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enha-woodzies · 3 years

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➸ CHAPTER 3 | " A NIGHT TO REENVISION "

starring: enhypen ft. i-land daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 2.4k

taglist: @serendipitysung (beta reader), @angeljungwon @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @fluffi @gyeraniee

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“Welcome! Welcome, dearlings, to the most awaited social event of the season! Behold, the Queen’s Court! The ever famous abode of our dearly beloved Queen, and home to all the grande festivities of the ton!

From the most stunning exteriors basking under the magnificent moonlit night, to the mornings of bliss overlooking the entirety of Northumberland, comes the imperial garden acclaimed for hosting luncheons and occasional fancy picnics for the ton’s paramount roster of elites.

A few walks from the garden and you’ll witness the magnificent gazebos on the Swan’s Lake that won’t be denied of such praise. Known to and open for everyone's appeasements, as the Queen herself generously gave the citizens the free will and spot to frolic about whenever they desire. These carefully embellished gazebos are not just eye-candy for most, but also a cradle of the ton’s banal scandals.

Ooh, you’ve read it right, dear. Scandals. Hmm, juicy ones at that. It’s like digging up a rare find or getting a taste of that incomparable tea after a long, jaded day; that is how clandestine scandals feel like after being unmasked to the invasive and ever attentive ton.

So, once again, may I remind you that such secrecies and mischiefs will be unearthed soon after every controversial social event. Keep your corsets steady and your boots firm for not one, but several shenanigans that will happen tonight, so much that you might barely take another breath of relief. As the day falls and the anticipated night comes, beware and be aware.

This has been the Daily Tattle, flipping the pen to rest for a one-night breather on the royal court. I will leave the rest up to you.”

Sparkling, multi-layered chandeliers hang above the finest dressed attendees of the ton. With cascading tiers of crystals shimmering against the royal walls, one would wonder if it's the mounted light fixture or the magnificent ladies strutting through the foyers.

To their right, lies a raised platform with Northumberland’s exquisite septet orchestra, and to their left, wide terraces situated two meters away from each other with a scenic view of the Queen’s bountiful, maze-like garden, huddles up the lords and ladies for a breath of fresh night’s air with glasses of champagnes in hand.

Butlers in their uptight wardrobe stand against huge pillars at every possible arched entrances surrounding the royal court, as the Queen’s top cooks attend to the abundant feast that's splendidly sprawled on the lengthy table at the end corner of the hall.

Most of the ton’s eligibles have been exchanging glances and boasting off impressive accomplishments along every corner of the room, and some were already taking the honors by dancing across the thickly, carpeted floor.

With all his might and family’s pride, Lord Jay, first-born of the Park Family, leads his clan to the hall with his elegant and stunning treasure of a sister in hand as Lord Niki has their fine-aged mother on his.

“Ah! Emily, darling, finally! So great to see you tonight!” Lady Yang quickly turned her head to their direction before slowly rushing to Lady Park’s side. “Your sons are ravishing as always, dear.” said Lady Park as she gives each gentleman an acknowledging nod.

“My, my! If it isn't the jewel of the elites. Miss Y/n, dear, you look very gorgeous. Adorned in all these lovely things, you'll surely go home tonight without missing out a single lord in sight.”

“That is, if they're a suitable match for my sister, Lady Yang.” Jay butts in with a chuckle while tapping his sister’s hand that's tightly gripping his arm.

“You don't say.” Lady Yang smirks to the man before peering over her shoulder to catch her son’s attention. “Jungwon, dear, why don't you and Miss Y/n make use of your time on the dance floor, hm? I'm actually quite parched. Lord Jay, would you do me the honor?”

Jay reluctantly obliged, as if he had any other choices for that matter. He let go of his sister and tended to Lady Yang’s request with a heavy heart.

The two clans disperse to keep themselves entertained as they have such a long night ahead of them. Niki and Daniel walk towards one of the terraces to chatter over what other sports they shall try soon, while Sunoo immediately gasps at the sight of the banquet on the corner end of the room, quickening his paces with exhilaration plastered on his face.

He peers over his shoulders, checking any threat in sight. No one wants to have their reputation sabotaged in the Daily Tattle after all, especially on a special evening. “Care to have a taste of our delicious cakes, young lord?” Sunoo bit his bottom lip with his eyes fixed on the several cakes offered in front of him. He clears his throat in a noble manner while swiftly pulling the ends of his velvety vest. “One tiny plate will do, please.” He smiles awkwardly to the cook before taking a dreamy bite on the fluffy two-layered vanilla cake.

Whereas, the two eligibles are buying themselves some time before finally having a worthwhile exchange. The lavishly looking gentleman gently bowed affront the gorgeous lady before him, handing over his open palm for consent. “May I?” Y/n stifles a giggle hoping her cheeks won't flush while in the presence of her cherished lord.

She looks at his eyes for a moment, searching for a glimmer of light, something from this night to keep for her mind’s bliss. “Miss Park?” Jungwon clears his throat. “Oh! Forgive me. I thought there was something in your eyes.” She chuckles lightly.

But Jungwon, being the ever so oblivious lad, blinks his eyes repeatedly in wonder. “Really? What do you suppose it was?” Y/n gulps down. “M… me-” She mutters under her breath but the young lad’s attention quickly shifts to another gentleman, walking his way towards the two. Y/n huffs out a sigh of relief with the comforting thought that Jungwon didn't probably heard what she mumbled.

“Lord Yang, Miss Park, a pleasant evening. Allow me to introduce myself.” Jungwon steps a few inches away from Y/n as his eyes jump from the man, to the lady in confusion.

“Lord Lee. Simply known by the ton as Lord Heeseung. Please, if you must, be my muse on the dance floor, Miss Park.” Y/n looks at Jungwon in slight worry, but the latter looks away, seemingly unbothered by the sudden intrusion.

“I… I suppose I must.” She slips her hand on the newly arrived gent’s with her gaze trailing off from the love of her life.

“I suppose I should take a gander on the uh… terrace.” Jungwon's lips curve into a small smile and though his dimples are evident, they didn't appear too transparent for Y/n's liking.

“My lady, allow me to uplift your night with my presence.” Heeseung bows to the beautiful miss before taking her hand to intertwine it with his.

To the crowd, it would seem like they were both sharing endearing looks as the lord himself was a known charmer, but on the young miss’ end, she was rather staring at his eyes imagining what it would feel like if it was Jungwon’s dreamy pair she was drowning herself into.

Y/n never muttered a single word to the charming lord. Despite his subtle boast about his indisputable achievements in the high society, Y/n just gracefully went with the flow and would let out amused chuckles here and there for the sake of being polite.

“Lord Lee.” Jay, in his most serious tone, approaches the two the instant the music came to an end.

“Ah! Lord Park. Such a pleasure to see you around. Your sister's very lovely.”

“Without a doubt. Now if you would give me the honor to dance with my sister, I would much highly appreciate the compliment.” Y/n furrows her eyebrows to her brother who just subtly scoot off the pretty lord with such dominance. Heeseung responds with an acknowledging nod, locking eyes with Jay, before handing Y/n’s hand to her almost domineering brother.

“For a moment there I thought you were being pompous again but on a positive note, I very much appreciated the save.” Y/n now has her hand tangled on her brother's arm while Jay caresses it with comfort.

“Not to worry, sister. I won't let you concern yourself with such men.”

“Such men? Confessedly, he's rather ravishing.”

“He’s rather chatty. The likes of him, tsk, tsk.” The two siblings walk around the massive court, eyeing noble lords in sight to keep the young miss heedful of her choices.

“Lord Heeseung, the ton's most favored bachelor and a very skilled gentleman.”

“Of what?” Y/n leans closer to her brother's shoulder.

“Of a lot of things. He’d actually make a fine husband, all good for properly leading a household.”

“But? Knowing you, brother, there's always a catch.”

“Do not concern yourself with him, sis.” Jay clicks his tongue.

“Care to tell me why? So far, he's the only man here whom you've extolled such virtues to me. I don't see anything wrong with him.”

“His secrets are darker than his smooth, charcoal locks. Trust me sister, such stories aren't for your ears. Let's just go after men that aren't too… known.”

“You're not making any sense at all, Jay.”

“What I'm trying to say, sister, is let us find you a man with humble roots and aspirations and the most necessary factor, a tad bit anonymous.”

“Well, I should find myself a farm boy then.”

“Good god, Y/n!” Jay hisses as he rolls his eyes. Y/n enjoys making fun of her brother. Knowing Jay’s temper, Niki and her would sometimes hide behind his bedroom door and play with the lights in his room to scare him off.

“You wouldn't want all of the ton's eyes on you now, would you? Tirelessly spying on your lives, even the tiniest details and flaws should go uncovered. The ton has a lot of matters to talk about already and making you an addition to their roster of hottest topics for gossip is no good for our family’s name." Jay whispers against Y/n’s ear. So much for handling his sister's affairs well, he couldn't handle his own temper the same way.

The two enter into a more secluded room, sufficiently away from the royal court and the people's intrusions, but giving the music enough room to enter. It was seemingly the Palace’s library, very much welcome to whomever likes to scan the lofty pages of the archaic, thickly covered books.

Jay gently removes his sister's hand on his arm. “It is my utmost duty and desire to chaperone you tonight, sister. But someone made an exclusive request to me and I very much trust them enough to uplift you for the remaining moments of the night.”

“Wait, why? Where are you off to?” Y/n looks at her brother in slight worry. “You know full well that I'm a man of my word. I gave away my consent to have you dance with this gentleman, and rest assured I will stay on the other side of this door for you.” Jay leans closer against his sister's ear. “You'll thank me later. Enjoy, sister.” And with that being said, Jay gently closes the door behind him, leaving Y/n in a room with nothing but lingering curiosity.

The room is a tad dim as the only sources of light present are the two chandeliers hanging against the ceiling, exuding a bright, orange glow and the few candelabras resting on each lengthy table.

Y/n gawks at the finest interiors and exquisite, Corinthian columns standing at every corner of the room. She happily twirls around the center of the floor when a sudden shuffling of fabric cuts in. She jerks her head to the culprit and is welcomed by a delightfully shocking sight near the open window on her right.

“My lord! Apologies.” Y/n gasps then curtsies before the man affront.

“My lady.” He retorts. The lass had to blink twice to confirm that what she just heard wasn't a mirage. “Forgive me for keeping the silence.”

“No, no! It's alright. I was just... surprised.” The lady lets out a chuckle. “What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting for my turn.” Y/n furrows her eyebrows in confusion. “The dance? That charming lord out there surely knows his way with the ladies.” The two exchange giggles but is soon replaced by an awkward silence.

“May I?” Jungwon lets out his open palm to the lady. Although he was initially against the idea, it seemingly puzzles him that he had to ask Jay this particular favor among others.

Why did he do it? Probably to keep themselves hidden from the ton. But why would he hide? No one knows for now.

Y/n softly slips her flimsy fingers on the gent’s smooth palm as Jungwon takes his time to place his hand on the lady’s waist. With the wonderful tune echoing from the dance hall, the two gladly join the music with an alluring waltz.

Light exhales, and foreheads an inch away, Y/n could've sworn she muttered something about the lord’s lips as her eyes were locked upon them almost the entire time. Jungwon, on the other hand, would unconsciously bite his bottom lip here and there to stifle his shyness, making Y/n’s stomach implode in multiple fireworks and butterflies.

With the slow motion of their bodies, Jungwon's eyes trail off from the lady’s lips, to her beautiful hazel orbs that are shimmering, thanks to the chandelier’s reflection. He fixes his gaze upon her, and so does she. Looking intently, the gent almost feels like he's floating, figuratively and literally, on the mysterious, yet captivating abyss that are her eyes.

“They're beautiful.” He mutters under his breath. Y/n’s eyes lit up at the sudden statement. “Your eyes. Has anyone ever told you that they're beautiful?” The gentleman continues.

Y/n bit her bottom lip before whispering a response. “One that I can vividly remember,”

“I'm certain they know exactly what they're talking about.” Jungwon mutters softly. Their noses briefly touch each other and to her surprise, Jungwon doesn't even flinch. She thought it a way to continue, and she did.

“a little boy of ten named Yang Jungwon.”

*send me an ask or a message if you wish to be added on this series' taglist!

ㅡ © ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021

#enhypenwriters #enhypennetwork #of lords and mischiefs #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen fics #enhypen series #enhypen jake #enhypen jay #enhypen jungwon #enhypen niki #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen heeseung #enhypen sunoo #iland daniel

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ichorizaki · 3 years

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candle light | k.s.

#PAIRING. kita shinsuke x gn!reader #GENRE. fluff #WORDCOUNT. 1.5k #SYNOPSIS. you have an early christmas dinner with your boyfriend and some of his team members.

✎ author's note is at the bottom of the piece.

Having an early Christmas dinner with some of the members of Inarizaki’s volleyball club was as chaotic as you had expected it to be. The Miya twins were fighting over the remote control on the couch, bickering about which movie to play. Kita, Aran and yourself were busy in the kitchen heating up the food that everyone had brought along with them. Suna was egging on the twins, with Akagi and Ginjima laughing as they watched from the sidelines. Everyone on the team was so busy with their own families in preparation for the merry season so it was a surprise that there was a handful that turned up, anyway. Aran was the host that year like all the years before, seeing how his parents were busy even two weeks before Christmas. Now for him and the twins, it had become some sort of tradition among the three of them.

“Akagi, if I have to hear ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ one more time, I’m gonna lose it, I tell ya!” Atsumu yelled from the couch. You heard some more bickering between the four of them in the living room and you all but sighed heavily while checking the strength of the flame on the stove. They were an absolute handful, you knew that, but for some reason it just dawned upon you that their family members had to deal with that almost every day.

“I don’t care, I’m playing Mariah Carey,” Akagi drawled. The music got just a tad bit louder and you could only assume that he had increased the volume of the stereo in a childish attempt to spite the setter. Of course he would.

“Oi Tsumu, play The Nightmare Before Christmas, ya piece’a trash!” The grey-haired twin barked, battling once again for control over the remote. Atsumu was complaining about the alleged poor taste of movies, claiming that he’s always had the better taste in movies and therefore should be the rightful bearer of the remote for the time being. “I don’t care what you say, The Nightmare Before Christmas works for Christmas and Halloween, so suck it up!”

“What are they even fighting about?” A sigh left your lips, the question not directed to anybody in particular in the kitchen. Aran was mixing the tea while your boyfriend, Kita, stirred the soup broth that Suna had brought.

“Lord knows at this point.” While Kita’s words were but a mumble under his breath, you heard them clearly and it elicited a soft laugh from you. “Thanks for coming, by the way.” You turned to him, raising an eyebrow as you stirred the fried rice carefully to make sure that it’s heated up evenly for consumption.

“Kita, there’s no need to thank me. This is exactly what I need before I spend a week with my relatives.” Your eyes flit back to the pot, your grip on the handle tightening.

“You need a headache before dealing with another headache?” Aran appeared to your side and you elbowed him gently. Silence befell the three of you before erupting into calm laughter. It’s a lovely dynamic that the three of you have, being dubbed the parental figures since the three of you are the most reliable out of everyone else on the team. “It all smells great, I think we can start setting up the table now.”

“I don’t trust the twins with the glassware,” Kita sighed. The taller male was quick to react to that with a short laugh. “Maybe get Ginjima, he looks like he’s a heartbeat away from selling his soul to Satan.”

While Kita busied himself with summoning a helping hand to set up the table, you began scooping the soup into a shared serving bowl as Aran worked on delivering the main dishes to the table. Commotion and clamouring of excitement blurred with the cavalier brashness of the twins’ language as everyone began to take their seats. Only when you were done did you finally join everyone else, seated right in between Aran and Kita as always.

“Thank you for the food!” The sheer volume of the boys were enough to shake even the liquids on the table, a force of habit from their on-court shenanigans and cheers as a team. If just this handful was enough to make you sit back and take a breather, you couldn’t imagine the entirety of the team. Everyone began digging in with Kita and Aran being the ones to help with the servings while you helped with pouring the iced tea into everyone’s glasses.

“Y/N, do you want some beef?” Your boyfriend was quick to attend to you as soon as he was done with his teammates and you muttered a thank you to Aran who served you some of the fried rice. Turning with the intention to look at what Kita was referring to, you were met with his earthen eyes that just seemed to soften every time he looked at you. A smile graced your features upon finally registering that he was referring to the stir-fried beef that Akagi’s mom had made him bring along to the dinner party.

“Sure, Kita.” He was careful in the way that he gave you a spoonful of the side dish, making sure that you were happy with the amount by looking at you and gauging your reactions. “Thank you, my love.” While his smiles were rare, they never were with you. Moments as such elicited the gentlest of a smile to blossom on his face. He leans forward to give you a quick peck on the cheek.

Dinner went as swimmingly as it could with the twins’ constant bickering over who gets the remaining share of which food. Sometimes Suna would be the perpetrator and steal from Osamu’s plate from where he had strategically sat down to his left while his twin was on his right. Even after that and it was time to clean the dishes, Ginjima was the one who had volunteered his hand to help out so you, Kita and Aran could catch a break. He had dragged Osamu along with him as well as Akagi and Suna so that the twins could catch a break from each even if it was just for a mere fifteen minutes.

You were cuddled up to Kita on the couch, his arm slung over your shoulders and your own hands playing with his free hand on your laps. You weren’t exactly paying much attention to what was being shown on the television and you were sure that neither was your boyfriend for his piercing gaze was on you the entire time. His attention was far on something nearer to him and it was you. Turning your gaze and attention onto him, he was already looking back at you with that shy smile of his.

“Hey, you,” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes, the smile on your face growing bigger by the second and you pressed your lips to his. “And to what do I owe the pleasure?” He was chasing after your own lips for a second kiss but caught himself before he got lost in your everything. That was just the magic of you, always reeling him in with your beauty and that stunning smile of yours; everything about you was but a never-ending bliss that he felt privileged to be able to call you his.

“You’re just the best boyfriend in the world.” His smile only grew wider at your words that tasted sweeter than the honey his grandmother had harvested earlier that week back at the family farm.

“We should do this again sometime soon,” you suggested. He hummed in response, the calloused hand that was cradled by your own soft ones reaching up to brush the hair from your face.

“With the team?” He offered, and you playfully smacked his chest.

“Just us two, silly.” Kita’s gaze fell upon your face, wandering all over until he met your eyes once again.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll cook whatever you want.”

Thus with the promise of a dinner date sometime that week, you sidled up to him and got comfortable in your position on the couch. The ones who got dragged into cleaning the dishes were finally done and have hijacked the couch, jumping into the empty space and fighting for an optimal seat where they could see the television properly. Atsumu was unfortunately banished to the floor with Akagi, resorting to sitting on seat cushions while Aran decided on what movie to watch.

Even with the rowdiness of the volleyball players around you, you were completely at peace in your own little bubble at the far end of the couch with your boyfriend. In a way, he’s the only salvation left for you before you have to spend an entire week with your family, immediate relatives included. You wouldn’t have had it any other way. He may just be a candle light in your otherwise dull life, but he shone brighter than any star and sun in the universe and you couldn’t be more thankful to have such a wonderful man be yours.

꒰💌꒱ A LETTER FROM SOL!

HI TWIN @shxnosuke BAE BRO !!!! I’M YOUR SECRET SANTA !!!!!! bro do you have any idea how excited i was when i got your name bro ???? i was over the moon bro i love you so much bro. i hope i did kita justice for you bro, i love you bro. also thank you so much to my sweet baby nikki @lettrespromises for beta-ing it and reassuring me, i love you so much<3

#kita fluff #kita x reader #haikyuu x reader #kita shinsuke x reader #kita shinsuke fluff #haikyuucreations #bbthots #꒰⚡️꒱ ⨾ zeus’ thunderbolt #hq

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notsuchasecret · 3 years

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AsaMakki birthday shenanigans

This was not as shenanigan-y as I wanted it to be, more romantic and sappy, but hey. I’m me. Who’s surprised.

New Year’s Eve was a night of drinking and partying. It was Daichi’s birthday, but their friends always celebrated Asahi’s as well. Ringing in the new year, both of their lives and of the world, was always a cause for drunken shenanigans.

But New Year’s Day was always quieter. A visit to the shrine. A walk in the cold winter air. A pair of hands held together. Clap, bow, ring the bell, receive a fortune and tie it to a tree. Traditions.

Traditions, Takahiro thought, were not meant to be kept forever. Sure, their quiet days were nice, but this was the first year they would spend not just together, but together. So he had to make it special. They had been friends for so long since that first year they knew each other, way back in high school. They had come so far as friends, and now, finally, as lovers. It was more than Takahiro could ever have asked for, too much for him to breathe around, sitting in his chest like a king upon a throne.

They were walking home from the shrine together, the crowds thinned out in their sleepy little hometown, the press over at nearly five in the evening. Takahiro’s hand was too warm in his glove and in Asahi’s own gloved hand, but he wouldn’t take his away for anything. Not when Asahi was there and Asahi was his, and he was Asahi’s. The night sky above them was filled with stars but not one of them could reach him in his state of absolute and total bliss.

They were nearly to Takahiro’s parents’ home when Takahiro pulled Asahi into a dark corner, wrapped his arms around Asahi’s neck, and pulled him into a long, hard kiss. Asahi made a broken noise and pressed Takahiro’s back against a wall, hands hard on his hips and his entire torso pressed to Takahiro’s.

“Happy birthday,” Takahiro growled against Asahi’s lips. Asahi leaned back and stared at him. “What?”

“You are not giving me a blowjob in an alleyway for my birthday,” Asahi droned.

“You’re no fun,” Takahiro pouted. “And besides, it wasn’t your only birthday present.”

“Enlighten me,” Asahi said, wrapping his hand around Takahiro’s and pulling him out of the alley. Takahiro grinned and let himself be pulled. He swung their hands together as they walked down the street, grinning wider when Asahi said, “You’re not enlightening me.”

“It’s a surprise,” Takahiro said simply.

“What on earth could you be surprising me with?” Asahi laughed.

“You’ll see.” Asahi leaned over to press a quick kiss to Takahiro’s cheek, and Takahiro grinned wider, turning to tuck his nose against Asahi’s shoulder. They were pressed so closely together that they earned a few scandalized looks from passers-by, but Takahiro couldn’t bring himself to care. In just over twelve hours they would be on the train back to Tokyo, back to their lives together, where everything was perfect and beautiful, just like Asahi.

They were waiting on the night stand in Takahiro’s sister’s childhood bedroom. Takahiro’s parents had this rule, about unmarried couples sleeping in the same room. It wasn’t that they cared about the gender of said couples, they just cared about the shenanigans they might get up to. So Asahi was relegated to what had become the guest room and Takahiro back to his own childhood room, which was now his mother’s office. So when Takahiro left him in the hallway with a kiss and a swat on the ass, Asahi had no recourse but to go into his own room with a smile and a shake of his head.

Takahiro knew the moment he found them, because he knew from years and years ago where the thin walls were thinnest. He heard the catch in Asahi’s breath, the way he stopped walking. He heard the paper rustle as Asahi opened the letter. He heard the sniff when Asahi reached the end. Takahiro knew he would have to have the Conversation that would follow such a romantic gesture, but for now, he knew he had made the right choice.

The miniature roses, when they reached their home in Tokyo, lived on a windowsill where they had ample sunlight. Takahiro’s letter stayed tucked behind the stone pot, yellowing with time as the equally yellow blooms withered and were reborn season after season. Takahiro touched the petals on their wedding day years and years later, still alive and strong thanks to all the love Asahi had poured into them, just an echo of the amount of love he had poured into Takahiro. He picked up the letter with gentle hands and reread it, shaking his head at how hopelessly in love he had been when he had written it, and how much more in love he was today.

Asahi,

You are not a rose to me. You are the soil. Before I lose you, let me make myself clear on that. You are what makes me grow. You support me, you nourish me, you give me the space and the strength I need. I hope I give you something - anything - comparable in return.

I love you, Asahi, more than I can say. I know I haven’t told you, and I promise, I will. But words are hard for me, and it’s much easier to do it the first time when I can’t see and be distracted by your beautiful face. Ever since the moment I saw you, I knew. I knew you would change my life forever, knew that as long as I had you in any way, I would be the luckiest man there was.

So, I am the rose. I’m delicate and picky and finicky and hard to take care of. But you’ve always been there for me. So this is my thank-you, and my promise that as long as you’re willing to hold me up, I will bloom for you, and you alone.

I love you, Asahi, and I always will.

Love,

Takahiro

#haikyuu!!#HQ #AsaMakki #MakkiAsa #2021 Ficlets #No Catt that doesn't mean I'm doing them I just want to keep track of what I've written this year #Wordly Stuff #Perfect Man Bun #Strawberry Asshole #Happy birthday Asahi you stupid block of mancake you #cattatonically

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superman86to99 · 4 years

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Adventures of Superman #505 (October 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMAN! The Reign is over, and Superman does what we’d all do after being dead for several weeks and coming back to life: no, not visiting your parents, making out with Lois Lane.

Or more than making out, since the next page starts with a caption that says “Later...” and lets us know that they both had to take a shower. (NOTE: Check Don Sparrow’s section below for artist Tom Grummett’s definitive take on what happened in that scene.)

Their post-resurrection bliss comes to a stop when they remember a little detail: Clark Kent is still presumed dead. How are they gonna explain his return without making the extremely smart residents of Metropolis suspect that Superman and the guy who looks like Superman but with glasses are actually the same person? Superman’s mind immediately goes into “wacky bullshit excuse” mode and he starts spitballing ideas, like claiming Clark lost his memory, or was carried by underwater currents, or was abducted by aliens. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that last one would work, since there have been THREE major alien invasions in the past few years, but Lois thinks no one would be dumb enough to fall for that sort of thing. Really, Lois? No one?

At this point, Superman picks up some supervillain activity with his super hearing, so he gets dressed and goes there (though it would have been pretty intimidating for the criminals if she’d shown up in that shower rug). A bank uptown has been taken over by Loophole, a S.T.A.R. Labs accountant who stole a gizmo that allows him to phase through walls. When Superman shows up to arrest him and his henchmen (are they all villainous accountants?), Loophole literally puts his first through Superman’s chest, instantly killing him. RIP Superman, again.

Nah, Supes just swats Loophole away and breaks the gizmo, causing him to get his crotch area stuck inside a vault door. Now he has to change his supervillain name to “DickVault”.

(I freaking love Maggie Sawyer, btw.)

After that, Superman goes to one of the areas trashed by his fight with Doomsday and helps clean up the junk that’s still laying around there. It’s then that he finally reunites with his best friend and most valued ally: Bibbo Bibbowski. (Jimmy Olsen’s there, too, unfortunately.)

Bibbo also introduces Superman to the dog he named in honor of his home planet, Krypto -- and it’s Krypto who provides the most significant moment in this issue. The little mutt starts barking at some debris from a destroyed building, leading Superman to examine it with his X-Ray vision and find some kids underneath.

Turns out the kids had been trapped there since the Doomsday fight, leading some random passerby (fine, Jimmy) to wonder if Clark could be stuck in a similar situation. Superman and Lois look at each other... giving Superman an idea and providing the premise for next week’s issue.

Character-Watch:

First appearance of Loophole (real name Deke Dickinson, C.P.A.), who would become a running joke in Karl Kesel’s Superman and Superboy comics. While his phasing powers are tech based, he also has the metahuman ability to somehow convince attractive women to be his girlfriends/henchwomen despite being a balding little dweeb. In this issue he’s dating a blonde named Sheila (who wears a mask, so maybe she’s actually hideous), but I’m pretty sure he had other girlfriends in future issues.

Plotline-Watch:

As I said... holy shit, five years ago: no one draws Supes coming back to Lois after an extended absence like Tom Grummett. This scene is almost a remake of the one from that issue when Superman comes back from his time traveling jaunt. There’s also a callback to Man of Steel #25, when Lois hears a tap on her window and thinks it’s Superman, but it’s just some dumb bird. This time she gets it the other way around:

Don Sparrow says: “There’s a cute visual callback to the last time Superman returned after a long absence on page 18, when Superman is reunited with Jimmy. It’s a near identical pose to Action #643, where Superman returned from exile in space (and in that moment, infected Jimmy with Eradicator-based space sickness, womp womp).” I think he’s instinctively throwing Jimmy up in the air, hoping the cold of space will kill him. Unfortunately, both murder attempts were unsuccessful.

As seen above, Maggie Sawyer wasn’t too convinced that “Fabio” here was Superman at first. That changes when he calls her “Captain” even though she was recently promoted to Inspector, and she’s like “only a dead man wouldn’t know all the precise ranks for the local authorities!”

The surviving non-Supermen are seen arriving at S.T.A.R. Labs for medical care after the Engine City showdown. Don again: “There are some mild continuity issues stemming from Superman #82, which perhaps wasn’t completely finished being drawn while Tom Grummett worked on this one, as Steel’s costume is almost entirely intact, when we last saw it a week ago, it was in tatters. Ditto the Eradicator, who was a wizened husk, and now is apparently a scorched Ivan Drago.” Let’s assume Supergirl worked her clothes-shifting magic on Steel’s armor and the Eradicator’s, uh, hair.

There’s a short scene where Superboy is visited by his reporter pal Tana Moon, who tells him she quit WGBS and is leaving Metropolis. Awww. Goodbye, Tana. Or should I say... aloha?

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor Jr. has a scene with Dr. Happersen where he says he intends to control or destroy anyone who wears the “S” symbol. Basically, if he can’t date them, they should be dead. He also instructs Happersen to help Cadmus’ Director Westfield get in contact with disgraced genetician Dabney Donovan. Get ready for a whole lot of clone-related shenanigans in the near future.

And now, more Don Sparrow-related shenanigans after the jump!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

This issue is another favourite of mine, but I suppose all these issues around the Death and Return are faves when I really think about it. My copy of this issue had the holographic fireworks cover, and it’s a good one. I like that Superman and the Daily Planet are in natural colour, rather than holograms. The cover credit goes Karl Kesel, Tom Grummett and Doug Hazlewood, so I’m not sure what the breakdown was (or if that’s just a handwritten cover credit, just in case?

The story opens with one of my favourite sequences ever, with Lois waking up on her couch, having fallen asleep following the events in Coast City. I love the detail as she opens the curtain, we see her engagement ring, indicating she knows her real fiancée has returned. This sequence is followed up by two pages of splashes of the passionate reunion of the best couple in comics. All beautifully rendered as they float, locked in a passionate, sunrise kiss. Just lovely (so lovely that I am willing to overlook a small colouring error, as Lois has black hair instead of reddish brown for one panel). [Max: I can confirm that they fixed that in the collections.]

What follows is a very cute scene, and one of some debate among Superman fans. There’s no overt evidence of what happened, all we get is a cryptic caption reading “later…”. Again, I give credit for the subtlety of the writers, as they depict this scene in a way that can be read either way: maybe Clark and Lois made love, and the “later” we are seeing is afterglow, or maybe Lois had a shower since she just woke up after sleeping in her clothes. Then, after calling his parents while Lois showered, Clark had a shower himself. I feel like today’s writers wouldn’t feel the need to be so subtle, and might lose the sweetness of this scene.

In previous posts, I’ve talked about my friendship with artist Tom Grummett, and how as a boy, I would wear him out with all my dumb fanboy questions. Once I got older, and our relationship became a little more collegial (just a little closer to collegial, since I in no way consider myself anywhere near his level of skill or success) I would really try not to geek out too much when we would visit. But the one question I had to ask was about this scene, and what their intention, or interpretation of it was, as I was always curious. Once I had explained to him which issue it was (the guy has drawn hundreds, so they might not all spring to mind immediately!) he admitted that his assumption was indeed that they had sex. So there you have it! [Max: Hot damn! Another Superman ‘86 to ‘99 exclusive, folks!]

However you wish to read this scene, the choreography, and facial expressions as they horse around is really sweet and fun, and such a nice, light tone compared to the do-or-die pace the books had been for the last two years or so. Their easy joking, and back and forth banter really do a great job of showing them as a real couple.

It’s a very nice pose on Supergirl as she lifts off, simultaneously spurning Superboy’s romantic complaints.

I quite like the design on Loophole, and his gang. Loophole himself kinda harkens back to the silver age villains of the Flash as Loophole has a unique hairline, is an older man, with a pretty average build, which was rare for villains in the 90s. His gimmick is pretty cool, too, though we immediately see its vulnerability.

The tearful reunion of the now-sober Bibbo and Superman is also a great moment—if anyone rose to the challenge of living up to Superman’s example in his absence, it was Bibbo. I discuss the scene in more detail in the observations later, but the image of Superman whipping away the debris on page 20 is a great visual, with the dust clouds creating great motion and urgency.

On the whole, a great first issue for the return to the never-ending battle, even if it brings us closer to Grummett’s last issue on this title (for a while).

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

Could Superman referring to the Death and Return storyline as a dream, while stepping out of the shower be a reference to Dallas, and their famous about-face after an unpopular season, where Bobby Ewing emerged from the shower, alive and well, dismissing a yearlong storyline as a dream?

A coy semi-reference to perhaps my favourite line in the first Reeve Superman film on page 8, where Supergirl says “Easy steel, we’ve got you, then later adding, “ok, you got me”.

A little more issue-to-issue dissonance with Superboy reversing himself from the end of Superman #82, where he said clearly that Kal-El was Superman, with Superboy pointing out that legally, he’s Superman and not Kal. [Max: I think he’s talking strictly in the legal sense, since he helps Superman deal with the legal problem on the next issue and all.]

For all the times that Superman has used his heat vision on guns (as he does on page 11), we’ve never seen rounds get burned off, firing on their own because of the heat. There might be an idea there.

An odd sorta-cameo by Erik Larsen’s Savage Dragon, who Superman apparently defeats in the waterfront district. An eagle-eyed reader asked Larsen about it in issue #6 of Dragon’s own book, and he nixed any proper crossover rumours, saying it was just a shout-out from Larsen’s buddy Karl Kesel. Eventually they’d meet in Superman/Savage Dragon: Chicago, a so-so crossover in 2002.

A slightly bawdy joke from one of the Loophole gang, on page 14, as the moll of Deke Dickson calls Loophole a “weiner”.

GODWATCH: A stirring moment when Superman detects the faintest of life-signs, thanks to would-be super-pup, Krypto, and responds “God willing” when someone asks if anyone is alive in that wreckage. The love and concern in Superman’s eyes when he says he’d “rather die” himself than let little ones perish is a tear-jerker moment for sure. Bonus points for the cuteness of Superman heaping praise on Krypto, with the line “if that dog could fly, I’d put a cape on him…”

Question: Does Jimmy know? He comes up with the solution to the Clark problem very conveniently. Maybe he’s smarter than we (and by we, I mean Max) give him credit for? [Max: It was all Krypto! Okay, I’ll concede that maybe Jimmy is as smart as a dog.]

#superman #karl kesel #tom grummett #doug hazlewood #superboy #steel #supergirl #S.T.A.R. Labs #eradicator #loophole #maggie sawyer #dan turpin #sydney happersen #tana moon #bibbo bibbowski #krypto #dickvault #the man whose dick is a vault

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laschatzi · 5 years

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My fic masterlist

Here I’ve listed all my fics - list is constantly updated. Here you find the summaries and ratings - fics without an M or E-rating are all G. The ff.net and ao3 links are included in every fic if you click on the link.

I tried to list them in a way that makes most sense... if you’re looking for more specifications like hurt/comfort etc., word count, just click on the link.

Multichapters (there’s only one so far):

Smooth Sailing (With A Chance Of Definite Passion) (M) Set post 3x22 - I wanted to explore the question where the relationship was going without obstacles like Elsa and Marian. Later, though, other obstacles might appear, because as we know - there’s always a crisis. My very first CS fic, 12 chapters.

Fics with three or more parts:

So Far And Out Of Sight (M in the epilogue) A post 3x20 canon divergence in five parts: Zelena’s portal never opens, and so Emma never has the revelation about missing her parents and Storybrooke being her home. She takes Henry back to New York, just like she’s planned, determined to go back to their life during the missing year. But with her blissful ignorance gone and Henry being less than cooperative, it’s not as easy as she thought. And then someone comes knocking at her door, determined to make it even less easy…

Cute Little Heartbreaker (M in part 4) Modern AU in 4 parts: Emma Swan is a vagabond. She never stays in a place longer than for six months. The night before the first day at her new job, she decides she needs a little distraction and walks into a bar looking for a one-night-stand and finds her object of choice in a good-looking guitar player. Oh, and he sings, too. From that moment on, nothing goes as planned.

Never Hurts (M in part 2) Modern AU in 3 parts, based on a prompt: We are coworkers who hate each other, but on the staff Christmas party you drunkenly confessed your feelings for me, and now I don’t know how to act around you (except, Killian knows exactly how to act). This is also a Christmas fic.

You Can Walk Under My Umbrella Modern AU: 3 parts, based on the prompt “I forgot my umbrella and you offered to walk me home in the rain and I thought this would be the beginning of a cute love story but you’re really shit at this oh my god my shoulder is so wet, hold the damn thing properly wth man”

Neverland fics:

Sugar And Spice Killian is preoccupied that Emma endangers herself by eating something she doesn’t know. Turns out, actually it’s something he doesn’t know. Set somewhere pre-kiss.

Trying Something New The Nevengers have arrived on Neverland only shortly ago, when Killian overhears a conversation between Emma and her mother about whether it’s really wise to trust a pirate.

Fair Fight The day before the big showdown with Pan to get Henry back, he finally confronts Emma with the fact that her sword fighting skills are not as good as she thought. Is she willing to take lessons from him?

In Pain, In Need Set after Killian’s betrayal of Ursula. He returns to the accursed island full of more self-loathe than ever. Tinkerbell tries to help.

Not The Time To Be Jealous Observing a conversation between Killian and Tinkerbell causes Emma to think back to Neverland and her jealousy of the fairy.

I Bathe Quite Frequently Emma goes to a lake to refresh herself a little before the final battle with Pan. Killian had the same idea, and she just can’t keep herself from watching.

Christmas fics:

Since We’ve No Place To Go Modern AU: After a car accident in the middle of nowhere of rural Maine, Emma Swan almost freezes to death, but is rescued by a three-legged dog named Smee and his grumpy master Killian Jones who can’t seem to get rid of her soon enough to have his self-chosen hermitage back.

Pardon The Way That I Stare Modern AU: When Emma Swan meets Killian Jones, he seems to be too good to be true. Good she doesn’t have to ponder over it, but then she meets him again.

Home Alone or How The Grinch Found Christmas Modern AU: Emma Swan and Killian Jones both planned to visit their siblings for Christmas… both were thwarted by the weather. Does it have to be a lonely Christmas for them?

And A Teaspoonful Of Love The first Christmas Day dinner at Emma’s and Killian’s new house, and Killian and Snow get into a fight over the perfect recipe for Christmas Pudding. Will this end well?

Belated Gifts (M) Holiday smut about unwrapping the wrong gifts.

Mistletoe And Wine (M) More holiday smut. Emma is giving Killian a hard time while putting up their first Christmas tree. Until he has enough.

Let Your Heart Be Light Killian and Emma are about to celebrate their first Christmas together and realize that it’s their first truly happy one.

Dark One fics:

Dark One Lies, Dark One Tricks A spec fic about Dark Killian having a secret agenda, and that is to save Emma and destroy the darkness.

It Creeps Up In You The fight of the darkness Vs. the light inside Emma, a spec fic written from the darkness’s POV.

Broken Toy What if the Dark Swan wasn’t able to save Killian in time after he jumped off the roof in 5x08?

Exit Light, Enter Night, Take My Hand (M) Killian is still trying to find a way to save the Savior gone dark. A spec fic written before we knew that he was a Dark One, too.

Other one-shots or two-parters, smutty (some are M, some E, some in between):

In My Wildest Dreams Emma just can’t get enough of Killian - quite literally. And that leads to her having a dream. And it’s wild. But also loving. (This is a threesome fic, so skip it if that’s not your thing. But it only happens in a dream, if the sort-of-cheating aspect is what puts you off.)

Corruption And Consequences Driving lessons taking a turn? Idk my dudes, this is basically pwp, slightly kinky.

In The Good Way Yes, this is what you think it’s about. Handcuff shenanigans at the sheriff’s station.

Just Another AU Emma Swan has a stressful job and a demanding family, and sometimes she just needs to unwind. Killian Jones is always willing to help out when he gets a distress call.

In The Wee Hours, part 1 Emma wakes up in the middle of the night, and well… she just goes with the flow. This is very tender pwp.

In The Wee Hours, part 2 Killian wakes up from a pleasant dream only to find he isn’t really dreaming. Still very tender pwp.

A Hard Day’s Night Emma sends Killian an indecent selfie, and like Regina once said: never thinking of the consequences…

Fuzzy Feelings A neat pile of smuff, Killian’s fuzzy butt is the heart of this ficlet.

Where We Belong Set between 5x21 and 5x22, pretending there’s at least one day of peace to breathe and take care of some wounds before hell breaks loose again. Killian and Emma deal with the aftermath of being the Dark Ones.

Do You Think Of Me? Killian comes home from a sailing trip unexpectedly early and finds Emma engaging in a little self-love.

Up To No Good Emma claims that Killian is predictable. But is it really wise to challenge a pirate?

Consider Living A Life During the peaceful 6 weeks: When Killian doesn’t show up, Emma goes looking for him nervously - and walks in on him when he’s just leaving the shower, seeing him naked for the first time.

It’s In His Kiss Killian’s fingers are even talented enough to braid Emma’s hair. And there’s more.

The G-spot Killian learns something new about the modern world every day. For example, what a g-spot is.

That Damn Bar Wench I Kissed What if Killian actually remembers the encounter of his past self with Emma in the Enchanted Forest?

A Birthday To Remember Emma finds out by accident when Killian’s birthday is. He doesn’t want any fuss over it. Emma and Henry are having none of that. Set in season 4, before Killian got his ship back.

A Few Planks, A Sail, And A Red Vest After Killian gets his ship back, he and Emma inspect it and, when Emma finds a certain garment she remembers, reminisce on their adventure in the Enchanted Forest.

All Of The Hell I Had To Walk Through Set after 4x11 - how it should have gone after Emma restored Killian’s heart.

Other one-shots or two parters, non-smutty:

It’s Forever A ficlet set roughly in the peaceful six weeks between 4A and 4B. Smee is surprised when his Captain approaches him for a chat.

What His Captain Needs A ficlet set in 3x17. After his unsatisfying talk with Killian, Smee watches his Captain from afar talk to Emma Swan and her son. And suddenly he understands a few things.

Lay Your Weary Head To Rest Missing scene from 5x21. Right before moving on from the Underworld Killian meets his father. Can they forgive each other and find closure?

Hook’s Smooth An ode to Killian’s body hair... and Emma’s obsession with it.

A Sorrow That Never Was Said Snow discovers something about Killian's childhood and uses the occasion to assure him of his place in their family.

Not Today Killian’s state of mind right before he follows Emma through the portal in 3x21.

A Vision Softly Creeping Set post-wedding: Killian keeps having nightmares he can’t quite remember. With Dr. Hopper’s help, he discovers one of the reasons for them, and that might require a painful, in-depth talk with Emma.

It’s You Set in 4x16: A continuation/divergence of the conversation Killian and Emma have about the wooden man child.

The Man You Want To Be Set after 6x10. Killian tells Emma story how he found out that he had a little half-brother. Yeah, painful.

Thirteen Snow just wants to make sure that Emma is really happy. Slightly crack-ish fic about Emma being grilled by a curious Snow in the style of “Was there a goodnight kiss?”

Privacy And Pancakes You’d think Snow has learned not to use her spare key. Well, she hasn’t. And this time, she brought David.

Unhappy Beginnings During the peaceful 6 weeks after Gold’s banishment, Emma is determined to find out more about Killian’s beginnings.

Smiles A little 3x20 canon divergence where Killian is not left out at the hospital but is unexpectedly included.

The Past And All Its Scars After his return from Neverland, Killian finds that Emma has already packed away his belongings, and he’s upset. So much for always believing the best in him. A post 6x17 fix-it fic.

The Life That You’ve Lost Set in 3x12: A drabble about Emma’s thoughts and feelings right before she takes a leap of faith and drinks the stuff the weird leather-clad guy is offering her.

Family, Kind Of Alice Jones from Hyperion Heights, Seattle, comes to Storybrooke, Maine to finally meet the man who looks like her papa’s twin… and to hug the woman who saved his life.

The Way These Stories Go Set between 2x05 and 2x06: A glimpse into Killian’s thoughts and feelings during the walk from the ogre lawn to the beanstalk.

A Part Of Something A post-3x20 canon divergence where Zelena’s portal never opens. Just when Emma has made up her mind about a possible future for herself and Henry in Storybrooke, she discovers that Killian is planning to leave.

Done With You While fighting Hook for the magical compass at Lake Nostos, Emma catches a glimpse of his soft side, and she thinks back to their last encounter in Rumple’s cell…

What This Family Does Killian comes back from Neverland, and some things should not be swept under the rug. Another 6x17 fix-it fic, because I felt that Killian deserved a little more than just being forgiven.

A Favor Returned Modern AU. Emma is scelebrating New Year’s Eve with her girls, and they are having fortune cookies of a special kind. A handsome, but infuriating stranger doesn’t help to lift the mood…

She’s A Marvel Killian wants to propose to Emma and is nervous about her reaction - but first, he has to seek approval from the other important men in her life: David and Henry.

Every Little Thing She Does Post Underworld: Emma’s magic goes haywire every time she and Killian get intimate, causing the power in Storybrooke go crazy. This doesn’t remain unnoticed.

All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here The rescue mission for Killian shows up in the Underworld. But first, they need to convince him that they’re not just one of Hades’s cruel tricks. Written as a spec fic before season 5 aired.

Dexterity Devotee Just a little anatomy study of Killian’s hand.

Not Black And another anatomy study of Killian’s hair.

That’s What They Said It takes Killian and Emma a long time, for various reasons, before they say the three little words to each other. But not really.

Home A little ficlet about the 3x22 kiss from Killian’s POV.

Lullaby Emma wonders why her daughter always wants Killian to bring her to bed.

Persistence Killian and David are sharing a beer and memories about memory losses and how not to break them.

Home Again Cross The Sea Killian takes Emma and Henry on a sailing trip.

Blown Fuses Modern AU in 2 parts: Emma Swan and her son Henry are on holidays in a secluded beach house at Cape Cod, away from people, just like she loves. Unfortunately, there are other beach houses for rent, too, and Henry has taken a liking to their temporary neighbor.

Little Girl Lost While Killian and David bicker, they lose sight of more important things, such as their children.

When You Love Them And They Love You After Emma takes the darkness and disappears, Killian’s first impulse is to set sails and go find her. Mary Margaret wants to convince him that they have to do it together - as a family.

More Than Words Modern AU: After another breakup, Emma moves into a shabby apartment. Every night, she hears someone playing guitar and singing through the air vent. She never believed you could fall in love with a voice.

Save Me From The Nothing I Become Set in 2x14/2x15: What happened after Emma knocked Hook out in New York and chained him in a basement room?

Lie Down With Me A little daddy Killian ficlet.

Sleepless Emma can’t sleep, several talks she had with Killian are weighing on her mind.

Expecting Sequel to Sleepless: Killian’s reaction to Emma’s news.

Rotten A little 4x11 divergence where Emma defeats Gold and restores Killian’s heart and assures him that it is, indeed, not rotten.

Black As The Devil, Hot As Hell Sequel to Rotten: Emma and Killian go on their second date. This time, the loft isn’t as crowded as the last time, and so she invites him in, for coffee.

#cs ff #cs #captain swan #cs fic #cs ff rec #my ff list #my ff

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beyond-the-mirror · 4 years

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Music of the Night (V x Reader)

Hello everyone! Another chapter done and ready. Now that I got some few chapters done, I’ll go back to writing Nocturnal Encounters as well, so stay tuned.

Special thanks to @minteyeddemon and @thedyingmoon for being awesome writers. If you want to be tagged too, you are free to ask me anytime.

…………

Chapter 5: Revelation

“Bravi! Bravi! Bravissimi!”

A standing ovation was right before you. Tears started forming in your eyes as you curtsied gratefully to the audience. You had just finished performing Elissa’s aria ‘Think of Me’, and judging by the reaction of all the spectators, your performance was an utter success.

The velvet curtains closed in front of you, allowing you to retire back towards the green room where all your colleagues congratulated you warmly for the amazing job you did on the stage.

As an intermission was announced at the end of the act, the Vicomte stood from his seat at one of the boxes and excused himself from his companions. As Raoul walked out and into the hallway, he contemplated what he had just witnessed happening on stage. The way you moved across the stage in smooth and airy strides, the divine emotion conveyed in your voice as you sang the aria, the authenticity and sheer bliss in your smile and your eyes…

Such a wonderful woman you were, skilled, hardworking… When he first laid eyes on you, he felt a unique and tender sensation flowing inside of him. You had bewitched him, and enthralled him to no extend.

As a smile formed on Raoul’s face, he quickly made his way through the hallway.

…………

“What a wonderful night! I am proud to announce that this production has been an outstanding success!” Firmin entered the crowded green room. The opera had just finished and the all the performers and staff members were now reunited there. “Thank you everyone, for we know that tonight’s show couldn’t have been made possible without each and every single one of you. And now, it’s time for a celebration!”

Every time after a successful premiere, one of Fortuna’s most prestigious venues would close off for the day to host a party for all the staff members of the Opera House. Now everybody was looking forward to a nice hangout with food and drinks after all the effort they put in the production finally paid off.

You were currently sitting at your vanity inside your very own private dressing room, given to you since you were now the new lead soprano and actress for ‘Hannibal’. The heavy makeup had finally been removed and your hairdo was already undone, your locks of hair cascading freely down your back. All the accessories and jewelry had now been discarded and carefully put away, your usual earrings now back on your ears, and a lovely white silk robe now over the red and gold costume dress you had been wearing for the musical.

You sat there thoughtfully as you held the portrait of your father in your hands. You had taken it with you and placed it on the vanity of the dressing room for good luck, so that you could feel his spirit right at your side supporting you.

Placing the picture up to your chest, you gently smiled. “Thank you papa.” And with a soft kiss on the image of your father, you placed the picture once again on the vanity before moving a scented candle next to it, carefully lighting it up.

A knock on the door distracted you from your train of thoughts. Moving to open it, you were greeted by Nico as well as…

“Kyrie?! Nero?!” you squealed as the red haired woman ran towards you and pulled you into a warm tight hug. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here in Fortuna?!”

“Wanted to surprise you.” Nero gently hugged you as soon as Kyrie pulled off and let you breathe again. “Although to be honest, we were the ones surprised when we suddenly saw you as the main character.”

“Indeed. Why didn’t you tell us before?” Kyrie questioned you with curiosity and confusion in her eyes. “You were absolutely divine on stage! And your voice was so beautiful, you completely owned that aria!”

Kyrie’s words made a blush appear on your cheeks, that is until Nero asked a question you definitely didn’t want to answer.

“Where did you learn to sing like that?”

“Umm…” you trailed off, unsure of what to tell them. “I-It’s a very long story actually. Let’s just say a… ‘special’ person for me has been giving me a few lessons.”

“Well, whoever this person is hun-” Nico wrapped an arm around your shoulder “-they definitely taught you well judging by that blessed performance of yours. By the way, you going to the party later?”

“Thank you Nico but I’m still not sure. I’m feeling a little tired, that’s all.”

“In that case you should rest, but if you change your mind you can call us anytime and we’ll take you there.” You continued chatting, catching up with every detail that’s happened in your lives. Kyrie has been doing excellently since ‘Wicked!’ turned out to be a huge success in Broadway, and you promised you would save enough money to go see her perform live. You also mentioned the quite eventful times when famous soprano Carlotta Giudicelli used to work at the Opera House, dealing with her meltdowns were a serious handful for everyone and especially for Madame Trish.

After some time, your friends decided to leave so they could get ready for the party, hugging you goodbye and wishing for you to rest enough so that you could join them later. You were about to change out of your costume when another knock sounded on your door.

“Talk about receiving so many visitors in my dressing room.” You thought as you quickly put on your robe and made your way to open the door. Outside was no other than the Vicomte himself, holding a bouquet of luscious red roses.

“Vicomte de Chagny! What do I owe the honor of your visit?”

“There’s no need to keep the formalities dear, you may call me Raoul if you like.” He offered you a warm and charming smile. “May I come in?”

“Oh sure, please do.” You stepped aside to let him enter.

“I came her to congratulate you personally for the outstanding performance tonight, a gifted voice like yours deserves all the praise this world have to offer.” Raoul handed you the bouquet, which you hesitantly accepted since it was a present you didn’t expect at all from the Vicomte.

“I would also like to request, if it’s not too bold for me to ask, if you wanted to assist to our party as my date for the night.”

Your eyes widened in surprise at his request. “Oh… please excuse me Vi- I mean, Raoul, but I’m afraid I… I do not have a proper dress for the occasion.” You weren’t sure to accept Raoul’s invitation, he was the Opera’s patron after all.

“Oh that’s no problem at all, I’m sure we can find an appropriate dress for you in no time. There are a few local designers I know personally who can gladly lend you a gown. ” Now you didn’t know what to say, your eyes glanced around the room, still unsure wether to go with the Vicomte or not.

You took a seat at the vanity. “I’m deeply sorry Raoul, but to be honest I’m feeling a little exhausted after everything that has transpired.” Pausing for a few seconds, the next words came out your mouth without you realizing. “Besides, i don’t think he would agree…”

Raoul raised an eyebrow in confusion “He wouldn’t agree? Your father or… a boyfriend perhaps?”

You mentally scolded yourself. “Oh! Um no… my voice teacher actually. He is a very strict professor and I’m not sure he would like me going.” It was technically true, the phantom took discipline very seriously just like Trish with every rehearsal. He expected you to be always on time and focus on your lessons, no late partying and such shenanigans since he considered them mere earthly matters that would only get in the way of your career.

Still, Raoul kept insisting, always keeping a charming smile and kind eyes. “Please (Y/N), everyone is waiting for our main star to join us to celebrate the premiere’s success. Maybe your professor wants you to relax and have some fun as a reward for all your efforts this season, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

He had a point. Besides, you could still leave the party at a reasonable hour too and still arrive at your lessons on time.

You nodded your answer. “Alright then, I gladly accept your invitation Raoul. I’m just gonna need some time to change and I’ll see you later.”

He flashed a bright grin before taking your hand in his, kissing the knuckles gently. “I shall leave you then, I’m going to wrap up some business affairs with Firmin and Andre and then I’ll come back to you.” He walked to the door, pausing right before stepping out. “See you later, dear (Y/N).”

As door closed, you turned to your father’s portrait. “I’m not sure papa. I mean, he seems to be a nice man, but…” You let out a sigh. Although at first glance it seemed like Raoul was trying to make an advance on you, there was the possibility that maybe you were simply misunderstanding his actions and that he was just being nice to you. Besides, you didn’t consider too appropriate having a close relationship with the very own patron of the Opera, with you choosing to rather keep things as professional as possible.

“Oh papa… what should I do?”

Suddenly, a chill ran down your spine, feeling as if you were no longer alone in the dressing room.

“Such an insolent boy!” the Phantom’s voice resonated through the entire room, a startled gasp leaving your lungs at the anger in his tone. “How dare this young suitor bask in your glory? Requesting you to ditch your singing lessons for a simple night out.”

“No Phantom, do not speak ill of him.” You searched around the room for the source of his voice, but couldn’t find him. “He’s only being nice. My friends want me to go too, everyone has the right to celebrate after a job well done.”

“I hope you haven’t forgotten what I always tell you about earthly matters.” His voice was now calm but chilling, but you didn’t falter. After all, your family has raised you to always stand up and assert yourself in any situation, and if if your decision was to go and celebrate with your friends then the Phantom has no right to decide over you.

“I haven’t Phantom. ‘Detach yourself from all earthly connections, for they only drive you further from the heavenly music’, those are the words you gave me. I did promise you to never forget them, for you have become my guide, my mentor and my guardian after all this time.”

The Phantom hummed thoughtful before speaking once again.

“Flattering, my child. I am glad to have proven myself worthy of your trust, a precious treasure I shall keep with me always.” He now spoke in a very soft tone, the deepness of his voice almost enrapturing you. “And to show my gratitude for the trust you have confided me these last years, I shall now reveal myself to you, see why in shadow I hide.”

Reveal himself? Were you about to truly meet the Phantom? He kept his identity a total secret ever since he appeared to you that day inside the darkness of the storeroom, and now he was about to reveal his real identity to you!

So many questions filled your mind. Who is he really? Was he an actual ghost? What was his real name?

“Phantom, where are you now?”

“My lovely nightingale, look at your face in the mirror behind you. I am there inside.”

You turned back. Hanging on the wall in front of you was a full body mirror that was normally used during fitting tests for the costumes and when putting on big and complex gowns for the play. You slowly approached it while staring at your own reflection, wondering what the Phantom meant with him being ‘inside the mirror’.

You were now standing right in front of it, the only reflection on its surface being yours. It was then that strange a silhouette appeared right next to your own reflection, it was barely visible and you tried your best to identify what it was.

As the image became clearer, you almost fell to the ground in fear. The faint image of a tall man had appeared next to your own reflection, he appeared to be wearing an all-black outfit consisting in a tailored suit, a long cape on his back and an elegant wide brim hat that obscured the upper half of his face.

There was no doubt about it. It was him.

“Phantom… Is that really you?”

“Yes, my child. I am your angel of music, the one watching over you all this time.” A clicking sound rang in your ears, and right before you, the mirror began sliding to the side, revealing what appeared to be an old set of stairs that descended deeply into the dark.

And right at the entrance, was the Phantom itself. The exquisite black suit fitted perfectly over his lithe body, the collar sporting a twin pair of intricate silver brooches at the lapels of his shirt joined together by two silver chains and each piece decorated with tiny green jewels. Right over the knot of his black silk tie, another similar brooch was pinned, this one bigger and crowned with a beautiful emerald. Under the brim of his hat, you noticed a white mask covering the left side of his face, making you wonder about a possible reason for the man to obscure his face.

“My angel of music, hide no longer from me.” Soft plump lips parted as the words left his mouth, his voice deep, full of mirth and power.

He raised a hand dressed in a black glove, offering it to you.

“Come to me, my angel of music.”

Something inside you started pulling you towards him, this man that towered over you and held such power and magnificence in his presence. It was like your mind somehow disconnected itself from reality, and unconsciously, you were already taking steps towards the Phantom.

“Come to me, my angel of music.”

He repeated. Your eyes darkened and half-lidded, your lips slightly parted as steady puffs of air left your lungs. His elegant and mighty figure towered over you, tall and proud, an oddly familiar cane held firmly on his other hand. Why was it so familiar? Why?

“Come to me, my angel of music.”

Entering the passage inside the mirror, you stood right before him. And with a sway of his cape, the Phantom closed the mirror back to its former place right behind you.

youtube

…………

“What a performance I say! I even dare to assure we have made the greatest discovery of the year with Miss (Y/N)!” Andre exclaimed loudly as they all made their way towards the main foyer of the theatre, now that the business side had been sorted, the only thing left to do was to celebrate.

“I completely agree, I can see a bright and successful career ahead of her.” Raoul added to the new owners’ compliments about you. “Now if you excuse me, gentlemen, I shall fetch Miss (Y/N) from her dressing room. I assume she must be ready by now to go to the party.”

“Very well then Vicomte, we’ll see you both there.” Andre bowed before leaving alongside Firmin.

Once outside your dressing room Raoul politely knocked at the door, but to his surprise, no answer came. He knocked again, twice, still not answer.

“(Y/N)? Is everything alright there?” No answer.

Fearing something might have happened to you, he quickly opened the door… only to find the dressing room completely empty.

“(Y/N)?” His eyes searched everywhere, but couldn’t find you. Looking down, a single rose from the bouquet he had gifted you earlier had fallen to the floor and now laid forgotten in the middle of the room.

#devil may cry #phantom of the opera au #dmc V #V x reader #V x you #self-insert #fanfiction #fanfic

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kamizite · 7 years

Text

Predictions and Rants. Wrestlemania 33 edition!!!

Sigh… what happened guys? If you watch the monthly podcast you know the theme of the brand split has been Smackdown has weak cards on Paper that Over perform and Raw has Strong cards on paper that underperform. The Big joint PPVs have been decent some of them actually really good (Survivor Series) and some of them just okay (Royal Rumble).

So here we are… in Pointing Season and I have to say… I’m not feeling this years Wrestlemania. Will I still watch it? Yeah probably but her is just a few thoughts and predictions on the upcoming card.

Honorable Mention

Luke Harper. As of right now he has not been entered in the Battle Royal and odds are he will be relegated to nothing or interference in the Orton/Waytt Main Event. Don’t worry Luke. I’ll be Sunday and we all will know what that really means. That you are Number 1 in our hearts.

The Smackdown Tag Team Championship The division was Dead after American alpha won Tag Team Turmoil. Ironcally that’s my favorite match type but the way the went about it just.. ug. The SDTTD from the start has basically been NXT (Breezango individually, and Hype Bros. Vaudevillians, American Alpha, The Ascension, Rhyno and one of the Original NXTers Heath Slater) w/ the Usos. With the exception of AA and the USO ever everyone else has been treated like Clown shoes before and after the brand split. All that being said… they deserve a championship match at the biggest show of the year and to now be relegated as filler for the Battle Royal.

The Precook

Alexa Bliss Vs. The World. So if the punch line here was to have Naomi win the title in her home state… why did they give it to her at Elimination Chamber and had her surrender it the two weeks later? Was that injury legit and they were playing it safe? Would this “all available women on the roster” type hype better fit crowning a New Smackdown Women’s Champion at Mania then the one off Match with Becky and the shit show that followed? For that Matter, What is with the STILL “We aren’t sure what match we’re having” nonsense. Alexa deserves better than this, throw away make sure everyone get to play match. Becky Deserves better. Mickie Deserves better. The SDWD is not your filler match Danmit! With that said, I look for Naomi or some unnamed as of yet participant to walk away.

The Only Cruiserweights that Matter: Austin Ares vs. nEVILle Seriously.. with the possible exceptions of Jack Gallagher and THE (not A) Brian Kendrick is there any one else that matters? 205 live has been an unmitigated Disaster. The writing is horrible, they perform in front of a dead crowd after the main event of Smackdown, The Wrestling is good but the writing is shoddy. I really feels like 205 Live is better served doing it’s own thing, maybe from the NXT arena where you can get a small but enthusiastic group to help embrace these characters and will appreciate work rate. ALL that being said A Dub has returned and it’s good to see him and rightfully he’s the money match for the man that is single handedly trying to save this division. I love Heel nEVILle. I also love that A dub is owning the crap out of being Precooked by saying that it just needed to be elevated and he’s the right guy for the job. This is the guy we needed when he debuted. On any other show I’d say the nEVILle retains so we can get a good story out of this but this is pointing season, A Dub is coming back from a pretty harsh injury and this is the show where fairytales come true. A Dub for the win.

“Has Everyone (But Luke Harper) gotten a turn to play?” Battle Royal can you tell I’m a little bitter about his exclusion from the show? Look this is an excuse to get everyone on the card. Winner it did not help Cesaro at 30, Didn’t Help Big show at 31, and did nothing for A-Ron Corbi at 32. The fact that this battle Royal has Bruan Stowman who has been flying in the last six months and Sami freaking Zayn A.K.A. the best God dam worker on the card is criminal! CRIMINAL! I look for Stowman to win this but we’re all adults here. I don’t care, You don’t care, No body cares.

The Show Proper

In my last rant I talked about how the disrespect to Smackdown was just so apparent. A day removed from that rant, I feel even more strongly that Smackdown is being hamstrung because they are perceive in management as “The B show”. I bleed Smackdown Blue and I will always Rep for them as they are much better than the Trips and Steph show. But with that said let’s talk about

Good Brothers v. Shamsaro v. The Realest Jobbers in the Room (Competitive Lightbulb Changing Match for the Raw Tag team titles) At least the new day are in this match. I love the new day but I think they are just perfect operating as hosts and hopefully can go to smackdown and return to their heelish ways. So confession time. I thought the cop out of the Sheamus/Cesaro best of 7 series was weak sauce and I HATED the thought of them as a tag team mostly because Cesaro deserves a serious singles run. But I’m Always one to admit when I’m wrong and they have won me over. I even dig that Bourg Kick/Hart Attack Move they did a couple of weeks ago but then I’m a sucker for a Tag Team finisher. I will Always Mark for gallows and Anderson and the E has seriously dropped the ball with them. I have to wonder if their storyline got wrecked when Finn went down with an injury and they had no clue what to do with them. You know what.. I’m also going to say it. I. HATE. Enzo and Cass. Mostly Enzo. His character is not a good person, he drags Cass down who was; months ago competing for the universal championship. He makes more trouble then he solves, and always talking about thing that I MOST CERTAINLY CAN TEACH ENZO! I CAN TEACH ALL THOSE THINGS IN YOUR MONOLOGUE! *ahem* Anyway. The ladders is just a reason to make them the first match at mania. I’m sorry to say this but I think the Realest Jobbers In the Room are gonna walk away with their first Tag Team championship, if for any reason that this is the only match that Enzo and his no offense self can conceivably win.

Dean Ambrose vs A-ron Corbi/Boring Crobin (take your pick) for the Intercontental Championship here’s a fun fact, the last PPV the IC belt was defended on was TLC In December with Miz and Dolph. Man remember all the hard work they put in to elevate that title after the brand split and should have rightfully been the main event of no mercy? Also, I’m a Big dean Ambrose fan but why is it when he gets a singles belt does it suddenly not get defended. I mean he had to with the World Title but this is exactly what happened with his US title run. Again I love Ambrose, and I think this is going to be a great match. All joking aside Corbin has made himself interesting despite the writes booking him like a schmuck that couldn’t win a match against Dolph Ziggler with a broken neck (real thing that happened) Now that they are booking him like a monster I’m interested in what he does and of course that’s when they relegate most of his stuff in the last three weeks to “Oh yeah this happened” segments between matches, talking smack, and the pay off last week where the match has been official. I think Baron is gonna walk away with the title here. He needs it for legitimacy. Plus the faces can’t win every match.

Good Friends, Better Enemies (Kevin Owens V. Chris Jericho for the US title.) This should have been for the Universal Championship. It really should have. Jericho is so good these days he’s gotten a dammed list over and with KO it was super entertaining to see them week in and out. Especially the After RAW shenanigans with the Undertaker I got to see live! I love the return to the intense prize fighter Owens and I think this match if gonna possibly be match of the night. Huh… I just realized. Samoa Joe isn’t booked on the card. That can’t be good for Larerell’s Favorite Wrestler. K.O. for the win and the title because this is going to become the important belt. More on that later.

Total Diva’s: The Match (Big Match John and Super Girl vs. The Marine and Mrs. The Marine for… reasons) confession time again. Last year I said the Miz needed to be a manager, that he just wasn’t cut out for Wrestling but would be a great mouth piece. It’s on youtube so I can’t act like I didn’t say it. I was wrong. I was so Wrong. The Miz has made me believe him. The Miz made the IC belt worth while. His Promos over the last 6 weeks with John Cena have been Straight Fire! (Sorry Dame Dolph Ziggler) I’m more invested in this match then any other on Smackdown’s side. Maryse was a good wrestler back in the Diva’s Era so I’m interested to see what she can bring to the table having been out of action so long. Nikki is serviceable in the ring I feel, I’m sure she has her fans. I’m not one of them but she works hard to put the best match she can and I really respect that. By all rights, Miz should… NEEDS to win this. But it’s pointing Season and let’s be honest, You can’t Beat Super Man. Also look for John to Propose after the match. Just Sayin’.

Can someone please hold this Belt for more than 4 weeks!?! (Bailey v Charlotte v Sasha Banks v Nia Jax Fatal Four way Elimination for the Raw Women’s championship) This feels less can everyone play but it illustrates a point. Stuff as many competitors in a Women’s Division match as you can. That’s a little harsh, I Realize but I mean.. would it Kill them to have a one on one match and put the other two in their own match? I’m just saying Smackdown’s Last PPV had three Women’s Matches. I’m a fan of all these Women, and I feel like Nia has been over looked in the division for a while if for the only reason as she feels like a Division Killer to me like Chyna, Awesome Kong, or Beth Phoenix was. Sahsa and Charolette are always Awesome together and Throw Baily in the Mix and great stuff is bound to happen. As much as I want to say put it on Nia and settle down with the title swaps for a while, I think Bailey walks out because She is the epitome of a dream moment coming true.

*sigh* We could have had Shawn (A.J. Styles Vs. Shane McMahon because Brock didn’t want to do it) I think it’s worse that Shawn said they offered him the match and he turned it down. I mean. Michaels v. Styles? Money.. just money all over. Not that I don’t Enjoy Shane-o-bump but this feels shoe horned in. I feel like when you have the best wrestler in the world you can find… you know… another wrestler for him to work with on the grandest stage of them all. That being said, Styles pulled good matchs out of Roman and Shane even in his 40’s is no slouch. But We’re all adults here. A.J. is winning. It is the only logical conclusion.

Seth Rollins vs Triple H in a Non-Sanctioned Match. There is a part of me, the part of me that will suspend my disbelief that worries that there is a nugget of truth in Rollins signing a Hold Harmless just so he doesn’t miss two straight manias. That being said, this is the logical conclusion to the turn that happened.. wow.. like three years ago. Pedigree vs (Less awesome looking) Pedigree. You know, I know this is the Trips Vanity match and all buyt I really hope this is the last year for this because to a lesser extent I feel the same way about Rollins that I Do AJ. We could have had a better match with a full time worker here, but then when you on the Trips and Steph show and your facing Trips… I guess that’s as good as being in the world title match right? Right!?! Anyway Trips wins with the help of Samoa Joe (he has the meats).

You don’t mess with a man’s Fries, You don’t mess with a Man’s Yard. (Roman Reigns Vs Undertaker for… the yard I guess?) So I said that Smackdown had 4 main card matches to Raw’s 6. Then I was corrected when someone pointed out that The Undertaker was a smackdown Talent so technically that’s 4.5 to 5.5. Alright, so then… When was the last time Taker was on Smackdown? Before Survivor Series? Has this match had anything significant happen on Smack down like Roman showing up looking for Captain Black hat and Fog? No? All of the buildup for this has been on Raw? My count still stands and that just makes me Angrier about the mistreatment of Team Blue. GOD I hope this is the end of the Roman Reigns Experiment. This needs to be His coming out party as a heel. I mean he’s main evented the last 2 wrestlemanias… and there’s a very good chance that since this is a “Crossbrand” Match with Taker that in order to not “show favoritism” to either brand that this ends up being the last match of the night. If they play this like Heel reigns finally having it with the cans and having his “The Rock joins the Nation” moment this could be pretty good. If they keep on with this “He’s So Polerizing” stuff.. this could be really bad. I choose to be optimistic which means…. Roman win by cheating. Belee Dat!

Should Be the Main Event (Bray Wyatt Vs. Randell Q Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship) The World Heavyweight Championship is the only True World Championship. It has the lineage. It doesn’t look Ridiculous. Randell Q Orton won the Royal Rumble which (at least in the last two years) Mean you are the Main event (read: Last match) of WrestleMania. Odds are it won’t be and I’ll be honest.. besides the reasons stated above, I’m not sure it deserves to be. It’s been a long boil to this point with Randy joining the wyatts driving a wedge between Bray and Luke, and then Double crossing bray and performing Arson. And HE’S The good guy! I mean in the last six week things have gotten… well weird. There was the aforementioned Arson skit which Ran… like ten minutes too long with all it’s creep cuts and transition and awkward pauses. We’ve had Bray rubbing dirt and ashes all over himself. We’ve had his version of the Druid the uh… Rowans? Sheeple? I don’t know what to call them. But yeah that last week. And then Randel Q. Orton last night drive a Crusix.. or whatever they called it that was on fire into the ground where he burned Bray house down. So uh… yeah. I’m gonna ignore the obvious signs and say Bray wins this. They want him to be the New Taker he needs a big win and really He’s the Face in this match.

Will Probably Be the Main Event (Cold Beer Vs Bork Lazer for the WWE Universal Championship of the World.) Back at Survivor Series, everyone blew they lids when Cold Beer won his match in like 2 minutes. My reactions was “Because of course he did. How did I not see that coming? THAT, is the Goldberg Match.” It was a great way to build a Wrestlmania rematch AND get Bork out of his then plans to fight Shane-o-bump. It would be the match we deserved 13 years ago at Wrestlemania 20! It would heal that eyesore of a match! Then Goldberg Won the Universal Championship. Then I got REAL over this feud, REAL fast. Goldberg in his prime was not a long match kind of guy. Goldberg now has not been in the ring for more than 5 minutes of active match time. Brock’s matchs are Suxplex, suplex suplex, hope spot, suplex suplex suplex, f5. I do not have high hopes for this match. Add to the fact both these guys are part timers and are not going to be at Every Raw PPV, Ever Raw Show, and CERTIANLY not any House shows, this cheapens an already new belt with dubious credibility. It’s one of those Rare time the Belt actually takes away my interest in the match. Regardless… this can only end in Brock getting his win back and if the Plan’s are to be believed of a Roman v. Brock Main event at 34, There is a good chance he might hold that belt all year. Because you know… it did so much for the other title when Brock held, and didn’t defend it last time. Unless Finn win’s it back on Raw the night after.

And… Wow… that really got away from me. So That’s my Rant/Prediction of Wrestlemania. I know I sound like I’m pretty cynical but once I am watching it I’ll totally be into it. Because I’m a mark and I’m proud of that.

Edited: for Clarity and because of course i missed all my spelling mistakes and probably still have missed some. Oh Well.

#wow.. that was a little too exciting #RAW #Smackdown #WWE #Wrestlemania 33 #it's still real to me

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zrtranscripts · 7 years

Text

Radio Abel, Season Two

Part 5 of 6

The clips collected in this section do not have a set chronological order, but occur when certain other gameplay conditions are met.

This post contains clips related to day of the week, time of day (sometimes including morale percentage) and holidays.

Day of the week and holiday clips are self-evident. Time of day clips will begin with a brief descriptive note in italics.

EUGENE WOODS: All right folks, I'm just popping in between songs here to remind you that it's Monday, and you all know what that means. Yes, it's clean laundry day for those of you lucky enough to have won a laundry ticket in last week's ballot. So if that's you, head on down to see Rajit and pick up your nice fresh socks.

EUGENE WOODS: Oh man...

JACK HOLDEN: Don't say it.

EUGENE WOODS: You know what, Jack?

JACK HOLDEN: I'm not kidding, Gene! I'll leave!

EUGENE WOODS: No, it's just -

JACK HOLDEN: Seriously. Don't.

EUGENE WOODS: I hate Monday - !

JACK HOLDEN: La la la! No, really, every freaking week with the Garfield. Just stop, Gene!

[EUGENE WOODS laughs]

JACK HOLDEN: Ah! "Ruby Tuesday."

EUGENE WOODS: Oh, good one. Ugh, it's tough!

JACK HOLDEN: You can surrender.

EUGENE WOODS: Never! Uh, "Tuesday Afternoon."

JACK HOLDEN: Shenanigans. Who's it by?

EUGENE WOODS: Moody Blues.

JACK HOLDEN: Hmm. All right, sounds plausible. I'll let it pass.

EUGENE WOODS: Your turn.

JACK HOLDEN: "Tuesday's Gone."

EUGENE WOODS: Nice. Didn't have you pegged for a Skynyrd fan, though.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh, I went through a phase.

EUGENE WOODS: Who was he?

JACK HOLDEN: Oh, shush.

EUGENE WOODS: Here's something I bet you didn't know.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh God.

EUGENE WOODS: What?

JACK HOLDEN: You've got that voice on.

EUGENE WOODS: What voice?

JACK HOLDEN: That explainy voice you get.

EUGENE WOODS: I don't get a voice!

JACK HOLDEN: Hmm. Fine. Well, what is it?

EUGENE WOODS: I don't want to tell you now.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh no no no, go on! It'll annoy me otherwise.

EUGENE WOODS: No, I'm too worried about the voice now.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh, just tell me, for God's sake.

EUGENE WOODS: [sighs] Fine. What I was going to say was we get the word Tuesday from Tyr, the Norse god of war and law. So Tuesday's the day for lawyers and soldiers.

JACK HOLDEN: Shame we're not either, really, eh?

EUGENE WOODS: Hmm. Yeah.

JACK HOLDEN: That was actually quite interesting, though.

EUGENE WOODS: See?

EUGENE WOODS: Ugh. Hump Day, eh?

JACK HOLDEN: What?

EUGENE WOODS: You know, Wednesday, the hump of the week? Got to get over it to get to the weekend? Classic office chat from before the fall?

JACK HOLDEN: Oh, uh, I don't really know. I've never had a job as such.

EUGENE WOODS: Seriously?

JACK HOLDEN: Well, uh... never in an office.

EUGENE WOODS: Right.

JACK HOLDEN: Or well, during what you might call "working hours."

EUGENE WOODS: I don't want to know, do I?

JACK HOLDEN: I'll tell you later.

EUGENE WOODS: You know, I was born on a Wednesday.

JACK HOLDEN: Really? That's funny, actually, because I've never had a birthday on a Wednesday.

EUGENE WOODS: What?

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah. My birthday's never been on a Wednesday.

EUGENE WOODS: But that's... do you not know how a calendar works?

JACK HOLDEN: [snorts] Mister Woods, do you not know when my birthday is?

EUGENE WOODS: Oh. Well, no, not really. Uh, to be honest, after the whole apocalypse thing, it never really came up.

JACK HOLDEN: Ah ha ha! Well then, you're about to feel right stupid, boy-o. It's February 29th.

EUGENE WOODS: Oh, that's pretty cool!

JACK HOLDEN: Why, thank you.

JACK HOLDEN: Hey Gene, I keep forgetting to ask you. How was your appointment this morning?

EUGENE WOODS: My what?

JACK HOLDEN: Your appointment with Maxine?

EUGENE WOODS: Oh.

JACK HOLDEN: Seriously?

EUGENE WOODS: No, look -

JACK HOLDEN: Oh, don't give me any of that.

EUGENE WOODS: But listen, Jack, it was just -

JACK HOLDEN: No, I know what you were just -

EUGENE WOODS: It's not that important.

JACK HOLDEN: Seriously? Eugene, you lost a leg. Yes, you're doing a little better, yes, it's mostly healed, and yes, it was a little while ago, but not that long. So when Maxine says you turn up on Thursday to see her, you turn up on Thursday to see her.

EUGENE WOODS: Fine, fine! I know, I just... no, you're right.

JACK HOLDEN: Didn't I even come and annoy you about it?

EUGENE WOODS: I know! You're right. God, I hate saying that. Feels wrong.

JACK HOLDEN: I know, it's weird for me, too.

EUGENE WOODS: What are you doing?

JACK HOLDEN: Nothing, just checking to make sure the earth is still rotating around the sun.

EUGENE WOODS: [laughs] God, you're such a dork! Get back here and play some music, would you?

EUGENE WOODS: You know what, Jack, I've been thinking.

JACK HOLDEN: Ooh, careful now.

EUGENE WOODS: Idiot. I was thinking about how less than a year ago, I dreaded Thursdays.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh yeah?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah. It was my print deadline for the weekend magazine at the paper, which meant I was usually desperately trying to finish rewriting some review or source some picture for an article, or convince my sub-editor not to replace my carefully-crafted headline with a crappy pun on the word flambé.

JACK HOLDEN: Sounds tough.

EUGENE WOODS: It was stressful, I guess, but yeah. I'd end up working late, not getting out of the office until 10 or 11, then get up on Friday and start working on the next week's magazine. At the time, I hated it.

JACK HOLDEN: And here it comes.

EUGENE WOODS: Here comes what?

JACK HOLDEN: Here comes the wistful, "What I wouldn't do to be back there right now, sub-editing an article at the last minute while my face fell off from tiredness."

EUGENE WOODS: Oh? Well, yeah. What's your point?

JACK HOLDEN: It's post-apocalypse nostalgia! Gene, everyone's got it. "If I could just go back to that time, I'd never complain about taxes or traffic jams or anything."

EUGENE WOODS: So? It's true.

JACK HOLDEN: It's total crap! People always complain. There's always someone worse off than you, but that doesn't stop stuff annoying you. Back then it was work and X Factor and the government.

Now, it's no showers and sleepless nights and the possibility of being slaughtered by the living dead. But it's all just the... I don't know, the high cost of living, I guess. No matter how good they've got it, every complains, all the time. Get over it!

EUGENE WOODS: Hmm.

JACK HOLDEN: What?

EUGENE WOODS: You are so full of it.

JACK HOLDEN: Hey Eugene?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah?

JACK HOLDEN: Remember when you were a kid, right?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah.

JACK HOLDEN: And like, you were at school.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah.

JACK HOLDEN: And on Friday you'd get all excited in the last couple of hours of the day, and just sit there staring out of the window, waiting to get home for the weekend?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah.

JACK HOLDEN: That was great, wasn't it?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah.

EUGENE WOODS: Hey Jack?

JACK HOLDEN: What?

EUGENE WOODS: You know, I've been thinking.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh yeah? What is it now?

EUGENE WOODS: Well, I've come to the conclusion that I don't care if Monday's blue.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh! Or like, if Tuesday's gray.

EUGENE WOODS: And Wednesday, too.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah. And Thursday, I don't care about you.

EUGENE WOODS: It's Friday.

JACK HOLDEN: Friday?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah. It's Friday, and I'm in love.

[JACK HOLDEN and EUGENE WOODS laugh]

EUGENE WOODS: Oh man, I'm so glad it's the weekend.

JACK HOLDEN: Tell me about it. No work to go to.

EUGENE WOODS: No commute.

JACK HOLDEN: No colleagues sniping behind your back.

EUGENE WOODS: No deadlines, no quotas.

JACK HOLDEN: Just a long lie-in and a day spent watching cartoons in your underwear.

EUGENE WOODS: [sighs] Ah, bliss.

[JACK HOLDEN sighs]

EUGENE WOODS: I feel like we're forgetting something.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh God. It's not Monday, is it? Have we done that thing where you think it's Saturday but it's actually Monday?

EUGENE WOODS: Um, no, wait. Let me just check something... holy God, what happened to my leg?

JACK HOLDEN: Oh my God, your leg's off!

EUGENE WOODS: What the heck is going on? Oh, wait. I remember.

JACK HOLDEN: What? What is it?

EUGENE WOODS: That apocalypse thing.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh.

EUGENE WOODS: [snaps fingers] That's what we were forgetting.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh yeah!

EUGENE WOODS: So that's what it was.

JACK HOLDEN: But does this mean we don't get a lie-in?

EUGENE WOODS: Afraid not.

JACK HOLDEN: Bummer.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah. This sucks.

EUGENE WOODS: I want a roast.

JACK HOLDEN: No. No, you can't say that!

EUGENE WOODS: Well, I just did.

JACK HOLDEN: Putting the idea of a roast into an innocent man's head. I was quite happy of the idea of a Sunday meat slop. Now you've put thoughts of gravy into my head.

EUGENE WOODS: Yorkshire pudding...

JACK HOLDEN: Stop it!

EUGENE WOODS: Crispy skin of a roast chicken...

JACK HOLDEN: That's enough, now!

EUGENE WOODS: Brussels sprouts...

JACK HOLDEN: [laughs] Yeah, that's not going to work.

EUGENE WOODS: Roast potatoes...

JACK HOLDEN: Too far! Too far, Gene! I'm off.

EUGENE WOODS: Jack!

JACK HOLDEN: No, that is not cool. You know how I loved roast dinners, and you had to push it, didn't you?

EUGENE WOODS: Mint sauce.

JACK HOLDEN: That is not funny! I've had it up to – you can just – ugh!

EUGENE WOODS: Are you going to pretend to storm off? Will that make you feel better?

JACK HOLDEN: Yes. [opens door]

EUGENE WOODS: Well, will you get me water while you're out?

JACK HOLDEN: Sure. [shuts door]

EUGENE WOODS: He'll be back.

(the next three clips take place before 9:00 a.m.)

EUGENE WOODS: [yawns] Okay, right. Here we go.

JACK HOLDEN: [yawn] Damn, that is contagious.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, wow. Okay. Good morning, everyone. If you're just joining us, we're... we're with you a bit earlier than usual today.

JACK HOLDEN: Just a bit.

EUGENE WOODS: Well, quite a bit actually, if we're honest.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah. You know us media types: in bed until noon, out in the clubs networking until three.

EUGENE WOODS: Well, not today.

JACK HOLDEN: Nope!

EUGENE WOODS: Today we're here early with you after a long sleepless night.

JACK HOLDEN: Not a wink between us.

EUGENE WOODS: Nope. You see, it seems one of the kids next door has entered their screaming night terrors phase.

JACK HOLDEN: Which is understandable, given the circumstances.

EUGENE WOODS: Of course. Wailing child, we do not blame you.

JACK HOLDEN: Not at all. But we do wish you a swift return to peaceful sleep.

EUGENE WOODS: Mainly because we'd like some of that ourselves.

JACK HOLDEN: Absolutely. [yawns] I'm exhausted.

EUGENE WOODS: [yawns] You and me both. Right. Let's kick off the day with a song, shall we?

JACK HOLDEN: Great plan. Here you go, guys. A little something to wake you up.

EUGENE WOODS: Oh, it is too early. Too, too early. Jack? Jack, it is just too early to be here.

JACK HOLDEN: Well, it's hardly my fault we had to be up for that fire drill.

EUGENE WOODS: No, I know, I know.

JACK HOLDEN: I mean, what was Janine thinking?

EUGENE WOODS: I know!

JACK HOLDEN: Probably something about efficiency.

EUGENE WOODS: Preparedness.

JACK HOLDEN: Pushing the population of the township to fatigue-induced psychosis.

EUGENE WOODS: [laughs] That does sound like Janine.

JACK HOLDEN: [sighs] The worst bit is she's probably bloody right.

EUGENE WOODS: Almost certainly. Janine, we hope you're listening. We hate you for killing our sleep cycle, but we love you for keeping us safe.

JACK HOLDEN: Maybe just let us sleep in a bit more next time though, eh?

EUGENE WOODS: That'd be nice. We'll be back after this.

EUGENE WOODS: Okay, everyone. It's far too early for us to be witty.

JACK HOLDEN: Uh, speak for yourself.

EUGENE WOODS: All right, go ahead then. Dazzle us with your wit.

JACK HOLDEN: Um... [imitates cowboy voice] Howdy, partners! My momma always said, uh – [laughs] you gotta rise early to –

[BOTH laugh]

JACK HOLDEN: Okay, point taken.

EUGENE WOODS: What was that?

JACK HOLDEN: [laughs] Oh, shut up.

(the following clip takes place before 9:00 a.m., if morale is greater than 75%)

JACK HOLDEN: All right! Uh, good morning, everyone. We're with you bright and early today, catching the worm, rising with the flock, making hay while the sun shines, gathering rosebuds... [laughs] Well, basically, getting out of bed at an appalling time because Eugene wanted to watch the sunrise.

EUGENE WOODS: Well, Jack, you know what they say: life moves pretty fast if you don't stop to look around once in a while. You could miss it.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh God, you're not going to start singing "Danke Schoen" again, are you?

EUGENE WOODS: [sings] I recall Central Park in fall...

JACK HOLDEN: La la la la la! Nope nope, no no, just stop! Stop. It is too early for this.

EUGENE WOODS: [laughs] Fine, fine, fine. I get the message. You're tone-deaf, and you have no appreciation of the wonderful things in front of you, like this sunrise, which I am going to go and enjoy outside.

JACK HOLDEN: Go right ahead, Bueller. I'll be here, you know, doing our job.

EUGENE WOODS: Hey Cameron, do you realize if we played by the rules right now, we'd be in gym?

JACK HOLDEN: [laughs] Get out of here. I've got a song to play.

(the following clip takes place before 9:00 a.m., if morale is less than 30%)

EUGENE WOODS: Ugh.

JACK HOLDEN: Bleurgh.

EUGENE WOODS: Ugh.

JACK HOLDEN: Ugh!

EUGENE WOODS: Why can't there be coffee, Jack?

JACK HOLDEN: I hate this.

EUGENE WOODS: Ugh.

(the next three clips take place between 9:00 a.m. And 12:00 p.m.)

JACK HOLDEN: Ah! Good morning, good morning, good morning!

EUGENE WOODS: Good morning, everyone. You know, Jack, this time of day always reminds me of cereal commercials.

JACK HOLDEN: Well, that's a pretty weird start to a conversation, Gene.

EUGENE WOODS: I don't know, [laughs] it's just on my mind, I suppose. What was your favorite cereal commercial when you were growing up?

JACK HOLDEN: What... what was my favorite cereal commercial growing up?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah!

JACK HOLDEN: Oh, well uh, that's such a tough question. There are so many. Cocoa Puffs, Rice Krispies, Cheerios of course, and then there's Frosties. Man, I'm going to have to think about this for days, come up with a shortlist and get back to you.

EUGENE WOODS: All right, all right. So no major preference.

JACK HOLDEN: It's a tricky question, is all.

EUGENE WOODS: No, fine, you're indecisive. We know this. Listeners, I'm sure you're desperate to know what mine is.

JACK HOLDEN: Drum roll, please.

EUGENE WOODS: Lucky Charms!

JACK HOLDEN: Was that the vampire one?

EUGENE WOODS: No, the leprechaun. You didn't have them over here?

JACK HOLDEN: [snorts] No. A leprechaun? Seriously? Amazing.

EUGENE WOODS: It was cool.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, for a given value of cool.

EUGENE WOODS: Oh, shush. Listeners, why don't you drop us a line and let us know your favorite. And in the meantime, do we have a song?

JACK HOLDEN: Yep.

EUGENE WOODS: In the meantime, here's a song.

EUGENE WOODS: Good morning, Abel Township!

JACK HOLDEN: And environs.

EUGENE WOODS: Good morning, Abel Township and environs! And let me tell you something, it's a fine, it's a lovely, it's another great morning here at the end of ci-vi-li-zation!

JACK HOLDEN: Well, someone's perky, today?

EUGENE WOODS: Not a fan of the impression?

JACK HOLDEN: No no no, I love it! It's just, not sure how you've got the energy for it.

EUGENE WOODS: Oh well. You know me, Jack. I've always been a morning person.

JACK HOLDEN: [laughs] Oh yeah?

EUGENE WOODS: Oh yeah! You know, back home there was nothing I liked more than getting up early and going for a walk around the park...

JACK HOLDEN: Hunting a few bears, cutting down a few trees...

EUGENE WOODS: Grabbing a cup of coffee...

JACK HOLDEN: Going dog sled racing...

EUGENE WOODS: And then heading to work feeling properly ready to start the day.

JACK HOLDEN: Hmm.

EUGENE WOODS: What?

JACK HOLDEN: We really are two alien species to one another, aren't we?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah. I have no idea how this works at all.

JACK HOLDEN: Me either. Uh, let's try to figure it out in a break. Music?

EUGENE WOODS: Music.

JACK HOLDEN: Back at you soon, guys.

JACK HOLDEN: All right, Abel Township, rise and shime!

EUGENE WOODS: Rise and shime?

JACK HOLDEN: Rine and shise... [laughs]

EUGENE WOODS: What? Rhyme and - ? [laughs]

JACK HOLDEN: Rime and shie! [laughs] God!

EUGENE WOODS: [laughs] Don't! I can't!

JACK HOLDEN: Rite and shine, Abel! Rite and shine! [laughs] That'll have to do.

(the following clip takes place between 9:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m., if morale is greater than 75%)

EUGENE WOODS: Ah, good morning, Radio Abel.

JACK HOLDEN: Good morning, listeners. We hope you're well-rested and ready for another day.

EUGENE WOODS: Absolutely. And well, I don't know if you can hear it -

JACK HOLDEN: Hear what?

EUGENE WOODS: Listen.

JACK HOLDEN: Nope. Are the voices talking to you again?

EUGENE WOODS: Yes. They're telling me to punch you repeatedly until you're quiet.

JACK HOLDEN: Ooh, creepy. Oh, you weren't kidding? Okay, okay, I give up. Sorry, what is it we're listening for?

EUGENE WOODS: Nothing. Just the sound of kids on their way to the quad for school. The sound of food growing on the farm. The sound, Jack, of peace.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh. Yeah, that is nice.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah. Yeah, it is.

(the following clip takes place between 9:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m., if morale is less than 30%)

EUGENE WOODS: Good morning, Radio Abel listeners.

JACK HOLDEN: It's not morning. Good afternoon, Radio Abel listeners.

EUGENE WOODS: Jack, it's definitely morning.

JACK HOLDEN: It's clearly afternoon. Look at where the sun is.

EUGENE WOODS: Yes, it's rising up to the highest point in the sky, a.k.a. morning.

JACK HOLDEN: No, it's lowering down, a.k.a. afternoon. Look, that's east over there.

EUGENE WOODS: Dear God, that is west, you idiot!

JACK HOLDEN: Don't call me - ! Look, that's clearly east, because New Canton's over that -

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah?

JACK HOLDEN: Oh.

EUGENE WOODS: Right.

JACK HOLDEN: Hm.

EUGENE WOODS: So, good morning, Radio Abel listeners.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh, shut up.

(the next three clips take place between 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.)

[EUGENE WOODS sighs]

JACK HOLDEN: Whoa there, Mister Wistful. What's going on in there?

EUGENE WOODS: Hmm? Oh, nothing.

JACK HOLDEN: No, now, come on. We talked about this. Your "strong and silent" act may be very appealing, but it's not necessarily the most healthy thing in the world, Mister Woods.

EUGENE WOODS: All right, all right. [laughs] I was just thinking about how much I miss having a porch.

JACK HOLDEN: A porch?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah! You know. This time of day, a lovely quality to the dusk, sitting out on the porch with a nice four pack from the local microbrewery and some fresh homemade eggplant chips, just soaking it in. But I guess that's all gone now.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Does sound nice. But...

EUGENE WOODS: But what?

JACK HOLDEN: Microbrew? [laughs] Homemade eggplant chips? Eugene, dear, your food critic is showing.

EUGENE WOODS: As is your smart-ass. Now shut up, play some music, and let me enjoy the memory.

JACK HOLDEN: Aye aye, Cap'n.

JACK HOLDEN: You know, that song really reminds me of something.

EUGENE WOODS: Really? Do tell.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, yeah, that song and this time of day, it makes me remember that we used to have daylight savings time. Like, we used to change what the time was. The time used to change! And now it doesn't.

EUGENE WOODS: Well, quite apart from the major question of how the heck that song reminded you of daylight savings time, I don't think you understand what time is, or how it works.

JACK HOLDEN: Hey! I do. I, well... well, I think I do.

EUGENE WOODS: Right. Well then, you obviously know that the way we measure time is just a system that we invented, right? There isn't some objective thing that makes it five p.m., that's just what we call it.

JACK HOLDEN: Right. Yeah, yeah, of course. So changing the clocks -

EUGENE WOODS: Come on.

JACK HOLDEN: Changing the clocks just changes what we called it.

EUGENE WOODS: Yup. Bang on.

JACK HOLDEN: Huh. Physics always confused me.

EUGENE WOODS: This isn't – oh. Sure, whatever. Just play the song, would you?

[JACK HOLDEN shudders]

EUGENE WOODS: What's wrong?

JACK HOLDEN: No, I just... do you remember when you were a kid -

EUGENE WOODS: Vaguely, yes -

JACK HOLDEN: - right, right, and when you were a kid, and it got all dark outside but the curtains were still open, and the worst thing you could possibly imagine was that there would suddenly be like, a really creepy face outside the window, staring back in at you?

EUGENE WOODS: [shudders] Yeah.

JACK HOLDEN: Eugene?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah?

JACK HOLDEN: We don't have any curtains.

EUGENE WOODS: Ugh, shut up!

JACK HOLDEN: I'm scared!

EUGENE WOODS: It's fine! ... I'm sure it's fine.

(the following clip occurs between 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m., if morale is greater than 75%)

EUGENE WOODS: All right, guys, I'm afraid we're getting towards the end of our day's live programming.

JACK HOLDEN: Wow, is that the time? Oh, come on, we don't want to be late!

EUGENE WOODS: Don't worry, we've got plenty of time. We don't need to sign off just yet.

JACK HOLDEN: Aww, but I want it to start now.

EUGENE WOODS: I know, but you'll just have to be patient. The thing Jack's talking about, everybody, is the fact that tonight, Janine is hosting a little soirée at her house.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, and we're going to miss the best bits if we don't get there on time.

EUGENE WOODS: Jack, we have plenty of time. Come on, do your job.

JACK HOLDEN: Ugh, all right!

EUGENE WOODS: Anyway, things have been pretty good around here lately. Everyone's feeling pretty safe, pretty secure, so Janine's having a little party to celebrate that fact.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah! The runners have managed to find some old bottles of wine.

EUGENE WOODS: I heard there'll be rum, too.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh God, keep that away from me.

EUGENE WOODS: No rum?

JACK HOLDEN: Never again. My friend Nick from uni once got me so drunk on rum that I threw up on the night bus. [laughs] It was not a pleasant experience.

EUGENE WOODS: All right, no rum for you, then. And no buses.

JACK HOLDEN: Good idea.

EUGENE WOODS: So there'll be wine -

JACK HOLDEN: Yep, wine, and music, and Janine's going to wear a dress!

EUGENE WOODS: Now that, I can't wait to see.

JACK HOLDEN: I know, right? I'm so excited!

EUGENE WOODS: How about another song to get us in the mood, then?

JACK HOLDEN: Ooh, ooh yeah, I've got just the thing.

EUGENE WOODS: Enjoy!

(the following clip takes place between 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m., if morale is less than 30%)

EUGENE WOODS: And we're back. Hope you guys enjoyed that.

JACK HOLDEN: Mm.

EUGENE WOODS: At least, I hope you enjoyed it more than Jack.

JACK HOLDEN: So, more than zero enjoyment, then.

EUGENE WOODS: Well, hopefully. What's wrong with you?

JACK HOLDEN: I'm just... [sighs] I don't know if I can keep doing this.

EUGENE WOODS: What? What do you mean?

JACK HOLDEN: This, all... this. All this bloody darkness, and monsters, and struggling to get by is just – [teary voice] I can't. Gene, I can't do it anymore!

EUGENE WOODS: Jack -

JACK HOLDEN: No, I just -

EUGENE WOODS: Jack, look to me. I know this is hard. No one finds this easy. But that doesn't mean we can give up! Yes, it's dark. Yes, there are monsters out there, and yes, life sucks sometimes. But we're still here to know it sucks, and that has to count for something, right? We're still here, together, and it's going to get light again.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, okay. Yeah.

EUGENE WOODS: Okay?

JACK HOLDEN: Okay.

EUGENE WOODS: Put a song on. We'll get some fresh air, eh?

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, okay.

(the next three clips take place after 10:00 p.m.)

EUGENE WOODS: Hey Jack?

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah?

EUGENE WOODS: Got a question.

JACK HOLDEN: Okay, shoot.

EUGENE WOODS: Right. So before all this, were you a morning person or a night person?

JACK HOLDEN: Hmm... well, when I was at uni -

EUGENE WOODS: College.

JACK HOLDEN: Thanks for the clarification.

EUGENE WOODS: No problem.

JACK HOLDEN: Out of curiosity, just how many North American listeners do you think we have?

EUGENE WOODS: I don't know. There's me -

JACK HOLDEN: You're a host, not a listener.

EUGENE WOODS: Doctor Myers!

JACK HOLDEN: Okay, so one.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, well okay, it's just a force of habit, isn't it?

JACK HOLDEN: That's your excuse for everything, Mister Still Pulls the Flusher on the Toilet.

EUGENE WOODS: All right, all right. Skip to the end.

JACK HOLDEN: As I was saying, at uni, I never started classes before about two.

EUGENE WOODS: Oh, the brutal life of an art history student.

JACK HOLDEN: Hey, it's a vital and challenging sub- no, no you're right, I mainly took it for the social scene.

EUGENE WOODS: Which was - ?

JACK HOLDEN: Phenomenal, and boozy, and full of very attractive folk.

EUGENE WOODS: Sounds like heaven.

JACK HOLDEN: It was. Well, for me. Not for my overdraft, or my sleep schedule.

EUGENE WOODS: So definitely a night person, then?

JACK HOLDEN: Yup!

EUGENE WOODS: I thought you were a bit more lively at the moment.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, I always perk up around this time of... day? Night. Night.

EUGENE WOODS: Lord, if this is you on the ball, then – [JACK HOLDEN slaps EUGENE WOODS] Ow!

JACK HOLDEN: Time for some music.

EUGENE WOODS: Well hello there, all you night owls and moonlight dreamers. You're here with us for the graveyard shift on Radio Abel.

JACK HOLDEN: That's right. You better take your hand off that dial and lean back in your chair now, friends, because we'll be taking good care you all night long.

EUGENE WOODS: I hear that, I hear that. We'll have the best in smooth tunes and smoother talk from now until the sun comes up, so stay right here with Papa Eugene, and -

JACK HOLDEN: Texas Holden. [snorts]

EUGENE WOODS: Texas...

JACK HOLDEN: Texas Holden. [laughs]

EUGENE WOODS: [laughs] Oh God!

JACK HOLDEN: [laughs] Papa Eugene!

EUGENE WOODS: Don't! [laughs] Don't!

JACK HOLDEN: Oh... oh God...

JACK HOLDEN: Wow! The stars are bright tonight.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, they're really clear, huh?

JACK HOLDEN: [laughs] That's one of the benefits of losing all the cities, I suppose.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, no light polution. Listeners, if you're able, uh -

JACK HOLDEN: Ba-boom.

EUGENE WOODS: [laughs] Indeed. By which I mean, if you have the ability to see the stars tonight, go and take a look. This is really beautiful.

JACK HOLDEN: Do you know what any of them are?

EUGENE WOODS: Oh. Yeah, for sure. My dad taught me. Uh, let's see... uh, okay, there's Callisto.

JACK HOLDEN: Where?

EUGENE WOODS: Look, just... no, over there to the left. You see that?

JACK HOLDEN: Uh - ? Oh, the Big Dipper.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, that's her. Listeners, you're looking for a big U shape in the sky with three others coming off it in a crooked line to the left.

JACK HOLDEN: And that's Callisto?

EUGENE WOODS: Mmhmm.

JACK HOLDEN: She's beautiful.

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah. Yeah, she is.

(the following clip takes place after 10:00 p.m., if morale is greater than 75%)

[door opens, two people shush each other]

SAM YAO: No no no no, it's fine! Look, we're in!

MAXINE MYERS: No, but shhh, what if we get caught? They'll be back soon!

SAM YAO: Pffft, we're not going to get caught. We are stealthy. Like... ninjas.

MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, like... drunk ninjas!

SAM YAO: [gasps] Are you drunk?

MAXINE MYERS: I am so drunk!

SAM YAO: Because like, you hadn't mentioned that 10 or 11 times in the past hour, so I wasn't sure.

MAXINE MYERS: Oh Sam, you are mean. I don't know why I'm friends with you.

SAM YAO: Because you're drunk. Now come on, come on, let's do this.

MAXINE MYERS: Oh, I'm just going to sit here, just for a little minute.

SAM YAO: Okay. Hang on, wait, wait a minute. Oh! The mic's still on.

MAXINE MYERS: Ah! Janine will not be happy about time wasting her batteries.

SAM YAO: Never mind about all that. Come on. [clears throat] Hello, Radio Abel listeners! [laughs]

MAXINE MYERS: [laughs] Hello, listeners, and welcome to Radio Abel!

SAM YAO: [laughs] What is that? Oh. [imitates EUGENE WOODS] I am Eugene Woods, and this is my partner -

MAXINE MYERS: What? Oh, yeah. [laughs] Uh, I am Jack Holden. Hello, listeners. We're here tonight to talk to you about -

[door opens]

JACK HOLDEN: Oi! Get away from that mic, you!

[MAXINE MYERS laughs]

SAM YAO: [laughs] We have to go, listeners. Stay tuned - [laughs]

JACK HOLDEN: What are you even – come on! Shift!

SAM YAO: Stay safe out there!

MAXINE MYERS: I'm going to wet myself! [laughs]

(this clip takes place after 10:00 p.m., if morale is less than 30%)

EUGENE WOODS: Okay, welcome back. Uh, I know it's late. I know it's dark, so I hope you're safe, if you're listening.

JACK HOLDEN: Yeah, guys. We know it's tough out there right now. Things – well, look, just... let's try to hold it together, okay? ... Gene? What is it?

EUGENE WOODS: Shh!

JACK HOLDEN: What? Again?

EUGENE WOODS: Shh, just - ! No, clear.

JACK HOLDEN: Oh God. Okay. Oh, it's... I thought we were done with this. All this... all this jumping at shadows. I thought we left that behind on the road!

EUGENE WOODS: No, I don't think that'll be behind us for a long time.

JACK HOLDEN: No. No, I suppose not.

EUGENE WOODS: Okay, everyone. Listen uh, we're here with you all night. We're just not going anywhere, so you don't leave us either! You just stay safe. Stay positive.

JACK HOLDEN: Stay safe.

JACK HOLDEN: Now, obviously there are some children out there that know it's Halloween tonight.

EUGENE WOODS: A holiday we keep celebrating.

JACK HOLDEN: Because it's brilliant.

EUGENE WOODS:I just don't know if that's true anymore. Anyway, Major De Santa has requested that – and this should be obvious, but - nobody is to dress up as a zombie. Just to repeat that: nobody is to dress up as a zombie.

JACK HOLDEN: If you do dress up as a zombie, you may well be shot.

EUGENE WOODS: Which would probably put a damper on your trick-or-treating.

JACK HOLDEN: Stay safe, guys.

EUGENE WOODS: So, I don't think any of us were expecting this.

JACK HOLDEN: I didn't even know it was a thing.

EUGENE WOODS: Today is the Mexican festival, the Day of the Dead, and the zoms are...

JACK HOLDEN: Well, they seem to have a slight heightened awareness.

EUGENE WOODS: No, no. This is a joke. Someone's trying to wind us up!

JACK HOLDEN: Well, it's true. Major De Santa told me personally. And when have you ever seen her joke?

EUGENE WOODS: Okay, fine. [paper rustles] So apparently, they've been seen opening doors, sitting, and... you read this out.

JACK HOLDEN: No, I'm not going to read it. You read it.

EUGENE WOODS: I'm going to sound like an idiot!

JACK HOLDEN: Look. Before, people who believed in zombie apocalypses are idiots, and now look. Who knows what the zombies can do, and what obscure Mexican festival they're connected to?

EUGENE WOODS: It's actually not that obscure. It's a pretty big thing.

JACK HOLDEN: Was a pretty big thing.

EUGENE WOODS: Okay. [sighs] One of the zombies has been caught having a cup of tea.

JACK HOLDEN: With a -

EUGENE WOODS: With a saucer. So we're not sure what the zoms are capable of today, so stay safe, guys.

[JACK HOLDEN snorts]

EUGENE WOODS: You made this up, didn't you?

JACK HOLDEN: A little! Imagine – with a saucer. [laughs]

EUGENE WOODS: You said De Santa -

JACK HOLDEN: Right. This is me fishing – [imitates fishing pole sound] and here's me reeling you in, hook, line, and sinker. [laughs]

EUGENE WOODS: Great. But of course, no one fishes anymore. Pike are the only animal that our zombie disease transferred to. Now there's loads of zombie fish, all sorts.

JACK HOLDEN: Ugh! No way. Hang on, didn't we have fish the other day?

EUGENE WOODS: Yeah, from a lake. Lakes are like, well... lakes are like some of those Caribbean islands for humans. No way for them to get infected.

JACK HOLDEN: Didn't we wade through a river? Well, that's... that's creepy. Zombie fish? Ugh!

EUGENE WOODS: [laughs] I didn't even have to try hard.

JACK HOLDEN: What? Oh! Oh, ha ha.

EUGENE WOODS: This next track's for all our zombie fish listeners, or any zoms just sitting down to their afternoon tea.

JACK HOLDEN: Songs with Christmas in the title... go!

EUGENE WOODS: "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas."

JACK HOLDEN: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

EUGENE WOODS: "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

JACK HOLDEN: "Last Christmas."

EUGENE WOODS: Uh... "All I Want For Christmas Is You!"

JACK HOLDEN: "Lonely This Christmas."

EUGENE WOODS: Oh no, hang on...

JACK HOLDEN: "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day." "Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End." "Wombling Merry Christmas."

EUGENE WOODS: Now you're making these up!

JACK HOLDEN: "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree." "Mister Hanky, the Christmas Poo," "Christmas Alphabet," "The Gift of Christmas"...

EUGENE WOODS: Hang on.

JACK HOLDEN: What?

EUGENE WOODS: Show me.

JACK HOLDEN: No, show you what?

EUGENE WOODS: You've got them written on your hand! Did you just Rofflenet these? The only person you're cheating, mister, is yourself.

JACK HOLDEN: "Father Christmas, Do Not Touch Me." [snorts]

EUGENE WOODS: No, that's not real.

JACK HOLDEN: It's by The Goodies. [laughs] Shall we do presents live on air tomorrow?

EUGENE WOODS: Oh! Uh, yeah, awesome.

JACK HOLDEN: I love Christmas!

EUGENE WOODS: All right, all right.

JACK HOLDEN: Open it. Ladies and gentlemen and runners, it is Christmas Day, and we thought we'd open our presents live on air.

EUGENE WOODS: Well, you thought.

JACK HOLDEN: Have you not opened it yet?

[wrapping paper rustles]

EUGENE WOODS: Thanks, Jack!

JACK HOLDEN: It's a Fawlty Towers DVD! I got him a Fawlty Towers DVD.

EUGENE WOODS: Thank you so much, Jack. Where'd you get it?

JACK HOLDEN: You see, when Eugene was sent to the UK, one of the sub-eds gave him a whole load of British comedy DVDs to watch on those lonely hotel nights, and his favorite was -

EUGENE WOODS: Fawlty Towers! Thanks, that's really great.

JACK HOLDEN: So, what did you get me?

EUGENE WOODS: Uh, let's not do this now, let's do it during a track.

JACK HOLDEN: No, come on. On-air is more fun.

EUGENE WOODS: Right.

JACK HOLDEN: Ooh, it's heavy. Quite heavy. Oh, I'm just going to do it. [wrapping paper rustles] It's a brick. In a sock.

EUGENE WOODS: For the zombies, if they get close. You swing it!

JACK HOLDEN: A brick.

EUGENE WOODS: In a sock!

JACK HOLDEN: Thanks.

EUGENE WOODS: I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were doing presents until yesterday. You know, with the apocalypse...

JACK HOLDEN: Just play a track.

JACK HOLDEN: So we're not -

EUGENE WOODS: We're just going to -

JACK HOLDEN: - play some tracks today, let you enjoy some quality tunes.

EUGENE WOODS: The problem with New Year's Eve in the apocalypse is that everyone's aware that it could be their last New Year's Eve.

JACK HOLDEN: Play the track.

EUGENE WOODS: Ugh.

#zombies run #zrs2 #s2 radio #s2 radio part 5 #zr transcript

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