#bottom is kissthemgoodbye | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pollylynn · 3 years

Photo

Title: Twenty-Twenty WC: 1300 Episode: Valkyrie (6 x 01)

She misses the obvious things, or the things that would have been obvious if leaving New York hadn’t been such a sudden, frenetic sprint. There’s the food, top to bottom, with a special emphasis on literally a dozen different versions of Chinese for the dozen-plus different types of Chinese she might crave on any given night. There’s Chinese here. Of course there’s Chinese. It’s not like this is some cow town eight miles from the interstate. But there isn’t her Chinese. There isn’t their Chinese, and she misses that.

There’s the pace of everything, a pace that the very matrix of her bones resonates to. She misses lights her, like, all the time. She gets caught flat-footed by turn arrows like she’s from some cow town eight miles off the interstate. But she just doesn’t have the rhythm of the place down yet.

She doesn’t know what to do with herself when she’s built far too much padding into her commute and she’s too early to make this, not quite early enough to accomplish that. And she has truly no idea what to do when, despite all the padding she’s built in, she still somehow ends up running terribly late because of a motorcade or the act-of-god-level traffic jams or a . . . plague of locusts or whatever on the silver line. In New York, she could navigate ten out of ten biblical plagues and still have time to hit Zabar’s for a bagel. Here, there are days when she’s hard-pressed to make sure her fly is zipped and she doesn’t have oatmeal dribbling down her chin before she rushes into the office.

She misses the water surrounding the island, rather than taking up residence in her hair, creating her own personal fog bank. She misses bodegas and proud ignorance of any world events that have the bad sense to take place outside the city. She misses feeling that she belongs—that she is, at all times, surrounded by her ballsy, foul-mouthed, head-down, take-no-shit people.

She misses him. God, in the minutes after he puts her trigger discipline to the test, every cell, every blood vessel, every hair follicle and nerve ending in her body sings out just how badly she has missed him. In fact, it takes quite a while before her body will shut up a little bit about how much she has missed him, not just in body. And when it does—more out of the sad limitations of the flesh than any actual desire to stop singing out, she finds she’s a little quiet around him.

Not that she’s ever been the talker in their relationship. But she finds that she is—not shy, exactly, just . . . quiet. It scares her at first. She thinks she’s fallen out of rhythm with him, that her leaving, them not working together, the last six weeks apart, have managed to shake loose the intense connection they’ve so long had with one another.

It’s not that, though. The next morning, strangely enough, shows her that it’s not that. They are companionable in the morning. They are easy with each other and there is a distinct possibility that he’s going to try to seduce her, she’s going to let him, and there will definitely be no time for a fly check before McCord rolls up to collect her. And flitting in and out of that is another kind of seduction. He makes annoying astute guesses about the what and where of her case. He is annoying convincing when he posits that they could work together, knock off the case by 10:00 AM, and have the rest of the weekend for themselves.

It’s lovely. It’s . . . renewing in ways she doesn’t have time to examine before McCord does come to collect her. But the realization is there. The epiphany is waiting patiently for her to have time for it. She doesn’t have time for it until that night—their second night and the last one they’ll get to have together for who knows how long.

She’s beyond quiet that second night. She is . . . weepy. It’s such an alien word, but it's apt. She doesn’t actually weep. She’s just . . . weepish, maybe, and she hates herself for ruining it. She hates herself for not being able to just embrace this—the joy of having him for one night, then two, for one companionable morning.

“I miss you.” She ends up hurling the words like an accusation as they sit on the end of her couch that isn’t littered with boxes, holding each other close. His chin bumps the top of her head. I miss you, too. She knows he’s about to say it back, and she’s frantic to get another word in edgewise. “No, I mean it. I miss you.” She struggles to pull back far enough that she can look him in the eye. “This is hard.”

That surprises him enough that his jaw snaps shut. Whatever he was just about to say is locked inside, and it gives her space to rush on again.

“It’s really hard, Castle.” She scoots around to draw her knees up, to plant her feet against his thighs and sit at right angles to him. “I keep thinking I’ll hit my stride, but I’m flailing, and I think back to when I was just out of the academy, when I made detective, when I made it to homicide. I don’t—“ She shakes her head. Her forehead clonks against her own knees. “I don’t remember it being this hard.”

She falls quiet. It’s not that she has nothing more to say. She has, if anything, too much more to say—about how she might be too old, or she might not be cut out for a job this big, how she was only ever built to be a big fish in a small, municipal pond. There are a whole host of might bes clogging her throat, but she can’t get any of them out.

He shakes his head, though. He wriggles his fingers between the unforgiving sharpness of her kneecap and her forehead. He coaxes her chin up.

“Kate.” He ducks in for a kiss. There’s something he’s not saying. There might be a lot of somethings he’s not saying. Or he might be waiting for her to be ready for him to say anything at all. That might be it. “Kate, all those times before. You were . . . focused.” It’s a far kinder word than the her of fifteen years ago deserves, but it still gets her dander up. It still stiffens her spine, but he’s not inclined to let her go. “I mean—“ He rushes along, clumsy with his words, but not giving her an opening. “Those were all right after your mom. Right after. And now—I mean you are doing so much better now. You have this full life, you have so much more . . .”

She feels her eyes narrow. She’s expecting a joke. She’s expecting some self-aggrandizing posture to get a laugh out of her, but his face is alight with sweetness and sincere wonder.

“Isn’t it possible”—he shoots her a shy glance—“that it feels harder because you have more to balance now?” He holds her hands tight. “Isn’t it possible that it’s—at least some of it is—a good thing?”

“A good thing,” she echoes. She still feels exhausted. She still feels gloomy and out of place here. But she knows now what it is, why she feels renewed by even this chaotic thirty-six hours with him, a night, another night, and a lovely, companionable morning sandwiched in between. She rises up to kiss him, to wrap her arms around him. “I miss you,” she whispers. “I miss the things you see.”

A/N: The horror of leaving New York comes close to achieving morphousness

images via kissthemgoodbye

#Castle #Caskett #Castle: Season 6 #Castle: Valkyrie #Kate Beckett #Richard Castle #Fic #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Fan Fic #Fan Fiction #Rachel McCord #Writing #Tell Me More

19 notes · View notes

queerbuckleys · 3 years

Photo

My Nightmare is Losing You

playlist

[1.9k| Buck Centric| Angst]

TW: Panic Attack, Implied Eating Disorder, Alcohol as a coping mechanism

Summary:

“I hurt all of you. And I never meant it to get that far. I almost gave up. I hurt myself. I can’t keep going like this. Bobby, I don’t know what to do. What do I do? I feel so broken and I don’t know how to fix it. And I want to fix it. So badly. I fucked up.” Buck gasps out. Bobby took the words in a bit shell shocked, he realized that the revelations that had come with his parent’s visit had torn deep into old scars of Buck's, maybe even ones Bobby had never seen. or Buck hits rock bottom and wants to get out.

Credit to: grande_caps/kissthemgoodbye for the screencap :)

tagging: @novemberhush

Let me know if you would like to be added to my tags list :)

#911 fanfic #evan buckley #bobby nash #Eddie Diaz #mistmaurader #lovebuck #matan4il #imaginebuck #evanbuckos #playlist #mood board #aj writes stuff #118hasmyback

31 notes · View notes

pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years

Text

AWAE 1x1 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

After two months of laughing, crying and every emotion in between, but most of all massive clowning, season 3 is in the past. Now, instead of being all sad about the cancellation - which is temporary, mark my word - time to rewatch every episode starting from day one.

A lot of my reactions to season 1 will probably be “omg [insert young character’s name] was so tiny”. If you don’t like that, you’re welcome to block the tag #jnk watches awae; otherwise, feel free to come with me on this trip down AWAE memory lane.

Horse riding parallels were very much a thing in season 3, but now I see they go back all the way to season 1. The premiere episode starts with Matthew riding a horse I could not identify, and 3x1 starts with Anne riding Belle. They’re even riding in opposite directions - as if towards each other. What can I say, I love Anne and Matthew’s relationship and I just had to find something even from before Anne arrived.

Just as I remember, this episode (and most of the first season, really) is much darker and greyer than the later seasons - especially compared to season 3, where a dark frame signified something really dark was about to happen. I cannot help thinking this was not just because the first two seasons were filmed in winter and season 3 in summer. I think the dull, dark colours were emphasised on purpose to reflect the dullness of life in Avonlea before Anne arrived, as well as Anne’s own dark and difficult past and her fear of being treated the same as before once again. Am I looking too much into this? Yes. But AWAE is the kind of show that rarely, if ever, does anything by accident. So I’m probably on the right track.

The choice to start off the series with Marilla and Matthew inside their home instead of Rachel and her point of view, as the book did, is a nice foreshadowing of the series’ emphasis on family. I love it.

And, as the colours of the frame brighten for a second before going back to grey dullness, we get our first glimpse of Anne. Her face was ever so thin. Poor child has been through so much already... the whole situation just makes me think that her past combined with what her future holds is way too much. Way, way too much.

Seeing the terrible memory of the abusive environment she was only recently taken out of, I cannot properly express my gladness at the realisation that in season 3, the sound of a crying baby no longer triggers Anne. Yes, she’s been through an awful lot, but life in Avonlea as part of a loving family has done her good. You know, these observations and the knowledge of all the positive changes in future seasons make it easier for me to rewatch these very triggering scenes.

“I like imagining better than remembering” After all you’ve been through, of course you would. Who could blame you for that?

“Why are the worst memories the most insistent?” I’ve been asking myself the same thing for a long time now.

Oh Anne, you have no idea... [image credit: kissthemgoodbye]

As if to confirm my theory, the colours are much brighter once Anne arrives at the train station. But now I have another theory: what if this brightening reflects how Anne sees things? The hope, the potential for a better life in a new world...

“I can also imagine that I am already a disappointment to you” And she doesn’t even know they were expecting a boy... poor thing. This scene brings me to tears every time I think about it. And the whole period of time that Anne spends wondering if they’ll let her stay at Green Gables. I have no idea how I will endure watching that over again. But I set myself up for it and what got me through the first time is what will have to do it again this time - that is, the knowledge of what is to come.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes, Mr. Cuthbert” I bet this is the first time Matthew has had these words said to him. Great, now I’ve made myself cry. Could it be that this is when he knew there was no way he was bringing her back to her old life? Those bright little eyes telling you how happy they are to see you... I am surprised Marilla took as much convincing as she did.

“I’m so homely, nobody would ever want to marry me. Unless he was a foreign missionary.” First of all, no, you’re not. Second of all, I hereby give Gilbert Blythe his new nickname - the foreign missionary. It’s ironic to think that if post- season 3 Anne would remember saying that, she would definitely come to the same conclusion. I need a season 4 and a reference to this in it. #renewannewithane

Since this Rachel we see here is pre - 3x7 Rachel, I’m back to being annoyed at her every time she appears on screen.

“... or some French ruffian.” I know full well Jerry is French- Canadian, not French-from-France, and yet I can’t help finding this extremely ironic. Like, thank heavens your new hired boy is not French... so what if he was?

“Well, we’re not getting a girl.” Oh yes you are, Marilla, and you will love her like she’s your own daughter, as much as you try not to.

My theory is just confirming itself scene after scene. Both of my theories, really. When Anne and Matthew are riding along the White Way of Delight and past the Lake of Shining Waters, everything is bright and positively just as wonderful as Anne says it is. We’re seeing what Anne sees, the way she sees it. Also, at that point she’s thrilled at the prospect of living in Green Gables and she’s approaching it - so the scenery lights up. But it goes back to darkness as soon as she has another flashback of her past.

As Anne and Matthew enter Green Gables together for the first time, I’m having flashbacks of 3x9 - another Anne - Matthew parallel. I can’t help thinking of how vastly different the two situations are, especially with Anne wearing the very same clothes as Marilla (being an inalienable part of the family) and Matthew standing up to the people from the “White Man’s Burden” school (after years and years of barely speaking and never putting his foot down except for one thing - to keep Anne).

Poor little Anne - she just wanted to be called Cordelia or Penelope for a couple of days before going back to her old miserable life... but I guess one can be satisfied with Anne with an E if Anne with an E has the chance to stay at Green Gables. Plus, I myself have always liked the name Anne.

“Girls can do anything a boy can do, and more” Why, Anne was just as much of a feminist back in the day as she is in recent episodes. She really is “ahead by a century”.

Why would anyone ever imagine they’re in the depths of despair? Besides, I don’t think anyone who has never felt that way would have the ability to imagine it, even if their imagination was as great as Anne’s.

The Princess Cordelia scene reminds me an awful lot of the Beltane scene in season 3 and I’m not even sure why.

I cannot believe Marilla just threw that beautiful branch into the fire. I also cannot believe how much she has changed in the course of 3 seasons. I’m glad she has, but it pains me almost on a physical level to go back now.

“You can’t make up family, only kin is kin.” In a show that goes on to have such a strong emphasis on found family. We have started from the very bottom, indeed.

Anne’s opinion of Matthew is my opinion of Matthew. I live and would die for that man.

“Red-headed people can’t wear pink”? I have a few examples on my mind that prove otherwise.

Anne saying she would never have a chance to be a child breaks my heart... it doesn’t mean just that she thinks she’ll never be someone’s child. It also means she’s spent all her childhood growing up too fast. This poor child deserves all the happiness in the world.

I am terrified of dogs and this scene - the only one where we see a dog on screen, as far as I can remember, does not give me a single reason not to be. But I guess everyone in that scene is lucky that Anne’s nothing like me in that respect.

Even 1x1 Marilla is not cold-hearted enough to leave Anne with that awful woman and her poor babies.

“I aught not to decide on anything without consulting him.” Well, that is new for certain. I see we’re improving already.

Anne’s description of how she would pray makes me feel she’d make a very good pagan. The “come to me, Muse” in season 2 and the Belthane scene is season 3 are further proof of that for me.

I’ve always loved that “Eggs!” scene... and the fact that Anne expected to be introduced to all the chickens had she not introduced herself to them... she really is a friend to all living beings.

Carrots... I had forgotten Rachel was the first to call Anne’s hair that. It sounds totally different coming from her than from Gilbert, that’s for sure.

Anne’s reaction to Rachel is my reaction to Rachel in this scene. She cannot be blamed for reacting that way, and yet she’ll be forced to apologise. It just so happens that this is not her last time apologising for telling the truth.

Ah, I see we’re there. At that cliff, looking out at the great sea... in such terrible circumstances, though. There really are worse things than hurt feelings, and Anne has been through some of those, and yet she ends up in this place for the first time precisely because of hurt feelings. How poetic.

Anne’s apology has been a favourite of mine since I first read it in the book, and Amybeth’s delivery was absolutely splendid. But I have to say, Rachel did kind of redeem herself with that auburn hair story.

Oh my, Jerry is there. Now Anne will really go off again.

I can’t, I just can’t even! Look at my baby, he is so tiny. Little did I know back when I saw him first that he would grow on me so much. His first interaction with Anne, though... once again, we’ve truly started from the bottom. And to think we almost went back there in 3x10...

That little tug at Anne’s sleeve... and the callback to it in 3x8... I just love Matthew and Anne’s relationship.

Mr. Barry is there. Oh my, oh my. I see the Barrys’ opinion of Anne used to be no different than their opinion on Jerry. I still cannot understand why accepting her, but not him, would ever be ok.

I can’t even look. Those awful girls were... well, awful. I can’t even look at them.

My, Diana almost looks boring compared to her season 3 self. But it’s not her fault.

I’m going to cry... I just witnessed, for the second time, the birth of DiAnne.

The brooch storyline, however brief, is one of those that make me cry every time I even think of them... Marilla was way too harsh with Anne and she knows it now.

The end of this episode is a perfect reflection of the beginning... except the beginning was hopeful and the end is desperate. I’m a sucker for framing devices, but not like this, no.

To sum up, in this episode we saw: the arrival of Anne literally lights up Green Gables; Matthew Cuthbert puts his foot down for once in his life; dreadful scenes of Anne’s past; Rachel sticks her nose in other people’s business - no surprises there; Anne is a feminist since day one; Anne’s opinion of Matthew and Rachel is most of the fandom’s opinion of Matthew and Rachel; Anne and Jerry are off to a bad start, which will change soon; Anne and Diana are off to a good start, which will, unfortunately, also change soon; a brilliant framing device, the first of many.

#anne with an e #anne with an e season 1 #anne with an e s1 #awae #awae s1 #anne shirley cuthbert #diana barry #jerry baynard #marilla cuthbert #matthew cuthbert #rachel lynde #jnk watches awae #renew anne with an e #save anne with an e

34 notes · View notes

lydiastlinsks · 7 years

Text

lydiastlinsks’ icon tutorial

Hey guys! Some people asked me about how I make my icons, so I’ve decided to make a tutorial. I really hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes, english isn’t my first language.

Please like or reblog if you like it/find it uselful.

You can find all of my icons here

WHAT YOU NEED

Adobe Photoshop (I use CS5, but any version should work)

Some basic skills (crop, color)

HQ Screencap (you can find at kissthemgoodbye or screencapped)

Patience, anything requires practice, so you can do it!

SO LET’S START

For this icon, I’ll be using this screencap

Open your screencap in Photoshop.

After this, remove the background. I use either the quick selection tool or the pen tool.

If you choose the quick selection tool, refine the edges, so it looks smoother. My settings are below.

You can select inverse and delete the background or copy and past the part you’re using for the icon, so you don’t lose the original one and can redo if anything goes wrong (that’s what I always do).

BASIC COLORING

I always start with curves, set it the way it looks better in your screencap (we need a lot of light).

Then I go to selective colors and mess with the reds, making it less “vibrant” and in the yellows I decrease the yellow part, so it looks more pink-ish. If the screencap still look a little dark, you can decrease the black part at the neutrals.

Add another selective colors layer and increase the blacks (in +50 it’s a good one).

It’s never the same in every screencap, so if it looks too green or too red, you can change it at color balance.

Put a little bit of vibrance, so it looks more vivid.

A black and white gradient map set to soft light (you can change the opacity to the way you think it looks better).

And another selective colors for the blacks.

At the end, mine looks like this:

NOW THE FUN PART: MAKING EVERYTHING COLORFUL

You really need to have patience here, so it looks pretty and well done. I ALWAYS color it in full size, so I can see exactly where I need to paint it.

Starting with the hair. There are two ways to do it. Create a new layer and set it to soft light.

If you want a more natural look, take the eyedropper tool (the keyboard shortcut is I) and pick the lighter color in the hair. Paint the whole hair with the color you pick (with a lot of patience, take your time). Sometimes I duplicate this layer so the color looks better.

If you want a more vibrant look, pick a color that looks like the hair. With Lydia, for example, I pick a light orange and paint all of her hair with it.

After this, I’ll color her clothes. Also two ways of doing. Create a new layer.

If you want just to increase the colors of the clothes, like Lydia using pink, set this new layer to soft light, pick a pretty pink and paint her clothes.

If you want to change her clothes color, set the new layer to color (if you want more vibrance) or soft light, pick the other color and paint the clothes.

Then, I’ll color her lips with a dark red (again, new layer set to soft light).

And color the eyebrows black (new layer set to soft light), it’ll look good when you resize it.

LAST PART

Resize the image to 100x100 (I usually go to image size to decrease the size and then to canvas size to make it 100x100).

Above all the layers, put a gradient fill and set the angle to where the light comes in the image. You can change the opacity to what you think it’s better.

Below the image layer, create a new layer with the color you want the background to be.

Select the image layer and duplicate it. Pick the bottom layer and blur it, then pick the top layer and sharpen it like this:

Erase the edges of the top layer, so it looks smoother in the background.

I always put a vibrance layer on top of everything and a selective colors layer, so you can go to the neutrals and make the icons have more of the background color.

Then, I create a new layer, pick a color from the background and paint a little bit on her clothes, so it merges with the background.

Aaaaaaand your icon is ready to be used! Save it and be happy!

I really hope everything’s clear, but if you have any questions, just ask me.

#yeahps #itsphotoshop #chaoticresources #icon tutorial #tutorial #icons

527 notes · View notes

pollylynn · 3 years

Photo

Title: Reproach WC: 1100 Episode: Dreamworld (6 x 02)

She is, in every way, a better person than he is. Oh, she is not without her flaws—and for going on six years, it has been his duty to tease those out, to tempt her to listen not to her better angels, but to her her way-more-fun devils. It has been his honor and his privilege to coax one eye open when she has them scrunched closed so that she can see that the personal failing that has her so tied in knots is simply the tiniest imperfection that exists solely for the purpose for throwing the glorious rest of her into sharper relief. It has been his greatest calling to bluster and preen and feign jealousy and an utterly wrongheaded sense of superiority that they both know is a joke, because she is so obviously and entirely a better person than he is in every way.

Except right now, he thinks she might be a better person than he is in every way except one, because he, unlike her, has regrets now that he’s dying. He as a lot of regrets, and that seems like the right move as the hours of his life potentially tick away. It seems like a litany of regrets is a far more rational response than some zen nonsense about good runs and all that come to peace with it nonsense that surely must have been fatigue addling her brain after hours standing on that bomb.

He has regrets and regrets have him making lists, making decisions, taking action. In fact, regrets have him adding yet another action item to the list: Call Beckett on her no-regrets bullshit. He adds that way down at the bottom, though, because there’s so much else to do. There are so many other action items.

He regrets that he will not be able to finally unpack her apartment for her. That’s an action item for the top of the list with the name Lanie next to it. And the name Ryan appears next to that a moment later, because honestly, what will Lanie know about organizing a kitchen, other than where best to place the knife block so it’s on hand for all your spur-of-the-moment body-disposal needs.

He deeply regrets that he will not be around to oversee her caffeination. That one hurts, because he’s fallen down on the job here. He thinks of McCord and the “coffee”-related gesture that only drove the woman’s foot further into her own mouth, because seriously, who would try to make amends with that? He thinks of Kate and how terribly she has been suffering because he couldn’t be bothered to find a way to circumvent government rules about gifts from millionaire fiancés to get an espresso machine into the building. He pencils in Esposito there, because if there’s anyone who can brute force equipment past the feds . . . well, it’s probably not Esposito, but she would likely be able to use him getting tased as a distraction so she could DIY that right into the break room, and failing that, at least get a laugh out it.

He does pencil Esposito in next to the Deal With Pi action item, then parenthetically ads Call Mother? He feels a genuine surge of warmth for his mother when he recalls the disgust that zipped its way down the line from New York to this disappointing underground lair when the odious jungle interloper tried to call out “helpful” tips about the ACLU. He comes over a little bit misty when he imagines the hideous ends those two diabolical heads will surely devise, and it’s not that he doesn’t trust Kate to take care of it, he’s just worried she’ll come over all soft when she thinks of Alexis suffering yet another loss.

Alexis

There’s just a name there. There are no action items. It’s too overwhelming to consider, and he even thinks for a moment of striking out the Pi-related action items. He would like to understand Pi. He would like to have the time to throw a tantrum, throw up his hands and declare to the world at large that he will never understand Pi, because Pi, that ambulatory pile of hemp and hair, defies augury. He’d like to have the time to be completely impossible about Pi, but that is not in the cards.

So little is in the cards, and he regrets that.

He regrets that he will not get to dandle the impending little Ryan on his knee and school the new father on swaddling and swat diapering. He regrets that he will not be able to buy a literal library of children’s must-haves, then stand back and watch the fun as Kevin and Jenny try to cram it all into the tiny room they have available for the nursery. He wants to be around to see how the Lanie-and-Esposito elopement pool turns out.

“What’s this?”

She materializes behind him. Maybe not materializes. Maybe she’s been watching all along and maybe it’s the fat that his pen has slowed, it’s slipped from his hand as the idea of someone else’s wedding ambushes him and he’s thinking about his wedding, their wedding, the wedding they won’t have.

Whether she’s materialized or just arrived, she’s lightning fast and he is . . . not. Already, he’s halfway to his third shot and he is not lightning fast.

“Kate . . .” He reaches fruitlessly for the crumpled sheet of paper.

“What is this?” She shakes it at him. She’s furious.

“Regrets.” He hangs his head. He’s not a better person than she is, even in this small way. “Kate, I can’t help it, I have them.”

“Can’t help it?” Confusion makes inroads against the fury. “What the hell are you talking about?” “You. No regrets,” he’s mumbling. He’s embarrassed and defensive. He doesn’t want to fight. He doesn’t want her to be mad. He doesn’t want to waste a second, but the sullen words come anyway. “I know you said you didn’t have any, but I do.”

“Are you stupid?” She balls up the list. She throws it who knows where. She drops to her knees and wraps her arms awkwardly around him. “It’s just something you say. Something stupid you say.”

“Oh,” he murmurs against her shoulder. “Guess I’m not stupid, then.” He presses his cheek into the softness of her neck. “Beckett, am I less stupid than you?”

“Hardly.” She manages something that’s a laugh, something that’s a strangled cry. “You’re stupider, Castle. You’re way, way stupider.”

He knows she’s right. She’s always right.

A/N: Regrets should have all the morphousness of dark matter, and yet . . .

images via kissthemgoodbye

#Castle #Caskett #Castle: Season 6 #Castle: Dreamworld #Kate Beckett #Richard Castle #Martha Rodgers #Lanie Parish #Alexis Castle #Javier Esposito #Kevin Ryan #Fic #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Fan Fic #Fan Fiction #Writing #Tell Me More

18 notes · View notes

grande-caps · 4 years

Text

Hello everyone!

We’ve recently noticed that our posts aren’t appearing in tags and it would seem that tumblr has updated something recently that prevents posts with exernal links from showing.

In order for our posts to appear in the tags we will be changing the way we post. You will now need to click the link at the bottom of our posts (or the copyright button if you are on our main page) to access our caps.

Please let us know if you are unable to access any so we can ensure the links are updated.

- grande-caps/kissthemgoodbye

#screencaps #mod post #galleries #grandecaps #kissthemgoodbye

7 notes · View notes

pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years

Text

AWAE 1x2 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

It has now been two weeks without new AWAE content, and the fate of the show is still uncertain, no matter what Moira might have said recently. She did say, however, that “you can return to it and it will always be here for you”, so let’s dive right into what I remember to be one of the darkest episodes in the whole series...

I said dark, and it’s dark, alright - even just in terms of lighting. The cold open is almost black and white (with a lot more black than white), and fully deserving of the modifier “cold” (although that is just a technical term and there have been quite a few beautiful cold opens throughout the series). I’m not sure how I’m supposed to make it through this, but well, I made it once before, so why not?

I cannot imagine the intensity of the negative emotions Anne must have been taken over by in order to be rendered completely speechless. Not after she spoke some of her “25-cent words” even when she claimed to be in the depths of despair. Imagine how much worse she must be feeling now. Imagine that if you can, because it is beyond me.

You know, one of the most horrific things about this episode in my memory of it was the man that claims to have been sent “by her family”. I mean, it is horrific to think what would have happened to Anne if she had gone with him, it is utterly horrific that there must be other kids out there who might fall prey to him, but something I hadn’t considered before is how horrific, though lucky at the time, it is that she doesn’t believe him because she has no family at the time. I mean, as much as I am... at odds with my family, to say the least, I couldn’t ever imagine a life without them. It must be so terrible, I don’t even have a word for it in my vocabulary of four languages.

I don’t even want to think about what must be going through poor Matthew’s mind right now. The man has never been a parent in his life, thought he might become one to Anne for a little while, and now he seems to be losing her again. I do not want to watch my favourites suffer so much, and yet I will have to. I sent myself on this journey, and now I’ll have to go through with it.

You know how much worse it feels to return to something bad after you’ve seen better? Anne might have survived the orphanage with at least half her sanity, but not after she’s seen Green Gables. We saw the way she viewed it and every single thing within it. Going back to that nightmarish place again after that...I don’t want to think about it. Gosh, even seeing her go back just to investigate her past in season 3 was so frightful, imagine how she must feel now that she thinks she’ll have to live there indefinitely...

You have no idea how relieved I am to see this horrifying cold open is finally over. I might have to go back and watch the 3x5 cold open with Beekeeper Gilbert to fix me after this. Not that the rest of the episode promises to be much brighter... might as well focus on the intro.

As dark as this episode is, seeing my tiny boy Jerry for a minute brightens it a bit for me. See, this is what rewatching is for. When I was watching the episode for the first time, there was no way for me to know that Jerry would go on to become one of the little bright lights that this series would bring into my life. And now just seeing him in the middle of all the tragedy and drama of it all, just being there, not fazed by the whole situation... his neutral presence is kind of grounding for me.

As Marilla delivers her worried speech, I’m getting flashbacks of 3x9, where she is in a similar situation - except she already saw Anne as her daughter at that point. Here, Anne still hasn’t quite grown on her, and yet she is so worried - but I mean, after all, it was Marilla who sent her away, only to realise her error immediately afterwards. That last one kind of reminds me of Anne in 3x10 ripping up Gilbert’s letter and then running down to put it back together. It’s kind of on a lower scale of importance than what is happening in this episode, but I can’t help seeing it as an Anne/ Marilla parallel. They really have much more in common than it might seem at first.

Sure, Rachel might be there to try and calm Marilla down and give her hope, but... “Boy!” He has a name, you know. Wouldn’t hurt to learn it, even if he’s just the hired boy (of course, he’s not “just” anything, he’s a honorary part of the family - even if he’s in no way there to replace Anne). Rachel has good intentions, but she annoys me most of the time.

That one shot of Anne peeking through the leaves and branches... this episode might be dark, but it still has moments that are 100% my aesthetic.

[Image credit: kissthemgoodbye]

Mr. Avery? Isn’t he the one who unknowingly helped Ka’kwet escape in 3x8? I don’t know much about this man, but what I know is he’s given a ride to both Anne and Ka’kwet, this being one of many similarities between the two. Seriously, I need a season 4 in which Ka’kwet is saved from that school.

Seeing Matthew go through all this when he doesn’t even know for sure if he’ll ever find Anne... heartbreaking. He really does love her already. A true kindred spirit. But seriously, that girl didn’t look like her at all, even from the back. She did remind me of season 3 Anne, though.

Seeing Anne so cheerful and her usual talkative self brightens my day, except I don’t know how long it’s going to last, and at this point I’m completely lost as to what she’s planning to do. But that’s what rewatching is for.

Poor Matthew went through more in a couple of days than he’s been through his whole long life... possibly. I certainly hope so. And Marilla can’t even bring herself to speak (which isn’t as striking as when it was Anne, but still), and she’s going out of her way to take care of Jerry, as if to make up for how she treated Anne. The girl really shook up their lives in just so little time, didn’t she?

I will never forget what I thought when I first watched Anne recite poems at the station. I could never do that, I thought. People frighten me. But there is Anne, who has been hurt, abused, neglected by so many, and yet she keeps that bright big smile on her face and goes on reciting with the truest passion I’ve ever seen. I have no words to describe my admiration for her.

I cannot to this day believe Anne was willing to turn her back on Matthew - all until she heard the word “daughter” - spoken with such sincerity that she must have felt it in the depths of her soul. Poor old Matthew, who went through all this trouble just to find her again... and she was going to turn her back on him because having a family seemed too good to be true. Because she had been hurt one time too many. But this little word changed it all. It warms my heart, you know - seeing Anne find family in the Cuthberts, then in other people around her. I’m not crying, you are.

At several points after Anne came back, I could see Marilla was trying to apologise for accusing her of stealing the brooch - but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Because she’s obviously still overwhelmed with guilt over what happened to Anne after that. And my, you could cut the tension between the two of them with a butter knife. Just resolve this quickly, will you? It’s obviously making Matthew feel very uncomfortable.

Jerry’s attitude to Anne is killing me... in a positive way. As in, it makes me laugh. These two are such typical siblings - they just don’t know it yet. There’s a heartbreaking moment to it, though, and it will always be there: after seeing him so destroyed, so insecure in 3x7, every instance of him just being a shameless little deadpan snarker will be a slap in the face reminding me of the one single time he wasn’t. I’m not even sure if an apology on Diana’s part would fix this completely, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, now would it? #renewannewithane

Speaking of Diana, there she is now. And she’s so openly happy to see Anne back... I say openly because Marilla flat out refuses to show any emotion about it, and Matthew isn’t exactly know for his eloquent expression. And Jerry was all like “leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep here, and I stayed up late because of you”. So yeah, it sure is nice to hear someone openly express joy about seeing her back.

And of course, the Barries just have to ruin it all, don’t they? It’s surprising how open-minded Diana is with parents like these. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had turned out like Josie. And yet she’s not. How do these things happen?

I see Billy Andrews did not start out much better than he ended up... in contrast to Prissy, who did start out at the very bottom - “Doesn’t she have awful red hair?” Well, to say it in Diana’s tone, she didn’t choose to have red hair, did she? And she’ll try to change it with disastrous results. But there’s time for that. And for Prissy’s great character development.

That scene where Marilla finally apologises to Anne... it was a glimmer of gold in the pitch black atmosphere of this episode. I think Jerry deserves an apology scene at least half as good as this one. And Diana deserves it too, as she didn’t mean to hurt him so bad. The season 3 finale did us dirty in pretending like nothing ever happened between them. But as I said a little while ago, Diana was raised by her parents, so it’s understandable why she acted the way she did. I just think she deserves her character development to be acknowledged by getting a good apology scene with Jerry. We must make that happen. #renewannewithane

Oh, I had forgotten this happened in this episode! But what a beautiful, bright end to a dark and frightful chapter it is... Anne becoming an official Cuthbert. And there are all those little details hinting at the future... the cordial, the pen... my heart is melting.

“Anne Shirley- Cuthbert of Green Gables, nee Halifax” Goodness, Anne, you’re not marrying Green Gables! Speaking of marrying, it’s such a pity we’ll probably never get to see Anne add Blythe to her list of last names. But when that happens, I believe she won’t drop the Shirley- Cuthbert. I mean, it’s so beautifully symbolic. Shirley, her past and origin; Cuthbert, her present and the first real family she’s had (just because her birth parents were robbed of the chance to raise her); and Blythe, her future, her soulmate. Three whole families that she belongs to - the girl who once didn’t have any family but herself. I think that’s beautiful.

To sum up, in this episode we saw: lots of impenetrable darkness, literal and figurative; Matthew nearly getting himself killed while looking for Anne; Marilla nearly falling ill from worrying for both of them; Anne keeping her head up and earning her wages by performing poems and stories at the train station; Matthew calling Anne his daughter for the first time; Jerry’s grounding semi-detached presence amid the drama; Marilla coming to terms with what she did and apologising beautifully; most people of Avonlea not being quite convinced about Anne yet; Anne becoming an official Cuthbert.

#anne with an e #anne with an e season 1 #anne with an e s1 #awae #awae season 1 #awae s1 #renew anne with an e #renew awae #anne shirley cuthbert #matthew cuthbert #marilla cuthbert #jerry baynard #diana barry #jnk watches awae

17 notes · View notes