#being vague because I don't want to add to the drama
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When you hear about a major le*k in the series that you’ve been following for years and go through the 5 stages of grief:
1 Learn it’s from the official source so it’s safe to look at I guess?
2 Learn it was actually not supposed to be le*ked but who cares I wanna be sp*iled
3 Learn that someone (not just someone, someone Someone) is very angry about the le*k right now
4 Still try to look for sp*ilers but all you can find is people screaming they’re seeing sp*ilers everywhere
5 Acceptance: it’s fate you’ll be the only fan not to be sp*iled because for the love of god I can’t find this stupid sp*iler everywhere, it’s all people screaming
6 Work on the acceptance part
#lmao#being vague because I don't want to add to the drama#But I guess I'll have to literally wait and see because I ain't seeing anything anyways#spoilers#spoiler#jk it was the first thing I saw while logging I don't even remember on what social media#and then the funny thing is that to find the actual deleted video I had to scavenge the whole internet#I was spoiled like anyone else so I just said to hell with it and decided to spoil me for good#whole video with 2 frames in it#s2 spoilers#s2#good omens spoilers#gomens spoilers#gomens spoiler#good omens season 2 spoilers#babbel babbles
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It's forty minutes into the latest state of the company press conference and Bruce has had to mute his mic entirely to avoid being turned into a meme AGAIN for sighing too much at his own event. For all that he's spent almost 20 years coaching his own children on not making scenes, he's really not much better. It's hot and he doesn't want to be here. His ribs hurt. He's tired. He's hungry. He's every excuse Dick or Jason have trotted out over the years.
(Tim understands company manners and can almost always be trusted to stick it out as long as he's allowed to vent his frustrations afterwards. He's recently taken to smashing ugly thrifted dishes. Stephanie and Damian have been collecting any ceramic not entirely pulverized and turning them into pavers for Alfred's garden.)
(Bruce gave up after Tim. He really only needs one kid to tag along to social events. If the kid start to outnumber him they start getting IDEAS.)
His distraction is why it takes two very rude repetitions of his name for him to take notice at the young reporter pushing his way to the front. Lucius stands, cutting off the project manager currently presenting and speaks into the mic.
"Please keep hold all questions until the end of the presentation, thank you."
"Mr. Wayne," the reporter tries again and Bruce waves away Lucius's further protests.
"Can I help you?" He asks, smiling with the full force of Brucie Wayne's charm behind it. It's been awhile since his last scandal, but if the press is inventing drama then it's less work for him.
The man holds up a photograph almost accusingly. He reeks of gotcha journalism.
Bruce squints towards him, unable to fully make out the contents of the photo. Dick may have been right when he gently suggested Bruce add glasses to his Brucie Wayne persona but that was a hill Bruce was still willing to die on. It was bad enough he had to have a prescription COWL.
"What do you have to say about the presence of your adopted son, Timothy Drake at the illegal mob in Robinson Park last Saturday?"
"Drake-Wayne," Bruce corrected because Tim hyphenated, damn it. He was the first of his children to let Bruce tag the Wayne name on and it mattered, damn it. "Wait do you mean-"
"How about reports of him kissing a man while there?"
"A blond man?" Bruce asked, finally giving up and crossing to take the photo for himself. "Oh. No, that's his boyfriend."
There was a beat of silence before Bruce realized his mistake. Just as the reporters began to squall, he dropped the blurry photo and began to speed walk off, phone suddenly in hand.
Through the podium's microphone, the gathered reporters heard one thing as Bruce evacuated the immediate vicinity.
"Tim? Don't be mad."
---
Despite Bruce's best efforts, he becomes a meme.
---
Immediately following the bombshell that Timothy Drake-Wayne had a boyfriend, social media blows up, clamoring for more information. They're ravenous for it, desperate. Tim doesn't have a personal social media presence but they stalk his professional accounts religiously. Bruce does have personal social media, but he maintains radio silence.
In the end, a Gotham based "influencer" stumbles across Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne getting donuts at Kosher Donuts and Co. Dick is personable, as always, and stops to speak with the young woman briefly.
"Yeah, Tim wasn't mad," he laughs when asked. "Just disappointed. But man, he knows how to milk it."
"Bruce is in the doghouse, huh?" she asks, full of false sympathy.
"A little bit," Dick says as Damian mumbles, "Titus would never share."
"But," Dick continued. "Tim's spun it so Bruce is on the hook for like, half a million in donations for local LGBT charities. Tim says it would hurt less if he sponsored a new shelter too, so that's something to look forward to."
"That's a lot of money! Where's it all going?"
"Oh you know," Dick says and gestures vaguely. "A lot of different programs."
"Yeah? Anything you personally want to see done with the funding?"
"Drag story time," Damian answers before Dick can. He looks intense. "But not for children. For dogs. In the shelter."
---
A day later, Tim breaks the silence. He goes live on Bruce's Instagram.
"So the problem was that Bruce thought the reporter was saying I was being unfaithful," Tim explains. "He totally forgot I wasn't out to everyone yet. Bruce was just worried because he's already told me if I break up with my boyfriend, he's not uninviting him from any future family events."
"Luckily, I was in fact just kissing my boyfriend at PRIDE. Just because people got shifty with the permits at the last second because of protestors doesn't make it an illegal mob. If you wanna hear about Wayne's and illegal mobs, talk to Dickie about his younger years. Nothing I do can compare."
#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batfamily#dc pride#happy pride#timbern#wrote this on my phone so good luck with grammar or spelling#my writing tag
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I do NOT want to make this specific to anything. This is a vent purposefully kept vague. So just take the rant as is, because it can be applied to so much.
It's really a bit of a headache seeing people try to find some dark ulterior motives as to why some people care more about stupid pop culture drama instead of much more serious horrific things happening in the world.
No, in most cases there is not secret evil reason why people care more about some stupid celebrity drama, it's because it's easy to digest drivel with little impact all things considered. It's easier for people to stomach that stuff, versus big things happening with a lot of death and human suffering.
No it's not a race thing. It's not a sexuality thing. It's not a gender thing. It's not a sexism thing. Trying to point fingers at one of these groups is just stupid and shows that even the informed people don't understand more than what they want to know.
Stupid famous people gossip is always going to win, because the bar for entry is so low, you would have to dig to find it.
People are nosy motherfuckers, but they also don't want to risk that nose being cut off.
Would it be nice if everyone was able to talk about heavy subjects with the respect it deserves? Of course, but it's never going to happen because the expectations on how to behave, and inform yourself are so much higher, with a lot less selfish-reward for actually being informed.
There is a reason people say "Dumb people are always happier." And selfish people even more so, and if that's how they want to live, then let them. Not like they'll add anything to the situation if they don't understand it to begin with.
--
Yuuup. And the idea that our empathy and ability to effect political change will be improved by being constantly exhausted and miserable is foolish at best. Fix the things you can closer to home. Vote. Don't waste your time feeling miserable about horrific current events. There's always a new one, and your personal feelings won't help it one way or the other.
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Since GOT they’ve been using rape and abuse to humble or break a woman/Girl because they aren’t the “right” kind of woman. They don’t ride a dragon or yield a sword. They don’t fight against their period typical role in life that they were born and raised in. They’re not “A guys girl” or the “I don’t have any girl friends, they’re too much drama” types who prefer the company of men to women, who would rather train with a sword and not learn embroidery. They don’t have dialogue that vaguely sounds more 21st century than Middle Ages.
These women are seen as of less value than our little dragon riding, sword and fist fighting tomboys. So they need to be taught that if you had just been more like this or more like that you wouldn’t have been brutalized and abused. The things that were done to you by other people is all your fault and you deserved it.
This show/franchise is not even in the same room as feminism.
👏👏👏 Nothing more to add anon. No lie was told.
The sad thing is, this is not what I got from the books of asoiaf at all. Women's experience was never told in juxtaposition to others. There is no humbling or brutalizing other women as a "punishment" for not being better, more rebellious, or bolder than others. The books tell stories of suffering and that's it. The way shows and fandoms decide to try and force other characters into another one's story for the sole purpose of comparing them so they prove that stanning one means having a moral high ground over another character's stans is the most idiotic thing to ever have happened among fandoms, to say the least. Especially when the two characters in question don't even know each other.
Just look at the way Sansa and Dany are treated in the fandom. Have a shot for every time Sansa in King's Landing is called a tradwife as if this wasn't a girl in middle school trying to survive they're talking about, or for every time she's called jealous of Dany. Imagine if a stranger girl with three dragons cames knocking on your door demanding that you and all of your people and their mama bend the knee to her and you are the jealous one and the villain because you just... Don't? Also, you deserve to be threatened with death when you pose a reasonable question, and you need to take it and be better and shut up. Then you're a "girls' girl" deserving of respect, etc.
We want strong female characters to think for themselves, except when that "thinking for oneself" isn't the same thing as kissing the ground the fan favourite girl walks on.
If only fandoms paid more mind to what makes a character likeable or unlikeable in their eyes BASED ON THE CHARACTER ITSELF, and not on their perspective on their faves, interacting with them would be way more fun. Books/shows like asoiaf/GOT or F&B/HotD aren't places where you just choose a character you like and that's it, she's an icon she's a legend and she is the moment. If it was, it would either be a story for kids or a hell for Mare Sues' fans. As long as you treat asoiaf characters like deities that can do no wrong and everyone else as villains in need of redemption, you should step back and read something else.
This is something that needs to be accepted even between writers and directors, btw. Just look at what F&B was turned into. Girlboss vs Girlfail. Blacks got the Girlboss, the virtuous rightful heir, good mother fine ruler, Greens' got the Girlfail, the rape enabler, the boy mom, the tradwife, you name it.
No, it doesn't matter that the latter is doing everything she can possibly do. She was a piece of shit the moment she stopped toiling behind the former because everyone is meant to be like or kneel before girlboss with dragon. Only then are your ambitions respectable. If not, fuck you, you're nothing. Everything that happens to you is your fault. I'll be in the front seats cheering for when everything you love is ripped brutally from you.
Even when your grown-up son rapes a maid. Even when girlboss with dragon threatens to put your people to the torch because you won't bend the knee.
TL;DR: There's no need to compare/stone certain female characters for being what they are instead of a completely different type. If all of them were tomboyish with swords or feminine with embroidery, it would be boring. You aren't better than anyone for having preferences. Also, learn how to blame men when they fuck up. It's great for the bowel.
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stranger things ● can't fight this feeling ● s.harrington
warning
angsty!Steve in the beginning, flirtatious!coquette reader, neighbors to lovers, high school drama and angst, no sci fi or upside down this is a total AU, underage smoking, alcohol and 🍃 + house parties and eventual filth / PDA ( for my readers who aren't a fan you're warned now ahead of time), Steve finally wins a fight it's happening at some point, teeeny hints of a rivalry between Billy / Steve but Steve is bae so he will win, swearing, sarcasm. mentions of both steve and reader having similar but totally different home lives and steve's parents are.. old money snobby.
<- female reader warning ( personified a fair bit, clothing / hair / body parts and loads of personality so this one isn't as vague sorry babes this is me being ✨ self indulgent ✨ to a degree )
word count
7670 words exactly. I uh.. got carried away, oopsies.
( i'm on my bullshit.. again. there was a lot of groundwork to set bc this is deffo going to be a series. )
summary
he's fresh off a breakup with Nancy and he's not looking. but then you move in next door and he's entirely too aware. will either of you be able to fight your feelings?
( traaash. summary is trash. song inspo / title is can't fight this feeling by REO Speedwagon cos it kinda fits, esp the 'my life has been a whirlwind since I saw you' line. trust me on this. )
taglist
-- taglist here if you want to be tagged in my works please lmk or add yourself. otherwise, i don't tag.also, also.. if anyone who joined my ST list for strictly gareth fics wanna be removed from my other nonsense lmk please?
@tbmunson - bestie i luhh you. i had to tag you in this because you're my inspiration. feel free to ignore though, babes.
@allelitesmut
@chaoticcancer
@cursethememory
@dylanwritesgood
@just-a-blue-nerd
@music4life42
@slyisbehindyou
other links
masterlist ● steve's masterlist ● about + rules
Rain drizzles down the window of the classroom as Steve Harrington stares out, bored. He’s barely listening, his mind’s a million miles away. Replaying the talk he had with the guidance counselor about college and the importance of it in his head.
The door to the classroom opens with a tired creak, slowly. He tears his eyes off the gray drizzle outside to glance over and he watches as you walk in, stopping by the teacher’s desk. You happen to glance his way and the second you do this, he’s lost in your eyes for a few seconds. You’re the one who looks down first. Beside him, he can hear Carol and Nicole whispering back and forth, he catches bits of it and rolls his eyes.
If he needed a reminder as to why he stopped being friends with Carol and Tommy, the fact that she’s already talking about you and she doesn’t even know you is a good one. Carol snickers quietly, nodding to the front of the classroom at you as she tells Nicole, “She’s gonna get dress coded for that little dress of hers by the end of the day. Only sluts wear that kind of stuff.” and Nicole whispers back, “Carol, that’s mean. You’re not wrong though. I bet she’s easy.”
By now, you’ve clocked the two girls whispering back and forth as they steal glances at you and you want to laugh but you can’t. You’re almost willing to bet that they’re whispering back and forth about the pastel pink slip dress you’re wearing beneath your favorite soft cardigan with the hood and flared sleeves. Honestly, the fact that you’ve only been at Hawkins High for a total of ten minutes now and you’re already being talked about is something you find amusing.
The teacher is still looking over your schedule and as he does, you shuffle your feet against the speckled tiles. Glancing around the classroom.
The first set of gazes you meet are the two girls who are making no secret that they’re talking about you. You smirk at both and when the redhead looks you up and down and mouths the word slut, you shrug.
It’s nothing you haven’t heard before and honestly, you stopped letting anything anybody else says or thinks about you get to you a long time ago.
The next person your eyes settle on is the guy sitting right beside the window with an olive colored Members Only jacket. He looks like a classroom is the last place he wants to be and he’s twisting a black ink pen around in between his fingers until he looks up and right at you.
You can’t help but stare. His hand raises and fingers drag through effortlessly styled brown hair and your eyes catch on the movement for a split second but then they’re moving downward. Settling briefly on the prettiest lips you’ve ever seen on a boy, hands down. You bite your own lip for a second or two and you can feel a slow heat rise from the pit of your stomach, blossoming out over your cheeks and settling in the tips of your ears. He’s still staring, you can’t tell whether it’s amusement, curiosity or boredom, maybe it’s a mix of all three playing in doe eyes as he continues to stare. You shift from one foot to the other and your hand raises, catching in the long thick mess you call hair. Lingering there as you let a slow and soft smile slowly play at your lips.
The trance you’re in is broken by the teacher speaking. First to you, “You can take the empty seat in front of Steve Harrington.” and you nod. Then the teacher addresses that same boy you’ve only just managed to take your eyes off of because you were so mesmerized.
Which is dumb, you think to yourself, because I know how guys are. And he looks like the very kind to break your heart and probably laugh about it.
You shove the thought out of your head.
“Mr. Harrington, since you’re not taking one of your naps today, mind raising your hand so that our new student can find her desk, sir?”
There’s quiet laughter among the other students and you catch a glimpse of Steve as a hint of pink creeps into his cheeks and he gives the teacher a dirty look while slowly raising his hand.
You make your way over to your new seat and you’re settling in. The teacher tells you what page he’s reading from and you realize there’s no book at your desk so you speak up. “I don’t have a book.”
“You can share with Mr. Harrington. Maybe if he’s sharing a book he’ll actually pay attention for once.” the teacher shoots Steve a pointed look and Steve grumbles to himself but he moves to the empty seat beside your seat, the one normally occupied by some girl named Andrea. He pushes the seat closer to yours and sets the textbook so that it’s between you so you can see it and read along.
You give him this shy little smile and he gives you a weak one. Half-hearted, because Steve Harrington doesn’t smile that much these days.
As he settles into the seat he’s moved so that it’s beside your own, the sultry sweet scent of vanilla and a hint of something fruity envelopes the air around you both and when you lean in a little to read the page as he flips it, your movement sends it wafting towards him all over again.
Your hair brushes against his bare arm and he shifts in his seat slightly. You glance up at him apologetically and a few strands of hair swoop down into your eyes. He shrugs off the apology and goes back to reading. Or attempting to read.
You’re almost hyper aware of the boy sitting next to you, the powdery musk of his designer cologne thick in the air as you catch yourself stealing another glance of his side profile, sharp facial features, the faintest hint of a five o’clock shadow. When you feel his eyes set on you again, you quickly drop your gaze to feign interest in the same paragraph you’ve been reading for almost a whole minute by this point.
You uncross your legs to cross them again the opposite way. He moves to flip the page to the next one and this time, his forearm brushes right against the soft flared sleeve of the cardigan you’re wearing that nearly covers your pastel pink slip dress.
The air is thick, getting thicker by the second. And you catch yourself stealing a look at the clock over the blackboard because you almost can’t breathe properly and you’re wondering how long until the bell rings and you can rush out of class, go find a bathroom and collect yourself.
Steve’s gaze shifts to the clock and he takes a deep breath. There’s only ten more minutes left to class. The teacher finishes reading and closes his book, gazing out into the classroom. “You may choose someone to work with to complete the worksheet.”
You close the textbook and you’re assuming that he’ll move, abandon you to go work with friends or something. Honestly, you’re not in a hurry to find someone to work with, the equations on the worksheet are something you previously covered at your last school so you know you can struggle through and finish them on your own. ,, and I don’t need anybody to work with anyway, I’m better off alone.” the thought comes but it’s quickly shoved out of your head. You pick up your pencil and start working, despite the fact that Steve hasn’t moved back to his normal seat.
“You’re doing it wrong.” Steve speaks up after about ten or fifteen seconds of watching you bite your lip and glare at the paper in front of you, writing in numbers and erasing them. He clears his throat and nods to the worksheet in front of you. You look up at him and your tongue outlines glossy pink lips. He lets his eyes linger for a second or two before taking your pencil and the worksheet. And he calmly explains exactly what you’re missing to solve the problem.
“You have to divide first.” he tells you and you nod. You take the pencil from him when he holds it out to you and you make an attempt at doing the next one on your own, but you wind up annoyed. Letting the pencil fall to the desk.
“Math isn’t.. It’s not my thing. I hate numbers.” you admit quietly. Steve looks up from his half-complete worksheet and over to yours. Then he looks at you. “I can help you.. If you want me to, I mean.”
“Please?” you’re giving him this little pout, begging with your eyes. He chuckles and bites his lip as he trains his eyes on your worksheet. “Okay, I see what’s happening. Okay, this is what you need t’do.” he takes the pencil again and he’s going through each step with you. Every now and then he’ll drag his hand through his hair or pause and rub the back of his neck and your eyes are glued to his hands each time. “Okay, do you understand now?” he questions and you bring yourself out of your little daze to nod. Give him a little smile. “Math isn’t really my thing, but I think I get what you’re saying.”
He chuckles quietly. Goes back to finishing off his own worksheet quietly and after a little more struggling on your end, you finish your worksheet. Everyone else is still working for the most part.
You glance around the classroom for a few seconds to make sure nobody is looking and you slip the pack of gum out. You take a piece for yourself and unwrap it, popping it into your mouth. Then you gently tap Steve on the bicep and when he looks up, you nod to his hands.
His brow raises. You carefully slip the fat square of gum beneath the hand he has resting against the desk, your hands brushing. He sucks in a breath and feels annoyed with himself for the simple fact that even the slightest hint of physical contact is amplified because it’s just so rare that he’s touched or touching anybody else as of late.
It’s not a big deal and he tells himself that.
The bell to end class rings and you rise from your seat, gathering your books and shoving them down into your backpack, slinging that carelessly over one shoulder. Steve realizes that you left a paperback behind on top of the desk you were sitting in so he picks it up and wanders out into the hallway, glancing up and then down, brown eyes scanning the busy crowd of students until he spots you at some lockers down the hall just a little. You’re leaning against a locker with a little silver compact mirror in your hand and you’re reapplying your favorite flavored gloss to your lips.
He makes his way over and you lock eyes with him in the reflection of your little silver mirror just as you’re finishing your touch-up. You give him another soft little smile and close the compact, turning to face him. It puts you body to body and you marvel at the difference in your heights. The way he towers over you and the way the polo shirt he’s wearing cuffs tight against his biceps. As the hallway gets more crowded, you’re forced at one point to step into him and when you do this, you brush against him just barely and Steve swallows hard.
“Sorry.” you mumble, a softness to your voice when you speak. He tears his focus off that and holds out your paperback, hints of a teasing smirk on his face as you feel your cheeks flame up the second you realize you left your current read sitting behind beneath the desk in class.
You want the floor to open up and swallow you right then and there. Your gaze settles on the thick and well-read paperback he’s holding out to you, the picture of a bare chested pirate standing at the helm of a ship with long dark hair blown out in the breeze emblazoned across the front has you swallowing hard. And there’s this teasing gleam in Steve’s eyes as he chuckles. “I think this is yours.”
“Uh huh.” is all you can manage to get out for some reason. And you’re annoyed at yourself for this. You pluck the book out of his hand and you shove it into your locker once you’ve opened it. Steve’s started to walk away and you steal a quick glance as he disappears into a classroom.
When you have to lean against the locker and breathe in, breathe out to pull yourself together, you grow even more annoyed with yourself. “Jesus christ. He’s just a boy.” you fan yourself and beside you, there’s laughter.
“He’s not even that good looking if you want the honest truth. And his kind.. They think they own the school.”
You’re red-faced when you meet the other girl’s gaze. Biting your lip, you nod in agreement. “Yeah. I kind of thought that’d be the case. Usually is with the pretty ones.”
Robin laughs softly. “I’m Robin. What’s your name?”
“___.”
“You’re new, huh?”
You nod. “Today is my first day.”
Robin smiles at you. “Prepare to be bored out of your skull. I’ve gotta get going. I’ll uh.. I’ll see you around?”
You smile back at her and nod. “Yeah. It’s a small school.” you keep it casual. Careful. Because getting too close isn’t something you’re good at. It’s not something you do well with and every single time you do, it winds up being a complete disaster. As she wanders off to her next class, you consult your schedule.
You’re wandering the hallway, in no hurry despite the fact that you know damn well the tardy bell is about to ring and you need to be making an effort to find your next class. As you turn a corner, you find yourself body to body with another boy. He’s not as tall and he looks more than a little overconfident. Blue eyes flit over you, taking you in. He’s chewing spearmint gum, this mixes with the faintest hint of cigarette and you bite your lip, looking him right in the eyes. It’s cheeky. Defiant. He chuckles.
“Hey. Haven’t seen you around before. I’m Billy.”
“___. You haven’t seen me because I’m new. Do you mind?” you’re staring over his shoulder because he happens to be standing right in front of the door you need to go through to get to your next class. Instead of moving, he leans in the doorway. Blocking your entrance. He chuckles. “Oh? You’re in this class too?”
You nod. He steps out of the door and makes a show about letting you go in first. You ignore his theatrics and slink into the room, presenting the teacher with your schedule and gazing around the room as the teacher writes your name down in her grade book. You wind up sitting at the same dual desk that Billy’s assigned to and you can feel him staring at you through class.
You look up a time or two because the weight of his stare is just that heavy.
Somewhere in the middle of class, he slips you a note.
← i’m kind of new here too.
← you smell amazing, by the way. Sweet.
You let your palm settle over the note and slip it across the desk so that it’s in front of your space. Your eyes dance over the words and you can’t help but roll them as soon as you read what he’s written about your scent. It’s the perfume, it gets you a lot of compliments. Surprising for a cheap perfume, but it’s your signature scent now, you haven’t worn anything else since freshman year.
You tap your pink pen against the desktop for a few seconds before responding.
→ Fascinating. I lived in the next town over. Where’d you move here from?
→ Thanks?
There’s not much else to say. You’ve got no real desire to ask him about himself, he strikes you as the type who won’t shut up about himself once you give him an opening to talk. Very much egotistical. Not what you’re into at all.
You slip the note back towards him and his hand settles over your hand for just a second or two, settling on top of it so you can’t pull away. It’s annoying, really.
A definite contrast to the way your two accidental brushes against the hand of Steve Harrington in your first class felt. But you’re shoving that one out as quickly as it invades your brain.
Because you’re better off alone. It’s been proven time and time again for you. Made worse by the fact that since your mom’s death, your own father can’t even stand to be around you. You know he loves you, you know he’s grieving but he’s shut you out completely.
You tear yourself out of your own thoughts and lick your lips, training your eyes on the torn slip of paper. You slip it back over to your side of the desk.
← There’s a party tonight. You should come.
← I can show you around.
You glance over at him, chewing your gum. He’s already staring when you look up and as a result, you make it a point to look down. Picking up your favorite pink pen, you start to scrawl out a response.
→ Can’t. My friends are coming over.
→ I’ll figure it out. Thanks anyway.
You push the torn slip of paper back to him and turn your attention to the worksheet you’ve just been handed by the teacher. This class is another subject you’re not so good at but you’re determined that you’ll struggle in silence. Because you want as little to do with the boy sitting beside you as possible, truth be told. You’re just not into the whole aura of dominance that you’re getting off him.
It reminds you too much of the last boy you dated. The one who kept pushing you into things you weren’t ready for and didn’t want.
Billy rubs his chin thoughtfully and he steals another look at you as you sit beside him, glaring at the worksheet as you uncross your legs and cross them again. You’ve taken off the high platform shoes you were wearing, they’re discarded below your chair. You twist a strand of hair around your finger as you focus on your work.He leans in a little, nodding to the worksheet. “I can help you.”
“I’m fine.” you answer quick. He frowns to himself as soon as you’ve looked away. You’re the first girl that hasn’t fallen at his feet in months and he’s at a loss about it. He’s also determined to change this.
“You’ve got your square drawn wrong.”
You glance up and over at Billy, the end of your pen rested against the center of your bottom lip. “I’ll figure it out later.” you answer.
“Fine. I’m trying to help.” Billy raises his hands and gives you his best good guy smile. You barely acknowledge it, looking back down at the worksheet in front of you instead. The second the bell rings you’ve gathered your books and you’re out the door before Billy even has the chance to catch you. You glance back to find him flanked by the two girls in your first class, both of them whispering and staring at you intently.. Again.
You roll your eyes and turn your head back to the front of you so that you can actually see where you’re going but you don’t do it soon enough and you collide into Steve. Steve’s hands shoot out, resting against your upper arms to steady you and he chuckles. “You’re in a hurry.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I should’ve been paying attention.” you mumble because yet again, you’re mesmerized. You shake your head and laugh softly at yourself. “Trying to get away from this guy in my class.”
Steve chuckles. Has the passing thought that this is something that probably happens to you a lot. Wonders to himself if it has anything at all to do with the way you carry yourself without realizing it, because it took him all of five minutes in the class he had with you earlier to quickly figure out that you’re one of those girls who carries herself like a little flirt and it’s completely unintentional for the most part.
Like, you’re completely unaware of it.
Because if he weren’t a thousand percent sure there was no way in hell you were flirting with you, if this had been last year, he’d have already put the moves on you.
,, but you’re not that guy anymore.” he reminds himself, ,, and you’re better off not getting close or attached because the one time you did was a disaster.”
“This guy have a name?” Steve asks. Surprised by the surge of jealousy that rises to the surface quick when you laugh and roll your eyes as you say the name of the guy in question. “Yeah. His name is Billy.”
“The guy’s a douchebag.” Steve steps up into you because he sees Billy rounding the corner, flanked by Carol and Nicole. Tommy’s walking in front of the three of them, facing away from the flow of hallway traffic like an asshole.
Your gaze flits to the group as they make their way past but it’s only because Steve was already glancing their way and you were curious about where he was looking. Billy locks eyes with you and a smirk plays at peachy lips. “Hey Harrington, I see you met ___.”
Carol rolls her eyes and coughs to cover “Slut.” when she passes you.
“ When a house lands on that bitch I want to be there.” you mumble, a response to hearing what she said and tried to cover. You shake your head and laugh it off and Steve is glaring at their retreating backs. “Ignore her. She’s jealous of pretty much everybody.”
“I picked up on that in first.” you admit, laughing softly. You tilt your head to the side slightly, gazing up at Steve. You haven’t bothered to step away from him and he finally realizes that he’s still got his hands against your upper arms, so he lowers them, slipping them into the pockets of his olive colored jacket. He steps away first, leaning against his locker. “So uh… what class do you have now?”
“Home Ec?” you dig around for the schedule you spent the parts of first class that you weren’t stealing glances at him doodling all over and you find it, holding it out to him. Steve takes the paper and chuckles, raising a hand to rest it against the back of his head. “C’mon. Your class is down the hall from mine. I’ll help you find it.”
Wordlessly, you fall in beside him, wandering down the hall. Neither of you are saying anything to each other. As you pass up Nancy’s locker in the hallway, Nancy watches as Steve walks past with you. She notes the way you tuck yourself into his side when the hallway gets a little too crowded. She catches you when you steal a glance up at him and it lingers right as the two of you are almost past the locker she’s standing in front of. She notices the way you’re biting your lip while you’re staring and all of this prompts her to gently nudge her new boyfriend Jonathan, nodding to your retreating backs.
Jonathan follows his girlfriend’s gaze.
“Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“I don’t know. But I do think she’s into him. Who was she?”
Jonathan shrugs. “Not a single clue.”
But Nancy’s curious now. And she’s sensing the potential to fix the mess she made when she broke up with Steve a few months ago.
“You’re getting an idea.. Aren’t you?”
“Maybe?” Nancy laughs softly as she says it and Jonathan chuckles. “Leave it alone, Nance.”
But she doesn’t want to because she owes Steve.. Something. She feels horrible about the way things ended. Cheating on him even though it’s not what she set out to do.
She hates the way things ended and she’s really hated seeing him the way he is now, all distant and closed off. Shut down.
Steve spots the door to the Home Ec classroom. He nods to it. “There you are.”
You’re lingering in the doorway, almost body to body. “Thanks. I’ll see you around.” you give him another little smile and you turn, making your way into the classroom. As Steve turns to walk away, he finds himself almost nose to nose with Billy Hargrove, who promptly chuckles. Nods to the door you just walked through. “You can’t handle a girl like that, Harrington. You couldn’t even handle that little mouse you got dumped by. What was her name again?”
Steve rolls his eyes.
“I was walking her to class.”
“Sure you were. If you’re smart, Harrington.. You’ll leave her alone.”
“Maybe you’re the one who should do that, Billy.” and Steve has to check himself, he’s not even sure why he’s getting worked up over it to start with, it’s not like you’re his girl. He doesn’t have any right.
All he knows is that you were in a big hurry to get away from Billy Hargrove not even ten minutes ago and that alone tells him you’re not interested in Billy.
,, And she’s not your girl so this isn’t your business.” his brain reminds, only to have him ignore it because he’s sick and fucking tired of the way Billy’s taken over since his arrival back in October.
He’s not jealous, he’s just annoyed. Irritated.
The guy’s an asshole and everyone seems to flock to that.
Billy chuckles. “That’s not gonna happen, Harrington. You into her or something?” Billy’s taunting him, a menacing gleam in baby blue eyes as he steps just a little closer. “That what this is, Harrington?”
“Nope. I just know for a fact that she was in such a hurry to escape you that she ran into me.” Steve’s standing taller. Studying Billy with an annoyed look on his face and his arms folded over his chest. Billy makes himself taller. Smirks at Steve. “She’s gonna end up with me. I’m pretty good at getting what I want.”
Steve chuckles. Shrugs it off. “Whatever, Hargrove. I really don’t care.”
It’s a lie, he’d rather eat glass before admitting just how much the thought of Billy making yet another girl fall at his feet annoys him, but he’s determined to stick through it.
“Stay away from her, Harrington.” Billy calls out the warning as Steve walks away, not even bothering to stop and look back or challenging him.
Because if it happens, it happens. All he’s currently trying to do is finish out his senior year and graduate. Get on with his life. Nothing matters anymore.
–
You wander into your new house, pausing at the door to slip off your shoes and put down your backpack, slip out of your favorite cardigan and hang it neatly on the coat hanger. You close the door behind you and wander over to your father’s state of the art stereo, turning it on and tuning it to the local rock station you prefer and then from there, you wander into the kitchen, sifting through the mail that’s sat on the counter, discarding everything but your catalogs as you wander over and open the double doors of the fridge.
You’ve just popped the tab on your soda when you hear the doorbell ringing, so you wander back out into the living room, throwing open the front door.
“Girl.. This place is big!” your friend Chloe steps into your house and she’s laughing. Talking a mile a minute about what happened today at your old school. And you’d be listening if it weren’t for the fact that you’re just a little distracted, staring at the house across the street.
Steve Harrington is outside, mowing the lawn. A gray t-shirt thrown around his neck to catch the sweat that’s covering his body in a light sheen.
Chloe realizes you aren’t listening and she goes quiet, her gaze following yours.
“He’s kind of a prettyboy, ___. Like Landon.”
You sigh. Give her a sheepish shrug. “He seems sweet though. He’s in my first class of the day.”
“Speaking of.. How weird is it going to our rival high school?” Chloe asks and you finally manage to shut the front door just so you won’t keep staring across the road at the poor guy. You remind yourself a little firmer this time that guys like Steve will break your heart. Zero hesitation.
Your father’s sports car pulls into the circular brick drive in front of the house and he calls out, “Forgot my plane tickets, champ!”
“On the counter, sir!”
“I’m leaving the Visa with you this time. If you girls wanna go into the city and do a little shopping or you need anything, you know the pin, right?”
“Mhm.”
This is standard. You get the same speech every single time he leaves. You’ve been getting it since the summer your mother died, between 8th grade and 9th. When your father started taking more out of town cases. Higher profile ones that meant he’d be away longer. When he started taking solo vacations because he said he needed time.
He goes in for a hug but it’s not the hugs he gave you when you were a little girl, you haven’t gotten one of those since your mom died either. This is stiff and it’s awkward. You pull away and your eyes settle on his navy colored tie. “Dad.. the tie is wrong. You’re going to throw off the whole suit.”
“Fix it,will ya, princess?”
You fix his tie and he chuckles, glancing from you to your best friend Chloe. “You two don’t have any wild parties.”
And then he’s gone, plane ticket in hand.
Chloe laughs softly. “C’mon. You mentioned this place has a heated pool?”
You laugh. “I did.”
“We can go swim. Teresa and Janey are coming, Janey just had to go home and finish packing her mom for New York.”
“What about Em?”
“She’s gonna no show. And we’re not talking to her right now because oh my god, girl.. Guess who brought her to school this morning?”
“Who?”
“Landon.”
You shrug. “Yeah. I kind of knew that was coming.”
“It blew up at lunch. They were all over each other and we exploded. I mean, there is such a thing as girl code.”
“Chloe, it’s fine. It’s not like I was gonna marry the guy. Besides.. I broke up with him. Remember?”
“Well yeah, but still. She’s dating him not even a week later. You’re our friend. Friends don’t pull that crap.”
You laugh and smile at her. “It was so hard today, I kept looking for you guys in the hallway. I did make one friend. Her name is Robin? She’s taking AP classes, so she’s in a few of my classes with the seniors.”
“You invited her, right?”
“She said she didn’t want to be in the way. Next time though.”
Chloe smiles. “Good.”
Teresa’s mother’s car pulls into the circular drive out front behind where Chloe parked her older sister’s car when she arrived. Teresa gets out on the driver side and Janey gets out of the passenger seat, the two of them arguing loud about Teresa’s driving and you’re laughing as you open the door again to let them in.
“Girl, holy shit. This house is massive.”
“I’m moving in.”
You laugh, hugging your two friends.
Teresa pulls away from the hug. “Did Chloe tell you about Landon and Em? Girl, that’s who he was cheating on you with.”
You wince but it doesn’t hurt like you thought it would, finally knowing the truth. Ultimately, you shrug it off. “It’s whatever, Teresa. I’m over it. It’s not like we were going to get married anyway, I mean.. And honestly, he’s not even that good looking.”
“He’s got balls for a chin.”
You snort, a hand raised to your mouth as you stifle a laugh. “So mean, Teresa.”
“Tessa’s coming too. Mom finally ungrounded her.” Teresa tells you and you laugh. “Unless she gets grounded again.”
“True, you’ve got a point. I can’t believe she thought she’d get away with coming in at 1.”
“Where was she even at?”
“That stupid club in the city? Yeah.. Apparently, Brenda figured out how to score a fake id? She got soooooo wasted. I had to help her up to her room.”
“Wait.. Brenda? Mousy little Brenda? She knows how to score a fake id?” you’re raising a brow because this is surprising.
“Mhm. That one.”
The Mustang Tessa drives pulls to a stop behind the car her twin sister drove and Tessa gets out. “Guess who’s out on parole, bitches!”
She says it so loud that you’re pretty sure Steve’s mother heard her as she got out of her own sports car across the street. Because the woman pauses, looks back at the group of you standing in the open front door of your father’s house and she’s giving you all this look of extreme disdain.
As soon as she’s in the house, Tessa wrinkles her nose. “What the hell was her problem?”
“You know how high on themselves those old money types are, sis.” Teresa laughs. Chloe speaks up. “Her son is hot. I wonder if he has any brothers.. Particularly an older one, y’know me..”
You groan and roll your eyes. And you happen to glance at the house across the street again just in time to see Steve standing in an upstairs window, looking out. You give a little wave and laughing, you turn away, wandering into the house.
“So.. we’re swimming. Right?”
“Duh. I waited for you guys to finally get here so I can test out the heated pool. I ordered pizza too. And Tessa can use her fake id to get us a little something later.” you’re giving the older girl a teasing look and Tessa grumbles, but she finally agrees. “Okay, alright,fine. I better not get in trouble.”
“Girl, nobody in Hawkins knows our mom.”
“Thank God for that.”
All of you make your way up into the room you chose to be yours and you’re taking turns changing into bathing suits in it’s adjoining private bathroom. Janey’s lounging on the bed, flipping through a magazine and you wander over to the big window facing the street, leaning against the glass.
“Hmm.”
“Yeah?” Janey looks up.
“Nothing.”
“Were you creeping on that guy next door?”
You can feel your cheeks burn. “No!”
“Liar!”
“I’m not lying.”
“He’s back.” Janey laughs when you flatten yourself against the wall next to the window and she’s smirking. “Point proven.”
You flip her off.
“Hey, I’m stealing this purple bikini.” Tessa calls out from your walk in closet. You laugh. “Take it. I didn’t like the way it fit. Too much ass.”
“Girl..”
“What? It’s true!”
“If I were a boy, you have no idea.” Teresa is wiggling her brows at you suggestively and you’re laughing and shaking your head.
You grab your favorite bikini, a red top with little white hearts all over it and a purposely mismatched white bottom with little red hearts all over it and you step into your closet to change. Once you’re done changing, you and your friends wander out into the yard, heading towards the back gate.
And across the road, Mrs. Harrington rolls her eyes. “Where on Earth are that girls parents?”
Steve almost chokes on the sip of Sprite he’s taken as he tries not to laugh or respond with something that he knows will get him in serious trouble.
His father rolls his eyes at his mother’s query and turns his attention back to Steve. “The coach called to talk to me today at the firm. Says you’ve been less than enthusiastic at practice lately, son. Harringtons are winners.”
“Yes sir.”
“And you need to talk to that rep from my old college. You’ve got to stop being lazy and putting things off. Slacking will not be tolerated.”
“Sweetie, your father just wants what’s best for you. Is this all because of that little drip? What was her name..” his mother rolls her eyes and turns her attention to the sudden shattering of silence, some rock band playing at full blast from the house across the street.
She rubs her forehead, grumbling in annoyance. “Those people are going to bring down property values.”
Steve clenches his fists. “Don’t you both have a flight to catch soon?”
“We fly out tomorrow. There better not be any girls here while we’re gone.”
“Your mother is right. The last thing you need right now is some little tramp throwing off your focus, kid. You’ve got a big game this Friday. A scout is going to be there. I expect your best effort.”
And Steve goes along with it, nodding his head. But mentally, he’s just reached a point where he’s done. And he doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t want anything his father’s been pushing on him since he was old enough to dribble a ball.
But basketball’s been the only way to get his father’s attention and even an ounce of pride from the man in him. But lately, he’s just reached a point where he doesn’t care. He’s starting to realize that the only time his parents are proud of him happen to be when he’s doing everything they want him to do. It’s as if he’s not allowed anything that might actually make him happy.
They hated Nancy.
They hate it when he goes out or has friends over, they hate anything remotely resembling fun.
“Okay, alright. I will, okay?”
“You’d better. I mean it, son. You’d better start shaping up. High school is almost over, son. It’s time to start growing up. Putting away childish things.”
And Steve can’t take it anymore. He gets up from the table and pushes his chair back into place beneath it forcefully before storming up the stairs.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into that kid but if he doesn’t shape up, I’ll ship him off to the military. That’ll build his character alright. Worked for me.” Steve’s father doesn’t miss a beat, rolling his eyes as the radio in his son’s bedroom kicks on, the sounds of some godawful band filling the house.
Down the table, Steve’s mother glares up at the ceiling. “He was such a sweet little boy. What happened to my sweet little boy? I think it was that frumpy little girl he was so caught up in.. Nancy? Wasn’t that her name? Or was it Nelly?”
Up in his room, Steve grabs his pack of cigarettes, thumping the unopened pack against his palm after he’s opened the window so he doesn’t set off the smoke alarms. Because if he has to take a second more of his parents riding him, he’s going to explode and he knows it.
He flops down in the window seat and leans his head back against the window surround, taking a cigarette out of the pack. And he finds himself glancing across the street to your house. Watching as you and your friends splash around in the heated pool out back. He can hear I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight as it floats across on the night breeze. He chuckles to himself as you try to dive on a massive unicorn float and miss it completely, popping up from beneath the water to splash your friend who is perched on a lounge chair, sipping something out of a wine glass.
As you pull yourself out of the pool and start to walk towards the gate, he quickly drops his gaze, exhaling a plume of smoke out the window and into the night. He’s got his eyes closed, he’s humming along to your radio since apparently, you’re going to let everyone in the neighborhood suffer tonight. Cutting Crew fades to Material Girl by Madonna and his eyes pop open when he hears a hiss coming from the yard below.
He swings his legs so that they’re out the windows as he sits up, gazing down at you.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” you’re smiling, a hand caught in wet and wild hair as you tilt your head and stare up at the way he’s sitting half out his bedroom window. You nod to the cigarette pressed between his lips. “You don’t uh.. Do you have more of those?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I bum one? Please?”
“You smoke?” he raises a brow. You shrug. “Everyone has vices, Steve.”
“Yeah. Hang on.”
“Wait, this will be easier if I just ring the bell and ask for you.” you say it and you’re gone before Steve can coax you out of doing that. He hears you ring the doorbell and he swears to himself, hurrying to shove a few cigarettes in the hollowed out book he usually hides his joints in on the rare occasion that his parents are home. And he wanders down the stairs just as your father has thrown open the door and you’re leaning in the doorway.
“Excuse me sir? Your son is in my class, I.. I kind of need to talk to him. It’s about an assignment.”
From behind Steve’s father, his mother speaks up, cutting her eyes at you. “It’s nearly 9 pm. On a Friday. Somehow I doubt you really want to talk to my son about a class assignment.” as she steps into the foyer of the house.
You can feel the disapproval as it radiates off the woman. But you don’t really care. She reminds you of your old neighbor. Always thinking she’s better than everyone else. Your hand settles on your hip and you flash her a grin. “I’m sorry to bother you so late, ma’am.” and it’s said in your sweetest butter wouldn’t melt of tones. “But I’m trying to catch up. I just moved in.”
“As if the moving truck parked across the street all morning or the construction noises I’ve been subjected to when I happen to be home weren’t obvious.” she’s got her arms folded, she’s looking you up and down and you just know she’s judging you.
And you want to laugh almost immediately.
Because you’re not the one standing around with shoulderpads so ridiculous on a designer blazer and skirt set that you look like a pro linebacker.
You lower the hand caught in your hair. “I can come back.”
“I’ll just go get my son.” Steve’s father gives you this smirk. And it’s similar to Steve’s to a point where you can see exactly where his looks came from, but it’s also different. A little too fake. A little too charming. And it rubs you all sorts of wrong when the man does it.
Steve’s mother is glaring at his father as his father makes his way over to the staircase to yell up for Steve.
You’re relieved when Steve wanders down, and you roll your eyes when his mother immediately stops him and she’s saying something to him in a whisper. You can tell she’s not happy with you being at her door.
It bothers you and amuses you in equal measure.
Steve’s scowling when he walks away from his mom and over to the front door. As he hands you a thick book, he leans in a little. “I think we’re around page 45 in class right now, ___.” he says it with this wink and you nod. “Thank you. I’m sorry to come over so late..” as you laugh softly, giving him this amused little grin.
You’re walking back across the street to get over to your house and take in the pizza that just got delivered when Steve hisses at you to stop from his bedroom window. “Sorry about that. My mom is..” he trails off. You shrug. “Kinda used to it?” you laugh a little. Nod to your house and offer, “If you wanna come over later.. We’re not really doing anything, dude. Just swimming. Tessa’s going to the corner store in a little bit, she’s gonna get some drinks.”
Steve chuckles and shakes his head. “Thanks though. Kind of writing an essay.”
“On a Friday?”
“Yeah.” he laughs quietly. “Why?”
“Nothing.. I mean if I knew your mom’s head wouldn’t explode I’d come over and help.”
“What about your friends though?”
“I mean, unless you’re opposed to having a house full of girls, they’d probably tag along. The offer is open. I mean.. We’re neighbors.” you can feel your face burning and you know you’re fumbling this badly, so you decide it’s time to leave. Go back over to your father’s house and get back to swimming with your friends.
As you wander away and disappear through the back gate, Steve takes a deep breath or two. “Nah..She wasn’t flirting with me.”
He keeps the window open, the sounds of music and laughter competing with REO Speedwagon as it plays quietly on the radio while he attempts a fourth time to come up with an essay that isn’t completely horrible.
And on his smoke breaks, no matter how hard he tries to stay away, he finds himself wandering over to his window. Staring across to yours.
“It’s not gonna happen. And I’m done anyway. Nobody ever stays. Kind of pointless.” he mutters to himself as he lights up his last cigarette and exhales a plume of smoke into the night…
#steve harrington#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x yn#stranger things ● steve harrington#<- my writing ● steve harrington#<- warnings | angsty fluff drama of the high school teen variety ● neighbors au with no sci fi ● mentions of alch + 🍃 and eventual filth#<- see other warnings.#<- female reader warning | characterized ( body parts ● clothing/hair ● personality / rich girl!coquette!neighbor ● petnames#fandom ( stranger things ) ● season ( 2 - forward and au ) ● character ( steve harrington )
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omg I want to know, how were the Napoleon Queer Wars of 2014 like?? 😬
oh lord lol
It's been almost ten years and I still get weird YIKES reaction in my skin when I think about it, or when people in the current Napoleonic corner act a bit like the people from back then. Which is a me issue, and not anyone else's problem. But it is why I don't really engage with anyone from the Napoleonic side of tumblr anymore - too many bad memories and bad taste in my mouth.
Essentially, someone posted the (in)famous Cronin quote re: Napoleon telling Coulaincourt about the Feelings He Gets When Looking At Someone Handsome Friend Shaped. They speculated about queer* implications of this.
--
*necessary disclaimer about modern concepts of sexuality not being applicable to the past yadda yadda yadda. I'm using short hand here, folks. No one needs to jump down my throat.
--
A bunch of the Very Serious History Blogs(tm) came down hard on them being like "you're a fool, absolutely not, Napoleon was Straight(tm)". Someone else replied being like "Well what about That Letter from N to Josie concerning a Certain Tsar of Russia?"
I forget how That Letter was explained away, but it was.
Some name calling nonsense and really aggresive replies where bandied back and forth. People were passive aggresive and mean. People ignored each other then wrote vagueing posts about it. The usual damned foolishness you would expect.
Then someone else referenced that one book whose whole thesis is basically Napoleon was Probably Bi. The book, I will say, isn't great. I'd never recommend it. But it was floating around in the 2014/15 world of Napoleonic Tumblr.
And oh man was the person who suggested it torn to shreds. Eviscerated. It was like watching a train wreck and the by standers decided to lock the doors of the train and not let the passengers off while everything burned.
There were weird spin-off dramas from this nonsense where people got into whether or not being interested in Napoleon made you a war crime sympathizer. (Some things never change on this webbed site.) Messy, messy. Also, utterly dumb.
Anyway - it ended up weirdly boiling down to two sides: Are You A Serious Historian/Take History Seriously(tm) Therefore Anti-Napoleon Possibly Being Something Like Queer Even If Never Acted On versus People Having Fun(tm) on the Internet Who Now Have Their Backs Up and Are Responding Perhaps Unwisely.
There was a third party, which I was part of at that time** (no longer, since I left academia), which was the "We Do Real History As A Day Job, Because We Are In Academia, but Lol Like Hell Would I Think to do Serious History on the Blue Hell Site. I'm Present for Shits and Giggles and Idle Speculation and Chats. Nothing Here is Serious. Everyone Needs To Calm Down and Take Themselves Way Less Seriously." We were a small contingent, to say the least.
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**this is not to say I didn't walk away with egg on my face. Because I did. My comportment wasn't great and it's something I've been trying to be better about ever since.
It's not a time I think anyone save like four Napoleonic-interested blogs can look back on without blame.
--
But yeah - it was a real bad time on here. People were called names and cruel, cruel messages were sent to various and sundry by various and sundry. People deactivated over it. Friendships were literally torched because of it. There was a lot of issues with: "What Is Tone When Jumping On Someone's Post?? We don't know how to gauge it! Are you being mean? Are you being helpful? Who knows!! But you sounded aggresive in your add on and so I had better respond aggressively as well."
All because some people took themselves too seriously and because other people were stupidly mean about something dumb.
If I sometimes come in really strong with five million disclaimers in my napoleon asks/responses, even just the silly, purely speculative ones that no one sensible expects Real Serious History to result from - questions that clearly fall into the camp of shit a friend would ask you at the bar after four pints - things like: "was he queer? do you think he had add/adhd? what do you speculate were mental health issues he may have had?" etc. it's because of this year/year-and-a-half shit show. (And my disclaimers don't always serve their purpose because this is, after all, the Piss on the Poor website and people lack attention to detail when reading. [That said, I'm just as guilty of it as well, so can't point too many fingers.])
anyway, the long and short is that MAN people were very anti-any idea that there might have been an iota of what we would term queerness in Napoleon. And MAN no one can be normal on this site about anything so of course there was unnecessary drama and hurt feelings and bitterness.
May we never repeat this stupid time.
#it's why blocking liberally is your friend!!#No one did that back then and it would have saved a lot of heart ache#napoleon#napoleon bonaparte#napoleonic#ask#reply#anon#the Great Napoleon Queer War of 2014
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It's fascinating how the 2 people Richard disagreed with the most during Mutter drama are now the 2 people he's most affectionate with in public. Schneider and Paul.
Not to say that he's less loving with others, but with those 2 he really goes in for all the hugs, squeezes, and kisses.
Hi 👋🏼
From what we know from interviews, it really did seem to be Paul and Schneider who disagreed with Richard the most during the exhausting Mutter recording - even though the process seemingly took its toll on the whole band. Paul and Schneider mentioned this period in some of their interviews; I must admit, I always have the feeling that Paul is trying to sail around this topic a bit, staying rather vague, while Schneider pretty much is going all in and is very open about the conflict and his opinion about it. Here are two statements of them both:
Schneider in the infamous 'Rock Hard' interview together with Richard from 2004 (Richard really tries to take responsibility in this interview and it's overall a bit painful to read):
'But, starting with "Sensucht", the guitarists began to work at home, using a computer. And when we learned about these passages, there was nothing to add, the music was all ready Guitarists did all the work, and we could not add anything! Moreover, if we wanted to change something in the compositions, the guitarists refused, so they were obsessed with them. [...] we rehearsed as five, without Richard, in the same place, all together. It was great. And then once Richard came back, there was a little tension and one thing lead to another. [...] We reached the limit when it became impossible to mention the name "Richard" without adding an "idiot" or "asshole’ ! It's strange that there were no personal complaints. But as soon as it came to music, Richard was the last person we wanted to listen to. He needed a good lesson! [...] Richard was a wall against which we could not fight.'
Paul in his section of the 'Rock Hard' interview:
Does your statement mean that you had little fun working on 'Mutter'?
Yeah, 'Mutter’ really wasn't that much fun. The famous third album, as the saying goes. There were also personal reasons. After eight or nine years, the balance of power had shifted within the band. It actually happens in every band that Ritchie Blackmore quits because he can't go on with Jon Lord anymore. For years their friction was refreshing for the listeners, but at some point it gets on everyone involved so much that one has to drop out.
But nobody left Rammstein.
No, not that. But we also had gossip and stress between two people because of competence difficulties as well as over- and underestimation. We had to reorient ourselves. It also cracked. But — I knock on wood! — we got through it well, so we could work on the fourth album with fun.
You certainly don't want to mention the names of the two.
Correct. It can happen to anyone, because everyone is unreasonable from time to time.
We don't really know how the relationships between Richard and other members of the band were strained at that time (at least Till seemed to be on somewhat ok terms with him), but for Paul and Schneider we have "proof" that it was hard on them - so it's even more heartwarming to see Richard being cuddly with them! They overcame their difficulties, put a lot of effort in patching things up because the band was important to everyone. And it's nice to witness this in hugs and affection 😌🤍
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I wanted to take the high road; I really did.
First, no one comes here for drama. I know I've contributed to that in the past, but I have learned from it and made a conscious choice to focus on the positive going forward.
Second, the other party has publicly stated that they are coping with serious mental health issues. I'm not a monster. I don't want this person to spiral. I don't want to add to their obvious pain. I thought I'd stay quiet; they'd get bored and move on. Well, that didn't happen, and I'm doubtful it ever will.
Third, I don't share private conversations. Anything you share with me is in confidence, and I expect the same courtesy in return. Even if we're no longer friends. Even if we are enemies. So, even after this person and some of their friends broke that trust with me, I still chose to do the right thing and keep our conversation private. But it's come to the point that I feel they're taking advantage of me being a better person than them, and I'm done.
Jeremeykau's blog was taken down last week. It was taken down because he consistently posted, telling me to kill myself. Wishing that I would die and saying other things that were beyond vile. In fact, they went so far as to link those sentiments to Discord after Tumblr took down numerous posts for violating standards. When they didn't stop, Tumblr took the blog down in its entirety. I'm happy to provide screenshots if needed.
For those who blame me or think the blog was taken down due to fandom drama... I don't work at Tumblr. I don't have friends working for Tumblr. I do not control Tumblr policy. Tumblr does not take down blogs because of drama between users, but they do take them down when someone is posting daily, telling another person to enjoy their s*icide.
For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with this drama. J and I spoke 3 months ago. I made ONE post. ONE. After months of J's "vague" posts, then some not-so-vague ones. It was after one of the latter that I finally responded publicly. My purpose? To say I see you, and I want the shit to stop. I didn't call for anyone to be harassed - in fact - I made it clear I didn't want that. But it wasn't a deterrent and J continued to post shit about me directly or indirectly. I didn't reply. ONE POST. Versus dozens now hundreds of J's.
After some time, a mutual friend told me J wanted to talk, and I was uneasy. I have dealt with people like this in my life, and I know it is a dangerous proposition. I had friends warn me not to. But I chose to give J the benefit of the doubt in hopes that we could work things out. Why? I want to live in peace here, and I wanted J to be able to live in peace here, too. But J doesn't want peace.
I've linked our full conversation below. Feel free to see it for yourself. It's our entire conversation. I redacted when J talked about mental health issues because even if they wish to share those details publicly, it's not for me to do. I'm not about to do that. I also redacted the names of others because they don't deserve to be made public.
See it for yourself. It was a surprisingly pleasant conversation, and J seemed to be as grateful as I was. We worked on apologies together. Together. The only thing I refused to do was gaslight people by saying J never said KY when they had publicly many times. I don't gaslight. Outside of that, J said my apology was "GREAT." We ended by saying we were happy we talked, and if we ever had issues with each other again, we would come to each other and discuss them privately.
I even reached out after to see if J was doing well. Since we had unblocked each other, I could see all posts, and I tell J's mental health was not good. I was honestly worried when they threatened self harm, and I reached out to offer an ear if needed. Foolishly, I actually cared.
There was no response. The next thing I knew, J and a couple friends were back to their campaign against me. They never once came to me to discuss. One of those other friends and I also apologized to each other and said we were happy it was worked out. What changed? I have no idea. I never contacted any of them outside of what you can see here; I never discussed them publicly. As far as I knew, this was dead and buried. But none of them gave me the courtesy of reaching out privately... as J promised to do. Because none of them want this worked out, and they seem to want to subject the entire fandom to it.
Please note in the conversation that J says it was really all J's fault for starting this. That it was done over some petty shit. Where J admits to not being a nice person holding grudges, yet was glad it worked out. I was glad, too, but I was sincere.
And since you're bringing other people into the mix now? I'll just say as eager as she was to reach out to you, I will give her the courtesy of not sharing our story here. I won't share our conversations or the MANY conversations from others in various choices fandoms who had plenty to say about their sins. I'm letting sleeping dogs lie, but if I get bit, I'll bite back.
Look - no one has to like me. You can have the shittiest opinion of me. You can hate my fucking guts, and I honestly don't care. Block me and move the fuck on with your life. But you WILL Not publicly harass me, you WILL not tell me to kill myself and wish death upon me publicly, you will not stalk my blog and present your twisted version of the truth non-stop and think I'm going to take it. I hate that I've probably fed J's narc supply for months with this. I literally hate it. But to be honest, this isn't for J - it's for transparency in the fandom. You can all see how "horribly" I behaved here and you can see who violated the pact we made to be kind and decent to each other. It was not me.
If I have hurt anyone other than the three people involved in this - please reach out to me. I am happy to talk to you, happy to listen, and will apologize if I hurt you. I assure you, it was never my intent and I am as flawed as anyone else. Could I make mistakes? Of course. But if you think I'm going to apologize to vile bullies, my grace towards them has long expired.
I AM ADAMANTLY TELLING EVERYONE NOT TO SEND HATE THEIR WAY. But to be clear, I don't control anyone but myself. Some in the fandom think I have the magic ability to control people. It's about time to take responsibility for YOUR actions. You don't get hate because of me; you get hate because of your behavior. If anons get that bad, turn them off. The same way I have had to BECAUSE OF YOU. It's a 2-way street - and I HAVE NOT had an ongoing campaign against you for damn near a year. ONE POST. And I have not had my blog taken down because I've never done to you what you've done to me. This has gone on long enough.
FULL CONVERSATION
Have at it.
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The story in star rail was very strange this patch too. I don't understand what they were going for? I thought the lore was cool whenever we got info lol. But everything was too vague?
yeah i don't personally care about any hsr lore that isn't nanook's huge bleeding titties. i think they were trying to do liyeu thing where they don't spell out all ancient history, instead having you learn in small tidbits and descriptions. but like. first, liyue archon quest was self-contained. you could miss dimension of it relating to rex lapis history and guizhong, but the plot itself is very straightforward, you know everyone involved and understand their motivations. childe is russian terrorist who wants to get the gnosis and summons evil god to provoke rex lapis, adepti are friends of rex lapis who want to stop him, ning is a new government who seemed fishy at first, but turned out she's great. you don't need to understand all of the adepti inter-personal drama to get the gist or know childe's backstory or anything, guizhong ballista works as a plot beat without knowing who guizhong was and learning about her later only adds depth to already functioning story.
in hsr its like. i have no idea why anyone is doing anything. the giant destruction woman was possessing fox girl to???? make a tree deer??? for??? uh??? idk??? blade wants to kill dan heng because???? and he is making crazy faces at jing yuan, but doesn't want to kill him i think??? dan heng gets redemption for his crimes, which are?????????? luocha and jing yuan's old mentor is here being shady because?????? like i think they were all friends before???? maybe??
bc i don't understand what the fuck is going on, i can't bring myself to care about the story, and the character beats fall flat too. like wow dan heng is a secret dragon who needs to atone for his crimes, but bc i knew him for like. 2 patches where he said or did nothing. and i have no idea what he's atoning for, this redemption just doesn't matter to me. imagine if you watched scara fight his giant robot form and get the anemo vision without playing sumeru archon quest first. its like, ok cool cutscene i guess? congrats or sorry for your loss, i have no idea bro
second, the whole players are supposed to learn lore from small tidbits from descriptions thing. which is bad enough in genshin. but like. at least you can learn about guizhong just by doing exploration, which is main gameplay of genshin. in hsr there is no exploration and like. apparently i was supposed to learn about some super important fox lady from reading EXPEDITIONS DESCRIPTION, and then like making connection that its a dead friend of blade and dan heng and the reason for this whole mess between them somehow??? bruh. bruh. be for real.
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Inspired by the wonderful work of Tuna, and prince fyo and the numerous contributions of 🌺 with this ask and this ask + 🩹 ask
Links bc tumblr nerfted this once:
For prince fyo: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/716304129101905920/ik-the-royal-au-is-my-ida-but-i-wanna-hear-more-of
🌺 1: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/715673822625513472/im-the-possibilities-are-endlessss-like-at-first
🌺 2: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/715545715174146048/this-is-not-a-request-but-like-im-rambling-my
dazai 🩹: https://www.tumblr.com/spacexseven/716312685221920768/tuna-tuna-princes-and-knights-you-are
Excellent Pieces and excerpts from the first fic:
“the maids that giggle about how weak he looks. even the other nobles don't hide their insults, spreading rumours that tarnish his reputation and drag his name through the mud though they knew nothing about him.”
“ as far as you're concerned, his highness prefers working from the shadows. he isn't as popular as the other princes, nor does he have any offensive skills to show—his influence is weak and his demeanor mild.”
“ He liked watching you leap up and put your life before his, even if the slightest scratch you received in return would lead to the complete annihilation of the person who planned the attack.”
“ He liked knowing that you had already dedicated your life to serving him. and if letting you believe he was weak would mean you coddled him even a little more, he didn't mind keeping up the appearances for a little longer.
“ but the charade had to end someday, and as he observed the look of admiration and surprise from you, who was witnessing him for his true nature,”
🦄: Okay! so this was a major inspiration for the rumors section of royal au. I liked the idea of rumors both by the public and more fabrication for power. I took some of the ideas presented in this concept fic and Used them for the au, especially with the Dazai and Fyodor section. Most of the princes have some drama in their lives and are considered black sheeps by the royal court of the kingdom. Fyodor was and still is one of the most ominous and dangerous of the princes, but he isn’t omniscient. The plan for “this” Fyodor is vague because I wanted to make space for any future installments or ideas expanding by anyone who wishes to add more thoughts to this au (feel free anybody!). However, something that was previously done in the drafts of the aus was him not being completely human (as the rumours say). The finished piece i sent you was running with idea that Fyodor might’ve be a homunculus of some kind, similar to Albedo (Genshin Impact) or a clone situation like Chuuya (underrated aspect of his lore) — or the fact that Fyodor might be a regressor or a transmigrator like Sigma. I also thought briefly in older drafts that Fyodor was a demon king who died and reincarnated every hundred years to attempt and restore his glory but fails as he get thwarted by a holy knight, but I didn’t want to put the Knight Darling into the ringer (Dazai does that for me).
on the princes:
🐟: chuuya my beloved :( cannot believe darling killed him bfr!! and the fact that he was genuinely trying to warn them about dazai </3 chuuya feels a lot more human than the others (ironic bcs of the 'imposter' rumors lol) but i cant help but wonder how different things would have been if darling followed chuuya instead of dazai…
okay so first: “ chuuya feels a lot more human than the others ” — YES! Thank you, this was on purpose and I'm glad I was able to properly showcase it. Chuuya is the most human and down to earth out of all the unhinged princes, but he still has red flags that don’t get shown because he dies early on in most timelines for being a slightly better human.
however, In some early drafts: “Chuuya is pretty to look at, and you wouldn’t have minded waking up next him if you didn’t know about the rotting lookalikes that lay chained to the chamber’s of his manor.” Uncanny valley “Chuuya.” my beloved + Draft! Dazai: “It’s a nightmare that you live between both reality and delusion. You lead each fair maiden and gentleman — sacrifices — into the maze and watchas Dazai lets the chain go off Akutagawa. The screams that follow always haunt you as you close your eyes”. The og drafts had awful royalty dazai that hunted people for sport since some of those “rumors” held some truth + plus cursed! aku. As you know by the previous answer, Fyodor has also gone through multiple different ideas, but frankly just thinking about an ambitious, always wanting and scheming human Fyodor is already enough nightmare fuel as it is.
Okay, So if darling followed Chuuya, Darling would end up dying. Chuuya is cursed by “something” that actually consumes anybody that takes the place of a “lover” by chuuya sides. As long as Chuuya doesn’t think about anybody as a “lover” the curse won’t affect them, but the moment Chuuya falls in love and starts fantasizing about Darling it always ends up with them dead. Rip Darling. Because of this, Darling never really gets to be a personal knight to Chuuya via Sigma intercepting and making sure Darling at least gets to live for a couple of more years.
Sigma is always working around this, and at the knight pledge event chuuya was out because his winery had been spiked and burglarized. Sigma is a good prince who’s acting like a guardian angel for Darling. So Darling would probably go for it (50 - a no for guilt of the past, but 50 - for yes for redemption) but it’s unlikely since Sigma will do anything to ensure darling’s survival. Sigma is always in bcakground, stressing and gathering more trauma with each loop he fails.
And yes, this the curse is somewhat of an open secret, and Dazai did have Chuuya Killed off partially because of this. He noticed Chuuya Attraction towards what is “his” and didn’t need the danger attached to it to possibly harm darling so chuuya had to go. (and if that information came from a certain jester attached to the hip of the fourth prince — well, he merely heard it from someone who told someone else about the rumours)
Chuuya was also aware of the possibility of a fellow “imposter” but didn’t know which prince it came from. All the princes have suspicious and secretive origins. Chuuya was searching for a fellow “outsider” as he saw himself be. rip chuuya. however, he is pretty unhinged later on when he gets to live longer.
🐟 : I love prince dazai :((( even if hes a little bit scummy i adore him and his terrible ways <3 love the idea of him picking out a weapon for darling and engraving his name onto it before giving it to them like a constant reminder of whose grace they're under ahh the thought of him avenging everyone who hurt darling even after their death is soo yummy loosing his mind bc the guilt and the way he failed to save you is eating him up. (also the line; a different monster will lead you astray is soo mmmm)
Thank you! I genuinely had a lot fun writing for the Dazai part, lowkey got converted to the Dazai base via 🩹 and their dazai asks. They really fueled a lot of Dazai’s character when I went to look back to see how Dazai would act and behave. You mentioned how Dazai would feel about breaking his darling, and even if in this au Dazai is slightly Yan (more scummy and unhinged than full yan (for now)) that did inspire me to make him the “first love that betrayed” trope in typical manhwa otome isekai. Chuuya would contrast him by being the “green flag” of the duo. The collar asks also came into play because I was super duper close to writing Dazai collaring the Knight as a sign of ownership before backpedaling into a dagger. I’m a coward Tuna. I love it when in media Lovers use or push away their beloveds and lose their mind when said beloved dies by their accidental plans backfiring or going the wrong way than what they expected. its so good watching them lose their minds be it self destructing or destroying everyone else.
And yeah: a different monster will lead you astray - I loved that line and i had to rewrite some aspects of the au to fit it! im glad it stood out of you too!!
🐟: i love the comparison of fyodor and dazai, how darling 'chooses' fyodor this time bc they see dazai in him...also very curious that his death was overwritten in their memory hmm i wonder why. i think maybe the fact that fyodor was weak and seemingly defenseless except for his words and his charm, unlike dazai who always seemed to be dangerous to everyone, was what ultimately attracted darling this time? maybe they want to believe he would need them more than dazai did, and wouldn't betray them after all?
Yes! Darling likes feeling needed. They also were looking for someone they deemed as good natured (🫠 yeah…) and they found it within Fyodor. However Darling is very unreliable and actually went with Fyodor because he’s filled with rumors to brim like Dazai and is unconsciously searching for pieces of Dazai in anothers and immediately ignores the red flags and pledges their loyalty and support to Fyodor. They know deep down that it’s their past going to repeat itself but it feels familiar and so much like dazai. They need to feel like they won’t be thrown away and Fyodor doesn’t have as many allies or any true allies that have enough political or physical power, so maybe Fyodor will hesitate with throwing them away unlike Dazai.
(Darling is really going through it. They have abandonment and trust issues.)
Fyodor and Darling are using each other and exploiting their weakness but it's also depressing because they’re getting closer to each other than anyone else before (rip sigma). Fyodor likes the fact that Darling needs him and depends on him. He starts leaving some blindspots open because he knows Darling will cover them. There was a situation in which darling got poisoned and all hell broke loose. Darling doesn’t recall this as they were astral proejecting via poison, but they remember a “weird dream” where fyodor was nursing them back to health before an odd jester would come at night and babble about a life in “Yokohama?” 👀
Fyodor killed the og “sigma” because he was useless and cruel, someone who was unnecessary and incompetent in every manner. In return by sacrificing the soul of the crown prince, he would get “an all powerful and amazing ally that would bring anybody to their knees.”
and… he got sigma.
anyway to mister sad isekai himself!
🐟: i love love love prince sigma. seriously he'd be pretty good at it, with his dedication to his post, if not because of his general insecurities. i wonder who's really pulling the strings here, fyodor, nikolai or someone else? im really curious about nikolai's part in all this...sigma realizing he and darling are connected by fate and death and all else is insane!! makes for a great development. because now not only does his life (and return to life) depend on them, it's in his best interest to keep them by his side. seeing them work for fyodor hardly eases his mind, however, because he knows the fourth prince has something else planned, and maybe he already is aware of sigma's connection to darling...?
Crown prince sigma is one of my faves in this au. He’s very dedicated and attempts to be somewhat of a neutral party as the crown prince and avoiding conflict with his rival princes.
THEY ARE (somewhat unfortunate) SOULMATES!!! Sigma is doing his best while navigating his whole isekai life experience and is going through it x100 because the one person he loves can’t stay alive. It doesn’t help in some timelines darling manages to get hitched be it the princes or some randoms (see: ex-prince candidate and former archduke turned scholar fukuzawa, scholar apprentice ranpo, rival scholar and poet poe, investing nobleman fitzgerald, ex-prince candidate and wandering plague doctor yosano, royal detective and ex-consort candidate ayatsuji, consort candidate tsujimura, Poet and court lady Kouyou, commoner turned errand boy atsushi, that one weirdo novelist conman who disappears and makes really weird face (sigma got conned by oguri in a timeline and keeps a grudge and it grows worse when you and oguri get together), and the list keeps going on and on. darling is a popular suitor who pulls people in by their whimsical and depressing hopeful desperation for a place to belong and feel needed in.)
Sigma does keep knight darling close and he struggles with reputation since his memory grows fuzzy with each timeline that keeps happening. Is he the hated crown prince or the glorious king? Sigma doesn’t know.
Darling did ran away only once with Sigma. It was the quickest death for both because all that sigma remembers was a coat and booming laughter turned into anguish sobbing.
and now, drumming sound: about our dear jester and favorite clown man, Nikolai knows more about the time shenanigans than Fyodor. and from all the little bits and pieces i have been throwing around in here, you can already tell that Nikolai isn’t a good person in this cursed au.
He isn’t happy about it, but Nikolai personally kills knight darling in all the timelines. He won’t allow it to be done by any other hand, it has to be his own hands that take their life. so why does he kill darling? because darling is his sk darling and can’t stand a life where they’re “confined” to another.
yeah, buckle up because its gonna get weird. my brain likes making everything complicated and nonsensical.
Nikolai recalls a life where he fell in love with a serial killer. In this life, their relationship in a city, yokohama, and culture and jobs are different. He is happy and free with his beloved. He even has a dos-kun! Happy, happy, happy! He can’t recall how it happend, but sk darling dies, and then Nikolai dies. his memories blur after that. he can’t remember anything after sk reader’s death.
He’s reborn in a world where only the powerful get chosen and rule.
The original crown prince candidate that stepped down to become a mere royal jester. oh the drama! His name is forgotten, only to be linked back to a jester and few nobles who share bare minimum of similarities. The suprise he feels is all to real when he meets a baby version of prince fyodor. It hit it off like always and it all comes coming down when that prophet comes into his life.
A prophet, who only appeared in the original and first timeline because Nikolai is always careful with making sure in snapping his neck before he can arrive to the palace and utter those cursed words.
“A knight born on the day of origin of the kingdom with the past of hunter will lead the kingdom and the future king to prosperity as long they blossom by the side of their true king. the world will wither and break if the tyrant king takes the throne.”
Among the hundreds of people and millions of citizens, only one person who was found to have signed up to be knight. Among the thousands of people it could’ve been it had to be his beloved.
The look that Fyodor gave him when Nikolai fell to knees and laughed like madman is one that Nikolai will never forget — especially the confused and scared look that darling had which contrasted and rivaled the annoyed, confused, and slight murderous look that all the other princes had.
It was a bloodbath and the worst timeline. His darling was treated more like a prize than a person and watching them wither away, killed something inside him. It was awful to watch darling lose their freedom and be confined to a place to ensure they keep the prophecy into the “proper road.” lest it becomes a tragedy. They take darling’s freedom away and with it, something breaks inside their mind and something else stirs inside. something awfully familiar. However this Nikolai is kinder and even has a far better sense of “morals” as this Dos-kun comments. So, naturally he does his best to save his beloved even if it always end in futile death. People grow desprate when they’re cornered and neither darling, nor Nikolai are any different than them.
It ends with Nikolai holding you each night as you weep miserably for him to end it all. Eventually, the treatment of being seen as a prize and tool for the princes and members of the court take their toll on you, and you simply stop talking.
In another world, Nikolai committed many, many awful crimes, and who would ever say that Nikolai can’t simply do it again? nobody. And so nikolai drowns himself in red and magic that resembles his old ability.
(what nobody else but Nikolai knows in the distant future: Every time darling wakes up from their dreams, they feel less hopeful for something. they notice the way people move, speak, and sometimes they feel so vex for magic users who are simply so.. so, so, so boring! they have abilities why do aren’t being creative with them?)
It didn’t matter how hard he tried but his plans always seemed to fail even with outside help.
In the original timeline that his darling lived: the world ends with a familiar grin painted on their face, even the kindest and most patient of people grow tired and apathetic into brutality after facing so much. they dance together as the world gets destroy and Nikolai wakes up once again.
and again. again. again. againagain-
it’s rather easy for someone already toeing the line between delusions and reality to lose their minds when they’re stuck in a bizarre time loop.
Nikolai isn’t sure what is causing the time loop, but he is aware that only he is able to properly recall it. until he arrives of course.
The he bumbling, buffoon, arrogant, and downright idiotic crown prince sigma is trying his best. an anomaly is occuring and Nikolai is losing it. He tried everything. he’s killed the princes. destroyed the kingdom. cursed the kingdom. saved the kingdom. acted as the king. married his darling, and yet everyone still dies no matter what he does.
Sigma remembers too. His darling is remembering as well, but it’s different. Instead of standing by Nikolai side… darling always seems to be pulled by sigma, and that is perhaps the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.
This Sigma who almost broke and brought back some sort of relief to darling, but it wasn’t him. it wasn’t nikolai who was next you.
(why can’t they see that he’s saving from the awful imprisonment that has been placed on them? they’re so caged into a loop that doesn’t change no matter what they do. and even if does change if darling gets with sigma, Nikolai can’t and won’t accept that. it wasnt love at first sight the first life and neither in the second one, but they eventually got there, didn’t they? So in this 100000th life Nikolai will make sure the two you get the proper life you both deserve)
I’m sorry if this all confusing.
and to explain the whole drafting idea, ahhhhhh here: okay to explain just how unhinged and confusing this au became i give you the backstory that came into existence via your birthday in 2 hours and 34 minutes.
This is an unhinged au because it’s actually an sk au in disguised, and i throw you the utter nonsense this au started off with: originally an ability user got the dropped on sk reader and some of their suitors and they woke up in a hazy like dream world where they played out the storyline. This idea then spinned out of control into an isekai au with sigma dying via getting murdered by sk reader and nikolai (they were on a date) and sigma waking up in a parallel universe. It got more derailed into a sigma isekai horror plot with an omniscient nikolai who remembers all the timeline and is attempting to bring back his “darling” (see: sk reader) via terrible time loops and mind breaking them. Something about soul swaps and sacrificed people with a literal devil! Nikolai and an uncanny valley, not human, creature being reborn into prince! fyodor. It was meant for more horror and yan centric, but I also wanted more mushy and fluffy vibes (wow wasn’t fluffy through the angst??/joking) so i decided to give more redemption and background to the characters instead of having a purely outsider horror pov.
so does draft! nikolai kill darling for them to “turn” into sk darling?? yeah kinda but nikolai also loves this kinder aspect of darling so he conflicted and mourning it. and then it went into the world end and darling having to meet their proper soulmate to save the world, but nikolai doesn’t believe in soulmates but im freedom and choice.
this au spiral from the first idea into multiple different aus in a matter of minutes since i wanted to give you something fresh and new instead of any of my backlog stories or unfinished wips for your birthday. It literally got out of control and I had to revise and rewrite until I found it worthy enough to get sent out as a present for you.
None of my ideas are though out. i think about i once and write before putting it in my notes and never checking about it in months. I think you’re far better about this than me. most of my things are wips. we’re both doing our best and wishing you luck and happy days to come!
my brain is a little hamster ball that spins and ends up everywhere and anywhere.
I’m so so sorry Tuna about me rambling in the ask box. I just had a really wacky and fun time writing this concept for you - 🦄 (Tumblr pls don’t nerf this)
you know the first time i tried answering this my laptop crashed and because of that i will be trying to keep this reply concise TT i think it may be the size that it couldn't handle </3
quickly before we start. i need to take a moment and say Wow because this is 3k words in an askbox and if that number isn't surreal i think the fact that you took almost 3 hours for the original ask is?!?! absolutely insane. that is an astounding amount of dedication and i suddenly feel a little shy and i wish words could encapsulate how much joy this brought me. (after all, i am a reader before a writer, and who doesn't enjoy getting to see such wonderful ideas?) so much respect to you and thank you so so much, really. it's amazing to see what you have and i'm really so honored to be able to see and respond to it like this :)
fyodor lore...i think regressor fyodor may work, in which case i believe he will be the first to realize that he's not the only one who remembers his past lives. maybe this could work into why he's so involved with sigma and darling, despite them not having any reason to be connected w each other. it must be irritating to know that both sigma and darling play a role in his plans, because they become an unpredictable variable now. sigma, at least, remembers a lot of his deaths and lives, so the only way fyodor can rein him in is by keeping a close eye on him.
darling is an anomaly, though, since they don't appear to remember more than the first life with dazai. based on sigma's Many deaths, I'd suppose there are more where darling has experienced, but can't remember, for some reason or another. i'm inclined to believe a certain prince with an affinity for magic may have something to do with that, or perhaps it's the new court jester whose gaze doesn't seem to leave darling...except, that's not even their first life, is it? they've probably lived a hundred more without knowing. which is crazy...
i like to think there was a life where darling stayed by fyodor's side forever, but even as he achieved his plans and became king, there's nothing that changes. he just wakes up to see darling in their ordinary uniform with their ordinary weapon, and no sign of the sword he gave them, but the hope that he could win them over again is all he needs to try again. maybe the memories linger, and sometimes darling walks past fyodor's room only to suddenly remember a time when they were knelt by fyodor's bedside and huh? when did that happen?
the cursed aku thing reminded me of the minotaur story </3 poor aku i'll save you </3 (adds him to the list of Characters I Will Save)
chuuya's curse is...interesting. i doubt he'd be able to live long with a curse like his, because how does he know it only kills a lover he has? what if he believed it may kill anyone by his side? so, if there's any one who doesn't die, he might begin to believe that they aren't entirely loyal to him, hence why they weren't dead yet. eventually the loneliness and paranoia gets to him and he's just destined for a tragic end either way. the greatest mercy for him is a death before he learns the true extent of his curse. but chuuya is really clever, so i guess it's inevitable that he does realize what his curse is. either way, it's a miserable existence. :(
because fyodor easily views everyone else as pawns, i don't think he'll be so upset at the idea of darling using him to satisfy whatever feelings they have. maybe they hope to learn why dazai betrayed them by working with fyodor, if only to satiate their own curiosity. it doesn't matter, anyway, because fyodor ensures that once darling takes the pledge to put fyodor's life before theirs, they would only have eyes for him.
(and… he got sigma. i'm crying about this line. come on fyodor, it doesn't get better than sigma :>)
omg...sigma...all his lives are angst-coded. him having to watch his literal soulmate fall in love with some less than favorable people (but it's worse when darling falls for the actual good ones, the ones he knows will keep darling happy. it hurts because he knows he can never give darling that content lifetime with no worries about crazy jesters and cunning princes). at the very least, he hopes to break the curse so at least one of you could be happy.
ultimately his role has always been for another; a replacement for the previous crown prince, a pawn for fyodor, and now, he exists as darling's counterpart in this strange revival/death thing, but he doesn't really mind when it concerns them. for once, he plays the role of the protector, of the one in charge, and they aren't privy to his plans. and he knows his intentions are pure, his role in their life will always be of their own benefactor. he's the one who makes sure they don't go hungry in the lives they're imprisoned or banished, and he's the one who ensures darling and their partner live well in the lives they leave the palace. he's the one who stops them from getting too close to chuuya, and tries to ward off fyodor's watchful gaze (unaware of his knowledge), and desperately attempts to keep nikolai away. but after all this, he cannot ask them to pledge their life to him, not after knowing the cruel end darling will face by doing so.
this nikolai twist is Insane. Like woahhh where do i go from here?!
i think nikolai carries a lot of resentment at himself (and the world) because of how his life w sk darling ended. why didn't he save them? why did he end up here? how did things turn out this way? and he's more infuriated that the once free and unreadable soul, bloodstained and calculating, that lured him in and trapped him all those years ago became...this other person, this foolish, compassionate knight of all things. it's quite ironic. darling still kills now, but not because they can, not because they want to, only because they have to for whichever pathetic prince they've decided to serve.
and it's horrible because here, darling has never done anything to warrant such a cruel fate, but they've been subjected to a painful life as long as the stupid prophecy exists. he wonders, bitterly, if this is their past catching up with them, punishment for a crime they don't even remember committing.
but as the lives turn by and everyone takes notice of darling, nikolai finds himself starting to learn more about them, too. he learns that their eyes burn with the same silent fury when anything irritates them, that their lips curl in the same way when they notice something amusing, and that they're still just as dedicated to their work, whether it be murder or serving a prince. and i think. nikolai feels some guilt for starting to like knight darling, who's more compassionate/warm than the original sk reader. maybe he feels like he's betraying them by doing so, because he may have 'reverted' back to his 'original' state, but darling is entirely different where it matters. this darling doesn't understand his ideas and thoughts, they would never approve of his crimes, and worst of all, they don't even care for him.
not once in their many lives did they spare him more than a single glance, except when he killed them to reset the timeline. and each time, they looked at him like they didn't understand, like they couldn't recognize him. but when sigma came in and started helping, darling recalled those moments. even when serving fyodor, they seemed to remember their past. but not with nikolai.
he's not sure what's worse; falling for someone who will never understand him, or having someone not even remember a single moment after spending thousands of lives together.
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so something that I've been chewing on is how the dynamics of the Dance would have changed of Rhaenyra had been a son. Rhaenyrion, if you will (rhaenys/Balerion) I kinda realized that this concept is sort of explored already, with Daeron and Daemon down the line with the Blackfyres.
The thing is is that Rhaenyrion would still have quite a bit of beef with Alicent, tho there probably would be way more issues with Viserys insisting on remarrying the one chick that wants her own son to sit on the throne, so this would probably end up with some similarities to harem dramas (wives of the father against other sons that aren't theirs.) I suspect that in this au, Rhaenyrion would be far more assertive due to being an assured crown prince, (except daeron was an assured crown prince and still had to fight for his position), except Alicent would probably still make this boys life as miserable as she can
I'm guessing that in this au Rhaenyrion is married to Laena Valaryon automatically, but what would really be insane (because realistically they would have true born kids, but I also personally want the bastard allegations to happen because grrm didn't put that there for free) is if Rhaenyrion straight up fucking adopts kids as he likes. I mean realistically he can also have his own bastards and keep them as his own, maybe Laena doesn't fucking like him cause she's gay or cuckholds him with Daemons twins Baela and Rhaena, which would really warp the hell out of the family blood tree.
I do like the adoption thing too much because one, Romans, two, adoption isnt something explored in asoiaf. To the point that it doesn't seem like an option. It's either let the kid live with you unofficially or legalize them as your heir if their your bastard. Also if they wore adopted this would throw a lot of fuel to the greens because how could Rhaenyrion adopt his sons of vague origins and make one Viserys's gods-damned heir to the throne? Against decency, this is.
( I am aware that that option is borderline too crazy. Realistically, if we ignore the most realistic option, Rhaenyrion would just bring his bastard sons home and say they're his and Laena's ignore the logistics fuck you Im the crown prince this is my son his name is Jacaerys Targaryen.)
Probably in this au that I am cooking all over your asks Aegon and Viserys would be Daemon's bastards, graciously fostered by Rhaenyrion and Laena on dragon stone. How the fuck does Daemon's sons get the throne after Aegon II, I have no idea, but as I pick through the mush of this au, the only justification i got is that grrm's "the laws of inheritance were vague at best and when push came to shove people dp what ever they fucking want regardless." (Misquoted but basically what he said). Unless Damon has two shotgun weddings that were scandalous but legit enough in the short term. Especially since Rhaenyrion would probably designate Aegon as his heir when All the other boys are gone.
Pretty much the major thing that Rhaenyrion and Rhaenyra would share is how they make their own family. It's just that Rhaenyrion would be seen as much more insane then Rhaenyra would be. Rhaenyrion be making "promise me, Rhae" level promises to Laena over protecting her daughters and the mother of his sons and Daemon's sons.
The major thing however, in this au is that the greens would be super major usurpers all the way, since they don't have the women can't ascend the iron throne argument, and their main argument is just, Rhaenyrion has done scandal after scandal jow can we have that guy as our king? And said scandals are just, guy loves his kids and gives the greens middle fingers every time he sees them. Which would just highlight the greed of the greens big time.
Unless we go so far as to make Rhaenyrion Bisexual and unapologetic about it. Which adds more fuel to the fire since the Greens are pro Faith of the Seven.
In the case of the war probably the greens would be significantly more on the offensive early on. Like you thought Aemond was bad in canon hed probably try to torch the Erie in addition to the RiverLands.
Actually I just realized that since Laena fucking dies (don't want her to but she dies) the Driftmark episode would be so much fucking worse. Especially because...yeah this is a Rhaenyrion/Laena/Deamon poly situation Vaemond would be downright suicidal to be making comments on her funeral speech when both her gods-damned lovers who are Princes are right fucking there. And then you also have the fact that Aemond claims Vhagar, who belonged to Rhaenyrion's Just Buried Wife, the Night After Said Wife's Funeral, and then proceeds to Insult the Crown Princes Sons and Attack Them To the Point Of Said sons Needing Self Defense...Aemond got some serious balls in this au.
Also Alicent demanding Lucerys's eye and then rushing to Attack Lucerys and Rhaenryion would be fucking more insane then in the show, (considering that the show doesn't fucking get into a fraction of the realistic implications of that). Just saying that realistically, someone is going to die in this au at this moment. And it can't be Laenor since he's cool and is also the current heir. Unless of course, Viserys forbids punshment for either Aemond or Alicent which furthers the divide.
I think that if Rhaenyra was male he would not have been experiencing quite the level of casual disrespect as an adult. that happens in canon tho I did just write out why people would find him distasteful, after all, people both like and were greatly annoyed by Roberts Baratheon's whoring and drinking and they still payed him respect.
In summary of the previous shit, which I made up as I went along, in an au where Rhaenyra was male, Viserys still married Alicent, Alicent bullies and tears down Rhaenyrion as much as possible before said prince comes to a banquet with an all black suit and starts living it up by developing a martial rivalry with Criston Cole which pisses him off and being mentored by Daemon and vibing with the common people via the taverns and brothels, and hanging out with Harwin Strong and is living his best bi life is a more chill prince of the city with his beloved dragon Syrax and ends up marrying Laena Valaryon except she really really likes Daemon too and Rhaenyrion is like, damn, did I ever mentioned that i have, a very, very close friend, and she kinda asked me to promise her a major promise, Like a Promise Me, Ned type promise. And Laena's like, who the fuck is Ned. Because she has twins and Rhaenyrion is like, I gave you two freebies can I have two freebies psyche it's three because Laenor loved the last one so much.
Obviously Corlys and Rhaenys hate this sht so much but at least Laenor is alive and Laenor and Laena both want Lucerys and Baela and and Rhaenys to stay and be recognized in the family and anyone of them can be Laenor's heir and Rhaenyrion is saying me and Laena talked about it and maybe (since Alicent would rather marry a sweet girl off to fucking Aegon than my beautiful boy Jaceaerys) perhaps, Baela will be queen? Anyway a major family discussion goes down behind closed doors and Corlys just lives the rest of his life wondering why the fuck his daughter and son like fucking Targaryens so fucking much (hypocrite)
And Rhaenyrion and Laena and Daemon have a pretty good polycule going down in dragonstone and when Daemon comes back with his own "legitimate" -wink wink nudge nudge cue Otto about to have an aneurysm and Alicent getting ready to spread bitch ass rumours again - sons Rhaenyrion is like Yay more babies let me cuddle them Daemon it's my castle let me cuddle them.
And then Laena dies and Driftmark goes down and someone was 2000% going to fucking die except Viserys decided to be a long at the worst possible moment and so the Blacks go back to Dragonstone and the Greens back to Kingslanding.
And then Vaemond decides to be a little bitch (I don't know if in this au he'd straight up murder Laenor who had already desingated Rhaena and Lucerys as his heirs anyway or if hed just whine to the iron throne that this whole choosing your own heir is fucking stupid and is going against traditional law but Daemon, or Rhaenyrion, kill his ass when he calls Rhaenryions sons bastards.
The last supper thing is significantly more fucking awkward because no way in fucking hell would Alicent imply that Rhaenyrion would follow Viserys.
The main question here is how Visenya fits in this, because one, men are also capable of feeling pain over miscarriages, and also, to really temper Rhaenyrions grief and rage over the usurpers. However the only way this would happen is if he had a paramour living on dragon stone, and if he heard the news, lashed out, and was the main reason said hypothetical paramour goes into labor and stillbirth. And in typical fashion, blames the greens for what is technically his fault. But it also keeps him focused of the loss of a child that he very clearly wanted, while Daemon is doing other things, like securing Dragonstone and checking the children and grieving. But yeah he blames the greens saying that they murdered his daughter.
I think I just constructed a guy that just, really really loves his children a bit more unabashedly then Rhaenyra does. He experiences more privileges than Rhaenyra does on canon but also is like, insanely progressive as fuck for his story because, the only thing that matters is the monarch choosing their heir and Rhaenyrion took that concept to eleven. Which pissed off a lot of people but still.
There would be just a touch, a smidge, of major ass tension because people wonder is Rhaenyrion or Daemon the new king before Rhaenyrion is like oh come off it and breaks the tension. Daemon crowns his nephew obviously.
Anyway the dance goes down as it does and Rhaenyrion is remembered as that insane prince that passed off his bastards as legitimate.
Okay realistically if Rhaenyrion was real he'd probably be way smarter and a bit more capable and probably would be a year king and the dance may have taken place earlier than it did. It would be debatable if he had children or not in this au since the conflict would take place sooner tho without a doubt he is being married to Laena and it is possible that he may live longer and that Aegon II is mostly remembered as Aegon the Usurper than II. Especially because Rhaenyrion is totally going to be somewhat of a warrior if he was a guy. So he would be on the battlefield . And he'd probably have more tension with Daemon (the measuring dicks posturing kind, not the sexy kind) but i think Daemon would stick by his nephew as he did with his niece.
Also there's a good chance that Rhaenyrion would have been mentored and supported by Daemon way more because no doubt that Alicent would still bully and antagonize the shit out of Rhaenyrion but at least Rhaenyrion would have more support and been further away from Alicent then Rhaenyra got to be.
The dance potentially not changing even if Rhaenyra was Rhaenyrion just proves that the greens and everyone who supported them did for self serving ends and for greed. Not because of some women can't rule it's just that the hightowers wanted one of their own on the throne and that was just fucking it and the only entire point.
Basically Rhaenyrion would be more charming and active fellow than his great great great igaf great son Rhaegar.
And people would still ask yo what if that guy had gotten to be king maybe it would've been nice.
Anyway you did not fucking ask for this ask and to be honest this is the equivalent of me scribbling out my brain nonsense on the nearest scrap of scrap paper except it turned out to be your ask box. I was rereading some of your posts because I like rereading your posts sometimes and my brain started cooking and we basically squatted on your front porch to grill this idea. I would say a bigger sorry but I had a little too much fun writing this.
Oh wow that was heavy. You should write a fic.
This is my totally civil take about an AU where Rhaenyra is a man.
For the record I don't believe there would be a dance if Rhaenyra was a man, but it's not impossible. If there was a dance, it would be a much more clear cut situation than this though, because Rhaenyra being a woman and having sex makes her a morally grey character in the eyes of a big part of the audience. The greens would have zero support in the fandom had Rhaenyra been a man.
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The Prospects
Note: As always, I try to keep my reviews is as vague as possible. I prefer to go into books knowing as little as possible and I don't want to ruin that for anyone else, but I do give away some basic ideas and tropes used so that readers have clearer idea of what the book is about. If you'd prefer to know nothing, please skip this review until after you've read the book.
If there were a Mount Rushmore for my favorite contemporary, achillean romance novels, The Prospects by K.T. Hoffman would now be up there along with Red, White & Royal Blue and Boyfriend Material. It's that good.
This novel gave me everything I could possible want in a romance. It's wonderfully written, seriously funny, and so very joyful. Here are some highlights and points that I think are worth noting:
This book is full of great characters. Gene and Luis are both so loveable and will be relatable to so many people in so many different ways. The supporting characters are also fun and interesting and add a lot to the story.
Representation: this book feels so inclusive and has so much wonderful and casual representation.
The relationship is a perfectly constructed and well-paced slowburn. There is no "instalove" here. By the time these two get together, you understand why these two want to be with each other and how being with each other improves each of their lives.
It's friends-to-rivals-to-lovers! Gene and Luis were friends in college then something happened that caused some distance and resentment. Now they are forced together and things develop from there.
It's Spicy! This is an "open door" romance with a on-page sex scenes.
Found Family and biological family. Luis and Gene both have great families that feature in some great scenes but there's also found family. The relationships that Gene, especially, has with his teammates is a beautiful part of the story.
Baseball. I normally don't read sports romance books because I don't watch or really care about any kind of sports. This didn't stop me from loving every minute of this book. The baseball plot is woven into the relationship growth in a way that feels natural and that, I think, should keep both baseball & non-baseball fans easily invested in the story.
This book is hopeful and optimistic. While there are moments of drama and angst, there is nothing too heavy or sad in this book. This novel is 100% pure queer and trans joy.
Tags for the book: romance, queer, Achillean, trans character, contemporary romance, sports romance, rivals to lovers, spicy
I highly recommend this book to all romance fans. It comes out on April 9, 2024!
#the prospects#book review#book recs#books#arc review#best of 2024#netgalley#queer books#5 star reads#K.T. Hoffman
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GETTING TO KNOW YOU.
respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!
ROLEPLAYER NAME: Christina / Tina
ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: She/her!
MUSE NAME: // gently gestures towards Muse List.
PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: It depends on the day. If I'm at work (which I am most of the week), I can't easily access Discord since it's blocked on the work computers and using our phones is grounds for suspension. So, as long as folks can be PATIENT and not spam me, Discord is the preferred medium. Otherwise, Tumblr IMs are okay, too!
EXPERIENCE: I've been writing pretty much all my life, but on Tumblr, I'd say I've been here... almost 10 years, if I've not already reached a decade?
PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: I adore fluff mainly. Too much angst makes things feel forced, and I don't like writing strictly negativity or tense situations. It's just not realistic, no matter how tragic a character's life/backstory is. I love fluffy interactions, I love writing domestic moments, and I love writing big developments. Moments that kind of... shift the dynamic and the world we're building together.
PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS:
People who are always negative, or who take things so personally to the point it becomes ridiculous. Vague posting, constant complaining, whining, etc... it gets to be too much sometimes, especially if it's untagged. We're here to write and to bond and vibe; how people manage to add melodramatics and high school drama to this, too, is beyond my realm of understanding.
Making big ship/dynamic decisions without asking me first. There's a difference between something being a surprise (like a marriage proposal), and just flat out moving forward with a big plot point without coming to me to see if I'm okay with it, because my muse(s) very well might not be, and I won't hesitate to state this (it kills the motivation, honestly). Roleplaying involves two, sometimes more people; this isn't a fanfiction, so all parties involved should be considered. Some of my muses don't want children, some of my muses aren't okay with sex, etc, etc. Communication, folks. It's not that hard, and most of the time, I'll be okay with it! Just ask first.
Constantly making blogs for muses and then abandoning said blogs, or remaking blogs multiple times a year. It's okay to want a fresh start from time to time, or to want to pick up a new muse, but I'm not about to keep switching up my tags because you need a new URL every 3 months, and I'm not gonna keep following if I notice you have a graveyard of abandoned blogs.
PLOTS OR MEMES: I'm not the BEST at plotting, especially if it's someone I've not been writing with for a long time, so honestly, memes are a bit easier for me to work off of. It gives me something to work with right from the start, and we can build from there and mold it as we go.
LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: It depends on my motivation. I tend to take a very long time with my lengthier threads, so I like to balance it out with shorter threads, here and there, just to keep the muse flowing.
BEST TIME TO WRITE: Motivation tends to hit while I'm at work, annoyingly enough, but typically, late at night works best for me. It's when I'm most active, since I literally stay up all night, lmfao.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: Some of them, yes. Others? Not even remotely close.
tagged by: @serabellyms ;; Thanks, hun!
tagging: @hyaciiintho, @ironbloodcd , @box-of-characters , @seeasunset , @r3ys-malt3s3 , @mystiic , @inyvat , and anyone else this may interest!
#[ don't think i've seen this one before! thanks! ]#;; oh jeeze what now? ( ooc )#OOC ;; ( MUNTINA )#OOC ;; ( MUNDAY )
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"I make murderous men cute, that's just my thing."
Note: For personal reasons, I like writing soft villains. I don't like the implication that makes my version of them "fake", lesser, or completely devoid from the canon I take large inspiration from. I'm not going to argue over preferences/interpretations, just don't be a dick about it. Ranking certain depictions as more "true" than others will get you blocked.
Greetings! I'm Nightmares or Silver. I'm an asexual, 22 year old transman (he/him) and this is my blog for most of my self shipping antics. I have a type and it's either evil or slightly crazed with glasses lol. I mostly write (too much) fanfiction and make random posts for my ships. I love hearing about other's F/Os and seeing all your guys' lovely creations! I am plural. If you don't know what this means or how to avoid spreading negative plural stereotypes, do not follow me.
I am okay with sharing all F/Os (except the OCs).
My main f/o is Mordecai Heller from Lackadaisy, who I've paired with my S/I Silver (he/him). I've written a lot of lore about them at this point, so if you ask about them expect to get your ear talked off.
Ao3 / F/Os / Lacka FOs / NSFW / Lacka College AU
DNI
*Certain canon x canon ships make me uncomfortable, particularly Rocky x Mordecai, Rocky x Serafine, and Rocky x Mordecai x Serafine. I also am not comfortable with Mordecai being shipped with Atlas or Mitzi, and/or Ivy or Freckle being shipped with Mordecai, Viktor, or Mitzi and Atlas as well. Freckle x the Savoys would also make me uncomfortable.
Please tag these ships properly or let me know a tag you use for them so I can block it. This does not include poly selfships with them, except where Atlas and Mitzi x Mordecai or Ivy x Mordecai are concerned. Viktor x Ivy or Freckle too, and Ivy or Freckle with Atlas or Mitzi. For those I will just outright block you. Sorry, but they squeak me out.
Not plural safe (if you make jokes about or reblog jokes that go along the lines of "I have an alter ego/other personality so I'm crazy" you're not plural safe). Minor x adult, incest, or bestiality shippers (aka characters that are just animals). Pro ship. Anti self diagnosis. Bigots of any kind. Exclusionists. Unnecessarily dictate how characters should be written (especially asexual characters). If you have F/Os from creepypastas I probably won't be comfy interacting with you. Drama/discourse blogs. Please tag things pertaining to the deaths of my F/Os, including theories. Thank you!
I have villain F/Os and enjoy following others with villain F/Os. If that bothers you this is not the place for you. That being said, characters that canonically commit acts of CSA, SA, or child abuse/murder make me extremely uncomfortable and I may block you if you self ship with villains of that descriptor. I am not comfortable with Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde F/Os, please don't follow me if you have them.
I hate vague posting with a passion and will block you if I see you do it.
About Discord Servers
I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but, I don't join Discord servers. Why? Simply put, I block people for the sake of my own mental health. Some of these people are within the communities I reside most often in. However, Discord servers often mean I have to bend my block list to get along in and have a comfortable time in said server. 9 times out of 10 the instincts that made me block someone were correct. Therefore I prefer my blog because I can have an easier time curating my interactions with the community.
That being said I am totally down to chat with you on discord if you want to add me! Chatting one on one gives me more power to block people that make me uncomfortable and avoid people on my blocklist.
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Tricks up my sleeves took YEARS to be completed and they want to pretend they didn't know about the drama until now? After admitting they unfollow anyone who DARES bring up what shitty things ppl in the community are doing?? It's such BS what are yall talking abt them acting reasonably. Have any of you read the actual comment they made, there's a reason they're being so vague about "problematic" stuff the artists did because both drew CP and one of them STILL HAS A PLATFORM. If you replaced problematic artists in their comment with "people who sexualize children" it'd sound insane hence why they're being so vague and weird about it. It's pure manipulation folks!! Also they supported JK Rowling with a drawing for her birthday on twitter and said they "didn't agree with her views" but were still gonna support her. This is that same attitude but for people who did something that is literally ILLEGAL what do u mean reasonable this is one of the worst responses I've seen in my life??
They made it all about "poor me the internet is so mean just bc I put some bad people who did bad things [they rlly don't wanna mention what was actually done LMAO] Im a grown ass adult who thinks I shouldn't have any responsibility to protect my mostly child audience pwease tell me I sound reasonable." We are not rewriting this narrative to be nice to them come on guys.
Their care about the victims to these people is SO PISS POOR, they won't even add A WARNING A WARNING a sentence in the desc saying 'hey these two people suck don't watch if that would upset you'. Then at the same time are telling people to just not watch it if they don't like it? HOW??? IF YOU WON'T WARN THEM WHAT'S IN IT THEY CAN'T AVOID IT?? Almost like admitting they have two abusers in their map would be like... A bad look or something and they care abt that more than others safety or comfort.
Also they deleted my reply to their comment saying all this so no, they're not "being reasonable" this is purely and simply protecting the horrible artists who did that shit. Let's not play devil's advocate for ppl who draw CP please-
jesus christ calm down i was just giving my uninformed opinion on the situation because people asked. did you not see my reply adding that if they purposefully blocked people warning about dangerous people in the fandom, they have no right to complain when people point out that they have unsafe people in their map?
how the fuck did you jump from that to me ‘playing devils advocate for people who draw cp’???
if i sound defensive its because i. am. obviously.
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Story Craft: Process
Okay, so this post is gonna be brief but will hopefully help you if you start to feel overwhelmed. As I started to play my world-building post, I realised that I would need to touch on a lot of plot aspects because of how interconnected everything ends up.
But that's the key: ends up.
My fantasy story looks completely different to how it started. It's gone through deep, deep revisions and just slowly ship of Theseus'd itself into something almost new. My detective game on the other hand has barely changed, I've had a stronger idea of where I wanted things to go from the start and have only added new things that tease out character ideas, plotlines, conflict and drama.
Plot, basically. These are cool scenes and set pieces you imagine. They could come from your own imagination and desires, like when you close your eyes and day dream, when you're listening to music and envision cool scenes, betrayals, twists, reveals, fights scenes, cool encounters, rescue missions, etc. Of they could come from being inspired by other things you've seen. "I loved that scene and want to do something like it in my own story", "I hated that scene, it should have gone this way", "I thought there were going to go somewhere else with that scene and now I'm disappointed", etc.
Events, plotlines and themes are just skeletal frameworks: they're entirely universal, but they all have requirements that need to be met to work properly. All you need to do is look over the event, theme or plotline with a technical eye.
"What underlying components are in play to make this theme/plotline/event have impact to me?"
While there is no one-size-fits-all solution to breaking down events to their core components, there are a number of things you can look at and see if they play a part. (I'll be using 'scene' as a catchall term here but this can apply to many different aspects of plot).
This is especially helpful if you're starting from an Inspiration point and adapting an idea you liked/were disappointed in for your own story!
Surface Details. Look over the scene and analyse it. What elements are at play, either obviously or under the surface? The characters in play often hand backstories and mindsets, so scrape away all the details and hone in on what the result is.
Does the character need to be so cautious they don't trust anyone so that their rescue comes as a joyous surprise, or or focused entirely on work so they never see the budding romance, or rich and naive so that their betrayal comes as a complete shock?
What about the situation between characters? Former friends and now bully & victim, or two battlefield generals on opposite sides of a conflict, or a group of co-workers who make nice and do what they can to get along being forced into a dangerous situation that relies on cooperation?
And the emotional flow of events? Peaceful daily life that turns into a natural disaster scenario, or a serial killer on the loose in a quiet village, or all of the characters have been kidnapped and are in an unknown locations?
Use generic words. The flavour comes from what you add, but to add flavour properly, you gotta understand the tools in your hands.
Power Balance. Does the scene use control or shifting control? Something like a betrayal, rescue scenes, reinforcement scenes, joining forces with a villain, or revealing a secret have an underlying battle of power and control. The scenes themselves often hinge on a reversal of power to have impact. Find where the power is and how it changes hands.
Realisation. This can be for the characters or the audience. We should take special care when there is a perception change at play. If we or the characters come to a startling realisation in this scene, you look over what the perception was, what the new perception is and how the change took place. (This slide's a little more vague but just.. just go with me on it)
Characters, basically. This works similar to plot. Where does your inspiration come from: something you saw or something you came up with? In my experience, those are the two places inspiration for ideas comes from. Whatever your origin point, I offer the same advice of cracking open the character and taking at peek see at the core components that get that character being ratings. Here are couple of VERY OLD slides from my early character work, but it should give you some confidence and ideas that things can evolve.
In this, you can see I use monikers like 'the honourable mage', 'merc boss' and 'wandering noble' but also refer to characters by their inspirations, like Dimitri & Felix (Fire Emblem: Three Houses). No one really has to know or see your behind-the-scenes work files, where you take inspiration is your business. I often refer to characters by their moniker or placeholder name based on their inspiration until I find a name that suits them.
This next slide is interesting because it shows that even back then, I had components in mind.
Inspirations is obviously what I refer back to when I keep thinking of their core concept. It's what helps me write the flavour text and description, and would probably be used in conjunction with typology for me these days. The Aspects part is a term I got from the FATE system of RPG books and I use it here to explain a strong core piece of the character in a term or phrase. These Aspects should be clear on their own and give you an idea of how the trait can be used to win the day or cause things to come to a crashing halt, how it can be used to create comedic scenes and have it can be used to win people over. It's important to find balance in your characters. A new rule I have in creation is 'You gotta know how your character is gonna eat shit'. I like to see the comic potential and dramatic potential in all my characters. If a character doesn't eat shit, they seem special and above the rest. Are they too good to make mistakes, be over the top or be funny to use? Think in three dimensions, friends.
Setting, basically. These are the great facilitators. They are the unsung heroes that nonetheless, must remain mostly unsung. Parts of the world and setting are of the backdrop and instigator of events, carry the physical embodiment of theme, provide resistance, encouragement and biases for characters. You often put a lot of work into world-building but if you share to much of it, it becomes a never-ending wall of text, a slew of infodumping.
But by tying your aspects of your world-building and setting into aspects of the story or character.
I like to think of story creating in a node-based way. It's all about outlets and inputs. This is a very, veeeery basic example but check out this image.
It's a simple diagram for the components of a betrayal. We supply two characters and stakes. And in the case of things like countries or groups being factors in the betrayal, then I highly recommend having a representative from the group or nation that is the architect or at least responsible for the betrayal in some way. This is one of the MAJOR problems I have with games like Fire Emblem: whole countries start behaving like a single person and the action ends up feeling hollow and the world empty (FE4, I am staring at you specifically). We can, of course, feed more into the action device: emotions, stability, power, objects within the story, characters within the story, etc. But we're keeping it simple here: two character plus stakes in, the results for the betrayed and the results for the betrayed. These components can join into other events, decisions and moments.
The newly empowered stance of the betrayer might been the actions he needed to take to get the money to propose to the Princess, so he could get closer to the Prince and carry out an elaborate revenge plot against he man who killed his entire family.
The newly weakened stance of the betrayed might end up with her on the run and seeking new allies in places she would have dismissed in her earlier life, granting her new perspectives and showing her the world she never knew.
Keep these words in mind when creating:
"...but..."
"...and therefore..."
Nothing ends unless you say it ends. Everything can get worse or get better. Events, characters, themes, plotlines, setting, and systems all form a kind of butterfly effect where things happen because of what came before and will affect what comes after it. By taking out elements or feeding new details into them, you get a slightly different outcome. And things will change over time to fit better, more cleanly, take you in new directions, better directions, revisited directions -- it'll be a journey. And a fun one, if you let it be.
Happy creating.
Want more writing advice? Check out this post!
#story talk#character talk#world-building#structure#settings#plotlines#take it one step at a time#all things come in time#let's have some fun
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