#borg!penny
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Penny grinned as she finished running a few wires through Blake’s body and watched as fingers and toes began to twitch. It had taken a lot longer than it did Ruby or Weiss, though that may have just been because of the faunus resilience Blake had. But after hours of work, Penny had finally begun the final touches to make Blake an android. All she had to do now was flip the switch on the back of her neck and her functions would be restored. She stepped back as she listened to the now mechanical parts of Blake come to life, her grin became a soft smile as she watched the cat fanus stretch and sit up. “How do you feel?”
Blake paused as she looked herself over and saw panels missing from her body. But that couldnt be right, a living being didnt have panels on their body. Or wires running through her arms and legs. She moved her fingers and listened to the clicks from the joints that were visible. “What… did you do to me?”
“You… had an accident,” Penny lied as she stifled a hiccup. She took a step back and quickly deleted a few files she had uploaded from Blake’s memory to keep her from remembering what really happened. “I had to fix you up.”
“But I dont remember-” Blake winced as her mind started to burn, the mechanical wiring starting to be rejected. She clutched her head as memories tried to fill in the gaps of what had happened to her. She remembered seeing Penny behind her, then pain as something stabbed into her. “P-Penny… what… what did you do?”
Penny sighed and pushed Blake down as she flipped the switch to turn her off. “I’m fixing you so we can be friends forever. But dont worry, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.” With a smile, she started to open another panel and connect a few wires to Blake’s head. She quickly turned around to the screen behind her and started to delete any memories that would make her question what she had been through.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I havent been able to find Weiss yet, I think she may have left the campus,” Ruby said as she made her way back to Penny. She paused as she watched Penny finish her work on Blake. “You were able to work on Blake?”
Penny nodded and flipped the switch on Blake’s neck to wake her up again. “There were a… couple complications, but I think they’ve been fixed. Though, it may be a few hours until she’s able to wake up again.”
“Since we’ve made Weiss into an android, do you think you can track her?”
Penny smiled and pulled up her scroll and pulled up the Vale map. She noticed the trackers for Blake and Ruby showed them at Beacon like they were, however she wasnt able to find the dot for Weiss. Her smile faded as an error came up that Weiss’s tracker had malfunctioned. “I cant find her.”
“I hope she’s not in too much trouble,” Ruby said.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Weiss frowned as she pulled out the small tracker from the wired mess that was inside her chest as she hid behind a dumpster. Once it was out, she smashed it against the wall with a grunt and sighed. “This… this has to be a nightmare. This cant be real.”
“Something the matter, Ice Queen?”
Weiss froze as she heard Roman’s voice and slowly looked up. Without her weapon and semblance, she was pretty much useless even if her body was mechanical. She quickly stood up and glared at him as she reached for anything she could use to defend herself. “Dont move or I’ll have to-” Her words abruptly stopped as she felt her body power down and collapse to the ground.
Neo walked out of the shadows, the tip of her parasol rested against the power switch on Weiss’s neck as she mimicked whistling.
Roman grinned and picked up Weiss, wincing under her weight. “Well, I’m not sure what happened to her, but she’ll definitely be of use to us now. Come along Neo, we need to let Cinder know about our find.”
#rwby#rwby ruby rose#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#penny polendina#borg penny au#borg!penny#borg penny#drabbles#everyone's going to be an android and Weiss is in trouble
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John Russell-Penny Edwards "The Dalton girls" 1957, de Reginald Le Borg.
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The Dalton Girls (1957) Reginald Le Borg
July 30th 2022
#the dalton girls#1957#reginald le borg#merry anders#lisa davis#penny edwards#sue george#john russell#ed hinton#al wyatt sr.
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Penny Borg the 14th Pixal(WIP
Figures the first time I draw Penny is her I'm home outfit after she was yeeted across the Realm, she's known affectionately as the Maid of Borg Industries Because her big hobby is just cleaning in general, she is the one that takes care of the upper apartments and Cyrus's office, while the janitor's focus on the floors below those. As Cyrus accidentally dumped coffee on her neural chip before she was brought online, she was never the brightest bulb in the box, Legitimately the 1st thing she immediately pinpointed as soon as she arrived home was the mess on Cyrus's desk, she had been missing for 6 years.....
Needless to say, everyone was shocked but delighted beyond measure this one came home. It appears she was the one to inherit Cyrus's Cockroach side.
And yes I produce a lot of work in progresses I like rendering them when I want to work on a specific technique or am bored.
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Merry Anders, Lisa Davis, Penny Edwards, and Sue George in The Dalton Girls (1957, dir. Reginald Le Borg)
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What’s everyone’s spending habits (besides Kai. We all know he budgets like a coupon mom who ends up spending five dollars for two carts worth of food)? Who has the Shiny Object Syndrome? Does Olivia buy dice like a little dnd dice gremlin?
Kai: COUPON MOM and will physically fight anyone spending irresponsibly (read: Cole). Will dig through every single thing they own before deeming whether or not they actually "need to buy" something. Anything "nonessential" he owns is usually in the form of gifts from others.
Jay: Also a bit of cheapskate due to upbringing, but with extreme Shiny Object Syndrome. Tries to avoid spending frivolously, especially if he's able to get things in a more practical way/build them himself, buuuut this is also the guy that once spent his science fair winnings on an electric guitar and also bought an expensive backpack for Nya just because she liked it. If he's not buying nerd shit, he's buying parts for potential inventions.
Cole: Goes from being filthy rich to...not being so, but even after going off to fend for himself + being a ninja, he hasn't quite shaken off the habit of being able to go out and just buy whatever whenever. An absentminded desire for new records, sketchbooks, or snacks often leads to the group being short on cash for other pressing things (driving Kai insane), on top of the fact that he still doesn't quite understand just how expensive things can be. Does get better with time, however, and once he resumes his part-time work at the Rockshot.
Zane: Rarely splurges on anything for himself, but will splurge on supplies, justifying it as necessary—even if it is long before they ever actually have need of it. If he does have a little extra spending money on hand, it usually goes towards new books or movies or a pair of heelys
Nya: About as bad as her brother when it comes to penny-pinching, but far less stubborn about spending frivolously, as the rush of freedom she gets from being able to do so is a call too loud to resist, especially after she gets her job. Primarily her spending cash goes to machine parts and the like, or clothes if her stuff starts becoming unwearable.
Lloyd: Never actually had a lot of spending money for himself; would ask his mom for things as needed/wanted, and Koko would usually find a way to buy it whenever she could. When he does get his hands on some cash of his own, he goes mad with the power and possibilities (even if it's just a dollar). Kai has to beat it out of him. Also has Shiny Object Syndrome.
Jesse: Always at least has a little spending money due to his job at his family's shop, but given their recent harder times (Miranda + aftermath of the Devourer) he becomes a lot more mindful of his spending...but, still has a very strong weakness for new clothes and material for new magic tricks (...and anything that can help to woo Cole).
Antonia: Has an allowance—not a very big one, but it's enough to let her save up and get what she needs when she needs, which is usually writing supplies—or ice cream. Is currently trying to save up for a new bike.
Harumi: Goes from being poor to exceedingly well-off. Went from scraping by on the barest minimum to having just about everything she could want at her fingertips...and she hates it. Never actually wants anything material, but if she had to pick...nice meals and fancy clothes are generally her go-to. Along with history books for no specific reason whatsoever.
Olivia: Relies on a good ol' fashioned five finger discount. Has literally confessed to theft on multiple occasions–if she wants something, she's just taking it, money be damned. When she's feeling too lazy to be stealthy she will buy her snacks + DND stuff...but, y'know, the cash she happens to have was probably stolen too.
Miranda: Pre-incident, all extra cash from working the shop went to video games + the latest Borg tech. Post-incident, every cent she finds goes into funding for her prosthetics, which...isn't nearly enough, but, maybe she'll find another way to make it happen...?
Pixal: Straight up doesn't buy things, as at Borg Industries she has all she could ever need....until getting properly involved with the Ninja. After that, basically becomes second-in-command to Kai when it comes to monitoring their finances, but does have some personal funds set aside for a) emergencies or b) when a new mech idea strikes.
Skylor: Goes from being corrupted rich to being rich on morally correct terms. Things got somewhat dire when first shifting Chen's to under her command alone, but after the rough patches of the changeover, her restaurant chain is still insanely successful with much profit. In her free time, indulges in a lot of the things she couldn't experience on the island (and really wouldn't mind helping Kai and others out financially if they asked, but they're all just a little too prideful to ever actually do so).
#ninjago#the lego ninjago movie#tlnm#legacyverse#the ninja legacy whip#kai smith#jay walker#cole brookstone#zane julien#nya smith#lloyd garmadon#oc: jesse marvell#antonia sawyer#harumi hutchins#oc: olivia omar#oc: miranda marvell#pixal borg#skylor chen#look mom i tagged everyone for once#asks from nice people
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Project for Awesome 2023 Perk Fulfillment
Welcome to the 2023 Perk Fulfillment post!
This post will continuously be updated as perks are fulfilled, so you can keep track of whether or not you should have received yours. You can bookmark this page and refer back to it to check on the status of your perks.
Digital perks will be emailed as they come in throughout the year, so please make sure [email protected] is marked as a safe sender on your email.
Even if you bought a digital download bundle perk individually (i.e. you didn’t buy the whole bundle) you should still receive it at the date listed. If it’s not listed, it hasn’t been sent out yet!
Please keep in mind that there are still supply chain issues and shipping disruptions that are impacting shipping times. Note that you will receive an email from DFTBA when your physical perk ships.
If you have any questions you can email us at [email protected]
Please note: If a perk is not on this list, it has not been sent out yet. Thank you!
Digital Download Bundle Perks
Bonus Perks - 3/1/23
Pneumatology of Hogwarts Pneumatology podcast - 3/1/23
Orchestral version of Tessa Violet's "Yes Mom" - 3/1/23
Nerdfighter Knit Socks Patterns - 3/1/23
Digital Nerdfighter Art Bundle - 3/13/23
2 Chapters of A Thing John's Working On ("The Trauma Plot") - 3/15/23
E.T. Movie Commentary w/Joe & Craig - 5/25/23
Hank's TikTok Drafts - 6/2/23
Dadcast - 6/9/23
John's TikTok Drafts - 6/14/23
The Clowncast - 6/15/23
Dear Katherine and Sarah - 7/5/23
Nerdfighter Knitted Book Cover Pattern - 7/17/23
John & Rosianna podcast - 8/23/23
"16 Weeks to Glory" song and lyric sheet by the Gregory Brothers - 9/1/23
Like Letters podcast - 9/19/23
Exclusive Dear Hank & John - 12/11/23
SciShow Tangents Butt Fact Zine (Digital) - 1/16/24
Exclusive Digital Perks
Crabulo.us (monthly subscription) - first email sent 2/27/23
Digital Media Workshop with Danielle Bainbridge - 3/25/23
Mentalist Private Zoom Show - 3/10/23
IG follow from Vitus Spehar - 3/27/23
TikTok follow from Vitus Spehar - 3/27/23
Dear Hank and John Personal Message - 3/21/23
Trivia Night with Hank #1 - 4/6/23
Personalized Video from Grace Helbig & Mamrie Hart - 4/12/23
Club Crochet Memberships - 4/18/23
Get Animated into Crash Course - 4/16/23 - 1/16/24
Zoom AMA with Vitus Spehar - 4/24/23
Suggest a topic for Under The Desk news - 4/24/23 (episodes will be rolling out through July)
Name in the P4A Recap Video - 4/25/23
Zoom call with Aaron Caroll - 5/9/23
Trivia with John & Stan #1 - 5/24/23
Animated Into Crash Course - 3/21/23
P4A Recap Video - 4/25/23
Trivia with John & Stan #2 - 6/5/23
Personalized Soundscape from Flula Borg - 6/9/23
Trivia with John & Stan #3 - 6/13/23
Personalized D&D Character Sheets (first half) - 7/5/23
Personalized Book Recommendations with John - July 10-21, 2023
Hank's TikTok Thanks - 10/10/23
John's TikTok Thanks - 10/16/23
Trivia Night with Hank #2 - 11/2/23
Personalized D&D Character Sheets (second half) - 11/14/23
Crabulo.us - 1/25/24
Physical Perks
P4A 2023 Calendars - sent 3/17/23
Eons 2023 Calendar - sent 3/16/23
Journey to the Microcosmos 2023 calendar - sent 3/16/23
SciShow 2023 Calendar - sent 3/16/23
SciShow Space 2023 Calendar - sent 3/16/23
Awesome Socks Club Bundle (s/m & m/l) - sent 4/4/23
Mystery P4A Perks - sent 4/5/23
Signed Drawfee Poster - sent 4/10/23
Penny Passports - sent 4/10/23
Taylor Behnke's Bat Art - sent 4/10/23
Hanklerfish Temporary Tattoos - sent 4/11/23
Color Canvas Board Hanklerfish - sent 4/11/23
Black Paper Hanklerfish - sent 4/12/23
Hank's Confetti - sent 4/12/23
Katherine's Little Art - sent 4/12/23
Character We Mail to You (Destin's Stream) - sent 4/27/23
Hank Green Books (foreign editions) - sent 5/2/23
A Book from John's Library - sent 5/2/23
P4A Quilt - sent 5/2/23
GMM Floor is Lava Tumbler - sent 5/2/23
GMM Nightlight - sent 5/2/23
GMM Poetry Magnets - sent 5/2/23
GMM Mythical Backpack - sent 5/2/23
GMM We're Still Good Game - sent 5/2/23
Club Crochet Beginner's Dinosaur Kit - sent 5/2/23
Bad Astronomer Bundle -sent 5/2/23
Tyler Thrasher pinned insects - sent 5/2/23
Vintage NASA Sticker - sent 5/2/23
Vintage NASA pin - sent 5/2/23
Vintage NASA Postcard - sent 5/2/23
Sydney Green's Acrylic Artwork - sent 5/2/23
Club Crochet Tiny T-Rex - sent 5/2/23
Club Crochet Hankceratops - sent 5/2/23
Club Crochet Set of 2 Meeps - sent 5/2/23
Club Crochet Red Goblin - sent 5/2/23
Club Crochet Green Goblin - sent 5/2/23
2023 T-shirt - sent 5/5/23
Picture Books from John's Library (w/bookplate) - sent 5/5/23
Orin's Country Population Poster - sent 5/9/23
Mini Hanklerfish - sent 5/16/23
2023 P4A Iron-on patch - sent 5/18/23
Dino going to the moon - sent 5/24/23
Dino going to Mars - sent 5/24/23
Character or Dino going to the moon - sent 5/24/23
Dino going to JWST - sent 5/24/23
2023 Enamel Pin - sent 5/25/23
John's Agloe, NY Maps - sent 5/26/23
Tyler Thrasher Glowing Bouquet - sent 5/26/23
P4A 2023 Blanket - sent 5/26/2023
2023 Commemorative Coin - sent 5/31/2023
202 P4A Logo Beanie - sent 6/1/2023
Sarah's "Doubles" Prints - sent 6/7/2023
Sydney Green's Watercolor Art - sent 6/19/2023
Hanklerfish Framed Art - sent 6/27/2023
Lemon Man - sent 7/10/2023
Signed John Green Foreign Edition Book - sent 8/10/2023
Alice's Cat Drawings - sent 8/10/2023
P4A Keychain - sent 08/31/2023
DFTBA Wall Hanging - sent 08/31/2023
We're Hummus Because We're Hummus Coaster - sent 09/21/2023
2023 Pressed Pennies - sent 9/27/2023
Signed Random John Green Book - sent 10/23/2023
Eons Painted Wooden Dinos - sent 10/23/2023
Eons Sculptures - sent 10/23/2023
Bananagrams from John's collection - sent 10/23/2023
Annotated The Anthropocene Reviewed in German - sent 10/30/2023
Eons Signed Scale Bar - sent 10/30/2023
Inky the Possum Paintings - sent 11/17/2023
John's Vision Board - sent 12/28/2023
Original Butt Facts Zine - sent 1/04/2024
P4A Logo Sticker Set - sent 1/30/2024
Self Care Bunny Prints - sent 1/30/2024
Drawfee Print- Lemon Lips - sent 1/30/2024
Drawfee Print- T-Rax - sent 1/30/2024
Drawfee Print- Crabulous - sent 1/30/2024
Little Monster Postcards - sent 2/8/2024
Animal Wonders Paper Plate Painting - sent 2/8/2024
2023 Quarter Zip - sent 2/21/2024
Self Care Bunny Stickers - sent 2/28/2024
2023 Sticky Notes - sent 3/15/2024
SciShow Tangents Butt Fact Zine (physical) - sent 3/20/2024
Please note: If a perk is not on this list, it has not been sent out yet. Thank you!
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Screw-Up
I should be writing an essay, but brain is buzzing with Ivy and Ronin thoughts so have some banter for them ft. Ivy being a terrible mechanic
no proofing OR editing. enjoy unfiltered rook brain
Word Count: 640
"You're gonna strip those screws if you tighten 'em anymore."
Ivy looked up at Ronin from the small robot on their desk. She'd taken from a scrap heap outside Stiix's limits. It was a rusted piece of garbage, but cute. Plus, she saw the Borg Industries logo on it. Flipping this baby would net them a pretty penny.
Ronin stood against the wall of the pawn shop's back room, arms crossed. He'd been out looking for something too, "big score," he told her. By the looks of it, he either put it away already or wasn't able to grab it.
"I'm not tightening 'em, I'm loosening 'em," she muttered. What she didn't tell Ronin was that she'd been "loosening" these screws for almost fifteen minutes. The cursed things didn't wanna come out.
Ronin pushed off from the wall and walked over to her, standing at her side and watching her fiddle with a small Phillips head screwdriver and the back panel of the machine.
"What's the rule, Ives?" he asked.
"Righty tighty, lefty loosey."
"And what side am I on?"
"My left."
He shook his head. "Check your hands, write something in the air."
She rolled her eyes, but did so, frowning when her right hand almost collided with his face as she raised it.
"Shit."
"You've been turning it the wrong way. That's why you're tightening it... and stripping it."
Ivy muttered a few more curses and stood up. "Damn stupid machinery, this is why I stick to the scrolls..."
"Then you're gonna love what I brought home."
She turned to him. "What'd you get?"
A smirk pulled on his lips. "Well, I paid a little visit to the Library of Domu, took one of their special scrolls, written by a guy named 'Yang.' Supposedly, it's the only one of its kind."
"Not for long," Ivy grinned and ran out to the front of the shop, checking the disorganized shelves. There were a few scrolls she faked before, namely novelty pirate maps, scattered around. Ronin watched her sort and scan.
"It's not on any of those," he finally said.
Ivy stopped, turning to him. "Where is it then? You didn't bring it back to the office."
He nodded at an ugly vase in the corner. Ivy went over shooting him a curious look. Glancing inside, a rolled-up piece of aged paper stared back at her. She picked it up, unwrapping its old green ribbon tie and gingerly unfolding it. Her eyes darted around, taking in the details of old glyphs. She liked that they were glyphs. Pictures were easier to replicate than words.
She let out a low whistle. "Damn, Ronin. Who do you think would want this?"
"Anyone worth their salt who's studying old fighting methods would want a copy. The library itself would pay a fortune for the original. How quick do you think you could copy it?"
"Depends on how detailed. Exactly like this? Two days, tops, uninterrupted. One day, if you don't mind me taking creative liberties."
"We'll see how much demand we get after the news breaks."
"You sure no one's gonna wanna take it back?"
Ronin walked over and took the scroll from her, wrapping it back up and tucking it back in the vase. "Of course they do, that's why we hide it." He reached a hand up to ruffle her black hair, missing when she ducked away, laughing a little in triumph.
"Nice try. So, you gonna help me fix that robot up?"
"Sure, do you know what it's for?"
"No clue, but it's Borg-made. Figured even if I screwed it up, the scrap would be worth enough to make it work."
Ronin chuckled. "Well, let's see if the screws are messed up enough to warrant scrapping it." He clapped her shoulder and they walked back to the office.
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ronin#ivy crest#they are the father/daughter antihero duo#in my heart#ivy only ever smiles for two people and that is her surrogate dad and her gf#can she do mechanical stuff? no and she hates it#but she tries#and fails#ronin won't let her near rex's hood but he'll show her how he fixes rex and that's enough#yes its set right before ronin is introduced in s5 bc why not?#I'm gonna be doing that s5 scene rewrite next i think#but for now i need to do this godforsaken essay about bureaucracy
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Disclaimer: This is not part of the borg!penny au. Just an au of an au.
Weiss took a deep breath as she pressed a button on her inhibitor chip, her body starting to relax as the pain in her heart started to dull. With a heavy sigh, she slowly stood up again as she used her workbench to steady herself. Remnant was starting to become a more dangerous world as grimm started to attack in greater numbers, a few of her friends had started to go missing, and Penny was still awol. And to make matters worse, her heart was starting to fail after a mishap with a grimm. But after years of research and tests, she had finally found a way to give the huntsmen a fighting chance to survive.
She looked up at the machine she had created, a small smile had crossed her lips as she walked closer to place the final few dust crystals. As the machine turned on, Weiss closed her eyes and stepped inside. “As long as this works, we’ll no longer have to worry about pain slowing us down.” She pressed the a button on her scroll to start the machine, the smile on her face fading as the machine started to power down.
The machine suddenly started to whir to life once more, closing Weiss in as electricity started to shock around her. Her eyes widened as her flesh and bones started to turn to steel, the panic fading quickly as her emotions faded. Her eyes glazed over as they became nothing more than lights. The crystals in the machine started to crack and explode as the transformation finished, a new cyber human stepped out with only a single mission on her mind: upgrade humanity to stop the grimm.
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Penny’s eyes flickered from screen to screen from the drones she had out in the world, a frown crossing her lips as she watched grimm tear into humans, faunus and humans fighting against each other and the drones she had sent out to help assimilate her friends and those they saw as close to them, but nothing was more concerning than the new entity she had seen in Atlas. Offering a gift of immortality by giving up humanity, this cyber person had started to become a thorn in her side.
“Is everything okay?” Ruby asked as she walked over to her girlfriend.
“Everything is fine, Ruby.” Penny turned off the screens and slowly stood up as a few wires disconnected from her. “It seems we now have competition to keep everyone safe. Atlas has almost become this… cyber person as it calls itself. It also seems to have undone Ciel in order to make her immortal on it’s own terms.”
“Shouldnt we bring this cyber person into our own fold if it has the same goals?”
“No. This one must be broken down and assimilated if it is still human. Otherwise its a threat to us.”
Ruby nodded. “Do you wish for me to fight it?”
Penny shook her head and readied her swords into the backpack she wore as her eyes started to glow red. “I will assimilate this one myself.”
#Weiss schnee#ruby rose#penny polendina#rwby ruby rose#borg!penny#cyberman!Weiss#borg!penny vs cyberman!weiss#drabbles#angst
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is that MACARENA ACHAGA ? oh, no, that’s MARISA IRIGARAY, a TWENTY-NINE year old SALES ASSOCIATE AT INHERITED ESCAPES AND ASPIRING POET who uses SHE/HER pronouns. they currently live in CASABLANCA, and the character they identify with most is PENNY LANE FROM ALMOST FAMOUS. hopefully they find their own little paradise here in el país de los poetas!
//:: T H E B A S I C S
name: maria isabel irigaray lombardi
nickname(s): marisa
age: twenty-nine
gender: cis woman
place of birth: colonia, uruguay
birthday: march 14th, 1994
zodiac : pisces sun, capricorn moon and leo rising
height: 5′7″
occupation: sales associate at inherited escapes and aspiring poet
//:: T H E B I O G R A P H Y
tw: abandonment
maria isabel "marisa" irigaray was born in colonia, uruguay, and spent the initial five years of her life there before her family relocated to montevideo. born into a family with a banker father and a receptionist mother, marisa's upbringing was shaped by her parents sacrificing their dream careers for a more secure livelihood. while her father came to terms with the curtailment of his musical aspirations, her mother, an aspiring painter, struggled to move past the relinquishment of her artistic dreams. over time, her mother harbored resentment towards her husband and children for the role they played in truncating her ambitions.
despite her mother's usual cold and distant demeanor, there were instances when, under the influence of alcohol, she would engage in lengthy conversations with marisa about the profound significance of art. ironically, these intoxicated moments with her mother ignited a curiosity for art within marisa. she experimented with various forms, including painting, singing, and sculpting, but ultimately discovered her true calling in the realm of words.
at the age of eight, marisa's mother reached a breaking point and chose to abandon the family. devastated by this abandonment, marisa's father, though successful in providing a comfortable life financially, became immersed in work and frequently neglected his two children emotionally.
at 18, she attended university, majoring in literature. it was in her junior year that she seized the opportunity to spend a semester as an exchange student in valparaiso. it was during this time that marisa developed a deep affection for the city and vowed to return someday.
after completing her studies back in uruguay, she graduated and worked as a teacher for a few years. simultaneously, she dedicated her free time to crafting poems and actively sought a publishing house for her work.
one year ago, she made the bold decision to relocate to valparaiso. opting for a less demanding job than teaching, she sought a position at a bookstore, allowing her more time for writing. embracing a modest lifestyle, she now resides in the city.
//:: H E A D C A N O N S
marisa holds a special affinity for mario benedetti's "la tregua," making it her favorite book. additionally, she admires the works of horacio quiroga and jorge luis borges. among her preferred poets are gabriela mistral, rosario castellanos, sylvia plath, and pablo neruda.
influenced by her father's musical tastes, marisa grew up immersed in spanish rock, with a particular fondness for bands like soda stereo, héroes del silencio, and caifanes.
her upbringing also instilled in her a love for cooking, a skill passed down by her mother from their italian immigrant roots. marisa takes pride in her ability to prepare homemade pasta, with cannelloni being her signature dish.
her early education included attending an italian school, but her proficiency in the language has diminished over time since her mother's abandonment. despite being a bit rusty, she still retains some knowledge of italian.
while marisa often mentions "before sunrise" as one of her top 5 favorite movies, her true favorite is "mamma mia!"
unbeknownst to many, she harbors a fear of water due to a childhood accident at the age of five, which prevented her from learning how to swim. she keeps this detail private, sharing it with only a few people.
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ABANDONED AU OPENING!
(I'm sorry in advance for all the angst. This is probably the worst part in terms of blood. But other than that, the entire story is dark... SO........ bear with me) 🥲
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A blast of energy shot out of an inky black cloud, and exploded as it made contact with the nearest object. And then… darkness again. And pain. And rushing wind. It was almost like falling… Because it was falling. Jay opened his eyes to see him falling off of the top of Borg Tower, but it was blurry, and it felt like it was happening in slow motion. He could almost make out his friends’ voices calling out his name, but they weren’t clear either. Jay couldn’t feel or hear anything except for the wind. But then it stopped. Every thing stopped. It was dark, and quiet. Empty. He thought he felt a burst of pain for a second, but he didn’t feel it any more. He didn’t feel, hear or see… anything anymore. Just dark. Ninjago City was under major threat, an attack of galactical evil proportions. The ninja had ordered an evacuation of not just the city, but a good chunk of area around it. And through the chaos, a certain thief was trying to nab all the valuable things the residents had left behind. Ronin. He didn’t care if it was someone’s dropped wedding ring, or a cash register that a restaurant just so happened to leave unattended. He’d take it. And he did. At this point, he had an entire sack full of stolen treasures, and was about to make a break for R.E.X. (his airship) But right as he was about to call for it, something caught his attention. An explosion atop Borg Tower, and something that went flying off. It looked pretty big; possibly one of the ninja’s weapons? That could be worth a pretty penny if that was the case. And Ronin DOES NOT pass up on anything even remotely rare, so he ran to the direction of the objects landing spot. It didn’t take him long to get there, and it took even less time to realize that it wasn’t a sword that fell off the tower- it was Jay. The master thief stood in shock at what he had just found. “It’s… It’s that kid. But how did?-” Ronan trailed off as he stared down at the child. He hesitated at first, but he slowly inched closer to take a better look. “Oh, please don’t tell me that’s all blood…” he got closer. *sigh* “Ya. It is.” Jay was covered in blood, and his clothes were all torn. That implied that he partly tumbled down the pile of ruble. Not just fell straight down and hit the sidewalk. Either way, Jay was dead. There was no possible way for him to survive a fall and tumble like that. Ronin was practically hovering over the ninja, probably thinking about checking his pockets for change or something. What? A dead man doesn’t need that $1.50 anymore. What’s he gonna do? Buy a soda? Just as he reached down to check, something out of a miracle happened. Jay gasped and opened his eyes. Only a sliver, but noticeable enough to terrify Ronin into falling back onto his butt. “You- y- you’re alive?!?” he said in a panic. Jay just lied there completely out of it. He didn’t know why, but Ronin felt terrible for him. He liked to act all big and tough, like he only cared about himself, but this time… it was so weird. So difficult to keep up the act. It was strange, something it Ronin’s head was screaming at him to help him. A voice. One that just kept getting louder. Ronin tried to ignore it, looking away from Jay. But he broke and looked down at the wounded ninja. Jay looked like he was dying. Then Ronin’s gaze met with Jay’s. And there was something he couldn’t ignore further… a small spark in his eyes. It was the look of begging for help. He could tell Jay was in a lot of pain, and the look in his eyes- Ronin didn’t know what in the world he was about to do, but he knew he had to do it. The thief whistled for R.E.X as he picked up Jay. The air ship came rocketing over from a distant rooftop. Jay gave one final look up at Ronin, and then everything went black.
#Abandoned AU#ninjago jay#ninjago#art#ninjago crystalized#ninjago au#Ninjago Abandoned AU#ninjago ronin#angst#Sorry for being so angsty#i'm a terrible person
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Welp never thought the Borg Siblings would develop into my Toon kids in another universe but here we are
Cause they've crossed into my Cartoon Meets Reality Worlds as Simone is working the Streets of LA with Betty Boop and Holli Would and its become a running gag of her landing in the Toon Detective Agency's Jail Cell due to something, a frequent flier
Harriet being a Nurse at the local Hospitals and constantly asking if I am okay with my health and that she can come home but I know I'd be like Cyrus and go I'm fine I have my mom who's a med assistant don't need two,
Penny would probably end up the house cleaner not gonna to lie we would try to get her to stop but she'd continue anyways
Jennifer she's hanging around somewhere in Michigan with her coffee shop,
I can already picture me going great Social Security Denied me again and Violet ready to pick a fight with the US Goverment which honestly would be funny but I'd definitely be like Violet no put the briefcase down
Felix would be out causing trouble with the LGTBQ community known as the biggest diva probably picking fights and causing drama,
Artemis would be the one I'd say she is picking fights with some government over archeological permits and laughing,
Rebecca is the kid I'm most disappointed in she became a cop but landed in the cultist imma good Christian vote for trump corner..... yeah that kid would be the one I'd disown in a heartbeat after having enough,
And I'd be just like why did I do this to myself again? Oh right I like creating too much and oops,
I didn't think the Siblings would follow but here we go, am happy to jump into this new era.....maybe it's time for some redesigns
#ninjago#cyrus borg#the borg siblings#who framed roger rabbit#Off the Animation Table#mickey mouse#Disney#orignal character
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Introducing: Charlie Davis
Fandom: Shameless
Face Claim: Emily Rudd
Full Name: Charlotte Molly Davis
Nickname/Alias/Pet Names: Char
Age: 19
Myers Briggs Type: ISFJ
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw
Love Interest: Lip Gallagher
Occupation: College Student
Collections: License Plates
Style/Clothing: Jeans and a flannel with some jewelry and maybe something lacy, matched with some vintage converse is a typical outfit for Charlie on any given day.
Signature Quote: "Seize the day is a stupid phrase, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong."
Plot Summary: Every penny Charlie has ever made has been for her and her future. Growing up on the south side made her quickly realize that her future was something she’d have to take into her own hands at a very early age. And now, entering into her sophomore year of college, she crosses paths with Lip Gallagher, fellow south-sider in need of some guidance. Witnessing his brilliant intelligence first hand, Charlie knows he can go far in life, and while it’s hard to get through to him, she hopes her influence will guide him in the right direction, even if that direction brings him back to her time and time again.
Forever Tag: @arrthurpendragon, @borg-queer, @foxesandmagic, @connietheecunning, @chickensarentcheap
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Hi hi helloooo do you have more of this multiverse AU??? I read your snippet and loved it and I desperately need more! I love your work btw thanks for writing and sharing with us ❤️❤️❤️
I DO. Thank you so much!!!!!!
I've scribbled a fair amount for it, but like I said in the other snippet, I'm struggling mightily with what this story is and how to shape it. I know fundamentally what I want from it, but there are a lot of roadblocks. Right now I have a beginning, a few haphazard scenes with no context, some very vague ideas, and...profit????
One of my big hangups with it is whether or not I should break my golden rule and tell parts of it from Sam's POV, because this is a very different Sam, while still being Sam, if that makes any sense. And a chunk of what I have in mind would work really well from Sam's POV, and lose a little something if I don't use it. BUT. It's so important to me to not use his POV, which leaves me very conflicted.
ANYWAY, the general idea got sparked by a conversation the 'Yang crew has about the multiverse. One of my favorite ST:TNG episodes is Parallels, in which a ton of Enterprises from different multiverses wind up in the same universe - including one in which the Borg are winning, and one in which a Will Riker who failed to save Picard from the Borg gets to see him alive and well in another reality. So I did some what if thinking. What if Sam doesn't get resurrected by Lazarus? What if the reapers are winning? And what if a Sam from another universe - who never met Kaidan because there wasn't a Kaidan for him to meet - magics the Kaidan who never got him back into his universe, in which the reapers haven't made themselves known yet?
It sounded like a REALLY fun character study of Sam - what makes him Sam - and what changes about him when you change the major events of his life that shape him? While also being an opportunity to flip the script, and make Kaidan the enigmatic, closed off person that Sam has to figure out. With the underlying very sappy theme, "There was a universe in which Sam didn't have Kaidan, and one where Kaidan didn't have Sam, so the universe fixed it."
I am sure that is way more than what you wanted to know, so as a thanks for putting up with it, here's the snippet you requested:
~
Karin Chakwas lets out a shaky breath as the biofeeds stabilize and the patient’s breathing returns to normal. She takes a moment to let her own breathing return to normal. She glances over her shoulder at Sam, who still sits in his chair, staring at the hand now lying limp and loose under his.
It’s almost reassuring to know she isn’t the only one having a time of it.
“Sam Shepard, I told you it was only a matter of time before I regretted the day you showed up in my clinic.”
“You did.” He tears his eyes away and slips his hand free, offering her a wan smile. “For what it’s worth…thank you. Hate to think about what would have happened if I brought him somewhere else.”
She worries her lip. You may still find out if we’re not careful. For years she’s turned a blind eye to the veritable parade of mishaps he’s brought through her clinic without asking why – the less she knows the better – but the ID on the genetic scanner won’t give her the luxury of feigned ignorance.
As it is, the fact she hasn’t already contacted the Alliance is going to put her in an uncomfortable position once they find out. But there are reasons you take leaps of faith, and one of those reasons is sitting in that chair.
“In for a penny, in for a pound,” she says brightly. “I’ve listed him as a John Doe in the system for now, but it won’t be long before C-Sec starts asking questions.”
“And they won’t like the answers.” He rubs his nose with his hands, then props his chin on his fingertips. “I’ll get Garrus on it to buy us some time.”
A smile curves her lips. “Eventually, you may find Garrus’ limits when it comes to bending the rules.”
“Doubtful. And it sure as hell isn’t going to be today.”
“Sam,” she asks, because she has to. This time, she has to. “There have been no reports of weapons fire on the Presidium today. How—”
He smiles wryly. “How did someone who’s been dead over fifteen years wind up in your clinic with a bullet hole in his gut, ranting about the end of the world?”
“Well. I would have put it more delicately, but…yes.”
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@maximuses SAID: He should have known the answer to his own question. Should have seen why Volt accompanied him across the country on a whim. Ever since that talk back in Night City, there was just a new sort of uncertainty that bubbled in his gut; made him question things. Part of him despised it. He never once questioned the why to things. He just did them. Every movement of his was calculated. Driven by survival. But part of him was oddly welcoming to the questionability of things. There was an excitement to being surprised. Yet he couldn't explain why. Perhaps it was simply because it was Volt. Perhaps that humanity he'd thrown away forever ago was still lingering within him, haunting his core and sinking silken fingers between the mechanical threads that kept his heart beating. Tugging st him ever so gently. Coaxing him.
Coaxing him as her hand rested on his had. Swelling him with an uneasy sense of confidence as he stood and pulled her with him. As the words finally left him, softening as his intense gaze met hers.
'Let me show you around.'
The flashing neons of the Big Apple made Night City look sickly in comparison. Crowds bustles through the streets, packed together like ants and truly allowing the duo to vanish. Here, nobody spared a second glance. Everyone had their own agenda and they stuck to it, unassuming and uncaring. Adam didn't seem fazed by it, pushing past the waves of passersby as he kept a solid grip on Volt's hand to keep her from washing away in it all. He peered over his shoulder every now and again, making sure his partner was still there with him. Making sure that electrical buzz between his fingers was real.
She was; it was. Real as all the sights they had stopped to see.
Eventually, the pair found themselves at the footing of what appeared to be an abandoned bar. Yet to Adam, it was so much more than that. There was history here. History that the solo felt he was finally ready to confront. To allow Volt into. Strong hands grasped at the bottom of a shut window, shutters creaking and groaning as he braced himself and pushed them aside. One foot in, then the next. His shoulders raised when he'd found himself inside, a quiet sigh escaping him when the reality sunk in. A strong hand extended, allowing itself to help Volt climb through should she need the assistance.
There was a long bout of silence. "Where it all began," he finally started.
The days before borging out; before Adam even considered joining ranks with the military to rack up chrome. Here, Adam was just... Adam. Was a scraggly street merc without a penny to his name, surrounded by a group of people he'd considered some of his best friends. Now, he was merely surrounded by ghosts. Distant memories of his first crew tucked away between dusted floorboards and rusting kitchenware. Flickering lights. A subtle cooling. The remnants of a squater's camp. Beers. He grabbed the bottles and set them on the bar top, sliding one toward Volt.
"Came back here only a handful of times. Second crew used it as a fallback until they disbanded." They'd backpacked back after a job gone wrong. Adam was in pieces then, barely alive. It was one of the last jobs he did with a proper crew for a long time. That was, until he'd met Rogue again. "Hard to believe it held up. Was built in... '90. Was only a kid when the owners set it up."
A faint smile, followed by a glance toward his companion. A glimmer of something deep within those eyes of his. A dream? He'd never say it himself. A preoccupied glance around, gaze falling on the cracked jukebox to avoid the inevitable question of what it was turning his gears. An abandoned drink followed by trudging steps, fingers prodding at the buttons until it proved fruitless. Worth the shot, he thought, returning to his spot by the bar. Wordlessly, he patted the stool next to him. An invitation for her to join.
// A continuation from this
One word. Four little letters.
Nothing at all. Not normally anyway. But when she said it...
New York felt so much like Night City. The blinding lights, the smell of the streets, the sounds of chattering and foot traffic on the pavement, the feeling of warmth from the masses of bodies traveling around them like a herd of shuffling beasts. And yet, it was so much brighter here. The layout of the streets was unfamiliar. All the landmarks were different, the people more introverted even in their bustling crowds. Life was busier here. And at first, that made Volt nervous.
But Adam grabbed her hand, drawing her gaze up from the overwhelming scene, and those five little words were enough to let her suck in a breath, smile, and nod.
He cut through the crowd, navigating it with all the practiced ease of a local. Just as familiar with it all now as he had been all those decades ago. He looked back at her, his hand never wavering from hers. And every time, she was beaming at him, that familiar blush dusting her freckled cheeks and sending a little flicker to his chest. She’d squeeze his fingers and come a little closer, drawn to him like their was a magnetic pull between hem pulling them closer every time their eyes met. It carried them to the bar, away from the roaring stampedes of city patrons and civilians into an old abandoned bar. She watched him pry open the window, knocking off old boards and shutters that had been use to condemn with ease. So much ease that it almost seemed graceful.
She watched him disappear inside and looked around to make sure nobody else would notice them before following him in at his signal. Sliding through the open window revealed a crumbling interior that was just as deteriorated and dilapidated as the outside. It seemed almost sad how the place had fallen apart. She could sense that the place had once been lively. Now, only the ghosts of those moment remained. It made her squeeze Adam’s hand tighter as he spoke.
"Where it all began,"
She caught the bottle as he slid it towards her and looked at the label and cap.
Still sealed. Still good. She popped it open and listened, her eyes never leaving him.
"Came back here only a handful of times. Second crew used it as a fallback until they disbanded. Hard to believe it held up. Was built in... '90. Was only a kid when the owners set it up."
She smiled back at him, though it was melancholy. Adam showed very little, but time had wisened Volt to recognize the worlds of meaning behind his miniscule gestures. The infinite words behind every move, great and small, every twitch of a facial muscle, every cold, stubborn, closed-off stance. She still wasn’t perfect, but she felt she’d come a long way in understanding Adam. And he knew it too. It was why, instead of joining him in the seat beside him, she smiled and walked over to the jukebox with a soft “let me take a crack at it.”
She pulled it back from the wall and leaned down to inspect it. Time had worn it down. A lot of the parts had age-damage to them, but nothing that would stop them from functioning. It still had an independent power source that still had some juice - a common trick for machines in the 80s. It only took a bit more rummaging to find the unplugged section of cables and link them back. With a crackle and a flicker, the old jukebox purred to life. It took a few seconds to stabilize and properly boot. Adam watched, somewhat impressed over a few pulls of beer as she loomed over the device and looked through the records. A moment after she plucked up an old nickel with no face left and slipped it in to pick a song, she practically skipped back over to him.
There was a vintage quality to Whitney Houston’s voice as I Wanna Dance With Somebody came on. A familiar warmth rang in the static, the kind that only could come from an old record. His gaze was torn from the jukebox filling the otherwise quiet space with the muted music when Volt suddenly took his empty hand, gently tugging at his arm in an attempt to get his butt of the seat. Now it was his turn to melt a little
“Come on - dance with me, baby!” She chirped, giving him that familiar sweet grin.
Certainly the fact that she wanted him contributed to it. The idea that someone wanted his company and was so willing and open about showing it - about showing him how happy he made them - it astounded him and shook up that stony appearance he maintained. But Volt had a special way of not just cracking that shell, but making him melt out between the gaps. Gooey. Soft, even, if just for a moment. (It never stayed. But the fact she could do it all was what made his guts turn in a way that he couldn’t say wasn’t pleasant.) She called him baby,
One word. Four little letters. Nothing at all. Not normally anyway. But when she said it... God, when she said it. It felt like his world stopped. He felt himself freeze up and he could swear his heart stuttered and his mind went blank. He never knew how to respond to that. That one word, spoken with some delight and adoration and sweetness. He ever heard anyone address him like that. And paired with those big blue eyes and that smile... It did things to him. Things that lasted all of maybe a second or two - but it was so jarring that it always felt like an hours-long encounter that he had to take time and recover from. It overwhelmed him so easily in ways he couldn’t explain. All the little sparks and the flutters she could elicit in him. Infuriatingly unfamiliar, and yet somehow comforting.
One word. Four little letters.
Nothing at all. Not normally anyway. But when she said it...
How could he say no?
He shook his head, trying his damnedest to fight the little grin that spread across his lips as he set his drink down and pushed himself off the stool. He gathered the little merc up in his arms, trying hard to ignore the flutter in his chest tickled him as she rested her hands on his shoulders and pulled him closer. This was going to be a disaster and he knew it. But god damn it, if there wasn’t something so persuasive about that goofy, giddy-ass smile she gave him. That look in her eyes telling him she didn’t care if they were no good at it, if they fell on their asses, if they were complete dumbasses for trying. All that mattered to her was that it was him and her doing it together. So they wobbled, and they teased each other, and they stepped on each other’s feet.
“That’s it, there ya go, baby.” She cooed so sweetly, and Adam felt his mind freeze again. It didn’t last quite as long as the first time but God was it still jarring. Accompanied by the surge of sparks across his body from everywhere they touched. He felt overloaded with the warmth that spread through him from it. Damn it. How could one word have him shutting down like this? How could one word have him feeling like this?
One word. Four little letters.
Nothing at all. Not normally anyway. But when she said it...
How could he love anybody else?
#// long post#ask : is this what you wanted#maximuses#mutual : all of my best friends#adam and volt : would you still love me the same ? [maximuses]#( ocm : volt / the watson thunderdog )#( v : chippin’ in and cashin’ out )
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Ridere del Natale
Ridere del Natale
Ridere del Natale, aforismi cinici, citazioni satiriche, battute divertenti per affrontare la festa del Santo Natale con il giusto spirito ilare ed umoristico.
A Natale dobbiamo essere tutti più buoni, non più deficienti!
Carl William Brown
È Natale da fine ottobre. Le lucette si accendono sempre prima, mentre le persone sono sempre più intermittenti. Io vorrei un dicembre a luci spente e con le persone accese.
Charles Bukowski
Putrid, o se preferite Putler, in pratica il tranquillo presidente della russia, ha detto che per Natale, dopo tutto questo tragico dolore causato dalla santa guerra contro l'Ukraina, si augurerebbe finalmente la pace e la serenità per tutti. Certo che l'umorismo nero non gli manca proprio per niente.
Carl William Brown
Natale: provato mezzo per aumentare il giro degli affari nel commercio.
Anonimo
Gingol bel gingol bel. Dovremmo essere tutti più buoni e invece siamo delle merde.
Luciana Littizzetto
“L’inferno sono gli altri”, un aforisma che Jean-Paul Sartre formulò all’approssimarsi del Natale.
FrandIben
Le nazioni ricche ed in pace vendono armi alle nazioni povere ed in guerra; poi a Natale raccolgono dei giocattoli da mandare ai bambini delle famiglie rovinate dai vari conflitti del pianeta. Una mela per la vita, un’arancia per la ricerca, una stella di natale per la solidarietà, un uovo di pasqua per sconfiggere la leucemia, un concerto contro il cancro, una sottoscrizione per la sclerosi e una sfilata per sconfiggere l’Aids, ma per carità non dimenticatevi, almeno un penny per Guy Fawkes. (rivoluzionario inglese, un cattolico pacifista che stava per far saltare in aria il parlamento)
Carl William Brown
Mamma a Natale faceva il tacchino. Un’imitazione di merda.
Mario Zucca
Aforismi satirici sul Natale
Papa: l’unico vice di una società che non vede mai il proprio capo, neanche a Natale.
Anonimo
Per il Santo Natale l'Europa e la NATO dovrebbero addestrare alcuni milioni di mercenari, di tutti i colori, e mandarli a ristabilire la democrazia in russia.
Carl William Brown
Un cane guardando un albero di Natale acceso pensa: finalmente hanno messo la luce nel cesso.
Romano Bertola
Babbo Natale ha avuto una brillante idea: andare a trovare la gente una volta l'anno.
Victor Borge
Anche quest’anno si ripete la dolce tradizione dello scambio delle mogli sotto l’albero.
Romano Bertola
Natale. Giorno speciale, consacrato allo scambio di doni, all'ingordigia, all'ubriachezza, al sentimentalismo più melenso, alla noia generale e a domestiche virtù.
Ambrose Bierce
Avevo letto da qualche parte che la vigilia e il giorno di Natale c'erano più suicidi che in qualunque altro giorno dell'anno. Evidentemente la vacanza non aveva niente a che fare con la Nascita di Cristo.
Charles Bukowski
Non sei il Babbo Natale dell'anno scorso. Siamo in cassa integrazione a rotazione.
Altan
«Presto avremo un bambino.» «Scherzi?» «No, avrò proprio un bambino me l’ha detto il dottore... sarà il mio regalo per Natale!» «Ma a me bastava una cravatta!»
Woody Allen
Antivigilia di Natale. Nell’aria senti qualcosa di diverso. Sotto la neve che fiocca lenta lenta, una vecchiettina avvolta nel suo nero scialletto vende bombe a mano.
Romano Bertola
Aforismi cinici sul Natale
Certo, dire che Babbo Natale non esiste non è una bella notizia. Anzi, è una brutta notizia. D'altra parte cosa si dovrebbe dire? Che ci sono le prove scientifiche dell'esistenza di Babbo Natale? E che esistono le testimonianze di milioni di persone che hanno trovato giocattoli sotto il camino o sotto l'albero?
Piero Angela
Perché l’albero di Natale ha sempre la punta dritta? Perché gli toccano le palle!
Anonimo
Nella sua poesia “A Natale”, Ungaretti se ne stava in disparte al caldo, stanco e dimenticato, a guardare le capriole di fumo che salivano dal focolare. Pensate un po’ che liriche avrebbe potuto creare se fosse vissuto ai nostri giorni, e avesse intelligentemente sfruttato Facebook per poter guardare tutte le innumerevoli nefandezze di questo mondo!
Carl William Brown
Il più bel gesto di estraneità e di indifferenza al mondo cristiano, al tempo, alla rivelazione, ai sentimenti, ai riti cristiani: quello di un rabbino orientale che, a Natale (giorno in cui è vietato leggere la Toràh), tagliava la carta igienica per tutto l'anno. (Lo racconta Kafka).
Guido Ceronetti
Ma vi siete mai chiesti che cosa se ne fa un bambino appena nato della mirra?
Anonimo
Il tacchino va bene per il Natale, ma il Natale non va bene per il tacchino.
Achille Campanile
Non è il Natale l'unica occasione in cui ci si ubriaca per amore dei bambini?
William John Cameron
Natale è un periodo tremendo per chi non è felice.
Giovanni B. Cassano
A volte penso che l'amore eterno sia il Babbo natale degli adulti: sappiamo tutti che non esiste ma nessuno vuole sentirselo dire.
Alessandro Cattelan
Il prezzo dei regali di Natale è inaudito. Ricordo un Natale di tanti anni fa quando mio figlio era piccolo. Gli ho comprato un carro armato giocattolo. Costava circa cento dollari, una bella cifra per l’epoca. Era un tipo di carro armato in cui si poteva entrare e che si poteva guidare. Lui invece giocò con la scatola della confezione. Mi ha insegnato una lezione molto importante. L’anno successivo, lui si beccò la scatola e io un whisky da cento dollari.
Johnny Carson
Battute sarcastiche sul Natale
Prima del coronavirus a Natale facevo un colpo di tosse per coprire un peto, ora farò un peto per coprire un colpo di tosse.
Il Becchino
La lode riluttante è la più lusinghiera di tutte.
Mike Carey
Il cinico è un uomo che all’età di dieci anni ha scoperto che Babbo Natale non esiste, ed è ancora sconvolto.
James Gould Cozzens
Natale e’ alle porte. Vedrò di scappare dalla finestra.
Anonimo
E anche questo Natale... se lo semo levato dalle palle!
Giovanni Covelli
E’ Natale. Sono indeciso se sentire un grande senso di fratellanza o andare a sciare a Cortina.
Altan
Per il settimo anno di seguito mia suocera è venuta da noi a Natale. Quest’anno abbiamo deciso di cambiare. La faremo entrare.
Les Dawson
L’adulto non crede a Babbo Natale. Ma lo vota.
Pierre Desproges
Il Natale non è altro che una stupida festività creata per non lavorare.
Ebenezer Scrooge
Abbattere l'albero di Natale lo fa sentire ufficiale: è tempo di tornare a essere senza gioia e cinico.
Greg Fitzsimmons
Auguri divertenti per il Natale
Quand'ero piccolo, Natale faceva schifo. Credevo in Babbo Natale. Sfortunatamente, ci credevano anche i miei. Non ho mai ricevuto un tubo.
Charlie Viracola
C’è così tanta crisi in questo periodo, dopo la pandemia infatti, ecco la tragedia della guerra, dovremmo cercare di esportare un po' di democrazia in russia e magari fregargli un po' di gas, altro che essere più buoni, dobbiamo imparare dal Putrido, ed essere più crudeli, per Natale.
Carl William Brown
Che altro è il Natale se non un giorno di scadenze quando non s’hanno danari; un giorno in cui ci si trova più vecchi di un anno e nemmeno di un’ora più ricchi; un giorno di chiusura di bilancio che ci dà, dopo dodici mesi, la bella soddisfazione di non trovare una sola partita all’attivo?
Charles Dickens
Per regalo non chiedete a Babbo Natale di portarvi qualcosa. Chiedetegli piuttosto di portarsi via qualcuno.
Ellekappa
Il Natale è una festa commerciale, come tutta la nostra vita. Per questo si comincia a battere la grancassa un mese prima. E' una sovraeccitazione drogata, pilotata, penosa, fastidiosa e inutile perché c'è poco da eccitare in una società estenuata, sfibrata, che vive in perenne stato di overdose. La felicità è un attimo che non può essere dilatato. E Natale non è più Natale perché adesso è Natale tutto l'anno.
Massimo Fini
Penso che le persone che oggi fanno film a tema natalizio sentano che le persone sono più ciniche riguardo al Natale. C'è più di un vantaggio.
Leonard Maltin
A Natale riesco a sentirmi buono solo se nevica.
Roberto Gervaso
A Natale bisogna essere più buoni. Se ti fregano il posto per la macchina, ricorda che è Natale. Non rigargli la fiancata con la chiave, scrivigli sopra Buone Feste.
Anonimo
Era così povero che non poteva neanche permettersi di regalare uno yo-yo al suo bambino per Natale. Fece in modo di regalargli uno yo!
Martin Kaufman
Questo Natale è praticamente eguale a quello dell’anno passato: NaTALE E QUALE.
Renato Reggiani
Battute in Inglese sul Natale
La mia famiglia era così povera che ogni Natale mio padre usciva di casa e sparava qualche colpo di pistola. Poi rientrava e a noi bambini diceva che Babbo Natale si era suicidato.
Jake La Motta
Ai tempi del Coronavirus c’è così tanta crisi che quest’anno nella grotta di Natale spunterà l’insegna “Compro oro, incenso e mirra”.
Covid 19
Caro Babbo Natale, io vorrei che quest'anno per Natale tutti diventassero più buoni e io più figa.
Luciana Littizzetto
Caro Bambino Gesù, in quest’anno pandemico del 2020 ti sei portato via la mia cantante preferita: Juliette Gréco; il mio attore preferito: Sean Connery; il mio calciatore preferito: Diego Maradona; il mio istrione teatrale preferito Gigi Proietti; il mio filosofo preferito Giulio Giorello (si fa per dire ovviamente), ascoltami ora, volevo suggerirti che il mio politico preferito è … (inserite il politico che secondo voi meriterebbe di lasciarci al più presto) e che l’anno non è ancora finito! Ancora tanti auguri e cerca di fare del tuo meglio.
Carl William Brown
Nessuno ha rispetto per me. A Natale ho regalato al mio bambino una pistola BB. E lui mi ha regalato una maglietta con disegnato sul retro un bersaglio.
Rodney Dangerfield
Presepe o albero di Natale? Questo è un altro problema. Se sia più nobile all'animo impegolarsi con muffe, laghi a specchio e carte di cielo stellato o prender l'armi contro 'sto mare di triboli e affidarsi semplicemente alle palle. Meglio le palle. Che in questo unico caso danno sicurezza.
Luciana Littizzetto
Non c'è nessun Babbo Natale, nessun coniglio pasquale, e nessun angelo custode che veglia su di noi. Le cose accadono così, senza un motivo. E niente ha senso.
Veronica Mars
A Natale in genere ci si incontra con le persone più care. Io che sono uno parsimonioso invece mi incontro con le persone più economiche.
Anonimo
“Papà papà… cosa mi regali quest’anno a Natale?”. “Uhm… vediamo… cosa ti ho regalato l’anno scorso?”. “Un palloncino”. “Bene, allora questo Natale te lo gonfio”.
Mauroemme
E’ vero che a Natale tutti diventano più buoni? La risposta la troverete nel vostro albero di Natale: tutte palle!
Walter Di Gemma
Citazioni spiritose sul Natale
Natale è stato e sempre sarà pieno di decorazioni. Le luci e le ghirlande che usano per coprire il sordido, la corruzione.
Veronica Mars
Perché Gesù a Natale è fra la Madonna e San Giuseppe, mentre a Pasqua è tra i due ladroni? Natale con i tuoi, Pasqua con chi vuoi!
Anonimo
Il Natale è una cospirazione per far sentire ai single che sono soli.
Armistead Maupin
Natale è una festa alla quale non mi sento invitato.
Gianni Monduzzi
“Mamma, mamma, perché gia’ ad ottobre facciamo l’albero di Natale?”. “Ma come te lo devo dire che hai un cancro!”.
Anonimo
Condensando ‘ste feste finiscono tutte in “oni”…veglioni, panettoni, torroni, cenoni, doni, capitoni, du’cojoni…
Ciaci Kinder
Mi fanno molto ridere quei genitori che trattano i figli come deficienti e gli fanno ancora scrivere la letterina a Babbo Natale quando ormai anche i bambini più idioti sanno che è molto più pratico mandare un’e-mail.
Flavio Oreglio
L’hai fatto per me! Allora grazie. Vorrà dire che metterò il tuo amante sulla lista di Natale, ma solo se riesco a trovare una lettera-bomba.
Woody Allen
L’anno scorso per Natale mia zia mi ha regalato un paio di ciabatte a forma di cane. Per poterle indossare ho dovuto ammazzare il gatto!
Leonardo Manera
Il Natale serve a ricordare a quelli che sono soli che sono soli, a quelli che non hanno soldi che non hanno soldi e a quelli che hanno una famiglia del cacchio che hanno una famiglia del cacchio.
Progetto Mayhem
Natale divertente a Teatro
San Giuseppe, assieme a Maria, incinta di Gesù, cerca un albergo, ma sono tutti pieni. Per forza non trovi un albergo libero: sei sotto Natale!
Paolo Rossi
Tutto è relativo in questo mondo. Chiedi un po’ alle oche e ai tacchini la loro opinione sul Natale!
Peter Willforth
Me sento come l'ovo de Pasqua sotto l'arbero de Natale. Straaano!
Er Cipolla
Letteratura sintetica. Oggi: tema natalizio. Titolo: "Sono andato con la mia ragazza a vedere un presepe". Svolgimento: Due cuori, una capanna.
Andrea Balestrero
Tre amici stanno discorrendo tra di loro, uno dice: "Certo che Natale è proprio una bella festa!". Gli altri due in coro: "Sì, hai ragione... è proprio una bella festa". Allora il secondo dice: "Se è per questo anche Pasqua è una bella festa!". Gli altri due amici: "Eh già... pensandoci bene anche Pasqua è una bella festa". Il terzo sta un attimo in silenzio, poi: "Però anche scopare è una bella festa!". "Sì, ma sono meglio Natale e Pasqua!". "E perché?". "perché vengono più di frequente!"
La maestra vuol fare un gioco con i suoi allievi: "Allora, ditemi il nome di una cosa rotonda e pelosa". Luigino alza la mano e dice: "La pesca, signora maestra!". "Bravo Luigino!". La Maria alza anch'essa la mano e dice: "Il kiwi". Poi si alza Pierino e dice: "Le palle di Natale!". La maestra lo guarda stupita e dice: "Ma Pierino! Le palle di Natale sono rotonde, ma non hanno dei peli!". E Pierino rivolgendosi al suo compagno di banco: "Dai, Natale, togliti i pantaloni e mostra le palle alla signora maestra!"
Due bimbi parlano: "Io per Natale mi faccio regalare un trenino elettrico e tu?". L'altro: "Io una scatola di Tampax". "E che è ?". "Non lo so, ma so che si può giocare a tennis, saltare, nuotare, sciare e fare tante altre cose".
Su un tavolo c'è una torta e attorno Babbo Natale, la Befana, un carabiniere intelligente, un carabiniere stupido. Un attimo di buio e la torta scompare: chi l'ha mangiata? Dunque Babbo Natale, la Befana, il carabiniere intelligente non esistono...
Il parroco indica il maresciallo durante la predica: "E lei, signor maresciallo... ? un soldato nell'esercito del Signore?". Il maresciallo, sentendosi al centro dell'attenzione, deglutisce e con un po' di ansia risponde: "S... si... signore, lo sono!". "E allora perché la vediamo a messa soltanto a Natale?". "Ci crederebbe se le dicessi che sono nel servizio segreto?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qu_aj1CjfE
Per continuare a sorridere:
Barzellette sul Natale
Aforismi divertenti sul Natale
Dal Natale del 2005
Pensieri e riflessioni sul Natale
Storielle divertenti sul Natale
Aforismi di C.W. Brown sul Natale
Odio il Natale (Umorismo)
Un Natale surreale
Christmas Jokes
Christmas crckers jokes
Read the full article
#aforismi#albero#allegria#arguzia#BabboNatale#bafana#barzellette#battute#cinici#cinismo#decorazioni#feste#motti#natale#natalizio#palle#periodo#Pierino#renne#ridere#sarcasmo#satira#spirito#umorismo
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