#between work giving me more shit to do
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((Should I be moving Asks over to their own threads rather than reblogging them and having issues trimming them later in xkit? Yeah probably.
Have I had the patience for that lately? Nnnnnnnnnnnnope~))
#ooc#between work giving me more shit to do#preparing to move temporarily to a different continent#working on a dnd project#working on a multimuse#and general house upkeep and meat sack maintainence#ive not had much patience for making things look nice on my blog
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why is it always the forbidden fruit that entices me the most (´ . .̫ . `)
#🚶🏾♀️ not that it impacts the way i feel about anyone else but i actually do fr love my manager and it's crazy bc idk how or when this#happened. like i have fun by myself n i love my friends but i rly am at my happiest when I'm next to her huh (´ . .̫ . `) ♡#and that is a wild way to feel about someone i work with let alone who supervises me akdkaka#i still can't believe how naturally and affirmingly “i love you” jumped out of me the other day without thinking about it#and i do??¿ after thinking about it??¿ i would literally do anything for you#and she said she loves me too 😵💫 and we've never articulated that before. and now our talks feel more personal than before but it#was a much bigger conversation for sure (´ . .̫ . `) she's out of work this week though and I'm thinking about her.#🚶🏾♀️i wanna show her my knife throwing but idkk...... struggling w where the line between professional and personal needs to be 💀#i treat my work friends and my real friends very differently lol. i don't know (´ . .̫ . `) aaa#now that i said it it's like a dam of feelings burst ૮ – ﻌ–ა girl...#she has a husband. but he's a scrub. but she's my boss. but we're already so sweet to each other. but i shouldn't. but i want to#aaauuugghghfhfghhghkhkjltlskxkvofjw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ignore me and my pining (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ♡ im crazy about that girl. i really am huh.. 🚶🏾♀️#if you got to hang out with her u would get it.... i can't believe her man ain't shit... pls let me give u my attention#u don't have to be mine nor am i wanting that but let me take care of you (｡ﾉω＼｡) ♡ u work so hard for everyone else#she's fantasizing.... ......... wanting.. contemplating...?..?? no. no....??¿......? ......... 😐 hm#lmao
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My life the past couple years has mostly been made up of waiting for people in the car. Or driving people someplace. It kind of agonizes me to no end :(
#it was a little worse last year but my god it actually sucks.#and I like driving. I actually kind of love it. but I’m going to be honest here I feel like I have wasted the past 2.. even 3 years of my#life completely. but that’s also from other factors 😭#I just basically am so guilty all the time which hurts so much it angers me and then i have to drive multiple hours a day picking people up#and dropping them off. and them telling me the wrong times or when I pick them up they give me even more errands to run. idk#I do all this for free as well. I’m not someone who believes in charging family or friends for favors but if I’m doing this every day..#I also can’t work because i don’t have time between doing all this shit for my family. so I’m broke. and not getting paid to waste my time 😭
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bitching abt my job again
tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia
#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind#for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at#and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years#only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down#despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down#so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen#and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it#and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first#--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl#bc of course they dont give a shit about the library#they just care about how scary the queers are#and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town#and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time#(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the#--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting#the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display#its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages#talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w#--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens#sourse: i was one of tgose#and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk#and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look#--elsewhere#bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater#--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education#i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too#but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in#--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on
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society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.
#on a serious note this changes a lot actually. annabeth and percy would not be in chb anymore so when percy goes missing#its like. a genuine possibility and fear because demigods don't make it that old. there is also some added time between tlo and tlh as well#further adding to jasons isolation as being even WEIRDER than everyone else. he also would've been praetor for longer so maybe the romans#wouldve cared more. this also does away with the plot hole of ppl not giving a shit that jason piper and leo (and dylan) straight up#dipped. introducing piper especially to a summer camp makes chb less appealing because they're too old for that and thus makes their#departure from chb make more sense in toa. yet also it opens up the possibility of new rome uni.... which i cannot see any reason as to why#leo would not go there!!!!! outside of being banned cuz he bombed new rome lol. but pipers sexuality arc works for college too!!! ur never#too old to find urself. but also this is the question of if you are able to relatively function in society (this is more for piper leo fran#and i guess percy) then why would you even fight this prophecy??? anyway lol them being college aged is perfect cuz percy is literally#going to a new place and having a new transition with new ppl... like u do in college LOL. now the question is would hazel still be 13. nic#is a lot older at this point and perhaps has the same age gap as bianca and him did 🤔 cant remember. but also don't know why hazel was 13#in the first place lol. idk. in my college hoo she is just a senior in hs about to graduate from spqr and thinking about staying there or#possibly going to newru after seeing frank make the decision the previous year! SAD!#anyway in hoo. percy and annabeth are sophomores. frank and the lost trio are freshman.#but then in toa. percy annie frank and the lost trio are all graduating cuz percy got held back and Annabeth failed after tartarus fr.#but then also know that piper never went to newru and is adamant about going to mortal uni. and leo kills in newru but is bored. nvm i#forgot he died 🧍♂️ ummmmmm ok. ignore leo. and jason actually. so um. ok that really threw me off but are u getting it. that's when apollo#is like 'heeyyyyy i need help pwease 🥺' and they're all like 'dude.'#OK!#but also i ackowedge that this is a children's book and i am not its demographic so god be with you.
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"Im worried what people would think of you then, that you're just a personal whore or something- i don't want to ruin your reputation.."
"Are you kidding? 'My dick was so good i got promoted-' Thats the biggest flex i can think of!"
"Well, you're certaintly enthusiastic about this."
#ive been thinking of the au from @planethoneybee's tags in that writing prompts post#on the topic of giyuu wanting sabito to have political power in case something happens or someone tries to pull shit-#him & shinobu debating the pros and cons of giving him title of concubine before giyuu brings up the social aspect#so shino calls sab in to get his thoughts on the matter directly and it made me laugh#another bit w sanemi- theyre at a meeting talking abt finances and theyre talking of cutting sanemi's beetle funding-#G: i can pay for it /Sane: what? /G: keep as much funding to the project as possible- i'll finance the rest of it out of my#own allowance. that works doesnt it? /Shino: i suppose. ..but you'd do that for beetles? /G: i see importance in it. /Shino: very well-#sanemi doesnt thank him or even mention it but he definitly looks at giyuu differently after that- he used his own shit to keep#the project going full blast? damn. he did that for sanemi's beetles. man.#somethn somethn giyuu bringing up the idea for shinobu to have a personal guard(/helper) as well#shinobu 'i know what you are' @ giyuu before he hurriedly explains he doesnt mean get a side hoe hes genuinely just#offering to find her a trusted guard/helper whos sole purpose is to do errands n shit specifically for her 'oh! that sounds nice actually'#'sab has someone in mind for you- says shes one of the best in the forces and a pleasant personality' 'ill see that for myself first'#'okay [thumbs up]'#im imaginging a mix between european kingdoms & east asian/chinese/japanese empires except i dont know shit about either#only thing i vaguely know is theres advisors & like sub-royalty & in traditional japanese more (/complex) layers of clothing = rich/royal#the 'sub royalty' has a name im p sure. i forgor. fuckiinnn.#nope its just not there. oh well. giyuu w the fingerless sleeve-gloves my FUCKING beloved#also vague thought of sabito & mitsuri wearing helmets that utilize their pink hair as fuckin. yk the european knights#w the stupid ponytail thing/romans w the gold helm/red mohawk thing. somethn like that#they wouldnt wear like full Heavy Armor like knights do their fighting styles & w the close-quarters they wouldnt need it#but like for Show at Fancy Pantsy Time theyd dress up similarly#loserboy giyuu posting#loverboy sabito posting#sabigiyuu#of all the shit i have for this au THATS the scene that gets front page. dick joke funniee#(in case its not clear text goes Giyuu-Sabito-Shinobu talking)
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moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again
#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress#she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks#and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie#if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...'#she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed#and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the#same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse#and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front#immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories.#marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont#it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has#its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know#using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane.#like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and#that we need to stop buying 'junk food'#MOMM....OH MY GOOOD...#whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes.#ed ment#i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has#started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude
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saying "this is unbearable" abt things yet still continuing to bear them. give it up for the human spirit everyone 🙏👆👍💪💪💪❗❗❗
#guy who has given up 999999999 times but has then kept going 1000000000000 times despite it..#this is abt aforementioned work situations and also new awful work situation. this time i got yelled at by a customer bc i wouldn't leave#when i opened the glass case for them which is like. a showcase with these glass doors that only employees can open with specific keys in#which the more expensive bags & jewelry & watches etc reside and if a customer asks if we can open it so they can view or try on a thing#inside we have to stay by them until they're done looking or trying on and have decided they're gonna take it (or not) because we have had#things stolen so many times here u wouldn't believe. so we're told to stay thus i had to stay till she was finished and she didn't rlly lik#that one i guess.. anyway while i do not give a shit what a random woman thinks of me i am very bad with getting yelled at so. fun times.#still red in the face as i'm typing this. it's fine though i didn't cry 👍 a near thing though but that's also fine i'm gonna go to the#staff toilets and sneak my trusty wired earphones in with me and listen to whale song until i've calmed down#can't wait to get home and eat and shower and get in my sweatpants and drink a beer or possibly some wine and watch attorney woo and then#later this evening play a game on the ps5 with my siblings and eat late-night snacks and drink another beer or possibly some more wine and#forget all about the start of this day <33333 and scroll through tumblr somewhere in between there and also do my duolingo lest i lose my#stupid streak. peace n love on planet earth once i get home <3333#r.txt
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the most difficult part about group projects is not doing everything yourself
#to be serious i obviously want to respect everyone's time and efforts but sometimes it's genuinely very difficult to find a balance between#evreyone contributing in ways they would prefer and the output being good. what do you do when someone is bad at something yet enthusiastic#if this was baking a cake or something else i wouldn't give a shit but this is university and we have constructed but objective guidelines#clearly this is only a problem if you're a bad person like me who prioritizes results over how people feel in situations where we're graded#i am as polite as possible but how do i gently say let me do everything over for you#what makes this even more difficult is my own inability to start things early so this problem is double my fault - at the point#where i would have my thing done others have completed their work already before so i'm always overstepping#even if i'm ready before the deadline as well. the others are just faster overall#i'm fully aware how arrogant and insufferable i am and this is btw i know the people working with me are extremely talented in their ways#and carry skills i don't have etc etc but fuck some of the things i have to redo are sooooo simple and this way of working#is extremely inefficient because on top of doing my own work i have to look over the work of others and i know that's because i want#to do so and it's not their fault but at the same time they all did say they're aiming for the highest grade so what gives#i'm actually the worst person to have as a group work member </3 genuinely horrible. i've decided for now just let what is there slide and#emphasize giving credit about all the work the people have done rightly to them and then just quietly fix it later for the final submission#shit talking
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Have you ever thought about how Linebeck describes Jolene as "crazier than a rabid squid"- only to then be possessed by a literal rabid squid later in the game?
Cause I sure have- especially after seeing a lot of your BellumxLinebeck stuff
mmmmghmm im gonna be honest i haven't thought about it much at all
linking it to my bellum x linebeck thoughts, im not too sure what to make of it in context with my other linebeck notes and w/e
there's also my idea that linebeck has a special interested in shellfish and by extension squids, and the idea of him having a weird thing for bellum, and just... enjoying sealife, and it's kinda of...
he compares her to a rabid squid to link in order to i think... offer a shorthand explanation of what she's like, and i think it (with some other stuff) is kinda just another little peek into how he might feel abt her?
i mean he also compares link to a dog in that one letter? i'm not sure where im going with that one. i dont think linebeck particularly likes dogs
i'm not sure abt the link between that and him getting possessed, jolene is kind of just... there a lot of the time and doesn't really do anything except 1) show that linebeck has enemies and 2) show that people know about link's quest by the end, linebeck generally references sea creatures a few times in ph
relating to bellum x linebeck, i dont see him comparing jolene to a squid an indicator of anything in relation to that, with linebeck having a thing for bellum its more of like. there's a lot of complicated ideas i have with what goes on between them during bellumbeck and bellum being a squid thing is more linebeck having a bit of a monsterfucker streak and having a bit of a thing for like. being tied up. as for literal squids he kinda just likes them as food and to dissect and learn about
like i think 'rabid squid' is more like linebeck just tossing out some derogatory shorthand to explain how he thinks of jolene as some fucking. violent annoyance he has to deal with that he doesn't fully understand
tbh i see the comparison but imo it comes down to a difference in characters and interactions and histories, there is the rabid squid thing (and i think in the manga too theres a vague parallel drawn ig) but im not. sure. what there is there just beyond. linebeck talks about sea creatures and wants to get the fuck away from jolene
i'm not entirely certain what you've been thinking about with that comparison, but i haven't been thinking much about it and it's kinda. eh ig???? its something
#asks#musicncomics#like im gonna be real jolene is a character i do everything i can to avoid half of the time#im not too sure what your thoughts on this are but i can tell you like jolene leagues more than i do so like. idk#idk i have a hard time talking abt jolene bc i Do Not like her so im not really sure beyond this stuff its just. idk#bellum also isnt a literal squid like looking at actual squids the most comparisons are surface level and dont work too deeply#he kinda just looks like one at first glance but 1) doesnt line up well enough and 2) we dont have enough info on him anyways#hes more a reference to a squid than an actual squid bc there is the reference to sperm whales and giant squids fucking hating each other#but while oshus is literal whale bellum is like. some thing in the shape of a squid#im not sure what parallels oyu can draw between the jolene thing and bellum thing. if anything theyre opposites?#w/ jolene its like things got so bad (or w/e) that he just robbed her n fucked off and she decided that was enough to warrant murder#while with bellum things get so good (w/ link and co) that he risks his life for em and is turned against them for it?#tbh this kinda comes down to me having a pretty negative bias against jolene and. that ship. so yeah sorry#im not gonna give this any main tags or anything this is way too far off the beaten path and kinda negative#idk i hc linebeck as gay and a lot of other linebeck hcs just kinda. suggest that he kinda had a really shit time w/ jolene#i dont like her im trying to figure that shit out so i can be like. fair at least in how i write her but i dont like her#salty talks#sorry that i keep tearing away from the rabid squid thing but its like a minefield when i try to talk abt anything w/ jolene#theres not a ton of parallels or like shared themes or w/e and its just too dissimilar in little ways that its just. a thing#ill add this in a few hours later idk if youll see jt but like. i can go in depth and discuss stuff#in dms like im fine with that its just weird in posts bc like tagging and my thoughts are a mess#like if you wanna elaborate on your thoughts thats fine
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Why do right wingers go on and ON about "father's in the home" when fathers are basically useless in the home? Like every year I see posts that go around about "dad finding out about what I got for Christmas" and it's like if fathers are so uninvolved they don't even know what Christmas gifts their kids are getting I don't think them being gone does much?? Like of course there's good and bad parents of all genders, but traditional gender roles- which the aforementioned right wingers ascribe to- mean men do jack fucking squat in the house OR anything with their kids so what the hell do right wingers think men are doing that's so important in the home if it's none of the childrearing or house work??
All I've got in this framework is a paycheque and these days women work so men wouldn't even be contributing something women DON'T, so I have no idea what these people think men are doing that it's so irreplaceable that being gone is damaging to children when by all means under their ideas of gender and family men are less than useless to their family. Women do all that work (and barring that, DAUGHTERS do more parental work than fathers so them being gone does what, exactly, except maybe rid the family of an overgrown child? Men who actually contribute are the ones families would be damaged without, not traditional men who probably don't even know how to do their own laundry OR cook or have any life skills because women have done everything for them their whole lives so???)
#winters ramblings#'no fathers in the home is what leads to gangs!' they cry while they do nothing with their kids make their wives do all the housework#and theur DAUGHTERS parent more often than THEY do. TELL ME what use you are in the house Giant Man Baby#tell me what thing you do thats of the Utmost Importance that being done causes irreversible damage to your kids#surely you being THERE isnt causing them damage right? RIGHT???? because this brand of dude being HOME#sounds worse than this brand of dude being GONE because these dudes and the women who marry them are HORRIBLE tyrants#who deserve each other but sure shit DONT deserve the kids they have then force into their lifestyle then abuse all their lives#like serioualy what the FUCK do they think men are doing thats so important in the home when their own beliefs state men do SQUAT#in the home??? do tou seriously think your PRESENCE is what does it?? pretty grandiose sense of self there huh#assuming just EXISTING beside your kids lives means youre literally holding everything together lmao like no#your wife does all that and if she isnt your KIDS do it buddy you dont do fuck all to consider yourself that important i dont get this#like literally men in traditional gender shit dont do ANYTHING outside of a job amd getting waited in hand amd foot#do you think having a personal slave you occasionally fuck is what makes you this important??#i mean the mormins say yes so hard they think a billion wives gives you a better planet in the afterlife but like come on#at least ATTEMPT to have common sense when recruiting to your nonsense beliefs#then turn around and claim GAY PEOPLE are recruiting people to their 'lifestyle' like that isnt LITERALLY THE DESCRIPTION OF MISSIONARY WORK#gays arent CHRISTIANS guys. (some are but they arent recruiting to GAYNESS even if they may try to convert you religious wise-#although i suspect a great many WOULDNT do that on account of the history between the church and gay people#so probably they just are gay and love jesus but still yall get it)
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it can be so fucking hard to be close to people who have very different understandings of time and respect than you.
#im just going to bitch in the notes so i can get it out of my system#it fucking hurts my feelings when my friends are significantly later than they said they would be#they are driving up and visiting me which i do appreciate#but its like. 95% of the time im the one meeting them wherever and whenever works for them#and theyd made it sound like theyd be coming hours ago and they werent#and finally got on the fucking road and their eta was 13 minutes ago and they still arent here#and its like. i get that they have their own lives and traffi and shit#but ive told them many times that it genuinely upsets me when this happens#to the point that if they werent already on the road id just tell them to fucking stay home#its the biggest stressor in our relationship and it seems like theyll get better for a bit after we talk about it#then it gets bad again#and it sucks because i was excited! and now im feeling bitter and upset and i either have to swallow it#or bring the mood down#and im sure they have more shit to do at home so its not like they'll be sticking around for a long time tomorrow#if they do i'll be shocked#but like. id thought of fun stuff we can do and im cool with not doing them but a better fucking heads up would be appreciated#i shouldnt have to ask 3 times to find out when youre coming#especially when i give a very long time between asking to not be a bother#and it just feels like they dont respect me or my time. i couldve done so much more this afternoon#but ive been here fucking waiting for them.#and i told them i was worried this shit would happen once i no longer lived right near them#and they said it wouldnt be a fucking problem. well guess what.#and i have had to defend them to my dad who i live with as well#and then this shit happens. it sucks#anyway. i thought they'd be here 2 hours ago.#whatever. nothing i can do about it now.#tree talks
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A good chunk of my dream today was spent on a bus traveling with my dad where after a very long while of being annoyed by an old woman an old classmate whose face and voice i remember but his name i don't encouraged me to tell her, and tell her i did. At first i started speaking formally but by the end I snapped and i was straight up screaming about how she's annoying and i hate to see her face every time i get on this goddamn bus and it was time someone told her these things. There wasn't a reaction from anyone because i was waking up tho so the dream fell apart before my own eyes.
#luly talks#there were also some moments of claustrophobia probably because my horrible anxiety as of lately#first one was after me and my dad tried to skip paying ticket we were forced to go to the corner behind the bus driver seat#between the machine to pay#and wait until the next stop to do so#second time was after i went to sit on the back because the middle had some weird long seats#there was a very weird guy next to me but i was ignoring him until between him and some other guy (it wasnt intentional they weren't trying#to hurt me but they were doing it anyway) i got stuck and i was like begging them to move snd let me go and saying i was stuck#as i tried to squiggle away#i got away from that bug fuckin g BITING them#and finally the last was before i finally snapped where someone screamed something and i looked out of the window and i realized the bus#was going underwater so i grabbed onto this classmate and ducked down not even caring about it being weird#but then it cleared like nothing and due to that stress i just snapped at the woman#who let me give more context: when my dad and i tried to skip paying she started talking shit in that old woman fashion#but then she wouldn't stop complaining about this student who had done a graffiti because apparently the bathrooms were trash#and one of the things i told her is ''you can have us from morning til noon making graffitis and cleaning them up but that won't change#that the bathroom is still shit#also i think she wanted to cause some repercussions for me speaking like that bc she was like DONT YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I WORK AT ...#and i was like No i don't i never heard of it im new im from the city but with the most arrogant tone ever#anyway it was fun
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You know what. I'm trying not to be but I'm really mad. I went to the post office to try and get photo ID so I can finish updating my legal documents, but they couldn't help me... Cause to get the photo ID I need the other legal documents in the correct name...... But I don't have them because they require the photo ID from the post office......... The photo ID that I can't get because I don't have the documents that require photo ID to be updated................. This is the worst loop and I've been stuck since February
#i need to fucking say it cause I'm getting more and more cranky#The lady at the post office was very nice and tried to ask her manager if there was any way she can get it for me with what i had#but she couldn't :''''''(#i had to travel a few suburbs over to get to a big post office cause the little ones don't do photo ID.. so that was a few hours wasted lol#I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO UPDATE MY SHIT SINCE FEBRUARY BUT IT'S SOOOO FUCKING HARDDDDD#IT TAKES ME TIME TO GET TO IT CAUSE I'M FUCKING BUSY ALL THE TIME AND RARELY EVER HAVE TIME DURING WORK HOURS#WHICH ARE THE ONLY TIMES GOV SERVICES ARE OPEN.... SO I'M PRETTY FUCKED#plus being autistic and just generally struggling with the paperwork and poorly described methods of filling out said paperwork#i have been bounced between all identifying services like a DVD logo. 'if you don't have y we can't give you x'#WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS STUPID ASS LOOP???!#I ALREADY PAID THE RIDICULOUS AMOUNT TO HAVE MY NAME AND SHIT CHANGED! YOU'RE ALREADY PROCESSING IT AT THE GOVERNMENT#JUST UPDATE ALL MY SHIT IN THE SYSTEM THERE WHILE YOU HAVE IT FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!#MAIL ME THE NEW CERTIFICATE AND A SUMMONS TO WHATEVER PLACE WILL DO PHOTO ID SO THEY CAN JUST TAKE A PHOTO#AND I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS STUPID ASS HASSLE#like. i don't have an extra couple hundred laying around to apply for a passport. and also it's such a waste to apply for one rn#I'm not going to be travelling any time soon but that's the only one where i maaayyyyy be able to squeeze through and get it#BUT IT'LL BE LIKE $500+!!!! I DON'T HAVE THAT AND IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY#AND I CAN'T GET A DRIVERS LICENCE CAUSE I'M NOT SAFE BEHIND THE WHEEL! SO I DON'T WANT AN ID IMPLYING I CAN DRIVE#AND REGARDLESS OF THAT. I CAN'T FUCKING GET A LICENSE ANYWAY CAUSE OF THIS LOOP I'M STUCK IN#SO LIKE!!!!??????#AND EVEN THEN.. THE PROOF OF AGE ID I'M TRYING TO GET ISN'T RECOGNISED AS LEGITIMATE ID IN MOST PLACES#SO LIKE FUCK ME!!!!!!!!#i don't go clubbing or buy alcohol so idgaf but. things like MAKING SURE I'M ENROLLED FOR VOTING DON'T RECOGNISE PROOF OF ARE#EVEN THO PROOF OF AGE IS ONLY OBTAINABLE THROUGH THE FUCKING SAME GOV THAT MAKES SURE I'M ABLE TO VOTE#o don't care about semantics on this this shit is soooo fucking stupid and I'm over it#i just wanted my name and shit to be updated on everything so i can graduate and reenter the work force properly#but i have already been struggling for like 10 months!!!!!#fuck this all to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!#delete later
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#it looks like they won't hire me xd#because they need me there 9 hours#[NINE hours#for shit pay; but okay#i just need the curricular experience anyway]#and my school won't let me do that xd and of course i won't just drop school because whatever company wants me to#but hey 🤷 i had to try [asking them to please help me fit work somewhere in between my subjects]#still it felt nice because a real job was impressed with my curriculum :3#That gives me much more confidence to keep on applying to jobs [as soon as i can]#personal
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Man I've been dead as fuck on here I miss posting stuff but idk what to post abt :/
#rat rambles#Ive mostly been thinking abd wc rp stuff and a lil bit of sploon and bndori but not enough that I feel motivayes to talk abt it#idk I might try doing an oc art ask game tomorrow maybe. like yall can give me two characters and Ill draw a scene between them#honestly if you wanna lock and load a pair ahead of time feel free to send it just know I might not get to it in a bit#I do have owed art Im working on still but Ive drawn more art than I have due total in one day before so Ill be fine#Im getting to draw monkeys for the first time so thats exciting!! Ive been wanting to for a while but havent had a good excuse to so Im#having fun with it :]#Im happy abt how flexible my artstyle is now if you asked me to draw a monkey like a year ago Id probably die djskhdjd#also Im soooo much better at poses now which also makes me rly happy#idk I just feel like my art is in a good place rn :]#I still have things I wanna improve on (mainly perspective) but all in all I think Ive made HUGE progress over the past year#I will say though I still feel like a lot of my stuff from abt a year ago still holds up (not all of it tho lol)#like in abt 2 months my beats animation will be a year old and thats fucking wild to me#but I will say I think in general my art is on average better quality noe#plus I will say the background in that animation was kinda shit Ive definitely improved on that frong djskysjs#I still have way more to go until Ill be happy with my ptoper backgrounds though#Im not bad at them per say but I dont rly know what Im doing with them either#I wanna be able to more easily get across the images I have in my head for backgrounds#Ill get there eventually tho#for now Im ok with where Im at Im sure Ill improve more as I draw as is always the case djsjhsks
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