington, how many times do I have to say this?” Robin smirks at him, “He’s here. He’s sitting with Mama Joyce.”

Steve’s 100% sure a wire short circuits in his brain. He blinks rapidly at her before asking once again.

“Eddie Munson?”

Robin hums, “Ahuh.”

“Like the 12 time Grammy winner, Eddie Munson, from Corroded Coffin?”

Robin slaps a hand on her forehead, “Yes, Steve! Eddie Munson is in the stadium right now. You’re the one who asked me to arrange his seats.”

Steve jumps from the wooden benches, “I didn’t think he would come!”

Robin crosses her arms, “First of all, you were the one who made that bracelet with your number on it—“

“I WAS DRUNK!”

Robin puts up a finger, “You weren’t drunk when you brought it to his concert and asked Lucas Sinclair to hand it to him. You also weren’t drunk when you announced it on a podcast, when it could’ve been a secret for all of us to keep. Second of all, you whined and annoyed me until I finally caved in, called his publicist to finally arrange the whole thing and the thanks I get is more whining?!”

Oh no. Steve stares at her, as all of the things she said finally sinks in. Oh no. Eddie Munson is in the crowd. He came. Steve asked and Eddie came. He’s gonna watch Steve Harrington play. Weirdly, he wonders if this is what Eddie feels when he’s about to play sold out arenas. Steve’s never felt nervous to play, the field is— well— his comfort place and not once has he had this sense of dread to play. Not even when he had to play the Super Bowl.

"I didn't think he'd come!" Steve panics.

“Uh-oh. No time for panic attacks. The game starts in about 15 minutes.”

“Oh my god.” Steve groans as she pushes him out of the locker rooms to the halls. There’s TVs in every corner, and one TV catches his attention.

There he is.

Eddie Munson’s sitting beside his adoptive mother and his siblings. Dear God. In what world is this real?

The commentator squeals in delight as he broadcasts, “Here’s one for the books, one that’s surely going to break the internet tonight. In the crowd tonight, we have the lead singer of best selling metal group, Eddie Munson. The rumors are apparently true! Harrington and Munson are definitely friends, maybe even more?”

Steve groans as Sinclair moves pass him, bumping shoulders. A huge smirk on his face, “I didn’t think you could do it, but I have to say, I am very proud of you.”

”Leave me alone.” He sulks as Lucas walks down the hall laughing his head off.

When Steve started talking to Eddie, he never really thought he’d end up here. Did he want something serious with Eddie? Well, yes. He’s been crushing on the man since he realized he was bisexual and Eddie was already the cover of the Seventeen magazine for nth time. But Eddie was a superstar singer who’s still on a world tour that has already sold billions, so no, Steve didn’t expect him to be here. He also knows that Eddie just got out of a pretty public break-up, so he didn’t expect anything but friendship. He just— shoot his shot and prayed to the Gods.

Steve thinks back to the conversation they had a few nights ago. A conversation only possible through the help of prayer and two shots of vodka.

“You wanna go out this Sunday?” Steve asks, trying his best to keep the nerves under the wraps.

“Isn’t that the day of the game?” Eddie speaks over the phone and Steve still can’t fathom the fact that he’s talking to Eddie Munson on a regular Wednesday night.

“Yeah, I mean. We can go out after the game.” Steve gulps, and he feels the need to take another shot.

”Huh.” Eddie hums, “Would that be a date, Harrington?”

“Yes.” Steve lightly bangs his head on the wall, “I mean, if you want it to be.” Steve covers his mouth to muffle the embarrassing sounds that comes out from him. What a wuss.

“Here, let’s play a fun little game. Let’s wait till Sunday.” Steve can hear the smirk in his voice, and god, Steve will have to look up the damn “Eddie Munson smirks for 10 minutes” compilation on Youtube again.

”What do you mean?”

“I’ll think about it. On Sunday, if I’m in the crowd then maybe we can get some dinner. If I’m not, then maybe next time.” There’s a playfulness in his voice that makes Steve want to tear his hair out.

Steve gnaws at his lips, that sounds easy enough, “Okay. That sounds… easy.”

Eddie laughs. It’s music to Steve’s ears and he feels pathetic, “Not so easy, big boy. If I’m there, you have to get a touchdown and then it’s a date. If not, then we hang out with your siblings. They’re pretty cool.”

Steve stares at the wall in his room, there’s maybe 50% chance he’ll get a touchdown. He could talk to Sinclair and McKinney to get him the ball. He could do it. It’s just another touchdown. He’s done—what?— like 50 touchdowns in his life.

”Okay.” Steve gulps, “Let’s do it.”

“HARRINGTON!” Steve blinks back to the present, lifting his eyes away from the picture of Eddie Munson wearing the red windbreaker representing his team.

Hopper’s calling him over, a smirk clear on his face. Why is everyone fucking smirking at him? “I see you’re distracted. I hope this doesn’t cripple your ability to play.”

”Hop!” Steve groans, only for his coach to laugh and pat him in the back.

“Go on! Line up!” Hop smiles, winking at him, “Good luck out there.”

Steve puts on his helmet, before taking a few deep breathes.

He just needs a touchdown. One touchdown.

Steve smiles.

He’d do anything for Eddie Munson.

A touchdown is nothing.

#okay so again i dont know anything about nfl and football #i will write more after i finish this three hour long video about football #thank you cass for allowing me to write this #i love you from the bottom of my heart #this are the only worms i have right now #steddie #dae writes #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steddie rants #steddie headcanon #daeheadcanons #steddie famous au #steddie fanfic

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melrosing · 20 days

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krakamelldansen idk I’m out of puns

more here

#asha greyjoy #theon greyjoy #aeron greyjoy #victarion greyjoy #euron greyjoy #asoiaf #asoiaf caramelldansen thing #melrosing art #the way this is my first time drawing the bottom three orz #I threw in Theon again cos how could I not. he has some new expressions

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sshbpodcast · 1 year

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Good, bad, or somehow both? The [simultaneously] best and worst of S6 Voyager

by Ames

We’re nearing the Alpha Quadrant in our watchthrough of Star Trek: Voyager and the episodes are leveling off to come in for a landing. Most of season 6 of the show is middle-of-the-road, with thought-provoking elements AND missed opportunities abounding simultaneously, often in the same episodes. This was a tricky season for your hosts at A Star to Steer Her By to pick top and bottom episodes for, and our individual tastes really colored our selections more than usual.

So much so, in fact, that for the first time since our coverage of The Animated Series there are multiple episodes featured on both the tops and bottoms lists! There’re also a good number of episodes we just found solidly good or solidly bad, so see where they’ve fallen in our picks below and listen to this week’s podcast coverage (season wrap starts at 1:00:03) which features extra picks from guest star Liz!

[images © CBS/Paramount]

Top Three Episodes

While we weren’t as wowed as we were for previous seasons, the episodes of season six tended to be more character-driven, personal, and driven by the hope that drives the Voyager closer on its journey home. There’s some good stuff in these quieter, more overlooked episodes that we want to shout out to.

“Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy”: Jake Every so often, Star Trek gets comedy right, and surprising no one, it’s usually when the Emergency Medical Hologram is involved. Robert Picardo just brings so much to even his smaller moments that it’s commendable, and good to see his turn as the Emergency Command Hologram to showcase a bunch of good jokes. Too many jokes perhaps? You be the judge since we’ll hear more about this episode shortly…

“Spirit Folk”: Chris Another episode we see multiple sides of is the sequel to the earlier episode “Fair Haven” (more on that in a moment). Again, it’s one of those comedy episodes that you find yourself either laughing or groaning at, but this one had some really fun moments. From the townspeople turning from NPCs to protagonists, to the Kathryn-Michael relationship feeling more right, to the zany witchcraft, there’s something to giggle about.

“Life Line”: Caitlin What’s better than one Bob Picardo being a diva? Two Bob Picardos being divas, of course! The relationship between the EMH and his creator Lewis Zimmerman is so fraught that it’s almost too familiar (you’ve seen our Parents in Star Trek blogpost, right?) and yet so nice to watch them grow together and come to understand each other, even if it’s just a little bit.

“One Small Step”: Ames Much of this episode is hauled up by some really lovely scenes from frequent Trek face Phil Morris as Commander John Kelly. We get to see this doomed astronaut’s final logs after he was lost in a space ravioli, and they’re so touching that they warm the cold heart of a former Borg drone. Seven gets to see firsthand why we honor historical milestones and the amazing people behind them.

“Child’s Play”: Jake We also talked in our Parents blogpost about Icheb’s monstrous mother and father who are very firmly in the worst category of parents, but this episode itself is also a bit of a fascinating story. The Brunali are a people constantly attacked by the Borg and they are willing to create and sacrifice their own children to take them down. What we get is a great ethical dilemma for Seven to solve when she herself becomes a protective parental figure and it’s lovely to see.

“Pathfinder”: Chris Finally, a moment of hope for the Voyager crew after their attempts to get home keep getting dashed over the course of the previous seasons. It’s a lovely victory for Barclay, and we also get to rejoice in watching him concoct a plan to get in touch with his latest obsession, with the help of a holographic recreation of its crew and also Troi, who is useful for a change! Sure, Reg’s holo-addiction is still a problem, but he’s using it to his advantage.

“Memorial”: Ames, Caitlin This episode is bound to elicit a response because of how much (and how well!) it depicts how people react to trauma. The PTSD that the whole crew ends up suffering from is something that’s so important to see as a focus, and it’s so very human (or Talaxian a little). On top of that, we get a unique perspective on how people spread their histories, and the way they go about it is about as messed up as histories themselves tend to be. No species will ever learn.

“Blink of an Eye”: Caitlin, Jake Speaking of histories, “Blink of an Eye” tells the story of a whole society’s development over eons in a single sitting. It’s one of those episodes that is told in such a fascinating manner that it captures your attention and your imagination. Each little vignette from the hyperfast aliens is a perfect little bite from their society, exactly the right size to entice. And ending the whole thing with a moving performance from Daniel Dae Kim? Delicious.

“Riddles”: Ames, Chris Wrapping up our list is a true dark horse candidate, the surprisingly moving and delicately handled episode of rehabilitation and recovery, told in a way that is supportive but strong – just like the Neelix-Tuvok relationship. These two may be most frequently paired together as the comedic odd couple, but when Tuvok is impaired and Neelix is there for him, it reminds you how sweetly their characters fit together. I love their weird love.

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Bottom Three Episodes

Not a ton of truly bad stuff this season, which is where disagreements in our lists tend to come from. When there’s not a lot to choose from, we get nitpicky. And when we get nitpicky, we get pedantic. The real missteps that were made this season… well, you’ll see those too.

“Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy”: Ames While this episode made one tops list, there’s also some squicky characterizations that drag it to the bottom as well. The Doctor is shown to be conceited, lewd, and downright gross in many of his fantasies, making us all cringe through scenes of him painting Seven in the nude, fondling Janeway’s bottom, and combating every female crewman’s insatiable thirst. And the alien antagonist Phlox, whom we’re supposed to unwittingly forgive for his earlier scenes, is just a power-hungry fascist. There, I said it.

“Spirit Folk”: Caitlin One more substantial disagreement is that other comedy episode that we mentioned above since so much of the funny gags and jokes are just downright stupid. Everything is way too convenient, we miss all the opportunities to explore the rights of these holopeople, and, frankly, “Who Watches the Watchers?” did the premise better. But that was another episode that we disagreed on back in the day, so who even knows anymore? And we’ll never hear from this holoprogram again anyway! Ack!

“Fair Haven”: Ames, Jake But we’re not done shitting on Tom’s little Irish village just yet! Why literally everyone on the crew was SO into a simple open sandbox Ireland world in the holodeck was beyond us, for one thing, but the romance between Janeway and Sullivan was just as perplexing. We were stumped where the conflict in this episode was even coming from because the only way for it to work was to turn the captain into a lovelorn, giggling schoolgirl and that doesn’t make sense. Delete the episode.

“Good Shepherd”: Chris, Jake We loved the TNG episode “Lower Decks,” and this cobbled-together mess is no “Lower Decks.” The three minor characters are boring at best and utterly obnoxious at worst. When Janeway decides to take them under her wing, anyone watching can’t help but wish she just left them in the bowels of the ship where they belong. And making matters even worse, any chance any of them has to grow as a character is negated when Janeway practically single-handedly saves the day anyway!

“Barge of the Dead”: Ames, Caitlin, Chris Like with “Sacred Ground” which we disliked so much several seasons ago, any exploration of religious faith just doesn’t work on this show. So Gre’thor is just a real place you can consistently visit by having a near-death experience? That’s a thing that this show has now established, and I’m personally peeved off by it. And Torres, who doesn’t even believe in this stuff in the first place, is completely out of character all episode long! Today was NOT a good day to die.

“Fury”: Caitlin, Chris, Jake Another of our good friends who’s entirely out of character is Kes, who returns from a perfectly good farewell and shits all over “The Gift” for no good reason. It’s like the writers forgot what kind of person Kes was in order to make this episode work. We don’t get to know why she became so embittered and scornful, but someone just decided it was so and dragged poor Jennifer Lien in to act in “Gaslighting: The Episode.” Things were great for you, Jennifer, because we say so.

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So who’s right and who’s wrong and how is it simultaneously everybody? That’s how middle of the road this season was. We’ll be back home on Earth in no time at all, so make sure you’re keeping up with us here and on the podcast over on SoundCloud or your favorite podcast app, hail us on Facebook and Twitter, and stay out of Fair Haven. It never ends well.

#star trek #star trek podcast #podcast #voyager #tinker tenor doctor spy #spirit folk #life line #one small step #child's play #pathfinder #memorial #blink of an eye #riddles #fair haven #good shepherd #barge of the dead #fury #top three #bottom three

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joshdonnas · 10 days

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"You want me to have a secret meeting with the Son of the Sword?" "I must be high from the morphine." "You know, stealth isn't exactly my strong suit." "He's very clumsy."

JOSH LYMAN AND DONNA MOSS Memorial Day (5x22) | The West Wing

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rosepompadour · 1 year

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My heart is a locket and your face is in it.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, July 1911

#i found a signed first edition of conversation at midnight while i was sorting through the cheaper books at work today #and god the GASP i let out #a first edition signed by my favorite poet for only $250?!#i told my boss he could easily sell it for three times that price #and he said 'i didn't even know we had that and judging by the look on your face right now i don't think it could go to a better home.'#so bottom line i have a signed first edition by my number one girl on my nightstand right now #'i know not how such things can be; i only know there came to me vincent millay for two fifty.' 💗#edna st. vincent millay #literature

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tezzbot · 2 months

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Daydreaming .. ?

More: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

#sth #sonic underground au #sonia the hedgehog #amy rose #rosemere #miles tails prower #mydoodles #Did I make the bottom image huge and draw three soft things to make the soft things smaller out of embarassment ? it's possible #sonia x amy

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nocasdatsgay · 2 months

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Now Behave

Pairing: Azriel/Eris/F-Reader| Rated: E | Word Count: 4253

Neapolitan Bonds masterlist here

Summary: Sequel to Be Good. Azriel gets his punishment for misbehaving

CW: Rope play, fire play, shadow play, edging, P in V sex, face fucking, spanking/impact play, aftercare, use of y/n, mild daddy kink, unbetaed, Dom!Eris, Bratty!Az

A/N: I hope this lives up to the hype. Minors look away. If i missed a warning let me know

Read here on ao3 |Read Be Good | Read Below

You sat pretty on the brown couch in the playroom, with nothing but your red silk nightgown on while Eris tied up Azriel in similar colored rope. Az was stripped and kneeled on the long cushion across from you. His wings were relaxed, partly spread on the rug. Eris tied the ropes in a similar fashion that had been on you before: a basic harness. Az’s hands were tied behind his back and the ropes came around to his chest. You noticed immediately how the rope emphasized his pecs. If you could touch him you’d be on your knees licking up his chest.

“Do you know why I’m tying you up?” Eris asked, tugging on the front binds and ensuring they weren’t too tight.

“Yea,” Az grumbled back.

“And why is that?” Azriel didn’t answer. Eris reached down and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up. “Why is it?”

Az glared at him. “Because someone’s a bitch who couldn’t handle a little teasing.”

Your eyes widened and you were so sure Eris would slap him. He didn’t. Instead he let go and walked over to the dresser at the back wall. He pulled out a silk cloth and came back to tie it around Azriel’s mouth.

“You were a brat yesterday and a very bad boy. You not only distracted me while working, you edged y/n seven times that I counted through the bond. Which is well past her limit and what I originally asked of you.”

“Seven?” You gasped. You squeezed your thighs together out of reflex. “Azriel!”

You didn’t think he edged you that much. But you were so far gone you weren’t counting. Your limit was five and that was over the course of hours. How you hadn’t cum on accident was a miracle. Az wouldn’t look at you. He simply scowled and stared at the carpet.

“So now,” Eris stepped back and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “You’re going to sit there and think about what you did. I’m going to play with our mate and when we’re done, I’m going to show you what it’s like to be edged seven times.”

Az kept his stony expression but you could feel through the bond his worry- and his anticipation. Even if you didn’t want to, you shut the bond down. Whatever happened next, Az wasn’t allowed to feel. That was one of the rules agreed upon. You glanced up when Eris came up to you and he reached out, gently tilting your head up by your chin. Your eyes followed to look up at his amber ones.

“What do you want?”

“I want you in my mouth.”

He hummed. “Up.”

He let you go and you almost leaped off the couch. Your eyes quickly grazed over him, want twisted in the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t fully taken in what he was wearing, too focused on Azriel. He was wearing a tight green button up in a style you hadn’t seen before with the sleeves rolled up his forearms. Newer pants with buttons instead of laces. Every inch of him radiated High Lord even without traditional Autumn clothing. He sat on the couch and you sank down into your knees between his legs.

“These are new,” you whispered, reaching out and tracing where his cock strained against the buttons.

“A gift.” You tilted your head at him. He sighed. “From the human lands.”

Ah. You knew instantly why he didn’t elaborate further. You nodded and leaned up to undo the buttons. You wasted no time pushing up his shirt and pulling out his cock to stroke it. A long time ago, you’d be ashamed at how your mouth watered and slickness gathered on your thighs from just thinking about taking him in your mouth. Instead you just leaned in and licked the underside of him before taking him into your mouth.

“That’s a good girl,” he sighed, hands immediately going into your hair.

There was no rush. You lazily bobbed your head, your tongue stroking around every inch you could take without gagging. The bond between you hummed with contentment. You were so focused you almost didn’t notice a cool stroke on your exposed leg. You felt it again you stopped and glanced up at Eris. He grinned at you, tugging the bond. You pulled back and turned around to glare at Az.

“Keep your shadows to yourself,” you said sternly.

The shadow on your leg slinked away. Az’s eyebrows shot up and he shrunk back on his knees. Eris didn’t hold back his laugh and you knew Az was likely stewing in embarrassment. He hated being ignored but hated being chastised more. You heard him whine as you decided to climb onto Eris’s lap. Warm hands rubbed your thighs while you straddled him and reached between you to guide yourself onto him.

“Oh Eris,” you gasped loudly on purpose as you sank down onto his cock.

You loved sitting on his lap, his length filling you perfectly each time. You gave yourself a second to adjust. Eris pulled at your gown, tugging it up to your waist. You knew it was so Az could watch.

“Take what you need, love.”

You placed one hand by Eris’s head on the couch and leaned in to press your lips to his. His mouth parted to let your tongue in and you moaned into his mouth as you lifted your hips and sank back down again. His warm hands drifted to your rear, groping and squeezing while you found your rhythm.

You shifted your knees just a little bit further apart to be able to sink down farther. You pulled away to moan when his cock hit that sweet spot. He didn’t stop you as you moved faster and dropped down harder. Your forehead pressed against his and he whispered soft words of encouragement. In turn your moans grew louder. The strap of your gown fell down the arm you were now using to undo the buttons on his shirt.

“So good for me, princess.” His voice was haggard. He pushed down the strap more and cupped your breast, his thumb circling your nipple. “Can you cum for me like this?”

“Yes,” you gasped. You were so close.

“Do that for me, love.”

Just enough of a High Lord command laced in his statement that your body responded. You were vocal as you came apart, knees squeezing against Eris’s thighs while you pulsed around him. You slowed your movements and eventually fell onto Eris, burying your face against his neck while you came down. You caught your breath, his sweet scent calming you.

“You did so well,” he muttered, a hand slipping up your back to caress your skin.

You finally sighed and moved off him. The first thing you noticed was how hard he felt as you lifted off of him.

“Er,” you glanced down, frowning. He hadn’t cum.

“I have plans, princess.”

That grin was wicked. You had a feeling even in the hazy warmth of a good climax what he was planning. You knew it had everything to do with your mate sitting pretty across the room. Sure enough Eris trained his eyes on Az, stroking himself. It did not escape you that his cock was covered in you. Eris stood and tugged up his pants enough to walk over to where Az was waiting. You moved down the couch to get a better view.

“I’m going to take this off,” Eris tugged at the silk gag off and tossed it to the floor. “And I’m going to use your mouth since that’s all it’s good for. You even get a taste of y/n as a treat. Your shadows are going to stroke you until I’m done and you cannot cum. Understood?”

Az glared up at Eris. He didn’t reply; merely opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out. He must have tugged on the bond; since Eris mumbled something you couldn’t hear when he stepped closer to push his cock into Az’s mouth.

You opened up your bond to Az. Just because he couldn’t feel your pleasure, didn’t mean you couldn’t feel his. Your eyes widened a little as a wave of warmth hit you. From the way Az acted you thought he would be fighting it internally.

You curled up on the couch and watched while Eris fucked Az’s mouth. You committed every second to memory- it wasn’t often Az was the one submitting completely like this. And by the gods he was pretty under the fae lights, eyes glazed over while tears ran down his cheeks. You hazard a guess that it was more from the shadows ghosting along his cock than the one in his mouth.

Your eyes trailed over to Eris. You didn’t miss how he was constantly touching Az; brushing his hair back, fingers smoothing his brows and dipping down to wipe tears away. It was a stark contrast to the rough way he was thrusting into Az’s mouth and throat. You could feel through his bond that he was close.

As you expected, Az gagged when Eris gripped his hair, pulling him down all the way. Eris’s head fell back and he groaned as his came down your mate’s throat, holding him there until you felt Eris’s pleasure subside through the bond.

“So you can behave,” Eris said, panting, pulling out Azriel’s mouth. “Stop your shadows.”

Shadows scuttled away from Azriel’s hard cock. You watched Eris tuck himself back into his trousers, moving buttons into place while Az caught his breath. Eris pulled out a cloth from his back pocket and wiped the drool off of Az’s chin.

“That was one,” he said, tilting Az’s head up. “Six more to go, only this time you’ll tell us to stop when you feel close. Understood?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be using my magic. Is that okay?”

“Yea.”

There was no change in how Az felt through the bond. Which meant he was truthful. Eris went to fix the buttons on his shirt as he walked back to the couch. When he sat down he patted beside him, wanting you to scoot over to him. As you did, he threw out his hand, flames with no heat immediately circling Az’s cock. He gasped but otherwise didn’t speak.

He turned on the couch as you crawled over so you could lay against his chest. You sighed and stretched your legs out while he wrapped his arms around you. He started to play with your hair and you were both silent. You almost fell asleep from how comfortable you were, if it hadn’t been for Az.

“Stop,” Az gasped.

You jolted, blinking. Eris called back his flames.

“Two,” Eris said with a drawl of emphasized boredom.

You knew exactly the game they were now playing. Not even a minute passed and flames went back to Az. You swore you heard him whine.

“Do you want to talk about why you disobeyed and embarrassed me yesterday?” Eris asked, he twisted his hand and the flames moved faster.

“I,” Az's body shuttered. “You don’t own me.”

You sighed. “Az, why did you disobey daddy?”

That was the first time you’d spoken to him softly since this started. And that seemed too much for him.

“Stop,” Az sobbed and the magic disappeared.

“That’s only three,” Eris said, shaking his head. “And so much quicker than the first two. Four more to go. Unless you want to talk?”

The look Az shot Eris would have set him on fire if he had those powers. Flames returned again. You thought about using your own magic but you didn’t have permission. This was between Az and Eris.

He seemed to last longer this time, be it from stubbornness or how slower the flames moved. You watched him struggle- shifting his knees and scrunching his face until he finally yelled stop again. Flames left just his hard cock that was leaking against his stomach. Gods you wished he hadn’t been a brat so you could put your mouth on him.

“Four. Can you explain yourself or do you want to keep going?”

Eris got up this time and went to him, hands on his hips.

“Give me a second,” Az panted.

“I don’t think you gave y/n a second to breathe. What’s your color?”

“Yellow.”

Az stared at the ground, cheeks darkened. You sent some love through the bond. Az was always difficult about being honest with his head space; him admitting they needed to slow down was a big step.

“Good boy,” Eris ran his hands through Azriel’s hair. “Can you get us some water, princess?”

You nodded and left the room. The water was in your chamber’s sitting room down the hall. It only took you a minute to walk in and pour a glass from the pitcher. It was a mating gift from the Winter High Lord and High Lady. The pitcher and special glasses were spelled to always keep the water cool. You came back to Eris kneeling in front of Az whispering to him. You could feel the embarrassment Az was feeling in the bond.

“Eris be nice,” you chastised, holding out the glass.

“I am, that’s the problem. Isn't it my star?” Love laced Eris’s tone. “Baby boy can’t take a compliment.”

“Shut up,” Az grumbled.

Eris simply grinned and held the glass to his lips. Az eagerly took the water, draining the glass quickly before turning and gasping. Eris handed you the glass back.

“Is that enough or do you want more?”

“ ‘M fine.”

“We’ll continue then.”

Eris went towards the couch and in a hurry, you winnowed to the sitting room to put the glass down and winnowed back. You could feel Eris laughing at you through the bond. That reminded you to make sure your bond shut to Az again. Eris grinned at you and gestured you over. This time you sat in his lap. He hummed as you draped yourself on him and pulled you close. Eris sent out his flames and Az moaned. You tried to not look, burying your face into the curve of Eris’s neck while his hand slipped between your legs. You squeezed your thighs around his hand.

You whimpered. “Sensitive.”

“You only came once, baby,” Eris said with a chuckle and pushed a finger up between your folds to graze against your clit. “I think you can give me another.”

You shifted without thinking to spread your legs just a bit farther apart. Your breath quickened when he started moving his fingers just the way you liked it.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered. “Can you cum before Az asks to stop?”

“Yea.” You kissed his neck.

“You’re so messy.” He moved his fingers faster. “I can feel you dripping on my pants.”

You keened and to keep from yelling starting sucking that spot near his jaw you knew he liked. You were rewarded with a groan and you felt him start to harden again in his pants. You wanted to draw it out but Eris knew you too well. One shift of his fingers, and you pulled back gasping. You came, clenching on nothing while he rubbed you through it. He pulled his hand back and held it to your mouth.

“Open.”

You obliged and he stuck his fingers in your mouth. You hummed, tasting yourself on them and licked them clean. You almost forgot Az was kneeling across from you.

“Fuck stop. I-” he gasped.

You jerked your head away and Eris pulled back the flames but Az still cursed. A moment later, he groaned when his hips jerked as he came.

Oh no.

You moved off Eris immediately. He stood and magicked the mess away while Az hung his head panting.

“I didn’t tell you to come. You couldn’t even make it past five,” Eris looked down at him, frowning. “Pathetic. Guess we should start over.”

“I can’t.” Tears fell down his cheeks.

“You can’t? Or you won’t? Can’t isn’t our safeword.”

Azriel whined. You looked around the room quickly and an idea came to you. You tugged on the bond to Eris. He turned towards you.

“Suggestions?”

“Maybe instead he can choose a different punishment?”

Eris crossed his arms and watched you go to the wall with the toys. You picked up the paddle and the flogger. Az always liked the flogger more but you were lenient. You walked up to Az and held them out. His shadows swirled around the paddle. You then turned and handed it to Eris.

“Our mate is too kind to you, my star.” He said to Az. “Is this what you want?” Az nodded. “You’ll count; four hits. One for coming when I didn’t tell you to. Three for the rest of the ones you skipped just now.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to stand or lean on the couch?”

“Stand.” Az muttered. “Wings are stiff.”

Eris grabbed the front of the harness and lifted Az up like he weighed nothing. Of course that did something for you. He brought Az over to the middle of the room. Az let his wings flare out damn near reaching the ceiling. You opened the bond and you could feel the relief coming off him. Eris waited until his wings relaxed and went around him. You hated that you couldn’t see what Eris was doing, but a soft push from the bond told you he wanted Az facing you.

“I’m going to hold you in place and after a hit I want you to say what number you’re on. If you lose count, we start over.”

“Yes sir.” Az stared at the ground.

Eris moved to the left and you saw the swing of the paddle. The smack was loud and Az’s back arched from the hit.

“One,” he gasped.

Eris may as well hit you also for how it shot through you. You moaned, heat flaring between your legs. You couldn’t help it. Eris leaned around to look at you with a dark grin on his face.

“This is new,” Eris ran his gaze over you. “Do you like watching your sir get punished, princess?”

“Yes.” No sense in lying when he could smell you.

Az groaned, his cock jumping against his stomach. Eris must have done something. You could smell Az’s scent become thicker in the air and it made your own core throb.

“Show us,” Eris said. “Show us how hot it makes you to see Az take his punishment.”

“Yes, daddy.”

You settled back on the couch, spreading your legs and propping on foot up on the cushions. Your fingers dipped between your legs and Eris grabbed Azriel’s chin, forcing him to look.

“See that, my star? You could be fucking her right now but you were a brat. Now our princess has to take care of herself.”

Az whined watching you dip your fingers into your cunt. Gods you wanted this to be over. That’s what you focused on while you touched yourself. Maybe tomorrow if Az wasn’t sore you’d both stay in bed. You weren’t even paying attention until you heard the smack and Az count to two. You clenched around your fingers at the noise. The third smack, you squealed, almost coming on your fingers and Az yelled three.

“One more.” Eris whispered. “What’s your color?”

“Green, so fuckin green.” Az panted. He always liked pain the best.

“Don’t you dare cum,” you heard Eris hissed in his ear. “I know you’re thinking about it.”

Indeed, his cock was hard and red again against his stomach. You bit your lip and pulled your fingers out to swirl them on your clit. You looked up to see Az staring you in the eyes.

“I promise.”

You held his gaze as your breath quickened. You opened the bond a little. Your eyes fluttered; Az was definitely riding a high right now. Your gaze went to where Eris was and had stepped back. Your eyes went back to Az’s while the paddle came down.

He yelled; you gasped, coming again for the third time that night.

“Four.” Az sighed.

“Now have we learned our lesson?” Eris asked, dragging his hand along the rope so he could walk in front of Az without letting go for too long.

“Yes, daddy,” Az muttered.

You stood on shaky legs and walked up to them.

“Can I?” You held up your fingers.

Eris chuckled. “Of course, filthy girl.”

You stuck your wet fingers into Azriel’s mouth and he moaned around them. His tongue licked them clean. You pulled them back quickly.

“That’s all you’re getting.”

Az hummed in response, gaze glossy. Eris hand you the paddle. You took it and went to wipe it down while he began to undo the ropes.

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Eris wrapped the silk rope around his hand as he went.

“Bath,” Az grumbled. “I want a bath. Please.”

“Can you sit?” You asked.

You put the paddle away and came up to him. You rubbed his freed arm and wrist while Eris untied the other side.

“That was nothing.” He gave you his signature smirk.

“We will put balm on you after a bath.” Eris replied, matter of fact. “Take him while I put these away.”

You nodded and looped your arm around him. Shadows now flurried around you and you giggled a little when they brushed up against your cheeks. They too, seemed happy they could touch you again. Walk to the bath was short; you used your magic to turn on the water and stop the drain. Az didn’t say anything while the bath filled. You helped him in after grabbing a towel and sitting it on the ledge. He stopped you when you went to pull your gown off.

“If you get in with me, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

You pouted, and pointed to the spot in front of you. “Even I sit over here?”

Az groaned and slid down the side to lower his wings in the water farther. You noticed his shadows seemed to be hiding- or resting out of sight. Then you smelt Eris before you heard him walk in.

“We can bathe later,” he said, coming up behind you and pulling you in to kiss the top of your head. “Our star needs a reward for behaving.”

Az opened one eye, squinting. “Don’t tease me daddy.”

“You still said it, willingly I might add.” Eris retorted.

“Wet your hair,” you pulled from Eris and walked to the right side of the bath. “I’ll wash it.”

Az grumbled but dunked his head under. You sat on the ledge and grabbed the shampoo, pouring some in your hand before you started running your fingers through his hair. He groaned again and leaned back, letting you slowly massage his scalp. Eris walked around and sat on the left side.

“Are you ready to talk?”

“Yea.” There was silence and finally Az sighed. “I’m sorry for showing out yesterday.”

“Hmmm, and what made you do that?”

You muttered to Az you were going to rinse his hair and you used one of the small pitchers, water pouring over his head and washing the suds away. You grabbed a cloth and soap and started washing his shoulders. You were careful to not touch his wings.

“Rhys was here and-“ he stopped when he noticed you stilled your hand. “I just mean I knew he was here and, I don’t know.” You tugged the bond gently and went back to washing him.

Eris sighed heavily. “Azriel.”

“I’m sorry.” Az hung his head and stared at the water. You rinsed his back and gestured him to lean back. “I wasn’t thinking about his visit being work. I just wanted to show off.”

“Show off?” You tilted your head.

His cheeks darkened under your scrutiny while you scrubbed his chest. You instantly realized this had more to do with Az and Eris’s history than your own.

“I’m all for being territorial and showing off the effects you have on me, but there is a time and place for it,” Eris said sternly. “I forgive you. But if it happens again, I won’t just be punishing you for fun. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, I’m still a new High Lord in their eyes. That type of bratty behavior in the wrong situation can have dire consequences.”

“I know.” You both heard Az’s voice crack.

“My star,” Eris reached out and cupped Az’s cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he echoed back.

You leaned in and kissed his other cheek. “Let’s finish cleaning you up. Then we can go to bed.”

Eris caught your eye as you leaned back. “I think you should go ahead and bathe also. Two birds, two stones or whatever Lucien heard those humans say.”

“I think I agree.”

You suppressed your grin, dropping the cloth in the waters and pulling off your gown. You climbed into the bath with Az. Eris left to get ready for bed and you took your time finishing cleaning Az and yourself. You both spent a little bit longer in the bath than needed. Mostly lazy kissing and you muttering how much you loved him while the shadows returned and darted around you both. A light tug in your chest made you sigh.

“Eris says we’re taking too long.” Az grunted in response. “Let's get out and go to bed.”

Az sighed. “Okay.”

Tagging: @hieragalbatorixdottir

#eris vanserra #acotar x reader #eris x reader #eris x azriel #eris x Azriel x reader #Neapolitan bonds #three way mating bond #azriel acotar #azriel gets his punishment #dom!eris vanserra #bratty bottom Az #high lord eris #acotar #pro eris vanserra #pro azriel

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