A Former Funky Bitch Guide for Remaining Fresh
As I do my scrolling, I have seen (and liked) many posts that go in depth about a hygiene routine however they’re all very…minimal. Unrealistic for most, dare I say. I only say that because though they may be useful for the ideal woman, a large percentage of women are beyond a standard hygiene routine and need something a bit more thorough. Myself being one of them.
Many women sweat fast which produce body odor rapidly. As our menstrual cycle approaches, body odor may become more pungent. Pregnancy may also produce pungent body odor temporarily and sometimes permanently. Remember, many women are still dependents (minors or college students) who are unable to change their diet yet your diet is an important factor towards production of your body odor.
This post is for my young ladies who may lack the privilege of having (parental) guidance for hygiene. Many of us like to downplay it as common sense, however I’ve personally experienced, witnessed with friends and worked with teens in poverty ridden neighborhoods who lack the knowledge of what many consider the basics of hygiene. In fact, many mothers are so envious of their daughters they sabotage them in that matter. This is real life.
This post also heals my inner teen because I was that teenager. Depression played a part. Parental negligence played a part. Lack of authority played a part.
Enough chit chat, here’s bullet points that you can screenshot and save for quick access in order to improve your hygiene to feel and smell as feminine as you are. This is a safe space:
African black soap has played a crucial part in stripping all of my body buildup unlike many body wash/bars of soap. It can irritate you, so I suggest purchasing diluted versions if you know you have sensitive skin. Otherwise, many beauty supply stores or African salon/shops sell African Black Soap.
Detoxing my underarms weekly with Aztec Clay, along with the t-zone (nose and center of forehead) of my face to minimize oil production on my face.
Cornstarch as a base before spraying deodorant to slow down the sweat. I use two drops of almond oil and lather my underarms up, apply the cornstarch (with a makeup puff? I forgot what they’re called lol yikes but wedge sponges work too) and seal it with my deodorant. You may want to put your shirt on first. This technique is similar to placing setting powder after your primer to keep your makeup from becoming dewy.
Wash bra and panties in the shower with me at night and when the AM hits I place them in the laundry. Sometimes the shirt I’ve worn if I need to.
Spray perfume on the arms of your shirt (CAUTION: If you have skin easily irritated, you may not find this tip useful.) Do not spray directly onto skin and instead spray within the underarms area of your shirt. Useful if you lift your arms often and are insecure about blowing a whiff regardless of if you have sufficient hygiene or not.
Keep wipes and dog poop bags in your purse: ladies let’s leave behind using solely tissue to freshen up after going to the bathroom. I’ve learned that many bathrooms don’t have garbage bins within the stalls or they’re only attached to the paper towel dispenser, so having dog poop bags that I can place my used wipes in has came in clutch.
Perfume/ Essential oil on dryer sheets in dresser or closet (CAUTION: FIRE HAZARD do NOT place dryer sheet with perfume or essential oils in the dryer. Can cause a fire especially with the old ass dryers y’all got). Also try this same trick if you bring a change of clothes to work/school to enhance the freshness.
A ziplock bag with a rag: If you work at a job that keeps you active and you cannot control your body’s reaction or you simply want to freshen up on your half hour break, this is a quick way to wipe away the sweat + natural buildup and remain smelling fresh. I’ve personally done this; it’s similar to a hoe bath.
You go to the bathroom, get you some hot water, you’ve already put African Black soap on your rag so it lathers up on contact, wash your arms/under boobs/intimate areas if you’re freshen up during your period (don’t use soap let alone the African one! You’re going to be burning jalapeño spicy), pat your clean area dry with a towel and proceed with your routine that may include cornstarch, deodorant and spraying body mist across your body. Ready to roll?
If your quick to sweat from your forehead, keep a scarf that you can use as a bandana/headband. I highly suggest these specific types below because you can easily manipulate it based on your outfit at the moment in need. I’ve worked at fast food, I’ve had to carry groceries, I’ve had to fight and sometimes the LAST thing you need is sweat getting in your eye (especially if you’re a fellow black girl. An edge control and sweat combo in the eye is not fun)
Activated charcoal in two ways: as an absorbant pad that can be placed as a sticker inside your clothing to avoid sweat stains or as a bath soak since charcoal contributes to expelling unwanted bacteria from your body which can be a factor behind your body odor.
I use these tips for my advantage and convenience. When I am going to an event that I know I will be photographed, I make sure I keep those underarm pads on me literally. I change my clothes at the gym often so I place perfumed dryer sheets inside a ziplock bag with my clothes so my perfume is not overwhelming but enhanced. My anxiety I’m not a fan on period cups when I’m out and about and cannot afford an accident, so I absolutely keep baby wipes and poop bags in my purse to dispose of my waste quickly and freshen up as I need to. It set me back $4 at Family Dollar…
Anyone and everyone should try these to make their lives easier. I hope this post was able to come across someone who needed this guidance because Lord knows I did at some point. Cheers to growth! 🕯🧿