(Candela Obscura Ch3 spoilers under the cut, proceed with caution etc!!)
LISTEN.
Call me crazy here, but I just think they did NOT put in all that effort pining and being miserably and pathetically in love (and in plain view of everyone else?? with zero shame??? get UP you two, goddamn) only to not even be allowed ONE little tragic kiss for their troubles. 😤
That had to be remedied—if people at the table won’t let them have nice things, then someone’s gotta step in in the name of cosmic justice and smoosh their faces together like barbies. <3
(It most definitely had nothing to do with me violently sobbing yesterday and desperately needing justification to ignore canon and live peacefully in delululand, convinced he kept the promise he made to not leave her alone and they proceeded to live happily ever after! That’s what happened, what are you talking about!)
Anyway, they live rent-free in my head and apparently with no plans of moving out, so there may be more ✨artistic coping mechanisms✨ on the horizon!
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nocturne
Elsie sees to him last, at his insistence. Rajan has never been overly fond of doctors (with one notable exception), and whatever she had done in the tunnels below Greyslate has kept him from death's door for now.
"I'll be back," she says, once he's settled on the sofa, assurance and threat in one. He won't be weaseling his way out of this one.
He regards the crumbling ruin of his torso and thinks that is probably for the best.
Rajan settles in to wait for Elsie to return, knowing it may take a while, given the extent of Cosmo's injuries alone. He closes his eyes, tilts his head back, relaxes into the cushions of the sofa, and...does not sleep. It is not the pain in his chest that keeps him awake, rather the yawning ache of emptiness. Stillness and quiet where there is usually a low drone of activity.
It reminds him far too much of their his house that sits abandoned in Briar Green. The only difference being that he knows the swarm will eventually return.
Soft footsteps draw him out of thoughts that are spiraling into maudlin. "Raj?"
He cracks an eye open, takes a moment to focus through the kaleidoscoping fractals. Elsie stands in the doorway, her black bag in one hand, still covered in dirt and blood, her hair falling from its pins. Beautiful.
"Elsie." He gives her a half smile, sitting up straighter, wincing as the movement pulls, close to tearing.
She brings a stool over to sit in front of him, sets her bag on the sofa beside him. "How are you feeling?" she asks, tracing cool fingers over the scars above his eye. He leans into the touch for just a moment.
"I've been worse," he tells her. That gets him a raised eyebrow and an annoyed twist of her lips.
"Right, of course." He can see the muscle working in her jaw as she turns away from him. Her hands clench and unclench in her lap. "You promised that you wouldn't make this difficult."
He hadn't really, not in so many words, and certainly not with any degree of sincerity at the time. But he knows when to swallow his pride, and so he takes one of her hands in his, strokes his thumb gently over her knuckles, his touch lingering on the indent where a ring used to sit.
"What do you need from me, darling?"
Elsie turns back to him with a sigh, pulling her hand back. She steels herself before pulling open the tattered remains of his shirt and jacket, exposing the gaping wound on his chest.
"Tell me how I can help you," she pleads. "How do I-" Her hands flutter nervously for a second. "Is there anything I can do to fix...this?"
Whatever Rajan may have been expecting, nothing could have possibly prepared him for Elsie reaching her hand into his chest and stroking along the torn edges of the hive. All of the breath leaves his lungs on a gasp, and something hot races down his spine. He meets Elsie's wide eyes, and realizes belatedly that his hand is clamped, vice-like, around her wrist.
"I'll take that as a 'no'," she says breathlessly, withdrawing her hand.
"The swarm will return," he says after a moment, his extremities still tingling, "and they will take care of...internal repairs." And expansion, but she needn't worry about that. "The most you can do for me is close the wound."
"Okay." She nods, reaching for her bag, all business. "Lie back."
She works in silence for several minutes, cleaning the edges of torn skin, numbing the area as best she can, and starting to stitch him up. The sensation is uncomfortable, but never painful. He allows himself to relax into it; her hands delicate and precise, her gaze intent.
"I-I didn't realize-" She starts and stops tentatively. "How long has this been a part of you?"
He doesn't answer right away. "Since the night I lost my sister."
"Raj," she breathes. He has to look away from the pity in her eyes. "Why did you never tell me?"
He hums. "I suspect for the same reason you never told me about your illness," he says. She freezes, and he reaches up to tuck an errant curl behind her ear. "It was my burden to bear, Little Bird."
She is nearly finished before she speaks again, working on the last few stitches. "I never wanted to hurt you, Raj," she whispers, loose strands of her hair tickling his bare chest.
"Nor I, you," he says. "And, yet, here we are."
"Where do we go from here?" she asks, once he is stitched and bandaged, his shirt mostly back in place.
Rajan sighs. "To sleep, Elsie."
"Be serious."
"I am," he insists. "It's been a long day, we're both exhausted. Anything else can be left for the morning."
He watches her shoulders slump, the stubborn set of her jaw relax. "Fine." She finds a blanket for him and turns off the lamps. Then he watches as she frees the rest of her hair from the pins, removes her shoes, and curls up like a cat on the opposite side of the sofa.
"What are you doing?" he asks, incredulous.
Elsie huffs. "All of the guest rooms are occupied," she says, adding in a softer voice, "and I don't have the energy to climb the stairs to my room tonight."
He hums, can feel sleep finally coming to claim him. "Sleep well, Elsie," he murmurs, running his thumb over her ankle; once, twice. "May your dreams be free from shadows."
She pokes him in the hip with her toe. "And may the morning come swiftly."
***
Rajan wakes just a few hours later, as the sky is starting to lighten in the pre-dawn. There is a warm weight pressed against his side, and he finds that he and Elsie have migrated towards each other in the night. Her head is on his shoulder, her arm flung across his waist, and he barely has to move his head to be able to smell the traces of jasmine and honey on her skin.
She mumbles something unintelligible and snuggles closer. He inhales deep, catching the underlying scent of petrichor and bleed, closes his eyes again, allowing them both a moment of comfort before they have to face a new day and whatever lies ahead.
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every darkness has to end in morning light
Elsie wakes with a start to a roll of thunder and flashes of lightning that illuminate the dark room. She has to take a moment to shake off the disorientation that comes from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. Raj is a grounding presence behind her, one arm slung across her middle and his breath warm on her neck, and it helps to calm her racing heart, allows her to reel back her anxiety.
They're in a rented room in Seasway, taking a week long vacation that Raj had insisted on when she couldn't honestly tell him the last time she'd slept for more than an hour or two at a time. (Her research was important, but she had to begrudgingly admit that he was right that her lack of proper sleep would only result in mistakes that would eventually come back to bite her.) His playful teasing about finally taking the opportunity to teach her how to swim was countered by a looming storm that brought rough waters and a sharp drop in temperature. The most they've done so far is taking one short walk along the beach, and then hiding away to take advantage of the privacy of their room.
The clock on the mantle is reading just past three-thirty. She should roll over and try to go back to sleep. That would be the smart thing to do. It's what Raj would want her to do. But there is something about the way the lightning reflects off of the waves that captivates her. It draws her out of bed and to the window where she can look out at the Glass Sea and the storm that rages over it. She doesn't know how long she stands there, her breath fogging the glass as the lightning dances across the water in hypnotic patterns.
There is a tug from deep in her gut, a sudden urge to leave the room, the desire to walk down to the beach and into the sea only held at bay by her sense of self preservation. She can't swim, and the water is far too dangerous even if she could. In that moment of clarity, something from even deeper within, something primal, rears its head and she takes a few steps back from the window, feeling oddly defiant as she does so. The answering boom of thunder is so loud that it rattles the windows, and she hears something clatter off the vanity behind her.
She misses the creak of the bed and Rajan's footsteps across the floor, and so she nearly screams when his arms wrap around her from behind.
"Elsie." He places a kiss just behind her ear as she once again tries to slow the frantic beating of her heart. "My darling." Another kiss, this one to her jaw. "Light of my life." One more kiss, where her neck meets her shoulder. "It's barely five in the morning, what are you doing up?"
She has to glance at the clock, because surely she can't have been standing at the window for over an hour. Her anxiety spikes when she confirms that, yes, it is a few minutes past five.
"The storm woke me," she says, trying to keep her voice steady. "I couldn't fall back asleep." She almost doesn't say anything more, but the part of her that craves the reassurance that her fears are unfounded wins out. "And there was something strange about the storm. Like once I started watching it, I couldn't look away."
He hums. "I can see what you mean," he says. "It is oddly beautiful."
"It felt...wrong?" she says with a shake of her head. "Dangerous? I don't know."
He sucks in a breath, and she feels his arms tighten around her. "Dangerous how?"
"It felt like it was trying to draw me in," she says, feeling her face flush with embarrassment. "Like if the glass wasn't there, I would have walked right into the sea. I don't know. It's stupid."
Raj presses a kiss to her temple. "Stop that," he scolds gently. "You have better instincts than you realize. There's definitely something unnatural about it." He's quiet for a long moment, seemingly content to hold her. "We can go back to the city if you'd like," he offers. "Later today, once we've gotten some more sleep."
"Raj, no," she says, half turning in his embrace. "I don't want to cut our trip short because I'm being paranoid." She sighs. "And, honestly, I think I'd feel less safe trying to travel in this weather."
"Alright. If you're sure?" She nods. He sighs. "But if we see anyone wearing a diamond pin on their lapel, we're leaving immediately."
She smiles. "Is that the secret organization that you refuse to join?"
"Candela, yes," he says. "And wherever they are is exactly where we don't want to be."
Raj manages to coax her back to bed, though it feels wrong to turn her back to the storm. He puts himself between her and the window, and she settles in with her head on his chest. There's a soothing hum that accompanies his heartbeat, a low drone that somehow drowns out the noise of the storm and lulls Elsie back to sleep.
They wake in the morning to a cloudless sunny sky, calm waters, and everyone in town pretending that the previous night's storm never existed.
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